Joe Rogan Experience #1449 Bryan Callen

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Yeehaw! …

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Yeehaw!

   2. BCBryan Callen0:02

      Here we are. My, my, my-

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      Are you a shooter?

   4. BCBryan Callen0:05

      Well, dude, my ears are, are covered for the second time today. I'm just gonna say that.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      Yeah.

   6. BCBryan Callen0:11

      And I'm a, I'm a... Ask me like you... Ask me if... What'd you-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Are you a shooter?

   8. BCBryan Callen0:15

      That's funny. I'm a tactical-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Are you an operator or something?

   10. BCBryan Callen0:17

       I'm a tactical shooter, bro. I'm a tactical shooter.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       So you ever done... We did, we went to Tarrant Tactical today and, and, uh-

   12. BCBryan Callen0:24

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       ... Brian Cowan learned the ins and outs.

   14. BCBryan Callen0:26

       Learned how to lean forward.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Yeah.

   16. BCBryan Callen0:27

       Had some Navy SEAL instruction as well.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       Yeah. How to hold the pistol correctly.

   18. BCBryan Callen0:30

       By Bubba Corraler. Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       How'd you feel?

   20. BCBryan Callen0:33

       I love it.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Fun, right?

   22. BCBryan Callen0:34

       I've been doing it in my head forever.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Oh, in your head?

   24. BCBryan Callen0:36

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       That doesn't really work, does it?

   26. BCBryan Callen0:37

       I've rehearsed, I've rehearsed killing a gang many times.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Pfft. A whole gang?

   28. BCBryan Callen0:42

       Being surrounded. Sure. Lean in, kikiki. And I go like this.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Why don't you shoot them in the knee and rehabilitate them?

   30. BCBryan Callen0:47

       Oh, that's such a good idea. I... Because they don't have knee targets. If they had just a bunch of knees-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      IV drips.

   2. BCBryan Callen15:01

      Oh.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Which is pretty fucking amazing.

   4. BCBryan Callen15:02

      What is NAD?

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      Uh, that's the stuff that David Sinclair was talking about.

   6. BCBryan Callen15:06

      Well, let's get-

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:06

      The anti-aging.

   8. BCBryan Callen15:07

      Oh, Bri on the, on-

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Yeah.

   10. BCBryan Callen15:08

       ... on the NAD train.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:09

       Oh, Bri might be a little cheap. It's expensive.

   12. BCBryan Callen15:11

       Oh, yeah?

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:11

       Yeah, it costs, it costs a pretty penny.

   14. BCBryan Callen15:13

       I wanna live forever.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:14

       Okay, well, we'll-

   16. BCBryan Callen15:15

       What, what did it-

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:15

       We'll talk afterwards.

   18. BCBryan Callen15:16

       Okay.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:16

       I don't know. I've done two, and I feel pretty good. You feel any different, Jamie?

   20. GFGuest (unidentified, likely in-studio friend/producer)15:19

       Yeah, no, I, I can probably say I feel pretty good.

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:22

       Yeah.

   22. GFGuest (unidentified, likely in-studio friend/producer)15:22

       Especially-

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:22

       Feel pretty good.

   24. GFGuest (unidentified, likely in-studio friend/producer)15:22

       ... sitting around w- inside.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:24

       Yeah.

   26. GFGuest (unidentified, likely in-studio friend/producer)15:24

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan15:24

       But it feels like the second one really took it over the top.

   28. GFGuest (unidentified, likely in-studio friend/producer)15:27

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       What does the second one-

   30. BCBryan Callen15:28

       But f-
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah, but it's, it…

   1. BCBryan Callen30:00

      ... Whatever it is. Learning how to do something, learning how to play tennis, whatever the fuck it is. When you learn how to do something and you suck at it at first and you have to w- concentrate on getting better, that thing of getting better translates to other aspects of your life. And it's a skill. Getting better at stuff is a skill. It doesn't mean that because you're- It's a mindset.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:19

      Yeah, but it's, it doesn't mean that because you're good at archery, you'll be good at learning how to play the piano. But if you can get good at learning how to play the piano, you can get good at archery.

   3. BCBryan Callen30:29

      Yes.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:29

      Because it's, there's a thing in there of learning how to learn.

   5. BCBryan Callen30:32

      Well, that's a, that's ... So learning how to learn a lot of times is as simple as once you learn how to do one thing well, like I said, that's why one thing informs the other. I think what happens is if you're in a new situation like we were today, you get better ... At least I'm better at getting out of my own way.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:47

      Yeah.

   7. BCBryan Callen30:47

      You get better at not overthinking, you get better at relaxing. It's the same ... A lot of times it's the same body position. It's the same weight distribution sometimes. It's, it's very similar. Like a lot of these things ha- have ... They're similar language, but mainly they're also a similar mindset.

   8. JRJoe Rogan31:01

      Mm-hmm.

   9. BCBryan Callen31:02

      You just put yourself in that softer, that softer beginner's mind. That idea of kinda like, you know, just, just don't, just open up. Open your mind and just, just let it come to you.

   10. JRJoe Rogan31:11

       Well, it's also ...... accepting that you don't know things.

   11. BCBryan Callen31:14

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan31:14

       A lot of men, in particular, are really bad at learning stuff.

   13. BCBryan Callen31:19

       Oh, yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:19

       Because they alwa- they wanna think that they know already.

   15. BCBryan Callen31:22

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:22

       So even when you tell them stuff, they wanna think they, they know. "Yeah, I got it. I got it." But-

   17. BCBryan Callen31:27

       Problem sol- well, 'cause men are natural problem solvers. I have a joke about that where I say, "I don't know anything about cars, nothing. But if there's a woman on the side of the road with her hood up, looking at her engine, I'll make suggestions." (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:39

       Yeah.

   19. BCBryan Callen31:39

       And it's, it's true. And I've done that. Like, I'll be like, "Well, check the spark plug." Yeah, I don't- (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:45

       Yeah. Well, today, with engines, you, good luck.

   21. BCBryan Callen31:48

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:48

       No one knows what's going on in there.

   23. BCBryan Callen31:50

       Computers.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:50

       You ever see what it looks like when they open up a brand new nine- like, 992, uh, 2020 Porsche?

   25. BCBryan Callen31:56

       No.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:56

       The hood? Pull up, opening up the hood on a 2020 Porsche. It's the most ridiculous thing ever.

   27. BCBryan Callen32:04

       Really?

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:05

       E- you have no idea what anything is.

   29. BCBryan Callen32:07

       God.

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:07

       You have no, no-
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   I was like, "You…

   1. BCBryan Callen45:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      I was like, "You tell me where we're going. I'm going. I'll go."

   3. BCBryan Callen45:03

      Right.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:03

      He, he's like, "Let's go to Montana. Let's go to fucking Billings, Montana. We'll open up a comedy club."

   5. BCBryan Callen45:07

      I like Billings.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      I like Billings too. We were in Billings.

   7. BCBryan Callen45:10

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:10

      Yeah. When we, we hunted the Missouri Breaks the first time we ever hunted.

   9. BCBryan Callen45:13

      See, see, really we should ... We could create a ... We could literally start a comedy club somewhere, Greg.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:16

       Oh, yeah, we could.

   11. BCBryan Callen45:17

       Like, Boise doesn't have a comedy club, from what I understand.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:20

       Uh, yeah, it does.

   13. BCBryan Callen45:20

       Maybe they have a small one.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       No, Boise has a club.

   15. BCBryan Callen45:22

       All right, so ... Coeur d'Alene. I don't know. Somewhere really nice.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       Yeah. Listen, we could m- for sure do a comedy club somewhere, or move to a place like Salt Lake that has comedy clubs-

   17. BCBryan Callen45:33

       Mm-hmm.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:33

       ... and, and 100,000 fucking people, or whatever they have out there. But the idea of staying here just seems so silly. It seems so silly.

   19. BCBryan Callen45:41

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       Especially, while you're still in show business. You're still sucking on the tit-

   21. BCBryan Callen45:46

       Yes.

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       ... of the devil.

   23. BCBryan Callen45:47

       Yes, I am.

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       You've got the devil's nipple in your mouth.

   25. BCBryan Callen45:49

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       And you're just (kissing sounds) . You still going to red carpets. (kissing sounds)

   27. BCBryan Callen45:53

       Yeah. I've also gotten ... Probably the ******* the kid. We're not getting Schaub to move anywhere 'cause then Schaub would be like, "You pussies."

   28. JRJoe Rogan45:58

       Oh, he says that.

   29. BCBryan Callen46:00

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:00

       All it would take is one more of these things.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:02:08

   (laughs) …

   1. BCBryan Callen1:00:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      (laughs)

   3. BCBryan Callen1:00:00

      Do you got... You got python-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:03

      Yeah. So many.

   5. BCBryan Callen1:00:03

      ... python cock ring?

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

      So many cock rings.

   7. BCBryan Callen1:00:05

      They all exist.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      Yeah, like, who's buying sex toys from stores these days? You ever drive by one of them sex toy stores, and you're like, "For real?"

   9. BCBryan Callen1:00:13

      It's a ghost town.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

       Who's, who's in there? They're open still. Are those money-laundering-

   11. BCBryan Callen1:00:17

       The Hustler Store.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

       ... operations?

   13. BCBryan Callen1:00:18

       Maybe, but the Hustler Store is still open, I think, on Sunset Boulevard.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

       Is it?

   15. BCBryan Callen1:00:22

       That's more of a thing for you and your girlfriend to go in line, "Eeh, eeh, eeh, let's get this."

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

       "Well, eeh, eeh, eeh." Well, it used to be DVDs. I remember it used to be, like... You remember when peos- people used to buy porn DVDs? There was a day... You fucking kids today are so spoiled.

   17. BCBryan Callen1:00:36

       And VHS porn.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       Oh, yeah. Oh, I remember that.

   19. BCBryan Callen1:00:39

       That was when I used to watch porn. You know, I, I never... And this is all bullshit aside. And I'm, not because I'm a good boy. I never watched porn... I never ever watched porn because it doesn't do a thing for me.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

       Really?

   21. BCBryan Callen1:00:51

       I, I don't know what it is. I just... No, I swear to God.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:53

       'Cause you're tired from fucking all the time.

   23. BCBryan Callen1:00:54

       I thought about... I thought about that the other day. I was like, "I haven't watched porn in-"

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:58

       Three days? (laughs)

   25. BCBryan Callen1:01:00

       ... since I was 52. Uh-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

       (laughs)

   27. BCBryan Callen1:01:03

       ... I, I haven't watched porn in so many years.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       Because you're tired from all your fucking.

   29. BCBryan Callen1:01:06

       Yeah, all my banging.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:07

       Because you're fucking.

Episode duration: 2:47:15