Joe Rogan Experience #1406 - Brian Redban

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (instrumental music plays) Hello, Joe. …

   1. JVJamie Vernon0:00

      (instrumental music plays) Hello, Joe.

   2. BRBrian Redban0:05

      Hello, Joe.

   3. JVJamie Vernon0:06

      Happy New Year.

   4. BRBrian Redban0:07

      Happy 2020.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Happy 2020. That doesn't sound real. 2020 sounds like a fake number. Like, we're in the year 2020, that's like a movie about the future.

   6. JVJamie Vernon0:15

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      So-

   8. BRBrian Redban0:16

      We've already gone past the Blade Runner date, you know?

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      When was the Blade Runner date?

   10. BRBrian Redban0:19

       I think that was September or October of the ni- or last year.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       You know what's interesting about the estimations about the future? No one ever over est- or underestimates. Everyone overestimates, right?

   12. BRBrian Redban0:30

       Right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Like, Space 1999, remember that show?

   14. BRBrian Redban0:33

       Yep.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       That was a ... I'm older than you, but when that show was on TV, people thought that in 1999, we'd be just fucking flying around through space all the time and living out there. (laughs)

   16. BRBrian Redban0:42

       Yeah, like Buck Rogers stuff.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       Yeah. All those, all those shows, like ... So Blade Runner was what year?

   18. BRBrian Redban0:47

       Uh, this last year. 2019.

   19. JVJamie Vernon0:50

       2019.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       Wow. They missed that, huh?

   21. BRBrian Redban0:51

       They ... Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause it's funny when they show it in the movie, it shows like the background looks like, like cr- like s- flying cars and, like-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       Mm-hmm.

   23. BRBrian Redban0:58

       ... crazy, you know, billboards and everything.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       I wonder where technology would be if it wasn't for the internet. Imagine if the internet was not possible, but technology still advanced electronically, like the cap- capability of, you know, showing higher resolution images and processing power and all that stuff kept moving, but they never figured out how to link it all up.

   25. BRBrian Redban1:20

       Yeah. That's weird.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:22

       That's the scariest thing about the internet. It's almost like they put i- uh, like the future put ideas in people's heads and those people just started figuring out a way to connect everybody and then connect all this crazy computing power and all this information and you could translate it in real time and do it all around the world. And the ... What, what a better way to get the technology to advance. 'Cause if it wasn't for the internet, how much ... Where would we, we be at realistically?

   27. BRBrian Redban1:51

       We'd still be racist, we'd still be molesting people at war.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:55

       Still have nuclear bombs.

   29. BRBrian Redban1:57

       We'd still have nuclear bombs.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:57

       We'd still have radio, we'd still have TV.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Hmm. And you would…

   1. BRBrian Redban15:00

      ever looked over.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      Hmm. And you would think, uh, it would be if you're gonna hang yourself from such a short distance, it would be even harder to get a fracture like that, right? 'Cause you're not, like, jumping off... like in an old Western movie, like Clint Eastwood movie, when they would hang them, hang them high.

   3. BRBrian Redban15:16

      So the one thing that they also had in here was he left a note.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:20

      Oh, Jesus.

   5. BRBrian Redban15:21

      Uh, the note said, like... There was, like, four things. It said first that, uh, someone... Uh, it had the name blurred out, but it said this person left him in a shower locked for an hour. It then said someone else gave him, like, burnt food, and then bugs were crawling all over his hands, and then he just wrote, "No fun." But there's a ballpoint pen, like the one I have in my hand, sitting right next to it, and they're like, "If you knew he was on suicide watch, you wouldn't give him a ballpoint pen that he could kill himself with."

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:51

      Jamie, you should be a goddamned detective for CSI.

   7. BRBrian Redban15:53

      Well, this is what they're- this is what they're saying.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:54

      Oh.

   9. BRBrian Redban15:54

      And he had his, uh, his sleep apnea machine was in there. It was... You could see an extension cord coming from the hallway into his room that he could have just used that to kill himself and hang himself. Way easier.

   10. Or the nine jumpsuits. Why does he have nine jumpsuits?

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:07

       Yeah, the jumpsuit thing is freaky.

   12. BRBrian Redban16:09

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       Like, they're trying to explain it by bringing in some, some new witnesses.

   14. BRBrian Redban16:13

       S- so somehow... This is actually a different video that's showing a couple of different things than what I saw this morning. I didn't see this arm thing, and I didn't see the picture of his back, but-

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:20

       But the arm thing looks like an injection spot? Is that what it looks like?

   16. BRBrian Redban16:22

       I guess so. Here's the actual... This is what I saw. Here's the note.

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:26

       What does it say? Sorry.

   18. BRBrian Redban16:27

       So it says that-

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:28

       It's that 60 Minutes got their watermark all over it.

   20. BRBrian Redban16:30

       (laughs)

   21. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:30

       It's so funny. Sorry, 60 Minutes. Thank you. Thanks for getting this. What is it?

   23. BRBrian Redban16:35

       So it says, "Kept me in a locked..." It's blurred right here. It says the name is blurred.

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:38

       Right.

   25. BRBrian Redban16:38

       "Kept me in a locked sha- shower stall for one hour. Neck..." Or, uh, someone, I don't know the name. "Send in burnt food. Giant bugs crawled on my hands," and then, "No fun." And then they're saying, and then he killed... And the... But then this ballpoint pen was next to it, that he could have stabbed himself in the neck or whatever, you know?

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:55

       Yeah, it's hard to kill yourself with a pen.

   27. BRBrian Redban16:57

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:58

       But do they get pens?

   29. BRBrian Redban17:00

       That's the-

   30. Not usually, but this is, like, a, you know.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   He was in Home…

   1. BRBrian Redban30:00

      2.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      He was in Home Alone 2.

   3. BRBrian Redban30:01

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      And in Canada, those silly fucks, they edited it out. The CBC edited out the Donald Trump scene because it's offensive. Offensive as...... to us who, who really enjoy films without monsters. That's history. Are you gonna go into fucking Naked Gun and get rid of OJ? What are you gonna do? Y- what are you gonna do? You gonna take OJ out of the NFL archives? What are you gonna do?

   5. BRBrian Redban30:26

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:26

      No, this is life. L- you can't make life prettier by pulling Donald Trump out of Home Alone. You're supposed to look at it and go, "Holy shit, who would've thought that fucking guy-"

   7. BRBrian Redban30:36

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:36

      ... "... would be the president one day and would be killing dudes and maybe starting World War III like a goddamn Stephen King novel?" You know, Stephen King's freaked out by Trump.

   9. BRBrian Redban30:48

      Hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       "These media posts..." Oh, what happened there? "These media posts will serve as notification to the United States Congress that should Iran strike any US person or target, the United States will cli- quickly and fully strike back and perhaps in a disproportionate manner. Such legal notice is not required, but it is given nevertheless." Dude, fuck this.

   11. BRBrian Redban31:12

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       That, I don't like to see on Twitter. That seems so bizarre. It almost seems like the, the, the simulation theory has hired, like, comedy writers-

   13. BRBrian Redban31:23

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       ... to come in and subtly fuck with everybody. 'Cause he can just put that on Twitter? How can he just put that on Twitter? Like, I thought there was a series of checks and balances.

   15. BRBrian Redban31:35

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:35

       You know? I mean, if... This is ultimately, like, one guy can have, like, an instantaneous press conference anytime he wants just by putting something on Twitter. And then there's all these people that go, "You gotta ban him from Twitter." But here's the problem, you ban him from Twitter, Gab is gonna... He'll go to Gab, right? If he goes to Gab, Gab will all of a sudden skyrocket because everybody's going to want to go to Gab to see Trump talk shit on Gab, where it's f- full freedom of speech. So what if he starts swearing on Gab? What if they make a deal with him? What if they give him 50% of Gab 'cause they think it's imminent because of this, uh, war we're in with Iran? This could be a movie, where they're, they're going to ban him from Twitter and Vijay and, and, and, and Jack Dorsey has to leave. He's in a meditation, uh, silent meditation in fucking Bali, and he has to fly in and he has to figure out whether or not w-... they can make this executive decision to ban Trump. But everybody's calling for it, "Ban Trump! Ban Trump! Ban him! Ban him!" And then they... If they banned him off Twitter, imagine if you went to the thing and the page said banned, you would just open up your windows and hear liberals cheering like King Kong just fell off the Empire State Building. "Yes! He's fucking banned!" The YouTube videos would be spectacular. Do you know how many virtue signaling dipshits would have YouTube videos just screaming and pumping their fists in the air and pointing to the screen with Donald Trump and it says, "Owned"?

   17. BRBrian Redban32:55

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan32:57

       You know how many it would be? It would be hilarious. And all he would have to do is do that and, and go over somewhere else and that new platform would be fucking gigantic because everybody would want to know what he says. And if he says it over there, everybody else would just retweet it on Twitter anyway. It would probably be like killing coyotes. You know how you kill coyotes and then they make more coyotes? Like, a female, when they, when they, when they shout out, that's like a roll call. And if someone's missing, the female makes more babies. That's one of the craziest things about coyotes. That's why they're everywhere. That's what would happen with Trump. If they ban him off Twitter, his signal would be bigger than ever. It would be fucking bonkers. Like, they're in a precarious situation now too, because these, these social media companies, they're, they're being labeled as someone who would ban freedom of speech from certain people if they don't believe with their ideas. Now, if this happens to be the president that they say, "You can't have freedom of speech on our platform anymore," then everything is, like, out the window. Like, "What is this? What are we doing?" And then, and then if it backfires and Twitter loses all of its power and some other fucking company comes along and takes the spot, some company that promises to never do that to the president, let people express themselves, but explain perhaps through a fucking series of checks and balances why you can't stalk somebody or be mean to somebody or... It doesn't make any sense or it just, it just really hard-

   19. BRBrian Redban34:22

       And honestly, is it about him being on the most pop-... Is, like, Twitter then, like, the most popular platform? Because he could do radio-

   20. JRJoe Rogan34:27

       He could do anything he wants.

   21. BRBrian Redban34:28

       Like... Yeah. And nobody's... No one's paying attention to the radio or the TV things that he does and everyone pays attention to his tweets?

   22. JRJoe Rogan34:33

       Well, it's interesting because he's gotta think. He has... He... I mean, he's a guy that obviously he does a lot of business deals and he does a lot of deals simultaneously. It's the only way he could have as many properties as he has. You know, he's got Trump Towers everywhere. He's got them in Vegas, in Chicago, and all over the world. Like, he's got to be a guy that's always thinking about doing the next thing. And if he was, like, you would think he's, like, setting himself up as a business. It's like he's a business. He's a... He's now not just a president and he's always been a business. He's always been a celebrity and a, and, you know, iconic financial character. But now his entertainment, like, what he says about life and everything is fucking super valuable. If Trump... Like, if Trump had that show, if he decides to have a podcast, do you know goddamn crazy it would be? If Donald Trump just pulls up, has a YouTube channel, talks into the camera, says what he really thinks about everything, they release it as a podcast as well, and no one can stop him... 'Cause that's freedom of speech, because freedom of speech is let this guy talk. Do you know how... If he started threatening people, like, threatening Iran from his YouTube channel, like-

   23. BRBrian Redban35:46

       God.

   24. JRJoe Rogan35:46

       ... what the fuck? Imagine if World War III is caused by a tweet. Imagine if Trump threatens someone and they retaliate to show they're not scared and we nuke them, and then, oh my God, from a Trump tweet. Could you... Is that possible? It seems like anything is possible.

   25. BRBrian Redban36:07

       He's probably gonna do it right at the end too.

   26. JRJoe Rogan36:10

       But the end is a weird one, right? Like, is it going to be a few months from now or is it going to be four years from now?

   27. BRBrian Redban36:17

       That's with all this Iran thing is it might happen faster. It, it... I didn't think it was gonna happen at all. But now maybe this Iran thing-

   28. JRJoe Rogan36:23

       You mean the impeachment thing?

   29. BRBrian Redban36:24

       Yeah. Maybe this is for a purpose.

   30. JRJoe Rogan36:27

       He's not gonna just go-... that's the thing. And there's a lot of people that don't want him to go. The Republicans don't wanna lose power. (smacks lips) And they're very smart in that even ones that are, you know, that were never Trumpers at one point in time, they've accepted him.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Right. …

   1. BRBrian Redban45:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      Right.

   3. BRBrian Redban45:01

      Just that they're hanging out somewhere.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      But, um, it... It's so strange that he's doing it like this. You know what I'm saying?

   5. NANarrator45:09

      ... more good in this world.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      I mean, this is a character.

   7. NANarrator45:13

      Hey, I know what you're thinking.

   8. BRBrian Redban45:14

      Look, he's rustling the fire for no reason.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:15

      I know what you're thinking.

   10. BRBrian Redban45:16

       (laughs)

   11. NANarrator45:16

       I'm dead serious.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:18

       I'm dead-

   13. NANarrator45:18

       And it's not that hard, trust me. The next time someone does something you don't like, you can go on the attack, but you can also hold your fire and do the unexpected. You can kill them with kindness.

   14. BRBrian Redban45:35

       What the fuck?

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:36

       He says this and then the guy commits suicide.

   16. BRBrian Redban45:38

       (laughs)

   17. What the fuck?

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       Bro, what is this world? Imagine if he threatens everybody and starts getting jobs again. People are like, "I don't know how he's doing it, but everybody's dying. Well, let's just hire him, man. Let's..." House of Cards would be fucking huge. "Just hear me out." Season 9, we never showed that he was dead. We never showed that he was dead. They... That... The last season when they had no him, I was like, "What are you doing?" Okay. "What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing here? What'd you" What did, "you do to my show? This ain't my show." This is like, "Oh, my God. Everybody's watching us." That's what the show was now. "Oh, my God. Everybody's watching everything we do. Oh, my God. Now what do we do?" That show seemed so, like, nervous, didn't it? The first episode, it was like they didn't have, like, a regular House of Cards episode. It was like everything was, like, a little bit barely glued together. It was like...

   19. BRBrian Redban46:32

       And they tried to figure out how to say how he was gone or whatever too, right? And it was like...

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:36

       I f- I wonder if, like, they were reluctant. I wonder if they're like, "Just keep running the show. You know how many people watch? We apologize."

   21. BRBrian Redban46:44

       They didn't have to re-film like they did that other movie. They didn't even start yet, right? Do you remember? 'Cause there was a movie they made where they had to go back and shoot with somebody else that he was in.

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:51

       That's right. Yeah, that's right.

   23. BRBrian Redban46:53

       'Cause everything was done.

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:54

       Yeah, they had to re-shoot it. He was great in Baby Driver. He's a great actor, man. He's just a crazy fuck that grabs dicks. The one guy that died, though, one of the reasons why... I mean, I'm not really that... I don't... I don't think that this would warrant a murder. All they did was... Uh, they were hanging out and, uh, he said Kevin Spacey reached down and grabbed his junk and said, "Let's go get some air." And, uh, he got mad and said, "No, what the fuck?" But do you think someone... I mean, would that be a reason why Kevin Spacey would kill you for saying that?

   25. BRBrian Redban47:32

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:34

       I mean, how many people is he gonna kill? Do you think he killed people? What do you think? I wanna know your honest opinion.

   27. BRBrian Redban47:40

       What if he always killed people? Yeah, uh-

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:42

       Kevin Spacey settles assault lawsuit following death of accuser.

   29. BRBrian Redban47:46

       That was one week after that video was posted.

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:49

       Whoa.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:12:50

   Do you ever get…

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

   2. BRBrian Redban1:00:00

      Do you ever get to travel to Mexico?

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:01

      I love Mexico.

   4. BRBrian Redban1:00:02

      What's your favorite part?

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:03

      Puerto Vallarta?

   6. BRBrian Redban1:00:04

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

      Yeah. I love it there. Do you know what else is dope is, uh, Chichen Itza. The, uh, that's the Mayan ruins in the Yucatan. Pff- fuck, man. Th- that, that was one where I was walking around it going, "H- what? Who? How?" Like, "What, what were you guys like?" (laughs) You guys built giant, huge stone structures that mimic the cosmos. You had specific rooms-

   8. JVJamie Vernon1:00:32

      Wow.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:32

      ... that were designed for LSD use. They would take some, uh ... They got, at least according to my guide, he was saying that they had some plant that had lysergic acid in it. There's a bunch of different plants like, um ... (sighs) Where do they get them from? Morning glory seeds. Morning glory seeds apparently you can get acid from. And, uh, they would take whatever this ... They don't know exactly what the substance was and they would trip balls.... but he showed me all these different places where they did, like, sacri- human sacrifice, where they, uh, had this game. And the, the game, what was really crazy was he was ... That's the human sacrifice spot. They would put people right on that spot and cut their fucking heart out.

   10. JVJamie Vernon1:01:14

       Wow.

   11. BRBrian Redban1:01:14

       Sh- yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:15

       Holla. Holla! (slaps desk) And look at the dude, the dude's face that you would kill s- someone on. Like, it's so creepy.

   13. BRBrian Redban1:01:22

       (laughs)

   14. JVJamie Vernon1:01:22

       It's so cool.

   15. BRBrian Redban1:01:22

       What do you got for me?

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:23

       Imagine they're pulling you over there and laying you down on that fucking thing to cut your heart out.

   17. BRBrian Redban1:01:27

       Fuck no.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:27

       That was a weird thing that people used to like to do, human sacrifice. You know? Like, um, do you know about the, uh, Mexican pyramid? The Aztec pyramid of, uh, d- ... I think you say Teotihuacan? Do you know how to say that?

   19. BRBrian Redban1:01:41

       Teo- Teo- ... No. I'm not saying it, not trying it.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:42

       Teotihuacan? See if you can get an audio so we can l- listen to how, how you're pronouncing that word. But that temple, when they, um, built it, afterwards they slaughtered all of the slaves. How do you say that? Here we goes. Talk to professor, how to pronounce. Here we go. Give me it. Teotihuacan. Damn, what a dope language.

   21. BRBrian Redban1:02:04

       (laughs) Teo-

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:02:04

       What a dope language.

   23. BRBrian Redban1:02:07

       Teo-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:02:07

       Teotihuacan.

   25. BRBrian Redban1:02:09

       Teo-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:02:09

       People, people just like, when they believed in magic, they had cooler ways of describing things. Teotihuacan. This, I mean, how are you, like, li- stop and look at that word. How were you living 10,000 years ago, barely scraping by, do you have the time to come up with that many words, like that many, that many n- sounds for one word? Teotihuacan. You know? What's your name? Jamie Vernon. Super simple. Comes off the tongue, zero problems.

   27. BRBrian Redban1:02:40

       Same amount of sounds, Jamie Vernon.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:42

       Where do you live? Uh-

   29. BRBrian Redban1:02:44

       Ohio.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:44

       Teotihuacan.

Episode duration: 2:40:50