Joe Rogan Experience #1440 - Fortune Feimster

Joe Rogan 0:00 Three, two, one. Fortune. What's up?

Fortune Feimster 0:03 Jo.

Joe Rogan 0:04 Good to see you. What's happening?

Fortune Feimster 0:05 You too. This is exciting.

Joe Rogan 0:06 It's exciting for me too.

Fortune Feimster 0:08 Aww.

Joe Rogan 0:08 Aww.

Fortune Feimster 0:08 Our first date.

Joe Rogan 0:10 Do you have a special coming out or something going on?

Fortune Feimster 0:12 I- it just came out.

Joe Rogan 0:13 (gasps)

Fortune Feimster 0:13 Like, a month ago.

Joe Rogan 0:15 Oh, it's out already?

Fortune Feimster 0:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:16 I didn't even know.

Fortune Feimster 0:16 Well, there's a lot of specials coming out right now.

Joe Rogan 0:18 Goddamn, is this the craziest time ever for specials?

Fortune Feimster 0:20 Yeah. It's like one after another after another.

Joe Rogan 0:23 It really is. Like, I can't remember ever in the history of comedy there's been this many specials released.

Fortune Feimster 0:28 No. And like, just killers every week.

Joe Rogan 0:31 Yeah. Speaking of special, pull up the, um, the video of Tom Segura's-

Fortune Feimster 0:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:36 ... new special. There's a... Uh, it's on... "Netflix is a joke," on, uh, Instagram. Has a copy of it.

Fortune Feimster 0:43 Oh, 'cause he's doing English and Spanish, right?

Joe Rogan 0:45 Yeah. Uh, this one's just English.

Fortune Feimster 0:47 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 0:47 And he's gonna do one in Spanish. You gotta... Yeah, people don't know that Tom Segura is fluent in Espanol.

Fortune Feimster 0:53 Yeah. He had his mom on his podcast.

Joe Rogan 0:55 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 0:55 And that was cool.

Joe Rogan 0:55 In Spanish.

Fortune Feimster 0:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:56 Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's funny because he looks so white. He looks like a white bro.

Fortune Feimster 1:01 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02 And then sometimes Mexicans will talk shit around him.

Fortune Feimster 1:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04 And, and he'll just look at them and then say something in Spanish. And they're like, "Oh, no." (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 1:08 Oh, that's the best, to have that secret weapon. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 1:10 Especially in LA.

Joe Rogan 1:12 They need to see it. No, d- play... There's a video of it.

Fortune Feimster 1:13 Does he have lipstick on?

Joe Rogan 1:15 That's what I was gonna say.

Fortune Feimster 1:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:16 Thank you. Play the video.

Fortune Feimster 1:19 I love you, Tom. I love you, Tom.

Joe Rogan 1:20 Play the video. They fucked him. He let some lady put make... I never let them put makeup on me. Never. And they always bring someone... And this is why. This is why.

Fortune Feimster 1:31 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:31 They, they made him out... And by the way, they color corrected it 'cause it was way worse than that before.

Fortune Feimster 1:35 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:36 He told me it was way worse than that. I go, "What the fuck, bro?"

Fortune Feimster 1:41 (laughs) He looks-

Joe Rogan 1:41 He's like, "I know." I go, "Dude, you can't let them do that to you."

Fortune Feimster 1:44 It looks like he kissed Cristina and then went out to do the show. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:48 He looks like a clown. He looks like a clown from the 1930s. Like one of them black and white movies. Like, look at that. That's crazy.

Fortune Feimster 1:55 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 1:55 They put lipstick on him. They put lipstick on him-

Fortune Feimster 1:58 That is...

Joe Rogan 1:58 ... and they put white makeup all over his face.

Fortune Feimster 2:01 I had that happen once.

Joe Rogan 2:02 They fucked him.

Fortune Feimster 2:02 Where... 'Cause you really can't tell when they're-

Joe Rogan 2:04 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 2:04 ... putting it on. Uh, someone made me look like a, the marionette doll.

Joe Rogan 2:08 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 2:08 With the big, red, ch- rosy cheeks. And then I... It was... I was hosting an awards show, and the whole speech is online. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:14 It's so crazy because you let someone dictate what your image is gonna be.

Fortune Feimster 2:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:18 Someone that really has no business doing that.

Fortune Feimster 2:20 No.

Joe Rogan 2:20 They just do makeup. And when someone does makeup, they wanna do makeup.

Fortune Feimster 2:24 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:24 They wanna do ya.

Fortune Feimster 2:25 But like-

Joe Rogan 2:26 Like that.

Fortune Feimster 2:26 ... this. I mean, he just needed-

Joe Rogan 2:27 Preposterous.

Fortune Feimster 2:28 ... put some ChapStick on. That's-

Joe Rogan 2:29 Ridiculous.

Fortune Feimster 2:30 That's it.

Joe Rogan 2:31 Look, that's what he looks like. This is what I always say. Like, these... I'm the only one in the UFC broadcast-

Fortune Feimster 2:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:36 ... that doesn't put makeup on too.

Fortune Feimster 2:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:38 And I'm like, "We're getting... We're, we're talking to people that are getting their heads punched in."

Fortune Feimster 2:43 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:43 Okay, literally. Joanna Jedrzejczyk, who's the former strawweight champion-

Fortune Feimster 2:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:47 ... she had a fight with this woman, uh, Zhang Weili, who is the strawweight champion-

Fortune Feimster 2:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:52 ... from China. This crazy, epic... Like, one of the best fights in history. And at the end of it, Joanna's head-

Fortune Feimster 2:58 I saw that.

Joe Rogan 2:59 ... was so sw- like a Frankenstein forehead.

Fortune Feimster 3:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:02 Imagine.

Fortune Feimster 3:02 Crazy.

Joe Rogan 3:03 Me... Yeah, look at her forehead. Now, imagine me with makeup on standing next to her.

Fortune Feimster 3:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 3:08 That would be ridiculous, right?

Fortune Feimster 3:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 3:09 I refuse.

Fortune Feimster 3:10 You're like, "Look at my foundation." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:12 Th- they're like, "Well, s- we're just gonna cut down the shine." Who gives a fuck if I'm shiny?

Fortune Feimster 3:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:17 Literally no one cares.

Fortune Feimster 3:18 Yeah. She's got a double forehead now.

Joe Rogan 3:21 It's a double triple forehead.

Fortune Feimster 3:22 She... I-

Joe Rogan 3:23 Everything's swollen.

Fortune Feimster 3:24 Is it back... Is it back down? Have you-

Joe Rogan 3:25 I don't know. She hasn't-

Fortune Feimster 3:26 ... you have any follow-up?

Joe Rogan 3:27 She hasn't taken... That's what she looks like normally. Beautiful lady.

Fortune Feimster 3:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:29 She's so tough.

Fortune Feimster 3:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:31 That lady is as tough as human beings can possibly be.

Fortune Feimster 3:34 Oh my gosh.

Joe Rogan 3:34 'Cause she, like, never even flinched.

Fortune Feimster 3:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:36 Her fucking forehead's twice the size of normal, but she didn't even flinch. Kept throwing bombs. It was amazing.

Fortune Feimster 3:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:43 Epic.

Fortune Feimster 3:43 How long did it go?

Joe Rogan 3:44 Five rounds.

Fortune Feimster 3:45 Five rounds.

Joe Rogan 3:46 25 whole minutes of chaos.

Fortune Feimster 3:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:47 Like, and it was even the whole fight. The whole fight was like back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

Fortune Feimster 3:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:53 It was amazing.

Fortune Feimster 3:54 Are p- are you guys super bummed out when people, like, throw one punch and the person falls down? (laughs) And that's it?

Joe Rogan 4:00 No. No.

Fortune Feimster 4:00 That's exciting too?

Joe Rogan 4:01 Yeah, it's exciting. It's-

Fortune Feimster 4:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:03 The sport is crazy, you know? It, it can happen that way where... Like, there was a recent fight where Donald Cerrone, um, fought Conor McGregor.

Fortune Feimster 4:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:12 And Conor... In the clinch, Conor McGregor slammed his shoulder-

Fortune Feimster 4:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:16 ... into Donald's nose and broke his nose. So they came out of the clinch. Like, seconds into the fight, his nose is bleeding.

Fortune Feimster 4:22 Geez.

Joe Rogan 4:22 And then he got head kicked and he got pummeled and, and-

Fortune Feimster 4:24 And that was it?

Joe Rogan 4:25 ... they stopped the fight in 40 seconds.

Fortune Feimster 4:26 Oh my gosh.

Joe Rogan 4:27 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 4:27 What-

Joe Rogan 4:27 And everybody was bummed out 'cause it was this huge pay-per-view event.

Fortune Feimster 4:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:30 This big deal. But that's f- part of what's crazy about this sport is it... It's the fighting in either boxing, kickboxing, or MMA is the only sport where you can end it early.

Fortune Feimster 4:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:40 Like, football goes the distance.

Fortune Feimster 4:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:42 Right?

Fortune Feimster 4:42 You know it's g- you're in for three and a half.

Joe Rogan 4:44 You got four quarters. Yeah. You-

Fortune Feimster 4:45 Four hours.

Joe Rogan 4:46 Yeah. You... Baseball goes all the innings.

Fortune Feimster 4:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:48 It's like, that's just how it goes.

Fortune Feimster 4:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:50 But fighting can end in 10 seconds.

Fortune Feimster 4:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:52 We've had fights that have ended, I think... Well, who's got the record now? It was Duane Ludwig, but...

Jamie Vernon 4:59 Masvidal took it, I think, right?

Joe Rogan 5:00 That's right. Masvidal took it.

Jamie Vernon 5:01 I think it was like eight seconds, but it was like four or five.

Joe Rogan 5:03 It's not really. I don't even think they gave it eight. I think they said it's five, but I think it's three.

Fortune Feimster 5:07 Dang. What do you do at the live event? Everyone's just like, "All right, time to go."

Joe Rogan 5:11 Well, there's 12 fights that night.

Fortune Feimster 5:12 Oh, gotcha.

Joe Rogan 5:13 So that was just one fight-

Fortune Feimster 5:14 I see.

Joe Rogan 5:15 ... out of many, many, many, many fights.

Fortune Feimster 5:16 I clearly know a lot about- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:18 Yeah. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 5:19 ... but... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:19 D- have you ever watched one live?

Fortune Feimster 5:21 Yeah. Uh, not live, but on TV.

Joe Rogan 5:23 You should go. I'll, I'll get you tickets.

Fortune Feimster 5:24 I'd love that.

Joe Rogan 5:24 You'll go crazy.

Fortune Feimster 5:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:25 It's pretty wild.

Fortune Feimster 5:26 It s- it looks so fun.

Joe Rogan 5:28 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 5:29 But-

Joe Rogan 5:29 It is pretty fun.

Fortune Feimster 5:29 ... no one's ever invited me and I'm not, you know, proactive enough to be like, "Let me get some tickets."

Joe Rogan 5:35 Now you've been invited. Now you've been invited.

Fortune Feimster 5:36 Oh.

Joe Rogan 5:36 You bring, bring your boy Tom Papa.

Fortune Feimster 5:37 I will. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:39 Yeah, he needs to go too.

Fortune Feimster 5:40 Yeah. I don't-

Joe Rogan 5:40 Bring his bread.

Fortune Feimster 5:41 Has he... I wonder if he's been to one.

Joe Rogan 5:43 I don't think he has.

Fortune Feimster 5:44 Or like-

Joe Rogan 5:45 I don't think so. I'm not, I'm trying to remember.

Fortune Feimster 5:45 Or like, "Hey, guys. We're here for the ZF fight."

Joe Rogan 5:48 Has Tom ever been to one? I don't think so.

Fortune Feimster 5:50 Probably not.

Joe Rogan 5:51 Maybe. Jamie seems like maybe.

Jamie Vernon 5:53 I can't remember. Maybe he showed up with Hannibal one time a long time ago.

Fortune Feimster 5:56 Oh.

Jamie Vernon 5:56 But I can't remember.

Joe Rogan 5:57 Oh, maybe.

Fortune Feimster 5:57 Oh, yeah. May- Tom's always up for it-

Jamie Vernon 5:59 Maybe.

Fortune Feimster 5:59 ... for anything.

Joe Rogan 6:00 Hannibal goes a lot. He's gone to... Hannibal's been to, um-

Fortune Feimster 6:03 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 6:03 ... a gang of them.

Fortune Feimster 6:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:05 Now that I think about it.Yeah. So, um-

Fortune Feimster 6:07 That's really cool.

Joe Rogan 6:08 So, you do that morning show with Tom-

Fortune Feimster 6:09 I do, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:09 ... on Sirius. You enjoy it?

Fortune Feimster 6:11 I love it, except for the 5:30 wake up.

Joe Rogan 6:13 Yeah, that's horse shit.

Fortune Feimster 6:14 I mean-

Joe Rogan 6:14 Why do, why do you guys have to do it that way?

Fortune Feimster 6:16 Ev- every comic that comes to the show is like, "Why are you waking up this early?" 'Cause we're all doing spots so late, you know?

Joe Rogan 6:21 Yeah. Well, it's... This is the new world. You don't have to do that anymore.

Fortune Feimster 6:25 Yeah. Well-

Joe Rogan 6:25 Like, this whole idea of, like, it has to be on at 8:00 AM. Ready to go.

Fortune Feimster 6:30 Right. I don't know. That's just how they set it up, you know? 7:00 to 9:00 every morning-

Joe Rogan 6:34 (sighs)

Fortune Feimster 6:34 ... Monday through Thursday. We're doing it for Netflix. Um-

Joe Rogan 6:37 That's cool.

Fortune Feimster 6:37 They have a new Sirius XM channel.

Joe Rogan 6:39 That's very cool.

Fortune Feimster 6:40 93. Um, so yeah-

Joe Rogan 6:41 They give you numbers? They tell you how many people are listening?

Fortune Feimster 6:43 They give you no information.

Joe Rogan 6:45 What the fuck, Netflix?

Fortune Feimster 6:45 You have no idea. We have no idea. We only know that people are listening 'cause they call in.

Joe Rogan 6:50 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 6:50 That's the only (laughs) way we know. So, you have... You're, you know, just talking to mics, you hope. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:55 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 6:56 You hope there's an audience. It seems like there is one-

Joe Rogan 6:58 It's kinda fun though that way.

Fortune Feimster 6:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:59 It would be kind of fun to do a show where no one could record it and, you know-

Fortune Feimster 7:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:04 ... it just goes out live and there's no recording it at all. Like, that's what radio used to be.

Fortune Feimster 7:09 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 7:09 Radio used to be... I mean, that's one of the fun things about The Howard Stern Show back in the day, 'cause it was so crazy-

Fortune Feimster 7:14 Living the moment.

Joe Rogan 7:15 ... for radio.

Fortune Feimster 7:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:16 But it was... You were hearing this, and this is the only time you were ever gonna hear it.

Fortune Feimster 7:19 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:20 But-

Fortune Feimster 7:20 I remember when his, his show was on the E! Channel.

Joe Rogan 7:22 Mm-hmm.

Fortune Feimster 7:23 I was-

Joe Rogan 7:23 That's right.

Fortune Feimster 7:23 It was, like, him and Anna Nicole Smith's show. That was, like, it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:28 (laughs) That's right, I forgot she had a show.

Fortune Feimster 7:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:31 Rest in peace.

Fortune Feimster 7:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:32 Poor Anna. She was one of the first, like... I mean, if Instagram was around, she would've been one of the first Insta hoes.

Fortune Feimster 7:40 Yeah. Like, a reality celebrity.

Joe Rogan 7:42 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 7:43 Everyone was following her life and her lawyer.

Joe Rogan 7:46 Right. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 7:48 H- Howard... His name's Howard-

Joe Rogan 7:49 J. Howard Marshall.

Fortune Feimster 7:50 Stern, I th- or-

Joe Rogan 7:51 Oh, no, no, no. Different guy.

Fortune Feimster 7:52 Wait.

Joe Rogan 7:52 Yeah, I think it is Howard Stern.

Fortune Feimster 7:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:53 Yeah, different Howard Stern. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 7:55 So, they had two Howard Sterns (laughs) on the E! Channel.

Joe Rogan 7:57 That's right.

Fortune Feimster 7:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:58 And that was post-divorce, after her husband... Well, not divorced. He died.

Fortune Feimster 8:02 The old, oh, the old guy?

Joe Rogan 8:03 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 8:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:04 That was the best cash-in ever.

Fortune Feimster 8:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:06 Her with him.

Fortune Feimster 8:07 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 8:07 It was the best cash-in ever.

Fortune Feimster 8:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:09 He was, like, 95 years old in a wheelchair, and she was a fucking bombshell. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 8:13 She's like, "Love of my life."

Joe Rogan 8:16 Oh, look at that.

Fortune Feimster 8:16 Did she get money f-

Joe Rogan 8:17 Oh, hell yeah.

Fortune Feimster 8:19 Did she end up getting money? 'Cause I know her, his kids were, like, fighting.

Joe Rogan 8:21 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 8:22 That-

Joe Rogan 8:22 They were trying to keep the money from her. But look, a deal's a deal.

Fortune Feimster 8:24 That's always a bummer, though. If you were the kid of that guy.

Joe Rogan 8:28 Well, I had a whole bit about it.

Fortune Feimster 8:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:29 They're like, "Oh, he doesn't know it's..." I go, "He's a billionaire."

Fortune Feimster 8:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:33 He's, like, 95 years old. He made a billion dollars from scratch.

Fortune Feimster 8:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:37 And my joke was, you know, like, "Don't you think he's a tad crafty?"

Fortune Feimster 8:40 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:41 "I don't think he knows what's going on." He's, he doesn't give a fuck.

Fortune Feimster 8:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:43 He doesn't have any time left.

Fortune Feimster 8:44 But, like, hi- two kids, or however many kids he has, they don't need a billion dollars.

Joe Rogan 8:49 Look at the size of his ears. That's one weird thing that happens to old people. Their ears keep growing.

Fortune Feimster 8:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:53 I'm looking forward to having giant-ass ears when I get older.

Fortune Feimster 8:55 Their face shrinks that... Maybe... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:56 I think I'm gonna get my ears reduced when I hit 150.

Fortune Feimster 8:59 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 8:59 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 9:00 (laughs) 150?

Joe Rogan 9:01 That's what my plan is.

Fortune Feimster 9:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:02 My plan is about 150, 160-

Fortune Feimster 9:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 9:04 ... I'm gonna die on the operating table getting my ears reduced.

Fortune Feimster 9:06 I'm just trying to-

Joe Rogan 9:07 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 9:08 (laughs) I'm just trying to make it to 50.

Joe Rogan 9:10 50? That's it? That's all you want out of this life?

Fortune Feimster 9:11 No, I want, I want more. I want more.

Joe Rogan 9:14 Dude.

Fortune Feimster 9:14 So...

Joe Rogan 9:15 This fucking shit. The coronavirus.

Fortune Feimster 9:16 You know?

Joe Rogan 9:16 We had a guy on yesterday talking about the coronavirus.

Fortune Feimster 9:19 Oh, man. I heard.

Joe Rogan 9:20 It's not good.

Fortune Feimster 9:20 I heard that he was in here.

Joe Rogan 9:21 It's nerve-wracking.

Fortune Feimster 9:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:22 It's not good.

Fortune Feimster 9:23 Well, 'cause, you know, you don't really know what's coming.

Joe Rogan 9:27 Yeah. Well, here's the thing. There, there's a whole bunch of other diseases that we discussed too-

Fortune Feimster 9:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:31 ... like chronic wasting disease, and there's a lot of shit that's, uh, on th- the table that could happen to people.

Fortune Feimster 9:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:37 There's all these pandemics that are possible.

Fortune Feimster 9:40 Well, aren't there, like, uh, because certain things are melting, certain diseases that are sort of, like, being uncovered from...

Joe Rogan 9:48 Yeah, that's a theory. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 9:49 Yeah, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 9:50 Yeah, there's a theory that the permafrost is going to release when it, when it gets melted.

Fortune Feimster 9:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:55 It's gonna release some ancient bacteria that we don't have an immune, immunity to.

Fortune Feimster 9:59 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 10:00 It's possible. It's all possible, you know?

Fortune Feimster 10:02 (laughs) It's good times right now.

Joe Rogan 10:03 There's something that happens with any, any time you have overpopulation.

Fortune Feimster 10:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:08 And one of the things that happens is nature starts to try to course correct.

Fortune Feimster 10:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:12 Nature's like, "There's too many."

Fortune Feimster 10:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:14 "There's too many. Let's do something." And it happens with animals. They get diseases and a bunch of them die off.

Fortune Feimster 10:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:19 And it, you know... It happens with people as well. I mean, it's not a coincidence that this disease came out of China, which is heavily overpopulated-

Fortune Feimster 10:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:28 ... which has these... He was, uh, talking to us in depth about these wet markets that they have in China, where they have all these animals that they sell-

Fortune Feimster 10:34 Oh, right. Yeah. All-

Joe Rogan 10:35 ... and they're all just laying around.

Fortune Feimster 10:37 Like-

Joe Rogan 10:37 What does he... He said there was, like, chickens, and what was above the chickens? It was civets?

Jamie Vernon 10:43 I think the chickens were up with those. They were, like, dropping their shit on them or something.

Joe Rogan 10:46 And there was civets below, right?

Jamie Vernon 10:47 Yeah, I think so.

Joe Rogan 10:48 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 10:48 Hmm, right.

Jamie Vernon 10:48 And there was some weird combination with that, right?

Joe Rogan 10:50 Right. And he was saying, like, with crossover diseases, that's like a test tube. Like, you're literally doing experiments.

Fortune Feimster 10:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:56 But he's like, "The perfect test tube, perfect environment for creating a new disease."

Fortune Feimster 11:01 Yeah. As we've seen. This-

Joe Rogan 11:03 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 11:03 Wasn't this started from bats?

Joe Rogan 11:05 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 11:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:05 Some people are eating bats over there. Bro.

Fortune Feimster 11:08 Ooh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:10 Bro.

Fortune Feimster 11:12 I'm a sweet and sour chicken gal myself. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:15 (laughs) Sweet and sour chicken sounds good right now.

Fortune Feimster 11:17 Ugh, sweet and sour bat.

Joe Rogan 11:18 Bats is what you eat when you're starving to death, you know?

Fortune Feimster 11:20 I mean, yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan 11:22 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 11:22 Slim pickings in certain places.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Well, China, again, has a fucking billion people.

Fortune Feimster 11:27 It's-

Joe Rogan 11:27 And when you see the stuff that they're eating over there... There was a salamander that they had-

Fortune Feimster 11:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:31 ... that was like, I mean, like the size of your thigh bone.

Fortune Feimster 11:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:35 It was huge. Enormous fucking salamander, and they're holding it down with a meat cleaver.

Fortune Feimster 11:39 Yeah. They're like-

Joe Rogan 11:39 About to hack up this salamander.

Fortune Feimster 11:41 They're like, "It's all food."

Joe Rogan 11:42 Look at that bat.

Fortune Feimster 11:43 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 11:44 Bro. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 11:46 That's gnarly.

Joe Rogan 11:47 And they got the wings spread to let you know it's a good one. Look.

Fortune Feimster 11:49 That's a big, that's a big bat.

Joe Rogan 11:50 That's a juicy bat. A lot of meat there.

Fortune Feimster 11:52 Do we have bats-

Joe Rogan 11:53 That's lunch.

Fortune Feimster 11:53 Do we have bats that big?

Joe Rogan 11:55 I don't-

Fortune Feimster 11:55 Uh.

Joe Rogan 11:55 I don't believe we do.

Fortune Feimster 11:56 I feel like they were always, like, yay big.

Joe Rogan 11:58 In America, if we had bats that big, we'd whack them. We'd be like, "That's enough."

Fortune Feimster 12:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:02 "That's enough of you, you fucks."

Fortune Feimster 12:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:03 "Back to the Stone Age."

Fortune Feimster 12:04 I always saw bats when I, we had swim meets.

Joe Rogan 12:07 Look at all the, look at those fucking things.

Fortune Feimster 12:09 Oh.

Joe Rogan 12:09 Look at the mouths on those things. Open that up. What is that?

Fortune Feimster 12:12 Oh.

Joe Rogan 12:13 What the fuck is those, the little werewolves?

Fortune Feimster 12:15 That is crazy.

Joe Rogan 12:16 Bro, what are the mouths on those thing?

Fortune Feimster 12:19 Yeah, there's, like, sharp teeth.

Jamie Vernon 12:20 Are those bats with the wings t- chopped off, maybe?

Joe Rogan 12:23 (gasps) No way.

Fortune Feimster 12:24 Uh-

Joe Rogan 12:24 Is it?

Fortune Feimster 12:24 Oh, man.

Jamie Vernon 12:25 That's what it looks like to me. That gray hair looks like a testicle-

Fortune Feimster 12:26 I guess I've never seen a bat up close.

Jamie Vernon 12:28 So there's no, like, no arm or something. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 12:30 Whoa, dude, I think you're right.

Jamie Vernon 12:32 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 12:32 Find out what that is.

Fortune Feimster 12:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:33 I need to know. Those are huge.

Fortune Feimster 12:35 Well, th- clearly, they're popular, 'cause that's a lot of bats for sale.

Joe Rogan 12:39 (sighs) I wonder if they're delicious. Imagine we're missing out.

Fortune Feimster 12:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:41 Oh, those are bats. Those are bats.

Jamie Vernon 12:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:43 They are bats. Oh, God, that is what they look like.

Fortune Feimster 12:45 Oh, what do they do with the wings?

Joe Rogan 12:46 Look at the fucking teeth on those monsters.

Fortune Feimster 12:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:49 Imagine if they were, like, the size of a horse, flying around. (neighing)

Fortune Feimster 12:52 (laughs) A dragon.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 12:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:54 That is a dragon.

Fortune Feimster 12:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:55 Look at the teeth on those fuckers. It doesn't even look real.

Fortune Feimster 12:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:59 I like how when they die, their mouths are open like they're still trying to bite you.

Fortune Feimster 13:02 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Vernon 13:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:03 Just to let you know, you gotta be hungry as fuck.

Fortune Feimster 13:05 Yeah. I'ma, I'ma haunt you.

Joe Rogan 13:05 Where is that? Did you say that was in Indonesia? Is that what it said?

Jamie Vernon 13:08 Yeah. I just typed in "bats" w- in the wet markets so we could see what it looks like, but...

Joe Rogan 13:13 (burping) My dog threw up in my, uh, car today, and I caught it in a coffee cup.

Fortune Feimster 13:17 Oh. Wow, that's impressive.

Joe Rogan 13:19 Well, he was sitting in the front seat. And, uh, sometimes, he gets sick.

Fortune Feimster 13:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:22 Especially when he just eats.

Fortune Feimster 13:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:24 And, uh, I saw the... (burping)

Fortune Feimster 13:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:27 (burping) They start moving, and I just-

Fortune Feimster 13:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:29 ... put a coffee cup right, right where his mouth is while I was driving. Bah.

Fortune Feimster 13:33 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 13:33 He filled the coffee cup up.

Fortune Feimster 13:34 Yeah, I have a little dog who will just throw up out of nowhere. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:38 (laughs) Dogs throw up.

Fortune Feimster 13:39 But they do give you warning-

Joe Rogan 13:40 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 13:40 ... which is nice. We always grab them and-

Joe Rogan 13:42 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 13:42 ... (laughs) you know, pull them off the couch.

Joe Rogan 13:44 Well, when you're driving, you know-

Fortune Feimster 13:46 I mean-

Joe Rogan 13:47 ... fortunate thing is he's sitting right next to me in the front seat.

Fortune Feimster 13:49 Yeah. He's so cute.

Joe Rogan 13:50 He's adorable, isn't he?

Fortune Feimster 13:51 That's a good dog.

Joe Rogan 13:52 He's a sweetie pie.

Fortune Feimster 13:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:54 Gotta love that dog. He's a... I've never had a golden retriever before.

Fortune Feimster 13:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:57 That's my first one, but... They're, like, the best dogs ever.

Fortune Feimster 14:00 That's, like, a classic dog.

Joe Rogan 14:01 Yeah, they're so sweet.

Fortune Feimster 14:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:03 They just-

Fortune Feimster 14:04 Loyal.

Joe Rogan 14:04 They just want love.

Fortune Feimster 14:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:05 That's all they want, you know?

Fortune Feimster 14:06 Totally.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Just want to hang out with you and give you kisses and go on walks and shit.

Fortune Feimster 14:10 Yeah. My dogs are, like, six and a half pounds. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:12 What are they? What do you have?

Fortune Feimster 14:13 Well, one's a Pomeranian, uh, it's a little guy, and then-

Joe Rogan 14:15 Oh, that's a cute little dog.

Fortune Feimster 14:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:16 But they're a l- little yappy.

Fortune Feimster 14:18 They are, but we got one that is not yappy.

Joe Rogan 14:21 Really?

Fortune Feimster 14:21 Yeah. And-

Joe Rogan 14:22 You got lucky.

Fortune Feimster 14:22 We got a... We hit the jackpot. And then the other one's a, like, terrier-Chihuahua mix. She's, like, eight pounds.

Joe Rogan 14:28 Oh, wow.

Fortune Feimster 14:28 But they guard our house like (laughs) they're gonna-

Joe Rogan 14:32 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 14:32 ... cause some damage. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:34 Well, they're good guards, in that they let you know something's up.

Fortune Feimster 14:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:37 Like, if someone's out there, they're... So if you've got a gun-

Fortune Feimster 14:40 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:40 ... that's probably the best way, 'cause m-

Fortune Feimster 14:42 I don't have a, I don't have a gun.

Joe Rogan 14:43 You don't have a gun?

Fortune Feimster 14:44 No.

Joe Rogan 14:44 You want one?

Fortune Feimster 14:45 I don't know. I, I want to, I would want to learn how to use it first.

Joe Rogan 14:48 Oh, for sure, you should learn how to use it.

Fortune Feimster 14:49 'Cause I don't want to just have one. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:51 Would you be interested in that?

Fortune Feimster 14:52 Someone would be in trouble. I would... I've been, I've been to shooting ranges, for sure.

Joe Rogan 14:55 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 14:55 I mean, I'm from North Carolina. That's part of, you know-

Joe Rogan 14:58 Part of the culture.

Fortune Feimster 14:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:59 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 15:00 And, uh, I went to, uh, randomly Luke Bryan's house and shot guns for the first time. It was-

Joe Rogan 15:07 He's buddies with my f- my buddy Cam Hanes.

Fortune Feimster 15:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:10 They're bud- they're real close. I've never met him, though.

Fortune Feimster 15:11 He's a cool dude. I went-

Joe Rogan 15:12 I heard he's the best.

Fortune Feimster 15:13 ... I went to, like, a charity event they had at their house, and it's so nice. But he had skeet shooting. I didn't get to do that, uh, but then they had some, like, rifle shooting, and-

Joe Rogan 15:23 That's the way to live.

Fortune Feimster 15:24 ... and then the long, um...

Joe Rogan 15:26 Rifle?

Fortune Feimster 15:27 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:28 (laughs) The long thing, the-

Fortune Feimster 15:31 You know, the long thingy.

Joe Rogan 15:32 ... the, the, the barrel part.

Fortune Feimster 15:33 Here's what's crazy, though. My partner, uh, she acted like, "Oh, what's this? It's a rifle? Hmm. How do you use one of these?" And then, there's a, a five target. She goes, pow, pow, pow, pow.

Joe Rogan 15:46 Whoa.

Fortune Feimster 15:46 Hits every single one of them, and I was like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 15:50 She's sandbagging. She's lying to you.

Fortune Feimster 15:51 She's, she's lying to me.

Joe Rogan 15:52 Yeah, that bitch has been practicing. While you're at work, she's out there shooting.

Fortune Feimster 15:56 So if you, (laughs) if you see me on Dateline-

Joe Rogan 15:57 Uh-oh.

Fortune Feimster 15:58 ... you- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:59 I'll know.

Fortune Feimster 15:59 ... you heard it here first. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:01 I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll let everybody know.

Fortune Feimster 16:02 Yeah, thank you.

Joe Rogan 16:03 That, that bitch is sandbagging.

Fortune Feimster 16:04 Man.

Joe Rogan 16:05 She's got a Punisher T-shirt hidden away in her closet.

Fortune Feimster 16:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:08 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 16:08 Yeah. But, you know, it's... Yeah. We- I would wanna... I would lear- want to learn the gun safety, how to use it better.

Joe Rogan 16:14 Yeah. That's pretty straightforward though.

Fortune Feimster 16:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:16 I mean, they could teach you that in just a, a few minutes.

Fortune Feimster 16:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:19 Long as you're paying attention.

Fortune Feimster 16:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:21 Yeah. Just, you know, make sure the safety's on. Make sure there's nothing in the chamber. Keep your finger off the trigger.

Fortune Feimster 16:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:26 Don't ever point it at somebody, even when it's not loaded.

Fortune Feimster 16:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:29 That's where... When you hear about people doing really stupid things, it's just... That's what it is. It's just not respecting gun safety.

Fortune Feimster 16:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:35 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 16:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:36 Was that some Instagrammer or T- TikToker? Some guy shot his fucking computer accidentally.

Jamie Vernon 16:42 Yeah, I saw this. It was on... The guy on Twitch did it live-

Joe Rogan 16:44 Twitch.

Jamie Vernon 16:44 ... on, like, a streaming thing.

Fortune Feimster 16:45 Oh, geez.

Joe Rogan 16:45 Yeah, moron. He thought it was unloaded, and he, uh, pulled the trigger on his computer and-

Fortune Feimster 16:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:50 ... fucking shot around through his computer.

Fortune Feimster 16:52 It's, like, videotaping him and then disappears. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:55 (laughs) Silly bitch.

Fortune Feimster 16:57 Yeah. Yeah, my, uh, my brother's in the military, so he's, uh...

Joe Rogan 17:02 Here it is. Let's watch this guy. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 17:08 Try again? Maybe. Nope.

Joe Rogan 17:10 Did they remove it?

Fortune Feimster 17:11 Oh...

Jamie Vernon 17:12 Sometimes, when you hit that "video" to play on-

Joe Rogan 17:14 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Vernon 17:14 ... Twitter, it doesn't play the first time. And you have to-

Joe Rogan 17:16 You mean, when it's embedded in someone's-

Jamie Vernon 17:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:18 Yeah, when it's embedded in someone's page.

Jamie Vernon 17:19 Oh, yeah. No, it is taken down.

Fortune Feimster 17:21 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 17:21 Oh. Unavailable. You cannot see this. This is too real.

Fortune Feimster 17:24 How are they gonna take that down?

Jamie Vernon 17:26 Too risky.

Joe Rogan 17:26 It's too real, man.

Fortune Feimster 17:27 We don't want, we don't want you to know that that happens. Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:32 He shot his, his, uh, Yeti cup? Is that what it is? Oh, he did. That's-

Jamie Vernon 17:36 He shot a bunch of things. It was on his, like, desk.

Fortune Feimster 17:38 (laughs) I was about to say.

Jamie Vernon 17:39 Went right through his computer screen, I think.

Fortune Feimster 17:43 His, like, ricocheted.

Jamie Vernon 17:44 Mm-hmm. Whatever.

Fortune Feimster 17:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:46 What happens to someone like that? They take their gun away?

Jamie Vernon 17:50 Oh, y-

Joe Rogan 17:50 They should.

Jamie Vernon 17:51 It's against the law, I think, right? 'Cause you, like...

Joe Rogan 17:53 You fire it off in your house?

Jamie Vernon 17:55 ... discharge it inside on accident or something like that, or, like, you can get fined, I think.

Joe Rogan 17:57 Yeah, you can't get fined if you shoot a b- an intruder. If you sh- shoot a person, you're all right.

Fortune Feimster 18:02 (laughs) Oh, that's okay.

Joe Rogan 18:03 But if you shoot your computer...

Fortune Feimster 18:05 I was gonna say-

Joe Rogan 18:05 If you shoot a person, like in Texas, you can kinda ... You could shoot ... I, I remember a story where a guy was repoing a guy's car. A guy hadn't made payments on his truck, I believe.

Fortune Feimster 18:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:15 And the repo guy was opening up the door and, you know, with the Slim Jim and getting into his car-

Fortune Feimster 18:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:21 ... and the guy reached out the window with a rifle and shot the guy in his driveway.

Fortune Feimster 18:25 Dang.

Joe Rogan 18:25 Yeah. And they didn't charge him.

Fortune Feimster 18:27 They ... Really?

Joe Rogan 18:28 Yeah, they said, "Someone was breaking into your h- your car, as far as you knew."

Fortune Feimster 18:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:31 "It's on your property."

Fortune Feimster 18:32 Okay.

Joe Rogan 18:33 But I mean, he killed this fucking repo guy.

Fortune Feimster 18:35 Man.

Joe Rogan 18:36 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 18:36 But then you hear stories about people getting sued, like, if they shoot somebody that was trying to break into their house.

Joe Rogan 18:43 That's in other c- other states.

Fortune Feimster 18:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:45 In other states, yeah, you can get sued.

Fortune Feimster 18:47 I mean, which is crazy.

Joe Rogan 18:48 That's crazy.

Fortune Feimster 18:48 Somebody's breaking into your house-

Joe Rogan 18:50 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 18:51 ... y- your kinda, you know, back's against the wall.

Joe Rogan 18:54 Well, you, you're supposed to assume that they're not gonna hurt you when-

Fortune Feimster 18:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:58 ... they've already made the commitment to enter your home-

Fortune Feimster 19:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:01 ... by force.

Fortune Feimster 19:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:03 They're already doing something insanely risky.

Fortune Feimster 19:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:06 The idea that you're supposed to, somehow or another, like, warn them as much as you can and then ... I mean, (sighs) I gue- ... I mean, I kinda get it. Like, what if it's a teenage kid that doesn't know any better-

Fortune Feimster 19:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:20 ... and they're just stupid and they're with their friends and they think it's funny to rob someone's house?

Fortune Feimster 19:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:25 I don't know. It's just ... It's just ... It, it's ... It's both ways, right? It's like, it's horrible that people have guns and they can just shoot you and kill you.

Fortune Feimster 19:37 Mm-hmm. Right.

Joe Rogan 19:37 But it's also horrible if you can't have a gun to protect yourself from someone who wants to kill you.

Fortune Feimster 19:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:41 Both things are horrible.

Fortune Feimster 19:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:42 If no one had guns, the world would be a way better place, but then we'd be at the mercy of, like, giant people.

Fortune Feimster 19:46 That's true. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:47 They would just run everything. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 19:49 (laughs) So it's the equalizer. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:52 Yeah, guys like The Mountain from the Game of Thrones-

Fortune Feimster 19:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:55 ... he would just be the king of the world. Everybody would have to shut the fuck up.

Fortune Feimster 19:57 Yeah, you're like-

Joe Rogan 19:57 If there was no weapons-

Fortune Feimster 19:58 ... "W- what are we gonna do?"

Joe Rogan 20:00 I mean, that's what it was before people figured out sticks and spears and rocks and stuff.

Fortune Feimster 20:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:04 Like, the biggest humans just fucking ran shit-

Fortune Feimster 20:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:06 ... and we just, like, let 'em.

Fortune Feimster 20:08 Yeah. Well-

Joe Rogan 20:08 And then someone figured out a bow and arrow. Like, that motherfucker, when he gets close, it's a problem.

Fortune Feimster 20:12 Yeah. Get him in the-

Joe Rogan 20:13 But if he got on the way-

Fortune Feimster 20:14 Get him in the eye. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:14 ... on the way to me, I'm gonna fucking whack him-

Fortune Feimster 20:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:16 ... and then I'm gonna start running shit.

Fortune Feimster 20:18 I like bow and arrows.

Joe Rogan 20:19 You do?

Fortune Feimster 20:19 That's fun.

Joe Rogan 20:21 You've shot that?

Fortune Feimster 20:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:22 Yeah?

Fortune Feimster 20:22 Not with ... Not the gun. The old-

Joe Rogan 20:24 Oh, crossbow?

Fortune Feimster 20:24 The old school. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:25 See, the g- that's what a crossbow is. It's a shitty gun.

Fortune Feimster 20:28 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:28 It's not really a bow. Like, people call it a bow. Like, come on, that's not a bow.

Fortune Feimster 20:32 That's true.

Joe Rogan 20:33 It's got a trigger, you gotta scope. Get the fuck out of here.

Fortune Feimster 20:35 Yeah. Daryl, Walking Dead.

Joe Rogan 20:37 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 20:37 Pa-pa-pow.

Joe Rogan 20:38 That Walking Dead show is ridiculous.

Fortune Feimster 20:39 He never runs out of arrows. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:41 Right. Never runs out of arrows and he never gets a pass through.

Fortune Feimster 20:43 It's been, like, 16 years-

Joe Rogan 20:45 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 20:45 ... he's been in the zombie apocalypse. These zombies-

Joe Rogan 20:47 These zombies-

Fortune Feimster 20:47 Unlimited amounts.

Joe Rogan 20:48 ... are so soft, you could walk up to 'em, stab 'em in the skull-

Fortune Feimster 20:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:51 ... and your knife will go through their skull, no problem.

Fortune Feimster 20:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:54 Try stabbing someone in the skull. That shit's hard.

Fortune Feimster 20:56 I have never.

Joe Rogan 20:57 It bounces off.

Fortune Feimster 20:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:59 It's not easy.

Fortune Feimster 21:00 You could go, "Just try it." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:01 Just, it's not easy. See, you have to be really fucking strong and you gotta hit a good spot. You gotta hit a soft spot, like a temple.

Fortune Feimster 21:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:07 But, like, he just goes right through 'em with that stupid arrow, but then it never passes through.

Fortune Feimster 21:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:13 Never goes right through.

Fortune Feimster 21:14 Then he just grabs it-

Joe Rogan 21:15 Yeah, and he's ready to go again.

Fortune Feimster 21:16 Like, no, no problem. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:17 Not only that, he doesn't even have, like, broadheads on him. He's got field tips.

Fortune Feimster 21:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:22 Those, those tips on his arrow, they're like little tiny ... They'll make a pencil hold.

Fortune Feimster 21:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:26 Like, what that is, is for practice.

Fortune Feimster 21:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:28 He's got practice tips on his fucking arrows. He doesn't even have broadheads.

Fortune Feimster 21:31 (laughs) There's some holes in these plots. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:33 A lot of holes. That show, I used to love. I loved that show for the first few seasons.

Fortune Feimster 21:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:38 It was a great show for, like, the first two or three seasons.

Fortune Feimster 21:41 I watched it up until, uh, Rick, the main guy, left.

Joe Rogan 21:45 Oh, I didn't get that far.

Fortune Feimster 21:47 And ... Well, spoiler alert. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:48 Yeah, when they killed Glenn, I was like, "I'm done." The day, the day they killed Glenn-

Fortune Feimster 21:52 That was a, that was bummer.

Joe Rogan 21:54 It was the way they did it too.

Fortune Feimster 21:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:55 It was like, what? And you guys got no respect for your main characters.

Fortune Feimster 21:58 Ah, sm- smashing-

Joe Rogan 21:59 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 21:59 ... his head in.

Joe Rogan 22:01 And I saw the dude who played Glenn, I saw him out somewhere. I wanna say it was at a UFC.

Fortune Feimster 22:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:07 It might've been at a UFC, in the crowd. He was somewhere in the crowd. But he looked depressed.

Fortune Feimster 22:13 Oh, like he was bummed out about his character-

Joe Rogan 22:15 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 22:15 ... getting killed that way?

Joe Rogan 22:16 I mean, could you imagine if you're on a, a show and you're one of the big players on a show?

Fortune Feimster 22:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:21 I mean, he was one of the main guys.

Fortune Feimster 22:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:23 And one of the more interesting guys, and he's on this show for five, six years or whatever it was.

Fortune Feimster 22:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:28 And then one day, they just baseball bat you, this new guy.

Fortune Feimster 22:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:32 Baseball bats you. So not only does this new guy on the show, who's getting all the heat-

Fortune Feimster 22:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:36 ... but now he baseball bats you to death.

Fortune Feimster 22:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:39 And then you're just out there in public and probably people are, like, mocking you on social media. If you're not smart, you read that shit-

Fortune Feimster 22:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:45 ... and you feel all bummed out.

Fortune Feimster 22:46 And that was at the height of its success. You're like-

Joe Rogan 22:48 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 22:48 ... "You're gonna go out now?"

Joe Rogan 22:50 I know, right?

Fortune Feimster 22:50 Like, you can't wait til Rick leaves? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:52 Yeah. Well, once Rick left, it's dead, right? I mean-

Fortune Feimster 22:55 I mean, they're j- they've kept it going, but I haven't-

Joe Rogan 22:58 Who's on it now?

Fortune Feimster 22:59 Uh ...

Joe Rogan 22:59 Is the chick with the sword still there?

Fortune Feimster 23:01 Uh, she was, but she's leaving soon.

Joe Rogan 23:03 All right.

Fortune Feimster 23:03 Didn't like what he got.

Joe Rogan 23:04 He got nothing?

Fortune Feimster 23:05 'Cause his son's gone too. Rick's son, Carl. Carl.

Joe Rogan 23:09 Carl.

Fortune Feimster 23:10 Carl. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:10 Carl. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 23:12 Uh, my buddy, uh, Josh McDermitt's on there. He's a s-

Joe Rogan 23:15 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 23:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:16 I know Josh real well.

Fortune Feimster 23:17 He's, uh, Eugene.

Joe Rogan 23:18 Yeah. Josh was on the podcast, uh, like early on the show.

Fortune Feimster 23:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:22 Like early. And we were like, "Dude, I can't believe you're on the fucking Walking Dead," 'cause-

Fortune Feimster 23:26 I know.

Joe Rogan 23:27 ... I knew Josh from way back in the day. Josh worked with me at the Tempe Improv.

Fortune Feimster 23:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:34 He was, uh, doing an open mic contest, I think on Thursday, on Wednesday or Thursday, and then we went ... We got in there early 'cause we had to do radio back then.

Fortune Feimster 23:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:45 And Josh was on stage and he was really funny and I said, "Hey, man, you wanna work with us all week?"

Fortune Feimster 23:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:49 And he's like, "Fuck yeah." And so he worked with us all week.

Fortune Feimster 23:51 Oh, that's awesome. He's a good guy.

Joe Rogan 23:52 Yeah, really good guy.

Fortune Feimster 23:53 And now, a lot of people-

Joe Rogan 23:54 Funny dude.

Fortune Feimster 23:55 Yeah, a lot of people don't know he started in ... I mean, that's his thing, he does standup, comedian.

Joe Rogan 23:58 Well, is he still doing standup?

Fortune Feimster 24:00 Not much. Not much. He-

Joe Rogan 24:01 That sucks.

Fortune Feimster 24:02 Yeah, he ... Because he has to be in Atlanta so much. But he did, like, a-

Joe Rogan 24:06 Why does he have to stay in Atlanta?

Fortune Feimster 24:06 ... he did, like, a play in New York.

Joe Rogan 24:10 Ew.

Fortune Feimster 24:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:11 (laughs) Ew.

Fortune Feimster 24:11 Ew. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:11 Yeah, there he is. He could play Bill Hicks in a movie.

Fortune Feimster 24:14 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:14 If they ever do a Bill Hicks movie, especially with that haircut that they gave him.

Fortune Feimster 24:17 He'd be, he'd be good at ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:18 Oh, he'd be fucking perfect.

Fortune Feimster 24:20 But he, he kinda went off the radar a little bit 'cause, you know, the, the fans are so fanatical that, that he w- it was just, like, a lot on Instagram and social media and it was too much.

Joe Rogan 24:31 Hmm.

Fortune Feimster 24:31 And he just went off all that stuff.

Joe Rogan 24:33 Oh, did he really?

Fortune Feimster 24:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:35 That's not good once you're done, though.

Fortune Feimster 24:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:37 You need so-

Fortune Feimster 24:38 I know. I was like, "You might need to come back on." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:40 Yeah, once you start doing the fucking improv again-

Fortune Feimster 24:42 Yeah, so-

Joe Rogan 24:42 ... like, you're gonna need that shit.

Fortune Feimster 24:44 Unless-

Joe Rogan 24:44 Unless he's just decided he's gonna be an actor now.

Fortune Feimster 24:46 Yeah, he might, 'cause he really loves the acting. But I remember he couldn't tell anybody that he had gotten the show.

Joe Rogan 24:51 Yeah, I remember that too.

Fortune Feimster 24:52 And suddenly, he had a mullet.

Joe Rogan 24:53 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 24:53 And we're like ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:55 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 24:55 I mean, not, uh, not that I'm one to, like, you know, criticize someone's hair, but I'm like, "Dude, what are you-"

Joe Rogan 25:01 What are you doing?

Fortune Feimster 25:01 ... "what, what are you doing?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:02 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 25:03 This was before Theo made the mullet cool.

Joe Rogan 25:05 He kinda did, but not really.

Fortune Feimster 25:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:07 It's really just a punchline. Um, what-

Fortune Feimster 25:10 He owns it, though.

Joe Rogan 25:11 He owns it. He lives it. He is it. He embodies it.

Fortune Feimster 25:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:15 Is, um, is ... But it didn't ... With Josh's mullet, isn't it ... Um, the hair is, like, glued on though, right? It's like some crazy-

Fortune Feimster 25:22 I think-

Joe Rogan 25:22 ... wig thing.

Fortune Feimster 25:22 They might put some pieces, but he-

Joe Rogan 25:24 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 25:24 ... grew it out and dyed it dark.

Joe Rogan 25:26 Wow.

Fortune Feimster 25:27 And then he, uh ... Then I was at a wedding with him when the announcement came out.

Joe Rogan 25:33 Look at him. Look at him.

Fortune Feimster 25:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:34 Look at that sexy bitch.

Fortune Feimster 25:34 I think that's his hair.

Joe Rogan 25:36 I don't know about the top part.

Fortune Feimster 25:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:38 I think they glue a lot in there.

Fortune Feimster 25:40 They might.

Joe Rogan 25:40 Looks good though.

Fortune Feimster 25:41 Give em- give them some extensions. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:42 He can, he can rock that shit. Look at the upper left-hand corner, that one where your cursor's at.

Fortune Feimster 25:46 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 25:46 That looks good. That's like a hot dude from the '80s.

Fortune Feimster 25:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:50 You know? Like a dude who just pulls up in a Trans Am.

Fortune Feimster 25:53 That's right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:54 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 25:54 You're like, "That's, that's who I wanna be with. That guy."

Joe Rogan 25:58 (laughs) With a ... One of those, uh, gold chains.

Fortune Feimster 26:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:00 What are those f- heather? What are they called? What's those f- flat gold chains called? You know what I'm talking about? I wanna say, like, heather cut or something.

Fortune Feimster 26:08 Oh, um, I think my da- (laughs) I think my dad had one. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:10 (laughs) Of course, he did.

Fortune Feimster 26:12 He was going through a midlife crisis, right?

Joe Rogan 26:14 Got himself a gold chain. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 26:15 You have a gold ch- ... Any o- anytime a guy would show up with a, a gold chain, and you're like, "Uh, are you ... What are you up to?"

Joe Rogan 26:22 Some dudes can pull it off.

Fortune Feimster 26:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:23 Black guys can pull it off.

Fortune Feimster 26:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:25 Yeah, there's something about, uh, white dudes with more than one gold chain-

Fortune Feimster 26:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:29 ... that's really atrocious.

Fortune Feimster 26:30 I'll tell you who couldn't pull it off.

Joe Rogan 26:31 Who?

Fortune Feimster 26:31 My dad. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:35 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 26:35 My mom's just like, "Get outta here."

Joe Rogan 26:37 It's like when guys, outta nowhere, start wearing a bunch of rings.

Fortune Feimster 26:41 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:43 Like skull rings, those big pewter or silver rings.

Fortune Feimster 26:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:47 Yeah, you can't do that.

Fortune Feimster 26:48 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 26:48 Either you used to do that, and you don't anymore, or-

Fortune Feimster 26:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:51 ... you just don't.

Fortune Feimster 26:51 Yeah, you, you can't just start it.

Joe Rogan 26:53 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 26:53 Or a thumb ring-

Joe Rogan 26:55 Right.

Fortune Feimster 26:55 ... out of nowhere.

Joe Rogan 26:56 Yeah. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 26:57 You're like, "What's going on with you?"

Joe Rogan 26:59 Yeah, when I first m- met Bourdain, he had a thumb ring.

Fortune Feimster 27:01 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 27:01 And I'm like, "What are you doing, man?"

Fortune Feimster 27:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:03 "What's up with that thumb ring?"

Fortune Feimster 27:04 "What's up with that ..." He-

Joe Rogan 27:05 And he's like, "I'm too old for this thing," and he, he abandoned it.

Fortune Feimster 27:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:08 He abandoned it after a while.

Fortune Feimster 27:09 He ... Maybe he thought it would catch on, like, "Oh, if I wear a thumb ring..."

Joe Rogan 27:12 I think it was kinda cool for a little bit.

Fortune Feimster 27:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:15 You know?

Fortune Feimster 27:15 You don't see it much.

Joe Rogan 27:16 No.

Fortune Feimster 27:17 I don't see a thumb ring.

Joe Rogan 27:18 It is weird that we decide, like, this fr- this finger's fine.

Fortune Feimster 27:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:21 This finger's fine.

Fortune Feimster 27:22 This is an acceptable ring finger.

Joe Rogan 27:23 Yeah, but the thumb is like, "What are you doing, stupid?"

Fortune Feimster 27:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:27 (laughs) Or a pinky ring, like, "What are you, in the mafia?"

Fortune Feimster 27:29 Oh, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:29 "Bro, what are you in the mafia?"

Fortune Feimster 27:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:31 Joey Diaz has a, uh, American Indian pinky ring that he wears.

Fortune Feimster 27:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:35 And you know why he wears it? 'Cause he can't get it off.

Fortune Feimster 27:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:37 He put it on, and he gained weight-

Fortune Feimster 27:39 That-

Joe Rogan 27:39 ... and it stuck forever.

Fortune Feimster 27:40 ... that sounds about right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:41 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 27:41 He's like, "Well, what am I gonna do?"

Joe Rogan 27:43 "What the fuck am I gonna do, cocksucker?"

Fortune Feimster 27:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:45 I'm sure it'll come off. I'm just sh- I'm just joking. But I think ... I always wonder if that's what it is, 'cause I always see him with that fucking ring on.

Fortune Feimster 27:50 Well, now that everybody's w- having to wash their hands, maybe it'll slip off. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:53 Oh, no, it doesn't help. This guy-

Fortune Feimster 27:55 It's not helping?

Joe Rogan 27:55 No, um, Michael Osterholm was saying it's not, it's not gonna help you.

Fortune Feimster 27:58 Ah, come on.

Joe Rogan 27:59 No, it's airborne. It's airborne. It's in the air, the people breathing, coughing. You're around people. If you're close to people-

Fortune Feimster 28:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:05 ... and they're breathing on you, you're gonna get it.

Fortune Feimster 28:06 Dang.

Joe Rogan 28:06 It's touches. If you touch things, you're gonna get it too, though. I mean, maybe it'll help a little bit if you wash your hands a lot.

Fortune Feimster 28:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:13 But it's, it's ... You know, crowded places is where it's gonna be an issue. Pearl Jam apparently just canceled all their gigs-

Fortune Feimster 28:19 I saw that.

Joe Rogan 28:19 ... up until late April, and, uh, they were playing Madison motherfucking Square Garden.

Fortune Feimster 28:23 Whew.

Joe Rogan 28:23 They canceled that. Yeah, they canceled some big gigs.

Fortune Feimster 28:26 Yeah, I know my tour, my tour's starting, and I'm like, "Really? (laughs) Come on."

Joe Rogan 28:30 Everybody's tour.

Fortune Feimster 28:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:31 I've been on these, uh, text threads with all my friends, and like, "Are you canceling any dates?" Like, "What are you hearing?"

Fortune Feimster 28:35 I think everybody's kinda wait- ... Like, comic-wise, no one's canceled, I don't think. Like, uh-

Joe Rogan 28:40 Mm-hmm.

Fortune Feimster 28:40 ... I haven't seen comics canceling. So, maybe everybody's kinda waiting to see ... 'Cause it's almost like a ripple effect.

Joe Rogan 28:46 Mm-hmm.

Fortune Feimster 28:46 Once one goes, you're like, "Oh, here goes another one. Here goes another one."

Joe Rogan 28:49 Right, you feel like you have to.

Fortune Feimster 28:50 Like, South by Southwest kinda felt like is h- gonna have a ripple effect. They're, they're saying Coachella's gonna be October.

Joe Rogan 28:58 Did you see Elon Musk's tweet on Coachella? (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 29:01 What did he say? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:02 He said that they should postpone, uh, Coachella until it stops sucking.

Fortune Feimster 29:06 (laughs) I've actually ne-

Jamie Vernon 29:08 They tweeted back, too. Did you see their response?

Joe Rogan 29:10 No, pull it up.

Jamie Vernon 29:11 Yeah, I'm gonna find the one. Hold on.

Joe Rogan 29:12 What?

Fortune Feimster 29:12 I've never been to Coachella.

Jamie Vernon 29:14 'Cause, uh ...

Joe Rogan 29:15 I've never been either.

Fortune Feimster 29:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:15 I'm a grown-ass man.

Fortune Feimster 29:17 (laughs) I saw McGrowl. What am I gonna do, have a bandana?

Jamie Vernon 29:19 They wrote, "LOL." Yeah, because-

Joe Rogan 29:20 'Cause he was there with a car.

Jamie Vernon 29:21 No, that's, uh, Jaden Smith flew a c- flew a, a Model X-

Fortune Feimster 29:25 Oh.

Jamie Vernon 29:25 ... over the crowd like-

Joe Rogan 29:26 Wait.

Jamie Vernon 29:27 ... a year or two ago.

Joe Rogan 29:27 Will Smith's son-

Jamie Vernon 29:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:28 ... plays at Coachella?

Jamie Vernon 29:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:30 Well, that makes Elon right. (sniffs)

Jamie Vernon 29:32 Yeah, well, right now-

Joe Rogan 29:33 That means it's correct.

Jamie Vernon 29:34 ... it was a good idea. He liked it.

Fortune Feimster 29:34 He goes, he goes-

Joe Rogan 29:35 "Okay, fine. That was a good idea, ha ha. Oh, that was good, ha ha."

Fortune Feimster 29:38 He only liked that part 'cause it says he loves them all.

Joe Rogan 29:40 Yeah, meanwhile, people know that Elon Musk is reading his tweets. How does he have time? He's ... He has 16 different jobs.

Fortune Feimster 29:48 He made all this money.

Jamie Vernon 29:48 He, he's on Twitter all the time.

Joe Rogan 29:49 How is that possible though?

Jamie Vernon 29:50 Just been tweeting memes.

Joe Rogan 29:51 Right, but how is it possible?

Jamie Vernon 29:52 Like, hey.

Fortune Feimster 29:53 Maybe he just hires people to do all the stuff now. He's like-

Joe Rogan 29:57 No.

Fortune Feimster 29:57 ... "You guys got it."

Joe Rogan 29:57 He's very hands-on.

Fortune Feimster 29:58 Really?

Joe Rogan 29:59 When the Model 3 production was underway, he was telling me that he was working 16 hours a day.

Fortune Feimster 30:02 Dang.

Joe Rogan 30:03 Yeah, he was in, in the, the factory 16 hours a day. Maybe he gives himself a little bit of a break-

Fortune Feimster 30:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:08 ... and then he goes on tweet storms. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 30:09 Yeah. (laughs) He's like, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." (laughs) Tweet tweet.

Joe Rogan 30:12 But that guy's ... His tweets have cost him millions of dollars.

Fortune Feimster 30:15 I know.

Joe Rogan 30:15 And he's still tweeting.

Fortune Feimster 30:15 He doesn't care.

Joe Rogan 30:16 He doesn't give a fuck.

Fortune Feimster 30:17 But that's how much money ... When s- when you have a lot of money, you're just like, "Whatever." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:21 Yeah, "I'm just tweeting, bitch."

Fortune Feimster 30:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:22 "What you gonna do?"

Fortune Feimster 30:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:24 Yeah, when the, uh, um ... When he wrote, "Tesla stock selling private at 4/20," or "secured at 4/20"-

Jamie Vernon 30:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:30 ... like, as a joke.

Fortune Feimster 30:32 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 30:32 He's got, like, weird 4/20 jokes, but he doesn't even smoke weed. Like, when he smoked weed-

Fortune Feimster 30:36 He smoked one here.

Joe Rogan 30:36 ... on my podcast-

Fortune Feimster 30:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:37 ... he barely inhaled.

Fortune Feimster 30:38 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 30:39 Yeah, I don't think he ... I don't think he really smokes weed, but he does-

Fortune Feimster 30:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:41 He makes a lot of 4/20 jokes.

Fortune Feimster 30:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:43 Maybe he smokes-

Fortune Feimster 30:44 It's-

Joe Rogan 30:44 ... weed on the sneak tip and just didn't want it in front of everybody. So, he just-

Fortune Feimster 30:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:47 ... didn't wanna be rude 'cause I was offering, so he just took a little bit and-

Fortune Feimster 30:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:51 He's like, "It is legal."

Fortune Feimster 30:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:52 I'm like, "Yeah, it's legal, bro."

Fortune Feimster 30:55 It is.

Joe Rogan 30:56 He's too smart. It's uncomfortable.

Fortune Feimster 30:59 Yeah. 'Cause th- I wouldn't know what to talk with him about. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:02 Well, imagine talking to regular idiots.

Fortune Feimster 31:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:05 Like when he's sitting down there talking like, man, I felt bad talking to me. I felt bad he had to talk to me.

Fortune Feimster 31:08 No, but you know a lot of stuff.

Joe Rogan 31:10 Oh, I know some things.

Fortune Feimster 31:11 You're well, you're well read.

Joe Rogan 31:12 Yeah. I know a lot of dumb shit.

Fortune Feimster 31:14 (laughs) That's good though.

Joe Rogan 31:16 I have like a cur- a, like, um, peripheral knowledge, a, a cursory understanding of many things.

Fortune Feimster 31:22 And you're ... It seems like you remember a lot of the things that you do read.

Joe Rogan 31:25 Yeah, that's where it's tricky.

Fortune Feimster 31:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:26 That's where it appears that I'm intelligent. I just have a good memory.

Fortune Feimster 31:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:29 I just remember things.

Fortune Feimster 31:30 'Cause I'll read things and it'll go, you know ... I'll, I'll be like, "Oh, yeah, I read that book." I couldn't tell you what (laughs) I read like a year later. It's gone.

Joe Rogan 31:38 (laughs) That happens to me too though.

Fortune Feimster 31:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:40 That is ... I only have a memory for things that I think are interesting.

Fortune Feimster 31:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:43 If I think something's interesting, I remember it. But if my wife tells me some shit and I, I don't give a fuck, I forget it five minutes after she's told me.

Fortune Feimster 31:50 Did you hear it though? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:50 And she'll say it again and I'll go, "What are you talking about?"

Fortune Feimster 31:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:52 And she goes, "I just talked to you about that." I'm like, I'm like, "When?" She's like, "Five minutes ago." I'm like, "I blocked you out."

Fortune Feimster 31:57 Yeah, I do that same thing. I'll be like, "What?" She's like, "You never listen." And I'm like, "No, I heard you."

Joe Rogan 32:03 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 32:04 "Can you, can you tell me what it was again?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:07 I heard you.

Fortune Feimster 32:08 I know I heard you.

Joe Rogan 32:10 I heard you, bitch.

Fortune Feimster 32:11 It, it works well for s- uh, memorizing, uh, scripts though, w- for the-

Joe Rogan 32:15 Memories?

Fortune Feimster 32:15 ... the short term memory.

Joe Rogan 32:16 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 32:17 I'll remem- I can learn a script super quick.

Joe Rogan 32:20 Oh, really?

Fortune Feimster 32:20 Do the lines and then it's gone forever. Al-

Joe Rogan 32:23 Well, I feel like as standups, we have to have a memory.

Fortune Feimster 32:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:26 I mean, you're on stage for a fucking hour.

Fortune Feimster 32:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:28 You know, you have notes.

Fortune Feimster 32:28 Yeah, and the only reason I'm able to remember my set is 'cause it's s- so much repetition.

Joe Rogan 32:33 Yeah. Some people bring notes on stage, but, man, I always find that to be a big distraction. Like, I feel like-

Fortune Feimster 32:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:39 Like Bill Maher brings a fucking, like a concert pianist's ... Like one of those-

Fortune Feimster 32:43 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 32:44 ... stands. You know one of those things?

Fortune Feimster 32:45 Oh, really? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:46 Yeah, and he like, looks at the notes and like-

Fortune Feimster 32:48 Oh, like a-

Joe Rogan 32:48 ... passes over them.

Fortune Feimster 32:49 ... like if you're in a choir. Like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:51 Yes. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 32:51 I gotcha.

Joe Rogan 32:52 Like music-

Fortune Feimster 32:52 My ... Music stand.

Joe Rogan 32:53 A music stand.

Fortune Feimster 32:54 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:55 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 32:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:55 Yeah, like a podium.

Fortune Feimster 32:56 I have brought notes on stage, and, um, as soon as I start talking, I put it down and never look at it.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 33:03 'Cause it feels odd to like stop the rhythm-

Joe Rogan 33:07 Right.

Fortune Feimster 33:08 ... to, to be like, "Let me see what my notes are." You're like, "Just go with it and see what happens."

Joe Rogan 33:12 Well, if you have new shit you're working on, then I understand it.

Fortune Feimster 33:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:15 Then, if like, I've seen guys go on stage and they have new shit.

Fortune Feimster 33:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:19 But sometimes people go on stage with notes just to let you know they're working on new stuff.

Fortune Feimster 33:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:22 It's almost like it l- you ... It lessens your expectations.

Fortune Feimster 33:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:26 Like, "This is all new. I mean, f-"

Fortune Feimster 33:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:28 I don't know. And then they'll do old jokes.

Fortune Feimster 33:30 (laughs) I just flat out tell them, "I don't have a punchline to this." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:33 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 33:33 "I'm gonna make you go on this five minute journey."

Joe Rogan 33:35 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 33:35 "And then it's gonna peter out." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:38 Don't you feel like sometimes that's how you find the punchline?

Fortune Feimster 33:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:40 You-

Fortune Feimster 33:40 I did this show S- Saturday night. I go, "I don't have a punchline to this. You guys have any suggestions?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:45 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 33:45 And they legitimately, f- like three dudes raised their hand, "Well, you could d-" I was like, "Oh, you took me literally. Okay, well what do you got?"

Joe Rogan 33:54 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 33:54 It was all garbage.

Joe Rogan 33:55 Well, you never know.

Fortune Feimster 33:56 But ... You never know.

Joe Rogan 33:57 You never know.

Fortune Feimster 33:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:58 I'm doing that show tonight at the store, Stand Up on the Spot. Have you ever done that?

Fortune Feimster 34:01 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 34:02 I- it's Jeremiah Watkins' show.

Fortune Feimster 34:04 He's asked me, but it's-

Joe Rogan 34:05 You should do it, it's really fun.

Fortune Feimster 34:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:06 Well, it used to be called Thunder Pussy, which is a way better name.

Fortune Feimster 34:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:08 And it actually is something that I used to do at the end of my shows. At the end of my shows, I used to do a Q&A.

Fortune Feimster 34:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:14 And I stole that from Jerry Seinfeld.

Fortune Feimster 34:16 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 34:17 Before I ever did comedy.

Fortune Feimster 34:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:18 I was like 19. I took my girlfriend to see Jerry Seinfeld at The Paradise in Boston.

Fortune Feimster 34:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:24 And, uh, at the end of the show, he gets requests from the audience.

Fortune Feimster 34:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:29 They, they raise their hand. It was ... Paradise was a, a small theater. I wanna say maybe 300, 400 people, so f- fairly small place.

Fortune Feimster 34:39 Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:40 It was cool. It was an intimate place to see Jerry.

Fortune Feimster 34:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:41 And, um-

Fortune Feimster 34:42 Did he know these questions were c- like did he say?

Joe Rogan 34:45 No. Nope.

Fortune Feimster 34:45 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 34:45 Nope. Nope.

Fortune Feimster 34:46 They just were like-

Joe Rogan 34:46 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 34:46 ... "We have ... We wanna find out."

Joe Rogan 34:48 Yeah, so he did like an hour of standup.

Fortune Feimster 34:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:50 And then afterwards, uh, he, he actually says, "Thank you very much. Thank you very much." And then, um, he says, "I'm gonna take some questions from the crowd."

Fortune Feimster 34:57 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:58 "You know, if you have any questions."

Fortune Feimster 34:59 Okay, gotcha.

Joe Rogan 35:00 And then, and then some, some guy says, uh, "How do you feel about the Big Dig?" 'Cause there was this big thing going on in Boston when they were digging tunnels.

Fortune Feimster 35:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:06 And he, he went on this whole, like, impromptu improvised rant-

Fortune Feimster 35:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:10 ... on the Big Dig, and then someone yelled out something about something. And now, he did it for a while, and it's like, that is a great way to come up with material.

Fortune Feimster 35:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:16 Particularly at the end of your show. So I did that for a while.

Fortune Feimster 35:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:19 But then it got to be too draggy, like you never know when to end it.

Fortune Feimster 35:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:23 So I'd do an hour of standup and then an hour of that nonsense.

Fortune Feimster 35:25 Oh, that's a long-

Joe Rogan 35:25 And you see people yawning.

Fortune Feimster 35:26 That's a long time.

Joe Rogan 35:27 And you're like, "What am I doing? I'm torturing these poor fucks."

Fortune Feimster 35:29 Well, 'cause sometimes in that you can find some real gold, and then other times it's just like-

Joe Rogan 35:33 Digging through shit.

Fortune Feimster 35:33 ... no one cares. (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:35 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 35:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:35 Digging through shit, looking for diamonds.

Fortune Feimster 35:37 For sure.

Joe Rogan 35:37 Nope, just another shovel of shit.

Fortune Feimster 35:39 It's like getting crowd work. You're like-

Joe Rogan 35:40 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 35:40 ... "Where do you work?" And it's something lame, you're like, "And where do you work?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:44 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 35:44 You just move on.

Joe Rogan 35:45 How do you write, Fortune?

Fortune Feimster 35:46 I write ... I go to the computer and write it all out.

Joe Rogan 35:49 That's what's up. Knuckles. Boom.

Fortune Feimster 35:51 Boom.

Joe Rogan 35:51 That's how I do it.

Fortune Feimster 35:51 Oh, you do that?

Joe Rogan 35:52 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 35:52 I cannot ... Some people are like, "Oh, I write stage." I'm like, "No, no, no." I'll find punchlines on stage.

Joe Rogan 35:58 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 35:58 But I have to know where I'm going.

Joe Rogan 35:59 Good for you.

Fortune Feimster 36:00 But I, but I was a journalist for seven years.

Joe Rogan 36:03 Were you really?

Fortune Feimster 36:03 Yeah, I was an entertainment journalist.

Joe Rogan 36:05 No kidding.

Fortune Feimster 36:06 It was my, like, day job while I was pursuing comedy at night.

Joe Rogan 36:09 How'd you get that gig?

Fortune Feimster 36:11 Very random. I, uh, was the, I was the, um, student speaker at my college graduation. And, uh, this actress was the commencement speaker and she hired me to come out to LA and be her assistant. And her neighbor wrote for, like, the LA Daily News and she's like, "I heard you're a good writer from your speech from in college." I was like, "Yeah, you know, I ... It, it seemed to go well." She's like, "Do you wanna write for me, cover events and stuff? And it'll be in the LA Da- Daily News." I was like 23, I was like, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" So I just like became a journalist. I had to just like learn how to do it.

Joe Rogan 36:49 Wow.

Fortune Feimster 36:49 So I was going to like, um, like movie premiers, or like the Grammys, Oscars, Emmys. I talked to celebrities on the phone and would write stories. It wasn't like gossip, it was more like-... "What are you working on? Tell me about, you know, the project and what are you doing next? And what was it like working with so and so?" And so I was, like, getting to learn all this stuff about the business.

Joe Rogan 37:10 And were you trying to make them funny or were you just, like, just laying it out?

Fortune Feimster 37:13 Just s- just laying it out. Laying out the, you know, the interview and what they said. And, and then that job led to a syndicated column. So I was writing ... So it, uh, it became full-time for the next six years.

Joe Rogan 37:23 Really?

Fortune Feimster 37:24 Yeah. So I wrote, uh, all day from, like, 9:00 to s- well, like, 9:00 to 6:00.

Joe Rogan 37:29 No shit.

Fortune Feimster 37:29 And then I would do events at night. And then I started, like, uh, doing comedy, um, like two years into that.

Joe Rogan 37:38 Wow, so you would write all day and then do comedy at night?

Fortune Feimster 37:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:41 So while you were writing, would you say, "Ooh, this could be funny," and then, like, set it aside?

Fortune Feimster 37:45 Yeah. Well, I always was, like, requesting to, like, go to, (laughs) like, funny movies. Like, I knew I could interview comedians or, uh, like, or go to, like, Sarah, Sarah ... Uh, Sarah Silverman had a show on Comedy Central. I was like, "Oh, can I go to set and interview all the comics?" (laughs) So I was, I was, like, gathering knowledge that way, knowing that I loved comedy. But I didn't ... I was never that person who were like, "I wanna do comedy," 'cause you know, like, brand new into standup. Um, but it was more of just, like, it taught me the skill of just getting to the story faster.

Joe Rogan 38:13 Mm.

Fortune Feimster 38:14 Like what, what's the interesting part of this interview? What's the interesting part of this story? And getting to that helped me, you know, just be a better writer.

Joe Rogan 38:22 Yeah, that's a great skill to have-

Fortune Feimster 38:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:24 ... when you're crafting bits.

Fortune Feimster 38:25 Well, I never knew, when I started standup, that it would be so much writing. Like I hadn't ... You know, obviously now that I'm a standup, I'm like, "Duh, you have to have material." But going into it, you just don't realize the content that you need to create.

Joe Rogan 38:39 Well, there's a big mistake that many comics make where they do ... just write on stage.

Fortune Feimster 38:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:44 And then they have these sort of rambling intros to a bit or a bit ... Maybe they have something there.

Fortune Feimster 38:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:50 But they, they don't sit down-

Fortune Feimster 38:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:53 ... in front of a computer for hours-

Fortune Feimster 38:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:54 ... and just try to pick it apart-

Fortune Feimster 38:56 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:57 ... and try to find the best way to do it.

Fortune Feimster 38:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:58 But if they did that, they would cut down on the process-

Fortune Feimster 39:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:01 ... of creating that bit. You can get to the end. Like some guys can get to the ... Some guys are just like, they're just great at just figuring out how to shorten things up and get to the point-

Fortune Feimster 39:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:10 ... really quick.

Fortune Feimster 39:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:11 But some people are not, and they get comfortable with kind of half-assing it.

Fortune Feimster 39:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:15 And then they stick to that form through the entire bit.

Fortune Feimster 39:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:19 And you'll see the bit and you're like, "Hey, man, that bit would be so much better if he chopped out, like, h- half of the words."

Fortune Feimster 39:23 Yeah, for sure.

Joe Rogan 39:24 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 39:24 And I mean, I'm, I'm definitely more of a storyteller, so that's why I like to sit down and write it, because I'm not doing setup, punchline, setup, punchline.

Joe Rogan 39:32 Mm-hmm.

Fortune Feimster 39:33 I'm telling a story, but I'm trying to make it funny on the way there. And so for me, I have to write 'cause I have to see what it looks like t- 'cause I'm like, "Oh, that sentence was really bland."

Joe Rogan 39:41 Right.

Fortune Feimster 39:42 What, like, one word can I put in there that just, you're like, "Oh, I see it now. I see what that is."

Joe Rogan 39:49 Yeah. Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 39:49 Instead of just being like, you know, a ball. You know, you're finding something more unique about it.

Joe Rogan 39:54 I s- I tell people there's four steps to creating material, and you could just do one.

Fortune Feimster 39:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:59 All right, the one you could do is you could just do it on stage.

Fortune Feimster 40:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:02 You could just fuck around on stage and you will come up with an act.

Fortune Feimster 40:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:04 Or you can write in front of your computer or in front of a notebook and then you go on stage, you improvise on stage, and then you listen to your sets.

Fortune Feimster 40:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:13 Those are the steps. Those are all the steps.

Fortune Feimster 40:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:15 So you could fuck off on the other three and just go on stage-

Fortune Feimster 40:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:19 ... if you're a good comic and you could figure out how to develop an act that way.

Fortune Feimster 40:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:22 But I really think you're doing yourself a disservice.

Fortune Feimster 40:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:24 And comics come up with this bullshit like, "Oh, I write on stage." I'm like, "I do too."

Fortune Feimster 40:28 (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 40:28 Yeah, I do too. But I also-

Fortune Feimster 40:29 Yeah, you find this stuff all the time.

Joe Rogan 40:30 I sit down and there's ... Some of my best punchlines have come from sitting in front of the fucking computer.

Fortune Feimster 40:35 Yeah, 'cause you're pushing yourself too.

Joe Rogan 40:36 Yes.

Fortune Feimster 40:37 You're like, "This, this is not good. What ... " You know.

Joe Rogan 40:39 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 40:40 I will stare at my computer for an hour until it, until I find, like, even if it's one sentence-

Joe Rogan 40:44 Right, right, right.

Fortune Feimster 40:45 ... that makes it better.

Joe Rogan 40:46 Oh, yeah. And that's so valuable.

Fortune Feimster 40:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:47 You could do 100 sets and never f- change your bit.

Fortune Feimster 40:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:51 But you could have, like, one, you know, hour session in front of a computer where you're like, "Oh. Oh."

Fortune Feimster 40:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:57 Because if you're just alone with nothing else and no distractions-

Fortune Feimster 41:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:01 ... and you can look at the stuff, like, it just makes sense that you wi- with focus and time-

Fortune Feimster 41:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:07 ... you, you can create better.

Fortune Feimster 41:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:09 It just makes sense. So you can look at it better.

Fortune Feimster 41:10 Yeah, and that's what I was doing when I was prepping for this Netflix special. I was ... I wrote, I wrote it all out. It was like, I don't know, 18 pages, something like that. And then I was con- I was always ... I was going on stage and working it out, taping it, listening to it, and then constantly, oh, moving this paragraph, moving this. It was all ... All, all of the work was done at the computer.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Hmm.

Fortune Feimster 41:31 Like, moving it to where it needed to be.

Joe Rogan 41:33 Do you use a program or anything to move stuff around?

Fortune Feimster 41:35 No, I just, I u- wor- I use Word. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:38 Word, yeah.

Fortune Feimster 41:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:38 Word's fun.

Fortune Feimster 41:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:39 Um, there's a program called Scrivener. Have you ever heard of it?

Fortune Feimster 41:42 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 41:43 I like it a lot because, um, what I do is I'll put all of the subjects on the left column.

Fortune Feimster 41:49 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:49 And they're labeled.

Fortune Feimster 41:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:50 And then when you click on each one, it'll be the whole bit.

Fortune Feimster 41:53 Oh, that's cool.

Joe Rogan 41:54 But I don't write in it. I write in Word.

Fortune Feimster 41:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:56 Or I write in ... I used to write in something called Write Room.

Fortune Feimster 42:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:00 But that was when I was writing on a Mac.

Fortune Feimster 42:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:03 And the problem is with Macs, their, their laptop keyboards suck.

Fortune Feimster 42:06 Oh, no. You were saying there's-

Joe Rogan 42:07 They eat shit.

Fortune Feimster 42:08 ... something you discovered.

Joe Rogan 42:09 ThinkPads.

Fortune Feimster 42:10 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:11 Lenovo ThinkPads.

Fortune Feimster 42:11 That one, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:12 They're so much better.

Fortune Feimster 42:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:13 I mean, you make way less errors. First of all, they're curved.

Fortune Feimster 42:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:17 So the keys are curved, so your fingers fit into them.

Fortune Feimster 42:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:20 And also, there's a lot of key travel.

Fortune Feimster 42:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:22 There's like 1.7 millimeters to I think their m- their maximum one is 2.2 millimeters and the minimum is 1.5.

Fortune Feimster 42:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:28 But 1.5 o- is probably 'cause as low as you really wanna go. 'Cause anytime you get around one, it's just not enough key travel. And Apple, everything has to look beautiful.

Fortune Feimster 42:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:37 Everything has to be design. It's all about-

Fortune Feimster 42:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:39 ... the sleek design.

Fortune Feimster 42:40 It's minimal stuff, you know?

Joe Rogan 42:41 The aluminum case. But it's horseshit-

Fortune Feimster 42:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:42 ... because you've made a, a, a tool that doesn't work as well.

Fortune Feimster 42:45 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:45 It's flat keys. They're not concave. You know, they have that beautiful C shape.

Fortune Feimster 42:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:51 The, you know, that, uh, Lenovo has. So your fingers, like, you know which key you're hitting. There's no errors.

Fortune Feimster 42:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:57 You don't fuck up as much.

Fortune Feimster 42:58 Yeah, I did the old school, uh...... my mom made me take keyboarding (laughs) in high school.

Joe Rogan 43:03 Oh.

Fortune Feimster 43:03 So, I had to learn how to do those things. So, a keyboard's important.

Joe Rogan 43:06 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 43:06 It-

Joe Rogan 43:06 It's very important.

Fortune Feimster 43:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:08 You should try a ThinkPad, I'm telling you-

Fortune Feimster 43:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:09 ... they're the best.

Fortune Feimster 43:10 Yeah, I will.

Joe Rogan 43:10 They're so much better. And you get over the Windows thing.

Fortune Feimster 43:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:13 Like, everybody's like, "Windows sucks." It doesn't suck anymore. Windows 10 does not suck.

Fortune Feimster 43:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:17 It's easy.

Fortune Feimster 43:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:18 It doesn't fuck up. It sucks when it has to update, 'cause that shit takes a long time.

Fortune Feimster 43:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:22 But that ha- that happens on the Mac too.

Fortune Feimster 43:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:24 But-

Fortune Feimster 43:24 You just have it update at night or something.

Joe Rogan 43:26 But to type on it is a dream.

Fortune Feimster 43:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:28 It's so much easier.

Fortune Feimster 43:29 Well, especially if you're spending so much time-

Joe Rogan 43:31 Mm-hmm.

Fortune Feimster 43:32 ... writing on something like that.

Joe Rogan 43:33 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 43:33 If you're just, like, surfing the n- the net, it's like, "Eh, I see." Like, "Whatever."

Joe Rogan 43:37 I have this, uh, ThinkPad X1 Carbon, and it fucking weighs nothing.

Fortune Feimster 43:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:41 It weighs like a couple of pounds.

Fortune Feimster 43:42 Which is nice to take.

Joe Rogan 43:43 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 43:43 Like, on the road, I'm always like-

Joe Rogan 43:44 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 43:44 ... my book bag's like, (sighs) "Oh my God."

Joe Rogan 43:47 Yes. Well, Apple wants to make aluminum laptops.

Fortune Feimster 43:49 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:49 Look at that old beast that I have over there.

Fortune Feimster 43:51 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:51 I have an old 17-inch one.

Fortune Feimster 43:52 It's heavy and then you have that big old power strip.

Joe Rogan 43:55 Yeah, but that, I could fuck somebody up with that if they tried to mug me.

Fortune Feimster 43:58 (laughs) That's true.

Joe Rogan 43:58 If you, if you have a bag with a 17-inch laptop in, that's like a bomb.

Fortune Feimster 44:02 (laughs) That is.

Joe Rogan 44:03 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 44:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:03 But th- that's actually, the reason why I have that one t- s- because the key travel was different back then.

Fortune Feimster 44:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:08 The t- key travel's actually pretty good on that.

Fortune Feimster 44:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:10 And the k- keys are a little curved, but once they started trying to make them thinner and lighter, they fucked up.

Fortune Feimster 44:15 That's what I have, 'cause I have the Air.

Joe Rogan 44:17 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 44:17 So it's like, my little fat fingers are like itty-bitty, like, trying to write-

Joe Rogan 44:21 It's hard.

Fortune Feimster 44:22 Um, and- and then changed something recently, where it's like, um, I'm writing words and it's changing it for me in- so they're-

Joe Rogan 44:28 Autocorrect?

Fortune Feimster 44:29 Yeah, but to, like-

Joe Rogan 44:30 The wrong ones?

Fortune Feimster 44:31 ... (laughs) totally the wrong words. I'm like-

Joe Rogan 44:32 Yeah, it's like, "Oh, I think you meant this." Like-

Fortune Feimster 44:33 Yeah, I'm like, "That's not..." And it's-

Joe Rogan 44:35 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 44:35 Yeah, it's been weird. Like, there was some update that was weird lately. So...

Joe Rogan 44:38 In Microsoft Word?

Fortune Feimster 44:39 I think so. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:41 Man.

Fortune Feimster 44:41 Um- ... unless I'm thinking about my phone (laughs) . It could be my phone that-

Joe Rogan 44:44 It's the phone.

Fortune Feimster 44:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:45 The phone does that with me. It annoys the shit out of me.

Fortune Feimster 44:47 It's like-

Joe Rogan 44:47 It's like, "I think you meant to say..."

Fortune Feimster 44:48 But it's, like, the craziest words-

Joe Rogan 44:49 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 44:50 ... that no one's ever gonna use.

Joe Rogan 44:51 Really?

Fortune Feimster 44:52 Yeah. Well, I mean, the classic, ducking.

Joe Rogan 44:55 Oh, yeah.

Fortune Feimster 44:55 Who's ducking?

Joe Rogan 44:56 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 44:56 (laughs) I mean, like, come on.

Joe Rogan 44:58 How often does that happen?

Fortune Feimster 44:59 At some point, they need to r- need to embrace that people are saying "fucking".

Joe Rogan 45:02 Well, why don't they have like a way you can click on it and say, "Learn"?

Fortune Feimster 45:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:06 Like, maybe old people don't want you suggesting "fucking".

Fortune Feimster 45:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 45:10 But, or, you know, hardcore Christians or something like that.

Fortune Feimster 45:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:13 But if you're a person who says "fuck" all the time-

Fortune Feimster 45:15 You can do the, the preference. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:16 ... it sh- y- you should be able to autocorrect to "fuck".

Fortune Feimster 45:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:18 Like, it says that.

Fortune Feimster 45:19 Once you've used it enough-

Joe Rogan 45:20 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 45:20 ... it should be like, "All right, this is a standard word for their..."

Joe Rogan 45:23 I wonder if Android does it the same way?

Fortune Feimster 45:25 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 45:26 I wonder if Android corrects like that too?

Fortune Feimster 45:29 My partner has a Android.

Joe Rogan 45:30 Yeah?

Fortune Feimster 45:30 But I've never asked. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:32 Lesbians are so funny with "partner". Why don't you just say, "My girl"?

Fortune Feimster 45:35 "My girl."

Joe Rogan 45:36 "My woman."

Fortune Feimster 45:36 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 45:37 Why, why is it part- partner's always just like-

Fortune Feimster 45:38 Partner seems-

Joe Rogan 45:39 ... "Are you guys in business? Like, what are you doing?"

Fortune Feimster 45:40 ... it seems respectful.

Joe Rogan 45:41 Is that what it is?

Fortune Feimster 45:42 I don't know. W- I think because we, uh, couldn't get married. I mean, we're not married, we're engaged. But I think because people couldn't get married for so long, it was like they couldn't say "wife" or "husband".

Joe Rogan 45:52 Right.

Fortune Feimster 45:53 So the word-

Joe Rogan 45:54 Right.

Fortune Feimster 45:54 ... became "partner".

Joe Rogan 45:56 It is weird, right? Like, "wife" and "husband" and all these words-

Fortune Feimster 46:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:00 ... that, just standard words that we just use over and over again.

Fortune Feimster 46:03 "My wife".

Joe Rogan 46:04 "My girl", "My girlfriend."

Fortune Feimster 46:05 It's like they're, it's like your girlfriend for a long time, then it's your fiance for a long time, then it's wife.

Joe Rogan 46:10 When did bae come along?

Fortune Feimster 46:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:12 When did B-A-E...

Fortune Feimster 46:13 When did bae come along?

Joe Rogan 46:15 Seems like it's real recent, within like three or four years.

Fortune Feimster 46:17 Couple of years ago?

Joe Rogan 46:18 Yeah. These fucking kids on Instagram, they- they probably came up with it.

Fortune Feimster 46:22 My bae.

Joe Rogan 46:22 Twitter kids.

Fortune Feimster 46:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:24 Yeah. It's, uh, just a...

Fortune Feimster 46:25 My, my partner.

Joe Rogan 46:26 Partner's weird. A friend of mine used it and he was talking about his wife.

Fortune Feimster 46:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:30 He's like, "My partner and I, we d-" I went, "Your partner? Like, what, what are you talking about?"

Fortune Feimster 46:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:34 "Your wife? That lady that you're married to?"

Fortune Feimster 46:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:36 "When did she become your fucking partner?"

Fortune Feimster 46:37 Yeah. "You going to, you guys going to business together?"

Joe Rogan 46:38 Well, it's like, people who are progressive-

Fortune Feimster 46:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:40 ... they try to use words that, like, gay and lesbian people use.

Fortune Feimster 46:45 The "right words", yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:45 Like, and they, they try to use it, like, almost as like they're an ally.

Fortune Feimster 46:49 Like we're all one.

Joe Rogan 46:49 Like, "My partner." Yeah. "My partner and I," like, "Your partner?"

Fortune Feimster 46:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:52 "You mean your wife? That lady you're married to?"

Fortune Feimster 46:54 I-

Joe Rogan 46:55 St- st- shut the fuck up.

Fortune Feimster 46:56 I find the word "fiance" weird.

Joe Rogan 46:58 It is weird.

Fortune Feimster 46:58 'Cause, so, is, she is my fiance. We've been engaged for over two years, but it's weird to be like, "This is my fiance."

Joe Rogan 47:06 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 47:06 It's like, it almost seems, like, more pretentious.

Joe Rogan 47:09 It is a little bit, right? It's like, "Shit or get off the pot, bro."

Fortune Feimster 47:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:12 "What are you doing?"

Fortune Feimster 47:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:13 "How come you..." Uh, w- (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 47:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:16 And people s-

Fortune Feimster 47:16 People be like, "When are you getting married?" I mean, we are getting married.

Joe Rogan 47:19 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 47:19 But we are, like, just not, neither of us are planners.

Joe Rogan 47:23 You should be able to say it the week before the wedding.

Fortune Feimster 47:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:26 "My fiance and I." The week before, you can say it.

Fortune Feimster 47:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:29 Other than that, stop saying it.

Fortune Feimster 47:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:31 I don't know.

Fortune Feimster 47:31 So if you come up with a better word for me, let me know.

Joe Rogan 47:33 The one good thing about fiance is that it's gender neutral.

Fortune Feimster 47:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:37 Right? It's boy, girl to everybody.

Fortune Feimster 47:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:39 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 47:39 K- it's just spelled differently.

Joe Rogan 47:41 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 47:41 But no one really cares about that.

Joe Rogan 47:43 Where was I reading, in some country, they have a marriage contract that lasts a certain amount of time. Where the fuck was that? I was like, "Wow, that's interesting."

Fortune Feimster 47:54 Like-

Joe Rogan 47:54 It was like a five-year contract with a, with an ability to renew.

Fortune Feimster 47:57 And, oh, and so if it's not working out...

Joe Rogan 47:59 Yeah. It just, it just dissolves.

Fortune Feimster 48:01 Yeah. (laughs) You're like-

Joe Rogan 48:02 You know? It's like a lease on a, on a car. You just give that piece of shit back. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 48:05 That- that's not bad for some people-

Joe Rogan 48:07 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 48:07 ... 'cause, you know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:09 Well, it's great for some people. Anna Nicole Smith's husband would've loved that.

Fortune Feimster 48:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:12 You know?

Fortune Feimster 48:12 Just take a lease and-

Joe Rogan 48:13 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 48:13 ... try it out.

Joe Rogan 48:15 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 48:15 It'd save you a lot in, uh, divorce fees and-

Joe Rogan 48:18 Right.

Fortune Feimster 48:19 ... all that.

Joe Rogan 48:19 'Cause this is... I don't know. It's weird. It's w- like, w- in a case like the Anna Nicole Smith bit.

Fortune Feimster 48:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:28 Or the Anna Nicole Smith situation. Like, that kind of situation is weird when one person has the money.

Fortune Feimster 48:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:33 And you can tell the other person is only with them for the money.

Fortune Feimster 48:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:37 And they're trying to talk them into signing a contract, and then they'll eventually leave them.

Fortune Feimster 48:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:41 Like, I knew this lady, she was really hot.

Fortune Feimster 48:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:43 Her boyfriend was really not.

Fortune Feimster 48:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:45 And we all knew what was coming.

Fortune Feimster 48:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:47 We all... And the guy had money, and, yeah.

Fortune Feimster 48:48 And he wrote her into his-

Joe Rogan 48:50 Oh, yeah. They got married.

Fortune Feimster 48:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:51 Yeah. They got married and she took the house, she took everything.

Fortune Feimster 48:54 Oh, she left him a v- like-

Joe Rogan 48:55 Oh, yeah, yeah. We knew she was gonna leave him.

Fortune Feimster 48:56 How, how long did she stay in it, do you remember?

Joe Rogan 48:57 She stayed in it a couple of years.

Fortune Feimster 48:59 Okay.

Joe Rogan 48:59 Just enough to get the chizash.... just enough.

Fortune Feimster 49:02 Ugh, it was brutal.

Joe Rogan 49:03 It was- it was ugly for all involved.

Fortune Feimster 49:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:05 Watching it on the outside, we're like, "That poor bastard."

Fortune Feimster 49:07 But you can't, like, say anything to your friend, 'cause then-

Joe Rogan 49:09 Nope. Can't say a goddamn thing.

Fortune Feimster 49:09 ... then your friend's like, "Well, what's wrong with me? Why would she not wanna be with me, for me?"

Joe Rogan 49:14 Well, I wasn't tight enough with him.

Fortune Feimster 49:15 Okay.

Joe Rogan 49:16 Yeah. He was a- just a casual friend.

Fortune Feimster 49:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:18 He's a nice guy.

Fortune Feimster 49:19 But it- but it was like the writing was on the wall.

Joe Rogan 49:21 Oh, yeah.

Fortune Feimster 49:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:22 The moment I saw the two, I was like, "Oh, he's got money."

Fortune Feimster 49:24 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:24 And there's- oh, I see what's up. And she was just ... She had hungry eyes.

Fortune Feimster 49:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:30 That bitch was looking around.

Fortune Feimster 49:31 << Hungry eyes >>

Joe Rogan 49:32 Yeah. She's looking around.

Fortune Feimster 49:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:33 She's looking around for-

Fortune Feimster 49:34 She's like, "What you got in that- what you got in that wallet?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:37 ... other ... Yeah. She was looking around for other dick too. It was just one of those things.

Fortune Feimster 49:39 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 49:40 They're always looking for the next. But- but it is a possibility. That's the thing. It's like-

Fortune Feimster 49:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:46 ... being a prostitute's illegal, but being a gold digger's fine.

Fortune Feimster 49:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:50 Like, you should go to jail for being a gold digger.

Fortune Feimster 49:51 And- and what's the difference? You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 49:53 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 49:54 (laughs) Uh, uh, it's- like, the line is not that far apart.

Joe Rogan 49:58 It's, uh, very close.

Fortune Feimster 49:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:00 Like, do you remember Donald Sterling, the guy who owned the Clippers?

Fortune Feimster 50:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:03 He had a really hot girlfriend. She recorded him saying some racist shit.

Fortune Feimster 50:06 Oh, that's right, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:07 Yeah. That was a perfect example.

Fortune Feimster 50:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:09 Like, that girl was clearly a gold digger.

Fortune Feimster 50:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:11 He was disgusting.

Fortune Feimster 50:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:12 He was disgusting, and she was hot.

Fortune Feimster 50:14 (laughs) And- and then he had to sell, right? He-

Joe Rogan 50:17 Yeah, they made him sell the team.

Fortune Feimster 50:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:19 I had a whole bit about it, because it's really funny. What he said was, he goes, "I don't care if you fuck these guys, just don't take pictures with 'em."

Fortune Feimster 50:28 That's what he said?

Joe Rogan 50:28 He's trying to ... Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 50:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:29 See, everybody, like ... It was a virtue signaling opportunity for everybody to make sure that everyone knew that they were not racist, and that they- that they abhor racism.

Fortune Feimster 50:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Which is wonderful, right?

Fortune Feimster 50:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:38 But what- what he said was pretty reasonable. He said, "I don't care if you fuck these guys."

Fortune Feimster 50:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:45 "Just don't take pictures with 'em." So-

Fortune Feimster 50:47 Yeah. Like, embarrassing him or something?

Joe Rogan 50:49 But it was ... Yes, exactly.

Fortune Feimster 50:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:49 But it's his girlfriend, so imagine if he said it the other way. "I don't care if you take pictures with 'em, just don't fuck 'em."

Fortune Feimster 50:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:55 That would be reasonable.

Fortune Feimster 50:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:57 So, he's giving her a way better deal. She's allowed to fuck them.

Fortune Feimster 50:59 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:01 He's saying, "I don't care if you fuck these guys."

Fortune Feimster 51:03 He's like, "Take all the selfies you want." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:05 Yeah, just don't take pictures. Imagine if he said it the other way. Everybody'd be like, "Well, that's reasonable."

Fortune Feimster 51:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:09 If he said, y- you know, "Just take pictures all day, but don't fuck 'em."

Fortune Feimster 51:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:13 That would be like a standard thing that someone would ask of a spouse.

Fortune Feimster 51:16 Yeah. I mean, most spouses don't want you fucking other people. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:19 Yeah, most. Some of 'em do.

Fortune Feimster 51:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:21 That's where it gets really weird, right?

Fortune Feimster 51:22 That-

Joe Rogan 51:22 The people that want you to fuck other people, and they want you to-

Fortune Feimster 51:24 Like, the open stuff?

Joe Rogan 51:25 ... take pictures. Even worse, like, cucks.

Fortune Feimster 51:27 Yeah. Mm.

Joe Rogan 51:27 Like, there's guys, there's guys that want guys to fuck their girl.

Fortune Feimster 51:31 Oh, yeah, 'cause there- it's, like, uh, what, masochists or something like that? Where they're-

Joe Rogan 51:35 No, they're- they're- they're cuckolds.

Fortune Feimster 51:37 Oh.

Joe Rogan 51:37 That's what it's called. I mean, that's-

Fortune Feimster 51:37 Oh, that's the, the-

Joe Rogan 51:38 That's the real term.

Fortune Feimster 51:39 Oh, I didn't know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:40 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 51:40 I just thought those were, like, pussies. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:42 It is pussies, but-

Fortune Feimster 51:43 Okay.

Joe Rogan 51:43 But it- the r- the or- origin of the term is cuckold.

Fortune Feimster 51:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:47 And the origin of the term is, like, a man who knows his wife is fucking other guys.

Fortune Feimster 51:51 Oh, I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 51:52 And he either approves of it or- or likes the feeling of shame.

Fortune Feimster 51:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 51:56 There's some men that like the feeling of shame and- and humiliation.

Fortune Feimster 52:00 Yeah. Mm-hmm. That- that is not me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:03 Takes all kinds to run this world.

Fortune Feimster 52:05 I'd be crying like a bitch. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:07 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 52:07 What? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:09 But isn't it weird how it does take all types of people to run this world?

Fortune Feimster 52:13 Mm-hmm. All the ... People have so- there are so many different kinds of people.

Joe Rogan 52:17 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 52:17 When it comes to, like, sex stuff, people are all over the spectrum.

Joe Rogan 52:21 All over the spectrum.

Fortune Feimster 52:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:22 Furries.

Fortune Feimster 52:23 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 52:23 You know, people like to dress up like mascots.

Fortune Feimster 52:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:26 There's a lot of CEOs that like to hire- hire dominatrix-

Fortune Feimster 52:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:30 ... to tell them what to do and to kick 'em in the balls.

Fortune Feimster 52:32 'Cause it- 'cause the only person that will, like, talk to them like that.

Joe Rogan 52:35 Yeah. They like it.

Fortune Feimster 52:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:36 They- they like guys to s- or they like women to spit on 'em and stuff.

Fortune Feimster 52:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:40 And piss on 'em and- and just treat 'em like shit.

Fortune Feimster 52:42 I'll tell you this. I don't wanna be s- I don't wanna be pissed on. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:46 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 52:46 I got- I stepped on a sea urchin once.

Joe Rogan 52:48 Yeah. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 52:50 (laughs) And somebody said, "I'll piss on your foot." I was like, "I'm gonna just be in pain for the next two hours. Don't do it."

Joe Rogan 52:55 I don't think that works.

Fortune Feimster 52:56 Uh, that's what they say, but I don't know.

Joe Rogan 52:57 Yeah. I stepped on one too. They just poured, um, they poured, uh, vinegar on it.

Fortune Feimster 53:01 I'm like, "You don't have any ointment?" Like, why do you have to go straight to pissing on my foot?

Joe Rogan 53:06 Not- not much they can do. I just pulled the things out.

Fortune Feimster 53:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:08 I had to pull them out. We were, um, snorkeling, and then we, you know, we're- got near this reef, and I wanted to-

Fortune Feimster 53:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:13 ... put my feet down.

Fortune Feimster 53:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:15 Catch a little break, and I just went right onto a sea urchin.

Fortune Feimster 53:18 Well, I tri- I attempted to surf in Hawaii.

Joe Rogan 53:21 Oh.

Fortune Feimster 53:21 And I couldn't. (laughs) I couldn't even get my board past the break. And so, it kept pump- pushing me back in.

Joe Rogan 53:29 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 53:29 And I got so tired of just, like ... I had no upper body strength, so I just ... I was like, "Fuck it." I stood up and l- immediately, like, stood on the sea urchin.

Joe Rogan 53:38 Yeah, those fuckers are rough.

Fortune Feimster 53:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:40 They don't wanna get eaten, 'cause they're delicious. Have you ever had sea urchin sushi?

Fortune Feimster 53:43 I've ... Never, mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 53:44 Oh, it's so good. It looks like a orange tongue.

Fortune Feimster 53:45 Oh, that's that orange ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:47 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 53:47 I- I've never had it, 'cause it looks weird.

Joe Rogan 53:49 It does look weird, but it's quite delicious.

Fortune Feimster 53:51 And the texture's not ...

Joe Rogan 53:52 It's a little mushy.

Fortune Feimster 53:52 Okay.

Joe Rogan 53:53 But I d- ... Texture doesn't bother me.

Fortune Feimster 53:55 Texture bothers me. I can't eat certain foods.

Joe Rogan 53:58 Really?

Fortune Feimster 53:58 'Cause it-

Joe Rogan 53:58 Like what?

Fortune Feimster 53:58 Like strawberries. They're still-

Joe Rogan 54:00 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 54:00 I know, it's so (laughs) -

Joe Rogan 54:01 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 54:02 It's so weird.

Joe Rogan 54:03 That's a crazy one.

Fortune Feimster 54:04 The- the little straw- the little seeds.

Joe Rogan 54:06 Oh, really?

Fortune Feimster 54:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:06 The pokey-outy seeds on the outside?

Fortune Feimster 54:08 I hate 'em.

Joe Rogan 54:08 Really?

Fortune Feimster 54:08 Like, the- the- the feeling of, like, uh, like, biting-

Joe Rogan 54:11 Hmm. What about kiwis? You okay with that?

Fortune Feimster 54:13 Uh, it'd be the same.

Joe Rogan 54:14 The seeds?

Fortune Feimster 54:14 'Cause it's mushy and seeds.

Joe Rogan 54:16 Oh, you're a weirdo.

Fortune Feimster 54:17 I'm a weirdo. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:18 Yeah, you're definitely a weirdo.

Fortune Feimster 54:19 I think I'm just coming up with excuses not to eat fruit.

Joe Rogan 54:21 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 54:24 (laughs) Like, mentally, I'm telling myself this.

Joe Rogan 54:26 Right. Keep away from seeds.

Fortune Feimster 54:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:28 Are you okay with oranges?

Fortune Feimster 54:29 I like oranges, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:30 What about when you find a seed? Do you get mad?

Fortune Feimster 54:31 It's different, 'cause it's not like that hard cr- I don't know. Something about the hard, crunchy thing, I don't like.

Joe Rogan 54:37 Oh. Interesting.

Fortune Feimster 54:38 Same with, like, um, raspberries.

Joe Rogan 54:41 Oh, okay.

Fortune Feimster 54:41 Those kind of seeds.

Joe Rogan 54:42 Raspberry seeds are a little odd.

Fortune Feimster 54:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:44 They're a little odd.

Fortune Feimster 54:45 But I love the flavor of strawberries, so-

Joe Rogan 54:47 So, what do you do about it?

Fortune Feimster 54:48 I just-

Joe Rogan 54:48 You make someone peel your strawberries?

Fortune Feimster 54:50 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:50 That's what you do when you become a super baller. You're flying around in private jets getting your toes done.

Fortune Feimster 54:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:54 Just-

Fortune Feimster 54:55 That's right.

Joe Rogan 54:55 ... have someone peel your strawberries.

Fortune Feimster 54:56 I like ... They'll be like, "Why?" "'Cause I said so."

Joe Rogan 54:59 Yeah. Do it, bitch.

Fortune Feimster 55:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:00 Peel the strawberries and feed it to me.

Fortune Feimster 55:01 Do you- you don't have any texture thing? Like, you-

Joe Rogan 55:04 No.

Fortune Feimster 55:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:04 No.

Fortune Feimster 55:06 ... all good?

Joe Rogan 55:07 And I don't have any problems with texture.

Fortune Feimster 55:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:09 Yeah, I get it, though. I eat a lot of crazy shit, though.

Fortune Feimster 55:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:13 You know? I don't have any problems with-

Fortune Feimster 55:15 You're a very healthy guy.

Joe Rogan 55:16 I'm pretty healthy.

Fortune Feimster 55:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:18 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 55:19 Good for you.

Joe Rogan 55:19 Thank you. (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 55:22 (laughs) Good for you.

Joe Rogan 55:24 Do you have any aspirations to be healthy?

Fortune Feimster 55:26 Uh, (laughs) do you want to one day? I mean, I've been trying to be better.

Joe Rogan 55:30 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 55:30 I've lost, I lost 40 pounds.

Joe Rogan 55:31 That's awesome.

Fortune Feimster 55:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:32 Congratulations.

Fortune Feimster 55:33 Thank you. I mean, it's more like 32 now.

Joe Rogan 55:35 That's good enough.

Fortune Feimster 55:35 Um, but, you know, it's a s- it's a start. I mean, it-

Joe Rogan 55:38 It is a good start.

Fortune Feimster 55:39 ... it always fluctuates, but I think, uh, once I got with my fiance, she, she's very skinny.

Joe Rogan 55:44 Your partner?

Fortune Feimster 55:45 Yeah, my partner. (laughs) She's very skinny, and she comes from a healthy family.

Joe Rogan 55:48 And, and does she ever, like, pitch a crush to me?

Fortune Feimster 55:50 Well, she was just... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:52 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 55:55 Yeah, pretty much. Uh, she, she just was like, you know, we were, like, in love, and it, it was, it was new.

Joe Rogan 56:02 Right.

Fortune Feimster 56:02 We were eating out, like, 10-course meals all the time, and-

Joe Rogan 56:04 Woo! That's nice.

Fortune Feimster 56:06 Uh, you know, you're just like ... Then you're just like-

Joe Rogan 56:08 Living the high life's good.

Fortune Feimster 56:08 ... watching Netflix. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:10 Do you drink?

Fortune Feimster 56:10 I, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:11 So you're drinking wine.

Fortune Feimster 56:11 I drink, yeah, I'm drinking wine.

Joe Rogan 56:13 Ah.

Fortune Feimster 56:13 Old Fashioned is my drink.

Joe Rogan 56:15 Good times.

Fortune Feimster 56:15 And, um-

Joe Rogan 56:16 Getting a little lit-

Fortune Feimster 56:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:16 ... with the one you love.

Fortune Feimster 56:17 But we both just, like, we got engaged and saw our engagement photos, and we were like, "Oh, shit." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:24 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 56:24 Oh, shit. (laughs) Like, there's no joy in looking at our engagement photos.

Joe Rogan 56:28 Ugh.

Fortune Feimster 56:28 We're both, like, horrified. So it, like, was the catalyst. We did that Whole30 thing. You know what that is?

Joe Rogan 56:35 What's that?

Fortune Feimster 56:35 It's like for 30 days, it's an elimination diet.

Joe Rogan 56:38 Hmm.

Fortune Feimster 56:38 It's like no sugar, dair- no dairy, no gluten, soy.

Joe Rogan 56:42 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 56:42 All that stuff, uh, no alcohol, and it, it really, like, made me, for the first time, start reading labels.

Joe Rogan 56:48 Hmm.

Fortune Feimster 56:48 I started realizing, like, what all the chemicals were in foods, and it's basically eating whole foods, like meat and vegetables, basically, for a month.

Joe Rogan 56:56 And how'd it go?

Fortune Feimster 56:57 I lost 20 pounds the first round.

Joe Rogan 56:59 That's amazing.

Fortune Feimster 57:00 Kept it off and then did another round, like, six months later, lost another, like, twen- 18, 20. And I, I kept it off for a while, and then s- like, over the holidays, like-

Joe Rogan 57:09 Slip.

Fortune Feimster 57:10 ... seven pounds or so creep back in (laughs) since My-

Joe Rogan 57:12 Yeah, the sli- the holiday creep.

Fortune Feimster 57:14 Yeah, but at least I'm like ... We were trying to go hiking together 'cause I just come from a family that come from n- you know, I'm from North Carolina. We love fried food. My family's, we're big folks. And I just never really learned that nutrition thing, you know?

Joe Rogan 57:29 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 57:29 We didn't have a lot of money, and when you're poor, all the, you know, the worst foods for you are, like, a dollar.

Joe Rogan 57:35 Yeah, isn't that amazing that poor people are fat in this country?

Fortune Feimster 57:38 Yeah, it's-

Joe Rogan 57:38 Like, this is the only time in history where poor people are overweight.

Fortune Feimster 57:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:42 In the past, it was ... I mean, look at photos from, like, the 1920s when people were poor.

Fortune Feimster 57:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:46 They had sunken cheekbones-

Fortune Feimster 57:48 Like gaunt, yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:48 ... and they were l- they're trying not to starve to death.

Fortune Feimster 57:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:50 They just needed food.

Fortune Feimster 57:51 Yeah, so, you know, it's like when you don't have a lot of money, you do tend to go to, like, the fast food places-

Joe Rogan 57:57 Of course.

Fortune Feimster 57:58 ... that-

Joe Rogan 57:58 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 57:58 ... the food that's not good for you, so I'm almost, like, having to retrain myself and my brain as an adult, and it seems, like, backwards, like ...

Joe Rogan 58:06 You can eat pretty good at fast food-

Fortune Feimster 58:10 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:10 ... if you, if you're smart.

Fortune Feimster 58:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:12 Like, if you, like, if you can get, like, three egg McMuffins and just take away the bread.

Fortune Feimster 58:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:18 And just eat the ham and the, and the egg.

Fortune Feimster 58:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:21 And that is actually good.

Fortune Feimster 58:22 It's not bad.

Joe Rogan 58:22 It's actually good for you.

Fortune Feimster 58:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:24 Yeah, I mean, it's a bullshit egg.

Fortune Feimster 58:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:26 It's a really ... The yellow of the yolk looks like your legal pad.

Fortune Feimster 58:30 (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 58:30 You know, I mean, y- yellow ... Like, I, I buy these organic eggs. I used to have chickens, but the coyotes killed 'em all.

Fortune Feimster 58:36 Ugh, that's a bummer.

Joe Rogan 58:36 Those cunts.

Fortune Feimster 58:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:38 Cunty coyotes, but, uh-

Fortune Feimster 58:39 They, uh, my brother has chickens and same thing.

Joe Rogan 58:42 My, um, my yolks used to look like orange.

Fortune Feimster 58:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:45 And I would get 'em from the chickens that I raised 'cause I'd let 'em-

Fortune Feimster 58:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:48 ... f- roam around, but that's also how they got whacked.

Fortune Feimster 58:50 Gosh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:51 We lost a bunch of 'em that way, and then-

Fortune Feimster 58:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:52 ... we lost more of 'em because, uh, they broke into the chicken coop and killed 'em all.

Fortune Feimster 58:56 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 58:56 But I buy 'em now from this, uh, organic company that lets their chickens free range-

Fortune Feimster 59:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:01 ... and they're dark, dark, i- uh, healthy yolks.

Fortune Feimster 59:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:05 You don't get that from McDonald's, unfortunately.

Fortune Feimster 59:07 No.

Joe Rogan 59:07 But you still get eggs, which are good for you-

Fortune Feimster 59:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:10 ... and ham, which is not bad for you.

Fortune Feimster 59:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:12 And you can, you could be pretty good.

Fortune Feimster 59:14 Yeah, I think where I get messed up is the road.

Joe Rogan 59:18 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 59:18 The road's hard for me-

Joe Rogan 59:19 Sure.

Fortune Feimster 59:19 ... to, like, really maintain that. I need structure. I need, like, oh, I d- you know, every day, "We're gonna hike. We're gonna do this. We're gonna eat at home."

Joe Rogan 59:26 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 59:27 As soon as I start on the road, it's like, "Oh, we're," you know, "Well, we gotta taste this delicacy (laughs) from," I don't know-

Joe Rogan 59:35 Mm-hmm.

Fortune Feimster 59:35 ... Detroit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:37 Right. Well, afs- actually, after shows is a real problem for everybody because you're tired.

Fortune Feimster 59:42 (clears throat) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:43 And when you're tired, you make the worst food choices.

Fortune Feimster 59:44 For sure.

Joe Rogan 59:45 You're like, "Fucking feed me."

Fortune Feimster 59:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:47 "Cake, gimme cake."

Fortune Feimster 59:49 (laughs) Yeah, cake for breakfast.

Joe Rogan 59:49 Yeah, you want fries.

Fortune Feimster 59:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:51 Poutine. You ever have, you ever been to Montreal and had foutine?

Fortune Feimster 59:54 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:54 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 59:55 That's good.

Joe Rogan 59:56 That shit's good.

Fortune Feimster 59:56 (laughs) It's really good.

Joe Rogan 59:57 That shit with the gravy.

Fortune Feimster 59:58 Montreal has some good food.

Joe Rogan 59:59 They have some good food.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:00 There's ... One of my favorite restaurants ever is in Montreal. It's called Joe Bife.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:03 I've heard. I've never, I've, I've never been, but-

Joe Rogan 1:00:06 Oh, it's amazing.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:06 ... all the comics love that place.

Joe Rogan 1:00:07 Goddam, it's good, and the guys, uh, Fred and David, have been in here before.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 They've been on the podcast before. They're great. I was introduced to them by Bourdain.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:16 It's a good steakhouse, right?

Joe Rogan 1:00:17 They have everything.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:18 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 It's a French restaurant.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:20 Oh, gotcha.

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 And it's spectacular food.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 Yeah. It's the first time I ever ate horse.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:23 Oof. I had horse in Switzerland by accident.

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 By accident?

Fortune Feimster 1:00:27 It was-

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 It was bovine.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:28 ... gnarly. (laughs) I didn't-

Joe Rogan 1:00:30 What'd you think it was?

Fortune Feimster 1:00:30 Again, that texture, man. It tasted-

Joe Rogan 1:00:32 Oh.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:32 ... like a raw hamburger patty.

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 Oh, well, it was probably tartare. It was probably horse tartare.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:36 Yeah, but I didn't order that. I ordered a hamburger.

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Oh.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 (laughs) So you thought you were getting a hamburger, and they gave you raw horsemeat?

Fortune Feimster 1:00:44 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 Wow.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:45 It was, like, sort of-

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 They were like, "Listen, bitch, I'll tell you what to eat."

Fortune Feimster 1:00:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:49 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 1:00:49 Like, "You're gonna get some horse."

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 (gasps)

Fortune Feimster 1:00:50 I ate, I bit down on it, and then I was like, "Ugh."

Joe Rogan 1:00:56 (laughs)

Fortune Feimster 1:00:58 "Ugh." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 Like my dog in the car.

Fortune Feimster 1:00:59 Yeah. I know.

Joe Rogan 1:01:00 It is interesting what we d- we choose to eat and what we choose not to eat. I went down a homesteading rabbit hole last night.... for whatever reason.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 You know, sometimes I go on these YouTube rabbit holes, and last night, I spent an hour watching videos of people who raise all of their own food in a-

Fortune Feimster 1:01:16 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 ... homestead.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:17 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 And, uh, this one guy was talking about rabbits, and he raises rabbits.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 And he has these rabbits in hutches.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:24 These hutches, and then, then they, they keep them and, and eat them.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 And he was like, "Two rabbits will give you 600 pounds of meat a year."

Fortune Feimster 1:01:34 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 Yes. Two rabbits.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:37 'Cause they fuck so much.

Fortune Feimster 1:01:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:01:39 And they make so many rabbit babies-

Fortune Feimster 1:01:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 ... and they keep doing it, and then you mix them up and make them fuck them-

Fortune Feimster 1:01:44 Mm-hmm. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 ... and they all fuck each other and they make more rabbits. And then you keep feeding those rabbits. And the other thing that he was saying was the rabbit poop is, like, the best fertilizer on Earth. It's-

Fortune Feimster 1:01:52 I've never... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 ... amazing fertilizer. And you scatter the rabbit poop, and also, the birds will actively peck at the rabbit poop and they will turn the rabbit poop. They'll, they actually turn-

Fortune Feimster 1:02:03 Fold it.

Joe Rogan 1:02:03 ... the soil for you.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 They fold it into the soil for you.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:06 Man.

Joe Rogan 1:02:07 Crazy.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:07 There's people living off the land, right?

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 Yeah. Well, this guy was living off the land. He seemed a little odd.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:12 (laughs) Usually-

Joe Rogan 1:02:12 They always are.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:13 ... they're a little, they're a little-

Joe Rogan 1:02:15 Yeah.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:15 ... when they're off the grid and, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 He was homeschooling his children, you know, the whole deal.

Fortune Feimster 1:02:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:20 Like, "Jesus is coming back, and when he does, we're gonna give him rabbit meat."

Fortune Feimster 1:02:23 That's... (laughs) Everybody's got a bunker.

Joe Rogan 1:02:25 "Jesus is coming back."

Fortune Feimster 1:02:27 (laughs)