EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,040 words- 0:00 – 15:00
... two, one. (smacks lips)…
- JRJoe Rogan
... two, one. (smacks lips) Kevin Ross, bringer of gifts.
- KRKevin Ross
(laughs) What's good, man? How you doing?
- JRJoe Rogan
Hey, good to see you, brother. thanks for-
- KRKevin Ross
Good to see you too.
- JRJoe Rogan
... very much for that bag.
- KRKevin Ross
Oh, you're very welcome.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's very cool. People, uh, I'll let you know, uh, Kevin brought a giant, heavy bag filled with sand that has to weigh north of 200 pounds, right?
- KRKevin Ross
Oh, yeah. I, I think it's about 250.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah. It was r- a lot of fun getting that in my car by myself.
- JRJoe Rogan
Is that your preferred method for conditioning your shins?
- KRKevin Ross
For sure. For sure. You know, the, the thing with con- shin conditioning, a lot of people do, you know, they smack themselves in the shin with bottles and kinda stupid things like that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- KRKevin Ross
But you're, you're not really creating what you need to, which is, uh, overall, um, conditioning, um, overall strengthening of the ner- um, the bone. Um, all you're d- really doing is deadening little spots in your nerves, but that's the worst thing you can do without strengthening your bones. So you're deadening the nerves, but not strengthening the bone overall, and if-
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- KRKevin Ross
... you're not doing that, you're gonna think your bone's a lot stronger than it is, but it can't handle the impact. So with, with a sandbag, you're, you're, you're covering much more, uh, surface area and, you know, applying it in a realistic situation where you're th- you're able to throw kicks repeatedly at this thing. And what you, what you really wanna do is do it to a degree that it's causing a certain amount of pain, but you're able to do this daily, um, with, with repetition, because that's how you continually develop. Just like getting stronger at anything, you know, it ca- it doesn't happen overnight. You gotta just do this every day, just at the end of your session, knock out a few kicks, and then again tomorrow, and again the next day, and you slowly and steadily are then able to go harder and harder and, and, and, and, um, develop this strength and conditioning in your shins.
- JRJoe Rogan
So the idea is that you're making, like, these little, tiny micro-fractures, right?
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah, for sure. And, um, yeah, li- like I said, you wanna be able to cover a good s- surface area so you're hitting it all a- kind of at once, as, as opposed to, like, little spots-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- KRKevin Ross
... which is what happens when you just whack it with a bat-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- KRKevin Ross
... or something like that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, my experience with whacking it with a bat is everybody kinda quits.
- KRKevin Ross
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You're like, "Hey, I'm gonna condition my shins," and then they just go, "F- what the fuck am I doing?" And they stop-
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... doing it.
- KRKevin Ross
Well, the thing too with, with when you're able to kick like that is you can kinda slowly build up. You know, you start a little bit, lightly, and, and develop a little bit stronger, and you kinda create a little, little bit of a crease, and, you know, uh, as you get going, you, you, your brain can kinda wrap itself around it a little bit better, and then you start going harder and harder. And by the end of, you know, your five, 10-minute session, y- you're putting some serious weight into that, and you're not, you're not, um, noticing it as much.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, we were talking about your, your, um, knee, that you had a, a fracture in your knee that you didn't realize you had.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- 15:00 – 30:00
Yeah, yeah, that's nice.…
- JRJoe Rogan
you're down there in an hour.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah, yeah, that's nice.
- JRJoe Rogan
Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo. Oh, yeah. Have you ever been in a helicopter?
- KRKevin Ross
I haven't. They kind of freak me out a little bit.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
You know, they just-
- JRJoe Rogan
(sighs)
- KRKevin Ross
They just seem so sketchy.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're sketchy.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Uh, but if they're well-maintained like anything else, you know?
- KRKevin Ross
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
He took me up in one, and we flew over Van Nuys, and over Ma- it was crazy flying over Malibu 'cause we did it right after the fires.
- KRKevin Ross
Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So you got to see all the houses that were burnt to the ground.
- KRKevin Ross
Mm.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nuts, man. And like Point Dume, so these just huge estates that are probably worth $25 million-
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... is burnt to the fucking ground. It's like, and so many of them, man.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Malibu lost like 600 structures.
- KRKevin Ross
That's wild, man. It's, it's hard to wrap your brain around the, the damage that was done. And then I saw this scale which showed, you know, what the California fires are and what the Australian fires are.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my God.
- KRKevin Ross
And that's just...
- JRJoe Rogan
My friend Tom-
- KRKevin Ross
It's, it's unreal.
- JRJoe Rogan
... is there right now, and he said they had to divert his plane. He was supposed to fly into Melbourne, and they diverted it to Sydney because they couldn't fly through the smoke.
- KRKevin Ross
Man.
- JRJoe Rogan
70% of the country is covered in smoke.
- KRKevin Ross
(imitates fire blazing)
- 30:00 – 45:00
(laughs) …
- KRKevin Ross
you, you'd probably laugh too, like, "What do you, what do, what do you mean you're gonna fight?" Are you stupid?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
That's the stupidest thing I could ever think of. And, um, one of my best friends, Moe, he, um... for whatever reason, this one night we were up on the roof drinking and smoking weed, and he... we got to talking just about life, and he was actually born with, um, a heart defect. I can't remember the exact name of, uh, the disease that he had, but he was in and outta hospitals his whole life. He was ev- eventually gonna need to get a heart transplant, and, uh, he's like, "What do you wanna do with your life?" You know (laughs) , I looked at him like he was asking me what, uh, what do I wanna do when I got to the moon. I'm like, "What do you mean what do I wanna do with my life?" And then he's like... I was like, "Well, I always wanted to fight," and expecting him to laugh at me about this. He was like, "Well, why don't you?"... why don't you do it? And you know, I told him, "Well, I feel old already." I was 18 at the time. I f- already felt ancient then. You know, and I told him all my reasons and all my fears and doubts and, and all these things. He's like, "You know what, man..." He's like, "If anybody can do it, you can." He's like, "I think you should." And, uh, and that really, that always stuck with me. I was like, "Um, maybe I can." And, and in that moment, you know, I felt very motivated and, and wanted to do it. But by dr- you know, continuing to drink and all these other things, I just put it, suppressed it into the back of my mind. And then about a year later, um, he was in the hospital and, um, he needed to get a heart transplant and they basically, it was basically at that point was like, "You're gonna be here until you get one or y- you're gonna die." And, you know, I don't think any of us realized how serious it was or maybe we just didn't want to. (sniffs) He ended up passing away, um, while he was waiting for the transplant. And that just obviously devastated me to- to- to- to- to no end. And through that night, through my drunken coping, I was like, "I- I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna go after this dream." You know, my friend, he didn't even get a chance to fail at a dream and I'm too scared to even try b- for no reason, just out of fear that n- literally my only reason not to do this other than, you know, financial and all those other, um, surface things. But it really just boiled down to fear. (sniffs) And I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna d- I'm gonna go after this for him. You know, he didn't get a chance to live, I'm gonna, I'm gonna live for the both of us." But, you know, unfortunately, his, his death sent me even harder down that downward spiral of alcohol and depression. And three years later, I, um, I just had a realization one day. I was like, "If he was still alive, he'd beat the fuck out of me for wasting my life."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
I've been wasting my life for 21 years because I'm afraid. You know, I'm afraid and I'm, I'm too afraid to fail. I'm too afraid of all these stupid reasons that, that all of us give ourselves in order to make ourselves feel better about not going after things. But really, they're just that, they're just that, they're just excuses. They're just things that make you feel better. (sniffs) And they're bullshit. They're all bullshit. Almost every excuse we have is total bullshit 'cause there's people with those excuses and with all those reasons and more and they're able, and they do it. I'm like, "What is your excuse?" And it just, it just smacked me in the face one day and I, I, I was at that point when I could not ignore it any longer and this was going into, um, 2003. Uh, so I was like, made it my New Year's resolution to do this and, um, you know, one night I, I was sitting down with my father and we'd have these, we s- he'd get into these long talks with me 'cause I was always very quiet and he'd, he'd like take me off to the side in his way to kinda talk to me and get to know me better. And he was like, "So, why don't you tell me something you've never told anybody?" You know, I'm like, "What, what do you mean?" Like, "What can I ... like I killed somebody when I was little?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
You know, like, I'm like, like racking my brain what I could possibly tell him and, uh, you know, that, that kept replaying in my mind that, "You wanna fight. You wanna fight. You wanna fight." (sniffs) And, um, very, like, quietly was like, "I, I wanna fight one day." And he's like, "What?" He's like, "I wanna fight." And he's like, "What do you mean you wanna fight?" And you know, I told him and he's like, "Well, why don't you?" And I told him all these reasons. He's like, "Well, I cannot help you with all of your fears and doubts and this, but look, (sniffs) I'll make a deal with you. If you quit drinking and dedicate yourself to this, I'll take care of, um, every, all the financial things in order f- to let you do this." I was like... He's like, "We got a deal?" I was like, "All right, yeah." And he's like, and he points to that, I was drinking a 40 at the time. He's like, "What about that drink in your hand?" And I was like, "Well, I was gonna start tomorrow so, you know-"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
"... I don't want to, you know, maybe I could finish this all right." But, you know, I, I understood even at that age, like, you can't put things off like that. It was like, "You're gonna do it."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- KRKevin Ross
"If you're serious about it, you're gonna do it now." So I dumped out the rest of the 40 in the, the sink he had in there and two days later I got into the gym. And, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
Was it hard to wean yourself off the alcohol though if you were physically dependent on it?
- KRKevin Ross
It was, it was both extremely difficult, yet I was so focused on this goal that none of those ... I, I, I had to overcome so much not just the physical dependence of the, on alcohol, but, but my lifestyle and, uh, and s- change so many things. But I'd been putting this off for so long that I knew there was, there was no time for me to, to waste. You know, I was so focused on this that, like, once I made that switch in my mind, like, "I'm gonna go after this and there's nothing that's gonna stop me." And I've wasted so many years already that everything I'm doing is, is gonna be playing catch-up. You know, the, there's no way for me to get to, like, I'd look at, you know, the, like, Senshine, guys like that, and be like, "I'm never gonna get there." So everything that I do has to be to get me closer to this goal and I can't allow, you know, my physical dependency or my doubts or any of these things slow me down because, uh, everything I'm doing, I have to play catch-up. You know? And, um, having that, that focus allowed me to overcome all of those, those physical and emotional and mental challenges. And, of course, that's not to say it was easy. It was e- extremely difficult. It was extremely difficult but it was ... you got two choices, you know. You can, you can allow these things to slow you down and hinder you and weaken you or you can say, "I'm gonna go forward anyway. Doesn't matter how afraid I am. It doesn't matter how hurt I am. Doesn't matter how tired I am. This is what I want and I'm gonna put everything that I have into this so that way w-When I'm done, when my, when my life is over, when I can't do this anymore, I can look back and have no regrets that I didn't allow these things to slow me down. I didn't allow the excuses that we all have hinder me and keep me from doing this, you know, because one day we're gonna wake up and realize we could have gone after these things, and we didn't because of X, Y, and Z. But really, those things aren't, aren't anything, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you stop and think about those moments when you first started? This... 'cause that's a profound life shift-
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... right? To go from being a guy who's kind of aimless and partying a lot but knowing that you should do something with your life (snaps fingers) to finally doing something.
- KRKevin Ross
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, what was it like when you finally started training? What, what did it feel like when you actually f-... I mean, 'cause you hadn't r-... Had you done anything athletic before that?
- KRKevin Ross
Uh, you know, I was, I was always athletic my whole life. I, I was always really good at sports. I hated, I hated the team aspect of things though.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- KRKevin Ross
I despised being on a team of any kind. I, I love playing sports for the, for the love of it, you know, but anytime I was on, like, a team, I would... just hated it. I despised it, and you know, by the time I was like, I think 12, I completely turned my back on anything team-related because I felt... to me, it felt like it just ruined all the beautiful things about the physicality of, of athletics. You know, it put this, this, l-... this... well, it, it hindered me in a lot of ways, you know.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- KRKevin Ross
And having to rely on other people, you know, was always a big thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- KRKevin Ross
You know, it's like, it doesn't matter how hard I work because this person might not have worked at all.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- KRKevin Ross
And, you know, that's why I'm so drawn to fighting because it's, it's... even though you do have a team, of course, it really is... everything is on you, the good and the bad. There's nothing you can po-... you can point to all these other things, but it's really just you. Um, so yeah, I, I think back, and I look back to that time, and um-
- JRJoe Rogan
What was the first day like?
- KRKevin Ross
It was-
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you remember it?
- 45:00 – 1:00:00
(laughs) …
- KRKevin Ross
Thai people to have to say that is... It's devastating. It's like, uh, someone would say, "Well, it's like karate." You know what I mean? Which, which... No disrespect to any of these other arts, but, but to say that it's that in order to help people. Yeah, most of the time I would just say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like kickboxing," you know.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
Instead of having to explain to them what it is, and, um... Yeah, so nine months in, I got the, uh... There was gonna be a fight in Salt Lake City, Utah, and, uh, a bunch o- of the other people at the gym were fighting as well, and we were all gonna go up there, um, and compete.
- JRJoe Rogan
Is this an amateur fight?
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah, yeah, and-
- JRJoe Rogan
Headgear?
- KRKevin Ross
Um, mm-hmm. No. Yes, headgear but... You know, the funny thing was we had headgear but we didn't have shin guards, we had eight-ounce gloves, and we had knees to the head.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- KRKevin Ross
Which was a trip. So, um, anyway, so w- so... And I was like, "Oh, yeah, great, we get to fight," and then I was so excited and, um, my pops and, uh, Gina and we, uh, we drove up there and, um, you know. Like I said, I really felt like I was on my way, but when we got there, um, the guy that I was originally supposed to fight, I don't remember if he backed out or it was just that he was closer in weight to somebody else, um, you know. And that was kind of the thing back then, we would just show up at places and be like, "You gotta fight for me or don't you?" And, um, they didn't, and, um, I was like, "Oh my god." I was devastated. I was devastated. I'm like, "I did all this work, I was so ready and now I don't have a fight." And, you know, my trainer's like, "Well, is, is there somebody else you can get?" And so the, the, the, the promoter, you know, he's calling around, calling around and then finally he's like, um, "Well, there's one guy that's gonna take it but he outweighs you by 20 pounds and he's had about 30 fights already."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
I was like, "Let's do it. I don't give a fuck, man." I was like, "I didn't do all this for nothing," you know what I'm saying? And, you know, and again that like... That was just our mentality. The way that we came up and the people that we came up under was you fight anytime, anywhere, anyone, any style, any weight, it doesn't matter. And, um, so yeah, I didn't even... I didn't even really think about it, uh, as far as, like, that goes, you know. It's like, "I get to fight? That's fucking awesome, man." And, uh, I felt, I felt, I felt confident in a way, but it's also that you have no idea what you're really doing. Like, you can train your whole life, but if you've never fought, you don't know anything, anything. You have no concept of what it's like to be in there. You could have the hardest sparring in the world with, with a complete stranger and it's night and day between a real fight and sparring. And so it's like, yeah, you, you, you wanna feel confident going in there but you have no concept of, of what it is. So it's really just fake. It's fake confidence. And, um... I got fucking crushed, man. So I go out there and, uh, I, uh... You know, I have no concept of, uh, like, pacing myself or anything, so I just, like... I'm, like, sprinting at this guy. And in, like, 30 seconds, I was j- done. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't... I could barely even see. It felt like, it felt like I was underwater, um, and it was, it w- it, though it was the worst thing in the world 'cause nothing this guy was doing was hurting me and every time he would hit me, the whole crowd's like, "Oh." And all I wanted to do was just say, "I- it's n- it's isn't bothering me. This isn't hurting." Like, I wanted to, like, tell everybody-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- KRKevin Ross
... like, "This isn't hurting me. I, I can't breathe. Like, all I'm really trying to do is not pass out right now." And, and, I, I, I mean, like, physically I, I couldn't do anything but, but I was able to last for a while and, uh, do a couple decent things in there. But by the third round, he was just battering me and kneed me in the face and, you know, he d- he just kept clinching me up and was just kneeing the piss out of me, and there was nothing I could do. And they, they finally stopped it-... in the third round and I was, I was devastated, man. I was, I was devastated, and I remember walking, like, as I was walking back to the, the locker room, everyone in the crowd was, like, cheering for me and they're like, "Oh, that was awesome, man." Like, like, "Good job, good job." I'm like, "What is wrong with these people? Like, that wasn't good. That was so terrible. That was terrible." And, um, I was, like, laying in the back, I'm bleeding all over the place and, uh, my opponent comes in and he's like, "Dude, that was your first fight?" I was like, "Yeah." He's like, "Man, I hate to see you in, like, a year or two." He's like, "That was, that was amazing." And, you know, that really, that really stuck with me, you know? That, that one, that he said that, and also just the, the impact I saw that you could have on people that, that it's not necessarily about whether you win or lose, that it's what you show in there. It's the heart that you show, it's the, the spirit that you show. And, um, you know, I, I had, like, a day or two when I was like, "Maybe this just isn't for me." You know, I thought, I thought that this ... that I was gonna be so good at this. I thought that I was just gonna, like, skyrocket to the top and I got crushed, man. I didn't even make it out of the fight. I'm like, "Maybe this isn't for me." But I was forced to face that day one. Like, "Do you want to do this regardless of how good you are, regardless if you win? If you, if you can't win and maybe you can't be the best in the world, do you still wanna do this?" Yeah, I fucking do. I love this so much and me having to face that so early on was, was, was s- extremely significant. I saw so many of the people I trained with would go on these undefeated streaks, like 10, 15, 20 fights, but inevitably, you will lose and if you haven't had to confront that early on, eventually you do. Uh, most of those people never fought again or are just, like, crushed emotionally where they weren't able to overcome it. But I had to deal with that the first day and overcome it and be like, "You know what? That doesn't matter. I'm gonna, I'm gonna bust my ass in the gym and I'll make sure that never happens again." And I went on to win, like, 19, 20 fights in a row from there. And, you know, that was really, um, a significant moment in my career where I had to confront the, the reality of this and, you know, that so much of, of fighting is, is, is, is, uh, perfect metaphor for, for, for things in life. Like, if you really want something, you can't always focus on what the results are or the immediate results, like winning and losing and all of these things are ... So much of that is just on the surface, ego level of things.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- KRKevin Ross
And when you break it all down, like, what is your ... why are you doing this? You know, I'm doing this 'cause I love it. I'm doing this to improve myself. I'm doing this because it's what keeps me healthy, um, mentally, physically, spiritually and all of these things. And that's the most important thing. And yes, it was an extreme motivator to be better and, you know, not to let that hap- happen to me again, but, um, you know, really, it really, uh, made things clear to me early on, like, what's important here.
- JRJoe Rogan
And also, just to get over that it's so, it's so psychologically important that you, like you were saying, you just kept getting, sort of, tossed to the wolves.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Everything you did was difficult. It was almost symbolic-
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... of your journey that you were forced to fight someone who had 30 fights and 20 pounds heavier-
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and you had no experience. The, i- trusting the process is ... You really only trust the process if you ... it's difficult.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know that whole expression, trust the pro- ... Well, if you're fucking everybody up, what do you mean trust the process?
- KRKevin Ross
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You're out there just fucking everybody up. Of course I'm trusting the pro- I'm the man.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right? But when you get your ass handed to you and then you have to rebuild, then you have to realize, well, there's a series of variables in here you're encountering. With, uh, variables in speed, in, in, in aggressiveness, and in styles, and in trickery, and some people are better than others at figuring you out, and some people have a style that's tailor-made to defeat your style.
- KRKevin Ross
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
And it's good when that does happen.
- 1:00:00 – 1:13:35
Yeah. …
- KRKevin Ross
"You're not," like, "You don't even..." How could, how could that happen? And l- like, thinking about how ... Saw a study that said one in six males are abused by the time they're 18, which means every one of us probably knows somebody that this has happened to. You know, and to think how, uh, devastating it is, uh, to women, um, but, but, but to our men, it's, it's, it's, it's such a different thing 'cause you're almost, it's almost viewed, uh, sp- well, when it happens f- from a, a, a woman, you know, it's, it's almost viewed as, like, a good thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- KRKevin Ross
You know? Like, it's a positive thing. Like, "Oh, ch- I wish that happened to me when I was a kid." Like, "I wanna, I wanna be molested." And, um, you know, we're not able to really understand it, um, a- and understand the, the damage that it, that it does and, and, you know, I, I, I, I ... If I wouldn't have felt so alone and, and, and, and so isolated at the time, I, you know, I don't necessarily know if things would've changed but I definitely would've-... wouldn't have felt so alone, you know. I wouldn't have felt like there's nobody in the world that could possibly understand this. There's nobody that ... Who can I talk to about this? You know, like, I can't talk to my friends. A couple of my friends knew. They thought it was the coolest shit ever, you know. They're like, "I want that. I want that bad." And I'm like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, it was your stepmom too, which is-
- KRKevin Ross
Dude, it was, it was (sigh) so confusing, you know. I was, I was, I was very conflicted by it, you know. Like, I couldn't understand it at all and then to have this person, like, man- mentally manipulating me and ma- making like, "Oh, it's not a big deal." It's o- it's almost like it's a good thing, you know. Like, it's like, "There's nothing wrong," you know. "It's, it's, um, you know, I'm not a stranger." And, and this, um, you know, even prior to the ... As I said, I started drinking when I was 12, but, but this really just derailed me so much and made me internalize and put up these barriers and walls around me and, and things that I'm ... Like I said, I'm only even just at, at this age starting to understand, like, the negative habits that this created in me, um, of, uh, of distrust and of, of, of, of, of, of negativity and of, of, of, um, you know, um, having to be, having to be alone and not trust people and, you know.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- KRKevin Ross
And, and so many things like that, that, you know, like, Gina's probably the only person that I've ever talked to in depth about this. I mean, m- my couple people in my family know and almost none of my friends know. I've never spoken to this to anybody, you know. I, I, I, I, I tried to, uh, go to a therapist once and, and, and talk about this, but I started realizing, like, this therapist is getting more out of this, our, our interaction, than I, than I am. Like, he's, you know, like, a overweight person that needs, like, self-confidence help. I'm like, "Oh, geez, man." Like, like, "Who can I fucking talk to about this?" And, you know, maybe, maybe I can't talk to anybody, but I am in a position to where I can reach out and, and let other people let ... know that they're not the only ones going through this. And, and that has been weighing on me so much lately, especially over the last few years, um. And I'm like, "You are in a position to be able ... Even if you ... It only helps one person. Like, you can. You just don't know how to." I'm like, "Well, I could write about it, or I could do, like, a video blog or something." And, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I'm like, "How do I ... How can I do this? And, like, should I do this?" I'm like, "I don't know if that's, like, a good thing." Like, uh, um, it's not like I'm a, like, psychologist or someone that can, like, help with this and ... But I, I, I, I just felt like I need to express this and, and, and, and communicate this and then maybe it can do some good for even one person. And then if I didn't, that would haunt me forever.
- JRJoe Rogan
I, uh, I had an experience when I was 13 with a girl who lived up the street who was 21, a co- a couple times. But, um, it was very different than your experience. It was, uh, (sniffs) I mean, I'm f- ashamed to say it, but it was kinda fun. You know, it's, it was different. It was ... I couldn't believe it. It was very weird.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it definitely, like, kinda screwed up my idea of what boy/girl interaction was.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I didn't go from, like, 13-year-olds most the time they're like, "You want a kiss? I don't know, do you? I don't know."
- KRKevin Ross
(laughs) Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
To, you know, this girl grabbing my dick and-
- KRKevin Ross
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... pulling her tits out. She was a woman, you know.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
She was 21.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And it didn't, it didn't hurt me like your story. Like, your story hurts. Like, it sounds like you were betrayed and you were, you were s- ... And also, the, the fact that it was your stepmom, I mean, with me, it was like, "What the fuck was that all about?"
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I don't, I don't ... I didn't tell anybody.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I didn't tell anybody for, like, fucking years and years later. I probably didn't tell anyone until I was in my 20s.
- KRKevin Ross
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
And, uh, I think I probably told a girlfriend when I was in my 20s.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And she was like, "When, when was the first time you ever fooled around?" I was like, "Well ..." You know, 'cause that was really the first time I had ever fooled around with anyone was this 21-year-old woman.
- KRKevin Ross
Yeah. I-
- JRJoe Rogan
What up?
Episode duration: 2:32:21
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