Joe Rogan Experience #1384 - Ari Shaffir

Joe Rogan 0:00 ... doesn't matter, but yeah.

Ari Shaffir 0:02 Sorry.

Joe Rogan 0:02 (laughs) Well, that one never got repeated in podcast history.

Ari Shaffir 0:05 Well, we fucked that up.

Joe Rogan 0:06 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 0:06 We thought we were recording, we were saying how Bert is the only person we know who's both funny and a great promoter. Like, usually you get one or the other. You get someone who's really funny-

Joe Rogan 0:15 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 0:15 But we were talking about Bert's, uh, v... We thought, "Oh, this is being recorded."

Joe Rogan 0:18 Oh, it would've been so much better if they got that natural thing.

Ari Shaffir 0:20 If the audio is being recorded the whole time. Oh.

Joe Rogan 0:21 Just that video, so I can leave that in the MP3, everybody can download that beginning part. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 0:25 Oh, okay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:26 All right. Give it to one of those cartoonists and make them make the video.

Ari Shaffir 0:28 I just fucked it up. Well, for everybody do... The audio, we're gonna stop now. We're gonna double repeat ourselves.

Joe Rogan 0:32 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 0:33 So, a bunch of people... Bert used to have a show called Bert... Hurt Bert, and that one disturbed me the most 'cause-

Joe Rogan 0:39 I don't remember this one at all.

Ari Shaffir 0:40 Hurt Bert, he would do a bunch of stupid shit and get injured.

Joe Rogan 0:43 But he's really getting hurt.

Ari Shaffir 0:44 (laughs) That's what... He's doing jujitsu with some kid, and some, uh, red belt kid who's with, uh, Hellson Gr... Oh, Rorion Gracie. Um-

Joe Rogan 0:52 He really... That, that...

Ari Shaffir 0:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:54 When he was that young, he really reminds me of that frat guy.

Ari Shaffir 0:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:57 That he was. I can't really see it now, but this is him, like, four years removed from that. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 1:01 This guy keeps arm barring him, he doesn't know what to do here. I think-

Joe Rogan 1:03 (laughs) Kid is 108 pounds.

Ari Shaffir 1:06 I think part of it, he's also going along with it, enjoying-

Joe Rogan 1:09 He's about to take the offensive. Fuck that.

Ari Shaffir 1:11 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:11 This kid'll never see it. He's played duck twice, or possum twice. Now he's just rushing.

Ari Shaffir 1:15 How about that video that I showed you, that Bridget Phetasy showed me? It's a video of this guy who's on a school bus, and they're just-

Joe Rogan 1:23 And this, it starts with the bus driver throwing a little kid off.

Ari Shaffir 1:25 Throwing a little, a little kid off the school bus, screaming at him, and then a bunch of people are like, "What the fuck are you doing, man? You can't do that."

Joe Rogan 1:30 They chase him back onto the bus, they sh-

Ari Shaffir 1:31 The, the bus driver gets back on the bus, and then they check the little kid.

Joe Rogan 1:35 He does not feel remorseful.

Ari Shaffir 1:35 "Are you okay?" And they realize, this little kid with, like, a lunchbox and everything-

Joe Rogan 1:38 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 1:38 ... is actually a grown midget.

Joe Rogan 1:40 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 1:41 And he's pretending that he's a little kid, hanging out with these little kids, and the bus driver found it.

Joe Rogan 1:46 (laughs) Dude, the look on everybody's face when, like, when they say, "Wait, he's not a kid?" And then all of... Oh, I was mad.

Ari Shaffir 1:51 Yeah. S- see, like, he's got the lunchbox.

Joe Rogan 1:53 Now I'm confused.

Ari Shaffir 1:53 He throws out his lunchbox and then he grabs him.

Joe Rogan 1:56 He throws him?

Ari Shaffir 1:57 Yeah.

Guest 1:58 Get off the bus, Joey!

Ari Shaffir 1:58 It's crazy.

Guest 1:59 Oh, my gosh, who does that to my son?

Ari Shaffir 2:01 'Cause he's got a little kid's backpack.

Joe Rogan 2:02 And then I'm like, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Ari Shaffir 2:03 People ready to beat his ass.

Joe Rogan 2:04 Beat the bus driver's ass. They saw him chuck off a little kid.

Ari Shaffir 2:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:08 That's a five-year-old's body.

Guest 2:10 Oh, my God!

Ari Shaffir 2:10 People ready to fuck him up.

Joe Rogan 2:11 She's calling the cops.

Ari Shaffir 2:12 Yeah. And then they get to him to see, "Hey, are you okay?" Now watch this.

Guest 2:18 What's going on? What?

Joe Rogan 2:22 They go...

Guest 2:22 Is that a kid?

Joe Rogan 2:23 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 2:23 (laughs)

Guest 2:23 He's a grown-ass man. He's a grown-ass man.

Ari Shaffir 2:24 That's a grown-ass man.

Joe Rogan 2:24 He's hurt?

Ari Shaffir 2:24 So that dude was pretending to be-

Joe Rogan 2:26 Now everybody's confused.

Ari Shaffir 2:27 ... a little kid.

Joe Rogan 2:27 Look how confused they all are, like, "I don't... I was mad before, I don't know-"

Ari Shaffir 2:31 So confused.

Joe Rogan 2:32 "... what to think now."

Ari Shaffir 2:33 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 2:34 (laughs) They just look like they just saw David Blaine.

Ari Shaffir 2:36 That's crazy. Why did we bring that up?

Joe Rogan 2:39 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 2:39 Why were we talking about that?

Joe Rogan 2:41 That's a great question.

Ari Shaffir 2:42 That has nothing to do with Bert, though.

Joe Rogan 2:42 It has something to do with Bert, but I don't know what that was.

Ari Shaffir 2:44 No. What does it have to do with R- with Bert?

Joe Rogan 2:45 It's what else we were talk-

Guest 2:47 He hurt a kid?

Ari Shaffir 2:47 Oh, no, no, no, no.

Joe Rogan 2:49 A kid, a kid was beating up Bert in jujitsu.

Ari Shaffir 2:52 I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember what it was.

Joe Rogan 2:53 Welcome to November. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 2:54 Yeah, this is, uh, not sober November.

Joe Rogan 2:57 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 2:57 Nobermember, November. I definitely don't remember what the fuck we were talking about. Dude, you're, uh, you're on an iPhone now. Tell me what that's been like.

Joe Rogan 3:05 Okay. It's been pretty interesting.

Ari Shaffir 3:06 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 3:07 So I've set myself an October to see if I can fucking do it again. You told me about that app that's on the thing.

Ari Shaffir 3:12 Mm-hmm. Limits your screen time.

Joe Rogan 3:14 Limits your screen time.

Ari Shaffir 3:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:16 You have that for your kids.

Ari Shaffir 3:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:18 Um, yeah. That's what I was looking for. Like, five, six years ago, there was nothing. It would just give you alarms.

Ari Shaffir 3:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 3:24 And you could snooze it.

Ari Shaffir 3:24 Not good enough.

Joe Rogan 3:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 3:26 Yeah. You know, it's sort of like, remember when we had to do those 15 yoga classes?

Joe Rogan 3:30 Uh-huh.

Ari Shaffir 3:30 Like, you had to do it. So because you had to do it, you just fucking knew you were gonna do it. The wishy-washiness was gone.

Joe Rogan 3:38 Of what?

Ari Shaffir 3:39 The wishy-washiness. "I don't have to do this, I can back off."

Joe Rogan 3:41 Right.

Ari Shaffir 3:41 "I can just... I'm kinda tired anyway, let me take the day off." That, all that shit was gone. You couldn't do that.

Joe Rogan 3:46 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 3:46 That's sort of the same thing with that app. Because you could always say, "I'm not gonna use my phone much."

Joe Rogan 3:50 Right. Fuck that.

Ari Shaffir 3:51 Like, what does that mean?

Joe Rogan 3:52 Dude, I'm an observer of the other people on their phones. Everyone who says that is on all the time.

Ari Shaffir 3:56 Yeah. It's so easy to be on. And you could... With me, I found myself just reading Google News stories for no reason.

Joe Rogan 4:03 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:03 Just looking up... And a lot of them aren't even, like, interesting. It's like, "Oh, this car sold for this much money." Or, "Oh, you know..."

Joe Rogan 4:09 And you're just like-

Ari Shaffir 4:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:10 ... wasting time.

Ari Shaffir 4:11 Wasting time.

Joe Rogan 4:12 Time you could be bored.

Ari Shaffir 4:13 But I'm, I'm lying to myself, 'cause I'm always thinking that I'm gonna, "Oh, but there's material in this. I'm gonna find a story that's really funny."

Joe Rogan 4:21 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:21 But you... Those kinda you find out anyway. You know what I'm saying? Like, you...

Joe Rogan 4:26 Or-

Ari Shaffir 4:26 People force, uh, you know... Uh, really good ones, like the, that guy getting thrown off the bus. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:31 Yeah. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:32 That one's gonna get to you.

Joe Rogan 4:33 It finds you, the way that the horse thing would've got to you-

Ari Shaffir 4:35 It's gonna get to you. Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:35 ... you know, years before the internet.

Ari Shaffir 4:36 Yes. The horse one got to us. Well, the internet was around, but it was years before social media.

Joe Rogan 4:40 What was your joke? I win. Ha ha. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 4:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:44 You've done that on special, right?

Ari Shaffir 4:45 No, no. That's ne-

Joe Rogan 4:46 What?

Ari Shaffir 4:46 That joke's never been on special.

Joe Rogan 4:47 What?

Ari Shaffir 4:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:49 Why?

Ari Shaffir 4:50 Um, C- Comedy Central said it was too rough.

Joe Rogan 4:52 Uh, it's pretty rough, but... (laughs) I wouldn't say too, but...

Ari Shaffir 4:55 (laughs) Maybe I could revive it.

Joe Rogan 4:56 Oh my God.

Ari Shaffir 4:57 I should probably revive it.

Joe Rogan 4:57 But you're just... But couch, the early days of the internet were like this.

Ari Shaffir 5:00 Yeah. Yeah, well it, it was a true story too.

Joe Rogan 5:03 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 5:03 I did have a friend of mine that I'd go back and forth with. He was so fucking... (laughs) He was one of those dudes that just knows everything that's fucked up. Like, he can find all the video, the Budd Dwyer video, you know, he was one of those guys. And he would send me this video, it's like, "Batter's up." And, uh, I would be like, "Batter up? What the fuck is this?" I open up the email and it's, uh, that porn star with a baseball bat up her ass.

Joe Rogan 5:24 (laughs) Belladonna?

Ari Shaffir 5:25 Yes. It was her. And I was like, "Jesus Christ." A- and then, you know, and then it, I... We would go back and forth. I would send him something fucked up, he would send me something fucked up.

Joe Rogan 5:35 (laughs) The baseball bat was surprising.

Ari Shaffir 5:37 Batter nowhere. Batter up.

Joe Rogan 5:39 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 5:39 I was like, "What is this?" I'm like, "Oh my God, how? How?"

Joe Rogan 5:44 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 5:44 That poor girl's asshole must be a wreck.

Joe Rogan 5:47 Dude, interesting fact about Belladonna, that first storytelling show we ever did at The Improv, 12 people were there, and she was one of them.

Ari Shaffir 5:52 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 5:53 Well.

Ari Shaffir 5:53 She used to go to the comedy store.

Joe Rogan 5:54 No, she was cool.

Ari Shaffir 5:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:56 ... um, yeah, it was crazy.

Ari Shaffir 5:59 They offered me some gaping porn. They had some, uh, DVDs they were giving away. I'm like, "I'm good, man. Thanks."

Joe Rogan 6:04 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 6:04 The guy was like, "Why didn't you take it?" I was like, "Hey man, it's not a disrespectful thing. It's just, uh-"

Joe Rogan 6:09 It's not my thing.

Ari Shaffir 6:09 "... I'm not into your art."

Joe Rogan 6:10 Also, I'm afraid I gotta go down this l- this line, tell her husband.

Ari Shaffir 6:13 This, this wh- when, like, gaping porn is the weirdest shit ever, 'cause th- it's people wanna look inside people's bodies. You wanna look in the hole. They want the hole to be gaping.

Joe Rogan 6:23 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 6:23 That's like a s- that's a style of porn.

Joe Rogan 6:25 And-

Ari Shaffir 6:25 Gaping.

Joe Rogan 6:25 And why the drip out? You ever see the drip out at the end? Like, why is it still recording?

Ari Shaffir 6:30 (sighs) Fuck yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:30 And they sh- the close-up. You know what I'm talking about.

Ari Shaffir 6:33 Close-up.

Guest 6:33 What do I know?

Ari Shaffir 6:34 They jizz close up.

Joe Rogan 6:34 They close a vagina and wait for the jizz to come out.

Ari Shaffir 6:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:37 I, I, I agree with that face.

Ari Shaffir 6:38 Yeah, like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:40 (laughs) Yeah.

Guest 6:40 Mm.

Joe Rogan 6:40 It's not for me. I don't know why it's still on the video.

Ari Shaffir 6:42 Some people like it. People like weird shit, right? People like feet. They like, they like everything. And some, but-

Joe Rogan 6:48 Someone likes everything.

Ari Shaffir 6:48 ... what's really weird is that s- some things that some people would hate, other people love.

Joe Rogan 6:54 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 6:55 You know?

Joe Rogan 6:56 With food too and movies and shit like that. But yeah, for sure porn.

Ari Shaffir 6:59 Like, intelligent, in- intelligent, well-respected woman, all right? I won't, I won't bring up her name, was, uh, on stage talking about how she likes taking loads in the face. Now, she might've been saying this as a joke, but it might've been true.

Joe Rogan 7:10 Yeah. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 7:10 Some people just like-

Joe Rogan 7:11 Love it.

Ari Shaffir 7:12 ... like, some girls like that, right? That's why it's ... Or, or is it guys like it and that's why it's a thing? Or girls pretend they like it so the guys do it? But for s- some girls would be like, "Fuck that! Get that away from me!" Other people would love it. That's what's weird about humans.

Joe Rogan 7:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 7:26 Right? There's so many people that are-

Joe Rogan 7:28 (coughs)

Ari Shaffir 7:28 ... into such weird shit.

Joe Rogan 7:30 I spit on a vagina once.

Ari Shaffir 7:32 Ew.

Joe Rogan 7:32 Well, it was whatever. And uh, and the girl-

Ari Shaffir 7:35 She mad, get mad at you?

Joe Rogan 7:35 ... (laughs) she didn't like it. She was like, "Did you spit on my vagina?"

Ari Shaffir 7:37 (laughs)

Guest 7:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:39 (laughs) I was just like, "Yeah."

Ari Shaffir 7:40 Sometimes with that accent it's even worse.

Joe Rogan 7:42 Yeah. She goes, "Oh, I didn't like that!" I'm like, "All right, well, I won't do it again." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 7:44 So ... Wow.

Joe Rogan 7:45 I don't know. And she goes, "All right."

Ari Shaffir 7:46 But a guy would get mad if a girl spit on his dick? I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 7:49 No, they might be like, "Mm."

Guest 7:51 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 7:51 They'd just shift away.

Ari Shaffir 7:52 But s- but maybe if you were, like, having a really hard time staying hard anyway, because she's, you know, she's intimidating you. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:59 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 7:59 And you're (laughs) barely hanging in there and then she spits on your dick, you're like, "Hey, what the hell?"

Joe Rogan 8:04 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 8:04 You might lose your boner.

Joe Rogan 8:05 What if it's like real k- yeah. A f- a full gagger right away.

Ari Shaffir 8:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:09 You're kissing and then-

Ari Shaffir 8:09 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 8:10 ... (gags) is the next step.

Guest 8:11 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 8:11 And you're like, "Whoa!"

Ari Shaffir 8:12 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 8:12 "Slow down."

Ari Shaffir 8:13 "Slow the fuck down."

Guest 8:14 Was this type of porn (clears throat) inevitable? Or like-

Ari Shaffir 8:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:17 Yeah, of course.

Guest 8:18 ... if Larry Flynt never did the Hustler stuff and never went through all the court cases, would-

Ari Shaffir 8:21 It's a human thing, man.

Guest 8:23 ... it have never happened?

Joe Rogan 8:23 Would've happened in, in a hundred years.

Ari Shaffir 8:24 Yeah, those Larry Flynt guys are important. That they helped move the needle, for sure. No doubt. I mean, that guy took a bullet for f- the freedom of expression.

Joe Rogan 8:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 8:33 Whether you like porn or not, we've all jerked off to it. And if you say you didn't, you're a hypocrite.

Guest 8:37 I'm mean, I'm not listening.

Joe Rogan 8:37 No way. Just a liar.

Ari Shaffir 8:39 Not listening. Yeah.

Guest 8:39 Where he like crossed the line that was, that existed then, like, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 8:42 Yes, he fra- he certainly did. But my point is, I think that there was a l- there w- like, they had already done Deep Throat before Hustler, right? Wasn't Deep Throat ... When was Deep Throat ...

Joe Rogan 8:50 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 8:50 Deep Throat was a porn film that people went to see like a regular film. It was like a movie.

Joe Rogan 8:56 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 8:56 It was-

Joe Rogan 8:57 X.

Guest 8:57 Same time, wasn't it also a nickna- like a code name for s- for someone, like, the military thing-

Ari Shaffir 9:01 Yes, but that's po-

Guest 9:01 ... but like-

Ari Shaffir 9:02 No, no, no. That's post.

Guest 9:03 Okay, because of-

Ari Shaffir 9:03 That's during Watergate. Well, that was one of the insiders in Watergate, and their nickname was Deep Throat. But that was because the movie had already been out.

Guest 9:12 '72 ...

Joe Rogan 9:13 They named one of the Nixon W- Watergate people-

Ari Shaffir 9:15 Deep Throat, yes, yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 9:17 ... after a porno? (laughs)

Guest 9:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:18 I never realized that.

Ari Shaffir 9:18 Yeah, Deep Throat was the person who was-

Joe Rogan 9:19 Were they just having fun?

Ari Shaffir 9:20 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Joe Rogan 9:22 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 9:22 The fucking ... Look man, those CIA people or whoever the fuck was involved with all that stuff, SB- FBI-

Joe Rogan 9:27 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 9:28 ... they're, they're ... A lot of them are bros.

Joe Rogan 9:30 Yeah, do you think one guy's like, "I caught a drug dealer-"

Ari Shaffir 9:31 They're like this intelligent bros.

Joe Rogan 9:32 And the next guy's like, "Oh, really? Because I went to someone who's running for president and I broke into that fucking office, dude."

Ari Shaffir 9:38 Yeah. Right, yeah, sure.

Joe Rogan 9:38 Like, "What?"

Ari Shaffir 9:39 I'm sure. I'm sure there's some in that, some of that. There's, they're, a lot of ... I mean, they're like cops.

Joe Rogan 9:44 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 9:44 Or like, uh, military people. You know? They're like ... A lot of them are just men, guys' guys, men. They probably watch porn.

Joe Rogan 9:52 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 9:52 They probably know who Deep Throat is. They ... You know, if you're working for like one of the biggest police ... I mean, it's essentially like a police organization.

Joe Rogan 9:59 None of them majored in English with a focus on Shakespeare.

Ari Shaffir 10:01 Yeah. FBI's law enforcement, right?

Joe Rogan 10:04 Yeah. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 10:04 I mean, that's what it is. They're-

Joe Rogan 10:05 (laughs) It's jocks.

Ari Shaffir 10:06 (laughs) Yeah, they're bros. A lot of them are bros.

Guest 10:07 Of course they're gonna brag.

Ari Shaffir 10:08 Not, not disrespecting it at all.

Joe Rogan 10:10 Deep Throat. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 10:11 But that's why they would call it Deep Throat.

Joe Rogan 10:12 Oh yeah, it's a nice nickname, bro.

Ari Shaffir 10:13 Like, if it's, if it's a group, group of women that are, you know, from, um, University of, uh, Massachusetts Amherst-

Joe Rogan 10:19 Yeah, they'll call it y- uh, fucking Yarning.

Ari Shaffir 10:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:22 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 10:22 They're definitely not gonna call it Deep Throat.

Joe Rogan 10:24 Yeah. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 10:25 That would be, uh, contributing to the patriarchy.

Joe Rogan 10:27 Manic Panic.

Ari Shaffir 10:29 But that movie was in '72. So, uh, when did Hustler start?

Guest 10:32 Hustler was around '75, '76.

Ari Shaffir 10:35 Are you a aficionado? Do you-

Guest 10:36 Well, I'm a member of the list.

Joe Rogan 10:37 (laughs)

Guest 10:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:37 (laughs)

Guest 10:37 Because of the ... I talked to you about it last week.

Joe Rogan 10:39 It's the first one that I have in my collection, yeah.

Guest 10:41 With the, with the Kevin Smith this year. Remember, like, that's the ... Larry Flynt started it in Columbus, that first headquarters where we're-

Joe Rogan 10:45 Oh, that's right, that's right.

Guest 10:46 ... in Ohio.

Ari Shaffir 10:47 That's right. Yeah, man. Um, I had to go to the Hustler office once.

Joe Rogan 10:51 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 10:52 To review porn. There was like an article that they were doing where you review porn. It was so weird. It was like the weirdest thing. They ... I, I forget is like early in the days of the internet, right? Like more than 20 plus years ago.

Joe Rogan 11:07 And they're like trying to figure everything out. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 11:08 Yeah, they were just trying to figure things out and tr- try things out.

Joe Rogan 11:11 So you watched a porno over there with them watching it?

Ari Shaffir 11:13 I don't remember. I don't remember what it was. I think I was reviewing magazines. I was reviewing porn magazines. I'm trying to r- b- I think that was what it was. Or maybe they showed me a little of the porn or they showed me the magazine. I don't remember what it was. Didn't even-

Guest 11:24 It h- same time. Hustler started the same year, uh, Nixon ended, '74.

Ari Shaffir 11:29 Mm.

Guest 11:29 And the first Deep Throat was '72, so it's all the same-

Ari Shaffir 11:31 Yeah, so that's exactly where it came from.

Guest 11:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Didn't you and Stanhope, and Stanhope's mom review boobs or something?

Ari Shaffir 11:37 Yes. Stanhope's mom reviewed porn on the Man Show.

Joe Rogan 11:40 That was it.

Ari Shaffir 11:41 Yeah, that's what it was.

Joe Rogan 11:42 Yes.

Ari Shaffir 11:42 Stanhope's mom would watch porn and give these fucking hilarious reviews of it. It was one of the best things we did.... it was really, her, his mom was really funny too.

Joe Rogan 11:50 Really?

Ari Shaffir 11:50 She's like Hinchcliffe's mom. You've seen Hinchcliffe's mom do stand-

Joe Rogan 11:52 Uh-huh.

Ari Shaffir 11:53 Dude.

Joe Rogan 11:53 She did stand-up? What?

Ari Shaffir 11:54 Hinchcliffe's mom did stand-up. He wrote the bits for her and she did 'em. She had cue cards, she did it at Kill Tony, f- packed main room and fucking murdered.

Joe Rogan 12:02 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:02 I'm telling you, dude, she killed. And one of 'em, she got me with a zinger, I forget what it was, but it was funny.

Joe Rogan 12:07 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:07 It was all shit that Tony wrote. It was funny shit, man.

Joe Rogan 12:10 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:10 And she did it with, like, authority. Like, she hit the punchlines like he coached her.

Joe Rogan 12:14 Oh, really?

Ari Shaffir 12:15 Yeah, yeah, it was great.

Joe Rogan 12:16 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:16 It was great.

Joe Rogan 12:17 (laughs) Funny.

Ari Shaffir 12:18 She had never done anything like that before, and here she murdered at her son's show.

Joe Rogan 12:22 That's funny.

Ari Shaffir 12:22 And he brings her up as his mom. There it is right now, there's his mom. Okay, that's c- so-

Guest 12:27 Dom Irrera!

Ari Shaffir 12:27 ... yeah it is. She's amazing. I'm telling you, dude, she fucking murdered it. Look at her.

Joe Rogan 12:31 She's taller than him.

Ari Shaffir 12:32 Dude, she... (laughs)

Guest 12:34 I'm Dom Irrera, everybody!

12:36 How dare you?

Joe Rogan 12:37 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:37 (laughs)

Guest 12:37 How dare you?

Joe Rogan 12:37 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:37 She was really good, man.

Joe Rogan 12:39 Wow, that's cool.

Ari Shaffir 12:40 I don't, we don't play any of it 'cause it's their stuff, but, uh, w- people can see it. What's the video?

Guest 12:44 Uh, Kill Tony five-year anniversary, episode 273.

Ari Shaffir 12:47 So it was Dom Irrera, who's the best at those things.

Joe Rogan 12:50 He's so quick.

Ari Shaffir 12:51 He's the best. No one's better than Dom at those, uh, r- roast shows.

Joe Rogan 12:56 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 12:56 Talking shit, or like, something like Kill Tony where a guy does a one minute of terrible comedy and he gets to chime in. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:02 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 13:03 He's just a master at dissecting people ironically.

Joe Rogan 13:07 Have you ever seen him do his open mic character?

Ari Shaffir 13:10 Oh, yeah, I've seen-

Joe Rogan 13:10 Arrow?

Ari Shaffir 13:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:10 Is it Arrow? Razor?

Ari Shaffir 13:12 (laughs) What is it? I don't know.

Joe Rogan 13:13 It's something like that. Oh, he does it so good. He's so nervous.

Ari Shaffir 13:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:17 If you interrupt him, he has to back up and start from the scratch-

Ari Shaffir 13:19 Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:19 ... from the beginning, like, over and over again. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 13:22 He's so good on Kill Tony, he should be a regular. He really should. He should be on-

Joe Rogan 13:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 13:25 ... ev- every episode. He should be on every episode, and then whoever the guest is on top of it. He's just so good. He's just s- so good at talking shit to people when they do terrible things, and doing it in a way where you can't even be mad at him. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:40 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 13:40 What were you gonna say?

Guest 13:41 So were you watching, uh, last night's new episode of Kill Tony?

Ari Shaffir 13:43 No, I didn't see it.

Joe Rogan 13:44 No.

Ari Shaffir 13:44 Why?

Guest 13:44 Oh, you'll have to watch it when it comes out. Like, Ari was on yesterday.

Joe Rogan 13:48 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 13:48 Oh, was it good? Was something-

Guest 13:49 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 13:50 ... a little off?

Joe Rogan 13:50 Just did a walk-on.

Guest 13:50 It was great. He got a standing ovation, I think. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 13:52 Thank you. That's what I do, I get standing O's.

Ari Shaffir 13:54 Wow, dude. You're an animal.

Joe Rogan 13:55 (laughs) I just came out naked.

Ari Shaffir 13:58 Oh, you came on naked?

Joe Rogan 13:59 Just popped out from behind and did some comics.

Ari Shaffir 14:00 Oh. How's that work for YouTube? They have to blur out your cock and balls?

Joe Rogan 14:03 I don't know, that's something they should deal with.

Ari Shaffir 14:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:05 I'm just there for the live show.

Ari Shaffir 14:06 It should be. They should have, like a little, a little b- like-

Joe Rogan 14:09 A button you can p- post-

Ari Shaffir 14:09 ... a little blurry thing that could-

Joe Rogan 14:11 Uh-huh?

Ari Shaffir 14:11 ... bounce around your cock. Why doesn't YouTube put that in their tools?

Joe Rogan 14:14 You c- honestly, a setting at this point, on the YouTube, just so if you see a cock, blur it out.

Ari Shaffir 14:18 Did you see the new release that said something, and maybe this is people freaking out for no reason, maybe it's not.

Joe Rogan 14:23 Skipped over what it said.

Ari Shaffir 14:24 People were freaking out about some new, uh, terms that they have where they can get rid of any channel that they don't think is commercially viable. Is that the quote?

Joe Rogan 14:34 What?

Guest 14:35 I, they did update their terms of service, but I don't, I, I haven't looked into this, I'm just going off of, uh, what I think. I don't know that that's, like, new in the terms.

Ari Shaffir 14:44 Oh, so it might've already happened.

Guest 14:45 I think that they might've always been able to do that.

Ari Shaffir 14:46 Have you heard any of that?

Guest 14:46 Like, Facebook can delete your thing.

Ari Shaffir 14:48 Hmm.

Guest 14:48 I think Twitter can delete your account.

Ari Shaffir 14:49 Right.

Guest 14:49 I think that's kind of in all of them.

Ari Shaffir 14:50 So they always have the ability to tell you to fuck off.

Joe Rogan 14:53 You can't delete your own account?

Ari Shaffir 14:55 But they can delete yours.

Joe Rogan 14:56 Ugh.

Guest 14:58 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 14:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:58 I mean, come on, dude. They run the fucking world at this point.

Ari Shaffir 15:01 They run the world. Well, Facebook-

Joe Rogan 15:02 They are bigger than the government.

Ari Shaffir 15:03 Facebook's giant.

Joe Rogan 15:05 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 15:05 They're a giant.

Joe Rogan 15:05 They're multi-natural, -national.

Ari Shaffir 15:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:06 They'll go anywhere. They're bigger than the government.

Ari Shaffir 15:08 They're giant. You know what freaked me out? I saw Zuckerberg.

Joe Rogan 15:11 They have more control over us than the government does.

Ari Shaffir 15:12 Zuckerberg on TV in China.

Joe Rogan 15:14 Wow, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 15:14 Spea- I think he was speaking Mandarin. I was so impressed. I was like, "Look at this fucking guy. How smart is he?"

Joe Rogan 15:21 Yeah. He went to the same school AOC went to.

Ari Shaffir 15:23 I mean, that's, that's beside the point.

Joe Rogan 15:26 Yeah. Yeah. I, I, what's he doing there?

Ari Shaffir 15:28 Who are th- a lot of people went to that school, they can't do what he does.

Joe Rogan 15:30 I know. (laughs) I know.

Ari Shaffir 15:30 Speaking Mandarin is, that's hard. You gotta, uh, if you're learning that as an adult-

Joe Rogan 15:35 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 15:35 ... holy shit. And he does it on a talk show and people are laughing. It's really funny, man. So he's on this show, and the guy's speaking to him, I, I think it's Mandarin.

Joe Rogan 15:44 What? And he understands it?

Ari Shaffir 15:46 Some kind of Chinese. Yeah, not only does he understand it, he tells-

Joe Rogan 15:48 That's just learning it.

Ari Shaffir 15:48 ... a story to the crowd and they're laughing. So he told a joke. He told a joke in Chinese.

Joe Rogan 15:54 Did he know it already?

Ari Shaffir 15:55 He knew how to talk in Chinese.

Joe Rogan 15:57 From college?

Ari Shaffir 15:57 He learned. No, I think, I think his-

Joe Rogan 15:59 Wow. What?

Ari Shaffir 15:59 ... wife is Chinese. So he learned, you know, either with her or because of her.

Joe Rogan 16:04 Oh, yeah. She was Asia in that movie.

Ari Shaffir 16:05 Hmm. So I think he's, he's just one of those dudes. He's just a little too smart for his own good. He's running Facebook.

Joe Rogan 16:14 They're trying to fucking d- it, addict you every chance they get.

Ari Shaffir 16:17 But they're... Of course they are, they definitely are, but it's just the, the influence that one person can have.

Joe Rogan 16:23 It's so much.

Ari Shaffir 16:23 When you are a kid who starts up a social network, you think you're just gonna connect people that wanna, like say hi-

Joe Rogan 16:28 Make some cash off it.

Ari Shaffir 16:29 ... to their friends from school or-

Joe Rogan 16:30 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 16:30 ... yeah. You try to, you start making some cash, and then the next thing you know, p- people are using it to shift democracies, and then people are putting filters in there to try to control the content. And then people are biased against certain political ideologies, and more submissive or per- uh, yeah, more, uh, permissive of others. And then it becomes really weird. Like, what, is this a free speech zone? Like, what is this? Is this like, you decide? Who are you? Who are these people that get to decide? Are they deciding only for money? Like, how did you engineer this? You, wait a minute, you enginee- you didn't engineer it specifically to create conflict, but it's more monetarily beneficial for you to create conflict, and your algorithm is sort of conflict, it's, it's, it sort of gravitates towards conflict. Right? Like, if you're-

Joe Rogan 17:15 What do you mean?

Ari Shaffir 17:15 ... if you engage with things, and a lot of people, like say if it's a-

Joe Rogan 17:18 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 17:18 ... if it's a topic that is a very r- hot-

Joe Rogan 17:20 Gets people mad. Gets people mad.

Ari Shaffir 17:21 But abortion, right?

Joe Rogan 17:22 Uh-huh.

Ari Shaffir 17:22 Abortion. If you engage with abortion threads, your fucking, your feed will be filled with those things.

Joe Rogan 17:27 Oh, yeah. It'll occupy it, for sure.

Ari Shaffir 17:28 That's what you'll find. Yeah, it'll, and then it-

Joe Rogan 17:29 Keep you coming back.

Ari Shaffir 17:30 What, yeah, it's stuff that you engage with.

Joe Rogan 17:31 Let me see, this guy responded to my comment.

Ari Shaffir 17:33 But if, here's my question, if you're a person that instead engages with only positive stuff, would that make your, your, your... I mean, is it just what you're engaging in?

Joe Rogan 17:43 Oh. Oh, oh.

Ari Shaffir 17:43 Is that what the algorithm is?

Joe Rogan 17:43 Yeah. No, I have an answer.

Ari Shaffir 17:44 Yes.

Joe Rogan 17:44 So I did this as a test to myself, whatever-

Ari Shaffir 17:46 Okay.

Joe Rogan 17:46 ... on YouTube to see how much YouTube was influencing me.... you know, with that algorithm. You look at fucking one video-

Ari Shaffir 17:52 Go down a hole, son.

Joe Rogan 17:53 Yeah, you go down a hole. Tim Pool kept coming up for fucking, you know, s- five months after that, after that podcast he did. And then it was like... So I was like, "From now on, for a month, I'm only clicking on puppy videos."

Ari Shaffir 18:04 Mm.

Joe Rogan 18:05 I'm searching puppy videos. When I see one, like of yours or of somebody's that I wanna see, or music, something that pops up before, I'm like, "Nope, not touching it." Only searching and clicking on YouTube videos, uh, that have p- pu- puppies. Sometimes they gave me dogs. But it was just more and more of that shit, soldiers coming home, uh, when their dog's greeting them. And then eventually, it just started hitting me with only fucking puppy videos.

Ari Shaffir 18:25 So the, the algorithm just recognizes what you're interested in?

Joe Rogan 18:28 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 18:28 So you can't-

Joe Rogan 18:29 But s-

Ari Shaffir 18:29 ... blame people, then.

Joe Rogan 18:30 No. But sometimes, it makes you think this way. It makes you get mad-

Ari Shaffir 18:34 Yes.

Joe Rogan 18:34 ... about something. You ever talk to someone who's, like, woke about something?

Ari Shaffir 18:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:37 And you wanna be like, "I don't really believe you. I don't believe you're this mad about this thing."

Ari Shaffir 18:42 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:42 Like, "Somebody made you this mad." It doesn't, doesn't quite make sense, you know?

Ari Shaffir 18:47 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:47 And so then, where it's like, I think they've been influenced to think a certain way by these dumb algorithms, so if you, if you-

Ari Shaffir 18:51 It's kind of fun to be upset about things too. One of the, one of the things about, like, being into anything-

Joe Rogan 18:57 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 18:57 ... left-wing or right-wing stuff, is like, when you get into it, it's fun.

Joe Rogan 19:00 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 19:01 Other people are into it, it's fun too. And when, when you got action, shit's happening, you're yelling at each other. You know, you go onto that fucking Facebook every day, "What the fuck do these assholes have to say about the First Amendment today?"

Joe Rogan 19:11 Right. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 19:11 You know?

Joe Rogan 19:11 You wanna get worked up.

Ari Shaffir 19:12 What is... Yeah. But you proved, at least on YouTube, that if you just gravitate towards positive things... Like most of my YouTube feed is like MMA fights and pool matches.

Joe Rogan 19:22 Right.

Ari Shaffir 19:22 I watch a lot of pool, pro pool. Like my, my... And muscle cars. My, my YouTube feed is pretty... It's, it's pretty much what I look for. I don't look for a lot of shit. I look to YouTube for fun only.

Joe Rogan 19:35 Yeah, but th-

Ari Shaffir 19:35 I'm not trying to learn anything.

Joe Rogan 19:35 ... does it still, does it still hit you with shit that you're like, "Oh, what is this about?"

Ari Shaffir 19:39 Yeah. Occasionally, the, they sneak some gossipy stuff in there, some celebrity stuff in there. You know, weird, weird ones get in that don't seem to make sense.

Joe Rogan 19:46 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 19:46 I don't understand why. But, uh, I don't use Facebook. So, uh, I don't-

Joe Rogan 19:49 That's the most evil one.

Ari Shaffir 19:50 Yeah. I use it in a sense that it's connected to my Instagram, but I don't actually use it, use it. I don't get in there. I don't read it. I don't, uh...

Guest 19:58 There's a little, uh, controversy this week that Instagram's gonna take the likes away from viewing.

Ari Shaffir 20:02 Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:03 Ta- it's gonna take the likes away. The, the-

Guest 20:04 From, like, public viewing.

Joe Rogan 20:06 ... t- to minimize models.

Ari Shaffir 20:07 So you can't... You can't see how many likes you got for a post anymore.

Joe Rogan 20:10 How many... Can you see how many views?

Ari Shaffir 20:12 You can see it all, but the... I can't see how many likes you got.

Joe Rogan 20:15 Hmm.

Ari Shaffir 20:15 So if you put up a picture and your, your picture got 40,000 likes, I can never see that.

Joe Rogan 20:20 Wow. So they can still make their money off it, but everyone else won't get into a contest of like...

Guest 20:26 Speculation is that it's going to drive advertising dollars into giving money directly to Instagram instead of people-

Joe Rogan 20:32 Oh.

Guest 20:33 ... being able to advertise on their own.

Joe Rogan 20:35 Those fucks. Those fucks.

Guest 20:37 I don't know if that's really what it is, but...

Ari Shaffir 20:38 But if you were at Instagram, right? And you had people making shit tons of money off your platform just by posting things, "Hey, this is my new butt cream," or whatever the fuck you're selling-

Joe Rogan 20:48 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 20:49 ... and they don't even get a piece of that, they gotta be like, "Hey, what are we doing? We're spending $1 million a month in fucking bandwidth," probably way more than that, actually. And y- you f- p- way more than that. They have videos and shit too. You could upload videos. It's gotta be millions in bandwidth for every month, and they're not getting none of that? I get it.

Guest 21:08 They'll... People go there. They'll get their mind numbed. They'll get other ads. It's still, they still monetize them.

Ari Shaffir 21:12 But you'll be able to show-

Guest 21:13 It's just shit.

Ari Shaffir 21:13 ... like if you, if you have-

Guest 21:15 What?

Ari Shaffir 21:15 ... you know, like a... If you have a screenshot of your phone...

Guest 21:18 You can do that. I also think, though, that it's gonna de-incentivize people to like photos.

Joe Rogan 21:21 Exactly. 'Cause you don't see you're making a difference.

Guest 21:23 Right, right, right, right.

Ari Shaffir 21:24 Who's made more money than those butt doctors because of Instagram? Like if you look at-

Joe Rogan 21:28 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 21:29 ... like the percentage of like, uh, uptick in revenue-

Joe Rogan 21:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 21:33 ... like butt doctors, like gu- guys who just specialize in butt jobs-

Joe Rogan 21:38 Making butts better?

Ari Shaffir 21:39 It's... Instagram made them... They put them on the map.

Joe Rogan 21:41 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 21:41 This dude's out there with butt doctor houses.

Joe Rogan 21:43 They were going broke. They were having to do pot-

Ari Shaffir 21:45 Oh.

Joe Rogan 21:45 ... uh, (laughs) prescription-

Ari Shaffir 21:47 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 21:48 ... and now suddenly they're into money and butts.

Guest 21:50 Those guys are the best.

Joe Rogan 21:51 Dude-

Ari Shaffir 21:51 Those guys are the best.

Joe Rogan 21:51 Dude, do you know there's a theory that, that I think is true, that women are just hotter these days because they're always on the verge of being on Instagram? So even to go to the supermarket, they're putting makeup on.

Ari Shaffir 22:02 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:02 They're putting nice, nice clothes on. They're always looking their best, 'cause if they run into a friend, they might get uploaded.

Ari Shaffir 22:08 This is a tough time to be frumpy.

Joe Rogan 22:10 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 22:11 You know? If you're a gal, there's a lot of competition out there, and there's a lot of... A lot of these hoes go for it. Okay?

Joe Rogan 22:17 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 22:17 They'll... They go for it. They're pulling their panties aside in, at 38% of their pictures, you know?

Joe Rogan 22:22 (laughs) Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 22:23 I mean, there's a lot, lot of like strong competition out there now. They're changing the bar. And this is, by the way, for sure-

Joe Rogan 22:31 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 22:31 ... one of the reasons why prostitution is illegal.

Joe Rogan 22:33 Why?

Ari Shaffir 22:34 One of the reasons why prostitution is illegal, it would completely flip relationships on its head. If guys didn't need to have a relationship to have sex, just sex, and relationships were only love-

Joe Rogan 22:45 Sex dolls, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 22:45 ... you can go, no, get sex from a woman for money, just like you can get a hand job, or just like you can get a, um, a massage rather you can get a hand job.

Joe Rogan 22:52 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 22:52 Like if you... Why can... How can they give you a massage your head-

Joe Rogan 22:54 They're not allowed to do that too.

Ari Shaffir 22:54 ... but they can't massage your dick?

Joe Rogan 22:55 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 22:56 Well, if they di-... If they could, there would be so f-... People would change what they want out of a relationship.

Joe Rogan 23:03 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 23:03 It would be different. You would, you would, you would... There would be... It would be way... Like any women, and I'm not saying that all women are like this, but any woman-

Joe Rogan 23:11 No, all women. It's okay.

Ari Shaffir 23:11 Any woman that is sexually man- manipulative where like she won't... She withholds sex from her man if he doesn't do certain things-

Joe Rogan 23:18 That goes away.

Ari Shaffir 23:19 ... that goes away.

Joe Rogan 23:19 Dude, that pe-... My, my friends in Bangkok, when I met people in Bangkok, they were like, "They don't play those..." The regular women here, the non-working woman-

Ari Shaffir 23:26 Right. They-

Joe Rogan 23:26 ... they don't play that game.

Ari Shaffir 23:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 23:27 Because they know-

Ari Shaffir 23:28 Game doesn't exist.

Joe Rogan 23:28 Dude, I can just walk down the street-

Ari Shaffir 23:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 23:30 ... like a Bodega in New York. They're everywhere.

Ari Shaffir 23:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:32 And just find a woman.

Ari Shaffir 23:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:33 So this like, "I'll make him wait, and that way..." It's like, shut up with that.

Ari Shaffir 23:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:37 If you're interested, just go for it.

Ari Shaffir 23:38 The problem is shame for the girl. That's the fucking problem.

Joe Rogan 23:42 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 23:42 If there was no shame for the girl, if you didn't... If no one really cared if she hooked up with you o- o- on a one-night stand-

Joe Rogan 23:48 Right.

Ari Shaffir 23:48 ... and it turns out she fucked your cousin a month ago, no one cared...

Joe Rogan 23:51 That's almost gone.

Ari Shaffir 23:52 It's almost gone.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 23:54 It is almost gone, right? It's changing.

Joe Rogan 23:56 Yeah.... it's now-

Ari Shaffir 23:56 Well, conversations. People didn't talk about this shit when we were kids.

Joe Rogan 24:00 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 24:00 You had to figure it out on your own.

Joe Rogan 24:01 It's so casual now.

Ari Shaffir 24:03 Dude, nobody taught you about jerking off. Nobody taught you about drinking.

Joe Rogan 24:06 Nope. Nope.

Ari Shaffir 24:06 Nobody taught you what to do in a relationship. Those are the three most confusing fucking things to happen to you.

Joe Rogan 24:11 And you're just guessing?

Ari Shaffir 24:11 Yeah, guessing.

Joe Rogan 24:12 Can I make a PSA real quick-

Ari Shaffir 24:13 Please.

Joe Rogan 24:13 ... for all the children who are gonna start drinking? Uh, your parents are never gonna teach you about alcohol use. Uh, there's a thing called coasting. When you have a few drinks, you can switch to water if you're feeling drunk. You're gonna throw up if you keep drinking like a child. But you're a child, right? So you don't get how to do it yet. You gotta coast; one water, one beer, one water-

Ari Shaffir 24:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:29 ... one beer.

Ari Shaffir 24:30 Here's the thing, don't-

Joe Rogan 24:30 And then you'll have a great time.

Ari Shaffir 24:32 Don't have too many. Don't have, if you're gonna drink, and I, I don't advise anyone under 21 to drink, 'cause that's illegal. But if I was gonna-

Joe Rogan 24:38 (sighs)

Ari Shaffir 24:38 ... advise them, I would say have two drinks.

Joe Rogan 24:41 How-

Ari Shaffir 24:41 Don't have more than two. Two will fuck you up, man.

Joe Rogan 24:43 Okay-

Ari Shaffir 24:44 Don't, d- don't be that guy.

Joe Rogan 24:45 ... I'm gonna take the opposite stance on that. You're for sure gonna get drunk. But just-

Ari Shaffir 24:47 Yeah, but two will fuck you up.

Joe Rogan 24:47 ... limit it to drunk. Two?

Ari Shaffir 24:48 If you're 16 years old-

Joe Rogan 24:50 Maybe 16. I'm talking about 18 or 19.

Ari Shaffir 24:50 Two shots of Jack Daniels will put you in a fucking, a goofy mood.

Joe Rogan 24:55 I would say, wherever you're at, if you're feeling good, just stop for a while.

Ari Shaffir 24:58 Stop for a while. It's hard, though.

Joe Rogan 24:58 You're good right there. You still got more going down, too.

Ari Shaffir 25:00 Well, the problem is, you lose your inhibitions, right? They go out the window. And then you're, you're having fun. You wanna have more fun. Fucking come on-

Joe Rogan 25:06 You'll have more fun if you switch to Coca-Cola!

Ari Shaffir 25:08 ... swishing these shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!

Joe Rogan 25:10 Shots! All right, (screams) another shot!

Ari Shaffir 25:11 Yeah. Next thing-

Joe Rogan 25:12 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 25:12 ... you know, you got Bert on the table. He's g-

Joe Rogan 25:14 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 25:14 He's got his butt crack. You're underneath it. He's pouring asshole shots, as he was telling us about-

Joe Rogan 25:18 It's the shots! Because you can have two or three of those in four minutes.

Ari Shaffir 25:21 And get blasted instantaneously.

Joe Rogan 25:22 And then suddenly, you're like, "What happened?"

Ari Shaffir 25:24 You're mainlining alcohol right to the old hatch.

Joe Rogan 25:26 Oh, my God.

Ari Shaffir 25:26 One shot, you feel it, like, like, instantly. Like, whoa!

Joe Rogan 25:30 You're ready to throw up. You still got two more shots that haven't hit you yet.

Ari Shaffir 25:33 Whoa! That's what's up.

Joe Rogan 25:35 (sighs)

Ari Shaffir 25:35 You know what else is up? Ari Shaffir is gonna be with me at the Improv tonight at 10:30. Sold out show, fuckers.

Joe Rogan 25:41 That'd be great.

Ari Shaffir 25:41 Oh, yeah, it's gonna be a good time.

Joe Rogan 25:43 Heard their shows are good.

Ari Shaffir 25:43 Diaz is on the first show.

Joe Rogan 25:45 Oh, really?

Ari Shaffir 25:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:46 Nice.

Ari Shaffir 25:46 Fun times.

Joe Rogan 25:47 Um, can I ask my special?

Ari Shaffir 25:49 Fuck, yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:50 I'm finally doing my special.

Ari Shaffir 25:51 Yes.

Joe Rogan 25:52 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 25:52 And which, which theater did you choose?

Joe Rogan 25:54 The Skirball Center in New York.

Ari Shaffir 25:55 Yes.

Joe Rogan 25:55 We talked a lot about it.

Ari Shaffir 25:56 Yes. I'm so glad.

Joe Rogan 25:57 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 25:58 The back... 'Cause tell everybody the whole j- the whole, you went on a little journey there trying to figure out where to do it.

Joe Rogan 26:03 Yeah, yeah, trying to find a venue.

Ari Shaffir 26:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:04 I went, I was... It's a lot about Judaism, my upbringing, you know? Fucking do that comedy club funny, be done with that shit.

Ari Shaffir 26:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:11 You know? So, that's what I've been working on for a while.

Ari Shaffir 26:14 Yeah, it's been a couple years, right?

Joe Rogan 26:15 It's been a co- the longest one, two and a half years?

Ari Shaffir 26:17 Mm.

Joe Rogan 26:18 Um...

Ari Shaffir 26:19 But it's also the first one that you did like, a theme. And it's essentially, so what you did was like... There's a lot of guys who do that. I've never been to Edinburgh, but that festival-

Joe Rogan 26:29 I've been to it.

Ari Shaffir 26:29 ... is like, that's how it is, right?

Joe Rogan 26:31 It's the best. Oh, my God, it's so much fun.

Ari Shaffir 26:32 And it's like, a lot of people who do themes-

Joe Rogan 26:33 Yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 26:34 ... they come in. So you decided to do a theme, but to do this theme with American-style standup.

Joe Rogan 26:39 Yeah, that's exactly it, dude. Yeah, (laughs) that's exactly it.

Ari Shaffir 26:42 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:43 Yeah. The fir- I went two years. I went with my storytelling show one year, and then I was like, my plan was to go show them what a fucking American hour was.

Ari Shaffir 26:49 Mm.

Joe Rogan 26:49 Which was my last special. Just like, "Hey, here's your standup, you fucking fools."

Ari Shaffir 26:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:54 Trying to do some fucking h- higher thing where you're like, tying it all together. But they're not funny.

Ari Shaffir 26:58 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 26:58 They do like, 20 minutes of unfunny.

Ari Shaffir 27:00 Mm.

Joe Rogan 27:01 And so I was like, "Everybody here, I'm giving you an American hour." And it was just that. And then the next year, the plan was, and it became two years later, was like, "Now I'll do one of your stupid fucking theme hours, but I'm not gonna do it where I'm just fucking serious for 20 minutes."

Ari Shaffir 27:14 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:14 That's ridiculous.

Ari Shaffir 27:14 Is that what they do?

Joe Rogan 27:15 They really do. And I don't get it. I don't get why you have to... I get the theme. I don't get why you have to stop being funny.

Ari Shaffir 27:21 Did you see Hannah-

Joe Rogan 27:22 It's all theater shit.

Ari Shaffir 27:23 Did you see Hannah Gadsby? Wasn't it-

Joe Rogan 27:24 I didn't see her live.

Ari Shaffir 27:25 What is it called?

Joe Rogan 27:25 She was there the year I was off. Lynette.

Ari Shaffir 27:27 Lynette.

Joe Rogan 27:27 Yeah. I saw th-

Ari Shaffir 27:28 I thought that was her name. I thought her name was Lynette.

Joe Rogan 27:29 Yeah, Lynette. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 27:30 The show's called Hannah Gadsby. I fucked it up.

Joe Rogan 27:32 (laughs) Right, thanks.

Ari Shaffir 27:32 You didn't see it?

Joe Rogan 27:33 I didn't see it live. The people I know who saw it live was like, in the room. They were like, "Damn." It was like, pretty powerful. 'Cause that shit goes, at Edinburgh, to... People see four or five shows a day for five days in a row.

Ari Shaffir 27:44 Mm-hmm. And she's so... But her thing, a lot of it's not funny. Some of it's funny, but a lot of it's not funny.

Joe Rogan 27:48 Intentionally not funny.

Ari Shaffir 27:49 Yes. But these guys-

Joe Rogan 27:51 She was, okay-

Ari Shaffir 27:51 ... in England, or the Edinburgh guys-

Joe Rogan 27:52 Of the not funny part, that was like, legit powerful stuff-

Ari Shaffir 27:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:55 ... where you're like, "Fuck." You're caught up in the emotion. But a lot of them is just forcing in... And I've seen people doing my storytelling show, like forcing in some like, lesson or something. It's like, "Dude-"

Ari Shaffir 28:04 Oh.

Joe Rogan 28:04 "... it's not there. It's okay. You can just have a fun story."

Ari Shaffir 28:07 Right, right, right, right. Forcing in lessons is gross. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:10 I, I always liked The Moth, which I like The Moth, but like, they always do this-

Ari Shaffir 28:13 What's The Moth?

Joe Rogan 28:14 The Moth is a storytelling series. Um, uh, Mikey D did one on there about, about, maybe about getting AIDS.

Ari Shaffir 28:21 Oh. Jesus.

Joe Rogan 28:21 Mike DiStefano, um, and about his aunt or something. But usually it was like, comics did it, it was just funny. And then when normals did it, they would like, they would have some thing. They'd be like, "That's not just the day I lost my watch. That's the day I lost my innocence." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 28:35 Oh, boy.

Joe Rogan 28:36 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 28:36 So they just got overdramatic?

Joe Rogan 28:38 Yeah, and that's what they do in Edinburgh a lot.

Ari Shaffir 28:40 Oh, boy.

Joe Rogan 28:40 Some of them are really good.

Ari Shaffir 28:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:42 But that theme thing was that. And I was like, "I wanna do that better."

Ari Shaffir 28:45 When you say American-style standup, I almost wish I wasn't an American standup so I could fucking wholeheartedly agree with you.

Joe Rogan 28:52 (laughs) Yeah, we can talk. We're just 15 years ahead.

Ari Shaffir 28:55 It's, but I wish I wasn't an actual American standup so I could have-

Joe Rogan 28:59 Oh, that'd be way better.

Ari Shaffir 28:59 ... a non-opinionated point on this 'cause when I hear people say like, "America is not where the best standups are," I'm like, "Fuck-"

Joe Rogan 29:05 You're out of your mind.

Ari Shaffir 29:05 "... fuck, fuck, fuck you."

Joe Rogan 29:06 You're out of your mind. Of course it is. It's fine. They're doing great.

Ari Shaffir 29:09 Stop.

Joe Rogan 29:09 They started behind us.

Ari Shaffir 29:10 I'm sure a lot of you are out there in New Zealand, in Florida, and other countries. Florida's not America. Uh...

Joe Rogan 29:17 (laughs) I didn't mean to hear that.

Ari Shaffir 29:19 Australia, anywhere you're at.

Joe Rogan 29:21 No, there's good standups there.

Ari Shaffir 29:22 Canada. There's, there's, some of you are a genius and some of you are amongst the best in the world.

Joe Rogan 29:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:25 It doesn't disqualify you from being amongst the best in the world. But if you wanna say that there's not a greater number of hilarious fucks, female and male, in America, a way disproportionate number, you're outta your fucking mind.

Joe Rogan 29:38 You're out of your mind.

Ari Shaffir 29:38 The greatest ones are here.

Joe Rogan 29:40 You're out of your mind.

Ari Shaffir 29:40 It's not even close.

Joe Rogan 29:41 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:41 It's not even, it's, there's no race.

Joe Rogan 29:43 Yeah. It's, but it, it's-

Ari Shaffir 29:44 What I mean, you're not-

Joe Rogan 29:45 ... it's, it's a non-starter. Yeah, right, exactly. There's a lot of great comics other places. But, uh, overall, they're just like, behind us.

Ari Shaffir 29:50 Take us completely out of the equation. Take our friends out of the equation.

Joe Rogan 29:54 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:54 This place is filled with assassins.

Joe Rogan 29:56 (laughs) Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:57 It's filled with assassins.

Joe Rogan 29:57 It's the Wild West here.

Ari Shaffir 29:58 This is the Wild West.

Joe Rogan 29:59 This whole country is built on fucking rebels.

Ari Shaffir 30:00 Well, especially now with the internet, I mean, you can become a legit national act with no one's help like Andrew, like Schulz is doing.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 30:09 Dude, he is doing every-

Joe Rogan 30:10 And Ross.

Ari Shaffir 30:10 ... thring, everything through YouTube. He's selling out theaters. He's murdering it.... you don't need anybody anymore.

Joe Rogan 30:16 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 30:16 So these fucking killers like him, all these assassins.

Joe Rogan 30:19 He's turned a corner too. People talk about it, and like, not about draw, but just about like-

Ari Shaffir 30:24 His material.

Joe Rogan 30:24 ... on stage, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 30:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 30:25 He's working at it. He's a funny fuck, man. He's a smart dude. But the thing is, like these guys, they're, they're blossoming now. There's a bunch of 'em, man.

Joe Rogan 30:32 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 30:32 They're all over the place.

Joe Rogan 30:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 30:34 Yeah. There's a-

Joe Rogan 30:35 It's pretty great.

Ari Shaffir 30:35 ... bunch of fucking assassins.

Joe Rogan 30:36 It's a great time to be a comic.

Ari Shaffir 30:37 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:37 It really is. It really is. And people get so worked up too, which is also fun.

Ari Shaffir 30:41 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:41 It's just a fun time overall.

Ari Shaffir 30:42 People definitely get more mad than they ever have before. But they also get happier that you're willing to push the envelope too.

Joe Rogan 30:47 Oh, yeah. 'Cause there's a little bit of danger again. We talked about this.

Ari Shaffir 30:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:50 It's fucking dangerous again. It's great.

Ari Shaffir 30:53 Yeah. You said that to me on the phone once, and I'll never forget that. I was driving home and you're like, "I love it. Comedy's dangerous again." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:58 (laughs) It is. You might get written off if you say the wrong thing. Like, "I think I can go a little darker." And they're like, "Nope, you're done." You're like, "Whoa." You got me.

Ari Shaffir 31:05 Here's the thing though, we'll never be written off to each other.

Joe Rogan 31:08 No. Exactly. We're fine.

Ari Shaffir 31:09 That's ... But that's the reason why we can kinda ... We have freedom that maybe people in for t- for short TV shows don't have.

Joe Rogan 31:16 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 31:17 They don't have any freedom. They don't have any freedom.

Joe Rogan 31:19 Well, none. But also ... Right, they can take away a level of money we can make. But like, they can't take away the ability to do standup.

Ari Shaffir 31:27 No.

Joe Rogan 31:28 Unless every club says, "We won't book you." Or even ... The workout clubs don't have it. You ... Like, you just still do standup.

Ari Shaffir 31:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:34 Which is like the main thing.

Ari Shaffir 31:35 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 31:36 And you just have a few clubs that'll be like, "Yeah. We're never gonna fucking get rid of him for anything he says."

Ari Shaffir 31:41 But yeah, if you ... And also fans, like if you did something ... I mean, it would have to be some horrible shit.

Joe Rogan 31:47 It'd have to be real life shit.

Ari Shaffir 31:48 Yeah. You'd have to murder somebody or something.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Yeah. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 31:50 Do you think OJ could do standup?

Joe Rogan 31:53 For sure.

Ari Shaffir 31:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:56 Oh my God, how do we make that happen?

Ari Shaffir 31:58 (screams)

Joe Rogan 31:58 We could get Tony to write for him. Oh, for sure.

Ari Shaffir 32:01 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 32:01 He's naturally charismatic.

Ari Shaffir 32:04 I think he's friends with Norm.

Joe Rogan 32:06 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 32:07 I think Norm MacDonald ... Maybe I shouldn't say friends. Like Norm knows him, and I think Norm has actually talked to him about doing his podcast.

Joe Rogan 32:14 Really?

Ari Shaffir 32:14 Yes. Do you know how epic that would be?

Joe Rogan 32:17 That would be crazy. I'm gonna show you something The Stand wrote a long time ago-

Ari Shaffir 32:19 If-

Joe Rogan 32:19 ... now that we're talking about this.

Ari Shaffir 32:20 If Norm had-

Joe Rogan 32:21 If Norm coached him?

Ari Shaffir 32:22 ... OJ Simpson on his podcast. "Hey, Juice." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:27 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 32:27 It just ... Norm has this ... Norm has, uh, d- whatever the fuck the opposite of having a filter is, it's not having no filter. He's just got like, like cr- weird crazy shit's gonna come out of his mouth.

Joe Rogan 32:40 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 32:40 He doesn't give a fuck.

Joe Rogan 32:41 Did you see the, um ... Did you see the, um, uh, Sacha Baron Cohen with OJ?

Ari Shaffir 32:46 No, I did not.

Joe Rogan 32:46 Oh, you gotta watch it.

Ari Shaffir 32:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:48 He interviews OJ.

Ari Shaffir 32:48 Yeah. I know. I know. I didn't see it though.

Joe Rogan 32:50 Oh, it's the best.

Ari Shaffir 32:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:50 And he goes ... And he's just this Italian guy, and he's like ... (laughs) I mean, you gotta watch, but he's like, "All right." Yeah. No, it's w- had some racist women, you know, "I wish I could kill them, but I guess I cannot." (laughs) And the guy's like ... OJ's like, "All right, man. No, no, no."

Ari Shaffir 33:01 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 33:02 Oh, he b- he gets 'em. Oh, he's just so convincing.

Ari Shaffir 33:04 He's so ballsy.

Joe Rogan 33:06 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 33:06 To be able to do that shit in front of ... Right in front of those people, they don't even know it's happening.

Joe Rogan 33:11 Yeah. And they've signed up.

Ari Shaffir 33:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:14 Here, read this. This is what I mean by like, they can't ever take it all away from us, 'cause you have clubs like this, The Stand.

Ari Shaffir 33:18 The Stand.

Joe Rogan 33:18 This is when I got ... one of my e-rages.

Ari Shaffir 33:20 Uh, "To everyone-"

Joe Rogan 33:20 But you maybe think about it.

Ari Shaffir 33:20 ... "everyone calling The Stand posting hateful messages and emailing hate speech to us. We never respond to such irresponsible protests. Despite what you feel about Ari Shaffir, we have the right to book or hire anyone regardless of their views on religion, race, or politics. Ari's a comedian and performer. Just because you view his creations as something that is not humorous, but hate speech, that is your opinion."

Joe Rogan 33:43 (laughs) I love this.

Ari Shaffir 33:43 "Harassing our establishment will not deter us from booking Ari to perform at The Stand. Please refrain-"

Joe Rogan 33:49 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 33:49 "... from engaging our staff. Furthermore, unorganized protests over a, over a something that is out of our control ..." Okay, "is not only morally wrong, but is viewed as a crime. We will find out what special interest group this is-"

Joe Rogan 34:06 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 34:06 "... and press charges if this continues. That is all." Damn.

Joe Rogan 34:10 That's their public post. That's when everyone else is backing down and is like, "Well, it's a tough time right now." You'll always have a few clubs like that, that are like-

Ari Shaffir 34:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:16 ... "Get the fuck away."

Ari Shaffir 34:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:18 "We're not doing that."

Ari Shaffir 34:18 Thank God.

Joe Rogan 34:18 So you'll always have a place to perform.

Ari Shaffir 34:20 Thank God. Thank God.

Joe Rogan 34:22 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 34:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:23 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 34:23 Thank Odin. Praise Zeus.

Joe Rogan 34:26 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 34:26 Yeah, man. We need them. We need people like The Store. We need-

Joe Rogan 34:29 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 34:29 We need places that ... You know, in some clubs they don't recognize that.

Joe Rogan 34:33 They used to... They used to ... And Mitzi would do this. They used to like, write, um, like full letters about Paul Mooney, complaining about him.

Ari Shaffir 34:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:41 And sh- ... We were like, "What do we do?" And she was like, "Call Paul, read it to him, and then decide if he wants the letter or not. Um, tell the people who complained that he's going to be severely punished." (laughs) Just like that.

Ari Shaffir 34:51 That's what you would do? That's funny.

Joe Rogan 34:52 We would call Paul, we'd just laugh about it. He goes, "Read it again, read it again." I love this.

Ari Shaffir 34:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:56 And we'd read it back. He goes, "You wanna go safe on one day?" Yeah. Um, and then, uh, and then we'd call the person and we'd be like, "Okay, he's been docked for two weeks. He won't be here. Here's four free tickets to The Comedy Store." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 35:04 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 35:04 And we were hoping that they'd be there when he was there again. And he ... Of course he was never told not to show up.

Ari Shaffir 35:09 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 35:10 But like, they were idiots back then too. (laughs) It's hilarious.

Ari Shaffir 35:13 Always.

Joe Rogan 35:14 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 35:14 There's always people that complain.

Joe Rogan 35:15 But these clubs are never gonna back down.

Ari Shaffir 35:16 You know what I love looking at? Yelp reviews, when I find someone that has like a one star for a restaurant that I know is good.

Joe Rogan 35:21 Uh-huh.

Ari Shaffir 35:21 I'm like, "What? One star?" And then I'll read their review, I'm like, "Let me check out this dude's profile." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:26 (laughs) It's full of hate.

Ari Shaffir 35:27 Full of hate.

Joe Rogan 35:28 Oh my God. He hates everything.

Ari Shaffir 35:29 Everything sucks. Everything sucks. Every waiter is rude. Every fucking food is cold.

Joe Rogan 35:34 White House, more like the Off-White House. Wash it.

Ari Shaffir 35:36 Some people are just twats.

Joe Rogan 35:39 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 35:39 They're just ... You know, did you see that New York Times review they gave, um, uh, the fucking Brooklyn Steakhouse that we love? What the hell's it called? Peter Luger's. They gave Peter Luger's one star.

Joe Rogan 35:49 One star.

Ari Shaffir 35:50 That ... Remember, we just went there.

Joe Rogan 35:52 Yeah. It was great.

Ari Shaffir 35:52 How ... It was fucking amazing.

Joe Rogan 35:53 Oh my God. With the sizzling plate.

Ari Shaffir 35:55 It's amazing.... dude.

Joe Rogan 35:56 Those, those potatoes.

Ari Shaffir 35:58 They gave it one star. It's-

Joe Rogan 35:59 I kid you not. Come on.

Ari Shaffir 36:01 ... the-

Joe Rogan 36:01 Three stars and you're like, "Well, maybe something happened." I don't know.

Ari Shaffir 36:03 But it's smart. Because look, if you're a provocateur/journalist, and y- I know how much you love trolls-

Joe Rogan 36:09 Yeah, I do love trolls.

Ari Shaffir 36:10 ... that's what that guy did.

Joe Rogan 36:11 (laughs) Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 36:11 He took, like, one of the most delicious restaurants of all time-

Joe Rogan 36:13 Hmm.

Ari Shaffir 36:14 ... and he made a one-star rating. It's either that or he's a moron. So, either he's really clever-

Joe Rogan 36:18 I kinda-

Ari Shaffir 36:19 ... or he's a, he's gotta be a twat.

Guest 36:20 It shows up on top at Google when you search Peter Luger review, too.

Ari Shaffir 36:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:24 Oh, wow.

Ari Shaffir 36:24 Used to sizzle, now it sputters.

Joe Rogan 36:25 I can't, I can-

Ari Shaffir 36:26 One star, top of Google.

Joe Rogan 36:27 ... count on Peter Luger Steak House in Brooklyn to produce certain sensations, and then I don't know.

Ari Shaffir 36:30 Well, it's a very, very popular restaurant, right? There's a giant waiting list last time we were there.

Joe Rogan 36:36 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 36:36 We, we w- luckily weaseled in and had to grease some palms, but it's a-

Joe Rogan 36:39 Me and-

Ari Shaffir 36:39 ... fucking sweet spot.

Joe Rogan 36:40 Me and Diaz went when Diaz was in town. He was like, "Get a reservation," and I get... And they're like, "You're out of your mind. You can't get one." And so we had my manager's assistant call and say we're part of Obama's staff, and we would be there.

Ari Shaffir 36:50 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 36:50 Yeah, they said we could do 3:15 and that's it.

Ari Shaffir 36:53 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 36:54 Yeah. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 36:54 Part of Obama's staff.

Joe Rogan 36:55 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 36:56 That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 36:57 (laughs) Yeah. Then we came in.

Ari Shaffir 36:57 That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 36:59 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 36:59 The food there is fucking amazing, man. It's so good.

Joe Rogan 37:01 You shouldn't do that for a one-star restaurant, you cunts.

Ari Shaffir 37:03 That's not one star.

Joe Rogan 37:04 That's a troll. You're absolutely right. That's, that's more than... He's not just a j- He's just trying to get this out of us.

Ari Shaffir 37:08 Or he's one of those writers. There's certain writers that are just trying to be assholes with everything they do. They love being assholes. They love accentuating, they love the art form of being an asshole. An art form of being the, an articulate asshole.

Joe Rogan 37:23 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 37:23 Where you're an asshole with good, good...

Joe Rogan 37:25 (laughs) Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 37:25 You know how to say the w- you know, put the right words in the right order, which just sounds juicy and pops.

Joe Rogan 37:30 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 37:30 And makes you seem terrible.

Joe Rogan 37:32 Like a well-read asshole.

Ari Shaffir 37:32 But when you're doing that over something like Peter Luger's, like, you lose, uh, that all that one star means. That's not what one star means.

Joe Rogan 37:40 No.

Ari Shaffir 37:40 What one star means is you go-

Joe Rogan 37:41 They spit in your face.

Ari Shaffir 37:42 Yeah. You go to the Olive Garden and the fucking guy who works behind the counter has had his heroin problem.

Guest 37:46 It's actually zero stars.

Ari Shaffir 37:48 Zero?

Guest 37:48 They didn't even give it a one, it was a zero star.

Ari Shaffir 37:50 Oh, that's hilarious.

Guest 37:50 Which, like, I wouldn't even have-

Joe Rogan 37:51 There's no zero stars.

Ari Shaffir 37:52 That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 37:52 What is the lowest?

Guest 37:54 Not, not today.

Ari Shaffir 37:55 Come on, that's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 37:56 What? That's a Photoshop.

Guest 37:57 No.

Joe Rogan 37:57 (laughs) Of course that's a-

Ari Shaffir 37:58 Is that really?

Guest 37:59 You gave it zero stars?

Joe Rogan 37:59 No, you can't do one, you can't do zero stars. It's a Photoshop, it's a troll.

Ari Shaffir 38:02 See, that's, it's more showing that this guy's trolling.

Guest 38:04 It is a-

Ari Shaffir 38:04 And he w- look, we're talking about him, he's brilliant.

Joe Rogan 38:05 It's great.

Ari Shaffir 38:06 He's a smart guy.

Joe Rogan 38:06 He's made us uncover him, though.

Ari Shaffir 38:07 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:08 And we uncovered him.

Ari Shaffir 38:09 Look, he's a smart guy.

Joe Rogan 38:09 But yeah, it took some work.

Ari Shaffir 38:11 He knows what he was doing.

Joe Rogan 38:11 I did get riled up.

Ari Shaffir 38:12 If you wanna make a fucking splash in the restaurant review business in 2019-

Joe Rogan 38:18 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 38:18 ... that's what you do.

Joe Rogan 38:19 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 38:20 You have to do it that way.

Joe Rogan 38:20 You can't go positive with shitty places.

Ari Shaffir 38:21 No.

Joe Rogan 38:21 That won't work.

Ari Shaffir 38:22 No.

Joe Rogan 38:22 Go negative with great places.

Ari Shaffir 38:23 Negative.

Joe Rogan 38:24 (laughs) You know how you all love this? Well, I hated it.

Ari Shaffir 38:27 I shit in your mouth.

Joe Rogan 38:30 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 38:31 Yeah. I mean, he was talking about the, the steak not being flavorful. You're out of your-

Joe Rogan 38:35 What are you talking about?

Ari Shaffir 38:37 ... fucking mind.

Joe Rogan 38:38 If they dropped it on the floor and picked it up on the way, it's still a two star.

Ari Shaffir 38:42 That, he's bullshitting.

Joe Rogan 38:43 It's so good.

Ari Shaffir 38:43 He's bullshitting.

Joe Rogan 38:44 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 38:44 And we're all buying it, hook, line, and sinker.

Joe Rogan 38:46 He got us. He got us.

Ari Shaffir 38:46 We're like a bass right now, like this (imitates bass) .

Joe Rogan 38:48 He absolutely got us.

Ari Shaffir 38:49 He got us. Hook in the jaw (imitates drag) . I'm fighting against the drag (imitates drag) .

Joe Rogan 38:54 Ah, it's so much more fun to be angry at something. Well, let me finish telling you about my special.

Ari Shaffir 38:58 Mm-hmm. Oh, your special.

Joe Rogan 39:00 Okay. So, since it was this, whatever, this theme thing, I was like, "We should do it in a synagogue."

Ari Shaffir 39:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:05 There was this place that I was like, "This works," 'cause it's like a, like a performance space that was a synagogue, and then they didn't want me to do it 'cause of my material. And then we kept trying to find new synagogues that would let me do it. The one that would be good for performance, and then also that would let me do it, and they were all like, "No fucking way." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 39:22 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:23 And yeah, some of them were like, "Do you have Holocaust jokes?" I'm like, "Yes." (whistles) And they're like, "No. My dad just survived, I can say whatever the fuck I want." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 39:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:31 Or do I have to be one?

Ari Shaffir 39:32 No, I think you can say whatever the fuck you want.

Joe Rogan 39:35 If I say it in front of him, anyway.

Ari Shaffir 39:36 Your dad is a fucking Holocaust survivor.

Joe Rogan 39:39 That's right.

Ari Shaffir 39:39 It's me- this is a real thing.

Joe Rogan 39:40 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 39:40 You know? I mean, the Holocaust was a real thing. It's, it's-

Joe Rogan 39:43 You tell us not how to deal with it as a people?

Ari Shaffir 39:45 Well, yeah, that's, that's the thing. It's like, that's one of the rare things where only Jews can talk about it-

Joe Rogan 39:50 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 39:50 ... in that way. I mean, anybody can talk about anything, right? But only Jews can talk about the Holocaust from a position of, "Hey, that was my family that was killed."

Joe Rogan 39:59 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 39:59 "That was my dad who was in the fucking concentration camps."

Joe Rogan 40:02 Yeah, you can give it some seriousness, too.

Ari Shaffir 40:04 Yeah, but the, the only people-

Joe Rogan 40:06 But like, yeah, like, I'll do it the way I wanna do it. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 40:06 The only people that can say that, that that is my family-

Joe Rogan 40:11 Are the people that were-

Ari Shaffir 40:12 ... are the, are Jews.

Joe Rogan 40:12 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 40:13 They're the only people. So if anybody-

Joe Rogan 40:15 The Armenians got fully wiped out.

Ari Shaffir 40:16 Dude, the Armenians, not only did the Armen-

Joe Rogan 40:19 I don't think there's any of them left anymore.

Ari Shaffir 40:19 There's plenty of them.

Joe Rogan 40:20 What? (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 40:20 Go to, go to Glendale.

Joe Rogan 40:21 (laughs) But I...

Guest 40:22 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 40:23 Not only did the Armenians have a genocide-

Joe Rogan 40:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 40:25 ... but th- there was a denial of their genocide. Like, a serious denial of their genocide. And-

Joe Rogan 40:30 More than the Jew one?

Ari Shaffir 40:32 Y- yeah, yeah, like open and recent.

Joe Rogan 40:34 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 40:34 Like, not that, not that long ago, people were still denying the Armenian genocide. Yeah, it's a, that's a very touchy one with them, man. I didn't know about it until Manny Gambirian, uh, told me about it.

Joe Rogan 40:45 Yeah, they hate the Turks.

Ari Shaffir 40:47 Well, they hate the people who massacred their ancestors.

Joe Rogan 40:51 They also just hate the Turks.

Ari Shaffir 40:52 You think so?

Joe Rogan 40:53 Yeah, at this point. (laughs) They're probably not delineating.

Ari Shaffir 40:55 Isn't it weird that-

Joe Rogan 40:55 They're probably just like, "Ah, fuck all ya."

Ari Shaffir 40:57 ... is Turkey not Turkey to them? Is that one of them countries? Like, Japan is Nippon, right?

Joe Rogan 41:03 Oh, really?

Ari Shaffir 41:03 Where they're like, "Nah, don't like it, Japan."

Joe Rogan 41:05 I think it's Turkey.

Ari Shaffir 41:06 There's a few countries.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 41:07 I think Greece is not Greece. I don't believe they call it Greece.

Joe Rogan 41:11 Israel is Israel.

Ari Shaffir 41:13 It's close enough.

Joe Rogan 41:14 That's close enough. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 41:14 It's close enough.

Joe Rogan 41:15 Greece is not Greece.

Ari Shaffir 41:16 I don't believe Greece is Greece. I think it's believed-

Joe Rogan 41:19 Mexico and Mexico are close?

Ari Shaffir 41:20 Yeah, that's close enough.

Joe Rogan 41:21 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 41:21 But what is the n-

Joe Rogan 41:22 Iceland's probably not Iceland.

Ari Shaffir 41:24 M-

Joe Rogan 41:24 They have a whole different language.

Ari Shaffir 41:25 Maybe, right? Yeah, what is Iceland? But what is, uh, what is Greece in their language? What's the, what's the word? I might've made that up. Let's see if I made that up.

Joe Rogan 41:34 (laughs) We'll see.

Ari Shaffir 41:35 My- I'm, my brain is, uh, falling apart l- lately.

Joe Rogan 41:39 Anyway, my special is February 8th.

Ari Shaffir 41:41 You're joking.

Joe Rogan 41:41 (laughs) As of taping on February 8th.

Guest 41:43 A hard question to Google.

Ari Shaffir 41:45 Is it?

Joe Rogan 41:45 Really?

Guest 41:46 Yeah, give me one.

Joe Rogan 41:46 Why?

Guest 41:46 W- what is Greece called in Greece? Like, it's not a hard question.

Ari Shaffir 41:49 In Greek?

Joe Rogan 41:49 In Greek.

Guest 41:49 I know, but like, it's not, that's not, I did do-

Ari Shaffir 41:52 Okay.

Joe Rogan 41:52 Well, tell me while people are pushing the button.

Guest 41:53 I did do Google, Google is coming up.

Ari Shaffir 41:54 What is the real name of the country Greece?

Guest 41:57 Okay.So I was trying the Turkey thing, and it's too close to Thanksgiving so...

Ari Shaffir 42:01 Oh. Bakak!

Joe Rogan 42:02 Turn off your safety, um-

Ari Shaffir 42:03 << Turn on your hot light. >>

Guest 42:06 Uh, Greece.

Ari Shaffir 42:06 Uh, what is-

Guest 42:08 What is Greece?

Ari Shaffir 42:09 What is the country Greece?

Joe Rogan 42:12 Oh, they mean Greece? (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 42:13 (laughs) What is the real name of the country Greece?

Guest 42:16 No, Greece.

Ari Shaffir 42:16 The real name of the country Greece?

Guest 42:18 I guess.

Ari Shaffir 42:18 What is it?

Guest 42:19 Uh, the ancient or modern name of the country is Hellas or Hellada.

Ari Shaffir 42:23 Hellada. Okay.

Joe Rogan 42:24 There you go. It's way different.

Guest 42:24 The official name is the Hellenic Republic.

Ari Shaffir 42:26 Wow. That's better (clears throat) than Greece.

Joe Rogan 42:29 It's tougher. It's tougher.

Ari Shaffir 42:30 It's not something you put on an axle.

Joe Rogan 42:31 It's not something you mix up with dancing.

Ari Shaffir 42:33 Yeah. << Greece is the word, is the word >> That's better. Hellenic Republic.

Guest 42:38 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 42:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:38 Republic of Helena?

Ari Shaffir 42:40 So, so that's one. We fucked that one up. I'm pretty sure we fucked up Turkey. I don't think they call Turkey, Turkey. Germany is Deutschland, right?

Joe Rogan 42:48 Deutschland, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 42:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:49 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 42:50 Right?

Guest 42:50 Turkey adopted it.

Joe Rogan 42:51 They took it. (laughs)

Guest 42:52 They adopted, it says they adopted its official name-

Joe Rogan 42:54 Wow.

Guest 42:54 ... known as, known in English as the Republic of Turkey.

Joe Rogan 42:56 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 42:56 I bet the butterball industry bribed them. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:00 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 43:00 It was probably some cross-promotion with Kellogg's. That's hilarious. Uh.

Joe Rogan 43:06 (laughs) Remember when Kazakhstan got mad at Ali G?

Ari Shaffir 43:08 Fucking real mad at him.

Joe Rogan 43:09 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 43:10 Real mad at him. Furious that he was making fun... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:13 I'm so mad, it just made everybody happier.

Ari Shaffir 43:15 Dude, that Borat movie is one of my favorite movies ever.

Joe Rogan 43:18 That was one of the best.

Ari Shaffir 43:19 Oh.

Joe Rogan 43:19 One of the best comedies.

Ari Shaffir 43:21 It's so good. It's so good.

Joe Rogan 43:22 That's up there. Goddamn it was funny.

Ari Shaffir 43:24 It's so good. It is so good. You go back and watch it today, and you're like, "What in the fuck, man?"

Joe Rogan 43:27 I haven't seen it in a while.

Ari Shaffir 43:28 And again, that guy, he's just so good at fucking with people. He's so good-

Joe Rogan 43:34 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 43:34 ... at keeping a straight face while all this madness is going on. Like remember when he shit in the bag, and he was handing it to one of the people in the house in Georgia? Do you remember that?

Joe Rogan 43:44 (laughs) Oh yeah, at the end. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 43:46 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 43:47 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 43:47 He's like-

Joe Rogan 43:48 Do you know he fell, he fell asleep in that house in Georgia? It was like a plantation house. He was trying to get real racist around them. And then he fell asleep, 'cause they were drinking wine, and there was like a wine plantation. He fell asleep, and, but they were like, "He's gonna wake up, he's not gonna know what character he's in." Like the people with him.

Ari Shaffir 44:01 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 44:02 And then he, he didn't know what to do. But then he woke up, and he was just like right into it.

Ari Shaffir 44:06 Wow.

Joe Rogan 44:06 Like saw where he was, and was like, "Mm-hmm."

Ari Shaffir 44:09 So he... Oh my God, that's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 44:11 Yeah. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 44:12 Got blasted, woke up drunk, still realized who was Borat.

Joe Rogan 44:15 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 44:16 That's funny, man. And with Donald Trump, back in the day-

Joe Rogan 44:19 Oh yeah.

Ari Shaffir 44:19 ... when he was Ali G.

Joe Rogan 44:20 Oh yeah.

Ari Shaffir 44:20 Did you ever see the Ali G movie?

Joe Rogan 44:21 Trump has the same hair.

Ari Shaffir 44:22 You ever see the Ali G movie? He made a movie that was only available in the UK.

Joe Rogan 44:26 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 44:26 I actually bought a special VHS player just to play it.

Joe Rogan 44:29 Really?

Ari Shaffir 44:29 Yeah, because it was one of those ones that was... There used to be two for-

Joe Rogan 44:32 Beta?

Ari Shaffir 44:32 ... two formats. No, VHS. There used to be two formats of VHS. There was a format that they used over in the UK, and there was a format that we use here. And they're not compatible. And you could, you'd have to get, either get like a universal player, one that plays all formats, or you had to get a separate one. So I went and got one that plays both. But I got (laughs) it specifically-

Joe Rogan 44:52 (laughs) Just to play the Ali G movie?

Ari Shaffir 44:53 ... so I could get the Ali G TV shows too. Used to be able to buy the TV shows online in VHS.

Joe Rogan 44:58 The TV shows were great, yeah. Oh, those are great.

Ari Shaffir 44:58 The ones from England.

Joe Rogan 45:00 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 45:01 Dude, I'm telling you, man. This fucking movie was great.

Joe Rogan 45:03 Before HBO got it, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 45:04 It's so silly. Especially if you're high.

Joe Rogan 45:06 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 45:06 It's really funny. It's really fun. And I heard people tell me it's terrible. I'm like, "Dude, uh, don't talk to me." I fucking laughed entirely through this movie. It's, if you're-

Joe Rogan 45:15 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 45:15 ... if you're a stoner, this is an outstanding movie.

Joe Rogan 45:18 That's it?

Ari Shaffir 45:18 What is it called? Ali G Indahouse. It's from 2002. Dude, it's so good. It's a lost gem. It's one of those-

Joe Rogan 45:26 Is that the dude from The Office?

Ari Shaffir 45:29 Um, I don't remember.

Joe Rogan 45:30 The dude that was with him, the white guy?

Guest 45:32 Pro- probably.

Joe Rogan 45:32 Yeah, maybe.

Ari Shaffir 45:34 Is it... I don't remember.

Joe Rogan 45:35 In the British Office. Yeah, I think it was, in Hitchhiker's Guide.

Ari Shaffir 45:38 Either way, it's-

Joe Rogan 45:39 Yeah, Sam Aldard. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 45:40 Fucking, it's fucking great. It's fucking great. It's really funny, man. Really funny.

Guest 45:50 All right.

Joe Rogan 45:51 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 45:51 There's a dog licking his balls. This is ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Oh, this is fun. You ever see, um-

Ari Shaffir 45:55 Very good sh-

Joe Rogan 45:55 ... Tom Green's shitty al- amazing movie?

Ari Shaffir 45:58 Yes. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:59 Uh, Freddy Got Fingered?

Ari Shaffir 45:59 Yeah. Dude-

Joe Rogan 46:00 Oh God, that was funny.

Ari Shaffir 46:01 There's some funny moments in that movie, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:03 They call that the worst... There was another one star movie, they call that the worst movie of all time.

Ari Shaffir 46:06 Never once g-

Joe Rogan 46:06 And then you finally watch it, and you're like, "This is legitimately funny."

Ari Shaffir 46:08 It's funny shit.

Joe Rogan 46:09 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 46:09 Funny shit.

Joe Rogan 46:09 So like, real laughs.

Ari Shaffir 46:10 That's another one if you watch it today, you'd be laughing hard.

Joe Rogan 46:13 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 46:13 Especially if you're a stoner. Remember when the baby was on the umbilical cord-

Joe Rogan 46:16 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 46:16 ... swinging it around the room? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:20 At the end he like lands at his house-

Ari Shaffir 46:22 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 46:22 ... in like the desert somewhere.

Ari Shaffir 46:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:23 It's like, it- it kind of should already be over, and it's like he's still going. And then everyone's greeting him. Him and his dad, uh, like Rip Torn or somebody, they're greeting him. And one of the signs says, "Why is this movie still going?" (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 46:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:36 This whole fucking show was crazy.

Ari Shaffir 46:38 That show was amazing.

Joe Rogan 46:39 Goddamn.

Ari Shaffir 46:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:41 It was the best. It was like I, we, you'd never seen anything like that, that and Jackass.

Ari Shaffir 46:45 And he took some risks.

Joe Rogan 46:47 Same time. Goddamn.

Ari Shaffir 46:47 Yeah. There was a lot of people taking serious risks on TV back then.

Joe Rogan 46:51 Yeah. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 46:54 You know?

Joe Rogan 46:55 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 46:56 How about, um, what's his face? Um, um, the fucking... Goddammit. The X experi... What is his name that does the fucking... The, the guy who would do the, um-

Joe Rogan 47:09 Get There.

Ari Shaffir 47:09 ... pranks on people and put makeup on and shit?

Joe Rogan 47:11 Get There? Jamie Kennedy Experiment?

Ari Shaffir 47:13 Yes. Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 47:14 X, X-

Ari Shaffir 47:14 How am I not getting Jamie Kennedy out of my mouth?

Joe Rogan 47:16 You are.

Ari Shaffir 47:17 Weed, uh, my tolerance, that whole month off-

Joe Rogan 47:19 It went down, huh?

Ari Shaffir 47:19 My tolerance is through the fucking floor.

Joe Rogan 47:21 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 47:22 I have nothing.

Joe Rogan 47:23 I was smart this time. I went into it going like, "Give me some like 14%."

Ari Shaffir 47:26 This is 40.

Joe Rogan 47:27 Whatever. 40.

Ari Shaffir 47:27 This is that goddamn Kevin Smith shit. He gets obliterated all day. Um, Jamie Kennedy had a great show.

Joe Rogan 47:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 47:33 D- Jamie Kennedy experi- Experiment? Is that what it was?

Joe Rogan 47:36 Experiment, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 47:37 That was a great fucking show. He had some holi-

Joe Rogan 47:40 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 47:40 How about the one where he talked those guys-

Joe Rogan 47:41 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 47:41 ... into being gay Chippendales dancers? Remember?

Joe Rogan 47:44 (laughs) He did some good stuff.

Ari Shaffir 47:45 Remember like, uh, like-

Joe Rogan 47:46 I don't remember that one.

Ari Shaffir 47:47 It was Guys Gone Nuts.

Joe Rogan 47:49 (laughs) Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 47:50 It was like he was a sleazy producer, and he was telling these guys that they were gonna be in this new show called Guys Gone Nuts. And then eventually it got further down the line, he made them dance and stuff, but then eventually it got further down the line where they were gonna have to do gay stuff. And they were like-

Joe Rogan 48:05 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 48:05 ... he was getting them on (laughs) on film saying how much gay stuff they'd be willing to do.

Joe Rogan 48:10 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 48:10 It was, it was legitimately ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 48:13 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 48:13 And he's this sleazy promoter treating them like they're, you know...Male prostitutes.

Joe Rogan 48:19 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 48:20 It's very funny. It was very funny. And it's another one that's real, these are not actors or anything.

Joe Rogan 48:23 You remember when he got Holzmann to wipe his feet?

Ari Shaffir 48:25 No, I don't.

Joe Rogan 48:27 (laughs) He said he was a king. He was playing a king. (laughs) Or a Saudi prince. (laughs) Holzmann was just somebody he got. And Holzmann knew-

Ari Shaffir 48:35 So Holzmann was like an actor for it?

Joe Rogan 48:37 No.

Ari Shaffir 48:38 No?

Joe Rogan 48:39 No.

Ari Shaffir 48:39 Holzmann had no idea this was happening?

Joe Rogan 48:41 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 48:41 He wiped the guy's feet because he thought the guy was a king?

Joe Rogan 48:43 He, actually it was like, "In my country, you're supposed to wipe somebody's feet." And he had Holzmann-

Ari Shaffir 48:46 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 48:46 ... who used to open mics with him.

Ari Shaffir 48:47 Oh my God. So Holzmann didn't know?

Joe Rogan 48:49 Yeah. Just full, full makeup, the accent.

Ari Shaffir 48:52 The makeup's amazing.

Joe Rogan 48:53 And then he's wiping his feet, and then he's just like, "Wow." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 48:57 Those guys who put that crazy latex shit on your face when they can give you a fake nose and fake cheeks, like, you can't tell. You can't tell. Especially not someone with vision problems.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Yeah. And for that, you're looking for it.

Ari Shaffir 49:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:08 You ever hear about Jim Carrey after Man on the Moon?

Ari Shaffir 49:11 No.

Joe Rogan 49:11 He got those people to do the makeup for him, to look like-

Ari Shaffir 49:14 Andy Kaufman.

Joe Rogan 49:14 ... Andy Kaufman and Zmuda.

Ari Shaffir 49:16 Right. Tony Clifton, right?

Joe Rogan 49:18 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 49:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:18 He got them to make him up as whatever, and that the rumors that I heard, so I obviously have no idea.

Ari Shaffir 49:25 I love rumors.

Joe Rogan 49:25 Put his, put him up in just makeup, then he drove a cab around and drove fares around, just so he could hear what people are actually saying when they don't know it's-

Ari Shaffir 49:33 Wow.

Joe Rogan 49:33 ... Jim Carrey in the room.

Ari Shaffir 49:35 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 49:36 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 49:38 Yeah, I could see-

Joe Rogan 49:39 Pretty weird.

Ari Shaffir 49:39 ... when you become someone like Jim Carrey, it's gotta be weird as fuck. He probably wanted to go on a little vacation with a fake face.

Joe Rogan 49:45 Can't go anywhere normal. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 49:45 Yeah. If it was really easy to do-

Joe Rogan 49:48 I like that idea.

Ari Shaffir 49:48 ... if it didn't take hours to apply-

Joe Rogan 49:50 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 49:51 ... you probably wanna do that just to see how everybody treats you.

Joe Rogan 49:54 Just be normal? Oh, that's great.

Ari Shaffir 49:56 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:56 What a good idea, especially if you're that big. He can't go anywhere in the world.

Ari Shaffir 50:00 Well, he's also, now, he's become some new thing, right? He's like-

Joe Rogan 50:03 Psychedelic.

Ari Shaffir 50:04 Yeah, he's not really, uh, an actor anymore. He paints and talks about things, and he's into psychedelics.

Joe Rogan 50:13 Way in. Like, everything he talks about is like, he doesn't mention the psychedelics.

Guest 50:17 He's still in stuff. He's in that new Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

Joe Rogan 50:20 Yeah, I think he's still doing stuff.

Guest 50:21 He was in like some TV show recently too.

Ari Shaffir 50:23 What is it, Sonic the Hedgehog's, does he do a voice? Is that what it is?

Guest 50:25 He's like the bad guy.

Ari Shaffir 50:26 Oh, the voice?

Guest 50:27 He's like, no, he's a full-

Ari Shaffir 50:28 He's an actual human?

Guest 50:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 50:29 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 50:30 Yep, yep, yep.

Ari Shaffir 50:30 Oh, so it's a live movie?

Guest 50:31 Yeah, yeah, it got-

Ari Shaffir 50:32 Oh.

Guest 50:32 ... big controversy but the trailer just came out today, that's why I was in-

Joe Rogan 50:34 And he was on a TV show like a year ago, I tried it.

Ari Shaffir 50:36 Are the nerds mad that it's a movie?

Guest 50:37 They were mad, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:38 Of course they'd be mad.

Ari Shaffir 50:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:39 They can't be happy that they're making Sonic into a movie, and getting Jim Carrey, one of the biggest actors in the world. They're taking it seriously.

Ari Shaffir 50:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:47 How could ... When, when would the nerds be okay when they hear a movie's coming out?

Ari Shaffir 50:50 They're never okay with anything.

Joe Rogan 50:51 Batman, the first Batman with Michael Keaton, they were, I don't ... Didn't seem like they were happy.

Ari Shaffir 50:55 I remember when there was, one of the biggest controversies I ever heard about a role was when they were gonna have Tom Cruise play, uh, in, uh, Interview with the Vampire.

Joe Rogan 51:04 Really?

Ari Shaffir 51:04 Yeah, when he was the lead, he was Lestat.

Joe Rogan 51:06 Why, 'cause it was his beloved book?

Ari Shaffir 51:08 Anne Rice, Anne Rice did not want Tom Cruise to play Lestat. This is like this super intense character in these excellent books. You ever read those books?

Joe Rogan 51:16 Uh-uh.

Ari Shaffir 51:17 They're very good. Um, and she, you know, had this vision for what her vampire king character was like, the lead-

Joe Rogan 51:26 What'd she want?

Ari Shaffir 51:26 ... and the vampire. She wanted someone who was just more depth and intelligence and just someone who had more layers. And she felt like Tom Cruise was like Top Gun, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 51:36 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 51:36 He's like Color of Money. But that little crazy fuck can act his ass off.

Joe Rogan 51:40 What was that?

Ari Shaffir 51:41 He can act his fucking ass off, and he, he was really good in that movie. I mean, he fucking nailed it. Like, when he's like an angry vampire in that movie and he's yelling at that little girl-

Joe Rogan 51:50 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 51:50 ... you're like, "Holy shit. Like, I am buying this madness." He's, he was excellent.

Joe Rogan 51:56 He was good for a long time.

Ari Shaffir 51:57 Oh, he's good, dude.

Joe Rogan 51:58 He still is like-

Ari Shaffir 51:59 He's fucking gr- he's crazy as fuck, but he's great.

Joe Rogan 52:01 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 52:02 He's gotta be. You know?

Joe Rogan 52:03 Yeah, I wonder if some lady should-

Ari Shaffir 52:03 He's hook, line, and sinker w- sinker with the fucking sci-fi religion.

Joe Rogan 52:07 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 52:07 But his-

Joe Rogan 52:08 Sci-Fi religion. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 52:09 But his ... That's what it is.

Joe Rogan 52:10 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 52:11 But his acting is fucking s- still. He can go for it, man. He, and those, um, th- those, uh, sci- what is that, Edge of Tomorrow? It was, uh-

Joe Rogan 52:21 Yeah, that was the one where people gave up on him.

Ari Shaffir 52:23 ... that's the one where he lives over and over and over again? Yes.

Joe Rogan 52:23 People had already given up on him for the movie or two before.

Ari Shaffir 52:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:26 And then that movie came out and nobody saw it, but it was so fucking good.

Ari Shaffir 52:29 So good. That movie is so good.

Joe Rogan 52:31 And every-

Ari Shaffir 52:32 It's one of the most underrated science fiction films of all time.

Joe Rogan 52:33 Living the same day over and over again.

Ari Shaffir 52:34 Yes.

Joe Rogan 52:34 And every time I'd be like, "No, 'cause they would do this."

Ari Shaffir 52:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:36 And then they did, they would cover that.

Ari Shaffir 52:38 Yep.

Joe Rogan 52:38 Like, oh yeah, okay, you're right.

Ari Shaffir 52:39 Yeah, yeah. It's amazing.

Joe Rogan 52:41 I've been on rabbit holes for YouTube, I've been on a rabbit hole of, um, Groundhog Day. It's like the same thing, like living the same day over and over again.

Ari Shaffir 52:48 Right.

Joe Rogan 52:49 And one of them was how long did Bill Murray spend day after day? Like what was the total amount of time?

Ari Shaffir 52:56 What was the total amount of time?

Joe Rogan 52:57 They think it's around, 'cause they were like, it's death, he had to do it this many times.

Ari Shaffir 53:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 53:01 It's, you know, bowling a perfect game, all these different things.

Ari Shaffir 53:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 53:03 They said about 30 years.

Ari Shaffir 53:05 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 53:06 Of living the same day over and over again.

Ari Shaffir 53:09 You know what I always used to think?

Joe Rogan 53:11 Yeah. And then you would do everything.

Ari Shaffir 53:12 Yeah, as I was getting older, one of the things I have thought is like, why do, why do I have this expectation that at some point in time, a person stops learning and growing? Like, I never expected people in their 60s like being better people and learning more-

Joe Rogan 53:27 Like, they're done.

Ari Shaffir 53:28 ... and, and, yeah, they're done. Whoever that guy is, he's done.

Joe Rogan 53:30 'Cause people do stop.

Ari Shaffir 53:31 Right, but, but, but why?

Joe Rogan 53:32 Yeah, why?

Ari Shaffir 53:32 So my thought was like, why do I have these expectations for people instead of just being open minded? I almost assume that-

Joe Rogan 53:39 That they're not trying anything new.

Ari Shaffir 53:39 ... when people hit a certain age, they're fucking done. They, they throw in the towel. But I, but I see-

Joe Rogan 53:44 But you do meet some people who don't do that, right? Who are like taking an art class.

Ari Shaffir 53:47 100%.

Joe Rogan 53:47 Somebody's mom or grandmother-

Ari Shaffir 53:48 100%.

Joe Rogan 53:48 ... that's like, "Oh, I'm, I'm learning archery." And it's like, well, that's cool.

Ari Shaffir 53:51 When Bourdain was 58 and he started getting seriously fucking into jujitsu, like seriously-

Joe Rogan 53:56 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 53:56 ... into jujitsu, I was like, "Look at you, motherfucker, I love it."

Joe Rogan 53:58 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 53:59 That's how y- I mean-

Joe Rogan 54:01 Like, loved it and went for it.

Ari Shaffir 54:01 Dude, like, taking lessons, private lessons every day for an hour, and then training and rolling with people for an hour every day.

Joe Rogan 54:10 Wow, really?

Ari Shaffir 54:10 Seven days a week, like heroin. Like how he was, uh, used to be addicted to heroin? He got addicted to jujitsu, all in.

Joe Rogan 54:17 Drug addict.

Ari Shaffir 54:17 Developed a six-pack.

Joe Rogan 54:18 Really?

Ari Shaffir 54:19 Got jacked. Dude.

Joe Rogan 54:20 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 54:20 Jacked. There's a picture of him walking down the street in, in Italy, full on six-pack.

Joe Rogan 54:26 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 54:27 I mean, you look at him, like, th- this is the guy that I used to know that was on high... He was on, um, uh, high cholesterol medication. He was on statins 'cause of his diet, 'cause he's on the road drinking wine, eating fucking this and that and fatty foods, and a lot of sugar, and just drinking whatever the fuck he wants, right?

Joe Rogan 54:44 Yeah. And then he's-

Ari Shaffir 54:45 And he got fat. You know, not fat like a big, fat guy, but he definitely developed, like, a little belly. Then boom.

Joe Rogan 54:51 Damn.

Ari Shaffir 54:51 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 54:52 He looks like Dan Bilzerian.

Ari Shaffir 54:54 Dude, he got into jujitsu and completely transformed his body.

Joe Rogan 54:58 Fuck.

Ari Shaffir 54:58 Lost all the weight, stopped eating sugar, started eating... Uh, stopped eating carbs, started eating really healthy, cut way back on the drinking, and developed a goddamn legitimate six-pack.

Joe Rogan 55:09 Super healthy. He's gonna live forever.

Ari Shaffir 55:11 I think that's a nine... That's a seven-pack. That bottom one is a solid one.

Joe Rogan 55:15 Oh, yeah, so we got one, two, three, four-

Ari Shaffir 55:16 Right? So you got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. That's a seven-pack.

Joe Rogan 55:19 ... three, four...

Ari Shaffir 55:19 People always like to say eight-pack, but I don't ever see a separation in that bottom one.

Joe Rogan 55:23 The top-

Ari Shaffir 55:24 He gotta be, like, some kinda turtle person, you know?

Joe Rogan 55:26 One, two, three, four, five... Yeah, yeah, it's like a long one.

Ari Shaffir 55:28 Yeah. Anyway.

Joe Rogan 55:28 It's the tan line -

Ari Shaffir 55:29 Point is-

Joe Rogan 55:29 ... that makes it look like-

Ari Shaffir 55:30 ... the dude transformed his fucking body, completely. He's showing a lot of dick root there, though. I'm not happy about that.

Joe Rogan 55:35 Yeah, I mean, it's low hangers.

Ari Shaffir 55:36 Pull up. Pull up.

Joe Rogan 55:37 Like, I think he, like-

Ari Shaffir 55:38 Pull up, son.

Joe Rogan 55:38 ... bought those shorts, like, 20 pounds ago.

Ari Shaffir 55:40 (sighs) No. Maybe. It could be that.

Joe Rogan 55:42 Where'd you get that ball?

Ari Shaffir 55:44 When did I get that ball? Oh, um, who brought that in? Oh.

Guest 55:48 Le Duc.

Ari Shaffir 55:50 Dave Le Duc, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:50 Who's Dave Le Duc?

Ari Shaffir 55:51 Dave Le Duc is a, uh, Lethwei champion. He's, uh... He, he fights in the most brutal form of stand-up striking with a headbutt, and they ki-

Joe Rogan 55:59 Really?

Ari Shaffir 55:59 ... kick, soccer kick each other on the way down and-

Joe Rogan 56:01 Where'd he get that? Thailand, probably?

Ari Shaffir 56:03 He got it-

Joe Rogan 56:03 Or, or Burma?

Ari Shaffir 56:04 In, uh, I think it was Myanmar.

Joe Rogan 56:07 Myanmar. Burma.

Ari Shaffir 56:08 Yes.

Joe Rogan 56:08 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 56:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:08 Dude, they play these games there.

Ari Shaffir 56:10 Yes, he showed us the game.

Joe Rogan 56:10 The volleyball games.

Ari Shaffir 56:11 Yeah, that's, that's one of those balls.

Joe Rogan 56:12 It's the best.

Ari Shaffir 56:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:13 Oh, my God.

Ari Shaffir 56:14 Crazy, right?

Joe Rogan 56:14 They, they get above the net with just their leg.

Ari Shaffir 56:17 With their feet. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:18 Uh, it's... And they play, first of all, barefoot most of the time.

Ari Shaffir 56:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:21 I saw a guy play a one-on-three for money.

Ari Shaffir 56:23 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 56:24 He was, like, amazing.

Ari Shaffir 56:25 He was that good?

Joe Rogan 56:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 56:26 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 56:26 And these other guys were just, like, laughing about it. They were trying to, like... Fuck, he was spiking it. He spikes it down.

Ari Shaffir 56:31 With his foot.

Joe Rogan 56:32 Yeah. That was my second day in Yangon, and you're seeing this stuff, and you're like, "Well, how are they doing this?" And barefoot on concrete.

Ari Shaffir 56:37 I seen it only on, uh, a dirt floor that they were barefoot.

Joe Rogan 56:40 That's a lot of dirt.

Ari Shaffir 56:41 Barefoot on concrete too?

Joe Rogan 56:42 But this one, yeah. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 56:42 Wow. Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 56:43 It's, it's nuts.

Ari Shaffir 56:45 That is crazy.

Joe Rogan 56:45 It's so cool. It's one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Ari Shaffir 56:49 Well-

Joe Rogan 56:49 And they keep it going. They have circles where they just get going and, like-

Ari Shaffir 56:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:52 They do the kick this w- I mean, I'm sure you talked about it. They do... This is fine. I get that. But when it goes over your head, doing this-

Ari Shaffir 56:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:58 So they hit this straight-

Ari Shaffir 57:00 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 57:00 ... and know how to pop it right back up.

Ari Shaffir 57:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 57:02 I've tried it a hundred times. It... Best I can do is kick it that way.

Ari Shaffir 57:05 I think it's one of those things that if your body doesn't develop throwing your legs around-

Joe Rogan 57:10 Grow a body.

Ari Shaffir 57:10 ... like that-

Joe Rogan 57:10 Yeah. Oh, it's like fucking-

Ari Shaffir 57:11 ... it's really hard to do.

Joe Rogan 57:11 ... how the fuck?

Ari Shaffir 57:13 That was the thing about TaeKwonDo. Like, when, uh, I was teaching, you would get people that were, like, in their 30s. It was really hard for them to learn it, really hard for them to get good.

Joe Rogan 57:23 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 57:23 So they can, like, whip their leg around. But if you get those little kids, when they're, like, five and six-

Joe Rogan 57:28 And they learn how-

Ari Shaffir 57:28 ... you get them, teach them how to whip their legs and the things.

Joe Rogan 57:31 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 57:31 Here they go.

Joe Rogan 57:32 Oh, my God. They're so good.

Guest 57:33 This is one versus three.

Ari Shaffir 57:34 Oh, this is... This is the one?

Guest 57:35 That's the one I've seen. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:35 This is the one?

Guest 57:35 Well, I don't know if it's the one he saw, but this is a-

Joe Rogan 57:37 Yeah, you can use your head.

Guest 57:38 ... one-versus-three guy.

Ari Shaffir 57:39 Well, s- this seems like these guys are fucking it up.

Guest 57:42 Well, they're also Americans, so they're good.

Joe Rogan 57:43 No, they're good.

Ari Shaffir 57:44 Oh, they're Americans that are trying to play?

Joe Rogan 57:45 They're playing good, though.

Ari Shaffir 57:46 Oh, my God, look at him. Oh, he fucked up.

Joe Rogan 57:48 Oh, you fucked up, loser, dork.

Ari Shaffir 57:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:50 He's wearing a fucking helmet. No, it's a bandana.

Ari Shaffir 57:55 This is a wild game though, man. Very difficult to do.

Joe Rogan 57:57 Oh, my God.

Ari Shaffir 57:58 Oh, he's getting jacked.

Joe Rogan 57:58 Ha ha, you got beaten. You're not better than everyone.

Ari Shaffir 58:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:03 Stupid.

Ari Shaffir 58:04 All right. Um, anyway.

Joe Rogan 58:05 May not be the best.

Ari Shaffir 58:06 Killer game.

Joe Rogan 58:07 Yeah. Oh, man, I'm... Ah.

Ari Shaffir 58:09 If you could learn that, how to whip your legs around when you're, like, eight or nine years old, as you get older, you'll, you'll maintain that sort of leg dexterity.

Joe Rogan 58:18 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 58:19 You know?

Joe Rogan 58:19 I sent one of those back. I have one of those in my apartment.

Ari Shaffir 58:21 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 58:22 Yeah, I sent it back. I went... I took it from, from Myanmar to Thailand, and then I was like, "I need to send this to myself."

Ari Shaffir 58:27 Back it out.

Joe Rogan 58:27 'Cause I can't, can't get it back.

Ari Shaffir 58:28 Back in New York? Right.

Joe Rogan 58:29 Yeah. And they're like, "Oh, we can get it there in two days." I'm like, "No, I don't need it there." I'm like, "Slower than that." (laughs) Like, "What's cheaper?" And they're like, "I mean, a week?" I'm like, "Dude, I... I'm in no rush. I won't be there for, like, months." They're like, "We can get you there in three months for, like, $4." And I'm like, "Yup, that's the one." (laughs) "No rush on this."

Ari Shaffir 58:44 That's, that's the deal? Three months for $4?

Joe Rogan 58:46 It was, like, so slow. It was by mule or something.

Ari Shaffir 58:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:49 And I was like, "I'm not there, so go ahead."

Ari Shaffir 58:51 Somebody, somebody muled it away.

Joe Rogan 58:53 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 58:53 By mule meaning someone stuffed it in their ass.

Joe Rogan 58:55 (laughs) The whole fucking box? Huh.

Ari Shaffir 58:59 It's a weird game. It's... That's one where, like, you need a certain specific kind of athleticism.

Joe Rogan 59:07 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 59:07 Like, if someone was an outstanding basketball player-

Joe Rogan 59:09 That's fun.

Ari Shaffir 59:09 ... or a football player, you're not gonna be good at that. Right? That's not just pure athleticism. That's, uh, a weird leg dexterity skill.

Joe Rogan 59:17 Oh, my God. How do they do it?

Ari Shaffir 59:19 I mean, and think about, like, what I... I can throw a lot of crazy kicks. I can't do what those guys are doing.

Joe Rogan 59:24 No.

Ari Shaffir 59:24 I don't know how to do that. I can kick over my head. I can do a split.

Joe Rogan 59:28 Really?

Ari Shaffir 59:28 I mean, there's a lot of wild shit still.

Joe Rogan 59:29 You have to learn to kick it forward.

Ari Shaffir 59:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have to learn how to jump up and you're, you're whipping down and kicking the thing down.

Joe Rogan 59:35 Yeah, you are just trying to get a leg up. But it's up and s- spik- And they get their foot-

Ari Shaffir 59:38 I think you'd have to be crazy flexible too. It looks like you gotta be crazy flexible.

Joe Rogan 59:42 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 59:43 Like, I'm watching their legs fly up. There's no resistance at all.

Joe Rogan 59:45 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 59:45 And most people have a lot of resistance when you try to lift your leg up.

Joe Rogan 59:48 They're doing it all the time.

Ari Shaffir 59:49 All the time.

Joe Rogan 59:50 Pshh.

Ari Shaffir 59:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:51 When are you doing your next special?

Ari Shaffir 59:53 I don't think I'm thinking about it.

Joe Rogan 59:54 Good.

Ari Shaffir 59:54 I'm, right now, just riding.

Joe Rogan 59:56 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 59:57 Just enjoying performing.And, uh, when I get the- the bug, when it feels like, "Hmm, this isn't there," I wanna ... You know, I was thinking about ... I- I actually talked about this with Malcolm Gladwell in the last podcast. I was talk- I was quoting Jeselnik. Jeselnik, he has a three-year process. He does it in the clubs, just around LA, develops an hour.

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 Workout rooms.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:16 Then he takes it on the road for, in clubs, and then he takes in on the road the next year in theaters. So it's a three-year process. Like, that might be the way to go.

Joe Rogan 1:00:25 Yeah, Louis had that with ... But not in the three-year, just like in the ... when he was doing them, like, you know-

Ari Shaffir 1:00:29 He was doing them one year.

Joe Rogan 1:00:30 ... three months, four months, four months.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:31 Yeah, he was doing, he was doing a new special in a year.

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:36 Which I guess you could if that's all you did and you just really dug into it, but I think things need time to cook.

Joe Rogan 1:00:42 Also, I find there's sometimes where it's like, I watch Attell a lot in New