Joe Rogan Experience #1404 - Bryan Callen

Joe Rogan 0:00 (singing) Brian Callanan had his first taste of turmeric coffee.

Bryan Callen 0:06 That's right.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Do you know there's an R in turmeric?

Bryan Callen 0:08 Yes.

Joe Rogan 0:08 A lot of people don't.

Bryan Callen 0:09 I've been eating turmeric since, well, the '70s, back when I was living in India.

Joe Rogan 0:13 I would've bet my life there was no R.

Bryan Callen 0:15 (laughs) Really?

Joe Rogan 0:15 Until about four months ago.

Bryan Callen 0:16 Turmeric?

Joe Rogan 0:16 Yeah, I didn't think there was an R.

Bryan Callen 0:17 Turmeric.

Joe Rogan 0:18 I thought it was turmeric.

Bryan Callen 0:19 Yeah. I thought it was-

Joe Rogan 0:20 I thought it was T-U-M-E-R-I-C or whatever.

Bryan Callen 0:22 No, the Indians have been using it forever.

Joe Rogan 0:24 Oh, yeah, they have.

Bryan Callen 0:25 That's why I walk around-

Joe Rogan 0:26 But I'm just saying I didn't know how to spell it.

Bryan Callen 0:27 That's why as a kid I had no inflammation in my body.

Joe Rogan 0:29 You just ate turmeric all the time.

Bryan Callen 0:31 That's right.

Joe Rogan 0:31 Did your pee smell weird?

Bryan Callen 0:32 I was the turmeric kid.

Joe Rogan 0:33 What else makes your pee smell weird besides asparagus?

Bryan Callen 0:36 Um, I think sometimes coffee. My, my... Look-

Joe Rogan 0:39 Hmm.

Bryan Callen 0:39 ... I'm 52. My body is betraying me.

Joe Rogan 0:42 Hmm.

Bryan Callen 0:42 Which is why I'm having my Laird Hamilton Super Coffee right now.

Joe Rogan 0:45 That's good stuff, right? Look at him.

Bryan Callen 0:46 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:46 His body's not betraying him.

Bryan Callen 0:47 Yeah, but what happens-

Joe Rogan 0:48 He's still jacked at 55.

Bryan Callen 0:49 ... what ha- what happens is when your body is... When I feel like I'm in wet cement when I wake up. Now, uh, now for the first time in my life, my feet, I gotta warm them up before I get out of bed, all that bullshit.

Joe Rogan 0:58 Hmm.

Bryan Callen 0:59 Now, uh, now old Brian's going to a doc, I'm gonna tell you this right now, on Joe Rogan, I'm gonna get jacked.

Joe Rogan 1:05 I told you.

Bryan Callen 1:05 I'm gonna get... If I look a little venier-

Joe Rogan 1:07 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 1:07 ... and my, my skin looks a little more flushed, don't ask questions. Just know that I got a good doc there.

Joe Rogan 1:12 You gotta get on the TRT, bro.

Bryan Callen 1:14 I can't wait. I can't wait.

Joe Rogan 1:15 Shoulda got on a long time ago. Why didn't you listen to me?

Bryan Callen 1:17 I don't know. I just... 'Cause I, 'cause I wanna think that, you know, my body, my testosterone's-

Joe Rogan 1:22 Hmm.

Bryan Callen 1:22 ... a little higher than everybody else's. It was an ego thing. But now, you know what? We're all mortal.

Joe Rogan 1:27 Yes.

Bryan Callen 1:28 Like, little things-

Joe Rogan 1:29 Well, I have wear and tear for sure from all the years of beating up my body, like joints and stuff like that. Like I just had to get some stem cells shot into my knee. I've had some shot into my shoulder, stuff like that.

Bryan Callen 1:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38 But in terms of, like, energy and, like, vitality and health, I feel fucking great.

Bryan Callen 1:44 Yes. Here's what I do. Here's my, here's my...

Joe Rogan 1:47 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 1:47 I can see it. You got a real, you got a... Ooh, you're wiggly.

Joe Rogan 1:49 I do. I'm 52. I feel fucking great. I'm in the sauna almost every day. I have a sauna here.

Bryan Callen 1:54 Mm-hmm. Really?

Joe Rogan 1:55 I got a sauna at my house. Yes.

Bryan Callen 1:56 You and I are gonna sauna after this Russian style.

Joe Rogan 1:57 We're gonna sauna all... Let's do it. Let's do it.

Bryan Callen 1:58 All right.

Joe Rogan 1:58 Dude, it's so good for you, man. It means something. Something's happening.

Bryan Callen 2:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:02 For sure.

Bryan Callen 2:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:03 After I get out of there, I'm just, like, a little looser. It's a, it's a percentage. I don't know what percentage it is. It's... Is it 10%? Is it, is it more? But there's a feeling that you get after you do a good sauna session where everything is just, like... (sighs) It feels good. It feels good.

Bryan Callen 2:16 Yeah, but, you know, a lot of this also has to do with arriving at a point in your life where you're happy with this... What you've done, the decisions you've made. So I sleep, for me, eight hours of sleep, seven and a half hours. Pfft. And then I... If... As long as I don't eat for 12 hours. So if I eat a- if I finished eating at 8:00, uh, I'll start eating at 8:00 again or 10:00. Uh, that for me, 12, 12 to 14 hours, uh, I guess it's intermittent fasting.

Joe Rogan 2:41 Yes.

Bryan Callen 2:41 Those two things. I haven't had a cold in, I don't know, 15 months.

Joe Rogan 2:45 You're so trendy.

Bryan Callen 2:46 I know.

Joe Rogan 2:46 Um, Pavel.

Bryan Callen 2:47 I am.

Joe Rogan 2:47 Pavel tolds me... Tolds me?

Bryan Callen 2:48 Tolds me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:49 Pavel Tsatsouline.

Bryan Callen 2:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:51 Uh, who's an amazing-

Bryan Callen 2:52 The, uh, kettlebell monster.

Joe Rogan 2:53 Amazing... Love that guy. Fucking such an honor to have him in here. I'm a big fan of that guy. He told me he eats once a day.

Bryan Callen 2:59 Really?

Joe Rogan 2:59 Big giant meal at dinner, that's it.

Bryan Callen 3:01 At dinner?

Joe Rogan 3:02 Yep.

Bryan Callen 3:02 So how does he stay... Uh, I don't... I think I get-

Joe Rogan 3:05 He's just hard, bro.

Bryan Callen 3:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:06 Like nails.

Bryan Callen 3:07 Yeah, but I think I get-

Joe Rogan 3:08 Dude's hard.

Bryan Callen 3:08 ... I get s- fucking skinny if I don't.

Joe Rogan 3:11 He shakes your, he shakes your hand like this. Aw. Like he looks you in the eye and shakes your hand. I'm like, "Bro, are we fighting?"

Bryan Callen 3:15 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:16 What's happening here? This is a fucking heavy duty handshake. He's like-

Bryan Callen 3:19 Just an arresting alpha.

Joe Rogan 3:20 He's an animal.

Bryan Callen 3:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:22 He's an animal. And his, his methods are so, uh, you know, like, contrary to how you would normally think about, like, weightlifting in particular, like, going to failure all the time. But yet, also makes sense.

Bryan Callen 3:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:35 Like he's saying, do it more often, have longer breaks. Like, it's about strength. Like, strength is the most important thing. Strength.

Bryan Callen 3:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:42 And his company's called Strength First for that reason.

Bryan Callen 3:44 Really?

Joe Rogan 3:44 Yeah. He's like, "You wanna do..." Like s- if you can do something for 10 repetitions, you wanna do about 5, and then you wanna wait between 5 and 10 minutes before you do it again.

Bryan Callen 3:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:54 And he's right.

Bryan Callen 3:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:55 It makes sense. If you just do... Y- y- most of us do not have that kind of fucking time. And for sure, you can get in tremendous shape with a CrossFit workout-

Bryan Callen 4:03 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:03 ... or a hi- what is it? HIIT? High intensity?

Bryan Callen 4:05 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:06 Where you're doing box jumps and-

Bryan Callen 4:06 I, I prefer that.

Joe Rogan 4:07 ... cal- you can certainly-

Bryan Callen 4:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:09 ... get... Look, there's some people out there that are in phenomenal shape working out like that.

Bryan Callen 4:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:12 But what makes sense about what he's saying is just, like, you know, the, the amount of time required for your body to recover. If you give yourself your body's ability to recover in between sets-

Bryan Callen 4:23 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:24 ... you let everything sort of come back to baseline before you jack it up again, like, another set.

Bryan Callen 4:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:29 Like, your body has more time to recover and you can perform more work. And so your body adapts better.

Bryan Callen 4:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:34 The idea is that you're overwhelming your body when you're going to failure, you're just beating the shit out of it.

Bryan Callen 4:39 Well, you're, you're also getting injured.

Joe Rogan 4:40 Yes.

Bryan Callen 4:40 It'd be interesting to see how many of his big guys are not stay inj- get injured in... 'Cause my in- my... I- it's not fair so- fair, but my impression of every CrossFit athlete that I know is always like this. Watch. Nah, I'm getting back into it. I just gotta pull the-

Joe Rogan 4:54 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 4:54 It, there... It's something's always-

Joe Rogan 4:54 But that's jujitsu too, man.

Bryan Callen 4:55 Yes. Same thing.

Joe Rogan 4:56 You know, and I'm a big proponent of that as well. But as you get-

Bryan Callen 4:59 Look, the thing is-

Joe Rogan 4:59 ... older, you... I don't, I can't get injured. I'm, I'm-

Bryan Callen 5:01 Yes.

Joe Rogan 5:01 I'm doing, you know... I, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a thespian.

Bryan Callen 5:04 Yes.

Joe Rogan 5:04 I'm on a show called Skooled-

Bryan Callen 5:05 You work.

Joe Rogan 5:05 ... on ABC, guys.

Bryan Callen 5:07 And you jump around a lot. You're a lot... You're very physical.

Joe Rogan 5:09 I'm very phy- by the way-

Bryan Callen 5:10 You look like a dancer.

Joe Rogan 5:11 By the way, sp- do you wanna talk about physical? On the show, we had, uh, Bill Goldberg on. And you know Bill.

Bryan Callen 5:18 I love that dude.

Joe Rogan 5:19 The best. I, I love him. Now, he walks around at a very trim, he's my age.

Bryan Callen 5:25 60. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:25 Oh, 260. Uh, when he was wrestling he was 280. It, and, and you don't-

Bryan Callen 5:30 He's giant.

Joe Rogan 5:30 ... what y- what you don't realize is he played professional football for, I think it was four or seven years. So he's the real deal and just a real athlete. So- Also a very nice guy.

Bryan Callen 5:39 The best. I love him.

Joe Rogan 5:40 Yeah. He did a, hosted a show called, um, um... What was it called? Garage Mahal.

Bryan Callen 5:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:45 And they redid my garage and turned it into, like, a, like, a whole training center. Like with a cage.

Bryan Callen 5:50 Oh, that's awesome.

Joe Rogan 5:50 They put a cage and hung heavy bags and-

Bryan Callen 5:52 That's awesome.

Joe Rogan 5:52 ... put pictures of, like, old UFC fights on the wall. It's fucking amazing.

Bryan Callen 5:56 Yeah. He's a guy who brings it 100%, like, every time, whether it's acting... And so... And by the way, he comes in and I'm like, "Your neck looks so thick." He goes-

Joe Rogan 6:05 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 6:05 ... "It's the first thing I work out."

Joe Rogan 6:06 I love that.

Bryan Callen 6:06 "First thing." He's one of those guys-

Joe Rogan 6:07 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 6:07 ... like Chuck Liddell, when you're close to him, he breathes differently.

Joe Rogan 6:10 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 6:10 Like, you know when you... W- with a, a race car. (imitates engine revving) Like he's... (imitates breathing heavily)

Joe Rogan 6:15 Yeah, like a fucking-

Bryan Callen 6:15 You're like, "What's going on?"

Joe Rogan 6:16 ... Shelby GT500.

Bryan Callen 6:18 Yeah. I'm like, "How much did you put in that motor?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:19 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 6:20 He's so big. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:20 I'm like, "How much did you sleep?" He's like, "I don't sleep. I've been, uh, I've been..." And anyway, so we had this thing where I was playing a quarterback and he had to-

Bryan Callen 6:27 Listen to the fucking size of that guy.

Joe Rogan 6:29 Oh, it's ridiculous.

Bryan Callen 6:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:30 That's what he looks like right now. That's what he looks like right now. And insisted-

Bryan Callen 6:34 He is so big.

Joe Rogan 6:34 ... he had his, he had a stunt double. The stunt double didn't do anything. He did all the stunts himself to the point where he had to, he had to rush at me, uh, in a touch football game. I, I'm the quarterback and he had to hit two dudes. Bro, look at that picture.

Bryan Callen 6:49 No, I mean-

Joe Rogan 6:49 I mean, smoked a little weed before this podcast, I'm not gonna lie to people.

Bryan Callen 6:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:52 But that picture's kind of freaking me out.

Bryan Callen 6:54 He's got a great body. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:55 That's why he's so big. (laughs) He's so massive.

Bryan Callen 6:57 He's-

Joe Rogan 6:58 But here's the thing about him, man. It's really interesting. That r-... The, the profession of professional wrestling is unbelievably brutal on your body.

Bryan Callen 7:06 Yes.

Joe Rogan 7:07 And all those guys, I don't think, get respected enough for how hard that job is to do. They're doing it hundreds of nights.

Bryan Callen 7:15 They get hurt. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:16 200 plus nights a year and they're throwing each other around and they get smashed. But what I was gonna say is, he has come out of it better than most.

Bryan Callen 7:25 Yes.

Joe Rogan 7:26 For sure.

Bryan Callen 7:26 Because he's never stopped working out.

Joe Rogan 7:28 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 7:28 And he never stops stretching. So we'll be on set, that guy is stretching. He says, uh, "Length is strength." He's, he's always moving his body.

Joe Rogan 7:36 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 7:37 And, you know, it's like... Kurt Angle told me on the set of Warrior, he told me that he got injured way more... He's a gold medalist in the Olympics, uh, as a wrestler. Got w- injured way more doing professional wrestling and, and-

Joe Rogan 7:47 Oh, for sure.

Bryan Callen 7:47 And he to-... And, and Bill told me the same thing. But he had to come at me and he said, "Look, I'm gonna come at... I'm gonna knock these two guys down and I'm gonna... I'm coming for your head."

Joe Rogan 7:57 No!

Bryan Callen 7:58 "I'm gonna dive and come at your..."

Joe Rogan 7:59 Oh, no.

Bryan Callen 7:59 "... so you have to duck."

Joe Rogan 8:00 This is unschooled?

Bryan Callen 8:01 Yes.

Joe Rogan 8:02 Oh, no.

Bryan Callen 8:02 So I'm like, "Oh, oh, okay."

Joe Rogan 8:03 Oh my gosh, so you have to duck.

Bryan Callen 8:04 But, but I had never seen, I'd never been that close to a pro, a f- a former pro football player. It's, uh, they, they... These are stuntmen, strong guys, but it's a different thing. He would just come off that line and his speed, and he would hit these two dudes with his... He'd go like that and the thud, the... It sounded like w- I... Maybe when an, when two elephants hit, like just, you know that, that, that... (imitates thud)

Joe Rogan 8:26 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 8:27 And they would go, they would... They went flying backwards horizontal and then he comes and dives and would come for my head and I, I could... We kept having to do the takeover because I'm a coward and I would, I would, you know... I look like a potato bug. You know where you... (imitates crying) Anyway, uh-

Joe Rogan 8:43 I feel like Goldberg is a guy who could do the same kind of movies that The Rock does.

Bryan Callen 8:47 I do too.

Joe Rogan 8:48 I feel like he could be a gigantic movie star.

Bryan Callen 8:50 I do too. I think he's a good actor. That's the other thing. Uh, I think, uh, uh, he's really good on the show. Look at, look at him.

Joe Rogan 8:55 He could be... He's a gigantic dude and I think he could be a big movie star. I think he could do any kind of those action movies. I know he is done a bunch.

Bryan Callen 9:02 Yep.

Joe Rogan 9:02 But I mean, I think he could be a huge megastar. He's got all the personality.

Bryan Callen 9:07 100%.

Joe Rogan 9:07 He's a really nice guy.

Bryan Callen 9:09 100%.

Joe Rogan 9:09 Smart, funny.

Bryan Callen 9:10 Yeah, he's great.

Joe Rogan 9:11 He's smart. He's with it.

Bryan Callen 9:12 Yep.

Joe Rogan 9:12 Like, you talk to the guy, he's right there.

Bryan Callen 9:14 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:15 And very humble for a fucking ridiculously huge giant person.

Bryan Callen 9:19 Just such... But such a weird athlete. His hands, (laughs) his fingers. Like, I, I was like, "How do you dial a cell phone?"

Joe Rogan 9:25 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 9:25 Your fingers are too fucking thick. You're hitting two numbers.

Joe Rogan 9:27 Hey, Jimmy Pedro, um, w- who was working for Fuji at the time and, uh, they installed... Oh, no. He was working for Zebra, excuse me, at the time and, uh, they... Uh, he works for Fuji now. Then... Jimmy Pedro was a gold medalist in the Olympics with Judo.

Bryan Callen 9:40 Jesus. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:40 And Jimmy Pedro set everything up and he, he put the, um... They put these mats down on, like, a raised platform so it had, like, a little bounce to it. Like, if you, if you fell-

Bryan Callen 9:51 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:51 ... you got slammed or something like that. And so they tested it out. And so by testing it out, Jimmy Pedro, who probably weighs 175 maybe?

Bryan Callen 9:59 Let me see.

Joe Rogan 9:59 You know, was lean, thin, very strong guy.

Bryan Callen 10:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:02 Throwing around Goldberg.

Bryan Callen 10:03 Oh, he was?

Joe Rogan 10:04 Yeah. I mean, Goldberg was letting him.

Bryan Callen 10:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:05 He was executing throws on him.

Bryan Callen 10:07 Yeah. I mean, Goldberg will throw himself.

Joe Rogan 10:08 But you see Pedro's technique is such that it's so good that he can do this.

Bryan Callen 10:12 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 10:13 Like, look how easy. That's my garage, son.

Bryan Callen 10:15 Wow.

Joe Rogan 10:15 So watch how he, watch, watch how he does this. I mean, this is al- also... This is Jimmy Pedro way after he's done, uh, competing.

Bryan Callen 10:23 Doesn't matter.

Joe Rogan 10:23 He teaches now. But look at that. Boom, son.

Bryan Callen 10:25 Look at that. Look at that technique. Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 10:27 Look at the way... Those hip tosses. Fucking p- perfect.

Bryan Callen 10:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:30 Just perfect technique.

Bryan Callen 10:32 Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 10:32 Look how much bigger Goldberg is than him, but he can throw him around and now he's showing Goldberg how to do it.

Bryan Callen 10:36 Yeah. Goldberg-

Joe Rogan 10:37 Goldberg knows all this shit already.

Bryan Callen 10:38 Have you ever see him kick and punch? God, that's-

Joe Rogan 10:39 Yeah, man, I have. I've seen him work out. He's fucking legit as fuck.

Bryan Callen 10:42 Very much so.

Joe Rogan 10:43 Tha- that's, uh, uneducated-

Bryan Callen 10:44 He had Mike in a fight.

Joe Rogan 10:45 ... statement. He's fucking legit as fuck.

Bryan Callen 10:46 He's legit as fuck. Oh, it is? Turn around.

Joe Rogan 10:47 Oh, no. I said it's fucking legit as fuck. I added an extra fuck and it ruined the whole sentence.

Bryan Callen 10:52 (laughs) It's all about harmony.

Joe Rogan 10:53 Yeah, but, um, he's, uh... Like I said, he's with it.

Bryan Callen 10:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:57 It's there.

Bryan Callen 10:58 Mm.

Joe Rogan 10:58 He's also, um, like, remarkably uninjured for someone who did what he did for so long, like, this-

Bryan Callen 11:04 Yeah. He knows a lot about f- exercise physiology about him.

Joe Rogan 11:06 I know he's got some bumps. I know he's got some shit going on, but he l- he still looks like him.

Bryan Callen 11:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:10 You know what I mean? A lot of these guys are fucked up, man, where the back injuries have forced them to be, like, uh, like, very tight and rigid-

Bryan Callen 11:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:17 ... and they can't move so good anymore. You know, that's where Diamond Dallas Page has done an amazing job is, like, getting these guys into yoga-

Bryan Callen 11:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:25 ... and getting these guys specifically into his style of yoga, which is, like, a lot of dynamic tension stuff too.

Bryan Callen 11:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 11:30 He's helped so many of those guys get over, like, serious back injuries because he does.

Bryan Callen 11:35 He has?

Joe Rogan 11:35 Yes. 'Cause Da- d- Dallas' back was fucked up, man.

Bryan Callen 11:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 11:39 I mean, all those years of getting body slammed, all those years of picking up giant guys.

Bryan Callen 11:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:43 All that shit. His back was fucked up and he still has a fucked up back, but he does yoga every day and his back is so strong that it keeps everything in place.

Bryan Callen 11:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:53 So all those yoga techniques with a, with a, what it's really done better than anything for these wrestlers is stabilize their back.

Bryan Callen 12:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:00 Like, through, through, like, a dynamic range, right?

Bryan Callen 12:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:03 You know, you're doing standing bow, you're doing... You know, you're, you're leaning-

Bryan Callen 12:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:06 ... forward and, uh, d- doing, like, that tee thing when you stand on one leg. All that kind of shit is tremendous for your spine and your cord and so that protects, like, a lot of guys with back injuries.

Bryan Callen 12:16 That's him right there?

Joe Rogan 12:17 Yes, dude.

Bryan Callen 12:17 Look at that.

Joe Rogan 12:18 Bro, he's in his 60s. He s-... He did that without even-

Bryan Callen 12:20 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 12:21 He did that without even warming up out here in the garage.

Bryan Callen 12:23 I could never do that. I gotta get su-

Joe Rogan 12:24 He just picks up his foot and stands up like that.

Bryan Callen 12:26 The fuck?

Joe Rogan 12:26 Bam. I think Dallas is, like, 66 or something like that.

Bryan Callen 12:30 Wow. Wow.

Joe Rogan 12:30 He's in tremendous shape. He's a great guy too. Like, super-

Bryan Callen 12:33 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 12:34 ... super infectious personality. Like, he's so friendly and happy, and he does so much for, uh, for other people that are sick and injured.

Bryan Callen 12:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:41 He's got a bunch of videos of these guys. Like that guy right there?... who was so fucked up that he was, uh, walking with crutches. He could barely get along.

Bryan Callen 12:49 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 12:49 And by the end of it, Dallas had him running, he had him doing yoga. Look at there, he's standing on his head. Like, he made-

Bryan Callen 12:56 Dude-

Joe Rogan 12:56 ... the guy lost this shitload of weight.

Bryan Callen 12:59 ... that's fucking ... You gotta do, you, keeping flexible is more important than anything else, I think.

Joe Rogan 13:03 Dallas helps these guys. He even had a fu-

Bryan Callen 13:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:05 He had a separate house, right? Where he was keeping, like, Jake the Snake and a couple of these guys in. He had a separate house for them. Like, he was, like, helping-

Bryan Callen 13:11 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 13:11 ... rehabilitate them and bring them back to health.

Bryan Callen 13:14 The other thing about getting older is you get sore faster. I had to have a ... Oh, this is fucking such a stupid thing. I, it's a fucking ... I had to have a wrestling match with my jeans. Don't ask. I had to get it-

Joe Rogan 13:24 Why?

Bryan Callen 13:24 ... and I couldn't get them off, in the-

Joe Rogan 13:25 Why are you having-

Bryan Callen 13:25 ... in the show.

Joe Rogan 13:26 ... on the show.

Bryan Callen 13:26 In the show.

Joe Rogan 13:26 Why don't you get stretchy jeans?

Bryan Callen 13:28 No, but it was part of the comedy, you know.

Joe Rogan 13:31 Oh, that you couldn't move good in your jeans?

Bryan Callen 13:32 Yeah, and, uh-

Joe Rogan 13:33 So they give you extra tight jeans?

Bryan Callen 13:34 ... I don't wanna give away. Guys, I don't wanna give away the episode at school. You know what I'm saying? Just-

Joe Rogan 13:37 (sighs)

Bryan Callen 13:37 You're gonna have to wait. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 13:38 Can you see your hog?

Bryan Callen 13:39 And, uh ... And you can see-

Joe Rogan 13:40 Can you see your hog in your pants?

Bryan Callen 13:41 Oh, yeah. Why? I tie it to my leg. I wear it in a holster.

Joe Rogan 13:43 Oh.

Bryan Callen 13:43 As you know, 'cause he's unruly. And he's always wanting to get in the feed bucket, if you know what I mean.

Joe Rogan 13:47 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 13:49 (neighing) (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:50 That wasn't part of the joke, though, was it?

Bryan Callen 13:51 Sorry.

Joe Rogan 13:51 Your hog.

Bryan Callen 13:52 No, but I, I had to do that-

Joe Rogan 13:54 High pants.

Bryan Callen 13:54 ... like, f- 10, 50, 50 takes. And, uh, well, I was sore the next day.

Joe Rogan 13:58 Oh, yeah. For sure.

Bryan Callen 13:59 I was sore the next day.

Joe Rogan 14:00 Did you have mats?

Bryan Callen 14:01 From comedy. I was sore from b- from physical comedy yesterday.

Joe Rogan 14:04 That's some serious physical comedy. And-

Bryan Callen 14:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:06 ... that, that is, uh, a point that I've, I've heard before and I don't know if this is true, but many people have told me ... And this is, like, this long-standing thing that, you know, Chevy Chase is kinda known as a grumpy guy.

Bryan Callen 14:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:18 They said that Chevy Chase did so many pratfalls that he's in pain all the time.

Bryan Callen 14:23 Hmm. That's in- that's interesting.

Joe Rogan 14:25 Just stop and think about all the times you saw Chevy Chase fall down-

Bryan Callen 14:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:29 ... in movies and in TV shows. And one of the things that happens, obviously to, uh, older athletes that play football or combat sports or boxing, is th- th- getting beat up like that, getting slammed around like that. They get bad backs, they get headaches, they get a little bit of PTSD.

Bryan Callen 14:46 You just don't feel good.

Joe Rogan 14:47 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 14:47 You're always in pain.

Joe Rogan 14:48 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 14:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:49 And, uh, especially athletes get the PC- PTSD. Um, but what, what you're seeing with him, it, it very well could be that that guy hurt his body real bad doing pratfalls. Buster Keaton, who was, like, the very first-

Bryan Callen 15:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:02 ... ever stuntman, who did crazy shit, man. If you ever watched, like, some old Buster Keaton films-

Bryan Callen 15:08 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:08 ... the stunts that that guy did, back when they couldn't fake anything-

Bryan Callen 15:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:11 ... like, nuts.

Bryan Callen 15:12 S-

Joe Rogan 15:12 But was always getting beat up. His body was fucked up, man. Yeah, let's hear Chevy Chase falling down. Bro, I got news for you.

Bryan Callen 15:20 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 15:20 This is all legit. And he fell a lot, man. Constantly. He was, like, almost like a Tom Green type character, but also-

Bryan Callen 15:27 I didn't know this.

Joe Rogan 15:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, a brilliant actor and comedian.

Bryan Callen 15:30 Yep.

Joe Rogan 15:30 So he fell all the fucking time.

Bryan Callen 15:33 All right.

Joe Rogan 15:33 So I am guessing, as a person who's fallen a bunch of times-

Bryan Callen 15:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:37 ... that guy's probably in pain a lot.

Bryan Callen 15:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:39 Like, all the time.

Bryan Callen 15:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:40 Like, people always say Chevy Chase is so grumpy.

Bryan Callen 15:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:42 Maybe he's just fucking in pain all the time.

Bryan Callen 15:44 Yeah, maybe he just doesn't feel good.

Joe Rogan 15:45 Dude, no. Dude, you can't feel ... There's no way. Dude, that's just a few.

Bryan Callen 15:49 I know.

Joe Rogan 15:49 He fell on Saturday Night Live all the time. He f- didn't he fall on Fletch? Remember that cop movie?

Narrator 15:55 ... try to think. National Lampoon, I think he fell through the ceiling.

Bryan Callen 15:58 Fell out everything.

Narrator 15:58 Or, I think a lot of things ...

Joe Rogan 15:59 Bro, he fell through everything.

Bryan Callen 16:00 So for me, the, I was-

Joe Rogan 16:01 Some of it might've been Stuntman.

Bryan Callen 16:02 I was, I was boxing so much, and what I would do is I would just get in the ring and I would just start hitting mitts kinda light. And f- and by light, I mean, you know, I don't know, 30%, and then in about a minute, I'm try- I'm going full because I'm warmed up, I'm r- I'm, I feel great.

Joe Rogan 16:15 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 16:16 And a guy who was a trainer walked by. He's a, he's, he used to be a pro football player. And, and now he trains a lot of pro athletes and he knows his shit. And he walked by and he goes, uh, he looks at me and he goes, I think, uh, Chris Camacho. Chris looked at me and goes, uh, he just went, he goes, "Not warming up again, huh? Guy in his 50s? Cool, just going at it, huh?" And he just looked at me and he kinda went, "Yeah." That's all he said. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:41 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 16:41 He knew, he knew. And sure enough, sure enough, I'm still t- a- and now, I haven't been able to box in, I don't know, three months.

Joe Rogan 16:49 Dude.

Bryan Callen 16:49 'Cause I fucked myself up. 'Cause I didn't warm up, because-

Joe Rogan 16:52 You're talking to a moron who had stem cells shot in his knee the other day because I tore my meniscus in a kicking contest with Joe Shilling-

Bryan Callen 16:59 (laughs) I saw it.

Joe Rogan 16:59 ... without my pants on.

Bryan Callen 17:00 (laughs) I saw it.

Joe Rogan 17:01 I'm a moron. No warming up at all.

Bryan Callen 17:03 You're kicking a wall. I was like, there's no-

Joe Rogan 17:04 Full blast.

Bryan Callen 17:05 Of course.

Joe Rogan 17:06 Now, it's gotta ... It gives a little bit.

Bryan Callen 17:07 Sure.

Joe Rogan 17:08 'Cause it's a padded thing that's a block that sits on the board-

Bryan Callen 17:11 Whatever.

Joe Rogan 17:11 ... that measures the amount of power. It's got some-

Bryan Callen 17:12 Whatever. I was watching you kick it, going, "That's not good."

Joe Rogan 17:16 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 17:16 "That's not good."

Joe Rogan 17:17 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 17:17 "That wall's not giving."

Joe Rogan 17:19 Ugh.

Bryan Callen 17:19 Yep.

Joe Rogan 17:20 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 17:20 Done it.

Joe Rogan 17:21 It's, um, not ... I'll tell you one thing though. It's, I'm not confident enough to, uh, sidekick it. Like, turning back kick it.

Bryan Callen 17:28 Mm.

Joe Rogan 17:28 Like really, really, like-

Bryan Callen 17:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:29 ... do, like, the hardest kick that I could do-

Bryan Callen 17:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:32 ... into it. I don't want ... It doesn't give enough.

Bryan Callen 17:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:34 You know? Like, a sp- a spinning back kick or a turning sidekick. The amount of torque that's involved when you have that knee up and you're turning a corner and then you shove that fucking thing through.

Bryan Callen 17:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:46 Like, oh my God, the amount of torque that's involved. If that thing doesn't move, that's e- e- that's gonna all be in your knee.

Bryan Callen 17:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:52 I'm not interested in doing that.

Bryan Callen 17:54 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:54 So I won't do that.

Bryan Callen 17:55 No.

Joe Rogan 17:55 But I'll kick it roundhouse kick. Roundhouse kick, you just ... Roundhouse kick, you can kick a sh- a fucking bag that's not even gonna give at all. Like, they have those Fairtex bags that are, like, 300 pounds.

Bryan Callen 18:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:04 You ever seen those big giant-

Bryan Callen 18:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:05 ... fat one? You could dig into that motherfucker and your leg's okay.

Bryan Callen 18:08 'Cause it gives.

Joe Rogan 18:08 Your leg kinda gives too.

Bryan Callen 18:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:10 There's, like, a little bit of flex to a roundhouse kick. But a straight kick, it's, like, so much of it is on the joint of the knee. So much of it, like, a sidekick in particular, so much of it when you extend, like, there's a lot of, a lot of pressure on that knee. And, and a lot of pressure on the foot too if you, if you hit it wrong.

Bryan Callen 18:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:27 Like, if you hit it with the ball of the foot instead-

Bryan Callen 18:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:28 ... of the heel, oh my God, you could break your ankle.

Bryan Callen 18:31 But, you know, some ... I, I feel like guys like Henry Cejudo, those guys that come out of the Olympic training centers-

Joe Rogan 18:35 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 18:36 ... like, the, uh, the, uh, national coach for the g- USA gymnastics team. He was like, "My athletes don't get injured. I mean, for the most part." He said, "Because the, the g- the way we ..."... but still build them structurally. And the boring as shit exercises we have our athletes do before they start kind of putting that kind of pressure on their joints and stuff-

Joe Rogan 18:56 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 18:56 ... is pedantic. It's piecemeal. But it, you, I always wonder, like, I'll see someone like Cejudo, who is a fucking, obviously a maniac with the way he trains.

Joe Rogan 19:06 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 19:06 But he, there's, there's a science th- that when you're, when you live at the Olympic Training Center, there's a science with all those guys. They're, they're, they're working out. There's no meathead shit.

Joe Rogan 19:16 Oh, no question at all.

Bryan Callen 19:16 They're, they're working out-

Joe Rogan 19:17 No question at all.

Bryan Callen 19:17 ... very specifically.

Joe Rogan 19:18 He had those Neuroforce guys in here. That's the name of the company, right? Neuroforce? That, uh, that helped train him. They, they have all these, like, really, like, high-tech, cutting-edge training methods.

Bryan Callen 19:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:29 And, uh, but, you know, he did get injured.

Bryan Callen 19:31 Oh, he did?

Joe Rogan 19:31 He, he fucked his shoulder up in his last fight.

Bryan Callen 19:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:33 He's actually had surgery since then.

Bryan Callen 19:34 In a fight, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:35 Yeah, yeah.

Bryan Callen 19:35 'Cause that's not natural. You're, you know-

Joe Rogan 19:36 Yeah, the, uh, TJ Dillashaw fight, which happened, you know, it was a very quick-

Bryan Callen 19:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:40 Oh, no, no, no, no. Marlon Moraes, that's right. It was the Marlon Moraes fight.

Bryan Callen 19:43 Okay.

Joe Rogan 19:43 It was post TJ Dillashaw. That Marlon Moraes fight was fucking incredible. The fact that that guy was able to weather that storm of that first round-

Bryan Callen 19:51 Pshew.

Joe Rogan 19:51 ... and, and look, Marlon Moraes, in that first round, looked like an assassin.

Bryan Callen 19:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:55 He looked like one of the best fighters ever.

Bryan Callen 19:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:57 And then-

Bryan Callen 19:57 And he is.

Joe Rogan 19:58 ... Cejudo, and he is-

Bryan Callen 19:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:58 But Cejudo just changed everything in the second round. He got in his face. He put it to him. He, he pressured him. And Marlon was, uh, he felt too big, too big when he was cutting the weight. Like, he, he came in-

Bryan Callen 20:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:11 ... too, too heavy, and it was too much of a drain on him. And, um, Cejudo just overwhelmed him.

Bryan Callen 20:16 How would, how would, how would Aldo do, uh, against Cejudo? I've heard from other MMA fighters that they'd like to see that match up.

Joe Rogan 20:22 Well, you, you really would never know until they fought.

Bryan Callen 20:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:24 You'd never, you'd never know. But I like Aldo at 135 pounds.

Bryan Callen 20:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:27 He looked so good against Moraes.

Bryan Callen 20:30 Pshew.

Joe Rogan 20:30 It's interesting that, like, uh, the UFC, it seems like, is saying that Aldo could get a title shot even though he lost the decision to Moraes. So I haven't talked to anybody. I don't know what their position is on that decision, but I didn't think the decision was right. I felt like Aldo controlled so much more of the fight.

Bryan Callen 20:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:46 The, uh, I don't-

Bryan Callen 20:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:47 ... like the, uh, I've said it a hundred times. I'll say it 101. I don't like the way these fights are scored. I, I don't think we should be using this really blunt tool for fine work.

Bryan Callen 20:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:58 I think there's a lot that goes on in a fight. And we should probably have a conference where martial arts experts and, you know, uh, whether it's from different disciplines, wrestling, uh, kickboxing, what, whatever, everybody get together and just let's, let's try to come up with a better solution. Someone should be able to come up with a better scoring system. It doesn't have to be one to 10. This one to 10 is so arbitrary.

Bryan Callen 21:22 R- did you see, um, Aldo landing more shots?

Joe Rogan 21:25 Yes.

Bryan Callen 21:25 He did?

Joe Rogan 21:26 I felt like he was pressuring f- w- way more, right?

Bryan Callen 21:28 Yes, he was.

Joe Rogan 21:28 He, he felt like he was hitting him harder, particularly after the first round. The first round, uh, Moraes has one of the very best switch kicks in the game, man. His left high switch kick-

Bryan Callen 21:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:38 ... he fucks everybody up with that man.

Bryan Callen 21:39 Yeah. And Aldo just blocks it, bop, you know?

Joe Rogan 21:41 You know? Well, he got hit with it.

Bryan Callen 21:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:42 Like the first-

Bryan Callen 21:43 Yeah, he did. First second, yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:43 ... shot that Moraes threw was that fucking switch kick, man. His left switch kick is a thing of beauty. It's so fast, but it's also so loose.

Bryan Callen 21:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:51 He throws it like a whip, man.

Bryan Callen 21:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:53 It's, it surprises you. It surprises me. And I've seen him do it to Jimmy Rivera. I, I've seen him do it to, uh... Who else did he do it to? He's done it to a bunch of guys.

Bryan Callen 22:03 Just comes outta nowhere.

Joe Rogan 22:04 Yeah, yeah. Who the fuck else did he catch with that left switch kick? (smacks lips) I can't... Aljamain Sterling.

Bryan Callen 22:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:12 That's right. He caught him with it too.

Bryan Callen 22:13 I didn't see that fight.

Joe Rogan 22:14 Dude, Al-, he knocked Aljamain out cold.

Bryan Callen 22:16 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 22:17 It, it's a big... Check this out. See if you can find... Watch this, watch this shit. So Moraes' switch kick is like, if you wanted to model yourself after a switch kick, it would be his to the head and Barboza's to the body. They're very different. They're very different switch kicks.

Bryan Callen 22:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:32 Because his is, like, faster. It's weird, man. It's like he throws it, and you don't see it coming.

Bryan Callen 22:40 Can you bring it right here?

Joe Rogan 22:41 Yeah, throw it right there. W- what's it... I wanna see the actual one that he landed on Aldo. See that?

Bryan Callen 22:47 Wow.

Joe Rogan 22:47 That was perfect right there, but go to the one that he did on Aldo-

Bryan Callen 22:50 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 22:50 ... if you can find that, the switch kick he landed on Aldo early in the first round. He, he does it so w- it's like a whip. It's like-

Bryan Callen 22:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:57 ... bop. It's so loose. It seems like he just dos- does it effortlessly. Barboza's though, to the body and to the legs, like bap.

Bryan Callen 23:03 Pshew. I've been stabbed in case after that-

Joe Rogan 23:05 Dude.

Bryan Callen 23:05 ... against Paul Fel- uh, Felder.

Joe Rogan 23:08 It's so crazy. It's so crazy. It's so crazy.

Bryan Callen 23:08 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 23:09 Barboza's switch kick is so crazy.

Bryan Callen 23:11 Yeah, it's-

Joe Rogan 23:11 You just go, "What?" There's, their frame's missing from that video.

Bryan Callen 23:14 Horrifying. Horrifying.

Joe Rogan 23:15 It's like there's frames missing.

Bryan Callen 23:16 Yeah, yeah (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 23:17 Right?

Bryan Callen 23:18 Yeah. Who edited... Who edit- they, well, the guy, I think, the 35 or the guy who just fought, um, our boy, uh, Urijah Faber.

Joe Rogan 23:25 Uriyah.

Bryan Callen 23:25 Urijah looked great. Too, 40 years old, looking phenomenal.

Joe Rogan 23:28 Urijah is a monster.

Bryan Callen 23:29 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Christ.

Joe Rogan 23:29 He's a monster. He's so s- he's so strong.

Bryan Callen 23:32 That's a stacked division, man.

Joe Rogan 23:33 It's w- he's strong, man.

Bryan Callen 23:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:35 Like not, I mean, he's one of those dudes that looks normal-

Bryan Callen 23:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:38 ... but I think he's way stronger than he looks.

Bryan Callen 23:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:40 There, there's, there's guys that exist like that.

Bryan Callen 23:42 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 23:43 And a lot of them are-

Bryan Callen 23:43 Like chimp strength.

Joe Rogan 23:44 A lot of them are Russian.

Bryan Callen 23:45 That's right.

Joe Rogan 23:46 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 23:46 A lot of them are Russian.

Joe Rogan 23:47 There's, there's something about some of those Russian dudes-

Bryan Callen 23:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:49 ... you grab them, and you're like, "Hey."

Bryan Callen 23:51 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:51 "What are you made out of?"

Bryan Callen 23:52 And Russian, by the way, you can, you can also say most of the great wrestlers and stuff are from places like Azerbaijan, Dagestan, the Turkmen people-

Joe Rogan 24:00 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 24:00 ... where fighting is a way of life.

Joe Rogan 24:02 (smacks lips) Moraes hits-

Bryan Callen 24:02 A whole different thing.

Joe Rogan 24:03 Okay, watch, watch how he does this. Watch how loose this is.

Bryan Callen 24:05 Oh.

Joe Rogan 24:05 Come on, man. That's amazing.

Bryan Callen 24:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:07 I mean, that's amazing.

Bryan Callen 24:09 Yeah, but Aldo looks great.

Joe Rogan 24:10 It's so sweet.

Bryan Callen 24:11 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 24:11 See how it whips?

Bryan Callen 24:12 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:12 Like, I'm telling you, man, he might be the best in the world with that left high switch kick to the head.

Bryan Callen 24:16 See, Aldo still had his hand up there. I saw it.

Joe Rogan 24:18 Yep. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, Aldo's fine.

Bryan Callen 24:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:20 But he did rock him.

Bryan Callen 24:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:21 He, he definitely caught him.

Bryan Callen 24:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:23 And it, it, I don't care who the fuck you are. That right there is gonna hurt.

Bryan Callen 24:26 Ouch. Yeah, there you go.

Joe Rogan 24:26 Yeah. See, it didn't really block. It just glanced off the top of his head.

Bryan Callen 24:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:30 Dude, Aldo looks amazing at 135. He looks amazing.

Bryan Callen 24:33 Yeah, he does.

Joe Rogan 24:33 I think he could be a world champion at 135. No bullshit.

Bryan Callen 24:36 I can't believe he can suck there, and by the way, and by the way-

Joe Rogan 24:37 He's only 33.

Bryan Callen 24:39 I was gonna say, and I have no problem-

Joe Rogan 24:40 He's 32.

Bryan Callen 24:40 ... with him fighting for the title. You know why? 'Cause for nine years, he was untouchable.

Joe Rogan 24:44 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 24:45 Nine years.

Joe Rogan 24:45 He's either 32 or 33.He is not old.

Bryan Callen 24:49 No.

Joe Rogan 24:49 He's in the par-

Bryan Callen 24:50 33.

Joe Rogan 24:50 He's in his athletic prime.

Bryan Callen 24:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:52 Dude.

Bryan Callen 24:53 Lot of miles on him, though.

Joe Rogan 24:54 Oh, yeah. For sure.

Bryan Callen 24:56 You know?

Joe Rogan 24:56 You see a lot of scar tissue on him, and, you know.

Bryan Callen 24:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:58 But still, he's got a zest for fighting.

Bryan Callen 25:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:00 He fought really hard this past fight.

Bryan Callen 25:03 Yes. Yes, he did.

Joe Rogan 25:03 I mean, whether or not you'd agree with the decision or not, it's, it's a conversation, really. I mean, I'm not right. I have my own opinion. I felt like Aldo did enough to win. I felt like, I think people, they... I think there was a, a moment in the first round where you could say Moraes took control early, landed some good shots, and then he did get the take down later in the, in the fight, in the, in the first round.

Bryan Callen 25:26 Yeah, that's, that, that was significant.

Joe Rogan 25:27 The first round's like a tricky one. The first round's a tricky one. Like I could see you giving that to Moraes.

Bryan Callen 25:30 It was still a close fight. It doesn't matter. I mean, I, I was-

Joe Rogan 25:32 Yes.

Bryan Callen 25:32 I was fine with either one.

Joe Rogan 25:33 Yes.

Bryan Callen 25:34 I wanted Aldo 'cause I love Aldo, but, you know, Moraes.

Joe Rogan 25:36 I just don't buy the way they're scoring things.

Bryan Callen 25:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:38 It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Bryan Callen 25:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:40 I just, I just don't, I don't know how you're gonna get a 10-9 and then another 10-9 is a totally different thing.

Bryan Callen 25:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 25:47 Like you could have a 10-9 where a guy beats the shit out of a guy, and you could have a 10-9 where who knows who won the round. You could have a 10-9 where almost nothing happens or you could have a 10-9 that's crazy.

Bryan Callen 25:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:56 That doesn't make sense to me.

Bryan Callen 25:57 Right. Boxing's-

Joe Rogan 25:57 It doesn't make sense.

Bryan Callen 25:58 Boxing's definitely more clear. Did you like the Ruiz-

Joe Rogan 26:01 Boxing has two we- two weapons.

Bryan Callen 26:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:02 Two weapons.

Bryan Callen 26:02 That's true.

Joe Rogan 26:03 Two weapons.

Bryan Callen 26:03 No take downs.

Joe Rogan 26:04 No take downs.

Bryan Callen 26:05 No, no leg kicks. No head kicks.

Joe Rogan 26:05 No submission attempts. What's better, a take down or punches? What's better, a jab or a body kick?

Bryan Callen 26:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:10 What's better? What's better?

Bryan Callen 26:11 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 26:12 We gotta figure this out.

Bryan Callen 26:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:13 You can't just have guys lose decisions and there's decisions being made by people who shouldn't even be in this conversation-

Bryan Callen 26:21 Well, it's f-

Joe Rogan 26:21 ... as far as like what's more-

Bryan Callen 26:23 I would score-

Joe Rogan 26:23 ... or, or less valuable in terms of like technique.

Bryan Callen 26:26 I would score it like this. I think, so if you're a boxer, j- landing a jab is always easier than landing a right hand against somebody who's equally as good as you are, okay? So r- landing a right hand's a motherfucker. So for me, I would always count... So, so I think that, you know, a, a push kick with your front foot is not the same as a switch kick that blasts somebody in their fucking head or their, their, their-

Joe Rogan 26:48 Right.

Bryan Callen 26:49 ... ribs.

Joe Rogan 26:49 Sure.

Bryan Callen 26:49 I would count those kinds of, um, I don't know how you would, how you would, uh, categorize it, but maybe like the equivalent of what a right hand is, which is somebody trying to actually close the deal and knock you out versus set you up with a jab. Setting you up with a jab, setting you up with a front kick, setting you up with those things is different than blasting somebody with a double leg, blasting somebody with a back foot roundhouse kick, a wheel kick.

Joe Rogan 27:13 Exactly.

Bryan Callen 27:14 Right? So-

Joe Rogan 27:14 There's just so many weapons.

Bryan Callen 27:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:16 There's so many-

Bryan Callen 27:17 I don't know how you would do that though, how would you-

Joe Rogan 27:18 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 27:19 'Cause that's a strike regardless, and sometimes that strike doesn't, you know, it doesn't do anything to you.

Joe Rogan 27:23 And, well, you can, yeah, you can have a guy who's like super durable, right? And you catch him with a couple of really good shots, but then he takes you down and lands a couple good elbows. Who won the exchange?

Bryan Callen 27:32 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 27:33 I mean, maybe if the end of the round is the guy's on top, I have no evidence that you're gonna get up.

Bryan Callen 27:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:38 You know, you might get up eventually, but so far you're on the ground and he's holding you down, he's punching you. That means a lot.

Bryan Callen 27:43 Then again, somebody can take your back, right? And they're controlling you-

Joe Rogan 27:45 That means a lot.

Bryan Callen 27:46 ... but you're doing great defense.

Joe Rogan 27:47 Yeah, but it means a lot that the guy took your back. We gotta, we gotta, I mean, we have to look at in terms of like y- your, your percentage of being successful once you get to a position increases.

Bryan Callen 27:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:59 With the complexity of the position and the control that you get in that position. So, if you get a person in half guard, that is not as good as you having someone's back with the body triangle on and one arm around the neck and one arm controlling the hand.

Bryan Callen 28:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:10 Even if the guy is not tapped, that guy is in significant danger.

Bryan Callen 28:12 Well, wrestling.

Joe Rogan 28:13 Right.

Bryan Callen 28:13 In wrestling, you get a point for an escape. You get a point, you, you, when you take somebody down, you get a point for that, but when you take their back, that's two points.

Joe Rogan 28:20 Right. That's fine.

Bryan Callen 28:21 Because that's college.

Joe Rogan 28:22 But you're close, but you're close to finishing his life.

Bryan Callen 28:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:24 And you have his back.

Bryan Callen 28:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:26 And this points shit, I don't wanna hear this.

Bryan Callen 28:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:27 When you get a guy's back, you got a body triangle in, you got r- an arm around the neck and you're controlling the other arm-

Bryan Callen 28:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:32 ... somehow or another, you're really close to taking his life.

Bryan Callen 28:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:35 That's the difference.

Bryan Callen 28:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:36 So, with this points stuff, it's great. Like what's more important, escape is. When a guy has your fucking back and he has an arm under your chin and, and you're just fighting hands-

Bryan Callen 28:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:46 ... you don't wanna be there, man.

Bryan Callen 28:48 No.

Joe Rogan 28:48 And if he has enough squeeze and enough energy to just fucking clump that... Like, Demian Maia can make people tap across their face.

Bryan Callen 28:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:55 He can. He gets you across your face-

Bryan Callen 28:56 You d-

Joe Rogan 28:56 ... and he cranks your fucking neck. He knows how to manipulate necks, so it's not just like him squeezing and hoping that it works. He's gonna get his shoulder into it, and he's gonna get all this torque into your neck.

Bryan Callen 29:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:06 He doesn't have to go into your neck.

Bryan Callen 29:07 No.

Joe Rogan 29:07 You ever see his fight with, uh, Rick Story?

Bryan Callen 29:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:10 He's choking him and blood is squirting out of Story's nose-

Bryan Callen 29:14 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 29:14 ... as he's squeezing his neck.

Bryan Callen 29:16 Yeah. I mean, it's a whole... That's Demian Maia.

Joe Rogan 29:18 Buh-rush.

Bryan Callen 29:19 Do you know who I, who I train with now, um, who's nice enough to teach me? It's Rigan Machado.

Joe Rogan 29:23 Ah, I love Rigan.

Bryan Callen 29:24 I love m- And by the way, where's his school? I wanna give him a shout out. I'm, I'm... It, it's, it's called...

Joe Rogan 29:27 It's on a beach somewhere, right?

Bryan Callen 29:28 No, it's on, it's on Wilshire. 8126 Wilshire Boulevard. It's fucking awesome.

Joe Rogan 29:32 Bro, he just gave Ashton Kutcher a brown belt.

Bryan Callen 29:34 I know he did.

Joe Rogan 29:34 Ashton Kutcher-

Bryan Callen 29:35 Ashton's supposed to be good.

Joe Rogan 29:36 ... is legit. He must be legit.

Bryan Callen 29:38 I got, I got Schaub so riled up on the podcast 'cause I said to Schaub, Schaub goes, "It just bothered me that Rigan said that Ashton could, could beat Conor McGregor in jujitsu." And I went, I knew I'd get to him, and I went, "Well, he's 6'4", he's got very long arms." And, uh, he goes, "He would destroy Ashton Kutcher in under a minute!"

Joe Rogan 29:58 Ah!

Bryan Callen 29:58 I got him so riled. I was like, "I don't know, bro." I just kept going, "I don't know." He lost his mind, but, uh-

Joe Rogan 30:04 It's, it's not impossible for someone who's really dedicated to jujitsu to get to a point where they could tap an MMA fighter.

Bryan Callen 30:11 Sure.

Joe Rogan 30:11 Because most elite MMA fighters have many, many skills and many, many different like things that they're working on constantly. If you're just concentrating on jujitsu-

Bryan Callen 30:21 It's a different sport.

Joe Rogan 30:21 ... particularly with the leg box guys. Yeah, they're gonna be better at it. Just like if you just go to box, you know, if someone invites you.

Bryan Callen 30:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:30 You know, like, uh, Terence Crawford invites someone to go to his camp and box. Like, i- in fact, TJ Dillashaw said that about Lomachenko.

Bryan Callen 30:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:38 That he boxed with Lomachenko-

Bryan Callen 30:40 I know.

Joe Rogan 30:40 ... and felt like he was just being kind to him.

Bryan Callen 30:42 Of course.

Joe Rogan 30:42 Like he said, he felt like he was (stutters) like once the guy opened up, he's like, "Oh, shit."

Bryan Callen 30:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:47 (laughs) It's just-

Bryan Callen 30:48 Yeah.That's a sport now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:49 But Lomachenko was nice to him-

Bryan Callen 30:51 Of course he was.

Joe Rogan 30:51 ... it didn't, didn't fuck him up.

Bryan Callen 30:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:53 Speaking of warming up, there's a great video of him warming up. And I, I, I watched it, I was like, "Oh, that's how a pro does it."

Bryan Callen 30:58 Lomachenko?

Joe Rogan 30:58 Yeah. He's like, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, switch stance, switch stance-

Bryan Callen 31:03 Yep.

Joe Rogan 31:03 ... switch stance. One arm, one arm, one arm. Everything is slow and methodical. He's not doing anything stupid. He has, like, a whole system that he does to warm his body up before he starts moving really fast-

Bryan Callen 31:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:12 ... and throwing punches.

Bryan Callen 31:13 Mm-hmm. Yeah, and he's-

Joe Rogan 31:14 He's a fucking guy.

Bryan Callen 31:14 ... and he's 26 or whatever.

Joe Rogan 31:15 Yeah, here it is right here. But you watch this and you go, "Yeah, this is what you're supposed to do when you're a fucking professional."

Bryan Callen 31:20 Yeah, methodical.

Joe Rogan 31:21 I've had, I've had a chance to see it live once with Manny Pacquiao.

Bryan Callen 31:24 Really?

Joe Rogan 31:25 Yeah. Manny Pacquiao, um, was doing this thing at Wild Card Boxing, and, uh, I got to watch him train a little bit.

Bryan Callen 31:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:32 And I got to watch him, uh, warm up with these bands. He has these little, little bands-

Bryan Callen 31:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:37 ... and he does these warm up things. He warms everything up, man.

Bryan Callen 31:39 Yeah, man.

Joe Rogan 31:40 His body is a race car, you know?

Bryan Callen 31:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:41 He's not doing that dumb shit that you and I would do.

Bryan Callen 31:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:44 Just go in there and see what, how much can you bench?

Bryan Callen 31:46 You mean just getting in there and going? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:48 Yeah. Ari and-

Bryan Callen 31:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:49 ... Bert and, uh, and Tom were in the back, uh, fucking around with my weights and none of them could do 225.

Bryan Callen 31:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:57 And so I went back there and was like, "Can you do 225?" And I was drunk, I was like, "Fuck yeah, I can do 225."

Bryan Callen 32:02 God damn it.

Joe Rogan 32:03 So I did 225 for 12.

Bryan Callen 32:04 I would've stopped you immediately.

Joe Rogan 32:05 No warm up, 51 years old. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 32:07 Terrible idea.

Joe Rogan 32:08 So stupid.

Bryan Callen 32:09 It's pretty damn good, though.

Joe Rogan 32:10 I'm ho- glad I didn't hurt anything.

Bryan Callen 32:12 That's exactly how you hurt something.

Joe Rogan 32:13 I could've easily gone pop, ah!

Bryan Callen 32:15 Of course.

Joe Rogan 32:16 And the weights come down, boom! Pinned me to the chest-

Bryan Callen 32:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:18 ... I didn't have to roll out from under them.

Bryan Callen 32:19 But you got competitive.

Joe Rogan 32:20 And then my arm swells up with blood-

Bryan Callen 32:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:23 ... because it's ... You ever see a guy when they blow their bicep or their, um, their chest, their pec out?

Bryan Callen 32:27 Yes.

Joe Rogan 32:27 Oh, it's so nasty.

Bryan Callen 32:28 I feel like you and I should do a dance competition and show Bert and, uh-

Joe Rogan 32:33 And Tom up.

Bryan Callen 32:34 ... And To- But Tom and Bert are both athletic dudes. They're actually both athletic guys.

Joe Rogan 32:39 Here's my prediction. Yeah, Tom can dance his ass off.

Bryan Callen 32:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:41 He can legit dance his ass off.

Bryan Callen 32:42 But Bert can ... You ever see him swing a golf club? He's an athletic dude.

Joe Rogan 32:45 Yeah, he's a big dude too.

Bryan Callen 32:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:46 They're both big guys.

Bryan Callen 32:47 They're both big guys.

Joe Rogan 32:48 Um, here's my prediction.

Bryan Callen 32:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:50 They keep ramping it up.

Bryan Callen 32:51 Really?

Joe Rogan 32:52 I don't think we're done. I think, I think you're about to see some epic shit.

Bryan Callen 32:55 Really?

Joe Rogan 32:55 I think they're gonna keep ramping it up. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 32:57 I f- I feel like I want in. I mean, I know, I, I know I'm being derivative and I'm copying, but I wanna, I wanna fucking dance, bro.

Joe Rogan 33:04 Why don't you, why don't you have your own?

Narrator 33:05 I think they both already have s- scripts written for their retorts, and I don't know who's gonna go first.

Joe Rogan 33:10 (laughs) Well, it's gotta be Bert.

Narrator 33:12 Just scripts, right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:12 Bert's gotta be next-

Narrator 33:13 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:13 ... because Tom just murdered him. You can't, you can't double down. Like, this shit was ruthless.

Bryan Callen 33:18 Come here.

Joe Rogan 33:18 I mean, come on, man. This shit was ruthless.

Narrator 33:20 Hold on.

Joe Rogan 33:20 Eh ... What happened? Did you spill all over yourself-

Narrator 33:22 What happened, man?

Joe Rogan 33:22 ... like a little child?

Bryan Callen 33:23 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:24 What happened to you?

Bryan Callen 33:24 I spilled, I spilled, man. I spilled.

Joe Rogan 33:26 You spill when you hug?

Bryan Callen 33:27 I spilled my fucking turmeric on myself.

Joe Rogan 33:29 This, this video ... You've seen this video, right? Come on.

Bryan Callen 33:31 Oh, it's the best.

Joe Rogan 33:32 Bro, it's amazing.

Bryan Callen 33:33 I know it is.

Joe Rogan 33:33 But here's what's amazing.

Bryan Callen 33:34 He's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 33:35 It's actually good.

Bryan Callen 33:36 I know.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Like, this part. Like, watch this.

Bryan Callen 33:40 Please don't steal my style.

Joe Rogan 33:41 I mean, come on-

Bryan Callen 33:42 And he can dance.

Joe Rogan 33:42 ... look at him moving around. Dude, he can dance great.

Bryan Callen 33:44 I know.

Joe Rogan 33:46 And that's why he was offended by Bert's. He's like, "This dude's pretending he knows how to dance just because he takes his pants off? I'll show you."

Narrator 33:53 He got more mad when people gave him credit for it too. They're like, "Oh, look at Bert dancing."

Joe Rogan 33:57 Mm, he did get mad. Yeah, I didn't understand that.

Narrator 33:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:59 I was a little confused. I felt like he was laying back, like, if we were gonna do a hip hop dance contest. You know what I mean? Like, he's the guy at the bar that pretends he can't play pool. "I mean, uh, I played a couple of times." Oh, by the way, he's selling those Machine shirts. Ma-chine.

Bryan Callen 34:12 Amazing.

Joe Rogan 34:12 You can go buy those at your moms house.com. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 34:14 I'm gonna buy one of those. I said to, I said to ... I say to Rogan, I put him on a thread.

Joe Rogan 34:18 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 34:18 This, I think it was before they were doing the dance thing. I remember I said to, I go, I had Shob, Eddie, uh, you and me, and I said, "Let's do a fucking dance off."

Joe Rogan 34:29 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 34:29 And then Sh- and then, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And then Rogan comes back with, "Hey, if we do a dance off, you're gonna wanna win, and I don't know if I have the time to dedicate to that shit." (laughs) And I was like, "He- you got serious right away. You get competitive."

Joe Rogan 34:43 Oh, I'm a moron.

Bryan Callen 34:44 Yeah, yeah. And you would, and you would-

Joe Rogan 34:46 I'm a real-

Bryan Callen 34:46 ... you would do whatever you had to do to win.

Joe Rogan 34:48 I have kept my, uh, most ridiculous moron tendencies at bay-

Bryan Callen 34:54 Yes.

Joe Rogan 34:54 ... for most of my adult life. But when we did Sober October last year and I was making the fire alarm go off from my sweat-

Bryan Callen 35:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:01 Like, I was telling them, I'm like, "You're gonna die."

Bryan Callen 35:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:04 I'm like, "If you're gonna try to do what I'm doing (laughs) I'm willing to do, you're gonna die. You don't understand, I'll-"

Bryan Callen 35:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:09 "... I work out eight to 10 hours a day."

Bryan Callen 35:10 Yeah, you'll kill yourself.

Joe Rogan 35:11 I go, "Well, we're gonna die."

Bryan Callen 35:13 It was like, I remember when you were a young man you, you said to me, you were like, "I, uh, I think I might fight Wesley Snipes." And I was like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 35:19 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 35:19 And, and you were, I was ... 'Cause you looked ... You were, like, pulsing. You looked like a fucking atom- like one of those guys who gets caught in nuclear waste. Your veins and everything, they were just like ... And you were breathing like Chuck Liddell. And I go-

Joe Rogan 35:30 Well-

Bryan Callen 35:30 ... "Hey, what's up, man?"

Joe Rogan 35:31 That's not really the case.

Bryan Callen 35:32 You go, "I'm just training. I'm training all the time." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:34 I was training all the time.

Bryan Callen 35:35 Okay.

Joe Rogan 35:35 I was training twice a day.

Bryan Callen 35:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:36 It was really hard.

Bryan Callen 35:37 Yeah, it was crazy.

Joe Rogan 35:38 But I thought it was really gonna happen. Like, we had-

Bryan Callen 35:41 Wesley Snipes is an athlete.

Joe Rogan 35:42 ... lawyers involved. He owed a lot of money to the IRS, that's what it was.

Bryan Callen 35:45 Oh.

Joe Rogan 35:46 He, um, he got in a real bad situation apparently, where someone was advising him-

Bryan Callen 35:51 Yep.

Joe Rogan 35:51 ... that he didn't have to pay taxes. You know, "Man-

Bryan Callen 35:54 Strong man, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:54 ... one of those, one of those ... You ever check the Constitution, man?"

Bryan Callen 35:56 Yeah. You're a, you're a, you're your own, you're your own island-

Joe Rogan 35:58 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 35:58 ... your own country. That horseshit.

Joe Rogan 35:59 That shit doesn't work, man.

Bryan Callen 36:00 My friend did that, my friend did that. Y- this is what he did. He, he said (laughs) ... He declared himself a sovereign state and then he, uh, decided he was going to run, uh, illegal substances across state lines. He gets caught and he goes, "I'm my own sovereign state, I can do whatever I want." The cop goes, "That's awesome. You're going to jail now." They put him in, uh, in, in court he had a whole defense. He went, "I'm a sovereign state, I refuse to give you my name." They were like, the judge was like, "Very cool. Uh, you're going to jail now for eight months. We'll see you later." Kang kang. And now you got a record.

Joe Rogan 36:31 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 36:31 How'd that work out for you? Not well at all, fuck face.

Joe Rogan 36:33 Some people read the Constitution and they somehow or another decide that they're experts.

Bryan Callen 36:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:37 But what is it ... What is it going ... There's a lot of that going on these days where people, like, have this idea that f- fuck all these legal scholars.

Bryan Callen 36:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:47 Like, "I see the loophole."

Bryan Callen 36:49 Sure, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:49 "And I am gonna point this out in front of the judge and it will be undeniable."

Bryan Callen 36:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:53 (laughs) Like ...Bro, pay your taxes.

Bryan Callen 36:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:56 Who's gonna, who's gonna fix the streets?

Bryan Callen 36:58 Because they listen to, they listen to ... But usually, people just wanna be part of a, a larger thing, right?

Joe Rogan 37:05 Yes.

Bryan Callen 37:06 So, so actually, uh, most people are s- are saying what was given to them, and it feels good emotionally.

Joe Rogan 37:13 Yes.

Bryan Callen 37:13 And one of the things as you get older that's really important to do, is to always be willing not only to change your mind and admit that you probably ... You could be hopelessly wrong.

Joe Rogan 37:23 Absolutely.

Bryan Callen 37:23 You could be completely wrong. But also, to always be able to justify with reason and with measured argument your most cherished beliefs, okay? 'Cause so much of who we are is what we believe, right?

Joe Rogan 37:39 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 37:39 So, much of who we are is ... Just d- where I stand politically, where I s- All those things that I've worked hard to kind of come up with a comprehensive political and philosophical, you know, g- um, uh, mooring to stand on. Well, I, I, if, if I am, if I, if I then relax, and I, I listen and accept what's given to me without, you know, putting it through the grinder and really sittin' down and testing it, then I'm, I'm guilty of being philosophically complacent and pol- you know, and basically-

Joe Rogan 38:13 It's just you, you're a slave to your ego, right?

Bryan Callen 38:14 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:14 You don't, you don't wanna admit that you're wrong about things.

Bryan Callen 38:17 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:17 But I think ... You can't be married to ideas.

Bryan Callen 38:21 No.

Joe Rogan 38:21 Who you are is how you go through this life.

Bryan Callen 38:24 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:24 And it's how you go through this life now. This is what's very important for people, you know? And I, and I try to talk about this as much as possible. You can't get, you can't get stuck in your past, because like mistakes that you made when you were a child can haunt you deep into adulthood-

Bryan Callen 38:39 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:40 ... because you decide that you're the person who got bullied after seventh grade and you're a loser and everybody hates you. And those feelings, you, you can cling onto those fuckers, and they'll weigh you down. You can cling onto them and you can take them into your later life. And I know people that are like, man, they're in their 60s. There was this, this, uh ... Maybe you told me this, but did you tell me the story about this dude who was like an older guy that was afraid to walk down a certain road because this other older guy who used to bully him in high school lived there?

Bryan Callen 39:13 No.

Joe Rogan 39:13 You didn't tell me this. Somebody told me this, and this guy was in his 60s, and he was scared to go down this road because this guy lived there who used to bully him in high school, and the guy still fucked with him. Still fucked with him.

Bryan Callen 39:26 No way.

Joe Rogan 39:26 Bro, there's some people that get stuck like that, man.

Bryan Callen 39:28 You have to get close to hear it, yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:29 Both of those guys.

Bryan Callen 39:30 That's why I think for a lot of guys, uh, you know, walking into an MMA gym is terrifying, but it's okay. Uh, everything, uh, start with one, you know, tiny step. (laughs) And I like, I like doing anything that makes me feel uncomfortable and, and, and takes me off my pins. And-

Joe Rogan 39:47 It's huge.

Bryan Callen 39:47 And, and because I ... It opens up new pathways of understanding somehow, or it certainly forces me to ... So, so what I do now with people who I disagree with philosophically ... You know, like say I'm talking to somebody who's a hardcore socialist or something like that. It's okay, but what I, what I try to do is I just try to listen to them really ... I, I try to kind of zero in instead of like immediately throwing my hands up, you know?

Joe Rogan 40:11 Did you see what Brittany Cummings said the other day?

Bryan Callen 40:14 Brittany Cummings, or Whitney Cummings?

Joe Rogan 40:15 Whitney, Whitney Cummings.

Bryan Callen 40:16 No.

Joe Rogan 40:17 Did I say Brittany? Did I?

Bryan Callen 40:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:19 I think I was slobbering.

Bryan Callen 40:22 It's okay.

Joe Rogan 40:23 Too much of that cummer-

Bryan Callen 40:24 You got a, you got-

Joe Rogan 40:24 ... turmeric coffee.

Bryan Callen 40:24 Bro, you got-

Joe Rogan 40:25 It does. When people say, "Why are you coughing so much?" I don't wanna tell the truth. It's turmeric coffee.

Bryan Callen 40:29 You got a full mouth, bro.

Joe Rogan 40:30 It gets phlegmy.

Bryan Callen 40:30 You got a full mouth. You got a-

Joe Rogan 40:31 Gaw. Um, shit. What was I just saying?

Bryan Callen 40:34 You said Whi- Whitney Cummings.

Joe Rogan 40:35 Oh. She got reported to HR on a show she was on, 'cause as she was leaving, she said, "Merry Christmas." Some intern-

Bryan Callen 40:44 No.

Joe Rogan 40:45 Yes. Intern was offended.

Bryan Callen 40:47 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 40:47 It's called human resources, because she said, "Merry Christmas."

Bryan Callen 40:50 (laughs) It's great. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:51 And her, uh, response was, she goes, "Hey, I re- I really don't give a fuck if you have a good Christmas. It's just a nice thing to say."

Bryan Callen 40:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:56 Like, I don't give a fuck about your Christmas.

Bryan Callen 40:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:57 I don't even know you. Like, what's-

Bryan Callen 40:59 (laughs) Something that's really-

Joe Rogan 41:00 They reported her!

Bryan Callen 41:00 That, that, uh, something that's very fucking important for people to realize about the West, something that's really unique about the West and Western civilization, is that imperialism, racism, sexism, uh, all these isms that we are guilty of. We're, the West didn't invent these things, but, uh, we did w- you know, we were egregious violators in some cases of that, you know? Slavery was a, a real thing in this country. But what's, what's unique about the West, and, and I'm getting on this thing, is that we were the first to label it and condemn it. And the West has always been a country that seems always to be in the process of repenting for its past-

Joe Rogan 41:41 Mm.

Bryan Callen 41:41 ... repenting for its sins. That is not common. That is unique to ... And, and self-criticism is part of it, is as a society, we are ... So, people like that silly girl who, who ... That's been going on, actually, in one way or another for a long time. Now, it's-

Joe Rogan 41:58 The intern?

Bryan Callen 41:59 Yes, now it's way more.

Joe Rogan 42:00 Yeah, I don't know if it was a girl or a boy. I'm not sure.

Bryan Callen 42:01 It's ... It ... Right. Now, now, now, it's a little bit more. It's, it's way more, but, but that's actually to the character of this country. We have always had people who kind of went, uh, "Nah, uh, you know, um, that's wrong. I don't wanna do that. The, the, this is, this isn't fair," all that kinda stuff.

Joe Rogan 42:19 Mm.

Bryan Callen 42:20 And it was a fucking ... It would always cause all kinds of problems, but that's extreme. That's a silly goose, whoever's doing that is dumb.

Joe Rogan 42:26 Well, it's Hollywood.

Bryan Callen 42:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:27 There's a Hollywood thing where these people can't be liberal enough. They're trying so hard to be progressive that they're just becoming ridiculous.

Bryan Callen 42:34 Yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 42:34 They're, but they get so reactionary, and everyone's scared that they're gonna be, uh, out of the woke loop. Like, maybe they're behind.

Bryan Callen 42:41 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:41 They're letting something slide that they should've stepped up for, 'cause now you can get in trouble if you don't come out against someone saying, "Merry Christmas."

Bryan Callen 42:48 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:48 Like, "Hey man, you know, where were you when that fucking pig said, 'Merry Christmas'?"

Bryan Callen 42:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:52 Do you know what Christmas means?

Bryan Callen 42:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:54 ... they're like, dude, they want to take away the words supremacy and quantum supremacy, which is quantum computing. It's next level, next step computing.

Bryan Callen 43:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:04 And there was an article about Google achieving quantum supremacy. (slaps table) And they were like, "Well, we don't like the term supremacy 'cause it reminds people of white supremacy."

Bryan Callen 43:12 But do you, do you know what I think about those people?

Joe Rogan 43:14 Nah.

Bryan Callen 43:14 Do you know what I think about a lot of those people?

Joe Rogan 43:15 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 43:15 They're, they're ready... They're, they're ni-, they're young.

Joe Rogan 43:19 Yes.

Bryan Callen 43:19 They're not experienced, and they're not that bright, I'm sorry.

Joe Rogan 43:22 Well, this is the thing is they are bright, they just aren't wise. They're very smart and they know they are, which is one of the reasons why they wanna make an argument to push something like that through and think that it makes sense. It's because they're so smart. But what they're not is, is you get seasoned by your interactions with human beings. You're naive when you're younger-

Bryan Callen 43:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:43 ... and then as you get older, you get seasoned.

Bryan Callen 43:45 Your mind changes.

Joe Rogan 43:46 But you also get seasoned-

Bryan Callen 43:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:47 ... meaning you experience so many different human beings that exhibit these sort of stereotypes and these, like, patterns of behavior, and you gotta know when people are being knuckleheads-

Bryan Callen 43:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:59 ... and you gotta know when people are being wise and objective, and you gotta know when people are being kind and loving, and you gotta know when people are being assholes.

Bryan Callen 44:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:06 Like, you can see all the different things. As you get older, you get more data.

Bryan Callen 44:10 Yes.

Joe Rogan 44:10 You know? And a lot of these kids are like 20.

Bryan Callen 44:12 No, I know.

Joe Rogan 44:13 They're 22-

Bryan Callen 44:13 And they-

Joe Rogan 44:13 ... and they're yelling about the world, like, that Greta Thunberg chick that they keep t-

Bryan Callen 44:17 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:17 ... breaking every... She's 16.

Bryan Callen 44:19 She's 16, she's a kid.

Joe Rogan 44:20 Listen-

Bryan Callen 44:20 She's a, she's a kid.

Joe Rogan 44:20 ... you, you've got some good points-

Bryan Callen 44:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:22 ... but this... They're using you now.

Bryan Callen 44:24 Well, well, what happens is as you get older and you try to solve problems at the level of detail... So if you and I had to really solve some problems, let's say, uh, uh, healthcare, uh, you and I, I'm sitting here-

Joe Rogan 44:33 I'm not solving shit.

Bryan Callen 44:34 Yeah. If we had to try, right, what would happen is we might come with more of a Republican or a Democratic or a liberal or a conservative sensibility initially. I think once you get down to the level of detail and you're trying to solve these problems, all that ide- ideology kinda goes out the window 'cause now you're dealing with hard numbers and math, and you're trying to deal in percentages, and you're trying to deal with what's the best policy for the most number of people. And so it becomes way, way grayer and way less team-y if you are somebody that has to solve problems-

Joe Rogan 45:05 Mm.

Bryan Callen 45:06 ... if you are somebody who has to turn a profit, if you're somebody who has to figure out what your p- what your clientele actually will buy. Uh, and I think sometimes that's why people who own businesses and, and people who have to make the trains run on time have a different philosophical and political point of view than do people who essentially spend a lot of time reading, thinking, and writing in an academic institution.

Joe Rogan 45:35 Right.

Bryan Callen 45:35 Because you don't need to get down to the level of detail. You can stay in that wonderful world of theory. And that's an important world. It's not to say that you shouldn't have that, but a lot of journalists come from that world. They come straight from that world of theory, that world of that intellectual pursuit, and, and they come right into... Then they see the world, and I think that might be why a lot of times people in the media tend to be a little bit more ideological, maybe a little bit more liberal, depending, 'cause you could say Fox News is just as fucking ideological on the other side. But I, I do think your, your perspective changes when you have to get down to business.

Joe Rogan 46:17 When you're out there in the real world.

Bryan Callen 46:18 Yes.

Joe Rogan 46:19 Yeah. No, dude, no doubt.

Bryan Callen 46:19 It's like fighting. It's like fighting.

Joe Rogan 46:20 You need both, though.

Bryan Callen 46:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:22 Right? And this is what, what I think we n- need to make this distinction, like, you need these quantum theorists, you need these historians, you need these people that are just completely-

Bryan Callen 46:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:30 ... engaged in whatever the subject is again-

Bryan Callen 46:32 In the world of ideas. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:33 ... and, you know, and they're just l- lifelong academics, and this is what they're gonna need.

Bryan Callen 46:37 You need both.

Joe Rogan 46:38 You need both.

Bryan Callen 46:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:38 But what w- the real problem is when people come out of these universities and they have these sort of hard-line ideas of how the world needs to change.

Bryan Callen 46:48 They're revolutionaries.

Joe Rogan 46:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they, they, there's, it's very exciting.

Bryan Callen 46:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:52 It's very exciting. And then-

Bryan Callen 46:52 And they wanna burn down the whole building.

Joe Rogan 46:54 And then you start-

Bryan Callen 46:55 That's what's dangerous.

Joe Rogan 46:55 ... looking for witches, okay?

Bryan Callen 46:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:56 And then you start going, "That bitch said merry Christmas."

Bryan Callen 46:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:59 And that's what that is.

Bryan Callen 46:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:00 That's what's nuts. G- Google's calling it quantum supremacy. Can you fucking believe this shit?

Bryan Callen 47:04 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:04 They're like, "Yeah, we gotta burn it down."

Bryan Callen 47:05 There you go.

Joe Rogan 47:05 "Burn it down."

Bryan Callen 47:06 There you go.

Joe Rogan 47:07 Yeah. It's, a lot of it is being young, but-

Bryan Callen 47:08 Young people can do some, when they get together, the, the communist revolution was, you know...

Joe Rogan 47:13 This is also where, why discourse is so important, right? Like, young people need to talk to other people. You know, like, a, like, a lot of these people with these ideas are one day gonna laugh at those ideas. They're one day gonna look back and go, "Oh my God, when I was 20, I was so stupid," just like you have done, just like I have done, just like basically everybody does as they get older.

Bryan Callen 47:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:30 You start thinking, "Oh my God, when I was 18, what a fucking moron I was. Oh my God, when I was 24, you wanna hear the stupid shit I thought-

Bryan Callen 47:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:36 ... uh, I should do?" I mean, that's part of life.

Bryan Callen 47:38 You also have to realize that, that historically... That thing I sent you by... There's a, there's a... People ask me what I read and stuff. W- if you go to audible.com and go to The Great Courses, I listened to these courses. I just listened to 48 lectures by a guy named Robert Buckholz, who's this fucking amazing professor on the foundations of Western civilization. One of the things he says in it is he said, um, Europeans... I mean, the f- the history of Europe, y- I mean, culminating with World War I and World War II, as bloody and as violent, it's beyond what we can imagine. How many, how many millions were killed in World War II? I mean, it's, it's-

Joe Rogan 48:09 I don't know.

Bryan Callen 48:09 ... it's, it's beyond what we can imagine. But Europeans figured out... And it's a huge accomplishment, and it, and, and really the first time in history for anybody. They figured out how to solve their differences without killing each other, and that happened after World War II, and it took that long. They actually figured out a way to solve their differences by disagreeing, by fighting about it, by fighting dirty, but by electing their, by, by winning elections and stuff.

Joe Rogan 48:35 Hey, here's, here's a question.

Bryan Callen 48:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:36 The war in Europe-

Bryan Callen 48:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:38 ... all the countries involved-

Bryan Callen 48:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:39 ... what was the, what was the size of the landscape we're looking at in c- in, like, relationship to the United States? When you look at France and Germany and England, like, what is that n- like-

Bryan Callen 48:50 Well, it wasn't just France, Germany-

Joe Rogan 48:51 Poland... Oh, yeah-

Bryan Callen 48:52 ... and England either.

Joe Rogan 48:52 But I'm talking about all of this.

Bryan Callen 48:53 It was Russia. It was Russia. It's a-

Joe Rogan 48:54 Yeah. Sure.

Bryan Callen 48:54 Russia, I think, is five time zones, right?

Joe Rogan 48:56 Russia's giant.

Bryan Callen 48:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:57 Ru- Russia's a different animal, right?

Bryan Callen 48:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:58 Because Russia's, um, you know, that's Asia.

Bryan Callen 49:00 Yeah. And Russia, Russia would just rely on old General Winter, as Buckholz would say.

Joe Rogan 49:04 But the European aspect of it, the European part of, uh, World War I and II, I wanna know how much... What I was thinking is, like, it's almost like having a war inside America, right?

Bryan Callen 49:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:14 I mean, it's really close.

Bryan Callen 49:15 I think, I think if you look at, uh...... if you, if you take, uh, France, Spain, uh, Italy, you know, Germany, Poland, all those areas-

Joe Rogan 49:25 They fit in Rhode Island.

Bryan Callen 49:26 ... Uh, Hungary, Austria-

Joe Rogan 49:28 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 49:28 ... yeah all those, uh, you know, Bulgaria, Romania, Yugoslavia, back down-

Joe Rogan 49:31 Put those in Florida, we'll stuff those in Florida.

Bryan Callen 49:33 How about, how big is that area? The size of the-

Narrator 49:37 I think I'm on the, give me one minute to-

Joe Rogan 49:38 He's got too much Goog- (laughs) That's a lot of Googling. (laughs)

Narrator 49:40 Yeah. I found, I found a thing that, like, World War I map, 40 maps that explain World War I, so.

Joe Rogan 49:45 Whoa.

Bryan Callen 49:45 World War I's a different thing too.

Joe Rogan 49:47 Oh, yeah.

Bryan Callen 49:47 World War I was-

Narrator 49:48 That's what you're talking about, right, the-

Joe Rogan 49:49 Well, World War I and II.

Bryan Callen 49:49 World War II.

Joe Rogan 49:50 I wanted what World... Well, two is the whole world.

Bryan Callen 49:52 Yeah. Two is everything, right? But so was World War I.

Narrator 49:54 Two is Japan, too.

Bryan Callen 49:54 Remember, World War I, the Ottoman Empire was crumbling, right? So Turkey's empire was crumbling, so Turkey got the Middle East involved, the British were, were, were, you know, were involved in the Middle East, they were fighting the Turks. That, that, that whole area became a theater for war.

Joe Rogan 50:10 Dude, I'm on, I'm on my third Wild West book in the last couple weeks.

Bryan Callen 50:15 Really?

Joe Rogan 50:15 Yeah, yeah. Uh, about the history of the Wild West. I'm gonna tell you this one.

Bryan Callen 50:18 Wow.

Joe Rogan 50:18 It's, uh, Blood and Thunder? Yeah. Um, Blood and Thunder: An Epic Tale of the American West. It's about Kit Carson and, and the mountain men.

Bryan Callen 50:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:29 Bro.

Bryan Callen 50:30 Rough dudes.

Joe Rogan 50:31 Bro.

Bryan Callen 50:32 Men.

Joe Rogan 50:32 Just the, the, the wars with all the various tribes and the chaos and the, the way they would kill people. Oh my God, it's so crazy.

Bryan Callen 50:42 The, the Native Americans are-

Joe Rogan 50:43 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 50:44 Yeah, brutal.

Joe Rogan 50:44 Dude, this, one of these stories that I was reading, uh, I don't think it was this one, uh, it was, uh, it wasn't the Kit Carson one, it was, um, the, uh, the one on, uh, General Custer. General Custer was the last one, which was, um, Son of the Morning Star. That was the last one that I was reading. Bro.

Bryan Callen 51:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:02 There's one, the one guy, one, m- a Native American guy wants to fuck this other guy's wife, so he, uh, he tries to get him, he can't get him, eventually he finds him one day, kills him, eats his heart. Cooks his heart.

Bryan Callen 51:15 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 51:15 Comes back and tells everybody, then marries the lady.

Bryan Callen 51:18 Well, you gotta eat a man's heart 'cause you impose his will on it.

Joe Rogan 51:20 Imagine you're married-

Bryan Callen 51:21 What, did he choke a guy out?

Joe Rogan 51:21 Married, you're a woman.

Bryan Callen 51:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:22 You're married to a guy and this other dude wants to fuck you. He kills your husband-

Bryan Callen 51:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:26 ... and eats his heart.

Bryan Callen 51:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:28 And then you say, "Get in this teepee, big boy."

Bryan Callen 51:31 That's, that's pretty fucking gangster.

Joe Rogan 51:33 That's pretty fucking gangster.

Bryan Callen 51:33 Because the guy loved you, and I'm gonna eat his heart, I'm gonna eat his love for you. So now-

Joe Rogan 51:37 He cut, he cut two fingers off of his hand because he couldn't get to her and he loved her so much.

Bryan Callen 51:42 Damn.

Joe Rogan 51:43 He was angry that he, he couldn't kill him yet.

Bryan Callen 51:45 Did he win her over?

Joe Rogan 51:46 Well, he must have won her over, he cut two fingers off his hand before he got to her-

Bryan Callen 51:50 Damn.

Joe Rogan 51:50 ... and then found the guy after he cut two fingers off his ha- hand.

Bryan Callen 51:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:54 Killed the guy.

Bryan Callen 51:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:55 Ate his fucking heart.

Bryan Callen 51:56 Sure.

Joe Rogan 51:56 Cooked it. Came back, told everybody. Like, ate most of the heart.

Bryan Callen 51:59 Yeah. Yeah, that's a stalker. That's a, that's a, that's a-

Joe Rogan 52:01 Oh, yeah.

Bryan Callen 52:02 ... stage five stalker, is that-

Joe Rogan 52:03 No, just past-

Bryan Callen 52:03 ... or does that go beyond?

Joe Rogan 52:04 That's, yeah, past. Remember-

Bryan Callen 52:06 Ate his heart.

Joe Rogan 52:07 Ate his heart. You remember, like, when we used to have those, uh, terrorism colors? Like, today's yellow.

Bryan Callen 52:13 Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:13 No worries.

Bryan Callen 52:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:14 Remember as a flag?

Bryan Callen 52:15 Yeah, that's it, that's a flag.

Narrator 52:16 That's, uh, 19-

Joe Rogan 52:16 This is it?

Narrator 52:17 It's 1917-

Joe Rogan 52:17 The battle fronts of Europe?

Narrator 52:18 Yeah, this was from 1917 and-

Joe Rogan 52:20 Yeah.

Narrator 52:20 ... a paper in London made this. This is explaining-

Joe Rogan 52:22 Mm.

Narrator 52:23 ... uh-

Joe Rogan 52:23 Interesting.

Narrator 52:24 ... the battle area, battle zones.

Bryan Callen 52:26 Yeah.

Narrator 52:26 Uh-

Joe Rogan 52:26 Oh, so all of it fit in the center of the country?

Narrator 52:28 Right, and they compared it even-

Joe Rogan 52:29 Yeah.

Narrator 52:30 ... miles.

Joe Rogan 52:30 Goddamn, dude. Just imagine if that shit was going on in the center of the country, if Montana was at war with Wyoming and Colorado. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 52:37 It was all, it was all tre- trench warfare too.

Joe Rogan 52:39 Oh, my God.

Bryan Callen 52:40 See, see World War I- it's really interesting because there are some s- parallels now. World War I, if you look at World War I, it was a time when, first of all, the world hadn't been, Europe hadn't been to war for 100 years.

Joe Rogan 52:53 Mm.

Bryan Callen 52:53 So when people went into war in World War I, they were, I mean, they went in, every young man volunteered and even women volunteered to be nurses and to cook and all.

Joe Rogan 53:04 Mm.

Bryan Callen 53:04 So it was this inc- they were singing songs and they were gonna be gone for two weeks and it was gonna be really exciting-

Joe Rogan 53:10 Mm.

Bryan Callen 53:10 ... and it was romantic. And, and no one, including the soldiers, really understood the technology, like machine guns, and, and that kind of technology, and mustard gas, and they didn't know. They were still fighting the way they had been fighting for millennia, which was on horseback, feathers in their helmets, and charging with great bravery. And so what would happen was they would charge and the other side would open up with machine guns and sh- and artillery and then ultimately poison gas. And so th- the numbers are too staggering to even imagine, but, like, for, uh, 800 yards to, you know, to try to capture that much land or whatever, h- they would lose, they lost something like 300,000 men in a day. I mean, that's what was going on. They were just getting mowed down.

Joe Rogan 54:03 That, that many?

Bryan Callen 54:03 Oh, dude, the numbers are crazy. The Battle of the Somme, I can't remember what it was. It, it was beyond, like, the number of men that were lost per foot, I remember I had to ask three times 'cause I couldn't believe it. And because they were just, the, the, j- so your, your arrogant commanders would blow a whistle, sometimes they would kick a soccer ball and you would follow the soccer ball over the ditch and run-

Joe Rogan 54:26 As they were shooting at you?

Bryan Callen 54:27 Uh-huh. And you'd... And if you didn't, you'd be tried for cowardice, sometimes you'd be shot by your commanding officer in the back of your head, 'cause remember, a lot of these armies were conscripted, they were brought in against their will from, you know, it was, this was a time of imperialism when the country that was bigger and stronger, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austria itself, would come in and say, "You belong to us now." There were these secret alliances that would happen.

Joe Rogan 54:50 (exhales)

Bryan Callen 54:51 And, and so that battle was so insane and they, it was just, it was a true meat grinder. It was a true meat grinder.

Joe Rogan 54:57 It's-

Bryan Callen 54:58 And then you'd have no man's land, right? So you'd have no man's land, and that was the area where they would, they would come in, they, you know, they had to cross to kill, and men, you'd hear them dying-

Joe Rogan 55:08 Oh.

Bryan Callen 55:09 ... and groaning, but nobody could get to them. It was the fucking... It was the worst, man. It was the worst. And in those trenches, the, the body parts and everything, and then, and then people would have to go to the bathroom there, and then the rain would come. You were living in a gutter. It was beyond what people can imagine. It was beyond, it was the most horrific thing. And the only thing that was worse was something called World War II, which is essentially a continuation of that first European civil war. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 55:35 Ugh.

Bryan Callen 55:35 ... a, a, and I don't know, man. It's, it's beyond what we can ... We're so fucking lucky-

Joe Rogan 55:38 Less than 100 years ago.

Bryan Callen 55:39 ... we all lived in a time like that. Yes, sir.

Joe Rogan 55:41 Less than 100 years ago.

Bryan Callen 55:42 Yes, sir. 70 years ago.

Joe Rogan 55:43 So, w- within, inside of one person's lifetime-

Bryan Callen 55:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:45 ... there was-

Bryan Callen 55:45 1945 This is when.

Joe Rogan 55:47 ... Ari, Ari's dad is a Holocaust survivor.

Bryan Callen 55:49 Yep. There you go.

Joe Rogan 55:51 Yeah. Ari Shaffir's dad-

Bryan Callen 55:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:52 ... is a fucking Holocaust survivor.

Bryan Callen 55:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:54 You know? I mean, that's how close it is.

Bryan Callen 55:57 And that all came from-

Joe Rogan 55:58 Look at that.

Bryan Callen 55:58 ... this idea back then that you could perfect society and perfect human beings, you know?

Joe Rogan 56:03 A six-inch howitzer.

Bryan Callen 56:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:05 That's a mountain howitzer.

Bryan Callen 56:05 Human, human beings, you know, were, were ... This is where the idea of, uh, where ideas can be so dangerous. This idea that human beings are a blank slate, and they'll ... That you can make them anything you want. You can reeducate them in a camp, and they'll be what you want. This is the history of, of Europe. And, and those ideas lost ground. That's why the individual, it's so fucking important for the individual to take precedence over the state.

Joe Rogan 56:30 This is also why it's so important for people to be able to express themselves.

Bryan Callen 56:33 That's what I mean.

Joe Rogan 56:34 And for people to, you know-

Bryan Callen 56:36 But fidelity to the state in a fascist society in, in, in-

Joe Rogan 56:39 Yes.

Bryan Callen 56:39 ... communist Russia. Fidelity to the state, the collective, must be superior to the individual. The individual, you're a tiny leaf on a tree. If you have a society like that, (laughs) somebody's gonna run that. Somebody's-

Joe Rogan 56:53 Right.

Bryan Callen 56:54 ... gonna set that doctrine. And they, and they will justify killing 20, 30 million p- people-

Joe Rogan 56:58 Right.

Bryan Callen 56:58 ... the way Stalin did.

Joe Rogan 56:58 And they'll say it, they're doing it for the country.

Bryan Callen 57:00 Sure.

Joe Rogan 57:01 Yeah. That's-

Bryan Callen 57:01 You know-

Joe Rogan 57:02 There's so many patterns like that, that just repeat themselves over and over again-

Bryan Callen 57:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:05 ... with human beings in power.

Bryan Callen 57:06 You got a lot ... You know, Hitler, um, by many accounts, seemed to genuinely enjoy World War I. He enjoyed it, and then he got blinded by mustard gas and he couldn't believe Germany surrendered. He couldn't believe it. And a German physician, there's one record of the German physician saying, characterizing Hitler as follows. Again, this is from Bucholtz, uh, lectures. It said, um, (laughs) he goes, "This person is not fit to command humans and is a, and is dangerously psychotic." And because of a lot of crazy reasons, he was able to start the, or join the N- Nazi. The, he's worked in ... The, he actually started as, um, a minder for the German army.

Joe Rogan 57:55 What's a minder?

Bryan Callen 57:55 Oh, so a guy who spied on, uh, subversive groups.

Joe Rogan 58:00 Oh.

Bryan Callen 58:01 Okay?

Joe Rogan 58:01 Like a rat.

Bryan Callen 58:02 Yeah, rat- uh, uh, revolutionary groups. That's how he came ac- across the Nationalist Socialist Party.

Joe Rogan 58:07 He was a nard.

Bryan Callen 58:07 Or National Socialist Party. Yeah, the Nazional-, the Nazis. And, uh, but kinda went, "You know what? Yeah."

Joe Rogan 58:13 "I like what these guys are saying." (laughs) So he joined-

Bryan Callen 58:16 Yes.

Joe Rogan 58:17 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 58:17 I want fucking war.

Joe Rogan 58:18 So that's like if you had an undercover FBI agent who became one of the Hells Angels.

Bryan Callen 58:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:22 He took over the organization.

Bryan Callen 58:23 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:24 Because that's ... He took over.

Bryan Callen 58:25 Right. But World War II-

Joe Rogan 58:26 He is.

Bryan Callen 58:26 Like, like, the, but, th- the crazy thing about right before World War II, t- uh, th- everything, like today, so you ever notice how today we can't agree on really even source material. If you have an argument with somebody and you go, "Where'd you get your information?"

Joe Rogan 58:39 Right.

Bryan Callen 58:39 "CNN? What?" Or, w-

Joe Rogan 58:41 Right. Right.

Bryan Callen 58:41 ... "FOX News? You fucking," you know.

Joe Rogan 58:42 Right.

Bryan Callen 58:42 And, uh, the conversation, it can't even start.

Joe Rogan 58:44 Right.

Bryan Callen 58:45 Because we don't have ... Now we're talking about a simulation, maybe this whole thing, maybe you and I are just self-replicating machines. W- you know what ... So nobody really knows at this point. It's really hard to arrive at a fixed point of truth.

Joe Rogan 58:57 Right.

Bryan Callen 58:58 Back in the day, the Bible is your fixed point of truth, maybe Aristotle. But at the turn of the century, like right before World War I, man, like you had Darwin comes along. You had, well he'd come along before that, but you had Freud who said something to the effect of, "Hey, we're animals and we're basically ... We will kill and use each other as sexual tools if we don't have a strong society." And there were all these like, there were all these sort of new ... Nietzsche, Marx who said, "God is dead." Or, uh, Nietzsche said, "God is dead," but Marx basically said, uh, "Religion is the opium of the masses. Human beings are the masters of their own fate." And all of these guys who basically took God out of the equation and all of them were basically saying that we are animals and God isn't ... It ... God is no longer here. We're animals, and if you don't create a society to control our animalistic impulses, we're gonna fuck and slaughter and rape each other. And World War I proved b- all of those guys right (laughs) , basically. But it was a time when there was ... The everything was up in the air. Einstein comes along and says, "Time and space, mm, not so fast. It's actually relative." And everybody went, "What? Huh?" He goes, "Yeah, time doesn't exist, like a stopwatch. God didn't start a stopwatch," and that's what Newton said, but actually it

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 Good luck trying to work your way through that.

Bryan Callen 1:00:20 You can't. It-

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 The one where, when you go-

Bryan Callen 1:00:21 It confused everybody.

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 If you go fast enough into space and then come back, everybody here will be old and you'll be the same age.

Bryan Callen 1:00:28 D- do you know how that works?

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:00:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 I do. But it's still, like what?

Bryan Callen 1:00:32 It's really weird. Do you know? I, I, I think this is true. This is what I read. He was walking ... He was like in, uh, where was he? CERN, Switzerland or whatever the fuck it is. He gets off the ... He's trying to come up with these, he's thinking about the theory of relativity or whatever. And he gets off the, the train and he's walking away from the train station. He turns and looks at the clock and the clock says, let's say 6:00. He turns and looks at the clocks and he turns back around and then he stops and he goes, "Wait, hold on. I was walking away from the clock. So when I saw the clock, it said 6:00, but that's how long it took the light to get to my eye. By the time the light hit my eye, it was actually later 'cause the light has to hit my eye for me ... " Do you understand?

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 Right. Infraction of a second later.

Bryan Callen 1:01:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:20 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:01:20 So he said, "What if I was moving at the speed of light? Time would stand still."

Joe Rogan 1:01:24 Dun, dun, dun. Oh.

Bryan Callen 1:01:25 "Because the light would never hit my eye." It's a weird thing to say, but I was like, that's a fucking ...

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 Yeah. But I wonder if that works with biological aging.

Bryan Callen 1:01:32 They ... I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 I wonder if biological aging is on a constant, right?

Bryan Callen 1:01:35 Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Entropy, right?

Joe Rogan 1:01:38 Well, I know that, like, time would be different, right?... but I wonder, like, when you say, "Time stands still," but it's gotta exist if you're alive. It's gotta exist somehow, biologically. Your body's not gonna stop heart beating and breathing, right?

Bryan Callen 1:01:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:53 So, like, how many heartbeats do you have in you? I mean, that's part of what life is. Life is, like, you've got a limited number of heartbeats, if you wanted to really-

Bryan Callen 1:01:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 ... break it down.

Bryan Callen 1:02:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 Like, how many of them are you gonna use while you're going through light speed? Those don't count?

Bryan Callen 1:02:04 I know.

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 You're gonna b-... Your heart's gonna beat, right?

Bryan Callen 1:02:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 So, how long is it actually gonna take in real time down on Earth while you're up there?

Bryan Callen 1:02:11 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 'Cause I think it's gonna be, like, where you're moving so fast that it feels like 10 minutes, 'cause it is 10 minutes to you, and then you come back. You've only aged 10 minutes, but it might be 10 years down here.

Bryan Callen 1:02:21 Well, didn't you have, um, somebody on your (clears throat) podcast? I think it was... They were talking about how you don't... It, it, what, what ages you, the reason we look older than we did 25 years ago is because of entropy. So, things mix-

Joe Rogan 1:02:35 (singing)

Bryan Callen 1:02:35 ... things mix, and you can't un-mix them.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 What's the matter, Joe?

Narrator 1:02:38 I just listened to this book about time-

Bryan Callen 1:02:41 (clears throat) Ooh.

Narrator 1:02:41 ... and th- these concepts just came up, sort of, that you're talking about. Uh, after the whole book, I was more confused about time-

Bryan Callen 1:02:46 (laughs)

Narrator 1:02:46 ... to be honest with you.

Bryan Callen 1:02:47 Fuck, dude, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 It's, it's called The Order of Time-

Bryan Callen 1:02:49 I don't have time.

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 By Carlo Rovelli.

Narrator 1:02:50 By Rov-... Car-...

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 Cal-... By, by the way, that's a great name. Carlo Rovelli.

Bryan Callen 1:02:54 Rovelli.

Joe Rogan 1:02:54 It's like if you, uh, if you were a chick and your, uh, friend was gonna introduce you to a guy and his name was Carlo Rovelli.

Bryan Callen 1:03:01 My name is Carlo Rovelli.

Joe Rogan 1:03:01 Like, what does he do? He's a New York Times bestselling author-

Bryan Callen 1:03:04 (sighs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:04 Bestseller. Like, you'd be like, "Ooh."

Bryan Callen 1:03:06 And he plays jazz at night.

Joe Rogan 1:03:08 Oh, for sure.

Bryan Callen 1:03:08 Carlo Rovelli.

Joe Rogan 1:03:08 He goes to see jazz. Yeah, he'll smoke one clove cigarette a month.

Bryan Callen 1:03:11 (sighs)

Narrator 1:03:12 I-... According to this book-

Bryan Callen 1:03:13 Sometimes I cook.

Narrator 1:03:13 ... time works different, like, up higher than it does lower. For instance, if you had two synchronized clocks, even on the top of this table and the ground, they would not be synced up-

Bryan Callen 1:03:23 Why? Why?

Narrator 1:03:23 ... over a certain amount of time, just.

Bryan Callen 1:03:25 Why? Why? Because- because this is what Carlo Rovelli, he says?

Narrator 1:03:28 Like, time moves slower at sea level, so if you live at sea level, you will live longer-

Bryan Callen 1:03:32 Ah.

Narrator 1:03:32 ... than people that live higher.

Bryan Callen 1:03:34 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:03:34 I-

Narrator 1:03:34 According to time, not...

Bryan Callen 1:03:34 That's because the oxygen, the oxygen is much higher. I wanna be fucking Italian so badly, dude. Or Spanish.

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 Well, you're... You have a lot of Italian in you.

Bryan Callen 1:03:41 I know.

Joe Rogan 1:03:41 How mu-... What percentage do you have in you?

Bryan Callen 1:03:43 It's, uh, I'm 51%.

Joe Rogan 1:03:45 51.

Bryan Callen 1:03:45 But I want to speak