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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1384 - Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir is a stand-up comedian and also hosts the podcasts “Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank” & “Punch Drunk Sports.”

Joe RoganhostAri ShaffirguestGuestguest
Nov 14, 20192h 46mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 1:15

    Recording mishap, Bert’s “Hurt Bert,” and getting wrecked by a kid in jiu-jitsu

    1. JR

      ... doesn't matter, but yeah.

    2. AS

      Sorry.

    3. JR

      (laughs) Well, that one never got repeated in podcast history.

    4. AS

      Well, we fucked that up.

    5. JR

      (laughs)

    6. AS

      We thought we were recording, we were saying how Bert is the only person we know who's both funny and a great promoter. Like, usually you get one or the other. You get someone who's really funny-

    7. JR

      Yeah.

    8. AS

      But we were talking about Bert's, uh, v... We thought, "Oh, this is being recorded."

    9. JR

      Oh, it would've been so much better if they got that natural thing.

    10. AS

      If the audio is being recorded the whole time. Oh.

    11. JR

      Just that video, so I can leave that in the MP3, everybody can download that beginning part. (laughs)

    12. AS

      Oh, okay. (laughs)

    13. JR

      All right. Give it to one of those cartoonists and make them make the video.

    14. AS

      I just fucked it up. Well, for everybody do... The audio, we're gonna stop now. We're gonna double repeat ourselves.

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. AS

      So, a bunch of people... Bert used to have a show called Bert... Hurt Bert, and that one disturbed me the most 'cause-

    17. JR

      I don't remember this one at all.

    18. AS

      Hurt Bert, he would do a bunch of stupid shit and get injured.

    19. JR

      But he's really getting hurt.

    20. AS

      (laughs) That's what... He's doing jujitsu with some kid, and some, uh, red belt kid who's with, uh, Hellson Gr... Oh, Rorion Gracie. Um-

    21. JR

      He really... That, that...

    22. AS

      Yeah.

    23. JR

      When he was that young, he really reminds me of that frat guy.

    24. AS

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      That he was. I can't really see it now, but this is him, like, four years removed from that. (laughs)

    26. AS

      This guy keeps arm barring him, he doesn't know what to do here. I think-

    27. JR

      (laughs) Kid is 108 pounds.

    28. AS

      I think part of it, he's also going along with it, enjoying-

    29. JR

      He's about to take the offensive. Fuck that.

    30. AS

      Wow.

  2. 1:15 – 2:57

    The viral school bus clip: bus driver throws a “kid” off… who turns out to be an adult little person

    1. AS

      How about that video that I showed you, that Bridget Phetasy showed me? It's a video of this guy who's on a school bus, and they're just-

    2. JR

      And this, it starts with the bus driver throwing a little kid off.

    3. AS

      Throwing a little, a little kid off the school bus, screaming at him, and then a bunch of people are like, "What the fuck are you doing, man? You can't do that."

    4. JR

      They chase him back onto the bus, they sh-

    5. AS

      The, the bus driver gets back on the bus, and then they check the little kid.

    6. JR

      He does not feel remorseful.

    7. AS

      "Are you okay?" And they realize, this little kid with, like, a lunchbox and everything-

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. AS

      ... is actually a grown midget.

    10. JR

      (laughs)

    11. AS

      And he's pretending that he's a little kid, hanging out with these little kids, and the bus driver found it.

    12. JR

      (laughs) Dude, the look on everybody's face when, like, when they say, "Wait, he's not a kid?" And then all of... Oh, I was mad.

    13. AS

      Yeah. S- see, like, he's got the lunchbox.

    14. JR

      Now I'm confused.

    15. AS

      He throws out his lunchbox and then he grabs him.

    16. JR

      He throws him?

    17. AS

      Yeah.

    18. GU

      Get off the bus, Joey!

    19. AS

      It's crazy.

    20. GU

      Oh, my gosh, who does that to my son?

    21. AS

      'Cause he's got a little kid's backpack.

    22. JR

      And then I'm like, "What the fuck are you doing?"

    23. AS

      People ready to beat his ass.

    24. JR

      Beat the bus driver's ass. They saw him chuck off a little kid.

    25. AS

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      That's a five-year-old's body.

    27. GU

      Oh, my God!

    28. AS

      People ready to fuck him up.

    29. JR

      She's calling the cops.

    30. AS

      Yeah. And then they get to him to see, "Hey, are you okay?" Now watch this.

  3. 2:57 – 4:57

    Switching to iPhone and using screen-time limits to fight compulsive scrolling

    1. AS

      Nobermember, November. I definitely don't remember what the fuck we were talking about. Dude, you're, uh, you're on an iPhone now. Tell me what that's been like.

    2. JR

      Okay. It's been pretty interesting.

    3. AS

      Yeah?

    4. JR

      So I've set myself an October to see if I can fucking do it again. You told me about that app that's on the thing.

    5. AS

      Mm-hmm. Limits your screen time.

    6. JR

      Limits your screen time.

    7. AS

      Yeah.

    8. JR

      You have that for your kids.

    9. AS

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      Um, yeah. That's what I was looking for. Like, five, six years ago, there was nothing. It would just give you alarms.

    11. AS

      Right.

    12. JR

      And you could snooze it.

    13. AS

      Not good enough.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. AS

      Yeah. You know, it's sort of like, remember when we had to do those 15 yoga classes?

    16. JR

      Uh-huh.

    17. AS

      Like, you had to do it. So because you had to do it, you just fucking knew you were gonna do it. The wishy-washiness was gone.

    18. JR

      Of what?

    19. AS

      The wishy-washiness. "I don't have to do this, I can back off."

    20. JR

      Right.

    21. AS

      "I can just... I'm kinda tired anyway, let me take the day off." That, all that shit was gone. You couldn't do that.

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. AS

      That's sort of the same thing with that app. Because you could always say, "I'm not gonna use my phone much."

    24. JR

      Right. Fuck that.

    25. AS

      Like, what does that mean?

    26. JR

      Dude, I'm an observer of the other people on their phones. Everyone who says that is on all the time.

    27. AS

      Yeah. It's so easy to be on. And you could... With me, I found myself just reading Google News stories for no reason.

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. AS

      Just looking up... And a lot of them aren't even, like, interesting. It's like, "Oh, this car sold for this much money." Or, "Oh, you know..."

    30. JR

      And you're just like-

  4. 4:57 – 8:14

    Early-internet shock sharing, extreme porn niches, and why “someone likes everything”

    1. JR

      But you're just... But couch, the early days of the internet were like this.

    2. AS

      Yeah. Yeah, well it, it was a true story too.

    3. JR

      Yeah.

    4. AS

      I did have a friend of mine that I'd go back and forth with. He was so fucking... (laughs) He was one of those dudes that just knows everything that's fucked up. Like, he can find all the video, the Budd Dwyer video, you know, he was one of those guys. And he would send me this video, it's like, "Batter's up." And, uh, I would be like, "Batter up? What the fuck is this?" I open up the email and it's, uh, that porn star with a baseball bat up her ass.

    5. JR

      (laughs) Belladonna?

    6. AS

      Yes. It was her. And I was like, "Jesus Christ." A- and then, you know, and then it, I... We would go back and forth. I would send him something fucked up, he would send me something fucked up.

    7. JR

      (laughs) The baseball bat was surprising.

    8. AS

      Batter nowhere. Batter up.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. AS

      I was like, "What is this?" I'm like, "Oh my God, how? How?"

    11. JR

      (laughs)

    12. AS

      That poor girl's asshole must be a wreck.

    13. JR

      Dude, interesting fact about Belladonna, that first storytelling show we ever did at The Improv, 12 people were there, and she was one of them.

    14. AS

      Oh, wow.

    15. JR

      Well.

    16. AS

      She used to go to the comedy store.

    17. JR

      No, she was cool.

    18. AS

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      ... um, yeah, it was crazy.

    20. AS

      They offered me some gaping porn. They had some, uh, DVDs they were giving away. I'm like, "I'm good, man. Thanks."

    21. JR

      (laughs)

    22. AS

      The guy was like, "Why didn't you take it?" I was like, "Hey man, it's not a disrespectful thing. It's just, uh-"

    23. JR

      It's not my thing.

    24. AS

      "... I'm not into your art."

    25. JR

      Also, I'm afraid I gotta go down this l- this line, tell her husband.

    26. AS

      This, this wh- when, like, gaping porn is the weirdest shit ever, 'cause th- it's people wanna look inside people's bodies. You wanna look in the hole. They want the hole to be gaping.

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. AS

      That's like a s- that's a style of porn.

    29. JR

      And-

    30. AS

      Gaping.

  5. 8:14 – 11:33

    Larry Flynt, Deep Throat, and how porn shaped speech battles (and even Watergate nicknames)

    1. GU

      Was this type of porn (clears throat) inevitable? Or like-

    2. AS

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      Yeah, of course.

    4. GU

      ... if Larry Flynt never did the Hustler stuff and never went through all the court cases, would-

    5. AS

      It's a human thing, man.

    6. GU

      ... it have never happened?

    7. JR

      Would've happened in, in a hundred years.

    8. AS

      Yeah, those Larry Flynt guys are important. That they helped move the needle, for sure. No doubt. I mean, that guy took a bullet for f- the freedom of expression.

    9. JR

      Yeah.

    10. AS

      Whether you like porn or not, we've all jerked off to it. And if you say you didn't, you're a hypocrite.

    11. GU

      I'm mean, I'm not listening.

    12. JR

      No way. Just a liar.

    13. AS

      Not listening. Yeah.

    14. GU

      Where he like crossed the line that was, that existed then, like, yeah.

    15. AS

      Yes, he fra- he certainly did. But my point is, I think that there was a l- there w- like, they had already done Deep Throat before Hustler, right? Wasn't Deep Throat ... When was Deep Throat ...

    16. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    17. AS

      Deep Throat was a porn film that people went to see like a regular film. It was like a movie.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. AS

      It was-

    20. JR

      X.

    21. GU

      Same time, wasn't it also a nickna- like a code name for s- for someone, like, the military thing-

    22. AS

      Yes, but that's po-

    23. GU

      ... but like-

    24. AS

      No, no, no. That's post.

    25. GU

      Okay, because of-

    26. AS

      That's during Watergate. Well, that was one of the insiders in Watergate, and their nickname was Deep Throat. But that was because the movie had already been out.

    27. GU

      '72 ...

    28. JR

      They named one of the Nixon W- Watergate people-

    29. AS

      Deep Throat, yes, yes, yes.

    30. JR

      ... after a porno? (laughs)

  6. 11:33 – 14:18

    Porn reviews in comedy, Stanhope’s mom, Kill Tony legends, and blur-tools for YouTube nudity

    1. JR

      Didn't you and Stanhope, and Stanhope's mom review boobs or something?

    2. AS

      Yes. Stanhope's mom reviewed porn on the Man Show.

    3. JR

      That was it.

    4. AS

      Yeah, that's what it was.

    5. JR

      Yes.

    6. AS

      Stanhope's mom would watch porn and give these fucking hilarious reviews of it. It was one of the best things we did.... it was really, her, his mom was really funny too.

    7. JR

      Really?

    8. AS

      She's like Hinchcliffe's mom. You've seen Hinchcliffe's mom do stand-

    9. JR

      Uh-huh.

    10. AS

      Dude.

    11. JR

      She did stand-up? What?

    12. AS

      Hinchcliffe's mom did stand-up. He wrote the bits for her and she did 'em. She had cue cards, she did it at Kill Tony, f- packed main room and fucking murdered.

    13. JR

      (laughs)

    14. AS

      I'm telling you, dude, she killed. And one of 'em, she got me with a zinger, I forget what it was, but it was funny.

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. AS

      It was all shit that Tony wrote. It was funny shit, man.

    17. JR

      (laughs)

    18. AS

      And she did it with, like, authority. Like, she hit the punchlines like he coached her.

    19. JR

      Oh, really?

    20. AS

      Yeah, yeah, it was great.

    21. JR

      (laughs)

    22. AS

      It was great.

    23. JR

      (laughs) Funny.

    24. AS

      She had never done anything like that before, and here she murdered at her son's show.

    25. JR

      That's funny.

    26. AS

      And he brings her up as his mom. There it is right now, there's his mom. Okay, that's c- so-

    27. GU

      Dom Irrera!

    28. AS

      ... yeah it is. She's amazing. I'm telling you, dude, she fucking murdered it. Look at her.

    29. JR

      She's taller than him.

    30. AS

      Dude, she... (laughs)

  7. 14:18 – 19:58

    Big Tech power: platforms can delete you, Zuckerberg in China, and algorithms that reward outrage

    1. AS

      Did you see the new release that said something, and maybe this is people freaking out for no reason, maybe it's not.

    2. JR

      Skipped over what it said.

    3. AS

      People were freaking out about some new, uh, terms that they have where they can get rid of any channel that they don't think is commercially viable. Is that the quote?

    4. JR

      What?

    5. GU

      I, they did update their terms of service, but I don't, I, I haven't looked into this, I'm just going off of, uh, what I think. I don't know that that's, like, new in the terms.

    6. AS

      Oh, so it might've already happened.

    7. GU

      I think that they might've always been able to do that.

    8. AS

      Have you heard any of that?

    9. GU

      Like, Facebook can delete your thing.

    10. AS

      Hmm.

    11. GU

      I think Twitter can delete your account.

    12. AS

      Right.

    13. GU

      I think that's kind of in all of them.

    14. AS

      So they always have the ability to tell you to fuck off.

    15. JR

      You can't delete your own account?

    16. AS

      But they can delete yours.

    17. JR

      Ugh.

    18. GU

      (laughs)

    19. AS

      (laughs)

    20. JR

      I mean, come on, dude. They run the fucking world at this point.

    21. AS

      They run the world. Well, Facebook-

    22. JR

      They are bigger than the government.

    23. AS

      Facebook's giant.

    24. JR

      Yeah.

    25. AS

      They're a giant.

    26. JR

      They're multi-natural, -national.

    27. AS

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      They'll go anywhere. They're bigger than the government.

    29. AS

      They're giant. You know what freaked me out? I saw Zuckerberg.

    30. JR

      They have more control over us than the government does.

  8. 19:58 – 22:31

    Instagram hides likes, influencer economics, and the ‘hotter supermarket’ theory

    1. GU

      There's a little, uh, controversy this week that Instagram's gonna take the likes away from viewing.

    2. AS

      Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah.

    3. JR

      Ta- it's gonna take the likes away. The, the-

    4. GU

      From, like, public viewing.

    5. JR

      ... t- to minimize models.

    6. AS

      So you can't... You can't see how many likes you got for a post anymore.

    7. JR

      How many... Can you see how many views?

    8. AS

      You can see it all, but the... I can't see how many likes you got.

    9. JR

      Hmm.

    10. AS

      So if you put up a picture and your, your picture got 40,000 likes, I can never see that.

    11. JR

      Wow. So they can still make their money off it, but everyone else won't get into a contest of like...

    12. GU

      Speculation is that it's going to drive advertising dollars into giving money directly to Instagram instead of people-

    13. JR

      Oh.

    14. GU

      ... being able to advertise on their own.

    15. JR

      Those fucks. Those fucks.

    16. GU

      I don't know if that's really what it is, but...

    17. AS

      But if you were at Instagram, right? And you had people making shit tons of money off your platform just by posting things, "Hey, this is my new butt cream," or whatever the fuck you're selling-

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. AS

      ... and they don't even get a piece of that, they gotta be like, "Hey, what are we doing? We're spending $1 million a month in fucking bandwidth," probably way more than that, actually. And y- you f- p- way more than that. They have videos and shit too. You could upload videos. It's gotta be millions in bandwidth for every month, and they're not getting none of that? I get it.

    20. GU

      They'll... People go there. They'll get their mind numbed. They'll get other ads. It's still, they still monetize them.

    21. AS

      But you'll be able to show-

    22. GU

      It's just shit.

    23. AS

      ... like if you, if you have-

    24. GU

      What?

    25. AS

      ... you know, like a... If you have a screenshot of your phone...

    26. GU

      You can do that. I also think, though, that it's gonna de-incentivize people to like photos.

    27. JR

      Exactly. 'Cause you don't see you're making a difference.

    28. GU

      Right, right, right, right.

    29. AS

      Who's made more money than those butt doctors because of Instagram? Like if you look at-

    30. JR

      (laughs)

  9. 22:31 – 23:56

    Prostitution, relationship leverage, shame, and the things nobody teaches you (sex, booze, relationships)

    1. AS

      ... one of the reasons why prostitution is illegal.

    2. JR

      Why?

    3. AS

      One of the reasons why prostitution is illegal, it would completely flip relationships on its head. If guys didn't need to have a relationship to have sex, just sex, and relationships were only love-

    4. JR

      Sex dolls, yeah.

    5. AS

      ... you can go, no, get sex from a woman for money, just like you can get a hand job, or just like you can get a, um, a massage rather you can get a hand job.

    6. JR

      Yeah.

    7. AS

      Like if you... Why can... How can they give you a massage your head-

    8. JR

      They're not allowed to do that too.

    9. AS

      ... but they can't massage your dick?

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. AS

      Well, if they di-... If they could, there would be so f-... People would change what they want out of a relationship.

    12. JR

      Yeah.

    13. AS

      It would be different. You would, you would, you would... There would be... It would be way... Like any women, and I'm not saying that all women are like this, but any woman-

    14. JR

      No, all women. It's okay.

    15. AS

      Any woman that is sexually man- manipulative where like she won't... She withholds sex from her man if he doesn't do certain things-

    16. JR

      That goes away.

    17. AS

      ... that goes away.

    18. JR

      Dude, that pe-... My, my friends in Bangkok, when I met people in Bangkok, they were like, "They don't play those..." The regular women here, the non-working woman-

    19. AS

      Right. They-

    20. JR

      ... they don't play that game.

    21. AS

      Right.

    22. JR

      Because they know-

    23. AS

      Game doesn't exist.

    24. JR

      Dude, I can just walk down the street-

    25. AS

      Right.

    26. JR

      ... like a Bodega in New York. They're everywhere.

    27. AS

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      And just find a woman.

    29. AS

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      So this like, "I'll make him wait, and that way..." It's like, shut up with that.

  10. 23:56 – 25:47

    Drinking PSA: “coasting,” shot culture, and how nights go off the rails

    1. AS

      Well, conversations. People didn't talk about this shit when we were kids.

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. AS

      You had to figure it out on your own.

    4. JR

      It's so casual now.

    5. AS

      Dude, nobody taught you about jerking off. Nobody taught you about drinking.

    6. JR

      Nope. Nope.

    7. AS

      Nobody taught you what to do in a relationship. Those are the three most confusing fucking things to happen to you.

    8. JR

      And you're just guessing?

    9. AS

      Yeah, guessing.

    10. JR

      Can I make a PSA real quick-

    11. AS

      Please.

    12. JR

      ... for all the children who are gonna start drinking? Uh, your parents are never gonna teach you about alcohol use. Uh, there's a thing called coasting. When you have a few drinks, you can switch to water if you're feeling drunk. You're gonna throw up if you keep drinking like a child. But you're a child, right? So you don't get how to do it yet. You gotta coast; one water, one beer, one water-

    13. AS

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      ... one beer.

    15. AS

      Here's the thing, don't-

    16. JR

      And then you'll have a great time.

    17. AS

      Don't have too many. Don't have, if you're gonna drink, and I, I don't advise anyone under 21 to drink, 'cause that's illegal. But if I was gonna-

    18. JR

      (sighs)

    19. AS

      ... advise them, I would say have two drinks.

    20. JR

      How-

    21. AS

      Don't have more than two. Two will fuck you up, man.

    22. JR

      Okay-

    23. AS

      Don't, d- don't be that guy.

    24. JR

      ... I'm gonna take the opposite stance on that. You're for sure gonna get drunk. But just-

    25. AS

      Yeah, but two will fuck you up.

    26. JR

      ... limit it to drunk. Two?

    27. AS

      If you're 16 years old-

    28. JR

      Maybe 16. I'm talking about 18 or 19.

    29. AS

      Two shots of Jack Daniels will put you in a fucking, a goofy mood.

    30. JR

      I would say, wherever you're at, if you're feeling good, just stop for a while.

  11. 25:47 – 35:16

    Ari’s ‘Jew’ special: choosing the Skirball, Edinburgh theme-hours, and comedy becoming “dangerous” again

    1. JR

      Um, can I ask my special?

    2. AS

      Fuck, yeah.

    3. JR

      I'm finally doing my special.

    4. AS

      Yes.

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. AS

      And which, which theater did you choose?

    7. JR

      The Skirball Center in New York.

    8. AS

      Yes.

    9. JR

      We talked a lot about it.

    10. AS

      Yes. I'm so glad.

    11. JR

      Yeah.

    12. AS

      The back... 'Cause tell everybody the whole j- the whole, you went on a little journey there trying to figure out where to do it.

    13. JR

      Yeah, yeah, trying to find a venue.

    14. AS

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      I went, I was... It's a lot about Judaism, my upbringing, you know? Fucking do that comedy club funny, be done with that shit.

    16. AS

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      You know? So, that's what I've been working on for a while.

    18. AS

      Yeah, it's been a couple years, right?

    19. JR

      It's been a co- the longest one, two and a half years?

    20. AS

      Mm.

    21. JR

      Um...

    22. AS

      But it's also the first one that you did like, a theme. And it's essentially, so what you did was like... There's a lot of guys who do that. I've never been to Edinburgh, but that festival-

    23. JR

      I've been to it.

    24. AS

      ... is like, that's how it is, right?

    25. JR

      It's the best. Oh, my God, it's so much fun.

    26. AS

      And it's like, a lot of people who do themes-

    27. JR

      Yeah, yeah.

    28. AS

      ... they come in. So you decided to do a theme, but to do this theme with American-style standup.

    29. JR

      Yeah, that's exactly it, dude. Yeah, (laughs) that's exactly it.

    30. AS

      Hmm.

  12. 35:16 – 45:51

    Troll economy: one-star Peter Luger reviews, getting baited into anger, and country-name trivia to Borat/Ali G

    1. AS

      You know what I love looking at? Yelp reviews, when I find someone that has like a one star for a restaurant that I know is good.

    2. JR

      Uh-huh.

    3. AS

      I'm like, "What? One star?" And then I'll read their review, I'm like, "Let me check out this dude's profile." (laughs)

    4. JR

      (laughs) It's full of hate.

    5. AS

      Full of hate.

    6. JR

      Oh my God. He hates everything.

    7. AS

      Everything sucks. Everything sucks. Every waiter is rude. Every fucking food is cold.

    8. JR

      White House, more like the Off-White House. Wash it.

    9. AS

      Some people are just twats.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. AS

      They're just ... You know, did you see that New York Times review they gave, um, uh, the fucking Brooklyn Steakhouse that we love? What the hell's it called? Peter Luger's. They gave Peter Luger's one star.

    12. JR

      One star.

    13. AS

      That ... Remember, we just went there.

    14. JR

      Yeah. It was great.

    15. AS

      How ... It was fucking amazing.

    16. JR

      Oh my God. With the sizzling plate.

    17. AS

      It's amazing.... dude.

    18. JR

      Those, those potatoes.

    19. AS

      They gave it one star. It's-

    20. JR

      I kid you not. Come on.

    21. AS

      ... the-

    22. JR

      Three stars and you're like, "Well, maybe something happened." I don't know.

    23. AS

      But it's smart. Because look, if you're a provocateur/journalist, and y- I know how much you love trolls-

    24. JR

      Yeah, I do love trolls.

    25. AS

      ... that's what that guy did.

    26. JR

      (laughs) Yeah.

    27. AS

      He took, like, one of the most delicious restaurants of all time-

    28. JR

      Hmm.

    29. AS

      ... and he made a one-star rating. It's either that or he's a moron. So, either he's really clever-

    30. JR

      I kinda-

  13. 45:51 – 52:41

    Cult comedies, prank TV, and movie-risk nostalgia (Freddy Got Fingered, Tom Green, Jamie Kennedy)

    1. AS

      There's a dog licking his balls. This is ridiculous.

    2. JR

      Oh, this is fun. You ever see, um-

    3. AS

      Very good sh-

    4. JR

      ... Tom Green's shitty al- amazing movie?

    5. AS

      Yes. Yeah.

    6. JR

      Uh, Freddy Got Fingered?

    7. AS

      Yeah. Dude-

    8. JR

      Oh God, that was funny.

    9. AS

      There's some funny moments in that movie, yeah.

    10. JR

      They call that the worst... There was another one star movie, they call that the worst movie of all time.

    11. AS

      Never once g-

    12. JR

      And then you finally watch it, and you're like, "This is legitimately funny."

    13. AS

      It's funny shit.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. AS

      Funny shit.

    16. JR

      So like, real laughs.

    17. AS

      That's another one if you watch it today, you'd be laughing hard.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. AS

      Especially if you're a stoner. Remember when the baby was on the umbilical cord-

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. AS

      ... swinging it around the room? (laughs)

    22. JR

      At the end he like lands at his house-

    23. AS

      What the fuck?

    24. JR

      ... in like the desert somewhere.

    25. AS

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      It's like, it- it kind of should already be over, and it's like he's still going. And then everyone's greeting him. Him and his dad, uh, like Rip Torn or somebody, they're greeting him. And one of the signs says, "Why is this movie still going?" (laughs)

    27. AS

      (laughs)

    28. JR

      This whole fucking show was crazy.

    29. AS

      That show was amazing.

    30. JR

      Goddamn.

  14. 52:41 – 59:51

    Time-loop rabbit holes, lifelong growth, Bourdain’s late-life jiu-jitsu, and the Myanmar foot-volleyball ball

    1. JR

      I've been on rabbit holes for YouTube, I've been on a rabbit hole of, um, Groundhog Day. It's like the same thing, like living the same day over and over again.

    2. AS

      Right.

    3. JR

      And one of them was how long did Bill Murray spend day after day? Like what was the total amount of time?

    4. AS

      What was the total amount of time?

    5. JR

      They think it's around, 'cause they were like, it's death, he had to do it this many times.

    6. AS

      Right.

    7. JR

      It's, you know, bowling a perfect game, all these different things.

    8. AS

      Right.

    9. JR

      They said about 30 years.

    10. AS

      Whoa.

    11. JR

      Of living the same day over and over again.

    12. AS

      You know what I always used to think?

    13. JR

      Yeah. And then you would do everything.

    14. AS

      Yeah, as I was getting older, one of the things I have thought is like, why do, why do I have this expectation that at some point in time, a person stops learning and growing? Like, I never expected people in their 60s like being better people and learning more-

    15. JR

      Like, they're done.

    16. AS

      ... and, and, yeah, they're done. Whoever that guy is, he's done.

    17. JR

      'Cause people do stop.

    18. AS

      Right, but, but, but why?

    19. JR

      Yeah, why?

    20. AS

      So my thought was like, why do I have these expectations for people instead of just being open minded? I almost assume that-

    21. JR

      That they're not trying anything new.

    22. AS

      ... when people hit a certain age, they're fucking done. They, they throw in the towel. But I, but I see-

    23. JR

      But you do meet some people who don't do that, right? Who are like taking an art class.

    24. AS

      100%.

    25. JR

      Somebody's mom or grandmother-

    26. AS

      100%.

    27. JR

      ... that's like, "Oh, I'm, I'm learning archery." And it's like, well, that's cool.

    28. AS

      When Bourdain was 58 and he started getting seriously fucking into jujitsu, like seriously-

    29. JR

      Wow.

    30. AS

      ... into jujitsu, I was like, "Look at you, motherfucker, I love it."

  15. 59:51 – 1:00:46

    How comics build specials, Attell/Hicks/Jeni debates, money vs happiness—and ending on doping fallout and BMI jokes

    1. JR

      When are you doing your next special?

    2. AS

      I don't think I'm thinking about it.

    3. JR

      Good.

    4. AS

      I'm, right now, just riding.

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. AS

      Just enjoying performing.And, uh, when I get the- the bug, when it feels like, "Hmm, this isn't there," I wanna ... You know, I was thinking about ... I- I actually talked about this with Malcolm Gladwell in the last podcast. I was talk- I was quoting Jeselnik. Jeselnik, he has a three-year process. He does it in the clubs, just around LA, develops an hour.

    7. JR

      Workout rooms.

    8. AS

      Then he takes it on the road for, in clubs, and then he takes in on the road the next year in theaters. So it's a three-year process. Like, that might be the way to go.

    9. JR

      Yeah, Louis had that with ... But not in the three-year, just like in the ... when he was doing them, like, you know-

    10. AS

      He was doing them one year.

    11. JR

      ... three months, four months, four months.

    12. AS

      Yeah, he was doing, he was doing a new special in a year.

    13. JR

      Yeah.

    14. AS

      Which I guess you could if that's all you did and you just really dug into it, but I think things need time to cook.

    15. JR

      Also, I find there's sometimes where it's like, I watch Attell a lot in New York.

Episode duration: 2:46:46

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