Joe Rogan Experience #1404 - Bryan Callen

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (singing) Brian Callanan had…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (singing) Brian Callanan had his first taste of turmeric coffee.

   2. BCBryan Callen0:06

      That's right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Do you know there's an R in turmeric?

   4. BCBryan Callen0:08

      Yes.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      A lot of people don't.

   6. BCBryan Callen0:09

      I've been eating turmeric since, well, the '70s, back when I was living in India.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      I would've bet my life there was no R.

   8. BCBryan Callen0:15

      (laughs) Really?

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Until about four months ago.

   10. BCBryan Callen0:16

       Turmeric?

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       Yeah, I didn't think there was an R.

   12. BCBryan Callen0:17

       Turmeric.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:18

       I thought it was turmeric.

   14. BCBryan Callen0:19

       Yeah. I thought it was-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       I thought it was T-U-M-E-R-I-C or whatever.

   16. BCBryan Callen0:22

       No, the Indians have been using it forever.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       Oh, yeah, they have.

   18. BCBryan Callen0:25

       That's why I walk around-

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       But I'm just saying I didn't know how to spell it.

   20. BCBryan Callen0:27

       That's why as a kid I had no inflammation in my body.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       You just ate turmeric all the time.

   22. BCBryan Callen0:31

       That's right.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       Did your pee smell weird?

   24. BCBryan Callen0:32

       I was the turmeric kid.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       What else makes your pee smell weird besides asparagus?

   26. BCBryan Callen0:36

       Um, I think sometimes coffee. My, my... Look-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       Hmm.

   28. BCBryan Callen0:39

       ... I'm 52. My body is betraying me.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Hmm.

   30. BCBryan Callen0:42

       Which is why I'm having my Laird Hamilton Super Coffee right now.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Buster Keaton, who was, like, the very first-

   2. BCBryan Callen15:02

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      ... ever stuntman, who did crazy shit, man. If you ever watched, like, some old Buster Keaton films-

   4. BCBryan Callen15:08

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      ... the stunts that that guy did, back when they couldn't fake anything-

   6. BCBryan Callen15:11

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      ... like, nuts.

   8. BCBryan Callen15:12

      S-

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      But was always getting beat up. His body was fucked up, man. Yeah, let's hear Chevy Chase falling down. Bro, I got news for you.

   10. BCBryan Callen15:20

       Whoa.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       This is all legit. And he fell a lot, man. Constantly. He was, like, almost like a Tom Green type character, but also-

   12. BCBryan Callen15:27

       I didn't know this.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, a brilliant actor and comedian.

   14. BCBryan Callen15:30

       Yep.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       So he fell all the fucking time.

   16. BCBryan Callen15:33

       All right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:33

       So I am guessing, as a person who's fallen a bunch of times-

   18. BCBryan Callen15:36

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       ... that guy's probably in pain a lot.

   20. BCBryan Callen15:39

       Mm-hmm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       Like, all the time.

   22. BCBryan Callen15:40

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       Like, people always say Chevy Chase is so grumpy.

   24. BCBryan Callen15:42

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       Maybe he's just fucking in pain all the time.

   26. BCBryan Callen15:44

       Yeah, maybe he just doesn't feel good.

   27. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       Dude, no. Dude, you can't feel ... There's no way. Dude, that's just a few.

   28. BCBryan Callen15:49

       I know.

   29. JRJoe Rogan15:49

       He fell on Saturday Night Live all the time. He f- didn't he fall on Fletch? Remember that cop movie?

   30. NANarrator15:55

       ... try to think. National Lampoon, I think he fell through the ceiling.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   It's, it's not impossible…

   1. BCBryan Callen30:00

      know, bro." I just kept going, "I don't know." He lost his mind, but, uh-

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      It's, it's not impossible for someone who's really dedicated to jujitsu to get to a point where they could tap an MMA fighter.

   3. BCBryan Callen30:11

      Sure.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:11

      Because most elite MMA fighters have many, many skills and many, many different like things that they're working on constantly. If you're just concentrating on jujitsu-

   5. BCBryan Callen30:21

      It's a different sport.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:21

      ... particularly with the leg box guys. Yeah, they're gonna be better at it. Just like if you just go to box, you know, if someone invites you.

   7. BCBryan Callen30:30

      Mm-hmm.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:30

      You know, like, uh, Terence Crawford invites someone to go to his camp and box. Like, i- in fact, TJ Dillashaw said that about Lomachenko.

   9. BCBryan Callen30:38

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:38

       That he boxed with Lomachenko-

   11. BCBryan Callen30:40

       I know.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       ... and felt like he was just being kind to him.

   13. BCBryan Callen30:42

       Of course.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Like he said, he felt like he was (stutters) like once the guy opened up, he's like, "Oh, shit."

   15. BCBryan Callen30:47

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       (laughs) It's just-

   17. BCBryan Callen30:48

       Yeah.That's a sport now. (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       But Lomachenko was nice to him-

   19. BCBryan Callen30:51

       Of course he was.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       ... it didn't, didn't fuck him up.

   21. BCBryan Callen30:52

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       Speaking of warming up, there's a great video of him warming up. And I, I, I watched it, I was like, "Oh, that's how a pro does it."

   23. BCBryan Callen30:58

       Lomachenko?

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       Yeah. He's like, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, switch stance, switch stance-

   25. BCBryan Callen31:03

       Yep.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       ... switch stance. One arm, one arm, one arm. Everything is slow and methodical. He's not doing anything stupid. He has, like, a whole system that he does to warm his body up before he starts moving really fast-

   27. BCBryan Callen31:12

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       ... and throwing punches.

   29. BCBryan Callen31:13

       Mm-hmm. Yeah, and he's-

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:14

       He's a fucking guy.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Mm. …

   1. BCBryan Callen45:00

      and way less team-y if you are somebody that has to solve problems-

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      Mm.

   3. BCBryan Callen45:06

      ... if you are somebody who has to turn a profit, if you're somebody who has to figure out what your p- what your clientele actually will buy. Uh, and I think sometimes that's why people who own businesses and, and people who have to make the trains run on time have a different philosophical and political point of view than do people who essentially spend a lot of time reading, thinking, and writing in an academic institution.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:35

      Right.

   5. BCBryan Callen45:35

      Because you don't need to get down to the level of detail. You can stay in that wonderful world of theory. And that's an important world. It's not to say that you shouldn't have that, but a lot of journalists come from that world. They come straight from that world of theory, that world of that intellectual pursuit, and, and they come right into... Then they see the world, and I think that might be why a lot of times people in the media tend to be a little bit more ideological, maybe a little bit more liberal, depending, 'cause you could say Fox News is just as fucking ideological on the other side. But I, I do think your, your perspective changes when you have to get down to business.

   6. JRJoe Rogan46:17

      When you're out there in the real world.

   7. BCBryan Callen46:18

      Yes.

   8. JRJoe Rogan46:19

      Yeah. No, dude, no doubt.

   9. BCBryan Callen46:19

      It's like fighting. It's like fighting.

   10. JRJoe Rogan46:20

       You need both, though.

   11. BCBryan Callen46:21

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan46:22

       Right? And this is what, what I think we n- need to make this distinction, like, you need these quantum theorists, you need these historians, you need these people that are just completely-

   13. BCBryan Callen46:30

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan46:30

       ... engaged in whatever the subject is again-

   15. BCBryan Callen46:32

       In the world of ideas. Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:33

       ... and, you know, and they're just l- lifelong academics, and this is what they're gonna need.

   17. BCBryan Callen46:37

       You need both.

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:38

       You need both.

   19. BCBryan Callen46:38

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:38

       But what w- the real problem is when people come out of these universities and they have these sort of hard-line ideas of how the world needs to change.

   21. BCBryan Callen46:48

       They're revolutionaries.

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:49

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they, they, there's, it's very exciting.

   23. BCBryan Callen46:51

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:52

       It's very exciting. And then-

   25. BCBryan Callen46:52

       And they wanna burn down the whole building.

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:54

       And then you start-

   27. BCBryan Callen46:55

       That's what's dangerous.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:55

       ... looking for witches, okay?

   29. BCBryan Callen46:56

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:56

       And then you start going, "That bitch said merry Christmas."
5. 1:00:00 – 1:03:48

   Good luck trying to…

   1. BCBryan Callen1:00:00

      right (laughs) , basically. But it was a time when there was ... The everything was up in the air. Einstein comes along and says, "Time and space, mm, not so fast. It's actually relative." And everybody went, "What? Huh?" He goes, "Yeah, time doesn't exist, like a stopwatch. God didn't start a stopwatch," and that's what Newton said, but actually it

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      Good luck trying to work your way through that.

   3. BCBryan Callen1:00:20

      You can't. It-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      The one where, when you go-

   5. BCBryan Callen1:00:21

      It confused everybody.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

      If you go fast enough into space and then come back, everybody here will be old and you'll be the same age.

   7. BCBryan Callen1:00:28

      D- do you know how that works?

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

      Yeah.

   9. BCBryan Callen1:00:29

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       I do. But it's still, like what?

   11. BCBryan Callen1:00:32

       It's really weird. Do you know? I, I, I think this is true. This is what I read. He was walking ... He was like in, uh, where was he? CERN, Switzerland or whatever the fuck it is. He gets off the ... He's trying to come up with these, he's thinking about the theory of relativity or whatever. And he gets off the, the train and he's walking away from the train station. He turns and looks at the clock and the clock says, let's say 6:00. He turns and looks at the clocks and he turns back around and then he stops and he goes, "Wait, hold on. I was walking away from the clock. So when I saw the clock, it said 6:00, but that's how long it took the light to get to my eye. By the time the light hit my eye, it was actually later 'cause the light has to hit my eye for me ... " Do you understand?

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:18

       Right. Infraction of a second later.

   13. BCBryan Callen1:01:20

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:20

       Yeah.

   15. BCBryan Callen1:01:20

       So he said, "What if I was moving at the speed of light? Time would stand still."

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:24

       Dun, dun, dun. Oh.

   17. BCBryan Callen1:01:25

       "Because the light would never hit my eye." It's a weird thing to say, but I was like, that's a fucking ...

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:30

       Yeah. But I wonder if that works with biological aging.

   19. BCBryan Callen1:01:32

       They ... I don't know.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:33

       I wonder if biological aging is on a constant, right?

   21. BCBryan Callen1:01:35

       Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Entropy, right?

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:38

       Well, I know that, like, time would be different, right?... but I wonder, like, when you say, "Time stands still," but it's gotta exist if you're alive. It's gotta exist somehow, biologically. Your body's not gonna stop heart beating and breathing, right?

   23. BCBryan Callen1:01:53

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:53

       So, like, how many heartbeats do you have in you? I mean, that's part of what life is. Life is, like, you've got a limited number of heartbeats, if you wanted to really-

   25. BCBryan Callen1:01:59

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:59

       ... break it down.

   27. BCBryan Callen1:02:00

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:00

       Like, how many of them are you gonna use while you're going through light speed? Those don't count?

   29. BCBryan Callen1:02:04

       I know.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:04

       You're gonna b-... Your heart's gonna beat, right?

Episode duration: 3:00:54