Joe Rogan Experience #1390 - Tim Dillon

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (knock on table) Three, two, one.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (knock on table) Three, two, one. Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the Megyn Kelly Fan- no, Megyn McCain.

   2. TDTim Dillon0:07

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      I fucked it up.

   4. TDTim Dillon0:08

      Megyn McCain. President of the Megyn McCain Fan Club.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      Has she reached out to you at all?

   6. TDTim Dillon0:11

      She's blocked me.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      No.

   8. TDTim Dillon0:13

      She blocked me and I, I didn't tag her in the video, because I'm not that, that guy.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Right.

   10. TDTim Dillon0:18

       But I did, you know, I mean, I put it out there into the world.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       (laughs)

   12. TDTim Dillon0:23

       She's not thrilled, probably.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Uh-huh. Yeah.

   14. TDTim Dillon0:26

       I know somebody that knows her pretty well.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Yeah.

   16. TDTim Dillon0:28

       And they said that she is not happy with my depiction of her. She did, though, after the first video, she lost a lot of weight.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       Seemed like she put it back on.

   18. TDTim Dillon0:39

       She did, and it's-

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       (laughs)

   20. TDTim Dillon0:40

       ... I yo-yo with her. So when she gets thinner, I get thinner so I can do her.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       (laughs)

   22. TDTim Dillon0:46

       And when she plumps up, I plump back up. So that's where we're at, is that I just kind of mirror her.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Hmm.

   24. TDTim Dillon0:52

       Um-

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       How uncomfortable.

   26. TDTim Dillon0:54

       She's, I would, you know, I was, 'cause, you know, sometimes I'll go back to New York to do shows and I imagine, like, "What if I'm in a restaurant and I see her?" You know, what would a, what would a meeting be like?

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       What-

   28. TDTim Dillon1:05

       Because I have no-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       ... real ill will. It's just comedy.

   30. TDTim Dillon1:08

       It's just comedy.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      whom she wrote..." Oh, is that the parent?

   2. NANarrator15:02

      Mm-hmm.

   3. TDTim Dillon15:02

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      It's her parent.

   5. TDTim Dillon15:04

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      No, the Barnett's. They're the Barnett's.

   7. NANarrator15:06

      Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're his other son.

   8. TDTim Dillon15:07

      They're the, the ones who would, uh, adopt her.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Right, so Christine's the one that... But w- she took... So she left the husband and moved to Canada?

   10. NANarrator15:13

       Yeah, they're divorced now. It's just

   11. NANarrator15:14

       They're different families.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:14

       Oh, well that's... That'll do it.

   13. TDTim Dillon15:16

       It's a tough thing for a marriage t- to survive.

   14. NANarrator15:18

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       Yeah, you survive, you rented a- an adult.

   16. TDTim Dillon15:20

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       You rented an adult-

   18. NANarrator15:21

       You rent to an adult for a couple years.

   19. TDTim Dillon15:22

       ... who was gonna kill you.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:23

       Pretending to be a kid, pushing you into an electric fence.

   21. TDTim Dillon15:25

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:25

       (laughs)

   23. TDTim Dillon15:25

       I feel like they (laughs) they had a dinner and they said-

   24. NANarrator15:28

       Oh.

   25. TDTim Dillon15:28

       ... "Whatever in our marriage made us think this was a good idea, we should just separate."

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:32

       What do you got?

   27. NANarrator15:33

       They got, they got arrested for abandoning her in that apartment.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       What?

   29. NANarrator15:37

       The story goes w- further I belie- it sounds like.

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       Oh my God. "In 2019, prosecutors in Tippecanoe, Indiana..." That's your number one problem right there.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Geez. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      ... Your partner was handcuffed to a tree, and they were attached to a bungee cord that was attached to a fucking helicopter. Okay? And the helicopter was ... Had this bungee cord taut, and they're flying in the sky above a giant canyon. I mean, way the fuck up there, right? So you got these keys, and you're working these keys. And the idea is the first person to get the key lock open, right? You unlock the thing, and then pyong, the person goes-

   2. TDTim Dillon30:22

      Geez.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:22

      ... shooting into the sky. And I remember seeing them, going, "What if something snaps? What if something breaks?"

   4. TDTim Dillon30:26

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:26

      "What if we watch someone fall to their death?" Like, "What the fuck are we doing?"

   6. TDTim Dillon30:29

      You know, you'd just have a bunch of executives going, "Ugh." They'd just make a face, you know?

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:33

      (laughs)

   8. TDTim Dillon30:33

      They would just go, "Ugh."

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:35

      Yeah.

   10. TDTim Dillon30:35

       "Not great."

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       I had a joke about it that they were gonna kill us all, and then g- ... Gun us down, and then blame it on the terrorists.

   12. TDTim Dillon30:40

       Right. (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:41

       And like, "Don't ... Don't let the terrorists take away your Fear Factor."

   14. TDTim Dillon30:43

       That's ... Yeah. (laughs) Right, right, right, right.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       "Now back with Mario Lopez."

   16. TDTim Dillon30:45

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       And I would just joke ar- ... I was always joking around how Mario Lopez was gonna replace me.

   18. TDTim Dillon30:49

       Did you ever feel weird morally about it 'cause you have these people that are coming in that are putting themselves in these positions?

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:55

       No, because I woulda done it.

   20. TDTim Dillon30:56

       Right.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       I woulda done it when I was broke. I woulda eaten an animal dick.

   22. TDTim Dillon30:59

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       I woulda let you throw puke in my face. Like- (laughs)

   24. TDTim Dillon31:00

       Right. There's-

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       There's-

   26. TDTim Dillon31:01

       There are people that we know who will do it now, you know?

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah.

   28. TDTim Dillon31:03

       Absolutely, yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       Everybody that works at the store.

   30. TDTim Dillon31:05

       Yeah. "We'll all do it now." And-
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. You have to,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      country?

   2. TDTim Dillon45:00

      Yeah. You have to, you have to be a little amped.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      A little amped up.

   4. TDTim Dillon45:03

      He's definitely amped.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      Got a little piece of something.

   6. TDTim Dillon45:05

      But I li-, I like seeing him ... I like seeing him, you know, when he goes big.

   7. NANarrator45:09

      What as a sidebar, uh, South Dakota today started a new, uh, campaign, anti-meth campaign, but it is, uh, onmeth.com and-

   8. TDTim Dillon45:17

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:17

      Yeah.

   10. NANarrator45:17

       ... meth, we're on it, is the slogan.

   11. TDTim Dillon45:20

       ... that-

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:20

       Oh, my God.

   13. TDTim Dillon45:20

       ... they spent over 450 grand figure in this out.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:22

       I mean, there's not anybody in-

   15. TDTim Dillon45:23

       What? (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       Did you spend how much?

   17. TDTim Dillon45:25

       450 grand of taxpayer money to figure this out.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:27

       Dude. Oh, my God. Meth addiction.

   19. TDTim Dillon45:28

       This is why people hate the government, 'cause nobody was able to stop this and say, "Hey, this is not the best."

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       This is the dumbest fucking ad campaign I've ever seen in my life. "Meth: We're On It." That sounds like a fucking Onion article.

   21. TDTim Dillon45:39

       It's like a rap song or something. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       Like a bad rap song.

   23. TDTim Dillon45:41

       This is so South Da-

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:43

       Does it seem like an Onion article?

   25. TDTim Dillon45:44

       I love what it says. It goes, "South Dakota has a problem. There isn't a single solution because meth is widespread, but we can approach it from different angles so it doesn't take over counties, towns, neighborhoods. Let's work together. Meth: We're On It." God.

   26. JRJoe Rogan45:57

       Mm. What's up with that fucking brown water? Turn that back up. Put that back on. How about you fix that fucking toilet water you got your kids swimming around in?

   27. TDTim Dillon46:05

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:05

       Look at that water. It's disgusting.

   29. TDTim Dillon46:07

       Yeah. Meth is probably-

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:07

       You got more than one problem.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:00:58

   So, I mean, eventually…

   1. TBTim Dillon (character bit)1:00:00

      He's talking about debt peonage. I got him at the World Bank in three weeks. (hand thuds on table) Fuck you!

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

      So, I mean, eventually YouTube's gonna go, "We're not... This... We're not participating in this." Are you worried about that?

   3. TDTim Dillon1:00:09

      I don't... I think I am a little bit because-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

      Gavin McGuinness is still on YouTube.

   5. TDTim Dillon1:00:12

      I know. That's true. That... Well, that's who I, I wanna be like. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

      That's your canary in the coal mine. (laughs)

   7. TDTim Dillon1:00:16

      Yeah, that's, that's... (laughs) I like-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      Stefan Molyneux, he's still on.

   9. TDTim Dillon1:00:20

      I appreciate this. Thank you.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       Yeah.

   11. TDTim Dillon1:00:21

       Yeah. No, I mean, listen, I like Gavin. Gavin's a nice guy. But the, the reality is, I think that YouTube seems like they're done with, like, small creators. My channel is pretty small, Tim Dillon Show. It's not a huge channel.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:34

       Let's make it bigger.

   13. TDTim Dillon1:00:35

       Let's make it bigger.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       Let's make it... Tim Dillon Show-

   15. TDTim Dillon1:00:36

       Tim Dillon Show-

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       ... on you, on YouTube.

   17. TDTim Dillon1:00:38

       ... on YouTube.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       Please-

   19. TDTim Dillon1:00:38

       On YouTube.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       ... subscribe, uh, contribute-

   21. TDTim Dillon1:00:40

       Yeah, so that when they get rid of it in a month, I can, I could at least get mad about something.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       Send positive comments only.

   23. TDTim Dillon1:00:45

       Yes.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:45

       Even if they're, like, sarcastic.

   25. TDTim Dillon1:00:48

       Yeah. (laughs) They'll be... Somehow the positive comments will be worse.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       You look great. (laughs)

   27. TDTim Dillon1:00:53

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       You don't look fat at all.

   29. TDTim Dillon1:00:56

       I mean, so we do these videos, they're a lot of fun.

Episode duration: 3:07:51