Joe Rogan Experience #1446 - Bert Kreischer

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   And we're live. Cheers,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      And we're live. Cheers, sir.

   2. BKBert Kreischer0:06

      Cheers, brother.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      Yeah. While the world is on fire, we might as well get a little- a little fucked up. Just a little bit.

   4. BKBert Kreischer0:11

      I've been clean- I've been clean for seven days.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Mm.

   6. BKBert Kreischer0:14

      No booze.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      No nothing?

   8. BKBert Kreischer0:15

      No nothing.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      You look good. Your face looks good.

   10. BKBert Kreischer0:17

       I know. It's- I can starting to see a- a direct difference when I quit drinking.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       Do you feel trapped by your image, by your party image?

   12. BKBert Kreischer0:26

       I would never have said yes until this week. I've exhaled for the first time in a very big way, like where I was like- I was like-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Right.

   14. BKBert Kreischer0:35

       ... no road. I'm not- I'm not doing social media. I'm- I mean, I'm doing stories and stuff, but I'm not trying to put... Like, when things shut down, I kinda shut down with America, and I was like... Yesterday, man, I sat in a hammock sober for, like, fucking two hours and just relaxed.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       It is nice to be home for a while. It is nice. You- you realize what a beating our lifestyle takes on your body, the travel, and then if you're boozing, too, the travel and the boozing together. So, uh, we should tell everybody what we learned today. Um, I'm revising my thinking about this virus because of Michael Yeo. Michael Yeo caught it. Michael Yeo is healthy as fuck. He's- he's not- he's not in any high-risk group. Like, he's not- he doesn't have any preexisting conditions. He's in shape. And, uh, he got it, and he got pneumonia too, and he said it was a double combination, and he thought he was gonna die. And he was in the hospital, uh, for over a week, and four days ago, he said he thought he was gonna die. That's fucking terrifying 'cause Michael Yeo is healthy. He's not some 80-year-old man.

   16. BKBert Kreischer1:41

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:41

       Um, I talked to my friend, uh, Dr. Peter Attia. Uh, he's a physician, and he, uh, gave me-

   18. BKBert Kreischer1:47

       That's the guy that swam from Maui.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:49

       Yes. He swam all the islands. He's a fucking straight-up savage. So his take... I- this is my question to him. I said, "This is crazy shit. Uh, what is your take on how so many people experience very few symptoms, but others get wrecked?" And he said, "I still think most people below 55 sail through it. I've had two patients get it, uh, shitty cold and loss of a sense of smell and taste, which probably returns soon. But still, a small fraction of these folks get hurt. I know a doc taking care of a 28-year-old fitness instructor on a ventilator in New York City today." "Why?" He said, "Maybe some genetic predisposition. We know blood types matters. Uh, A is the worst. O is the best based on antibodies."

   20. BKBert Kreischer2:34

       Bam.

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:34

       He said, uh... I'm O positive.

   22. BKBert Kreischer2:36

       Me too.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:36

       He said, "But I- I don't think that explains more than some of it. Maybe shit like vaping," he said. "Still too soon to tell." Uh, he is a straight-up, no-nonsense, no-bullshit guy, and, uh, I listen to everything he says. So, um, when guys like him are concerned, I get concerned, and he's concerned. He's con-... This is a weird disease. Another thing that he said, "It's weird that it seems that people who spend more time with this get it worse." He's like, "It's not like..." You know, like- like, doctors in hospitals with prolonged exposure get it really bad. Uh, nurses in hospitals with prolonged exposure seem to get it really bad. Whereas some people get it, and they don't get it bad. It's weird. It's a very, very strange disease according to doctors. And I think we're still trying to figure this out. You know, it's just... Wow. It's- it's one of those things where everyone's just sort of absorbing the information as it comes in, and you gotta be open to adjusting your opinions. And my opinions were, um, I really was concerned with old people, and I was concerned with sick people. Now, after Michael Yeo, I'm like, okay, this is not that straightforward. There- there might be some, uh, some other crazy factors here. Like, for some people, yeah, like Idris Elba, who looks fantastic, you know, fine, but maybe other people are gonna have a real hard time with it, like Michael Yeo. Like, Michael Yeo is not a sickly guy. He's a big, robust guy. That's a spooky one.

   24. BKBert Kreischer4:04

       Yeah. I mean, your- your podcast with, uh, the-

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:07

       Osterholm?

   26. BKBert Kreischer4:08

       Chicklet, Chicken Little. That scared the fuck out of me.

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:11

       Chicken Little? (laughs)

   28. BKBert Kreischer4:11

       Fucking sitting in the back of my tour bus, and I hear this. I'm like, "Oh, I've had a few cocktails. I hit a joint. Let's go to bed. Oh, cool. Who's this guy? Oh, the coronavirus. I wouldn't mind hearing a little bit about that."

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:20

       Ooh.

   30. BKBert Kreischer4:21

       Holy... First thing I did, I told Jamie, first thing I did, I sat up in bed, and I just Googled that motherfucker. I was like, "He wrote a book, didn't he?"
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (laughs) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      like this, uh, this area that we only lived there for about (sighs) maybe (sighs) less than two years. It was like a year and a half. And it was, like, an urban section of, uh, Boston that's since been gentrified apparently. Apparently it's nice now. (smacks lips) But back then it was sketchy. It was like, all kinds of, like, everyone, Irish kids, Italian kids, Black kids, Puerto Rican kids, but no one was getting good parenting. Everyone's parents smoked. (laughs)

   2. BKBert Kreischer15:24

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:24

      People were drunk, like, they'll, they'll ... Like, they were chaos people. They, they were like ... It was weird. There were wild people. Like, the whole block was filled with wild people. They weren't bad people. There wasn't like a, a crime-infested dangerous neighborhood, but it was sketchy and everyone was a mess.

   4. BKBert Kreischer15:41

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:42

      Everyone on my block. My nextdoor neighbor, we've talked about this before, they were a punk rock band called Death in the Shopping Mall and, uh, they used to play downstairs in the basement. And so, uh, they had these thick layers of carpet set up in the basement. So they had carpet all over the door, carpet all over the ceiling, many, many, many, many, many layers. And these guys would fucking go off in there (imitates rock music) playing guitar and fucking screaming. And I was, I guess I was 11, no, 13? Yeah, I was 13 years old, 'cause it was, uh, middle, it was middle school right before I went to high school. So I was 13 years old and, uh, I was, like, fascinated, because I was just becoming a teenager.

   6. BKBert Kreischer16:22

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:22

      And I did ... Living next door to these fucking savages, these savages. They just were playing crazy fucking loud music and-

   8. BKBert Kreischer16:30

      And you didn't see punk rock people a lot back then.

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:33

      No.

   10. BKBert Kreischer16:33

       I remember when there was a kid at the bus stop on Dale Mabry and he had a punk rock haircut and every morning guard driving to school had, "We'll look at him."

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:39

       Just- (laughs)

   12. BKBert Kreischer16:39

       And be like, "He has a mohawk. His mom let him have a mohawk."

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:42

       Well, I went, I went from San Francisco to Gainesville, Florida, which was a college town-

   14. BKBert Kreischer16:48

       You went to Gainesville?

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:49

       Yeah. I was in Gainesville, Florida when I was 11 to 13.

   16. BKBert Kreischer16:52

       You and River Phoenix.

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:54

       River Phoenix and, uh, Ted Bundy.

   18. BKBert Kreischer16:56

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:56

       That guy too. (laughs)

   20. BKBert Kreischer16:57

       Don't get me started on Ted Bundy.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:59

       It's all roses. (laughs) But, uh, so we lived there for a little bit and that was, like, just kinda college people in, in the apartments we lived in, just regular folks. It was, um, nothing crazy. You didn't really see too much craziness involv- uh, uh, as far as crime or, uh, sketchy folks. Everyone was pretty normal, different races, different backgrounds, but, you know, just people li- ... Apartment life, you know?

   22. BKBert Kreischer17:23

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan17:24

       But then when we moved to Boston, man, those kids were wild. They'd break into, uh, fucking warehouse buildings-

   24. BKBert Kreischer17:28

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:29

       ... and they were in this ... They ... Everyone knew how to steal a car. They were like 13. They, they were all smoking. Everyone was smoking. Like, I immediately went into this crazy environment of whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, I was like my dog Marshall in, like, a room-

   26. BKBert Kreischer17:41

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:41

       ... full of, like, rabid German shepherds. I was like-

   28. BKBert Kreischer17:43

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:43

       ... "Hey, guys."

   30. BKBert Kreischer17:44

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah, well, there's a…

   1. BKBert Kreischer30:00

      in LA.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      Yeah, well, there's a lot of people that, like, don't ... they don't train their dogs well, and their dogs are, like, really aggressive, and they, they jump up on people. And, you know, imagine if it was a bear that did that. (coughs) Just the responsibility. Look at the length of its neck. It's so crazy. They have such long necks. But the ... Just what it is, it's, it's ... You know, the, the animal that it is, it seems ridiculous that you should be able to have that in your backyard. Like, that's a polar bear.

   3. BKBert Kreischer30:28

      Yeah. Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:28

      I gotta know where that guy lives. Where is that g- does it say?

   5. BKBert Kreischer30:30

      Oh, it's gotta be Ohio.... Oklahoma.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:32

      (laughs)

   7. BKBert Kreischer30:33

      One of those cities. Ohio seems like a-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:35

      Do you remember the one guy who, uh, shot himself and let all the animals out?

   9. BKBert Kreischer30:37

      Yeah, they talk about that on the fucking thing.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       Oh, yeah.

   11. JVJamie Vernon30:39

       (laughs)

   12. BKBert Kreischer30:39

       That's part of the reason that it's illegal to have, uh, fucking big cats in Ohio.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:43

       'Cause of that guy, yeah.

   14. BKBert Kreischer30:43

       I live in Ohio and raised ... I would ... I like those Savannah cats. Kind ... Uh, Anthony Cumia has.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       Oh.

   16. BKBert Kreischer30:50

       He has-

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       Yeah.

   18. BKBert Kreischer30:50

       Maybe he has Bengals.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       Yeah, servals?

   20. BKBert Kreischer30:52

       S- yeah, I like those.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       Is that ... Uh, isn't that what they're called? Serval cats?

   22. JVJamie Vernon30:55

       Serval cat, yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       Yeah. Those are, uh, apparently never really tame. They're never really tame.

   24. BKBert Kreischer31:01

       Are dogs though?

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       Well, there's ... I think maybe it was Jon Jones. I think Jon Jones has a couple of them, but he was feeding them like, uh ... It was either Jon Jones or someone else who had them. W- I know Jon has some big cats. I don't know if-

   26. BKBert Kreischer31:12

       I bet he does. (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       Yeah. He's a wild man.

   28. BKBert Kreischer31:14

       I want to party with that guy.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       Is ... No, you don't.

   30. BKBert Kreischer31:15

       Yes, I do. (laughs)
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      You probably only got the newspaper or on the radio back then and everybody-

   2. BKBert Kreischer45:03

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:03

      ... had to huddle around at a certain time and those are the masters of information. Whatever they said, that was it. But now you get all sorts of conflicting information, even from doctors, man. I've read doctors that think it's nothing and then I've read doctors that were terrified. It's like, "Whoa, this is nuts." And then, you know, you look at... Uh, I don't know if you've been paying attention to what these senators did. Uh, there's, uh, some senators, they had a behind closed doors meeting about the coronavirus in China and what it could mean to the United States and, you know, the various impacts, and they went out and sold their stock.

   4. BKBert Kreischer45:39

      Immediately.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:40

      Dude. And then they... But, but at the same time, they were talking about how under control the government had it and how we're prepared and how it's gonna be fine. And meanwhile, they knew. They knew, so they had two faces. They had a public face that they were giving to us to try to keep us calm, and then they had a private face which realized that the stock market was gonna take a huge loss and so they sold everything and made immense profits based on the information that they found out from these closed door meetings about the coronavirus.

   6. BKBert Kreischer46:09

      How are they supposed to ha-

   7. JRJoe Rogan46:10

      How is that legal?

   8. BKBert Kreischer46:11

      How are they supposed to handle, though, out of, like... Legally, what are they supposed to do?

   9. JRJoe Rogan46:14

      (sighs) Well, I-

   10. BKBert Kreischer46:14

       'Cause that makes it confusing.

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:15

       I don't know what constitutes insider trading. How does that work? Do you understand how that works? Like, if you have-

   12. BKBert Kreischer46:22

       I do not.

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:22

       ... information that can allow you to make money, well, isn't that, like, what everyone's trying to do? Like, if you... Like, what is the point of playing the stock market if you don't know things? And if you do know things, if you know more because you know the guy who's the president and he tells you something about something they're gonna do and you're not supposed to trade then-

   14. BKBert Kreischer46:36

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:36

       ... because of that information? Like, all right. Okay. I... You know, I'm sure there's a logic to it. I'm a moron. Don't run it by me. But if that's in- insider trading, well, what is it with the senators do? If they knew that the coronavirus was gonna wreck our economy, if they knew that it was coming down like a fucking storm of hail that no one could stop, if they knew, and then they bailed out and made immense profits, (sighs) that seems so shady.

   16. BKBert Kreischer47:01

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan47:01

       That seems so shady that they didn't advise people. Like, you're supposed to be a leader, right? If you're in a position of an elected representative, you're supposed to be acting in the position of a leader. And if your way to lead is tell people one thing but act in a completely different direction, tell people everything's gonna be fine, but then start selling your stock at a profit and you don't tell other people to do it because you're worried that maybe that information is gonna cause some ripple effect and it's gonna destroy the economy even before the coronavirus hits just out of panic and fear and people are gonna act wrong. But you acted in a different way than the way you were talking. You acted like this shit was gonna be real. You acted like this is gonna be a real problem. And then the question is, like, how much of a problem did they think it was gonna be? Maybe they dumped their stock, they thought it was gonna be a little problem. Would that be okay? Well, but if they found out it was gonna be a huge problem, then it's not. Well, that seems weird to me too. Like, I don't know what should the rules be with information in the stock market. The stock market is gross.

   18. BKBert Kreischer48:00

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan48:00

       Like, it's gr-... The whole thing's gross. Like, what are we basing our economy on, this fucking madness?

   20. BKBert Kreischer48:06

       This is... It's not, it's not the way that the 2000- 2009 breakdown was. 2008 when the stock market crashed-

   21. JRJoe Rogan48:11

       Yeah.

   22. BKBert Kreischer48:11

       ... it was based on literal numbers and, and investments.

   23. JRJoe Rogan48:14

       This is real.

   24. BKBert Kreischer48:15

       This is based... No, no, I would actually say that one was more real than this one. This is a... The stock market's crashed in a way that you're going, like, it's based on... I, I mean, I, I know that it's, it's for commercial businesses, their loan's gonna come up and it's gonna be tough for them. But at some point you're like, "I wish you could just put it on freeze and go, 'Hey, let's come back in like two months and let's start where we were. Let's make sure everyone was fed.'" Like, that's...

   25. JRJoe Rogan48:41

       (sighs)

   26. BKBert Kreischer48:41

       But-

   27. JRJoe Rogan48:41

       But this is the mo- the ultimate real because if, if it's supposed to be about confidence and things rising and falling, this is like the ultimate expression of that. There's no confidence. You can't work.

   28. BKBert Kreischer48:54

       Yeah, you're right. You're right.

   29. JRJoe Rogan48:54

       Of course it's gonna crash. If it doesn't crash here, then it's nonsense.

   30. BKBert Kreischer48:58

       Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:08

   It was such, it…

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      dick and you're letting him know he can't be a dick to you, but let's relax. Let's relax.

   2. BKBert Kreischer1:00:04

      It was such, it was such ...

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      It's provoked, though, and he was trying to get out of it. Like, he got s- ... You know what it's like? It's like doing jujitsu and you make a terrible mistake and all of a sudden you're trapped in someone's triangle. You just gotta tap out.

   4. BKBert Kreischer1:00:16

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      You gotta tap out and you gotta f- live to fight another day. You got caught. Don't get your neck fucked up.

   6. BKBert Kreischer1:00:21

      Yeah. (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

      You know, don't, don't let this guy hurt you.

   8. BKBert Kreischer1:00:24

      (laughs) Oh.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:24

      And when he was trying to s- like, save ego when the guy called him Fredo-

   10. BKBert Kreischer1:00:29

       That ... First of all, the guy that called him Fredo is a cunt- (laughs) ... because, because that's such a shit move to do. Like, just, just as a passerby. They did it to-

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       Yeah.

   12. BKBert Kreischer1:00:37

       ... fucking ... They did it to George Lopez at a Hooters one time, like c- like- (laughs) ... some guy-

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       George Lopez? Who did it to George Lopez?

   14. BKBert Kreischer1:00:43

       Someone did it to George ... I think it was George Lopez. Said something like, uh, uh, build a wall or something, and George ... And they videotape it. They want, they wanna go viral. That's what they want. Oh. So they call him- Right. ... Fredo- Right. Right. ... and they're videotaping it. And they're looking for reaction so they can get views. That's a cunt move.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:58

       Yeah.

   16. BKBert Kreischer1:00:59

       But Fredo made me giggle.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

       It's funny.

   18. BKBert Kreischer1:01:00

       It's such a funny fucking-

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

       It's such a silly thing to say. But to say that that's like the N-word to African Americans, dude, nobody owned Fredo. Stop.

   20. BKBert Kreischer1:01:08

       It was so ...

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       Relax.

   22. BKBert Kreischer1:01:09

       He almost made it- (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:10

       That's so silly.

   24. BKBert Kreischer1:01:10

       ... more enjoyable. I was watching that-

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:12

       It didn't make it more enjoyable. It was so ridiculous.

   26. BKBert Kreischer1:01:14

       It's-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:14

       If you watch Godfather II, you wouldn't be able to think of anything but Chris Cuomo when you're watching that scene.

   28. BKBert Kreischer1:01:19

       No-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:19

       You think of him.

   30. BKBert Kreischer1:01:20

       I think ab- I ... (laughs)

Episode duration: 3:21:26