Joe Rogan Experience #1390 - Tim Dillon

Joe Rogan 0:00 (knock on table) Three, two, one. Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the Megyn Kelly Fan- no, Megyn McCain.

Tim Dillon 0:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:08 I fucked it up.

Tim Dillon 0:08 Megyn McCain. President of the Megyn McCain Fan Club.

Joe Rogan 0:11 Has she reached out to you at all?

Tim Dillon 0:11 She's blocked me.

Joe Rogan 0:12 No.

Tim Dillon 0:13 She blocked me and I, I didn't tag her in the video, because I'm not that, that guy.

Joe Rogan 0:18 Right.

Tim Dillon 0:18 But I did, you know, I mean, I put it out there into the world.

Joe Rogan 0:22 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 0:23 She's not thrilled, probably.

Joe Rogan 0:26 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Tim Dillon 0:26 I know somebody that knows her pretty well.

Joe Rogan 0:28 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 0:28 And they said that she is not happy with my depiction of her. She did, though, after the first video, she lost a lot of weight.

Joe Rogan 0:38 Seemed like she put it back on.

Tim Dillon 0:39 She did, and it's-

Joe Rogan 0:40 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 0:40 ... I yo-yo with her. So when she gets thinner, I get thinner so I can do her.

Joe Rogan 0:46 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 0:46 And when she plumps up, I plump back up. So that's where we're at, is that I just kind of mirror her.

Joe Rogan 0:51 Hmm.

Tim Dillon 0:52 Um-

Joe Rogan 0:53 How uncomfortable.

Tim Dillon 0:54 She's, I would, you know, I was, 'cause, you know, sometimes I'll go back to New York to do shows and I imagine, like, "What if I'm in a restaurant and I see her?" You know, what would a, what would a meeting be like?

Joe Rogan 1:05 What-

Tim Dillon 1:05 Because I have no-

Joe Rogan 1:06 ... real ill will. It's just comedy.

Tim Dillon 1:08 It's just comedy.

Joe Rogan 1:09 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 1:09 She's just-

Joe Rogan 1:10 She's a big public figure.

Tim Dillon 1:11 She's a big public figure, and she behaves sometimes in a, in a ridiculous way.

Joe Rogan 1:16 She called herself a self-made woman.

Tim Dillon 1:18 I mean, the- these are things that are insane.

Joe Rogan 1:21 Yes, that's-

Tim Dillon 1:21 I mean, this is, uh, you know, she's not self-made. And listen, she, I love, I love that she loves her dad.

Joe Rogan 1:29 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 1:29 But there's a limit-

Joe Rogan 1:31 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 1:32 ... to the constant, you know... If you want people to forget that your dad is the reason you have the job, you can't bring him up every five minutes.

Joe Rogan 1:40 Well, you, don't you think she's in a, a, a real pickle? Um, because that show is how she makes a living. So she's on that show.

Tim Dillon 1:48 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:48 And so if you're on that show-

Tim Dillon 1:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:49 ... it's one of the things you gotta talk about.

Tim Dillon 1:51 Absolutely. But I would say if she toned it down a little bit, tone it down.

Joe Rogan 1:56 You can't tone it down, though, they're all f- See, one of the things about those show, that shows that's ridiculous, like this conversation we're having-

Tim Dillon 2:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:02 ... is very easy. It's you and me.

Tim Dillon 2:04 Right. That's it.

Joe Rogan 2:05 I let you talk, you let me talk.

Tim Dillon 2:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:07 We talk, we express ourselves.

Tim Dillon 2:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:08 No problem.

Tim Dillon 2:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:09 That's a goddamn battle zone.

Tim Dillon 2:10 It's, it's a fight.

Joe Rogan 2:11 That's a vagina battle zone. There's-

Tim Dillon 2:13 And you have, and great, and you have a lot of great intellectuals-

Joe Rogan 2:15 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 2:16 ... that are battling out all the things. You know, Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg, these are brilliant people who we need to hear from.

Joe Rogan 2:23 Yes.

Tim Dillon 2:23 And they speak in three-minute clips. But the, I used to like the show when, like, Rosie O'Donnell would go on and start talking about Tower Seven. That was great. That was fun.

Joe Rogan 2:32 Yes. That was fun.

Tim Dillon 2:34 That was fun.

Joe Rogan 2:34 Well, she was-

Tim Dillon 2:34 It can be fun.

Joe Rogan 2:35 She, yeah, that was, uh, that was interesting what Rosie was doing. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 2:38 Rosie would just go on and start talking about Tower Seven.

Joe Rogan 2:41 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 2:41 And it was like-

Joe Rogan 2:42 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 2:42 ... "Oh, this is a fun morning show. This is ABC Morning."

Joe Rogan 2:45 It's a little wacky.

Tim Dillon 2:46 Yeah, it's like, "I'll get on board for this."

Joe Rogan 2:47 Why'd they take her off of that? Did she not get along with somebody?

Tim Dillon 2:50 I mean, she-

Joe Rogan 2:51 There was a girl from Survivor , right?

Tim Dillon 2:52 Yeah, Elisabeth Hasselbeck?

Joe Rogan 2:54 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 2:54 Her and Rosie used to fight all the time.

Joe Rogan 2:56 Yeah, she's like one of them hot Fox News fembot type characters.

Tim Dillon 3:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:01 Right?

Tim Dillon 3:01 I used to, I used to do Redeye on Fox News, which would air at 3:00 AM. They would bring in, like, all these hot blondes would sit in the green room, and they would be nice. And they'd be like, "I'm Miss Tallahassee."

Joe Rogan 3:11 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 3:13 And then they would get on Fox Redeye, and then the cameras would turn on and they would start going, "Syria," and I would be like, "Syria? What the hell-"

Joe Rogan 3:22 That wasn't-

Tim Dillon 3:22 "... do you know about Syria?"

Joe Rogan 3:24 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 3:25 I mean, but they would just go and go.

Joe Rogan 3:27 Right.

Tim Dillon 3:27 And it was f- and it, you know, that was a fun show because Redeye was a show that was on at 3:00 AM.

Joe Rogan 3:33 Yes.

Tim Dillon 3:33 And nobody really watched it, and nothing you said would get recorded. Like, it wouldn't, there would be no clips or anything, so you could kind of just go wild.

Joe Rogan 3:42 For a while.

Tim Dillon 3:43 For a while. So comedians like me who had no knowledge or background knowledge on anything-

Joe Rogan 3:48 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 3:49 ... got to, and I would wear, like, a jacket, so you wouldn't know, I guess it would say comedian under me, but not always. And I used to just go on that and just say whatever I wanted to, and I'd be sitting next to John Bolton.

Joe Rogan 4:03 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 4:04 And they didn't pay you, they would just give you a car to wherever you were going.

Joe Rogan 4:08 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 4:08 And I would just come on and say whatever the hell I wanted, and in a news studio.

Joe Rogan 4:12 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 4:12 So that was like a funny, but that's when I met a lot of those Fox... And by the way, they're all fun people.

Joe Rogan 4:17 Oh, yeah.

Tim Dillon 4:17 They're all fun people.

Joe Rogan 4:18 Well, I think there's a business in being a fembot, and I don't begrudge them, like I don't begrudge, uh, bodybuilders who are on Instagram.

Tim Dillon 4:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:26 You know, I mean, like-

Tim Dillon 4:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:27 ... you know, "This is my new ab set."

Tim Dillon 4:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:29 "I'm gonna, I'm gonna take you guys through this."

Tim Dillon 4:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:31 I don't, I don't begrudge them guys either. You know, I just think there's businesses.

Tim Dillon 4:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:35 And we have to recognize that the... Look, a lot of people who are really right wing like women, and they like hot blonde women-

Tim Dillon 4:45 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:45 ... with big tits who really are not into immigration. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 4:48 They don't like immigration. They hate immigration.

Joe Rogan 4:51 But there's like a fucking market for them.

Tim Dillon 4:53 A huge.

Joe Rogan 4:53 You know?

Tim Dillon 4:53 I mean, Tomi Lahren.

Joe Rogan 4:54 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 4:54 I mean, it started, I guess, with Ann Coulter and-

Joe Rogan 4:57 Mm-hmm, Lauren Southern.

Tim Dillon 4:57 Lauren Southern. They have a lot of-

Joe Rogan 4:59 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 4:59 ... there's a bunch of new ones now. Attractive women-

Joe Rogan 5:02 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 5:02 ... that are... Uh, yeah, I don't follow as closely because it, it starts to feel like you're in a loop.

Joe Rogan 5:07 Yes.

Tim Dillon 5:07 It starts to feel like with the news that you're in a loop.

Joe Rogan 5:09 Well, the best one, in my opinion, is Candace Owens. Because Can-

Tim Dillon 5:14 Candid- Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:14 Yeah, because they bring her into these conversations and they underestimate her. You know-

Tim Dillon 5:18 They did-

Joe Rogan 5:18 ... I've seen that several times.

Tim Dillon 5:19 ... they did a great thing, and I forget who did it, but it was her and Killer Mike. It was a, it was a, uh, a, a panel that maybe P Diddy sponsored or something, and it was a, a, a, a panel with j- of thought leaders in the Black community, and she was on it, Killer Mike was on it, and it was a re- and, uh, one of the girls from Black Lives Matter, and it was a really interesting conversation. Candace is very smart.

Joe Rogan 5:40 Oh, she's very smart.

Tim Dillon 5:41 I don't agree with her on some of the things-

Joe Rogan 5:42 Right.

Tim Dillon 5:42 ... she says, but she's very intelligent.

Joe Rogan 5:44 Here it is.

Tim Dillon 5:44 Here it is, yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:44 Killer Mike adds context to TI-

Tim Dillon 5:47 Okay.

Joe Rogan 5:47 ... and Candace Owens' revolt sem- uh, summit organ-

Tim Dillon 5:49 Yeah, Diddy was, I think, in the front row, just 'cause I'm gonna get accused of being a racist, you know?

Joe Rogan 5:53 "What do you mean? You can't, can't tell the difference?"

Tim Dillon 5:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:56 Um, and then Candace was also on something recently where some white woman who was a professor accused her of saying something racist, and she shut that lady down so hard.

Tim Dillon 6:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:09 Because, like, she was saying, she was laughing at something, and the woman said, the woman tried to check her and shame her for what she was laughing at. And she's like, "No, no, no. I'm laughing at you."

Tim Dillon 6:19 Wow.

Joe Rogan 6:19 Like, "I'm laughing at what you're saying." You should-

Tim Dillon 6:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:22 We can't play it, right?

Narrator 6:23 No, you cannot.

Joe Rogan 6:23 No, we couldn't play it. If we play it, we'll, we'll fucking get pulled off YouTube, but it's, uh...... it's, she shut her down.

Tim Dillon 6:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:29 And there was also that, uh, that Asian congressman. He tried some stupid shit on her, too.

Tim Dillon 6:34 Yes. She, she shut him down, too.

Joe Rogan 6:35 She shut him down. Well, he tried to take her out of context in front of her, like she wasn't going to defend herself.

Tim Dillon 6:39 Yeah. Well, it's also interesting-

Joe Rogan 6:40 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 6:40 ... about people like Candace Owens and people, they just live in a battleground.

Joe Rogan 6:43 Oh, yeah, she likes to go to war.

Tim Dillon 6:44 Everything's a... They wake up, they-

Joe Rogan 6:46 Knuckles up.

Tim Dillon 6:47 They get on Twitter.

Joe Rogan 6:48 Get out of bed.

Tim Dillon 6:48 Like, I could never live like that. I'm such a-

Joe Rogan 6:50 She gets out of bed like Nate Diaz. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 6:51 Yeah. Right. She's ready to... (laughs) I could never... Like, to me, to get up every day and go, "Who do I gotta wreck?"

Joe Rogan 6:58 Right. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 6:58 I just couldn't do it.

Joe Rogan 6:59 But she's all, you meet her in real life, she's like, she's a nice lady.

Tim Dillon 7:02 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:03 I, I really enjoy talking to her.

Tim Dillon 7:03 I'm sure. A lot of them are.

Joe Rogan 7:04 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 7:04 But they're like, you know what I mean, Ann Coulter, they're all very nice and then... But they're always, you know, they're just ready. They, they're, they live in the combat zone.

Joe Rogan 7:12 But look, we're talking about her and more than a million people are going to hear this.

Tim Dillon 7:14 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:14 So the, she's doing the right thing.

Tim Dillon 7:16 She is. She is. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:17 Like, and that, and that's a business. Just like you talking shit about Meghan McCain-

Tim Dillon 7:21 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:21 ... is kind of a business.

Tim Dillon 7:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:22 Where you, you never talk shit about her, you're p- pretending to be her.

Tim Dillon 7:24 I'm pretending to be her.

Joe Rogan 7:25 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 7:25 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm stealing her essence.

Joe Rogan 7:28 Ooh, I heard that before.

Tim Dillon 7:29 That's, that's kind of what I'm doing.

Joe Rogan 7:30 And, um, when did she, how long in, in, did she block you? Did you pay attention? Did you check every day?

Tim Dillon 7:35 You know, (sighs) I didn't check every day, but I think it was somewhere after the first video, which was, you know, a really, really fun one.

Joe Rogan 7:40 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 7:40 And she didn't like that. The thing now I'm nervous about is with all the new YouTube rules, can they just decide to get rid of my account for, or to just say it's not commercially viable?

Joe Rogan 7:52 You don't have a real problem with that because-

Tim Dillon 7:53 Okay.

Joe Rogan 7:53 ... you're making fun of someone on the right.

Tim Dillon 7:56 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 7:56 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 7:56 But I do make fun of people on the left. I mean, I-

Joe Rogan 7:58 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 7:58 I did a video, I pretended to be the agent of the climate girl, Greta Thunberg.

Joe Rogan 8:02 Oh. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 8:02 And, because I'm like, you know, I pretended to be like David Hogg's agent.

Joe Rogan 8:05 Can we play that? Can we play that?

Tim Dillon 8:05 You could absolutely play it.

Joe Rogan 8:06 Yeah, play that, play that.

Tim Dillon 8:07 Absolutely play it.

Joe Rogan 8:08 Is that on, is it on Instagram?

Tim Dillon 8:09 It's on, uh, it's on my YouTube channel and it's, it's, uh, I'm sure it's on Instagram but I don't know if it's IGTV or whatever. But so I, I, I... Because I want to fuck with everybody.

Joe Rogan 8:17 Yes.

Tim Dillon 8:18 So I was like, this girl Greta Thunberg, let's be honest, she has some good points, but a little, it's a little creepy. It's a little creepy.

Joe Rogan 8:23 Well, she's like... How old is she?

Tim Dillon 8:25 She's too young for me to say that about.

Joe Rogan 8:27 Is she like 14?

Tim Dillon 8:28 Yes.

Joe Rogan 8:29 She could be 50, too, though.

Tim Dillon 8:31 Yes, it's creepy, like-

Joe Rogan 8:32 Something's wrong.

Tim Dillon 8:32 ... I turned on my TV and she was like, "How dare you?" And I'm like, "Well, why are we starting there?"

Joe Rogan 8:37 But there's something about her face, too. It's like some- it's almost like-

Tim Dillon 8:40 I know.

Joe Rogan 8:40 Did you hear the story about the couple-

Tim Dillon 8:41 I think she has a thing, potentially.

Joe Rogan 8:43 There was a couple-

Tim Dillon 8:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:44 ... that, uh, adopted a child from Russia and they thought-

Tim Dillon 8:48 Yes.

Joe Rogan 8:48 ... that the child was, uh, a little kid, and it turned out she might have been 30.

Tim Dillon 8:54 Yes.

Joe Rogan 8:54 They don't know how old she was.

Tim Dillon 8:55 Yes.

Joe Rogan 8:55 She tried to kill them.

Tim Dillon 8:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:58 (laughs) She scared them. It was a fucking horror movie.

Tim Dillon 9:00 These are the best stories.

Joe Rogan 9:01 They thought they were, they thought they were adopting a little kid.

Tim Dillon 9:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:03 Like a little six year old, and it's a fucking 30 year old with some sort of a metabolic disease.

Tim Dillon 9:06 Yeah. Well, that serves you right for trying to be a do-gooder. You know?

Joe Rogan 9:10 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 9:10 They'll never do anything again for anybody.

Joe Rogan 9:12 Not now.

Tim Dillon 9:12 They'll never do one thing.

Joe Rogan 9:14 Like, the husband will try to bring it up. She's like, "Fuck you, Herman!"

Tim Dillon 9:16 "Fuck you!"

Joe Rogan 9:17 "You almost got me killed by that midget!"

Tim Dillon 9:19 Yeah. I mean, the idea that there are midgets dressing up as children and trying to burrow into families so that they can wake up in the middle of the night and kill them-

Joe Rogan 9:28 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 9:28 ... is truly the funniest thing that has happened in, in, in recent memory.

Joe Rogan 9:33 I don't think she's technically a midget.

Tim Dillon 9:34 Okay.

Joe Rogan 9:34 I think she's something else.

Tim Dillon 9:35 Well, she, okay, maybe-

Joe Rogan 9:36 But whatever she was, she has like a growth disorder that keeps her, like, looking like a small child.

Tim Dillon 9:40 Did you see there was a video recently where it looked like a kid was getting thrown off a bus? I don't know if it was-

Joe Rogan 9:45 Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Tim Dillon 9:45 And it was just a, was it a m... It was like a little person-

Joe Rogan 9:47 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 9:47 ... who was just thrown off a bus.

Joe Rogan 9:48 But it was, it was, it was a scam. Like someone-

Tim Dillon 9:51 Oh, was it fake?

Joe Rogan 9:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got-

Tim Dillon 9:53 Okay.

Joe Rogan 9:53 Ari and I both got duped. He sent it to me.

Tim Dillon 9:54 I got duped because my friend texted me, they go, "There's a pedophile midget that just got thrown off a bus."

Joe Rogan 9:58 It is hilarious though.

Tim Dillon 9:59 It is the funniest thing ever.

Joe Rogan 10:00 When, when it unzips the hood and you see this like grown up face.

Tim Dillon 10:04 There's a woman who looks like what the fuck. She doesn't-

Joe Rogan 10:06 I don't think they were in on it.

Tim Dillon 10:08 No, I don't think they knew, the people on the outside didn't know.

Joe Rogan 10:10 Yeah. Yes. I think the guy threw that guy off the bus and that was the scam.

Tim Dillon 10:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:14 And then the dude who was the, the little person in the hoodie, he was in on the scam.

Tim Dillon 10:18 Yeah. They were all in on it.

Joe Rogan 10:19 And the driver was in on the scam, but I don't think the people on the street were in on it.

Tim Dillon 10:21 So now what happens when the, when the, when the, when these, these little people wake up and they're like activated, they're like, "I'm going to kill the family." How do they try to kill them?

Joe Rogan 10:30 Well, this lady, she was threatening, she was threatening to kill the family and they were really worried that she was going to do that, so, she was going to poison them or something like that.

Tim Dillon 10:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:37 I think that's what it was. It's scary stuff. I mean-

Tim Dillon 10:39 It's a horror movie.

Joe Rogan 10:40 Because, you know, you got to think, who knows what kind of abuse this little kid had gone through... Well, actually a 30 year old.

Tim Dillon 10:48 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:48 Ras- as a little kid through, in Russia, you know, and all these-

Tim Dillon 10:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:51 ... foster homes and foster care and, you know, they are fucking ruthless over there, man.

Tim Dillon 10:55 It's, it's rough.

Joe Rogan 10:56 It's rough.

Tim Dillon 10:57 I imagine it's not the best place to grow up as a person with a disorder.

Joe Rogan 11:01 What's up, Jamie?

Narrator 11:03 I, I feel like I'm hearing... Are you saying that happened in Russia or it was a Russian kid? Because-

Tim Dillon 11:06 It's a Russian kid.

Joe Rogan 11:06 Russian kid.

Narrator 11:07 Okay, this has happened in Indiana.

Tim Dillon 11:09 Yeah.

Narrator 11:09 It's actually a Ukrainian kid that was recording the story.

Joe Rogan 11:11 That's, Ukraine is part of Russia.

Narrator 11:12 Um-

Joe Rogan 11:12 That's okay, isn't it?

Tim Dillon 11:13 It's one of the former Soviet Republics, yeah, it's fine.

Joe Rogan 11:16 They had it for three years.

Tim Dillon 11:16 They're Russian.

Narrator 11:16 They had it for three years before they found, figured this out.

Joe Rogan 11:19 Oh my God.

Tim Dillon 11:20 Now what kind of, what were those three years nice?

Joe Rogan 11:23 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 11:23 Like were there nice memories?

Joe Rogan 11:24 It started out good.

Tim Dillon 11:25 Isn't that odd to look back and be like, "Remember when we all went to Disney World before?"

Joe Rogan 11:28 No, they were probably like, "Hey, uh, this bitch isn't growing."

Tim Dillon 11:31 I think they said that she was creepy. In the article that I read, I think they were actually like, they would wake up and see her like standing at the door. Like I think there were things that she did that... Yeah, very, very bad.

Joe Rogan 11:42 What did he, what does she look like? Do they have an image of her?

Narrator 11:44 I'm trying to find, I'm trying to find, I might-

Joe Rogan 11:46 I saw a picture of her.

Tim Dillon 11:48 Now what-

Joe Rogan 11:48 I saw a picture of her.

Tim Dillon 11:48 Did she go to jail now?

Joe Rogan 11:50 It was real weird looking. Like she didn't look like a little person, she looked like a young person. It was very strange.

Tim Dillon 11:56 Yeah. I mean, I hope she finds another family.

Joe Rogan 11:58 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 11:58 I hope she keeps doing this to different families because whatever happened in this bitch's life was so bad that she needs to do this. Let her do it.

Joe Rogan 12:07 Hmm, can't do it to the wrong family, then they feed you to the wolves.

Tim Dillon 12:10 You do it to the wrong fam... Absolutely. Um, yeah, it's, it's... I worry about that though with YouTube because I say is it... You build a whole career, you build people that are your fans, they want to see comedy. And I always thought that like, "Okay, I'm not going to be able to do this on like mainstream TV, but these are funny things that I can do."

Joe Rogan 12:30 Right. There she is. Look at her.

Tim Dillon 12:31 Oh my God, she does look...

Joe Rogan 12:32 Okay, so it is a little person, but, but str-

Tim Dillon 12:33 She looks like a child.

Joe Rogan 12:34 ... strange. It's not like a regular... Look at the one down the middle, the middle and the lower cor... Look at that, that's horrific. That one right there.

Tim Dillon 12:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:41 That's terrifying.... Ukrainian child. She might have been-

Tim Dillon 12:45 But it's also-

Joe Rogan 12:45 ... 30.

Tim Dillon 12:45 ... how is she gonna kill you? What's she gonna... I guess i- in the middle of the night or something.

Joe Rogan 12:48 Cut your fucking neck, man.

Tim Dillon 12:50 Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan 12:50 Bro, there she looks 30.

Tim Dillon 12:52 Yeah. That's creepy.

Joe Rogan 12:53 There's something weird. They thought it was a little kid.

Tim Dillon 12:55 Yep.

Joe Rogan 12:56 That's so strange.

Tim Dillon 12:57 Don't adopt, folks.

Narrator 12:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:59 Oh my God.

Tim Dillon 13:00 Do not adopt.

Joe Rogan 13:00 That's so strange. Get that one there. Yeah, with the, with when your cursor's on, look at that one. That one freaks me out 'cause you'd be like, "Something's wrong."

Tim Dillon 13:08 You would never think that was a murderous young adult.

Joe Rogan 13:11 He's either eight or 22, that everyone's talking about.

Narrator 13:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:14 Um, I don't think they think 22 now. I think some people think as old as 30, and I think the youngest they think she is, is 16.

Tim Dillon 13:20 And there's no records? No one can prove anything?

Joe Rogan 13:22 No. They don't know what the fuck's going on. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 13:25 (laughs) You know-

Joe Rogan 13:27 It's so crazy.

Tim Dillon 13:28 She had periods. She had adult teeth. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:33 (laughs)

Narrator 13:33 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 13:33 Well-

Joe Rogan 13:33 Well, guess what? She's not 12.

Tim Dillon 13:34 I- that's an indication that, I mean did she never see a doctor in three years?

Joe Rogan 13:39 Oh, hold on. Hold on. Scroll back up. Hold on a sec. Look at this. "She had periods, she had adult teeth. Who alleges that after Natalia began acting out violently, attacking a baby boy, pushing Christine into an electric fence and making death threats, the family sought out psychiatric help. Healthcare officials, including the Barnetts' primary care physician who performed a bone density test, and a clinical therapist who treated Natalia, believe her to be an adult impersonating a child." Holy fuck.

Tim Dillon 14:04 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 14:05 Can you imagine when you're in the doctor's office and the doc-

Tim Dillon 14:07 And getting that diagnosis?

Joe Rogan 14:08 ... and they, and they do a bone density test-

Tim Dillon 14:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:10 ... and the kid, the kid's just sitting there.

Tim Dillon 14:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:12 It turns out it's an adult. Like, what?

Tim Dillon 14:14 Can you imagine going in and you're, you're ready to hear like she's got cancer or brain damage and she go, "Actually, you're, you're raising a 30-year-old from the Ukraine."

Joe Rogan 14:21 Look at this. "In 2012, a judge approved the Barnett's application to have Natalia's date of birth officially revised to September 4th, 1989, officially changing her age from eight to 22. Shortly after, they rented Natalia an apartment."

Tim Dillon 14:37 That's nice. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:37 "And placed her under the supervision of an Indiana state healthcare provider so she could receive psychiatric treatment as an adult."

Tim Dillon 14:45 That's an understanding family.

Joe Rogan 14:46 They... And then the parents moved to Canada. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 14:48 They left the country, but they rented her an apartment and then left the country.

Narrator 14:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:53 "Christine Barnett then moved to Canada (laughs) with her son Jacob-"

Tim Dillon 14:57 And they got arrested.

Joe Rogan 14:57 "...an autistic child progegy, prodigy about whom she wrote..." Oh, is that the parent?

Narrator 15:02 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 15:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:03 It's her parent.

Tim Dillon 15:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:05 No, the Barnett's. They're the Barnett's.

Narrator 15:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're his other son.

Tim Dillon 15:07 They're the, the ones who would, uh, adopt her.

Joe Rogan 15:08 Right, so Christine's the one that... But w- she took... So she left the husband and moved to Canada?

Narrator 15:13 Yeah, they're divorced now. It's just

15:14 They're different families.

Joe Rogan 15:14 Oh, well that's... That'll do it.

Tim Dillon 15:16 It's a tough thing for a marriage t- to survive.

Narrator 15:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:18 Yeah, you survive, you rented a- an adult.

Tim Dillon 15:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:20 You rented an adult-

Narrator 15:21 You rent to an adult for a couple years.

Tim Dillon 15:22 ... who was gonna kill you.

Joe Rogan 15:23 Pretending to be a kid, pushing you into an electric fence.

Tim Dillon 15:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:25 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 15:25 I feel like they (laughs) they had a dinner and they said-

Narrator 15:28 Oh.

Tim Dillon 15:28 ... "Whatever in our marriage made us think this was a good idea, we should just separate."

Joe Rogan 15:32 What do you got?

Narrator 15:33 They got, they got arrested for abandoning her in that apartment.

Joe Rogan 15:37 What?

Narrator 15:37 The story goes w- further I belie- it sounds like.

Joe Rogan 15:40 Oh my God. "In 2019, prosecutors in Tippecanoe, Indiana..." That's your number one problem right there.

Tim Dillon 15:46 Yeah.

Narrator 15:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:48 "... brought formal charges of neglect against the Barnett's, now divorced. An affidavit of probable cause from 2014 provided by Refinery29 refers to tests performed by Peyton Manning Children's Hospital in 2013 that seemed to contradict earlier medical reports about N- Natalia's age. Investigators at the time found Natalia's claims that she was a Ukrainian child who had been abandoned by the Barnett's credible. But Michael Barnett's attorney told the Daily Mail that the charges had been filed because another couple, perhaps convinced by Natalia that she was a minor, had petitioned to become her guardian." Oh my God, she tried to rope another family into this thing.

Narrator 16:25 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 16:25 She's good. She's good.

Joe Rogan 16:26 "Explaining Natalia was living on her own and the couple wanted to become her guardians. Thinking she was still a child, the couple tried to overturn the 2012 results." So they tried to overturn her fucking age.

Tim Dillon 16:40 And adopt her again.

Joe Rogan 16:41 "Despite new tests commissioned by that couple, the court upheld the original result, which maintained that Natalia was an adult. The couple later dropped their guardianship petition when she tried to kill them, too."

Tim Dillon 16:53 Wow.

Joe Rogan 16:53 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 16:53 Now w- where is the-

Joe Rogan 16:54 I added that last part.

Tim Dillon 16:55 Where is the-

Narrator 16:55 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 16:56 Where is Natalia today?

Joe Rogan 16:58 She c- whereabouts-

Narrator 16:59 Where is she?

Joe Rogan 16:59 ... are currently unknown.

Narrator 17:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:00 "Her age remains a subject of much debate." She's touring with Skippy from Family Ties.

Tim Dillon 17:04 Yes. (laughs)

Narrator 17:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:05 They- they- they- she's touring clubs in Connecticut.

Narrator 17:07 They do comedy clubs in Connecticut.

Tim Dillon 17:07 Yeah, she's on the Blues Clues tour.

Narrator 17:09 Jesus Christ.

Tim Dillon 17:10 She's... I mean, listen. You know, that's a guest.

Joe Rogan 17:13 Yes.

Tim Dillon 17:13 You wanna get a guest?

Joe Rogan 17:15 Oh.

Tim Dillon 17:15 That girl.

Joe Rogan 17:16 I would have someone in the room with a gun.

Narrator 17:17 Mm.

Tim Dillon 17:17 You sit her on a stack of phone books.

Joe Rogan 17:19 I might have a gun to sit-

Tim Dillon 17:19 You might adopt her.

Joe Rogan 17:20 I might have a gun to sit there.

Tim Dillon 17:21 You might bring her home.

Joe Rogan 17:22 Uh-uh.

Tim Dillon 17:22 She might... You might fall for it.

Joe Rogan 17:24 No.

Tim Dillon 17:24 And you might... You know, she might be riding marshal around the house.

Joe Rogan 17:26 No, I have real kids.

Tim Dillon 17:27 Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan 17:27 I know what a kid is.

Narrator 17:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:28 I understand kids.

Tim Dillon 17:30 It is wild when you... C- do you think could you ever get duped like that?

Joe Rogan 17:32 Yeah, you could get duped.

Tim Dillon 17:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:34 If someone's really, really, really good and you're tired. (laughs)

Narrator 17:37 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 17:37 Yeah, if you work-

Joe Rogan 17:38 If you worked, if you're working-

Tim Dillon 17:38 If you worked too hard.

Joe Rogan 17:39 If you're working hard and you just drink a little bit, maybe you're on some antidepressants that make you a little loopy.

Tim Dillon 17:43 I wonder if the parents are like, "How good of parents are we-"

Joe Rogan 17:46 Right.

Tim Dillon 17:46 "... that for three years we didn't know that we had a 30-year-old psychopath living in our house? Like, maybe we're not the best at this."

Joe Rogan 17:52 She's got a bush. That was the other thing they found out.

Tim Dillon 17:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:55 That she had pubic hairs, full bush-

Tim Dillon 17:57 Full bush, adult teeth.

Joe Rogan 17:57 ... adult teeth.

Tim Dillon 17:57 Ugh, death threats.

Joe Rogan 17:58 Yeah. Woo, death threats.

Tim Dillon 17:59 What is it? How do you make a death threat when you look like a kid like that? What do you... I mean, it's crazy.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Like Chucky.

Tim Dillon 18:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:03 He scared the fuck out of everybody.

Tim Dillon 18:04 That's what it is, "Fuck you, I'll kill you."

Joe Rogan 18:06 Remember that? Dude, Chucky was terrifying.

Tim Dillon 18:07 Chucky was really... People say sometimes I look like Chucky, which is not nice, but-

Joe Rogan 18:10 That's not true. There are... Those people are mean.

Tim Dillon 18:12 ... that I don't... I agree, but there's a lot of people on YouTube that like to just let it fly.

Narrator 18:15 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 18:15 They really like to let it fly.

Joe Rogan 18:16 You're not supposed to read that stuff. You're getting a little too famous.

Tim Dillon 18:18 I know, but sometimes I do. I don't know about that, but I, I-

Joe Rogan 18:20 You're getting a little too famous to read YouTube comments.

Tim Dillon 18:22 I read the stuff and sometimes it's brutal.

Joe Rogan 18:25 Yeah, it can be mean.

Tim Dillon 18:25 And sometimes I'll answer. Like never on YouTube, but sometimes on IG, Instagram I'll answer and say something back. I... One guy said something to me once and I said something back to him. I went... 'Cause I looked at his page and it was just his chick holding a bunch of other people's kids, so I said, "Why don't you impregnate your girlfriend so she doesn't have to run around with other people's kids?"

Joe Rogan 18:44 Ooh. (gasps)

Tim Dillon 18:45 So it was wild.

Joe Rogan 18:46 Wow.

Tim Dillon 18:46 And then they deleted my comment.

Joe Rogan 18:48 Whoa.

Tim Dillon 18:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:49 When he was going after you, you went after him?

Tim Dillon 18:50 He was going after me. I went back at him-

Joe Rogan 18:51 And they deleted yours?

Tim Dillon 18:52 ... and they deleted my comment.

Joe Rogan 18:54 Wow.

Tim Dillon 18:54 This is the world we're living in now.

Joe Rogan 18:56 Hmm. Well, you shouldn't-

Tim Dillon 18:57 It was inappropriate for me to go to his page.

Joe Rogan 19:00 Well, it's natural though.

Tim Dillon 19:01 Yeah. It was wrong, but I did it.

Joe Rogan 19:02 It's counterpunching, it's natural.

Tim Dillon 19:03 Yeah. It was just... But I was trying to... You know, this is my job.

Joe Rogan 19:06 Yeah, you get him.

Tim Dillon 19:06 You gotta go.

Joe Rogan 19:07 Yeah. You better... Uh, look, I understand people that are sitting in a job somewhere, sitting in a cubicle, angry. And they see someone like yourself or like me, or any... And Jamie, I'm sure he gets hate too.

Tim Dillon 19:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:20 And they just get fucking angry. Maybe you said something stupid. I say something stupid all the time.

Tim Dillon 19:25 Me too.

Joe Rogan 19:25 And then they wanna come get you. And they wanna yell at you, or make you feel like shit-

Tim Dillon 19:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:29 ... or say something awful.

Tim Dillon 19:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:31 Something really mean, so just-

Tim Dillon 19:32 And sometimes it gets you.

Joe Rogan 19:33 ... it gets you. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 19:33 Sometimes it'll get you.

Joe Rogan 19:34 But I would rather give them that. This is what I-

Tim Dillon 19:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:38 This is how I feel. I'd rather let them.

Tim Dillon 19:39 Let them have it.

Joe Rogan 19:40 Let it... Go say it.

Tim Dillon 19:41 Take your shot.

Joe Rogan 19:41 Take... No, but this is how I feel. Uh, I'm not... It's not personal.

Tim Dillon 19:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:44 Like, I get it. Like, I used to be me. And, when I w-... I mean, I used to be you. When I was, uh, young and coming up, but there was no internet to do this. If I had the internet, I guaranteed you, I would have said some horrendous, ridiculous shit on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook-

Tim Dillon 20:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:02 ... YouTube comments. No doubt.

Tim Dillon 20:05 We all would have.

Joe Rogan 20:06 Everybody would have.

Tim Dillon 20:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:07 I don't, I don't want to read them. I don't want them... I don't want them to upset me, and I don't want to be upset at them. And if I see them, I don't wanna know they said it, because it's not real.

Tim Dillon 20:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:18 It's not real, in that it is their real thought and they did write it, but they don't really know me.

Tim Dillon 20:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:23 And their thought... And then a lot of it is just, it's fun.

Tim Dillon 20:26 Sometimes I'll just respond to somebody-

Joe Rogan 20:27 It's fun to shit on somebody.

Tim Dillon 20:27 ... and they'll go, "Hey," and they'll totally... Like, they'll say something nasty and then I'll respond, and then they'll go, "Hey, just kidding."

Joe Rogan 20:32 Of course.

Tim Dillon 20:32 "Love the podcast."

Joe Rogan 20:33 Normal.

Tim Dillon 20:34 And it's just like, oh, they just want interaction.

Joe Rogan 20:36 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 20:36 And that's why they said that I look like a potato skin.

Joe Rogan 20:39 Well, they're just fucking... People are angry, man.

Tim Dillon 20:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:41 Most people's lives suck.

Tim Dillon 20:43 Yeah, a lot of people, it's not great right now.

Joe Rogan 20:45 No. It's a-

Tim Dillon 20:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:46 And even if it was not, not... Even if the economy's doing better-

Tim Dillon 20:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:50 ... the vast majority of people are not doing what they wanna do with their lives.

Tim Dillon 20:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:54 There's... And, and most people, at some point in your life, have expe-... I mean, I'm sure you've had jobs-

Tim Dillon 20:58 I have.

Joe Rogan 20:58 ... like that-

Tim Dillon 20:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:59 ... that are fucking terrible.

Tim Dillon 21:00 Absolutely. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:00 We've all been there.

Tim Dillon 21:01 We've all been there.

Joe Rogan 21:02 And that feeling of frustration when you see someone on YouTube, and it's so easy to just say something gross and mean.

Tim Dillon 21:08 We all do it as comics, you know?

Joe Rogan 21:09 Yes.

Tim Dillon 21:10 You know, we... Because we'll see somebody... We'll see the trailer for Somebody Special or whatever, and we'll be like, "Ugh." You know?

Joe Rogan 21:15 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Tim Dillon 21:16 And it's like, why... We shouldn't be focusing on that. But it's too much... It's v- a lot of fun-

Joe Rogan 21:20 Yes.

Tim Dillon 21:20 ... to commiserate with people-

Joe Rogan 21:22 Yes.

Tim Dillon 21:23 ... in th- the shared hatred of something.

Joe Rogan 21:25 And when someone's doing well-

Tim Dillon 21:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:26 ... like yourself, your videos start picking up a little steam-

Tim Dillon 21:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:28 ... people start recommending it, it's, it's fun to shit on you.

Tim Dillon 21:31 Yeah, absolutely.

Joe Rogan 21:31 Bring you down. "Fuck him, he's not funny."

Tim Dillon 21:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:33 " That Meghan McCain doesn't even sound like her."

Tim Dillon 21:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. My favorite comment is just when someone will write, "He's fat."

Joe Rogan 21:39 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 21:39 That's my favorite comment. Someone will write, "He's fat." 300 likes.

Joe Rogan 21:43 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 21:43 Thank you. I appreciate... I appreciate that.

Joe Rogan 21:46 "He doesn't even sound like her."

Tim Dillon 21:48 Right, yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:49 "That's a terrible impression."

Tim Dillon 21:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:50 "Sounds like him."

Tim Dillon 21:51 Right, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:53 (laughs) I went to see, uh... Well, I, I was working with, uh, Otto and George way back in the day.

Tim Dillon 21:57 Yeah, Long Island guys, right?

Joe Rogan 21:58 And, uh... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tim Dillon 21:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:59 And we were, uh, we were working at, uh, uh, Dangerfield's in Manhattan.

Tim Dillon 22:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:03 And, uh-

Tim Dillon 22:04 Joker.

Joe Rogan 22:04 ... some lady, he's... You know, he would... Otto, um, had a puppet named George, and he would do the imp-... You know, the... He would work the puppet and the puppet would say fucked up things. And Otto would be like, "Hey, how are you saying that? That's terrible."

Tim Dillon 22:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:17 And, uh, I remember this lady going, "His lips are moving."

Tim Dillon 22:22 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:24 (laughs) 'Cause he didn't even try.

Tim Dillon 22:26 He's a... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:26 He was like the worst ventriloquist.

Tim Dillon 22:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:28 Like, he was never trying to just do... He wasn't trying to do that at all. He moved his lips.

Tim Dillon 22:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:33 And she couldn't even concentrate on the jokes.

Tim Dillon 22:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:35 The puppet was saying the most horrendous-

Tim Dillon 22:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:38 ... fucked up, ridiculous jokes. And she was like, "His lips are moving."

Tim Dillon 22:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:42 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 22:42 It's... Uh, uh, uh, yeah. They were, they were amazing, man. Th- that, to me, is like, so funny how somebody could just key in on something like that while the entire audience is laughing-

Joe Rogan 22:53 Yes.

Tim Dillon 22:53 ... and having a good time.

Joe Rogan 22:54 Yes.

Tim Dillon 22:54 Everyone's having a great time-

Joe Rogan 22:56 "His lips are moving." And they-

Tim Dillon 22:57 "It's not real." Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 22:59 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 22:59 She thinks she's focusing in on the important part, and that everyone else is wrong.

Joe Rogan 23:03 It's terrible, yeah.

Tim Dillon 23:04 Right. The other 300 people that are dying on the floor are wrong.

Joe Rogan 23:06 "Look, look, look, by his mouth."

Tim Dillon 23:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:07 "You see lines. The mouth is on like a hinge."

Tim Dillon 23:11 "We want a refund." Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:11 "The mouth goes up and down. You can see where the lines are."

Tim Dillon 23:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:14 "It's not a real mouth."

Tim Dillon 23:15 I love it.

Joe Rogan 23:16 "That's fake."

Tim Dillon 23:16 I mean, it's tough... You know, you... What we do... And, you know, you're obviously in the, the, the big, big venues now. But like, when... I, I was just in a club this past weekend, and it's like, it's an interesting time in the country to get a bunch of people in a room, pour alcohol all over them-

Joe Rogan 23:29 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 23:29 ... and just let them go.

Joe Rogan 23:31 Yes.

Tim Dillon 23:31 Because, uh, uh, e- no matter what I say, if I say Trump, or if I say... And my act is not political, but I'll, I'll mention things that are going on. There's jokes.

Joe Rogan 23:38 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 23:38 And as soon as I say Trump, some of the crowd will go, "Whoo," and some of them will start booing.

Joe Rogan 23:43 Yeah. Wh-

Tim Dillon 23:43 And I'm like, "Yeah." And I'm like, "Guys, that's not this. I'm just here to make a joke about-"

Joe Rogan 23:48 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 23:48 "... this."

Joe Rogan 23:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tim Dillon 23:49 "So, this isn't a rally, I'm not taking your temperature, it doesn't matter." And they just... They're hammered, and they're ready to just let you know where they're at.

Joe Rogan 23:58 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 23:58 You know?

Joe Rogan 23:59 It's just like a... It's a weird time for discourse.

Tim Dillon 24:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 24:02 It's a weird time for, for people shouting things out too, because people think their opinion's more important than it's ever been before, because of social media.

Tim Dillon 24:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 24:09 People are used to expressing themselves.

Tim Dillon 24:10 Right. And I mean-

Joe Rogan 24:11 (coughs)

Tim Dillon 24:11 And, and some crowds now, I mean, I think there's just a, uh, you know, some perverse pride in like kind of putting you through it.

Joe Rogan 24:17 Yeah, a little bit.

Tim Dillon 24:17 You know? Where I'll be like, "You guys are animals. You're fucking animals."

Joe Rogan 24:20 Yeah, yeah.

Tim Dillon 24:20 There's a huge applause break.

Joe Rogan 24:21 "Yeah, we got you." (clapping)

Tim Dillon 24:23 You know? I was like, "Where did they hand out tickets to this show? At an urgent care?"

Joe Rogan 24:26 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 24:26 You know? They love it. They're clapping, you know?

Joe Rogan 24:28 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 24:28 So...

Joe Rogan 24:29 Well, they're looking for something that's different than most of what you're getting on television and in websites.

Tim Dillon 24:35 Yes.

Joe Rogan 24:35 You're getting this fucking politically correct, woke nonsense-

Tim Dillon 24:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 24:39 And, and people are rejecting it. Look-

Tim Dillon 24:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:41 ... Charlie's Angels, "Fuck you." Terminator-

Tim Dillon 24:43 You don't want it.

Joe Rogan 24:44 "Fuck you."

Tim Dillon 24:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:45 "Get woke, go broke."

Tim Dillon 24:46 Yeah, that's what it is.

Joe Rogan 24:47 That's what people are saying now.

Tim Dillon 24:47 And-

Joe Rogan 24:48 They're like... They're done with it.

Tim Dillon 24:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:49 People are done.

Tim Dillon 24:49 Yeah. People are sick of it. And the... This business, people don't realize the business we're in doesn't have a soul, they don't care. So eventually th- it's gonna swing back the other way-

Joe Rogan 24:57 Oh, yeah.

Tim Dillon 24:57 ... because they-

Joe Rogan 24:59 Money.

Tim Dillon 24:59 Yeah, it's money.

Joe Rogan 24:59 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 25:00 Joker did great.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Yes.

Tim Dillon 25:01 These things do well.

Joe Rogan 25:02 Yes. And that's a fucked up movie.

Tim Dillon 25:04 It's a fucked up movie and it was great, and I think-

Joe Rogan 25:06 It was great.

Tim Dillon 25:07 ... that... I mean, you know, look at Roseanne.

Joe Rogan 25:09 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 25:09 25 million people tuned in to the premiere of Roseanne.

Joe Rogan 25:13 Do you know how much money that must have cost ABC to fire her for that?

Tim Dillon 25:17 A lot.

Joe Rogan 25:18 S-

Tim Dillon 25:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:18 It was so dumb. (clears throat) And, I mean, it took me a while to convince her to come on the podcast.

Tim Dillon 25:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:23 We ... She was supposed to do it a long time ago. And, dude, we had fucking camera crews trying to get to my house.

Tim Dillon 25:27 Crazy.

Joe Rogan 25:27 We had camera crews outside our old studio where we used to be.

Tim Dillon 25:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:30 It was madness, man. I mean, it was ... It was crazy. And, like, w- ... And that's ... That one thing, by the way, is extremely insulting, and fucking stupid, and archaic. Do you think you just find me, I'm gonna talk to you?

Tim Dillon 25:41 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:42 You think you put a camera in front of me-

Tim Dillon 25:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:43 ... and now your, your fucking rudimentary interview skills?

Tim Dillon 25:45 Yeah. You're gonna be like, "G- ... Oh, you got me."

Joe Rogan 25:47 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 25:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:48 "Oh, well, here, here, let me give you my statement."

Tim Dillon 25:50 (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 25:50 "Here, I'll give you the scoop."

Tim Dillon 25:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:51 Fuck you.

Tim Dillon 25:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:51 I'll-

Tim Dillon 25:51 Can you-

Joe Rogan 25:52 ... say a bunch of shit you can't talk ... You can't put on the air.

Tim Dillon 25:54 Do you ... Will d- ... Will you just walk by them?

Joe Rogan 25:56 I'm like, "I'm not interested in talking to you."

Tim Dillon 25:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:58 You know? This is not how it works. You don't just show up to get an interview. You schedule it through-

Tim Dillon 26:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:02 There's, like, channels.

Tim Dillon 26:03 Proper channel. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:03 There's proper channels. Yeah.

Tim Dillon 26:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:05 You know how to do it. They-

Tim Dillon 26:05 Wh-

Joe Rogan 26:05 ... know how to do it, they just think they're gonna be ... Like, "This is news." You guys are archaic.

Tim Dillon 26:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:10 You're not even real.

Tim Dillon 26:11 Yeah. It's like a ... Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 26:11 You guys are fucking shaman.

Tim Dillon 26:13 And does anyone care? Does anyone c- ... Is there real money in that anymore?

Joe Rogan 26:15 No.

Tim Dillon 26:15 Is there real money in Justin Bieber having sushi? Does anyone care?

Joe Rogan 26:18 Uh, I'm sure some people care with the websites.

Tim Dillon 26:20 Okay.

Joe Rogan 26:20 There's a lot of clicking on T- ... TMZ makes a shitload of money.

Tim Dillon 26:23 I see other comics sometimes that take pictures with famous people, and I go, "What are you doing?"

Joe Rogan 26:26 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 26:26 "Stop doing that."

Joe Rogan 26:27 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 26:28 "Stop doing that." No one wants that.

Joe Rogan 26:30 They're doing it for the 'Gram.

Tim Dillon 26:31 It's the worst thing in the world. You have just a picture with a famous person that's miserable.

Joe Rogan 26:34 I was gonna ask you for a picture after this.

Tim Dillon 26:35 Yeah, it's like, "Let's not. Let's not."

Joe Rogan 26:38 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 26:38 Ugh. It's the worst thing ever. I yell at friends.

Joe Rogan 26:41 Yeah?

Tim Dillon 26:41 I go, "Don't do it. Don't do it."

Joe Rogan 26:43 But people like to be associated with someone who's cool, you know?

Tim Dillon 26:46 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:47 You get a picture with Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age, like, "Look at me."

Tim Dillon 26:49 It's, like, a cool thing, I guess.

Joe Rogan 26:50 "Look at me."

Tim Dillon 26:51 Yeah, but they're ... These people are pulling out people that were in, like, '90s sitcoms.

Joe Rogan 26:55 Right.

Tim Dillon 26:55 They'll just pick a guy out of an audience that was on, like, Homicide: Life on the Street-

Joe Rogan 26:58 Right.

Tim Dillon 26:58 ... and they'll be like, "Hey, it's me." And I'm like, "Let him be."

Joe Rogan 27:00 It's Ice-T.

Tim Dillon 27:01 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:02 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 27:03 "Let this guy be."

Joe Rogan 27:03 Ice-T has been a cop longer than he's been a rapper.

Tim Dillon 27:06 He's been-

Joe Rogan 27:06 H-

Tim Dillon 27:06 ... a cop forever. And-

Joe Rogan 27:07 Isn't that so weird? Remember, "I'm a motherfucking cop killer?"

Tim Dillon 27:11 Yeah. He's-

Joe Rogan 27:11 He had a song called Cop Killer.

Tim Dillon 27:12 He's a good ... He's just a good-

Joe Rogan 27:14 (clears throat)

Tim Dillon 27:14 ... TV cop.

Joe Rogan 27:15 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 27:15 You know?

Joe Rogan 27:16 That show's gotta be soul-sucking, though.

Tim Dillon 27:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:19 I bet you just can't wait to spend money.

Tim Dillon 27:20 I think after a while, it becomes just ... It's a routine job. It's like anything else, and no one cares anymore. Like, you know, there's shows that we all as comics do that are just routine jobs, that, you know-

Joe Rogan 27:30 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 27:30 ... things we just show up, and they're like, "Okay, here we go," and hear the topics and make some jokes, and then it's like boom, boom, boom.

Joe Rogan 27:35 I know, but at a certain point in time, you gotta be c- ... planning your escape.

Tim Dillon 27:38 You gotta have enough money.

Joe Rogan 27:39 Like, when I was on, like, season five of Fear Factor, I remember thinking, "I don't know how much longer I can do this."

Tim Dillon 27:45 What was it about it that was j- ... It was just too much, repetitive?

Joe Rogan 27:47 It was the same thing over and over again. We did 148 episodes.

Tim Dillon 27:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:52 It was just ... After a while, it was just like, "Jesus Christ, how many animal dicks can you serve people?"

Tim Dillon 27:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:57 How many times can you throw them off buildings?

Tim Dillon 27:59 Yeah. Yeah, it's, "Enough's enough already."

Joe Rogan 28:01 (laughs) It was just, um-

Tim Dillon 28:02 There's no amount of money to get you to come back to do that, or something like that.

Joe Rogan 28:06 I did come back in 2011.

Tim Dillon 28:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:09 I came back. But I didn't have as ... I didn't have as much money back then, and also it was a lot more money than I got the first time. It was, like, a big deal 'cause they were g- ... Well, I think it was. I don't ... I don't ... I honestly don't remember about the money part. But it was a big deal that I was gonna come back, but I immediately regretted it. Like, immediately. I was like, "Oh my God, I have a job again."

Tim Dillon 28:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:28 "What the fuck did I do?" But I had ... I was just having children then, you know? Like, uh-

Tim Dillon 28:34 Yeah, you wanted to-

Joe Rogan 28:35 Yeah. My-

Tim Dillon 28:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:35 ... kids were real young, and I was like, "I need ..." Like, when you have a kid ... (clears throat) I had a older daughter, but I was already paid for most of that. Like, and do you ever think about two children, and you think about two children that are, like, at the time, two and one. You're like, "Oh my God." Like, "This is, um ... This is serious."

Tim Dillon 28:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:55 Like, you ... I have to make-

Tim Dillon 28:56 You have 18 years.

Joe Rogan 28:57 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 28:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:57 I have to make-

Tim Dillon 28:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:58 ... a lot of money. And then I, uh, think, like ... All the money I squirreled away from the original season of Fear Factor, that took care of my family for a long time, and it'll probably be okay. (clears throat) But I felt like this overwhelming responsibility to squirrel away mor- mor- more money.

Tim Dillon 29:10 More and more money.

Joe Rogan 29:11 But then once I started doing it, I was like, "Oh my God, this is a mistake."

Tim Dillon 29:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:14 "This is a mistake."

Tim Dillon 29:15 You're like, "This is crazy."

Joe Rogan 29:16 I'm like, "I don't like it."

Tim Dillon 29:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:17 "It's not fun." And then we got canceled 'cause we served people jizz.

Tim Dillon 29:20 Oh, was that the final straw?

Joe Rogan 29:21 Yeah. We served-

Tim Dillon 29:22 And that-

Joe Rogan 29:22 They had-

Tim Dillon 29:23 Did you-

Joe Rogan 29:23 They had to drink donkey cum.

Tim Dillon 29:24 And that was a- ... That was too much?

Joe Rogan 29:25 That was it.

Tim Dillon 29:26 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 29:27 'Cause TMZ saved me.

Tim Dillon 29:28 That was when you had the Moral Majority back then, and they would ... This was a problem. Like-

Joe Rogan 29:32 Well-

Tim Dillon 29:32 ... that's when all the censorship came primarily, right? From, like, right wing groups?

Joe Rogan 29:36 Um, sorta, yeah.

Tim Dillon 29:37 Was it, like, Christianity-

Joe Rogan 29:37 Because it was the Obama-

Tim Dillon 29:38 ... yeah?

Joe Rogan 29:38 Was it the, uh ... the Obama administration-

Tim Dillon 29:40 Oh.

Joe Rogan 29:40 ... in 2011?

Tim Dillon 29:40 This is the ... This is the return. Okay.

Joe Rogan 29:42 (coughs) But what it was, was, um, the show had to get more and more extreme. And it was very dangerous. Like, it was freaking me out.

Tim Dillon 29:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:52 Because, um, they were taking a lot more crazy risks. Like, one of 'em, you had to, uh ... Uh, you had a, a set of keys, and you had ... Your partner was handcuffed to a tree, and they were attached to a bungee cord that was attached to a fucking helicopter. Okay? And the helicopter was ... Had this bungee cord taut, and they're flying in the sky above a giant canyon. I mean, way the fuck up there, right? So you got these keys, and you're working these keys. And the idea is the first person to get the key lock open, right? You unlock the thing, and then pyong, the person goes-

Tim Dillon 30:22 Geez.

Joe Rogan 30:22 ... shooting into the sky. And I remember seeing them, going, "What if something snaps? What if something breaks?"

Tim Dillon 30:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:26 "What if we watch someone fall to their death?" Like, "What the fuck are we doing?"

Tim Dillon 30:29 You know, you'd just have a bunch of executives going, "Ugh." They'd just make a face, you know?

Joe Rogan 30:33 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 30:33 They would just go, "Ugh."

Joe Rogan 30:35 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 30:35 "Not great."

Joe Rogan 30:36 I had a joke about it that they were gonna kill us all, and then g- ... Gun us down, and then blame it on the terrorists.

Tim Dillon 30:40 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:41 And like, "Don't ... Don't let the terrorists take away your Fear Factor."

Tim Dillon 30:43 That's ... Yeah. (laughs) Right, right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 30:44 "Now back with Mario Lopez."

Tim Dillon 30:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:46 And I would just joke ar- ... I was always joking around how Mario Lopez was gonna replace me.

Tim Dillon 30:49 Did you ever feel weird morally about it 'cause you have these people that are coming in that are putting themselves in these positions?

Joe Rogan 30:55 No, because I woulda done it.

Tim Dillon 30:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:56 I woulda done it when I was broke. I woulda eaten an animal dick.

Tim Dillon 30:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:59 I woulda let you throw puke in my face. Like- (laughs)

Tim Dillon 31:00 Right. There's-

Joe Rogan 31:01 There's-

Tim Dillon 31:01 There are people that we know who will do it now, you know?

Joe Rogan 31:03 Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah.

Tim Dillon 31:03 Absolutely, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:04 Everybody that works at the store.

Tim Dillon 31:05 Yeah. "We'll all do it now." And-

Joe Rogan 31:06 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 31:06 And a lot of us have money.

Joe Rogan 31:08 And there was the idea that they could g- ... do that and, you know, and move on to a career. The only one who's actually moved it on to a real career is Michael Yo. Michael Yo-

Tim Dillon 31:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:15 ... was on season one of Fear Factor.

Tim Dillon 31:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:16 Episode one. Episode one, season one.

Tim Dillon 31:18 Interesting. And he's a c- ... Is he a comic, or he's just-

Joe Rogan 31:20 Yeah, he's a comic con.

Tim Dillon 31:20 Comedian. That's-

Joe Rogan 31:21 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 31:21 ... doing really well.

Joe Rogan 31:22 That's wild. Just filmed a special. He's a really good guy, too.

Tim Dillon 31:24 That's great.

Joe Rogan 31:25 Really funny. He's hilarious.

Tim Dillon 31:26 So some people-

Joe Rogan 31:27 Very smart.

Tim Dillon 31:27 ... can start on Fear Factor?

Joe Rogan 31:29 Oh, yeah. 100%.

Tim Dillon 31:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:30 One.

Tim Dillon 31:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:31 Out of 148 episodes, three people per episode. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 31:34 Yeah. I remember I tested for a reality show on Food Network, and they had me on set for about a- an hour, and they were like, "Yeah, this is not ..." I said I said, like, three things into the camera, and they go, "None of this will ever ... This is not gonna work."

Joe Rogan 31:47 What did you say? (laughs)

Tim Dillon 31:47 Well, they were just basically like ... It was called Hotspots, and they're like, "Tell us what you think a hotspot is. What's a real cool hotspot?" And I was just like, "A hotspot is when I try to get into it, the maître d' tells me to kill myself."

Joe Rogan 31:59 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 32:00 And then they go, "Okay, well, let's do the joke again, but let's not say, 'Kill yourself.'" I'm like, "Well, that's the joke, right?" So they're like, "Just maybe say something like, 'When I try to get in, they say no.'" And I'm like, "Y- ... But that's not funny." So then we just tried to work around it a bunch of different ways, and I would just keep saying things. And you could tell they were just getting frustrated. Networks like Food Network love the idea of comedians. They're like, "We love the idea of having a comedian come in to spice it up." And then when they get a real comedian, they're like, "We don't want that." Not the type of comic-

Joe Rogan 32:28 Well, they want a ... They want a comedian-

Tim Dillon 32:29 ... that I am.

Joe Rogan 32:29 ... with, like, three tracks.

Tim Dillon 32:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:31 They want, like-

Tim Dillon 32:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:31 ... a real down the middle-

Tim Dillon 32:34 Goofy.

Joe Rogan 32:34 ... like, not a lot of lane changing.

Tim Dillon 32:35 Because I was making fun of, like ... We had all the archetypes of the Food Network pe- ... Like, we had the fat Southern woman-

Joe Rogan 32:40 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 32:40 ... that was supposed to be Paula Deen. And she came in. She's like, "Have you ever had a redneck grilled cheese?" And I said-

Joe Rogan 32:45 Ooh.

Tim Dillon 32:45 ... "This woman's gonna explode on set." And- and I ... 'Cause they said you can be playful with each other. So I said, "This woman's gonna explode on set." And they go, "Well, wait a minute. Hold on." And I'm like, "You said we could be playful." We had the Asian woman who was like ... She just talked about wellness. She was like, "E- ... We just ... I want to be whole, and I want to be one."

Joe Rogan 33:02 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 33:02 "And I want to be wellness." And then y- ... So every-... you know, you had the guy Fieri, like, you know. There's a million chefs that think they're Bourdain, they think they're profound, but in reality, they're just making fucking grilled cheese-

Joe Rogan 33:13 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 33:13 ... and they have tattoos, but other than that... You know, so we had a bunch of those chefs who were like, "I'm hard parting, I've seen it all."

Joe Rogan 33:19 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 33:19 "I've seen it all. I've worked on the line." It's like, "Shut up. You've made gnocchi."

Joe Rogan 33:23 Bourdain with, with Kitchen Confidential, he changed what a chef is.

Tim Dillon 33:26 He changed what a chef is, but most chefs are not that. And, and the reality is, is like, you hear people now that travel around the country and they think that they're like... R- and I love Bour- Bourdain a brilliant chef, but sometimes, Bor- B- Bourdain's show is interesting, because like, he'd be sitting with a family in Turkey and they'd be like, "Well, we haven't seen our daughter in two days, and we don't really know where she is. It's a revolution." And then, they would, th- i- i- it would be like, and then he would, like, they would start talking about hummus. And I'd be like, "Wha- what happened to your daughter? Like, what's going on?"

Joe Rogan 33:53 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 33:53 Like, why are we talking about figs right now?

Joe Rogan 33:56 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 33:56 There's a revolution happening. This whole idea that like, food... Like, I think Bourdain was a genius, but h- the people that have succeeded him haven't done it well.

Joe Rogan 34:06 Is anybody doing it that way, where they're traveling around? The Gordon Ramsay-

Tim Dillon 34:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:09 ... they were talking about him doing something, but, uh, th- the backlash was immediate.

Tim Dillon 34:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:13 Immediate and fierce.

Tim Dillon 34:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:15 Because people were thinking that he was gonna try to replace Bourdain.

Tim Dillon 34:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:19 But w- if he, if he stays in his wheelhouse, as Hell's Kitchen and doing all those shows that he did before, everybody would've been fine with it.

Tim Dillon 34:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:25 But they were like, "Hey, fuck you."

Tim Dillon 34:26 "He's gonna come a cr- come at..." Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:27 And he u- n- it take- I mean, imagine doing No Reservations now or what is the, the new show? What was it? Was i-

Tim Dillon 34:34 Parts Unknown?

Joe Rogan 34:35 Parts Unknown.

Tim Dillon 34:35 Was, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:35 Imagine, it's like, Parts Unknown with new host-

Tim Dillon 34:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:38 ... Tim Dillon.

Tim Dillon 34:39 No. Wouldn't, it would not work.

Joe Rogan 34:40 You're fucked.

Tim Dillon 34:40 And it would be, it would, they would be fucked.

Joe Rogan 34:41 They would, they would come get you.

Tim Dillon 34:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:43 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 34:43 No, it'd be a problem.

Joe Rogan 34:44 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 34:44 And it's also like, he was a really brilliant guy, that like, most people that ... Like, they're like, "Oh, we're eating food and learning about the culture." It's like, you're really not. You're just having dinner.

Joe Rogan 34:52 He actually was.

Tim Dillon 34:53 He was.

Joe Rogan 34:53 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 34:53 'Cause he was curious and interested. But most people that are like, that are l- it's just a lot of pr- people are pretentious.

Joe Rogan 35:00 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 35:00 And they think that they're learning about the culture through food. We're learning about the culture through dining, and it's like, you're not really.

Joe Rogan 35:06 Right.

Tim Dillon 35:06 You're eating in a resort. You're not going anywhere outside of the resort, because you, you would get harpooned.

Joe Rogan 35:11 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 35:12 So, you're eating in a resort and then there's a black SUV that takes you back to the airport, like here.

Joe Rogan 35:16 It's bulletproof.

Tim Dillon 35:17 It's bulletproof.

Joe Rogan 35:18 You got armed guards flanking you on each side.

Tim Dillon 35:19 You know, the one time that you didn't have that, I was on the Impractical Jokers cruise, which they have a cruise, they do a cruise. And they're, they're great guys. And, uh, w- a bunch of comics came on to entertain people that were waiting to see them. People waiting to see them. But we would come on and go, "Hey," and they would, they would think it was them and they'd be like, "Okay, it's this guy." And they were fun audiences and everything. But then the cruise would dock and w- you would go to this little town in Mexico that was like, clearly didn't exist. It was just like, you know-

Joe Rogan 35:45 Ghosts.

Tim Dillon 35:45 Yeah, all these cruise lines had bought, uh, just, a certain amount of beachfront and made it a town.

Joe Rogan 35:49 Oh.

Tim Dillon 35:50 Yeah. A- an- they'd do this. It was called Costa Maya. They, they literally do this. And y- you know, you would walk onto this beach, and then literally, they would like, drive you to the little tourist area, but you would just see people running around with bare feet, roosters. I mean, it was like, you would drive through like, literal and crazy poverty. And you felt horrible because you were just on a boat that had 30 chefs.

Joe Rogan 36:11 Right.

Tim Dillon 36:11 You were just on this disgusting boat with a 24-hour buffet, where people are gorging themselves. And then you go to this island where like, people's bones are protruding out of their bod-... So, it's a w- it's a weird, it's a weird thing when you mix those worlds of like, food, travel, and you know, l- education.

Joe Rogan 36:26 That's often how it is though, if you, if you stay in a resort in a country like Mexico.

Tim Dillon 36:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:31 I was in, uh, Punta Mita-

Tim Dillon 36:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:33 ... at the Four Seasons. Beautiful resort, man.

Tim Dillon 36:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:35 It's so pretty. And-

Tim Dillon 36:36 I've been. K- good job.

Joe Rogan 36:36 ... they have, they have these gor- these, uh, golf carts.

Tim Dillon 36:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:39 And you just r- ride the golf carts around the resort, right?

Tim Dillon 36:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:42 Well, we decided to take the golf cart off the resort. Say like, "What, what happens if we go down this way?"

Tim Dillon 36:47 (laughs) So, we talked to the guy at the booth. We said, "Can we go down this way?" He's like, "Um, yeah, I mean, you can." Sure.

Joe Rogan 36:53 I'm like, "Okay."

Tim Dillon 36:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:54 So we go down this way, me and my fucking wife and-

Tim Dillon 36:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:56 ... our little kids.

Tim Dillon 36:57 In the golf cart.

Joe Rogan 36:58 We drive, yeah. I think the oldest daughter was with us too. And we, we go into the town. And, um, as we're in the town, um, we notice that there's a fucking armored vehicle with like, a tank-

Tim Dillon 37:10 Jeez.

Joe Rogan 37:11 ... with, with metal plate on the front of it, with m- guy with a machine gun, standing on top of the fucking tank. Like, in t- well, like a turret.

Tim Dillon 37:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:19 And, and then like, standing, ready to rock.

Tim Dillon 37:21 What, were you at- staying at Hotel Rwanda?

Joe Rogan 37:23 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Tim Dillon 37:25 Like, what the f- yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:25 They have it set up to protect the resort.

Tim Dillon 37:27 Oh.

Joe Rogan 37:27 And I realize, I'm like, "Oh my God, this is a military base to protect the resort in case some shit goes down."

Tim Dillon 37:33 Wow.

Joe Rogan 37:34 This is crazy.

Tim Dillon 37:35 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 37:35 They were sitting there, ready and waiting.

Tim Dillon 37:38 To just-

Joe Rogan 37:38 Just sitting on the tank- Yeah, mow people down.

Tim Dillon 37:39 ... ready to go, just in case they had to drive a few, like, a quarter mile in towards the resort. That's wild.

Joe Rogan 37:46 Because you gotta realize, like, I mean when we were there, fucking Halle Berry was there-

Tim Dillon 37:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:50 ... and all these famous folks were there, like, all these fucking-

Tim Dillon 37:52 Yeah, so they don't want that in the news.

Joe Rogan 37:54 Oh my God.

Tim Dillon 37:54 They don't want Herry- B- Halle Berry's head on a pike-

Joe Rogan 37:57 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 37:57 ... being walked around that town in Mexico. That doesn't do anything good for the numbers.

Joe Rogan 38:01 No. Well, you saw what happened with that Mormon family in, in Mexico.

Tim Dillon 38:04 What happ- no.

Joe Rogan 38:05 Did you see?

Tim Dillon 38:05 Every now and then, something bad, somebody goes somewhere and it just-

Joe Rogan 38:08 They, they gunned down this family. They gunned down this wife and children and girls.

Tim Dillon 38:12 Well, weren't they missionaries there?

Joe Rogan 38:13 Yes, they were Mormons-

Tim Dillon 38:14 Which is sad, but it's also like-

Joe Rogan 38:15 No, no, no, not missionaries. They live there.

Tim Dillon 38:17 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 38:17 They've, they're... What they is, is the... What they is. They branched off-

Tim Dillon 38:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:21 ... from, uh, Utah in the 1800s when they changed the polygamy laws, and they started up these colonies in Northern Mexico. 'Cause back then, in the 1800s before cars, it really didn't fucking matter if you lived in Mexico or the United States.

Tim Dillon 38:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:33 Like, it was just kinda the same.

Tim Dillon 38:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:35 You're on a horse.

Tim Dillon 38:35 Joe Rogan-

Joe Rogan 38:36 If you're on a horse, it sucks.

Tim Dillon 38:36 ... comes out for open borders. Here we go. There's the clip.

Joe Rogan 38:39 Maybe it'll fix everything.

Tim Dillon 38:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:40 Um, so they, you know, M- Mitt Romney, who- his family is from Mexico.

Tim Dillon 38:46 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 38:47 Yeah, Mitt Romney's dad was born in Mexico-

Tim Dillon 38:50 They seem like-

Joe Rogan 38:50 ... but he never run for office.

Tim Dillon 38:50 ... the least Mexican people ever.

Joe Rogan 38:52 They're Mormons.

Tim Dillon 38:53 Wow.

Joe Rogan 38:53 But they're Mormons who wanted 150 wives. They just wanted to go on a wild fuck fest for Jesus.

Tim Dillon 38:58 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:58 And the only way to do that is over the border. You gotta go over the border. So they set up these towns. So they set up these fucking compounds.

Tim Dillon 39:05 Of Mormons.

Joe Rogan 39:06 Mormons with guns. Over-

Tim Dillon 39:08 In Mexico.

Joe Rogan 39:08 Yeah, over the border in Mexico, Northern Mexico, and...... apparently, um, they, the cartel and them had beef and they put out a fucking hit on this family and they, they shot down the wife, the daughters. I mean, it's just horrific shit, man. They-

Tim Dillon 39:22 Interesting, and I think-

Joe Rogan 39:23 ... killed a bunch of them.

Tim Dillon 39:23 ... I think this was recently, right? And I think in-

Joe Rogan 39:25 Couple weeks ago.

Tim Dillon 39:26 ... and Jamie, there was an article rec-, I think there was an article that w-, people said it was kind of like victim blaming where they're like, The New York Times ran it, where they were like, "This family had a violent history."

Joe Rogan 39:34 Oh, God. Did they really say that?

Tim Dillon 39:35 Yeah. There was a New York Times article about this family. I, I'm remembering it now, where they were basically like, "This family's had a vi-, long violent history." Or, "Their name has been synonymous with violence." Which is an interesting article to write, igh-, you know, right after they were massacred.

Joe Rogan 39:48 Well, sometimes you read articles that are written and you just go like ... Do you remember when Baghdadi died?

Tim Dillon 39:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:53 And they, they killed Baghdadi and they, they said, um, there was a, uh, Washington Post called him, "An austere religious scholar."

Tim Dillon 39:59 That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 40:00 You're like, "Uh, he's the fucking head of ISIS."

Tim Dillon 40:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:02 "They threw gay people off the roof."

Tim Dillon 40:04 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 40:04 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 40:04 It's also weird though that we're st-, I don't even, like, when they're like, "We killed Baghdadi." It's like, "Who's Big Daddy again?"

Joe Rogan 40:10 Big Daddy (laughs) .

Tim Dillon 40:11 Big Daddy? Who's this? Who ... What? No one, it's w-

Joe Rogan 40:16 You know what it's like? It's like if you're paying attention to like s-, like Division II college school-

Tim Dillon 40:21 I can't ... Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 40:21 ... baseball players (laughs) .

Tim Dillon 40:22 Yeah. I can't pay attention. It's like we-

Joe Rogan 40:25 There's so many.

Tim Dillon 40:26 We gotta get ov-, we can't live in the psychic terror of ISIS forever. Remember ISIS? They used to just release a lotta content online. They would saw people's heads off with those rusty things. It looked like they were doing it up the block in a warehouse in Studio City, to be quite honest.

Joe Rogan 40:40 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 40:40 I'm sure they were. I'm sure the CIA wasn't doing that. But it was a little weird, like a- these videos would drop and then everybody would be like riveted and then they would just start beating the war drums again. They'd be like, "It's time to-"

Joe Rogan 40:50 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 40:50 "... we gotta go to war. Look at, look at these people. They're doing horrible things." And then that hasn't happened in a while, so we don't, we're not even thinking about ISIS.

Joe Rogan 40:57 Well, there was, uh, one-

Tim Dillon 40:58 They trot ISIS out-

Joe Rogan 40:59 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 41:00 ... when, when they need s-, like to g-, uh, invest us in something.

Joe Rogan 41:04 Well, there's not that many of them realistically anymore.

Tim Dillon 41:06 Yeah, there's, I, I remember-

Joe Rogan 41:07 They're still plotting shit, but, you know, their numbers have been diminished pretty substantially.

Tim Dillon 41:11 Yeah, I think you've said it on this show and I, I had a guy on my show, this guy John Kiriakou was a CIA guy who said, "Listen, we have decimated Al-Qaeda within a week or two of being in Afghanistan."

Joe Rogan 41:20 Yeah. I wa-

Tim Dillon 41:20 And it's like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:21 I wanted to bring this up with you-

Tim Dillon 41:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:22 ... because this is a conspiracy that I just remembered-

Tim Dillon 41:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:24 ... while we were talking about this.

Tim Dillon 41:25 Okay.

Joe Rogan 41:25 Do you remember when there was a journalist that was murdered? He was like-

Tim Dillon 41:28 Daniel Pearl.

Joe Rogan 41:29 First guy to be beheaded.

Tim Dillon 41:30 Correct.

Joe Rogan 41:30 And the, the, the conspiracy theory was he was beheaded by someone who was other than, uh, s-, was it from Iraq that they were supposed to be?

Tim Dillon 41:41 I believe so.

Joe Rogan 41:41 Was it Taliban that supposedly did it to him, or some other sect?

Tim Dillon 41:45 I, I'm trying to think. I don't think it was the Taliban. I think he was in ... Daniel Pearl, I think, was in Iraq, right?

Narrator 41:51 Pakistan.

Tim Dillon 41:51 He was in Pakistan.

Joe Rogan 41:52 Pakistan.

Tim Dillon 41:52 And h- he was, I g- I guess it was Taliban or, you know, T-

Joe Rogan 41:56 But what the, the conspiracy theory was they were paying attention to the size of the men who were behind him.

Tim Dillon 42:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:02 And they're like, "This, this does not fit with our profile of Pakistani or Muslim men. This looks like an American. He looks like a big country-fed fucking American assassin."

Tim Dillon 42:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:14 And that they did this-

Tim Dillon 42:15 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 42:15 ... sort of as a false flag.

Tim Dillon 42:17 Right. So it was just a guy that looked like Brendan Schaub standing behind-

Joe Rogan 42:20 Exactly.

Tim Dillon 42:20 ... Daniel Pearl. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:21 Yeah. Like you and Brendan Schaub back to back.

Tim Dillon 42:23 Yeah. M- just, um, just sawing off his head.

Joe Rogan 42:24 Yeah. They were like, "The hands are too big."

Tim Dillon 42:25 Which we would both do.

Joe Rogan 42:26 I'm sure you would for-

Tim Dillon 42:27 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:27 ... SAG card.

Tim Dillon 42:28 Anything. For, for anything.

Joe Rogan 42:30 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 42:30 For, for free dental.

Joe Rogan 42:31 You know?

Tim Dillon 42:31 Just free dental, we would do it. Um-

Joe Rogan 42:33 But they, they said the hands were too big, like the guys were too thick that these people are not common over there.

Tim Dillon 42:37 Well, I mean, remember all the photos of bin Laden? A lot of different photos of bin Laden popped up.

Joe Rogan 42:41 Oh, yeah.

Tim Dillon 42:41 And it l-, it was like nine different guys.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Yeah. Yeah.

Tim Dillon 42:44 It re-, it really did look like it was like not the same person.

Joe Rogan 42:48 Nobody in the SEAL community has ever given me a straight answer whether or not they believe the official story.

Tim Dillon 42:55 Well, they all died, right? SEAL Team Six did-

Joe Rogan 42:57 No, no, no. No, no, no. The guy who killed them is-

Tim Dillon 42:59 Is alive.

Joe Rogan 43:00 ... been ... Yeah.

Tim Dillon 43:00 But-

Joe Rogan 43:00 He's been on tour and-

Tim Dillon 43:01 ... aren't a l-, didn't a lot of people on SEAL Team Six die?

Joe Rogan 43:03 They died after that.

Tim Dillon 43:05 In a h-, in a, in a crash?

Joe Rogan 43:05 Yes.

Tim Dillon 43:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:06 Yes. Yes.

Tim Dillon 43:07 I mean, it's odd.

Joe Rogan 43:08 What are you saying?

Tim Dillon 43:09 I don't know. I mean, it's just strange.

Joe Rogan 43:10 Tinfoil hat? Are you going tinfoil hat on me?

Tim Dillon 43:12 I'm just saying, this, this could, you know-

Joe Rogan 43:13 'Cause you love tinfoil.

Tim Dillon 43:15 I mean, I think, I (laughs) j-

Joe Rogan 43:17 You're a fan (laughs) .

Tim Dillon 43:18 I, I think right now with, with what just happened with Epstein-

Joe Rogan 43:22 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 43:22 ... people are ... You can't get away with this stuff anymore.

Joe Rogan 43:24 Well, what happened with Epstein, this is what I like about it.

Tim Dillon 43:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:28 It's, it was so blatant-

Tim Dillon 43:30 (laughs) So blatant.

Joe Rogan 43:30 ... and so outrageous that people go, "Hey, maybe they did fucking kill Kennedy."

Tim Dillon 43:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:34 Like, yeah. Maybe they did.

Tim Dillon 43:35 They absolutely did.

Joe Rogan 43:36 Maybe they fucking did.

Tim Dillon 43:36 And I was just doing shows in Fort Worth and I was looking at these audiences and I was going, "They'd kill him again."

Joe Rogan 43:42 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 43:42 "They'll kill him again." Give these people a couple of shots of tequila, another shot goes right through Kennedy's head.

Joe Rogan 43:47 Well, if there was another one like Kennedy. Like let's-

Tim Dillon 43:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:51 Let's think. If someone took over after Trump and this-

Tim Dillon 43:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:55 ... guy was trying to get rid of the NSA and get rid of the CIA-

Tim Dillon 43:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:58 And, and you know, and then there was some sort of a-

Tim Dillon 44:00 He's going to the mafia and industrialists, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:02 Yes. And there was so-, and the mafia fucking got him into office in the first place.

Tim Dillon 44:05 100%, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:05 And so they, they were like, "Hey, you fucking piece of shit."

Tim Dillon 44:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:07 "We're the reason why you're here. We rigged Chicago for you." And so then-

Tim Dillon 44:11 (coughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:11 ... he has this military blunder at the Bay of Pigs and so then the military's after him, everybody's angry, the Cubans are angry.

Tim Dillon 44:16 He says he wants to splinter the CIA-

Joe Rogan 44:18 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 44:19 ... into a thousand pieces and give all, like, peacetime intelligence gathering capability to the military.

Joe Rogan 44:23 If we had someone like that-

Tim Dillon 44:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:25 ... some guy like that ... And by the way, he was fucking everything that moved too.

Tim Dillon 44:29 Yeah. I mean, and he was-

Joe Rogan 44:30 It was a different world back then.

Tim Dillon 44:31 ... doing drugs and everything.

Joe Rogan 44:32 Woo!

Tim Dillon 44:32 You know? He was enjoying himself.

Joe Rogan 44:34 He was on meth.

Tim Dillon 44:35 Yeah. That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 44:35 He was on meth. They had a doctor, Doctor Feelgood. That's where the name came from.

Tim Dillon 44:38 And they would go-

Joe Rogan 44:39 The fucking Mötley Crüe song.

Tim Dillon 44:39 Doctor Feelgood.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Doctor Feelgood.

Tim Dillon 44:40 Feelgood. And it was Kennedy's doctor?

Joe Rogan 44:43 Yes.

Tim Dillon 44:43 Wow.

Joe Rogan 44:44 Yes. Yes.

Tim Dillon 44:45 That's when being president was a great job.

Joe Rogan 44:46 Well, they all were on it.

Tim Dillon 44:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:47 That's how they fucking got the party moving.

Tim Dillon 44:49 Yeah. Just, just meth heads.

Joe Rogan 44:51 Man, he's a busy man.

Tim Dillon 44:52 Running, yeah, you k- yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:52 He's got things to do. It's hard.

Tim Dillon 44:54 Yeah, it's true.

Joe Rogan 44:54 I mean, listen, this is the argument for Trump being on amphetamines right now.

Tim Dillon 44:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:58 How the fuck else you gonna run a country?

Tim Dillon 45:00 Yeah. You have to, you have to be a little amped.

Joe Rogan 45:02 A little amped up.

Tim Dillon 45:03 He's definitely amped.

Joe Rogan 45:04 Got a little piece of something.

Tim Dillon 45:05 But I li-, I like seeing him ... I like seeing him, you know, when he goes big.

Narrator 45:09 What as a sidebar, uh, South Dakota today started a new, uh, campaign, anti-meth campaign, but it is, uh, onmeth.com and-

Tim Dillon 45:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:17 Yeah.

Narrator 45:17 ... meth, we're on it, is the slogan.

Tim Dillon 45:20 ... that-

Joe Rogan 45:20 Oh, my God.

Tim Dillon 45:20 ... they spent over 450 grand figure in this out.

Joe Rogan 45:22 I mean, there's not anybody in-

Tim Dillon 45:23 What? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:24 Did you spend how much?

Tim Dillon 45:25 450 grand of taxpayer money to figure this out.

Joe Rogan 45:27 Dude. Oh, my God. Meth addiction.

Tim Dillon 45:28 This is why people hate the government, 'cause nobody was able to stop this and say, "Hey, this is not the best."

Joe Rogan 45:34 This is the dumbest fucking ad campaign I've ever seen in my life. "Meth: We're On It." That sounds like a fucking Onion article.

Tim Dillon 45:39 It's like a rap song or something. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:40 Like a bad rap song.

Tim Dillon 45:41 This is so South Da-

Joe Rogan 45:43 Does it seem like an Onion article?

Tim Dillon 45:44 I love what it says. It goes, "South Dakota has a problem. There isn't a single solution because meth is widespread, but we can approach it from different angles so it doesn't take over counties, towns, neighborhoods. Let's work together. Meth: We're On It." God.

Joe Rogan 45:57 Mm. What's up with that fucking brown water? Turn that back up. Put that back on. How about you fix that fucking toilet water you got your kids swimming around in?

Tim Dillon 46:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:05 Look at that water. It's disgusting.

Tim Dillon 46:07 Yeah. Meth is probably-

Joe Rogan 46:07 You got more than one problem.

Tim Dillon 46:09 Yeah. Meth is not even in the top 10 problems-

Joe Rogan 46:11 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 46:11 ... in South Dakota. Meth is what you need to get on to fix the other problems in South Dakota.

Joe Rogan 46:16 (sighs)

Tim Dillon 46:16 The whole town council's got some meth.

Joe Rogan 46:17 Yeah. You need to start cleaning.

Tim Dillon 46:19 But Epstein, they just charged guards? I mean, this is hilarious.

Joe Rogan 46:23 Yes, yes, yes.

Tim Dillon 46:23 This is a very funny comic. Nick Mullen on Twitter was like, "Oh, yeah. This is the justice we all wanted, the guards." You know?

Joe Rogan 46:29 Well, no. Here's what's good.

Tim Dillon 46:30 Not the... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Two prison guards tasked with watching Jeffrey Epstein on night he killed himself. (laughs) Tr- they should fucking... charged with falsifying records.

Tim Dillon 46:39 And conspiracy.

Joe Rogan 46:41 And conspiracy.

Tim Dillon 46:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:41 Here's why that's good. Somebody paid those guys, and they're gonna sing, or they're gonna die. Something's gonna happen. Either they're gonna take those guys and they're gonna-

Tim Dillon 46:48 I think it's a way to satiate the public. I don't think there is... I mean, I don't think that Barr, the attorney general, has any real desire to get to the bottom of what happened. I mean, this is clearly obviously sexual blackmail. Epstein was involved with intelligence, whether it's US, whether it's Mossad, it's somebody. His island was a honey pot. He had powerful people in compromising positions. Uh, he was an a- probably, like, an access agent where he would give these intel agencies access to int- insanely powerful people, ex-presidents-

Joe Rogan 47:16 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 47:16 ... people like that. So there, uh, if you don't wanna open up that wound because it's just g- it's never gonna stop bleeding, and guys like Barr who are in, you know... This is a guy that's participated in multiple coverups. He, you know... I don't think he has any really interest in... He's, he's a lifelong government official. You, you could say Deep State, you could say whatever it is, but he's just a career... His job is to protect the interest of these power factions in Washington, these government agencies. There's no way they open this up, and there's no, there was no way that they could've had Jeffrey Epstein in open court pointing fingers at maybe prime ministers and presidents. It would tear countries apart. It'd be the biggest political scandal in our lifetime.

Joe Rogan 47:59 I just can't believe they just murked him like that, though. They didn't just murk him. They murked him twice.

Tim Dillon 48:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:03 Here's what I wanna know. When he tried to commit himself- suicide the first time, were the cameras broken then, too?

Tim Dillon 48:10 Great question. I don't know. I don't-

Joe Rogan 48:11 How come we never heard that?

Tim Dillon 48:12 Well, we, we didn't see any footage of him... I've never seen any footage of him in a ce- I mean, they, they haven't released any footage of the cameras ever working. Right? I mean, from what I can-

Joe Rogan 48:20 No, but did they-

Tim Dillon 48:21 ... understand.

Joe Rogan 48:21 ... even comment on it? Remember the first time e- he attempted to commit suicide and he lived?

Tim Dillon 48:26 I think they got it. Yeah. I don't know. That's a good point. I mean, I think they, they, they, he, he, they found him. They transferred him. I don't know if they have photographic evidence of him doing that.

Joe Rogan 48:36 Google what happened the first time Epstein tried to kill himself. 'Cause I'm n- that's, that's an interesting thing.

Tim Dillon 48:43 And where is, uh... Yes, a very interesting thing.

Joe Rogan 48:44 So do they know for sure? Did they watch the footage and see him tying a rope around his neck and put it-

Tim Dillon 48:49 And then, and then they went in and go, "Next time, you gotta do it like this."

Joe Rogan 48:52 Right.

Tim Dillon 48:52 "You tie the knot stronger. You, you take off from the chair." Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:56 My favorite thing was the cellmate, the cellmate that they gave him.

Tim Dillon 48:59 Oh, yeah, which is like a long... It was a, a West-

Joe Rogan 49:01 A gorilla.

Tim Dillon 49:01 A cop who... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:02 A gorilla cop.

Tim Dillon 49:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:03 A huge-

Tim Dillon 49:03 From West Chester.

Joe Rogan 49:05 Huge, huge skinhead-looking dude.

Tim Dillon 49:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:07 Italian guy.

Tim Dillon 49:08 Coked out.

Joe Rogan 49:09 Giant muscles-

Tim Dillon 49:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:10 ... who killed a bunch of fucking people-

Tim Dillon 49:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:12 ... and sold drugs. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 49:13 Just (laughs) , just him and Epstein.

Joe Rogan 49:15 (claps hands)

Tim Dillon 49:15 And they got along.

Joe Rogan 49:16 But... He was so, he was, like, the s- like, Hollywood stereotype of the last guy-

Tim Dillon 49:22 Guy-

Joe Rogan 49:22 ... you would want in your fucking cell.

Tim Dillon 49:23 ... you'd wanna be in a cell with.

Joe Rogan 49:25 The big Guido-

Tim Dillon 49:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:26 ... ex-corrupt cop with giant muscles.

Tim Dillon 49:28 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:30 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 49:30 It's like-

Joe Rogan 49:31 He's this monster.

Tim Dillon 49:31 ... and connected to the law. I mean, it just seems like-

Joe Rogan 49:34 Yeah. ... if that's the guy... I mean, that would g- be the guy that... Maybe he's the guy who killed him.

Tim Dillon 49:37 Who knows?

Joe Rogan 49:37 I mean, he's a giant fucking guy.

Tim Dillon 49:38 I mean, guys like that, I'm sure, would take a bribe pretty easily, and they-

Joe Rogan 49:41 Oh, yeah.

Tim Dillon 49:42 ... and, and those guys don't open their mouths, you know?

Joe Rogan 49:43 Just for fucking cigarettes.

Tim Dillon 49:44 Yeah. Why not? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:45 I mean, he can't-

Tim Dillon 49:46 Just-

Joe Rogan 49:46 ... open his mouth. He's in jail.

Tim Dillon 49:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:48 Right? They got him locked up, and they go, "Look-"

Tim Dillon 49:49 And who knows in lat- listen, if they-

Joe Rogan 49:51 Tommy, come on.

Tim Dillon 49:51 Right. Tommy, do this. And-

Joe Rogan 49:52 Tom, you were here forever. You like killing people.

Tim Dillon 49:54 I think they gotta watch the b- I don't know if they can do this, but they gotta watch the bank accounts. Now, obviously, the people that are paying off people are pretty smart.

Joe Rogan 50:00 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 50:00 There's ways to hide money. But somebody got paid off, substantial amount of money.

Joe Rogan 50:04 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 50:05 Somewhere, somewhere that-

Joe Rogan 50:07 He might not have.

Tim Dillon 50:08 You don't think so?

Joe Rogan 50:09 Y- this is a weird one. Like, this one-

Tim Dillon 50:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:11 This one involves so many people. Money might not have been passed around.

Tim Dillon 50:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:16 You know what I mean? Like, somebody just might have called in favors for this-

Tim Dillon 50:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:19 ... and said, "Hey."

Tim Dillon 50:20 Where is his-

Joe Rogan 50:20 "Just hide."

Tim Dillon 50:21 Yeah. Where is Ghislaine Maxwell?

Joe Rogan 50:23 Oh, that bitch is in Brazil.

Tim Dillon 50:24 Yeah. Somebody said she was in LA.

Joe Rogan 50:26 Yeah. She was in LA at an In-N-Out Burger with a fucking book-

Tim Dillon 50:29 And they staged a photo.

Joe Rogan 50:31 ... about murdered CIA agents. Yeah.

Tim Dillon 50:32 And they released a staged photo.

Joe Rogan 50:34 Mm-hmm.

Tim Dillon 50:34 And I don't know what the fuck she was thinking. Like, "Oh, America will forgive me if they see I'm eating fast food." I don't even understand.

Joe Rogan 50:39 No, no, no, no, no. She was trying to release a message.

Tim Dillon 50:42 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 50:42 Yeah. She was reading a book about-

Tim Dillon 50:45 About-

Joe Rogan 50:45 ... CIA agents that had been murdered.

Tim Dillon 50:47 Yeah, but what's the point of that message?

Joe Rogan 50:48 I'm trying to say he's a fucking intelligence agent.

Tim Dillon 50:51 Right. Yeah, 100% it's... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:51 You know, that was something that was actually said by... Was it one of the attorney generals when they were prosecuting this init- this init-

Tim Dillon 50:58 Acosta, Alejandro Acosta-

Joe Rogan 50:59 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 50:59 ... said Epstein-

Joe Rogan 51:00 He's intelligent.

Tim Dillon 51:00 ... would belong to intelligence.

Joe Rogan 51:02 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 51:02 Well, if you just look at... This has happened-

Joe Rogan 51:05 There it is.

Tim Dillon 51:05 Yeah. There's the photo.

Joe Rogan 51:06 So does it show the book?

Tim Dillon 51:07 Uh, you can- It is another photo. I think you can see the side of the book.

Joe Rogan 51:11 Hmm, okay.

Tim Dillon 51:13 But they also added in that, that movie poster, which is-

Joe Rogan 51:15 That's right.

Tim Dillon 51:16 ... very confusing.

Joe Rogan 51:16 Somebody swapped out the, the movie poster. They Photoshopped, u- they took advantage of this opportunity to promote a fucking film.

Tim Dillon 51:23 Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:23 Wasn't it the Seth Rogen movie?

Tim Dillon 51:24 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:24 Hilarious.

Tim Dillon 51:25 This is an interesting product placement-

Joe Rogan 51:26 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 51:27 ... in the, in the background of a human trafficker having a sandwich.

Joe Rogan 51:29 Yeah. At least she's got good taste in, um, in food.

Tim Dillon 51:32 Listen, she's getting good brand deals.

Joe Rogan 51:33 But it's interesting she got, she's got an old iPhone. So she's showing she's struggling a little bit financially.

Tim Dillon 51:38 It's very interesting.

Joe Rogan 51:39 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 51:40 She, she's not on the new iPhone.

Joe Rogan 51:41 That's a, that's a burner. She's got a burner.

Tim Dillon 51:43 Well-

Joe Rogan 51:44 She probably had five different phones. She probably drives them ... Oh, there it is.

Tim Dillon 51:46 These, these are ... You know, I think it's hard for people to understand that, like, elements of the CIA or the Mossad would condone the abuse of children to get leverage and information on people. But that's kind of what's happened before.

Joe Rogan 51:58 Yeah, I think they just figured, "Look, these 15, 16-year-olds, they're gonna keep their mouths shut." I mean, we're, we're talking about when, when this happened, this is all a long time ago, right?

Tim Dillon 52:07 It wasn't that long ago.

Joe Rogan 52:09 Like, how long ago did it start?

Tim Dillon 52:10 I mean, it ... Well, it's, it's-

Joe Rogan 52:11 90s? '80s?

Tim Dillon 52:11 It's been going on for a whol- for probably for a very ... Decades, but-

Joe Rogan 52:15 Right, but my point was-

Tim Dillon 52:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:16 ... when it initially got started, they probably didn't have the internet, right?

Tim Dillon 52:19 100%.

Joe Rogan 52:19 When did they ... When did he start bringing people out to the island?

Narrator 52:22 He got the island, I think, uh, t- late '90s, early 2000, 2001 type period.

Joe Rogan 52:26 Yeah, so nobody really understood the concept of social media or where it was all gonna go.

Tim Dillon 52:31 Now, we gotta-

Joe Rogan 52:31 What's really crazy is, like, no one's ever accounted for how that fucking guy got all that money.

Tim Dillon 52:35 Well, Les Wexner, who was the, the head of Victoria's Secret, was like his mentor and they were buddies, and Wexner gave him ... And you know what's so funny about the mainstream press? You know, the Wall Street Journal ran some article. They're like, "How could a guy like Les Wexner, who sold women's jeans forever, you know, get t- get, uh, uh, totally bamboozled by Jeffrey Epstein?" It's like no- nobody there thought that it was maybe a, a pathological relationship and that those guys knew each other and maybe were into similar stuff or whatever. I don't know, but maybe there was a, a mutual benefit to them knowing each other.

Joe Rogan 53:08 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 53:08 They think that somehow this billionaire got bamboozled by Jeffrey Epstein, which is just insane to think.

Joe Rogan 53:16 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 53:16 But that's the way the press thinks. They're like, "This guy's a CEO of a multinational ... I mean, he's ... I'm sure he's f- uh, didn't do anything untoward."

Joe Rogan 53:23 Yeah, well, they got a prince.

Tim Dillon 53:26 I'm sure he's innocent. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:26 The, the prince di- ... The interview with the prince was fascinating.

Tim Dillon 53:29 Yeah, well, my favorite thing about that was ... I think the prince is autistic or something and the people on Twitter were like, "Don't make fun of him."

Joe Rogan 53:34 Is he?

Tim Dillon 53:34 "He's got some ..." I think he is. He's got something and the people on Twitter were like, "Hey, don't shame him for hi-" (laughs) I'm like, "Okay, can we just ..."

Joe Rogan 53:44 How do you know when someone's autistic? Like, there's a, there's a spectrum, right? When is it on? Like, when do you ... Do you look up a fucking strip and then go-

Tim Dillon 53:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:52 ... "Oh yeah, bro, you got it."

Tim Dillon 53:53 Well, a lot of people th- uh, now, for whatever reason, it's, it's becoming more and more obvious.

Joe Rogan 53:58 More diagnosed.

Tim Dillon 53:59 It's more diagnosed and you ... I think you've even talked about it before. It's people, people are not socializing with each other face-to-face as much and so there's a lot of, like, awkward-

Joe Rogan 54:09 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 54:09 ... people that, you know, maybe are on the spectrum and maybe aren't. They're trying to ban clapping (laughs) because-

Joe Rogan 54:16 I saw that-

Tim Dillon 54:16 ... you know, they're gonna ban-

Joe Rogan 54:17 I saw that too. They wanted to, wanted to do jazz hands.

Tim Dillon 54:20 Yeah, they wanted to do jazz hands.

Joe Rogan 54:20 'Cause some people have a real problem with loud noises.

Tim Dillon 54:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:22 L fucking O-L. Prince Andrew forced to scrap visit to flood-stricken York as he's called into crisis talks at Buckingham Palace.

Tim Dillon 54:31 How sad.

Narrator 54:32 Oh, this-

Joe Rogan 54:32 Summoned for crisis talks.

Narrator 54:34 ... recently did, I guess.

Joe Rogan 54:34 Oh, right now?

Narrator 54:35 Yeah, like it's happening now or something.

Joe Rogan 54:37 It's happening right now. Crisis talk. He ... They're gonna fucking hang him too.

Tim Dillon 54:40 Some of his answers were so crazy.

Joe Rogan 54:42 Yes. "Well, if my attorney advises, I will testify."

Tim Dillon 54:44 He's like, "I don't know. When a man has sex..." Like, he went into this whole thing that was just completely m- ... He's clearly, he was clearly ... Had a relationship with Epstein that wasn't good.

Joe Rogan 54:54 I think, uh, Epstein knew how to do it.

Tim Dillon 54:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:58 You know? I mean, I think-

Tim Dillon 54:58 And so did Clinton, so did a lot of these people.

Joe Rogan 55:00 Yeah. Clinton flew with Epstein 26 times.

Tim Dillon 55:03 All the time.

Joe Rogan 55:05 And I've been telling people, I go, "I haven't flown with my mom 26 times."

Tim Dillon 55:08 I- I haven't flown with anyone 26 times. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:10 Yeah, maybe-

Tim Dillon 55:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:11 ... Jamie and I decided we maybe flew together 10 times and, uh-

Tim Dillon 55:14 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:15 ... maybe Hinchcliffe and I have done 26 times. W- Hinchcliffe and I have probably flown as many times-

Tim Dillon 55:20 Right. You'll regret that when Tony gets outed for whatever he's doing.

Narrator 55:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:22 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 55:23 (clapping hands)

Joe Rogan 55:28 They're gonna find home video of Tony with Joker costume on.

Tim Dillon 55:36 Yeah, 100%.

Joe Rogan 55:37 100%.

Tim Dillon 55:38 100%.

Joe Rogan 55:38 100%, yeah. 100%. But he's got a, a Joker is on his screensaver on his phone.

Tim Dillon 55:42 I love him. I lo- I, I, I love how he's the nicest guy in the world, but he just has a look that's ... He looks-

Joe Rogan 55:47 He got a lot of mean in him.

Tim Dillon 55:47 He looks ... He has a lot of mean.

Joe Rogan 55:49 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 55:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:50 You, you see it come out as comedy sometimes, but it's like-

Tim Dillon 55:51 Every now and then there's a fla- ... You know, on Kill Tony, which is so much fun, sometimes I'll sit next to him and then you'll see, like, somebody, uh, whether a comic ... They might go over by ... And you just see a flash go through Tony.

Joe Rogan 56:02 Anger.

Tim Dillon 56:03 Just a flash of anger-

Joe Rogan 56:04 Horror.

Tim Dillon 56:04 ... and you're like, "This is real. This could be a real issue."

Joe Rogan 56:07 Yeah, and you see a, uh, c- y- th- the dungeon door cracks open just a little bit and you get to see the dragon back there.

Tim Dillon 56:12 Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You just go, "Aah." I'm like three times his size. I'm terrified of him.

Narrator 56:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:17 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 56:17 I'm just absolutely terrified of making any kind of enemy.

Narrator 56:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:20 (laughs)

Narrator 56:20 "She's on Dr. Phil."

Tim Dillon 56:21 Who is this?

Narrator 56:22 Yeah, he's ... Dr. Phil found her tw- uh, two weeks ago.

Joe Rogan 56:24 No.

Tim Dillon 56:24 Is it ... No.

Narrator 56:25 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 56:25 Oh, this is the girl?

Narrator 56:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:27 Oh, man. Can I call-

Tim Dillon 56:28 She's gonna start dating Prince Andrew.

Joe Rogan 56:30 I should call up, I should call up ... I should call up Dr. Phil and ask him if I can play this footage.

Tim Dillon 56:34 Uh, I'm sure Phil will be okay with it.

Joe Rogan 56:36 Well, hey.

Narrator 56:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:37 I don't have a problem with it at all. It's a little tiny person pretending to be a baby. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 56:42 Yeah, ph- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:43 What did she say when he talked to her?

Narrator 56:45 She said it's not true.

Joe Rogan 56:47 What did she say? She's really a baby?

Narrator 56:49 "Uh, uh, I want people to hear my side." They say that you scam ... Uh, this is Phil talking. They say you scammed them and she says it's not true at all.

Joe Rogan 56:56 Okay, but what did she say? Scroll down a little bit. What, what does she say here? "Natalia now lives with another Indiana couple and their five children, LOL. The man's family, according to dailymail.com," blah, blah, blah, "ordained pastor." Oh, these suckers have been with Jesus. "Were all ... Were you at all concerned at the time that we could be putting the children in jeopardy?" McGraw asks the, the family. "We're supposed to help," the family says. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. "They just so happened to come across this person that was not being treated right and cared enough to put the effort to make sure that something was done about it," she said. These suckers. They're gonna get busted.

Narrator 57:29 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 57:29 Yeah, I mean, these are-

Joe Rogan 57:30 They're gonna ... These are just-

Tim Dillon 57:30 ... these are people that deserve to be killed.

Joe Rogan 57:32 (laughs)

Tim Dillon 57:33 Hopefully she carves this family up and I-

Narrator 57:35 We didn't get to this.

Joe Rogan 57:36 Oh, okay. Well, it's clear this ...

Tim Dillon 57:36 You can't feel ... (laughs) I was like, "Is that the family?"

Narrator 57:39 It's the end of the story. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 57:39 I just looked at that quickly. I'm like, "Is that the person that adopted her?"

Joe Rogan 57:42 Dude, by the way, look at that picture.

Tim Dillon 57:44 Well, this is an LA agent-

Joe Rogan 57:45 It's a great, it's a great book.

Tim Dillon 57:45 ... that represents Greta Thunberg and all the crisis kids.

Joe Rogan 57:48 That, that's a great book.

Tim Dillon (character bit) 57:49 ... (censored) child activists. I do hang around tragedies looking for kids who haven't. Greta, baby, you killed it at the fucking UN! You're an animal! Why are you crying, honey? Oh, okay. No. Are there cameras on you? Keep crying. Throw yourself on the floor. Throw yourself on the floor right now. Malala left me for a competitor and we haven't heard her fucking name in two years.

Tim Dillon 58:10 Who's Malala? She's the girl that got shot-

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:13 I never will forget. David Hogg won't take a fucking meeting. I sent 30 pairs of sneakers to his dorm.

Joe Rogan 58:18 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:18 Jesus Christ. Tell Malala she's gotta come out as non-binary if she wants heat now.

Joe Rogan 58:22 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:22 That's the way it is. Nobody gives a shit about landmines anymore.

Joe Rogan 58:26 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:27 It's all climate. Climate is sexy.

Joe Rogan 58:29 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:29 Climate and guns. Clean water? That hasn't been hot since the (laughs) fucking late '90s. Do people even fucking drink water? Wake the fuck up.

Joe Rogan 58:38 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:38 I got the Covington kids and Nathan Phillips on a reconciliation tour opening for Lizzo. Who is it, Emma González?

Joe Rogan 58:46 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:46 Don't put her through. She's fucked me for the last time.

Joe Rogan 58:49 Oh.

Tim Dillon (character bit) 58:49 I had her booked at Davos. She got sick. You get sick at Davos? We got a new version of the Paul Brothers from Syria. They're fucking hilarious. They do pranks. One of them is missing an arm and they, they have fun with that. It's great. We got a kid with a cleft lip, but he's cute. I want Hogg at Madison Square Garden. People are turning in their guns and crying to him.

Joe Rogan 59:11 (laughs)

Tim Dillon (character bit) 59:11 They're handing their guns over to him and they're crying. Yeah, this is just Jason. I gotta call for David. (phone thuds on table)

Joe Rogan 59:16 Mm.

Tim Dillon (character bit) 59:16 Yeah, just let him know that I called. We actually sent some stuff in the mail over if he could take a look at it. Just a few sneakers and... Okay, sure. Yeah. (laughs) (phone thuds on table) We got a kid right now, he has no limbs, he is fucking hilarious, and he does a whole bit about the refugee crisis. You have no idea how hard this kid is gonna hit when he hits. Do you understand? No limbs. We walk him out, we put him in a seat, and he just fucking goes, man. He just goes. These kids will own you one day. I will make sure of it. They will fucking own you. (hand thuds on table) I got a three-year-old from Iceland named Gunnar. He loves economics. He's talking about debt peonage. I got him at the World Bank in three weeks. (hand thuds on table) Fuck you!

Joe Rogan 1:00:04 So, I mean, eventually YouTube's gonna go, "We're not... This... We're not participating in this." Are you worried about that?

Tim Dillon 1:00:09 I don't... I think I am a little bit because-

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Gavin McGuinness is still on YouTube.

Tim Dillon 1:00:12 I know. That's true. That... Well, that's who I, I wanna be like. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 That's your canary in the coal mine. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 1:00:16 Yeah, that's, that's... (laughs) I like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 Stefan Molyneux, he's still on.

Tim Dillon 1:00:20 I appreciate this. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 1:00:21 Yeah.

Tim Dillon 1:00:21 Yeah. No, I mean, listen, I like Gavin. Gavin's a nice guy. But the, the reality is, I think that YouTube seems like they're done with, like, small creators. My channel is pretty small, Tim Dillon Show. It's not a huge channel.

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 Let's make it bigger.

Tim Dillon 1:00:35 Let's make it bigger.

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 Let's make it... Tim Dillon Show-

Tim Dillon 1:00:36 Tim Dillon Show-

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 ... on you, on YouTube.

Tim Dillon 1:00:38 ... on YouTube.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 Please-

Tim Dillon 1:00:38 On YouTube.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 ... subscribe, uh, contribute-

Tim Dillon 1:00:40 Yeah, so that when they get rid of it in a month, I can, I could at least get mad about something.

Joe Rogan 1:00:43 Send positive comments only.

Tim Dillon 1:00:45 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 Even if they're, like, sarcastic.

Tim Dillon 1:00:48 Yeah. (laughs) They'll be... Somehow the positive comments will be worse.

Joe Rogan 1:00:52 You look great. (laughs)

Tim Dillon 1:00:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:54 You don't look fat at all.

Tim Dillon 1:00:56 I mean, so we do these videos, they're a