Joe Rogan Experience #1462 - Kurt Metzger

Joe Rogan 0:00 (mimicking a drum roll) And we're live.

Kurt Metzger 0:03 Hey.

Joe Rogan 0:03 Look at you-

Kurt Metzger 0:04 Boy.

Joe Rogan 0:04 ... smoking a blunt.

Kurt Metzger 0:05 I know. I've-

Joe Rogan 0:05 This is your celebratory blunt.

Kurt Metzger 0:07 Holy shit, dude. I- I'm still a little bit-

Narrator 0:10 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 0:10 That felt like getting a AIDS test.

Narrator 0:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:13 But you're clean. You're good.

Kurt Metzger 0:14 I know. It's weird. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:16 But you knew you were healthy. You feel good.

Kurt Metzger 0:18 Yeah. I haven't felt like I had something.

Joe Rogan 0:20 So you were aware you were one of the asymptomatic people.

Kurt Metzger 0:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:23 They said as many as 60 to 70% could be asymptomatic.

Kurt Metzger 0:27 Right. So, like, I don't wanna-

Joe Rogan 0:28 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 0:28 ... I don't have it, but then I gotta drive all the way back. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:30 Well, that's why it's such a creepy disease. Like, there was a Anderson Cooper thing that, that was, we were talking about it earlier, where the mayor of Las Vegas was on with Anderson Cooper.

Kurt Metzger 0:38 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:38 And, uh, he was describing to her how one asymptomatic people, person can go to a restaurant, and it showed this chart of all the people that infected, got infected by this one. So, he's trying to say to her-

Kurt Metzger 0:50 How are they getting infected? Just the air?

Joe Rogan 0:52 Just the air. Yeah. So he's trying to tell... This is completely theoretical. First of all, I don't know... The, the, the people that are saying this from Chi- I mean, I, I, I mean, maybe they touched the same things, maybe there was a bunch of different factors.

Kurt Metzger 1:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07 I don't know. I'm guessing it was just because of the air. But I don't trust a goddamn thing they're saying that's coming from China.

Kurt Metzger 1:14 Yeah, no, no. I wouldn't. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:15 If anything they say, if they're saying something, it's been approved by the government.

Kurt Metzger 1:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:19 You know what I mean? It's not like these doctors-

Kurt Metzger 1:20 What's that paper, uh, The Epoch Times? There's, like, a paper that-

Joe Rogan 1:23 Epoch? I think it's Epoch Times.

Kurt Metzger 1:25 Yeah, Epoch Times. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25 What is that?

Kurt Metzger 1:26 They, it's like, they'll be critical of China, but I think the guy that owns it is a Falun Gong guy.

Joe Rogan 1:32 Oh.

Kurt Metzger 1:32 So I've seen criticism.

Joe Rogan 1:33 What is the difference?

Kurt Metzger 1:34 Well, Falun Gong's that, that persecuted Tai Chi, uh, religion in, in China.

Joe Rogan 1:39 Oh, really?

Kurt Metzger 1:40 China's fucking crazy, dude. You-

Joe Rogan 1:41 Epoch Times is a multi-language newspaper.

Kurt Metzger 1:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:43 It was founded in 2000 by John Tang and a group of Chinese-Americans-

Kurt Metzger 1:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:47 ... associated with the Falun Gang spiritual movement. So, who is he, again?

Kurt Metzger 1:52 Uh, I don't know who John Tang is, but-

Joe Rogan 1:54 No, no, no. F- Falun Gang?

Kurt Metzger 1:55 F-... Falun Gong is, like-

Joe Rogan 1:57 Falun Gong.

Kurt Metzger 1:57 ... it's like Tai Chi, but I guess China considers it a cult. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:01 What?

Kurt Metzger 2:01 So they cracked down on 'em like they're Uyghurs. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 2:04 Oh, no.

Kurt Metzger 2:06 Yeah. And i- it's, uh, yeah, it's just, like, meditation shit. I don't-

Joe Rogan 2:08 Come on. It's medit-... in, in Qigong exercises with a moral philosophy centered on tenets of truthfulness, compassion and forbearance. Holy fuck, I might have to join.

Kurt Metzger 2:17 (laughs) I know.

Joe Rogan 2:18 I've been looking for a good cult.

Kurt Metzger 2:19 The Epoch Times, guys. Get on-

Joe Rogan 2:20 I've been saying this for years. I want a good cult. Like, come up with a good one.

Kurt Metzger 2:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:24 That doesn't try to fuck me, doesn't take all my money, and it's not like-

Kurt Metzger 2:28 They're all, you know-

Joe Rogan 2:29 ... one guy gets to bang everybody's wife. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 2:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:31 It's a... That's how they always play out.

Kurt Metzger 2:31 Okay, stop banging your wife. I'm gonna bang your wife. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:34 They s-... They always play out like that.

Kurt Metzger 2:36 That's... They do that gorilla, that fucking-

Joe Rogan 2:38 Oh, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 2:38 ... classic chimpanzee-

Joe Rogan 2:40 Right, right, right.

Kurt Metzger 2:40 ... dominance thing, where you lose face and balls (laughs) and then, uh-

Joe Rogan 2:43 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 2:43 Well, uh, I would've said Jehovah's Witnesses was a good cult. If, if I sta-... 'Cause I'm not really bitter at Jehovah's Witnesses.

Joe Rogan 2:49 Well, let's tell everybody that doesn't know.

Kurt Metzger 2:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:51 Y- y-... 'Cause people might not be aware of your background. You, you grew up as a Jehovah's Witness.

Kurt Metzger 2:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:56 You're one of my friends that has, like, the most rock solid rules on not tolerating horse shit. And w- w-... Because when people start bullshitting-

Kurt Metzger 3:05 Uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:05 ... and saying nons-... You'll, you're, you're always the guy that's like, "I know where this goes."

Kurt Metzger 3:09 Yeah. Well-

Joe Rogan 3:10 "I know where this goes."

Kurt Metzger 3:10 For, for something like that, I-

Joe Rogan 3:11 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 3:11 ... I'm hyper-

Joe Rogan 3:12 Hyper vigilant.

Kurt Metzger 3:13 I am very, like, hyper sensitive to culty-

Joe Rogan 3:16 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 3:16 I just don't wanna go along with a thing 'cause you have to go along with it.

Joe Rogan 3:19 Right.

Kurt Metzger 3:20 And, like, come on. We're doing this. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:21 That attitude-

Kurt Metzger 3:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:22 ... is important.

Kurt Metzger 3:23 Well, i- i- I just... That's the reason I left Jehovah's Witnesses.

Joe Rogan 3:27 Of course.

Kurt Metzger 3:28 Was I didn't wanna have that. Then when I got out in the world, that you can't escape it. Like, the people... All these people that claim to be secular that, that jump down your throat, like, online or something like that-

Joe Rogan 3:39 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 3:39 It's all the same shit, but they-

Joe Rogan 3:40 Right.

Kurt Metzger 3:40 ... just let, got rid of the-

Joe Rogan 3:42 They got rid of the-

Kurt Metzger 3:42 ... the Jesus. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:43 Yeah, they got rid of the higher power.

Kurt Metzger 3:43 The love of Jesus Christ. They just got rid of that.

Joe Rogan 3:46 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 3:46 And kept the bullshit.

Joe Rogan 3:48 It's a pattern, right? It's a pattern.

Kurt Metzger 3:49 Yeah. Like a s-... I guess a set of habits.

Joe Rogan 3:51 Yeah. It's-

Kurt Metzger 3:51 It's comforting. A comforting routine, I guess.

Joe Rogan 3:53 But it's n-... I mean, the thing when p- when people do it to people. Like, it's, it's almost like whether they're doing it because you're not a believer in Jesus, or you're doing it because-

Kurt Metzger 4:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:02 ... you're not a vegan, or you're doing it because, uh, you don't support gender pronoun freedom.

Kurt Metzger 4:07 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:07 Like, whatever it is. Like, the, that hardcore-

Kurt Metzger 4:10 Well-

Joe Rogan 4:10 ... sort of a-... You can-

Kurt Metzger 4:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:11 ... sort of fit that mind into a bunch of different slots.

Kurt Metzger 4:14 Yeah. There's a... The, this is what I do believe from religious people. There is a human need for-

Joe Rogan 4:18 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 4:18 ... what religion fills. And it's like, you know, hey, great, you got rid of Saddam, but now who's taken over? I, I'm not so gung-ho on, uh, the, like, "We all... We need to get rid of..." Like, the Bill Maher level of atheism. Where he's like, "Grow up or die." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:32 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 4:33 That, like... I think he's not understanding-

Narrator 4:35 Ahem.

Kurt Metzger 4:35 ... you know, people, some people need that. And, and it, it's not h-... Nothing to do with smart or stupid.

Joe Rogan 4:40 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 4:40 It's a, just a very deep feeling of belonging.

Joe Rogan 4:44 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 4:44 And if you don't get it from God, there's gonna be, you know... There's worse shit to get it from.

Joe Rogan 4:50 Yes. Yes. There's some moral tenets if you g-... Like, if you really adopt Christianity. Some of my favorite people are Christians, and pretty hardcore Christians. People that I really like.

Kurt Metzger 5:01 Well, uh, look-

Joe Rogan 5:01 L- like, here's one.

Kurt Metzger 5:02 Oh, g-... A Christ-... Listen, if you ever met a Christian, they're delightful. It's just they're like unicorns. There's probably, like, (laughs) three of 'em. The rest of the people are on a football team.

Joe Rogan 5:09 You know who's a real Christian? Like, in, like, a, a, an admirable sense of the word, is Chris Pratt. Guardians of the Galaxy guy?

Kurt Metzger 5:16 Yeah, I've heard that. I've never met him.

Joe Rogan 5:17 He is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's so nice and genuine, and right there with everyone.

Kurt Metzger 5:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 5:23 He's, he's very religious. But I'll tell you what, man. If y-... If that's what it is, it's like, i- if, if following those tenets the way that guy does, it turns you into that kind of a person... He's an admirable person.

Kurt Metzger 5:35 That, that's how you're supposed to... It's not supposed to be, you know, you're preaching at people.

Joe Rogan 5:39 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 5:39 Your behavior is supposed to be the witness.

Joe Rogan 5:41 Right.

Kurt Metzger 5:42 And so people that come into it, a lot of times, that's why they do. They go, "Well, I saw this guy. I'm like, if that's what that is, I wanna be that."

Joe Rogan 5:47 You know what it's like? It's like they gotta abandon the goofy stories. If they just came out and said, "Listen, it's our belief that living in this way..."... uh, with this belief in a higher power and that holds you to a higher standard of behavior. If all of that, along with these tenants, you know, loving thy neighbor and treating each other as brothers and sisters, as if we were all one, if we- if y- just all that, you just gotta stop saying someone came back from the dead. You gotta stop saying that. And there's been all-

Kurt Metzger 6:14 Well, even those stories, even those goofy stories, which I- I- I always would say that-

Joe Rogan 6:19 Right.

Kurt Metzger 6:19 ... was saying that but, you know, when I left. But, a lot of them work as, still work as metaphors, you know?

Joe Rogan 6:25 Yes, yes.

Kurt Metzger 6:26 Um, the ones that, uh, uh, there's people at all (laughs) levels of smarts and they all need a thing to get on board, so some people need a goofy story to get on board.

Joe Rogan 6:35 Right.

Kurt Metzger 6:35 Like I said, I- I- I don't think that's the linchpin that's harming it. I think it's just, I don't, I don't believe that it transforms people's hearts. Like, there's people that I saw when I was in my re- in- in Jehovah's Witnesses that they had a fucked up life that they turned around.

Joe Rogan 6:49 Right, right.

Kurt Metzger 6:49 Okay? But I don't think that that, it fundamentally changed anything but their behavior. They were just who they were and this gave them a window to be, you know, like a good person.

Joe Rogan 6:58 Well, sometimes it's just a sc- a scaffolding.

Kurt Metzger 7:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:00 You just need something to sort of build on-

Kurt Metzger 7:02 Yeah, a structure.

Joe Rogan 7:02 ... hold onto, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 7:03 A lot of people never had a structure.

Joe Rogan 7:04 Yes. Right, right, right.

Kurt Metzger 7:04 So- so, you know, it, but if you're a psychopath, it's not gonna change you into a not a psychopath.

Joe Rogan 7:09 Right, right.

Kurt Metzger 7:10 It's gonna make, it's gonna be horrible-

Joe Rogan 7:11 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 7:11 ... 'cause you're gonna apply your psychopathic tendencies to the religion.

Joe Rogan 7:14 Well, and you see that, right?

Kurt Metzger 7:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:15 I mean, the- the worst of the evangelists, that's what you're seeing. Right? You're seeing a con man who's found, uh, a- a tool that's beyond reproach. That's a tool-

Kurt Metzger 7:23 Well, some of them are just like, you know, they're like, uh, almost like Ma- same as Marilyn Manson when he (laughs) you know, he had his thing that he did, Marilyn Manson, but he was ultimately like a guy that's gonna play golf like Alice Cooper. Like-

Joe Rogan 7:35 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 7:36 ... he's, "Hey man, I'm doing a show here." That's what those guys, you know, Steve Martin made that movie, uh, what is it called? Where he's, he, "Leap of Faith"? He plays like a TV preacher and- and he, 'cause he saw this documentary about a real guy named Margo who, uh, copied Mick Jagger. So he would go to (laughs) these churches and do like moves like Jagger (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 7:57 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 7:57 For these old ladies and they, and- and he would talk about it and he was just openly saying how it was a scam. Anything you're making money off of like that, it doesn't go together for, you know, that- that- that's how you know automatically the guy's full of shit 'cause he's making a ton of money off it.

Joe Rogan 8:11 If they're a preacher.

Kurt Metzger 8:12 Yeah. Th- for sure.

Joe Rogan 8:13 You're not supposed to get rich. Like how come Jesus didn't get rich? Right. And- and especially when you get like arena rich, like you buy an arenas.

Kurt Metzger 8:19 (laughs) Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 8:20 Like what's that guy's name? The Joel guy?

Kurt Metzger 8:21 Rich enough that you can... yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:23 Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen? Yeah. See these guys come outta nowhere.

Kurt Metzger 8:26 He's trying to do the least harm.

Joe Rogan 8:27 For me, they're like pop singers, they're like pop singers.

Kurt Metzger 8:28 Yeah. Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 8:29 I don't know about 'em until they get so huge that they break through the public vernacular.

Kurt Metzger 8:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:33 Like, it's like pop singers.

Kurt Metzger 8:34 Like I just learned who Billie Eilish was. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:37 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 8:37 I didn't know this whole time.

Joe Rogan 8:39 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 8:39 I'm like, "She doesn't know who Van Halen?"

Joe Rogan 8:41 My sister had to inform me about Adele. She goes, "You know that song Hello?" I go, "No, I don't know that song." And she had a, she had a program.

Kurt Metzger 8:47 You never had heard it just like-

Joe Rogan 8:48 No. No. I've been for- fortunate to dodge-

Kurt Metzger 8:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:53 ... a lot of pop.

Kurt Metzger 8:53 I count myself-

Joe Rogan 8:53 Not her, not in a bad way against her. I think she's got an amazing voice, don't get me wrong. She's super talented.

Kurt Metzger 8:57 You just happen to see a lot of horse shit.

Joe Rogan 8:58 I s- dude, I'm old.

Kurt Metzger 8:59 You're, no, very talented.

Joe Rogan 9:00 I'm an old white guy who likes rap music and classic rock. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 9:06 (laughs) "Hey, I'm just an old white, I like my classic rock."

Joe Rogan 9:09 I like, uh, Led Zeppelin. I like, uh-

Kurt Metzger 9:12 Oh, yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 9:13 I like old hip hop.

Kurt Metzger 9:13 So you knew who Van Halen was, not like Billie Eilish.

Joe Rogan 9:15 Oh, yeah. Of course. Dude, Van Halen. But it's just like at a certain point in time, it's like I- I'm taking in too much music. I don't have time for all this new stuff.

Kurt Metzger 9:24 Yeah, well.

Joe Rogan 9:25 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 9:25 That, I- there's an age where I was like, "Weren't we just talking about a different-"

Joe Rogan 9:29 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 9:29 "... something I didn't care about?" Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:31 Well, you know what's interesting about music is like our lifetimes and our parents' lifetimes are like the first times in human history where people had music collected-

Kurt Metzger 9:40 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 9:40 ... where they could listen to it over and over and over again. Right?

Kurt Metzger 9:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:42 Our grand, there, our grandparents were like probably the first. Like my grandparents came over, uh, from Italy and from Ireland in the early 1900s. So when they were coming over here, I guess they had record players, but how prevalent were they? And what kind of music did they have? And like, you know-

Kurt Metzger 9:58 I thought they had to like stand around the window (laughs) of a rich person's house.

Joe Rogan 10:01 (laughs) They would all sing, harrowing.

Kurt Metzger 10:02 Like a, like a dead, somebody cra- a slave cranks the handle.

Joe Rogan 10:05 Yeah. But like, where was the recordings? You know what I'm saying? Like there weren't that prevalent. If there was-

Kurt Metzger 10:09 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 10:10 ... there- there certainly were some, you know, they had recorded music before then, but it's not like it was on your phone.

Kurt Metzger 10:15 Did-

Joe Rogan 10:15 You know?

Kurt Metzger 10:15 ... didn't we send... You know that, that gold record we sent into space that has like-

Joe Rogan 10:20 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 10:20 ... a picture of like s- man, a transphobic picture of a man and a woman (laughs) ?

Joe Rogan 10:24 Does it have a dress? Does the woman have a dress?

Kurt Metzger 10:25 The woman has a dress and there's just those two.

Joe Rogan 10:27 No. Doesn't she just have breasts? But she's, she's... Do you know what the image looks like? See if you can-

Kurt Metzger 10:32 Oh dude, it's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 10:32 You don't know, uh, one-

Kurt Metzger 10:33 And then, uh, the music, old- old, like some-

Joe Rogan 10:35 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 10:35 ... blues guy, like old- old Catfish Willie or s- you know, like some old-timey-

Joe Rogan 10:39 Something like that. Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 10:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:40 So they just got some cool shit to make us look interesting.

Kurt Metzger 10:43 It's a very old re-

Joe Rogan 10:43 Just a drawing. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 10:44 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:45 It's on gold 'cause we're flossing.

Kurt Metzger 10:46 This is what we're into, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:48 They sent it on a gold plate, you know? It was like a- a gold record.

Kurt Metzger 10:50 Yeah, it's on a gold plate and in a... But the- the drawings made me laugh 'cause they're all like stick figures. Like...

Joe Rogan 10:56 (laughs) I watched that movie Contact the other night.

Kurt Metzger 10:59 With Jodie Foster?

Joe Rogan 11:00 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 11:01 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:01 Fuck, it's amazing.

Kurt Metzger 11:02 It is, but then you're not like a-

Joe Rogan 11:04 Dude, I forgot how good it was. Holy shit is that a good movie.

Kurt Metzger 11:06 A lot of it's good, but you weren't annoyed that (laughs) the aliens are like, "We're gonna look like your dead father 'cause you couldn't handle..." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:14 No. Uh- uh- uh-

Kurt Metzger 11:14 I can handle seeing aliens.

Joe Rogan 11:16 Is it? Um... Well, there's like, but there's images of males and females.

Kurt Metzger 11:21 Yeah, they, you gotta flip it over to the B side.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Oh, it's, it's showing us. Yeah, there it is on the other side. This side. It's that.

Kurt Metzger 11:26 Yeah, where's the man and woman, uh...

Joe Rogan 11:28 Hmm. Wasn't the, but the last image that you have-

Kurt Metzger 11:30 Oh, there you go, there's two tits on the bottom.

Joe Rogan 11:31 Where?

Kurt Metzger 11:32 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:34 (laughs) Where is it? Is it, isn't it in there though?

Kurt Metzger 11:35 Yeah, I thought there was.

Joe Rogan 11:37 Hmm. Maybe it's something else we're thinking of?

Kurt Metzger 11:41 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:42 I don't know. But I- I swore there were images-

Kurt Metzger 11:44 I'm not, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:44 ... on that thing. Oh, what humans look like. Of what they were, of humans. So like why is different disks have different images? There's not more than one disk, is there?

Kurt Metzger 11:50 Are we sending mixed messages to them? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:55 (laughs) Uh, there is... something's coming up, but it's not a picture on the gold thing.

Kurt Metzger 11:58 Are there titties on this record? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:00 What do they look like? Is it recognizable?

Narrator 12:03 ... it's, it's like, uh, someone just drew it though on a piece of paper and, like I said, this is on there, the Pioneer plaque. Let me see if I can find it.

Kurt Metzger 12:09 Okay. That's what it is.

Joe Rogan 12:10 The, uh... Well, uh, whatever it is, in the movie, uh, Contact, they got that recording and they sent it back to Earth.

Kurt Metzger 12:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:17 And, uh, that movie, like, I think-

Kurt Metzger 12:19 It had a cool, like, how, how it might go down thing about it.

Joe Rogan 12:23 How, yeah. So much about it was cool.

Kurt Metzger 12:24 It's just the end. The end was like, come on, man.

Joe Rogan 12:26 And the guy who blew himself up, like, the religious dude who blew himself up, like, that was a little cartoonish. But at the end-

Kurt Metzger 12:31 I swear, I thought you were just gonna say the guy who blew himself. I'm like, "Well, that was an interesting part." I didn't... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:35 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 12:36 The-

Joe Rogan 12:36 Spoiler alert. But, uh-

Kurt Metzger 12:37 Yeah, who was the guy who blew himself up?

Joe Rogan 12:39 Uh, I think it's, uh, Gary Busey's son. J-... I think he's Jake Busey.

Kurt Metzger 12:42 Jake Busey, that's right.

Joe Rogan 12:43 Yeah. He's great in it. I met that guy recently.

Kurt Metzger 12:45 And also, the idea that, uh-

Joe Rogan 12:47 Nice guy.

Narrator 12:47 So, you gotta-

Kurt Metzger 12:47 You know.

Joe Rogan 12:47 It's something that's- He's great in this movie.

Narrator 12:49 This was, like, a piece of paper called Pioneer 10.

Joe Rogan 12:51 Oh, that's it. That's it right there.

Narrator 12:52 And this was... This was not the same as that gold thing.

Joe Rogan 12:54 Oh, okay.

Narrator 12:54 This was '72. The gold thing was '73.

Joe Rogan 12:57 Oh, okay. So then, well, this was the first then? And then the record was a different thing.

Kurt Metzger 13:00 Oh, so they're the same. Okay.

Joe Rogan 13:01 So, so... Okay. We, we conflated the two.

Narrator 13:03 It's a plaque.

Joe Rogan 13:03 So go to the image again. Let me see the image.

Kurt Metzger 13:05 Yeah. Lemme see the guy's, the guy's dong. I-... Is it... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:08 Go to the one on the left. That one right there. Yeah. Make that one big. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 13:12 How... Is that what they're gonna think dongs are in there?

Joe Rogan 13:14 He's like, "Hi, here's my dick." And she's like, "Pff."

Kurt Metzger 13:16 "Here's... Now, most human dicks don't come past the balls." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:19 And, uh, I like how the head of the woman is built like a real woman. She's not like a porn star woman.

Kurt Metzger 13:24 Well, where's your penis?

Joe Rogan 13:25 They gave her a little bit of an ass. Her penis.

Kurt Metzger 13:27 Yeah, where... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:28 He's like, "Hi."

Kurt Metzger 13:29 "Where is penis women out here?"

Joe Rogan 13:31 "I don't have clothes." (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 13:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:31 Isn't that a f-... I mean, it's a weird-

Kurt Metzger 13:33 Yeah. If they show up and think we're down to party and everybody's all bundled up.

Joe Rogan 13:37 Well, that, that image is showing us how ridiculous we, like, assume the aliens would think our clothes are.

Kurt Metzger 13:44 What... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:45 Right?

Kurt Metzger 13:45 What if the aliens send theirs back and they're fully clothed. And like, "Why did you guys..."

Joe Rogan 13:49 Yeah. Like, "Why are you doing this?"

Kurt Metzger 13:49 "We gotta check your signals."

Joe Rogan 13:50 "Did you just send me a dick pic, you fucking weirdo?"

Kurt Metzger 13:51 (laughs) "We sent a dick pic to the-"

Joe Rogan 13:52 "It's an intergalactic dick pic." (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 13:55 (laughs) We actually sent a dick pic to space.

Joe Rogan 13:57 That's what it is. It's an intergalactic dick pic. And it's an unnecessary dick pick too. Like, no one looks like that in... when they're waving to you. Right? That's very... Like, that's sending a, a bad message. Like, "Hi, I'm naked. Here I am."

Kurt Metzger 14:08 You don't, you-

Joe Rogan 14:09 No, you cover your dick and balls.

Kurt Metzger 14:10 You never waved at anyone like that?

Joe Rogan 14:10 Like, "Hey, man."

Kurt Metzger 14:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:11 "Where the fuck did you come from?"

Kurt Metzger 14:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:13 I can't just look at my dick and balls. This is weird.

Kurt Metzger 14:15 I like that they didn't really put a vagina. They just put t-... Like, "Here's the important parts."

Joe Rogan 14:20 Right. Well, you see the penis clearly. And the vagina is like, "Ugh."

Kurt Metzger 14:22 And then she Barbie Doll'd... They Barbie Doll'd the...

Joe Rogan 14:25 The woman is a little Barbie Doll. Where's her pubes? Where's everybody's pubes? Are, is this on a porno set?

Kurt Metzger 14:30 Oh, my God. We're just-

Joe Rogan 14:30 This is a porno set. How come they get hair on their head, they don't have hair in their box?

Kurt Metzger 14:34 Well, when was this sent out? They probably did have hair.

Joe Rogan 14:36 '72.

Kurt Metzger 14:37 Yeah, they-

Joe Rogan 14:37 Oh, hair is, hairy as fuck.

Kurt Metzger 14:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:38 This is misleading.

Kurt Metzger 14:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:40 This is misleading.

Kurt Metzger 14:41 So they were very futuristic back then when they did that.

Joe Rogan 14:43 Yeah, they were. They were really into porn. They were way ahead of their time.

Kurt Metzger 14:46 And why does the guy have such Caucasian hair? That's my other question.

Joe Rogan 14:49 Right, right. Like, what percentage of the population has hair that looks like that?

Kurt Metzger 14:54 (laughs) It looks like a young Noam Chomsky's hair. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:58 (laughs) It's just a weird image. It's, it's very weird.

Kurt Metzger 15:02 Hi, aliens.

Joe Rogan 15:03 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 15:04 Here's my dick.

Joe Rogan 15:05 But it's also, it's like it's weird in just that w- we're kind of acknowledging that superior intellects would think clothes are weird.

Kurt Metzger 15:13 Is that what that is?

Joe Rogan 15:14 Yeah. We're letting them know. Like, underneath all our B- Adidas and our fucking jeans, this is, this is what we have.

Kurt Metzger 15:20 They must have argued about that too.

Joe Rogan 15:21 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 15:21 They must have had, like, a long conversation.

Joe Rogan 15:23 Yes, I'm sure.

Kurt Metzger 15:23 Like-

Joe Rogan 15:24 These fucking... The people that are funding this are like, "Really? We draw on a dick and send it out to the aliens?"

Kurt Metzger 15:31 W- who is funding it?

Joe Rogan 15:32 I don't know, but...

Kurt Metzger 15:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:34 I mean, who is, who was making the calls?

Kurt Metzger 15:35 It sounds like the cowboy guy from The Simpsons. Uh-

Joe Rogan 15:37 Was probably a Nazi.

Kurt Metzger 15:39 Oh, yeah. That... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:40 Yeah. Honestly. Like, legitimately.

Kurt Metzger 15:42 That's right, didn't we get all... Like Wernher von Braun or... Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:46 Oh, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 15:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:46 Dude, Wernher von Braun was a legit Nazi. They used to hang the slowest Jews in front of his rocket factory in Berlin. Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 15:55 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 15:55 They hung them in front of every... Oh, dude. The Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive, they'd prosecute him for crimes against humanity.

Kurt Metzger 16:01 What do you mean the slowest? Did they have a race?

Joe Rogan 16:02 Like, they had something where they would m- make everybody work faster and harder by killing the slow...

Kurt Metzger 16:08 Oh, where he hung all the slow Jews. That's what-

Joe Rogan 16:10 They put the slowest guys, the slowest girls, whoever they... You know.

Kurt Metzger 16:13 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 16:14 The Jewish, uh, prisoners, and they would hang them. Yeah. Dude, there's... And-

Kurt Metzger 16:18 I remember him from, like, a Disney thing about rocket science.

Joe Rogan 16:21 He was a part of Operation Paperclip.

Kurt Metzger 16:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:23 There he is right there. And Operation Paperclip imported all these Nazi scientists to run NASA.

Kurt Metzger 16:30 I knew that.

Joe Rogan 16:31 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 16:31 But I didn't, I didn't know-

Joe Rogan 16:32 He's a part of that.

Kurt Metzger 16:32 I thought he was always like, "No, I wasn't with those guys." I was just like-

Joe Rogan 16:35 Bro, look at him chilling.

Narrator 16:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:37 Put... Go to that picture again.

Narrator 16:38 Oh, hold on. Sorry.

Joe Rogan 16:40 Just stop and think about that. This dude was a Nazi in Germany.

Kurt Metzger 16:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:44 During World War II, comes back and he's running our space program with his feet up on a desk.

Kurt Metzger 16:50 Do you wanna go to space or do you wanna get hung up on people's Nazi past?

Joe Rogan 16:54 (laughs)

Narrator 16:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:55 For real. That's what it was.

Kurt Metzger 16:55 You wanna get a dick pic to space or not?

Joe Rogan 16:58 They got this genius bilingual motherfucker to come over here and show us how rockets are done. They were ahead.

Kurt Metzger 17:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:04 They were ahead with rockets, they were ahead with engineering.

Kurt Metzger 17:06 Attell goes, they were all ahead with science 'cause they'd plug an extension cord into a Jew to try to invent a computer. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:16 (laughs) Attell.

Kurt Metzger 17:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:17 I miss him.

Kurt Metzger 17:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:18 He, he's a guy that, like, I don't want him to not be doing standup.

Kurt Metzger 17:22 Oh, I know.

Joe Rogan 17:22 For his downtime. You know, he's... Uh, I mean, I don't know anybody who does as many sets as Dave. Like-

Kurt Metzger 17:27 Oh, dude, I o-... I like call it... 'Cause I always know with Tim Call 'cause he's got... There's no n-... You know where it says no number and it's like a really ungodly hour, like... (sniggers)

Joe Rogan 17:35 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 17:35 He was killing me, dude. Like, he wa-... He wanted to make a prank show called Prankistan.

Joe Rogan 17:39 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 17:39 Where it's just Middle Easterners doing pranks on people. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:43 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 17:43 The most inappropriate pranks. Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:48 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 17:48 Uh, yeah. Uh-

Joe Rogan 17:50 Yeah. He shouldn't be taking time off. When do you think we'll be able to stand-

Kurt Metzger 17:53 No one should.

Joe Rogan 17:53 When do you think we'll be able to do standup again, if you're okay?

Kurt Metzger 17:55 I was gonna ask you.

Joe Rogan 17:57 Oh, shit. That's the problem, right?

Kurt Metzger 18:00 (laughs) When everyone can get a test for COVID-19?

Joe Rogan 18:03 No. No, the problem is wh- when... Well, you think that'll be it?

Kurt Metzger 18:06 Um-... I don't know. I didn't, I didn't realize that the tests were so, uh, just, they're around. I thought ... Is it just in some states they don't have the tests?

Joe Rogan 18:13 Well, some places don't have 'em and there's, there's that. There's also that there's some tests that are FDA approved and some aren't. And why that, that is the case, I'm not gonna speculate, 'cause I, I really wouldn't know what I'm talking about.

Kurt Metzger 18:28 Probably whoever fucking-

Joe Rogan 18:30 I'd just be pretending. Could be.

Kurt Metzger 18:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:31 I don't ... I would be pretending if I knew.

Kurt Metzger 18:32 Whoever flew on the Epstein plane-

Joe Rogan 18:34 Right.

Kurt Metzger 18:34 ... with the FDA (laughs) guy.

Joe Rogan 18:36 But the, uh, company I use is, uh, they're very confident that their tests work. And they say even though they're not FDA approved-

Kurt Metzger 18:44 If they're wrong-

Joe Rogan 18:44 ... it's for your wellbeing, for, for your own knowledge.

Kurt Metzger 18:47 D- is it that they're incorrect mostly with false positives? Or they won't tell you and you did have it?

Joe Rogan 18:52 I don't know. It's a good question.

Kurt Metzger 18:54 'Cause if it's false-

Joe Rogan 18:55 It's a good question.

Kurt Metzger 18:55 ... if they tell you that you had and you didn't, that's not quite as bad.

Joe Rogan 18:58 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 18:58 It's a little more safe than sorry than a ...

Joe Rogan 19:00 He ... The doctor said they've had many positives. They've had plenty of positives. And a lot of people that, uh, just had, like, a little bit of a, of a cough for a few days and it went away and it turned out to be positive.

Kurt Metzger 19:11 Really?

Joe Rogan 19:11 And then ... Yeah. And some people with no symptoms at all.

Kurt Metzger 19:13 Okay. So if you just had a cough and it went away in a few days, w- does that mean you don't get-

Joe Rogan 19:19 That's a good question. Right? Does that mean that you're immune?

Kurt Metzger 19:21 Does that progress ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:22 N- no one knows. They don't know. They really don't know. It's a, it's a new disease. Whenever something's new, it's like there's guesswork going on. It's like who knows? But they, they don't, they don't really exactly know. They know a few things about it. They're learning more.

Kurt Metzger 19:35 Aren't they getting lots of help from China? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:38 Yeah. Plenty of help.

Kurt Metzger 19:39 Is, uh-

Joe Rogan 19:40 The, the lady, the, the, Las Vegas mayor that I was, I was saying before.

Kurt Metzger 19:44 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:44 Anderson Cooper. So Anderson's explaining this to her and, uh, he's, like, uh, in a restaurant in China. She's like, "China? This is Las Vegas, Nevada."

Kurt Metzger 19:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:53 "This isn't China."

Kurt Metzger 19:58 (laughs) (slaps table)

Joe Rogan 19:58 He actually said to her, "Wow, that's very ignorant." Like, it was-

Kurt Metzger 20:01 That's an incredible ...

Joe Rogan 20:03 It was a ridic- ... It was, it was indicative of how those r- ... First of all, it was indicative of how those are not real conversations.

Kurt Metzger 20:08 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 20:09 You're gonna talk about something that complicated it shouldn't be, you're over there, I'm over here, there's, like, a, a fucking thing in your ear, you don't even see me-

Kurt Metzger 20:18 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 20:18 ... and you're just talking into a camera-

Kurt Metzger 20:20 Yes.

Joe Rogan 20:20 ... which is what a lot of those are. It's like-

Kurt Metzger 20:21 He loves ... A- Anderson Cooper's one of the ones that loves having-

Joe Rogan 20:25 He loves when people fuck up stupid.

Kurt Metzger 20:25 He loves, like, pretend, performative, "Oh, I can't believe this," and he's, like, keeping it coming. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:30 Yeah. Keep it coming, baby. Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 20:32 Uh, uh, what's ... Do y- remember him? It was Donald Sterling? When Donald Sterling's-

Joe Rogan 20:35 Yes.

Kurt Metzger 20:35 ... was like ... (laughs) When Magic had those AIDS, used to pray for him and all that shit.

Joe Rogan 20:40 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 20:40 And, uh, f- I watch Anderson Cooper on The Bing- go, "Warning, it might be kind of shocking." Like, is it?

Joe Rogan 20:45 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 20:45 Like, it looked like he was holding in, jizzing his pants every time the guy would say another word.

Joe Rogan 20:50 Well, he's very good at his job. He must enjoy some of that. Must enjoy, like-

Kurt Metzger 20:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:54 ... catching people saying stupid shit like that. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 20:56 (laughs) I mean, that's, like, what the whole job is.

Joe Rogan 20:57 "This is Las Vegas, Nevada." (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 21:01 (laughs) I mean, I do appreciate it.

Joe Rogan 21:03 Right? What does that mean? What does that mean that disease doesn't spread the same way-

Kurt Metzger 21:04 You know, would it, uh-

Joe Rogan 21:05 ... with people from Veg- ... First of all, people from Vegas are from the whole world. That's what's ridiculous.

Kurt Metzger 21:10 But there's a ton of Chi- ... Chinese people gamble a lot. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:12 A lot. A lot.

Kurt Metzger 21:13 And, like, it was probably in Vegas before anywhere.

Joe Rogan 21:17 Bro, they build casinos to the standards of Chinese people.

Kurt Metzger 21:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:23 Like, if there's things that are not feng shui, like ... And here's a, here's an example.

Kurt Metzger 21:27 Right?

Joe Rogan 21:27 The MGM. You had to walk in through the mouth of a lion.

Kurt Metzger 21:29 They don't let Black people in? What do you mean? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:31 And they were like, "Check, please. We're not walking through a lion's mouth."

Kurt Metzger 21:34 Oh.

Joe Rogan 21:34 They had to change the fucking faci-

Kurt Metzger 21:36 Wait, why? Is that wh-

Joe Rogan 21:37 Yes, it's bad luck.

Kurt Metzger 21:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:39 You can't walk into a fucking lion's mouth.

Kurt Metzger 21:41 It does make sense, by the way.

Joe Rogan 21:42 It totally makes sense. Why ... What are you? Stupid? You know, I'm thinking of-

Kurt Metzger 21:46 I have that superstition now that you mention it.

Joe Rogan 21:48 Especially if you're gambling-

Kurt Metzger 21:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:49 ... and you're like, "Come on, man-"

Kurt Metzger 21:50 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 21:50 "... I'm gonna take these motherfuckers down," and then you're walking through a lion's head. You're like, "Goddamn it, it's a trap. I'm so stupid. I walked into the lion's mouth-"

Kurt Metzger 21:56 Can they fix it?

Joe Rogan 21:57 "... figuratively."

Kurt Metzger 21:58 Can they make it, like, a dragon's head or, like, a better luck animal?

Joe Rogan 22:00 I don't think you're allowed to walk through an animal's head. That means the animal's eating you. They're more sensible about it than we are.

Kurt Metzger 22:05 What if it's a very lucky dragon-

Joe Rogan 22:07 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 22:07 ... and it's eating you?

Joe Rogan 22:08 And that's it.

Kurt Metzger 22:08 That's gotta be good.

Joe Rogan 22:09 Yeah. It's like y- y- you gotta be in the belly of the beast f- ... in order to get the magic. No, they're not dumb. They're not gonna go through that fucking lion's mouth in the, uh, on their way to den of, of gambling trying to win money from this-

Kurt Metzger 22:20 You know, maybe-

Joe Rogan 22:20 ... multi-billion dollar machine.

Kurt Metzger 22:21 ... uh, if you didn't slaughter every rare animal to get a fucking six-inch boner, you could-

Joe Rogan 22:27 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 22:27 (laughs) ... you wouldn't have these bad luck problems.

Joe Rogan 22:30 Dude, can you imagine y- y- sh- ... that whole rhino horn thing? Like, you're over some dude's house and he's like, "Would you like some rhino tea?"

Kurt Metzger 22:37 It, it ... The, the principle of it-

Joe Rogan 22:39 Like, that's what it was, right?

Kurt Metzger 22:40 The principle is literally just 'cause it has a fucking horn that looks, like, kinda like a dick-

Joe Rogan 22:44 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 22:45 ... don't have anything dick-like on you, person as an animal, in China because you will ... Th- they ... Somebody will be like that ... Somebody's gotta snort powder of that.

Joe Rogan 22:52 Well, I talked to a friend of mine about this who, uh, is ... Uh, he knows a lot about Chinese culture.

Kurt Metzger 22:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:58 And what he said was that it's not really that they think it's gonna give them a boner, 'cause they know about Viagra, but it's that it shows that you have this.

Kurt Metzger 23:07 Yeah. Well, that's a big-

Joe Rogan 23:08 So it's a very difficult thing to get.

Kurt Metzger 23:09 Dude. Did you ever go there?

Joe Rogan 23:10 I've never been to China. I've been to Taiwan, though.

Kurt Metzger 23:13 Oh. Taiwan's very different, I think.

Joe Rogan 23:14 Is it?

Kurt Metzger 23:14 I've never been to Taiwan, but I went to the, you know-

Joe Rogan 23:17 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 23:17 ... Mainland, the big island (laughs) of China.

Joe Rogan 23:19 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 23:19 And, uh, it's ve- ... It was the most materialistic, like ... You know, h- having big labels on your clo- ... There were all these fake Ed Hardy jackets that I guess are very expensive and, and they would have, like, a ... Like, remember Minnie Pearl that had that big price tag on her fucking he-

Joe Rogan 23:34 Yes.

Kurt Metzger 23:34 It was, like, that big. And it'd be hanging off a very obviously not Ed Hardy ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:39 Dude, there's a sneaker where it's in style to wear the label. We had a f- an, a shit fit about it on this podcast. What's it called again, Jamie?

Narrator 23:47 Uh, Off- ... Well, Off-White shoes. They have a label on.

Joe Rogan 23:50 Yes. There you go. Thank you.

Kurt Metzger 23:51 Is it in st- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:51 You're supposed to ... It's a giant plastic tag. I hope it's a GPS tracker that just tracks dummies.

Kurt Metzger 23:57 (laughs) It might be. I, I would-

Joe Rogan 23:58 (laughs) You're looking at all these dummies with these tags on their feet. Look at, look at s-

Kurt Metzger 24:01 No. That means, like-

Joe Rogan 24:02 Let's see what they do, the people that keep that shit on their feet. Let's see what they do.

Kurt Metzger 24:05 (laughs) That's the biggest insult you could say to someone, is like, "You're p- ... I heard you're poor." Like, tha- that's a terrible, terrible insult there.

Joe Rogan 24:12 ... why would it say, "I heard you're poor"?

Kurt Metzger 24:14 Uh, uh, it's just a way that people insult each other, like, "Oh, you're poor." Like-

Joe Rogan 24:18 Oh. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 24:18 That's the meanest thing you can say.

Joe Rogan 24:20 Oh. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 24:20 I mean, it's probably not the meanest, like go-

Joe Rogan 24:22 To those people-

Kurt Metzger 24:22 ... go walk in a tiger mouth is the meanest, but-

Joe Rogan 24:25 But to ... So if someone said ... Y- you're talking about in China?

Kurt Metzger 24:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:29 So if someone says, "I heard you're poor," that's like the worst insult they could say to you.

Kurt Metzger 24:33 Calling you poor. Not-

Joe Rogan 24:34 Wow.

Kurt Metzger 24:34 The I heard part is just, that's just how it came out.

Joe Rogan 24:36 Oh, just calling you poor is like the ultimate insult.

Kurt Metzger 24:39 Yeah. Yeah, so everything ... It's like an '80s movie bully. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:43 Yeah. You know what's important about that? Um, whether it's North Korea or China, it's i- important for us to realize that there's styles of living that work. And one of the big one that works is freedom.

Kurt Metzger 24:57 (smacks lips) Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 24:58 And this is the best place for that freedom style of living, is right here. And then you realize that in this same day and age, not a small country, but a country with three times as many people as us, can be controlled by a military dictatorship.

Kurt Metzger 25:13 Well, uh, dude, I was shocked ... This is gonna sound like a weird thing to say, but I was shocked by how much more freedoms they had. (laughs) And I don't mean ... You're not free to like, uh, "Hey, fuck you, the government." You're not at all. Don't even bring it up.

Joe Rogan 25:25 At all.

Kurt Metzger 25:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:25 You can't ... If you said anything like that, they would come after you.

Kurt Metzger 25:28 No, the ... When I did comedy, like you could when ... Any political shit you want, just nothing about China. And at the time I was like, "Well, I don't know anything about China, so fine." So, but you could just smoke whe- wherever, like the hospital. (laughs) You could ... Like my friend, uh, we went to go eat, uh, at some hot pot place. That was like the only Chinese food I had was hot pot, it's called. And we couldn't find parking and he fucking parked on some stairs, like the front stairs to a buil- He just parked like that.

Joe Rogan 25:55 Whoa.

Kurt Metzger 25:55 And I was like, "Are you allowed to park here?" And he goes, "It's fine. It's late, the cops went home." (laughs) The cops just go home at night.

Joe Rogan 26:00 Jesus Christ.

Kurt Metzger 26:01 Yeah, so that's why they had to have that so ... You know, it is like 1984-ish, but that, uh, social credit system where they-

Joe Rogan 26:08 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 26:08 They, they can't possibly police that many people. The cities I went to were like three New York, New York City cities all next to each other in a row. Like it's enormous. It's like fucking a Judge Dredd, uh-

Joe Rogan 26:22 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 26:22 It looked like Going to the Future, is what it looked like. Everybody had a mask on.

Joe Rogan 26:24 Well, it makes sense. I got a theory, man. Um, and my, my theory is, uh, that if you look at all the old, old cultures, like so many of the old, old cultures, except for parts of Europe, but a lot of the old Asian cultures, they still ... Like they've been around lo- Like what country's been around longer than China?

Kurt Metzger 26:42 Yeah, that's a massive point of pride.

Joe Rogan 26:43 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 26:43 And it's like you get an inverse-

Joe Rogan 26:45 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 26:45 ... kind of, uh, like in America it's all the new ... It's like new money compared to old money, like the ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:51 But what my point was, I wonder if like after a certain amount of years, even, uh, like a real valid democracy eventually gives in to the weight of peoples' instincts to control each other. I wonder if like that's be-

Kurt Metzger 27:07 It just-

Joe Rogan 27:07 Like China's the most controlling-

Kurt Metzger 27:08 ... based, yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:08 ... but it's the longest surviving country, right?

Kurt Metzger 27:11 Somebody told me that-

Joe Rogan 27:12 Or one of their-

Kurt Metzger 27:12 ... it's ... They've had the same government this entire time. You know, in-

Joe Rogan 27:15 Sure.

Kurt Metzger 27:15 Instead of a dynasty, it's just like the, the generals' kids and shit.

Joe Rogan 27:19 Yeah, exactly.

Kurt Metzger 27:19 And so this guy's like their emp- It's just been the same way forever and you just change the names of stuff, so that's really what communism is.

Joe Rogan 27:26 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 27:26 The, the part of communism they're taking is like the state control.

Joe Rogan 27:29 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 27:30 But they have like a very like no welfare system kinda ... It f- it feels like a '80s movie. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:36 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 27:36 Like Greed is Good if it has that feeling of- about it. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 27:40 Oh.

Kurt Metzger 27:40 And, uh, also I was shocked how good the comics were.

Joe Rogan 27:44 Really?

Kurt Metzger 27:44 Like fru- Yeah. Well, all the streaming stuff is there, so, you know, whatever, Hulu. They've seen all your comedy and ... So they have like a ... I was just surprised, like, oh, this is like ... They, like they get how to do standup.

Joe Rogan 27:57 So were they ... Uh, were they expats? Were there people that lived there?

Kurt Metzger 28:01 The shows I did were, they were expats and also people from there.

Joe Rogan 28:05 Wow.

Kurt Metzger 28:06 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 28:06 That's cool.

Kurt Metzger 28:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:07 But it's gotta be a tricky tightrope to walk doing standup in China.

Kurt Metzger 28:11 Dude, not ... Well, I had nothing to say about China. I didn't know any of that Winnie the Pooh stuff-

Joe Rogan 28:15 Yeah. For you.

Kurt Metzger 28:15 ... at the time. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:16 Right. Yeah, but I mean for someone, like someone who, uh, does standup there, in China, like locals?

Kurt Metzger 28:21 You have to more w- I, I think what you have to worry about is another business. 'Cause it's popular, people like it, but let's say some guy down the block runs a bar.

Joe Rogan 28:28 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 28:29 (clicks tongue) And, uh, he's jealous that you're getting business. He could go to the Interior Ministry people and go, "They're putting, uh, anti-communist propaganda out." And then-

Joe Rogan 28:36 Ooh.

Kurt Metzger 28:37 ... something about a buddy of mine, and he, you know, he knew people at the ministry and they go, "Listen, we know you weren't doing that, but you just can't do shows for six months. Because, merely 'cause someone reported it-" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:47 Jesus Christ.

Kurt Metzger 28:47 "... we have to do that."

Joe Rogan 28:49 W-

Kurt Metzger 28:49 So that's the, that's the shitty, uh ...

Joe Rogan 28:51 This is one of the, th- that instinct that people have to do things like that. It's one of the reasons why I got so upset when LA started offering rewards to people that snitch-

Kurt Metzger 28:59 Snitches get wishes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:01 ... on social j- uh, social distancing violators.

Kurt Metzger 29:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:04 So if someone is like, uh, high-fiving his neighbor or, uh-

Kurt Metzger 29:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:08 ... you go over to the next door neighbor's house, you have dinner or something like that. Like people are snitching people out for money.

Kurt Metzger 29:13 I was already reporting people for high-fives before this virus.

Joe Rogan 29:17 People are like, (sighs) they're, they're getting very into-

Kurt Metzger 29:20 Well, don't you think they just figured out like the people like that ... 'Cause when this thing, first thing first hit, people didn't ... It was funny watching, especially like the social jihadis trying to figure out what side of this they're on.

Joe Rogan 29:31 Right.

Kurt Metzger 29:32 And they're like, "Well, I don't know." So for a little bit they were like, "Okay, whatever Trump says, I'm against that." And then now, it's more on the, "Okay, uh, you gotta social distance." And like enforcing it, it seems like that, that group went to that now.

Joe Rogan 29:45 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 29:45 And also policing who gets tested. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:47 Yeah. Well, it seems like this is the new thing now, right? It's like here's the new thing to be outraged about. It's like who is, uh, going outside without a mask? Who is doing this without gloves on? It's like-

Kurt Metzger 29:58 Well, you have to transfer your business. Like-

Joe Rogan 30:00 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 30:01 'Cause that, that was a big business before this and it's like, how do I adjust my business, which is ... 'Cause I don't think anyone is outraged.

Joe Rogan 30:07 Nagging people. Right, fake outrage.

Kurt Metzger 30:07 Yeah, no, no one is outraged. I mean, I've-

Joe Rogan 30:10 ... do you think they aren't? Or do you think they-

Kurt Metzger 30:12 I know, I know the answer.

Joe Rogan 30:12 ... are false? They're, they're foolishly focusing on things that are not as important?

Kurt Metzger 30:18 Well, that, that's if you are serious about it. That's what he-

Joe Rogan 30:20 Right. If you are.

Kurt Metzger 30:20 But that's not the people that, like, you know, make a living off doing it. If I see it in the media, then you, it's not sincere.

Joe Rogan 30:26 Well, there's-

Kurt Metzger 30:27 100%.

Joe Rogan 30:27 Well, there's a lot of that, for sure. But there's a lot of thing... You can't rule out people actually being upset about something that's legitimately upsetting. Like-

Kurt Metzger 30:35 I, unless you're making... It's almost like the thing we were talking about, the preacher thing.

Joe Rogan 30:38 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 30:38 If you're m- getting rich off it, I don't believe you.

Joe Rogan 30:40 Well, the problem is, it's like a cry wolf thing. It's like, there are some things that... Like, did you see the, the Elon Musk, uh, beef that he got in with, uh, someone who is a reporter for CNN?

Kurt Metzger 30:51 Yeah. Why? Okay. Why are they so anti-him?

Joe Rogan 30:54 I don't know. I don't know, but it didn't make any sense, because he said, "Are you-"

Kurt Metzger 30:58 It's the respirator thing.

Joe Rogan 30:59 Yeah. And he said-

Kurt Metzger 30:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:59 ... "Are you aware that there's a search function on Twitter?"

Kurt Metzger 31:02 And then they played little semantic games to f- to get-

Joe Rogan 31:04 Well, he started re-tweeting these different nurses that are showing these respirators and they're like thanking him and smiling-

Kurt Metzger 31:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:11 ... and, and holding up the Tesla sign.

Kurt Metzger 31:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:13 And he showed all the different places that are getting those respirators-

Kurt Metzger 31:16 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 31:16 ... and explained. And they're still, like-

Kurt Metzger 31:19 They're not gonna go back on it, 'cause so, so now they go-

Joe Rogan 31:21 They're not retracting it.

Kurt Metzger 31:22 "Well, they're not technically respirators. They're a different kind of thing."

Joe Rogan 31:25 It was different ones.

Kurt Metzger 31:25 And they are respirators, by the way.

Joe Rogan 31:26 It was different ones for different places, I believe.

Kurt Metzger 31:29 It's ones hospitals asked him to get.

Joe Rogan 31:31 Right.

Kurt Metzger 31:31 And they are respirators. They're non-invasive respirators. It's bullshit.

Joe Rogan 31:34 They're CPAP machines.

Kurt Metzger 31:34 It's a warm, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:35 Yes, it, but it's pumping oxygen into your, into your lungs, right? It's a type of a respirator, isn't it?

Kurt Metzger 31:41 I don't know. I don't have-

Joe Rogan 31:42 It's not-

Kurt Metzger 31:42 ... COVID-19. I got tested.

Joe Rogan 31:44 Well, you just did.

Kurt Metzger 31:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:45 Yes, congratulations. I, I don't know. I'm, I'm talking out of my ass, but I do know that oxygen goes into those things. I mean, that's, that's the whole reason why-

Kurt Metzger 31:52 They are technically-

Joe Rogan 31:53 ... CPAP-ing people wear them.

Kurt Metzger 31:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:55 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 31:56 No, they are a vent... They're a kind of ventilator. And the hospital said, "Could you get these for us?"

Joe Rogan 32:00 But out of all the shit to give someone a hard time about, it's like, he's-

Kurt Metzger 32:04 They're out to get him.

Joe Rogan 32:04 ... donating these things for free.

Kurt Metzger 32:06 He trashed the media. He, didn't he, didn't he on Twitter be like, "And what if, doesn't the press suck?" So it's like, if you, it's like he wrote cop killer or something, like...

Joe Rogan 32:14 Right. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 32:15 There's this, he's-

Joe Rogan 32:16 Body count.

Kurt Metzger 32:16 He's, uh, if you go on, uh, YouTube, this guy, Alex, uh, or Alec Bostwick, he's a reporter and he's inter- he, I do, I wa- I caught a video of his where he's explaining it. It's like cops, like the media is like cops.

Joe Rogan 32:27 Hmm.

Kurt Metzger 32:27 And the PR person is your lawyer. So you don't ever talk to the cops without a lawyer, you know?

Joe Rogan 32:32 Wow.

Kurt Metzger 32:32 They, you, and they have... And we need journalists, we need cops, but the people that abuse it or they're corrupt, which is like a lot of them.

Joe Rogan 32:39 There's so many people doing it, right? And there's different styles of doing it.

Kurt Metzger 32:42 Well, there's a certain amount of like serve and collect where... So now these people that we were talking about COVID-19, like they didn't know how to handle this for their business of like, we got to condemn people. It's almost like a fossil fuel they're almost out of.

Joe Rogan 32:54 Right.

Kurt Metzger 32:55 Of digging their tweets.

Joe Rogan 32:57 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 32:57 They're like, "Well, how far back do your tweets go?"

Joe Rogan 32:59 It is. Outrage is like a fossil fuel that they're almost out of.

Kurt Metzger 33:01 Yes. And they're like, and it's like-

Joe Rogan 33:02 Ah.

Kurt Metzger 33:03 ... there's ones they're saving, like, "Okay, we have these old blackface pics of like Tom Hanks or something." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:07 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 33:07 You know, like...

Joe Rogan 33:08 What about these Indian baseball teams?

Kurt Metzger 33:10 Yeah, right. Or, or...

Joe Rogan 33:12 The Braves, the Indians.

Kurt Metzger 33:13 Didn't they, didn't somebody get mad at Adam Driver because of, uh... This one was crazy. It was 'cause he, I didn't know he, even know he was in the military, but he went and served in Iraq because after 9/11 he wanted to go fight against... You know, he said he had a vague... He goes, "I have nothing against Muslims. I have a feeling of, I want to go fight whoever attacked us." So he's Islamophobic. There's a whole Twitter Islamophobia thing, which is wild, dude. That's how far disconnected Twitter is. The, that section of Twitter that does that.

Joe Rogan 33:41 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 33:42 That's how absolutely fucking break from reality.

Joe Rogan 33:46 Well, it's, it, it's a new form of communication. And through this new form of communication, people have strengthened ideologies, right? For good or for bad. And I think that's just part of what that is. That's part of what that is with the outrage Twitter, but it's also part of what that is with all the good stuff. Like the-

Kurt Metzger 34:03 Sure.

Joe Rogan 34:03 ... sci- scientific debate Twitter and people talking about different issues in a calm, collected way. Let's, can't throw out the baby with the bathwater. There's some, there's a lot of good to what's going on with like weird online social discourse, but you're definitely seeing people get en- enraged and-

Kurt Metzger 34:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:19 ... inflamed more often because of it.

Kurt Metzger 34:21 Well, by the way, when you brought up the cult thing in the beginning, it, that's what it is. It's like-

Joe Rogan 34:25 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 34:26 ... that's a certain kind of cult and you can't talk anybody out of being in a cult. Like if, especially when I was like a deep believer, no one would have, you wouldn't have shown me any evidence or anything that would-

Joe Rogan 34:36 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 34:36 ... have made me turn from my cult. When people leave, it's because it didn't, when you need it, need it to do what it's supposed to do, it didn't do that for you when you needed it.

Joe Rogan 34:46 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 34:46 So that, that's how people leave. They don't leave because you yell at them and tell them they're stupid or any of that. So all these, uh, sock just types are the same way. They're, as it fails for them, you, you can see people now like, "I'm not doing it."

Joe Rogan 34:57 Kilstein.

Kurt Metzger 34:57 Jamie Kilstein was one of the first.

Joe Rogan 34:58 Kilstein, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 34:58 Right?

Joe Rogan 34:59 Well, he's the, he's the best example, in my opinion, because he's been like really honest about-

Kurt Metzger 35:04 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 35:04 ... how gross he felt when he was like attacked and people on Twitter-

Kurt Metzger 35:08 I talked to him after.

Joe Rogan 35:08 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 35:08 And, and he was like an ex-cult guy. It was crazy.

Joe Rogan 35:11 Yeah. And then they went after him and he was like, "Oh shit." Like, no one's safe. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 35:15 Well, so that's, that's the, it's the running out of fuel for these fucking things. So, so that's why-

Joe Rogan 35:20 It's the fossil fuel?

Kurt Metzger 35:21 Yeah. I, I mean, they're just gonna dig through all of it. And it's like-

Joe Rogan 35:23 It's-

Kurt Metzger 35:23 ... polluting and it's... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:25 That's why they go into like '83. 1983, you touched someone's vagina.

Kurt Metzger 35:29 Who was 1983?

Joe Rogan 35:30 Um, 1983, the, the, the 1980s one was actually, um-

Kurt Metzger 35:35 Wait, who-

Joe Rogan 35:35 ... the guy from Star Trek-

Kurt Metzger 35:37 Oh.

Joe Rogan 35:37 ... got in trouble.

Kurt Metzger 35:37 Who?

Joe Rogan 35:38 Um-

Kurt Metzger 35:39 Picard?

Joe Rogan 35:39 No, no, no.

Kurt Metzger 35:40 Oh.

Joe Rogan 35:40 Um, the guy who was always on, uh, Howard Stern Show.

Kurt Metzger 35:43 Sulu?

Joe Rogan 35:44 No.

Kurt Metzger 35:45 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:46 Uh, George Takei.

Kurt Metzger 35:47 Sulu?

Joe Rogan 35:47 George Takei, sorry.

Kurt Metzger 35:47 Wait, he grabbed the vagina, you said?

Joe Rogan 35:49 George Takei. No.

Kurt Metzger 35:49 Oh.

Joe Rogan 35:50 He grabbed someone's penis or something.

Kurt Metzger 35:52 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 35:52 In 1983 or something like that. Like legitimately, like talking about in the '80s.

Kurt Metzger 35:57 I mean, it sounds about right.

Joe Rogan 35:58 Yeah. Yeah. He said-

Kurt Metzger 36:01 Well-

Joe Rogan 36:01 ... it never happened. But it's like when, when they're, if they run out of outrage. If people like really run out of outrage and they go searching for it, and old television shows-

Kurt Metzger 36:08 Yeah, that, those are very, um...

Joe Rogan 36:10 Like there's a lot of movies that if you went and go, went searching for them...... like, outrage. Like, you get really mad if you were looking... Are you watching... Like-

Kurt Metzger 36:18 Yeah, right. Well, people look at me...

Joe Rogan 36:20 Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.

Kurt Metzger 36:21 Oh, yeah. (laughs) Who is mad at that?

Joe Rogan 36:24 Does, does... It's-

Kurt Metzger 36:24 Oh, part two?

Joe Rogan 36:25 ... have you... You... Which- which is the one... No.

Kurt Metzger 36:27 The one where he goes to Africa? I just watched that recently.

Joe Rogan 36:29 It wasn't Ace Ventura. What was the one where, uh, Sean- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was it Ace Ventura... It was? Yeah, yeah. That was? Yep, yep. Right, where it turns out h- she was a guy- Yeah, the Finkel's Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkel.

Kurt Metzger 36:38 Oh, no. That's part one, right?

Joe Rogan 36:40 That's... You're right, you're right, that is right. That is part one. All right. Yeah. There's so, there's so many old movies, man. I watched Tommy Boy the other day. (laughs) There's so many movies that have scenes you couldn't do now. If you can-

Kurt Metzger 36:51 The fucking 30 Rock is all things you couldn't do now.

Joe Rogan 36:54 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 36:54 Like, yeah, no shit. We could do it-

Joe Rogan 36:56 Like, what happened?

Kurt Metzger 36:57 You can't do them on, like, the network. This is the thing, it was part of the reason for the- the mad grab for, like, outrage things is, like-

Joe Rogan 37:03 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 37:03 ... stuff like this or anything YouTube or all that shit is eating up their lunch and so they- they went all in selling to the fucking, whatever the i- ... Whatever the idea of a millennial on Twitter was.

Joe Rogan 37:16 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 37:16 That's what people were pandering to. And it... They called it on South Park, dude. Uh, you remember the episode of, uh, what's his name? PC Principal, where they introduced-

Joe Rogan 37:23 Yes.

Kurt Metzger 37:23 ... PC Principal? So there's a scene when there's two forms like, "Well, PC's back. How long you think it's gonna be this time?" And he goes, "Six years." And I'll be goddamned, it was back in, uh, 2015 and now this shit's petering out. It's about six years.

Joe Rogan 37:37 Yeah, people get mad and then it's like a, it's like a jackrabbit thing. Like, there's like populations of jackrabbits, they go up and down like every seven years.

Kurt Metzger 37:45 It's very Ebolaesque. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:49 There's a lot of rabbits. (laughs) It is like-

Kurt Metzger 37:50 Oh, that's right. What...

Joe Rogan 37:51 I think ideas can very well be like diseases in that, you know, they come and go, and like big ones stick. You know, big i- ... Whether it's a religion or-

Kurt Metzger 38:01 The ones that have... Like, this is what I think is gonna be an Ebola ultimately, the- the social justice thing is just gonna... Is too... Burns itself out too much, you know?

Joe Rogan 38:09 Well, too many people inside of it got attacked and felt what it was like to be misrepresented.

Kurt Metzger 38:15 Yeah, and there's no f- ... There's no fallback or-

Joe Rogan 38:16 It's also not nice.

Kurt Metzger 38:18 Look, you- you- ... Like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:19 Like, if you're supposed to be the good person, right? If you're, if you really... Like, if you... Someone's a social justice warrior, one of the first thing they think is that they're doing a good thing and that they are, um, they- they have a- an intelligent philosophy, right? It's an i- ... It's not a- an idiot's way of looking at the world, it's an intelligent way of looking at the world.

Kurt Metzger 38:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:37 And they want some change.

Kurt Metzger 38:37 It's the only way.

Joe Rogan 38:38 In their, in their eyes.

Kurt Metzger 38:39 It's called the truth.

Joe Rogan 38:39 Right, because they get ideologically driven. But I don't think they realize that a big part... If you, if you act that way and you're attacking people, I think you realize a- a big part of being a person is learning how to be nice to each other. And if you just go out of your way to attack people, you don't ever get those people to change their mind. What you, what you do is you get those people mad at you, you get those people sad, they feel upset, they get angry-

Kurt Metzger 39:02 Well, that sounds like human interaction things.

Joe Rogan 39:04 ... they get anxiety. Yeah, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 39:04 And these are internet people. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:05 But you can't, you can't, like, get them to listen to your opinion and take it seriously-

Kurt Metzger 39:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:09 ... if you're disrespectful. That's just a tenant of human beings.

Kurt Metzger 39:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:13 And it's, they're all-

Kurt Metzger 39:14 Yeah, absolutely.

Joe Rogan 39:15 ... I mean, they're socially fucked up people that are engaging in these online wars.

Kurt Metzger 39:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:21 And they're doing it for these little adrenaline bursts and these little dopamine hits. And they're so addicted-

Kurt Metzger 39:26 I mean, that is why I do anything. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:28 But they're addicted.

Kurt Metzger 39:28 For a little dopamine.

Joe Rogan 39:29 They're addicted.

Kurt Metzger 39:29 Yeah, no, it's a w- it's a weak ass ... But that's how you get like that, is not having to look at someone and say anything.

Joe Rogan 39:35 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 39:35 You know? So- so it's just gonna burn out because there's no, uh ... You know, like Christianity is a coro- a- a very ... That's a corona that's gonna be around. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:44 Yeah. It's been around a long time.

Kurt Metzger 39:45 Yeah. Because-

Joe Rogan 39:45 They got that game locked up.

Kurt Metzger 39:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:47 I mean, they got their own country.

Kurt Metzger 39:49 Well, coronavirus, you can get a, like ... There's a forget ... If I wanted to become a Jehovah's Witness again and I was like, "You know what? I- I- I repent for every," or whatever I did that took me out of this, and I wanna be... Then you can go in. So- so there's a... You ... I could become that again. You know what I mean? Like, Jamie Kilstein can never be a social justice warrior again.

Joe Rogan 40:06 They wouldn't let him back in.

Kurt Metzger 40:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:08 Yeah. Well, I saw people attacking him and misrepresenting him when he left. I was like- (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 40:12 People told me he raped someone. That- that's the shit that I had...

Joe Rogan 40:15 That, no one would ever, no one ever accused him of that. And then-

Kurt Metzger 40:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:18 ... even when he, when he did leave, it's like he d- ... It's not like-

Kurt Metzger 40:21 Dude.

Joe Rogan 40:21 ... he attacked them.

Kurt Metzger 40:22 What he was accused of is so crazy. It's just that Jamie went a- a- all in bashing other people. My- my feeling is that he's-

Joe Rogan 40:30 Well, he was, he was accused of flirting with girls or something like that or-

Kurt Metzger 40:32 It's so much wor- ... I mean, it's such a long story, but I... It's so crazy the, what the actual story is, is just that he went after people and so wh- when you do that, people turn on you like, "Well, fuck you."

Joe Rogan 40:43 Right. Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 40:43 But you can't be like that.

Joe Rogan 40:44 Right.

Kurt Metzger 40:45 If somebody comes out of a thing, you've gotta be cool.

Joe Rogan 40:47 Yeah. Well, that's how you-

Kurt Metzger 40:48 You have to be.

Joe Rogan 40:48 ... would like people to be in real life, right? If... In real life, I would like everybody to be real reasonable when they talk to each other and hang out with each other. But on Twitter, for some reason, like, people that think they're reasonable people will say some shit that you would never say to someone in real life, because if you did you'd be such a fucking asshole. If you were just looking face to face and you said some of the things that some people would just write to random people on Twitter, you would be a fucking asshole. But for some reason-

Kurt Metzger 41:17 Well, that's the shocking thing.

Joe Rogan 41:17 ... there's like this escape clause where you can write it down.

Kurt Metzger 41:20 The amount of, like ... You would think that cruelty would create a callousness to it. (laughs) You know what I mean? But there's like-

Joe Rogan 41:26 No way.

Kurt Metzger 41:27 It's like people say the craziest shit but then be hypersensitive to anything said-

Joe Rogan 41:31 Right.

Kurt Metzger 41:32 ... their direction.

Joe Rogan 41:32 Right, right, right. It's not like-

Kurt Metzger 41:33 It's not-

Joe Rogan 41:33 That's a good point.

Kurt Metzger 41:34 It's like really both punch each other and that's what we do.

Joe Rogan 41:36 Right.

Kurt Metzger 41:36 It's not like that big a deal. But they- they get more raw.

Joe Rogan 41:39 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 41:39 It's- it's really like an unsatisfying cult to be in.

Joe Rogan 41:42 Well, it's- it's missing a thing and the big thing, if you wanna be right, is you gotta be nice. It's not a nice one. It's not a- a reasonable one. It's an attacking one. And- and- and attacking at a lot of things that are very debatable and they just want you to state it as fact.

Kurt Metzger 41:57 Th- I think that's it. There's no debate on this.

Joe Rogan 41:59 Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of things that are very debatable.

Kurt Metzger 42:01 Well-

Joe Rogan 42:01 Like when it comes to any controversial issue, there's, they're controversial for a reason. They're like, uh, uh, uh, a lot of them, you know, there's- there's debate. There's debate that could be had.

Kurt Metzger 42:12 Not if you can shut it right down.

Joe Rogan 42:14 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 42:15 That's- that's what, uh, that's the... Well, Jehovah's Witness has the, uh-... you know, you, basically, let's say you were like, "Hey, something about this seems off and I have an issue with it."

Joe Rogan 42:23 Right.

Kurt Metzger 42:24 You wouldn't raise your hand and say that in the... Because in the Bible, you don't wanna stumble your brother.

Joe Rogan 42:29 Right.

Kurt Metzger 42:30 Like, what if your doubt or whatever you had, like, keep it to yourself, you know. There's a time to discuss it, I don't know when. But the worst thing to happen is you hurt someone else's faith by you saying the thing-

Joe Rogan 42:40 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 42:40 ... that's obvious, that's in front of your face. So that, that, that lets in all kinds of horrible... What if you hear about, like, molestations or, you know, uh, Jehovah's Witnesses actually have the largest settlement in history-

Joe Rogan 42:52 Really?

Kurt Metzger 42:53 ... for that.

Joe Rogan 42:53 Oh.

Kurt Metzger 42:54 Yeah. And it's not because someone in a position of authority did it, it's because they did what all these places do and didn't go to the cops.

Joe Rogan 43:00 Oh.

Kurt Metzger 43:00 They're like, "We're gonna handle it." And that's, by the way, how a bunch of church things. Like, if this kind of s- kid diddling happens, and when it happens, it's really a morality issue of probably the kid. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:11 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 43:11 Like, like, uh, "Well, we have to see if they need to be married now."

Joe Rogan 43:14 Oh, my God.

Kurt Metzger 43:14 That's the kind of-

Joe Rogan 43:15 Jesus.

Kurt Metzger 43:15 Well, just old-ass, uh, Bronze Age, you know?

Joe Rogan 43:18 How crazy is the Catholic Church? Are there, is there another country that is like the Vatican? The Vatican's like a country, it's inside of Italy, right?

Kurt Metzger 43:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:26 I mean, isn't it essentially like a-

Kurt Metzger 43:28 No, it's a sovereign, uh-

Joe Rogan 43:29 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 43:29 ... nation.

Joe Rogan 43:30 And is the idea that so that no one can get kicked out? Like, they, they can't get, uh, you know, extradited to, uh, the rest of the free world for crimes?

Kurt Metzger 43:38 You know, I don't know. I think it's, like, a medieval, uh-

Joe Rogan 43:40 It has to have something like that.

Kurt Metzger 43:41 I think it goes back a long time.

Joe Rogan 43:43 But how weird is that? (smacks lips) I mean, how weird is that? Like, if you've got a ch- a kid-fucking priest in there holed up in a church over there, he's supposed to be leaving there.

Kurt Metzger 43:51 I mean, it's probably the best spa- place for him, right? It's not a heavy kid population. It's just a bunch of other... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:57 I don't know.

Kurt Metzger 43:58 All religions, by the way, have roughly as much as the Catholic Church-

Joe Rogan 44:02 Pedophiles?

Kurt Metzger 44:03 Yes. All.

Joe Rogan 44:03 Really?

Kurt Metzger 44:04 All of them. Some more so. It's just, you know, they actually kind of handled it more. (laughs) And they didn't do a great job-

Joe Rogan 44:11 No.

Kurt Metzger 44:11 ... but they did it, their reckoning came that it hasn't really come for a bunch of others on such a large-

Joe Rogan 44:16 But you don't hear about that with, like, Baptists or-

Kurt Metzger 44:19 Oh, of course, you do.

Joe Rogan 44:20 ... Lutherans. Really?

Kurt Metzger 44:21 I, w- you should talk to, uh, my friend Brook was in Quiverfull.

Joe Rogan 44:26 What's Quiverfull?

Kurt Metzger 44:27 The 19 &... Remember the show 19 and Counting?

Joe Rogan 44:29 No, I don't.

Kurt Metzger 44:30 With, uh, the Duggar family?

Joe Rogan 44:31 Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 44:33 And, uh, and it's like your quiver is supposed to be full. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:37 Your quiver?

Kurt Metzger 44:37 So you're just all, yeah, you're just supposed to always be having kids. And, uh...

Joe Rogan 44:41 There's a good analogy there because if, if you're one of those assholes that has a 20-arrow quiver, that's a lot of weight to carry around.

Kurt Metzger 44:46 (laughs) I can fit 20 arrows in my wife's pussy now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:48 Well, it's like, there's a, there's a quiver analogy, believe it or not, for archery, and particularly for bow hunting.

Kurt Metzger 44:53 Yeah, that's, that's probably go, goes back a long way.

Joe Rogan 44:55 You won't, you don't wanna take too many arrows. Like, uh, one of the best bowhunters I know, my friend John Dudley, he only takes four arrows.

Kurt Metzger 45:02 Wow.

Joe Rogan 45:02 That's it. He only has four, because it weighs your bow down. He doesn't want a bunch of weight over here on the side of his bow.

Kurt Metzger 45:07 So the, the analogy-

Joe Rogan 45:08 So it's like people.

Kurt Metzger 45:08 ... is to not have too many kids.

Joe Rogan 45:10 Yeah, if you have 19-

Kurt Metzger 45:11 Their, theirs is like, have 19 arrows.

Joe Rogan 45:13 (laughs) I know, but that's a bad analogy. Like, but, uh, but the idea, like, "Oh, I'm gonna have 100 arrows." Okay.

Kurt Metzger 45:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:20 But you gotta carry those around stupid.

Kurt Metzger 45:21 Do you know who founded it, the idea? And by the way, it's not its own religion. It's a thing that there, if you're just like, you could be a Methodist and you're in that movement.

Joe Rogan 45:30 Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 45:30 Do you know what I mean? I think. Uh, the founders are some dude who's, uh, still there, and, uh, this chick who, uh, former feminist (laughs) who, who changed to this, like, she went the other-

Joe Rogan 45:42 Oh, wow.

Kurt Metzger 45:42 ... extreme.

Joe Rogan 45:43 That happens too sometimes.

Kurt Metzger 45:45 Yeah. That, when you see-

Joe Rogan 45:46 People flip-flop the other way.

Kurt Metzger 45:47 If you thought you didn't like, like, the, the hyper-left, like, kids, wait until they become Republicans, how much you're not gonna like them.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Oh, th- their kids are gonna become Republicans, for sure. There's a lot of them are gonna flip, a lot of them are gonna get older. They're gonna... We, we were talking yesterday on the podcast I did with Owen Smith, we were talking about farmers. How so- most farmers, like, they, a lot of them are Christian and a lot of them are, uh, right wing.

Kurt Metzger 46:10 Why is that?

Joe Rogan 46:11 A lot of them are right wing.

Kurt Metzger 46:12 Oh yeah, that I do know.

Joe Rogan 46:13 And I was saying because they're no-nonsense people, because they get up at 6:00 in the fucking morning every day.

Kurt Metzger 46:19 (laughs) They have to.

Joe Rogan 46:19 And they feed the chickens and milk the cows.

Kurt Metzger 46:21 Right.

Joe Rogan 46:21 And they have to do it every goddamn day.

Kurt Metzger 46:23 And then, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:23 They don't wanna hear your bullshit. They don't, they don't want any... They have no time for lazy people, they, they think everybody's-

Kurt Metzger 46:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 46:28 ... trying to make a fast buck, and they're out there hustling-

Kurt Metzger 46:31 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 46:31 ... every day. So-

Kurt Metzger 46:32 So, no, no, if you've never been around it, people who've never been around it have the most TV-

Joe Rogan 46:37 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 46:37 ... like, dipshit Hollywood idea of what-

Joe Rogan 46:39 Of a farmer, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 46:40 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 46:41 Hard work. Really fucking hard work.

Kurt Metzger 46:43 Yeah, real strong. Remember, um-

Joe Rogan 46:44 Those are different kind of people.

Kurt Metzger 46:46 You know Harris Stanton? Did you know him?

Joe Rogan 46:48 No.

Kurt Metzger 46:48 The comic? He, he was in the accident with Tracey in, in, uh, in... That happened, remember that when Tracey's, uh, two of us got hit?

Joe Rogan 46:54 He was one of them?

Kurt Metzger 46:56 Yeah, he's ali- I mean, he's not dead, I don't know what to... But, um-

Joe Rogan 46:58 Oh, you're freaking me out.

Kurt Metzger 46:59 (laughs) Harris, he used to, he's from South Carolina, he used to be a, uh, he was gonna play baseball or something then hurt his fucking leg and became a comic. But he fucking, uh... One of the strongest fucking people I've ever s- (laughs) 'Cause he used to do, uh, tobacco bales.

Joe Rogan 47:11 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Kurt Metzger 47:12 It was like Southern tobacco farming. So it's, like, what, country's strongest arms? It's crazy how strong they are.

Joe Rogan 47:17 Do you know how crazy that is? That's actually a u- uh, a workout for CrossFit.

Kurt Metzger 47:21 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 47:21 Or the kettlebell workout, it's called the Farmer's Walk or Farmer's Carry.

Kurt Metzger 47:24 Did you see the-

Joe Rogan 47:25 You take a heavy kettlebell in each hand and you walk with it, so you do work.

Kurt Metzger 47:28 Oh, you just-

Joe Rogan 47:28 (laughs) You just-

Kurt Metzger 47:28 Why not just get a job?

Joe Rogan 47:30 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 47:30 (laughs) You probably... Wow, that is really...

Joe Rogan 47:33 It's, it's interesting.

Kurt Metzger 47:33 I would just farm at that point. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:35 Well, farmer strength-

Kurt Metzger 47:37 To all the emotions.

Joe Rogan 47:37 Farmer strength is a real strength.

Kurt Metzger 47:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:39 Like, people, like, wrestlers always talk about farmer strength. That's like a, like, an expression.

Kurt Metzger 47:45 I mean, it sounds so close to retard strength, but... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:48 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 47:48 But I get it.

Joe Rogan 47:48 Well, you can still say farmer strength. But the idea is you're building, picking up bales of hay all day.

Kurt Metzger 47:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:52 Like, they're doing things all day. And instead of working out, which is like you burn yourself out in an hour.

Kurt Metzger 47:57 No, that's the most tremendous-

Joe Rogan 47:59 They're just working.

Kurt Metzger 48:00 Just, I even go... My friend's dad drove a, a, a truck, you know, a tractor trailer cross country, and his fucking, he had like Popeye forearms-

Joe Rogan 48:06 Oh, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 48:06 ... 'cause the shifter on his thing.

Joe Rogan 48:09 (fart noise) Yeah. Oh, I'm sure.

Kurt Metzger 48:09 He was fearsomely strong. (laughs) It was like-

Joe Rogan 48:12 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 48:12 It was upsetting how strong of a h- his dad was. And, and I just remember, like, everybody's dad had a job like that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:18 Well, think about-

Kurt Metzger 48:19 That was-

Joe Rogan 48:19 ... some jobs like lumberjack.... like, a lumberjack-

Kurt Metzger 48:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:23 ... you immediately think of a giant man, right?

Kurt Metzger 48:26 I think of the paper towel giant.

Joe Rogan 48:28 Yes.

Kurt Metzger 48:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:29 That, did that, for that job-

Kurt Metzger 48:30 Is he a giant?

Joe Rogan 48:31 He was a lumberjack, right? The paper towel guy, was he a giant?

Kurt Metzger 48:33 The Brawny guy's not a giant.

Joe Rogan 48:34 He is?

Kurt Metzger 48:34 He literally is a normal man.

Narrator 48:35 Paul, Paul Bunyan is not the Brawny guy, but they look the same. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 48:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:38 Was he, is the Brawny guy a rip-off of the Paul Bunyan character?

Narrator 48:40 Well, Paul Bunyan's like the, uh, the old fairytale or whatever.

Joe Rogan 48:42 But what is... Are we imagining the Brawny guy incorrectly? I have a feeling he's just a regular-sized guy. I think he's just a handsome-

Kurt Metzger 48:48 It's just that he's the kinda guy men and women wanna fuck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:50 That's right. He's like a Marlboro Man-type character.

Kurt Metzger 48:53 (laughs)

Narrator 48:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:55 (laughs) He would be the guy that starts the orgy in the LSD camp. Yeah, it's a regular dude.

Kurt Metzger 48:59 Oh, he's clean... Now he looks like, uh, Teddy-

Joe Rogan 49:01 He's a regular dude. I don't think he's-

Kurt Metzger 49:01 ... from, uh...

Joe Rogan 49:02 It's just a perspective thing.

Narrator 49:03 Oh, there's... Well, I remember there's an older guy.

Joe Rogan 49:04 Yeah, see?

Narrator 49:05 Yeah, with, with the beard.

Joe Rogan 49:05 But the other... That's what I'm saying.

Kurt Metzger 49:06 Yeah, there we go. I don't remember this guy.

Joe Rogan 49:08 The other guy with the mustache, the guy with the mustache on the left-hand side? Yeah, he's just a regular-sized guy with some trees behind him.

Kurt Metzger 49:14 The guy... Now, the, the, um, the guy in the top two, is that the same guy, or is that different mustache guys?

Joe Rogan 49:19 The new guy is, uh, that, that guy is-

Kurt Metzger 49:23 He died of HIV, sadly. That's why we have this new one. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:26 (laughs) Like, how did... I don't understand why they got rid of the old Brawny guy and made a totally different guy a Brawny guy.

Narrator 49:31 Yeah, I'm mad at it.

Kurt Metzger 49:31 It's clean f-

Joe Rogan 49:31 'Cause this, this Brawny guy looks like he lives in Long Island and, uh, you know?

Kurt Metzger 49:36 Yeah, he really (laughs) ... He looks like Adam Carolla.

Narrator 49:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:38 He owns a travel company. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 49:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:42 (laughs) He put... He's got a, like, one of them, uh, second market-

Kurt Metzger 49:46 Wait.

Joe Rogan 49:46 ... ticket sales companies.

Narrator 49:48 Yeah, they had a thing at the start.

Kurt Metzger 49:49 "Strength has no gender."

Joe Rogan 49:51 What is that?

Kurt Metzger 49:52 It's a Brawny-

Joe Rogan 49:52 Is that a Brawny commercial? Please-

Narrator 49:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:54 ... don't say that's real.

Narrator 49:55 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 49:55 Yeah.

Narrator 49:55 Yeah, it's fine. I didn't get it.

Joe Rogan 49:56 "Strength has no gender." That's true, I guess.

Kurt Metzger 50:03 Why are they in a... Well, they... Wow, it looks really like a lesbian book club of some kind. (laughs) Like, look at the...

Joe Rogan 50:09 There are definitely women that are stronger than some men.

Kurt Metzger 50:12 Yeah, well, I-

Joe Rogan 50:12 So I get it, but-

Kurt Metzger 50:13 I don't know why... I don't... First of all, I don't even know why, why a paper towel would tell me anything.

Joe Rogan 50:18 Well, not only that, why is it assuming that I don't think that women are strong? (laughs) It's assuming it. That's why they have that ad.

Kurt Metzger 50:24 Well, it's not ad... It's not an ad. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:25 It says, "Strength has no gender." Well, okay, listen to this.

Kurt Metzger 50:27 It's at women, it's at women.

Joe Rogan 50:28 Okay, but listen.

Kurt Metzger 50:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:29 What if it was us? What if it was a co- a bunch of meathead-looking men standing there that said, "Strength has no gender"?

Kurt Metzger 50:34 'Cause you go outside, dude.

Joe Rogan 50:35 People would be like, "Hey, fuck you."

Kurt Metzger 50:36 (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 50:37 "Fuck you. We know you're strong."

Kurt Metzger 50:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:39 "Stop. Stop. Women are strong too." Like, "Okay, I didn't say you weren't."

Kurt Metzger 50:43 Well...

Joe Rogan 50:43 "I just said strength has no gender, and here's h- me and my friend."

Kurt Metzger 50:46 That... Somebody in marketing, that's like the, the... Whoever does the marketing, they're like, "What do women-"

Joe Rogan 50:51 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 50:51 Who are the Don Drapers that go, "What do women want?"

Joe Rogan 50:54 There's a Brawny with girls.

Kurt Metzger 50:55 Like, they're white, they are angry, they don't think they're strong. (laughs) Like, that's the, uh, that's the purely the... It's like the dumb dad on the sitcom thing. That's just like a thing that's been going on for, I don't know, forever, that image, that insulting fucking...

Joe Rogan 51:08 Yeah. They're teaching you about life-

Kurt Metzger 51:10 Because all-

Joe Rogan 51:10 ... while they're selling you paper towels. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 51:11 Because every woman is an engineer. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:15 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 51:15 (laughs)

Narrator 51:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:15 But that picture, go back to that picture. I would feel so sold out if I was a guy and I was really into Brawny 'cause it r-... I kinda look like the Brawny guy.

Kurt Metzger 51:22 I mean, if you-

Joe Rogan 51:23 And I go to buy my Brawny towels-

Kurt Metzger 51:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:25 ... and there's three chicks.

Kurt Metzger 51:26 If you were a guy-

Joe Rogan 51:26 They stole the position.

Narrator 51:28 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 51:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:29 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 51:29 If you felt like the Brawny guy... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:31 But literally, it's like pregnant men. Okay? The Brawny guy is a goddamn lumberjack. I would assume most lumberjacks are, are, are probably big strong men, right?

Kurt Metzger 51:42 You don't think he became a gay kinda icon a li-... A whi-... I mean, I understand that what you're saying-

Joe Rogan 51:46 But the idea that they have three female lumberjacks. Three. Pose.

Kurt Metzger 51:49 Well, you gotta do the job of one man.

Joe Rogan 51:53 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 51:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:53 That was a lob.

Kurt Metzger 51:54 You've gotta-

Joe Rogan 51:54 A lob for the grand slam. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 51:56 He has to jack the lumber of one full man. This is gonna take three of these strong ladies. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:01 Yeah. It's just, h-... What are the percentages of women that are lumberjacks, and what's the likelihood of three of them being on a team?

Kurt Metzger 52:07 It looks... In, in that picture, he looks like a guy who's about to take his shit a lot.

Joe Rogan 52:11 And by the way, this is an ignorant question. I, I'm aware. If you're a female lumberjack and you're mad at me right now, I'm sorry. I don't know anybody that's a female lumberjack. I'm just as- just asking questions. They're, I mean, they're wearing lumberjack clothes. That's what a lumberjack wears.

Kurt Metzger 52:25 No, he should.

Joe Rogan 52:25 I'm assuming... Are you posing?

Narrator 52:26 He might have a shirt.

Joe Rogan 52:27 What is this?

Kurt Metzger 52:27 Look at that guy.

Joe Rogan 52:27 Is this stolen valor?

Kurt Metzger 52:28 He's got susp-... If you have s-... (laughs) It is stolen valor.

Joe Rogan 52:31 Is this stolen valor? Is this stolen valor? Are you pretending you're out there-

Kurt Metzger 52:34 You wear... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:34 ... carrying trees?

Kurt Metzger 52:35 You wearing a lumberjack shirt is stolen valor.

Joe Rogan 52:37 It's stolen valor. These aren't lumberjacks.

Kurt Metzger 52:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:39 These are models. These are hot chicks with nice nails. They're not out there carrying trees and shit.

Kurt Metzger 52:45 You know, they could... By the way-

Joe Rogan 52:47 Look at that girl. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 52:47 ... they're, they're not... Who... You know, I'll tell you what. The women that do do that job?

Joe Rogan 52:50 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 52:50 I promise they're not gonna put on the paper towels.

Joe Rogan 52:53 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 52:53 There's... You're right.

Joe Rogan 52:54 They're gonna look like you. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 52:55 There's like... Yeah. Just fucking put a wig on the guy.

Joe Rogan 52:58 Look at that one lady with her sleeves rolled up. Are you about to go to work? Look at her. To... Go to that picture. Click on that. She's got this really thin body, these really thin arms, and she's got her sleeves rolled up with a flanner shir- flannel shirt on in front of a bunch of trees. Are you about to chop trees down, ma'am? Because-

Kurt Metzger 53:14 Um-

Joe Rogan 53:14 ... you weigh 90 pounds.

Kurt Metzger 53:16 I think the-

Joe Rogan 53:16 You better get the fuck outta the way of those trees.

Kurt Metzger 53:17 I think the idea is to make you think that you... Feel like a lumberjack while you're wiping your counter down is the-

Narrator 53:22 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 53:22 ... is what they're trying to convey.

Joe Rogan 53:23 I think we need to be more respectful about what the fuck it means to be a lumberjack. I would think y- you, you would think that that would be romantic until you did that job eight hours a day, five days a week.

Kurt Metzger 53:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:33 And your fucking body's broken down 'cause you're carrying logs on your shoulder and shit.

Kurt Metzger 53:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:38 You're chopping at trees.

Kurt Metzger 53:39 Oh, my God. Was your father a lumberjack? 'Cause that sounds very... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:42 No, this is what I feel. (laughs) You, you can't pretend you're a goddamn lumberjack. You can't take a hot model and cover her face with a little bit of coal powder and pretend she's a coal miner in West Virginia getting black lung. You can't 'cause she's not. (laughs) If you don't- (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 53:59 That sounds like a great porno.

Joe Rogan 54:00 Unless I believe you, you're not a lumberjack, lady. And that guy... Okay, Brawny. What if, what if that was for Similac and, uh, he was breastfeeding?

Narrator 54:10 What about that guy?

Kurt Metzger 54:11 Dude, that would be fucking hilarious.

Joe Rogan 54:12 He's all like, "What?" So it's just as likely as that lady being a lumberjack.

Kurt Metzger 54:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:15 Just as likely that the Brawny guy is breastfeeding.

Kurt Metzger 54:20 (laughs) Yeah, bre-... I think.

Joe Rogan 54:22 Yes. Just as likely.... lumberjack is a f- (laughs) brutal, physical ... yo- it's, if a woman's doing it, that woman's gonna be jacked. She's gonna be strong as fuck.

Kurt Metzger 54:33 What's the one that, uh-

Joe Rogan 54:34 Jean shirt. If they just left it with that, less issues.

Kurt Metzger 54:37 Dude, what's the one that kicked off the whole, like, uh, oh, the Gillette one, like the one that kicked off the whole, uh, uh, like, "fuck men" advertising strategy?

Joe Rogan 54:46 What was that one?

Kurt Metzger 54:47 You know, the fucking Gillette ... I don't, I don't even-

Joe Rogan 54:49 What happened?

Kurt Metzger 54:49 It was a while ago. It's that-

Joe Rogan 54:51 Did I miss it?

Kurt Metzger 54:52 It was like, uh-

Joe Rogan 54:52 Did I miss some outrage? Yeah, we talked about it, I'm sure.

Kurt Metzger 54:54 You must-

Joe Rogan 54:55 Oh.

Kurt Metzger 54:55 ... have talked about it.

Joe Rogan 54:55 Which one was it?

Kurt Metzger 54:56 It was hilari- it was about, uh, uh-

Joe Rogan 54:58 It's like Gillette, The Best a Man Can Get. Oh, Gillette, The Best a Man Can Get.

Kurt Metzger 54:59 Is this, is this The Best a Man Can Get? And then they would sh- (laughs) and it was like, "The Me Too movement, time's up." Fucking, the guy's looking in the mirror at himself, and then it, it cuts ... do you, uh, you don't remember this?

Joe Rogan 55:12 Oh, now I remember it.

Kurt Metzger 55:12 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:12 Now I remember it. Yeah. It was preposterous.

Kurt Metzger 55:14 I am pretty high, so. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:15 No, no, no. I remember it now. I've, I've blocked it out, like a childhood molestation.

Kurt Metzger 55:20 Well, then there was like a f- an, a fake debate. Uh, all these people are like, "Oh, I'm never buying Gillette." You know, people are tweeting. They're throwing out their fucking-

Joe Rogan 55:27 Right.

Kurt Metzger 55:27 ... Gillette razors. And, um, and somebody told me, like, it's gr- it's brilliant, because it's to the women who are buying the razors. But here's the thing, the women that are buying ra- they're not into that either. The, a woman that's buying razors for a man is also not into the fucking Gillette ad. So whoever's in charge of the marketing, they, it's their entire, like ...

Joe Rogan 55:45 What do you think that is? Do you think that's like someone who decides they're gonna cash in-

Kurt Metzger 55:50 Yeah. Well, it's that-

Joe Rogan 55:51 ... on a movement, and they just say, "Maybe there's an opportunity here to make some money."

Kurt Metzger 55:55 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:55 And-

Kurt Metzger 55:55 Dude. Wait. Were you fu- uh, okay. I totally forgot. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:58 What? What? What?

Kurt Metzger 55:59 You, do you remember ... look at this.

Joe Rogan 56:01 The guy-

Kurt Metzger 56:01 Men with their fucking sitcom ... now, did you see what they just showed? It's like a-

Joe Rogan 56:06 The guy put his hand on her shoulder.

Kurt Metzger 56:07 No. It was a fucking sitcom-

Joe Rogan 56:09 Right.

Kurt Metzger 56:09 ... where a white guy grabs his Black maid's ass. And it's all the men in the audience going-

Joe Rogan 56:13 Right.

Kurt Metzger 56:13 ... "Ha ha ha." What fucking show is that? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:16 The sitcom where the guy would just fucking grab his maid's ass and everyone's like, "Yay!"

Kurt Metzger 56:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:20 Is there a show like that?

Kurt Metzger 56:21 No!

Joe Rogan 56:22 Maybe Married with Children? No?

Kurt Metzger 56:23 Look at it.

Joe Rogan 56:24 No, even then. Let me see it again? That's fake, but- That's so fake. That's weird.

Kurt Metzger 56:28 That's such a bizarre dynamic.

Joe Rogan 56:30 It's weird, because ... but it's re- you're right, you're dead right, because the, it's a recreation of something that didn't really happen.

Kurt Metzger 56:35 What is that, what is that supposed to be an example of?

Joe Rogan 56:37 Like, if that's a sitcom.

Kurt Metzger 56:37 That's not even like a mashup of anything I've ever seen.

Joe Rogan 56:40 But it's like they made a fake TV show?

Kurt Metzger 56:43 Yeah, that's, that's like-

Joe Rogan 56:44 Where that, uh-

Kurt Metzger 56:44 They ... "Here's an example of the type of shows you like." No one was watching that.

Joe Rogan 56:48 But that's not even a show, right? That's why it's so weird.

Kurt Metzger 56:50 Yes. It's, it's not even ... yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:51 So it's like a straw man show.

Kurt Metzger 56:52 The whole thing is a fucking straw man.

Joe Rogan 56:54 Right, but I mean, that, if, if they're ... but, but that's a weird way of doing it. Is that what they were depicting? Were they depicting a fake sitcom?

Kurt Metzger 57:00 Yeah, fake sitcom.

Joe Rogan 57:01 It seemed like it, right? Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 57:02 Would you-

Joe Rogan 57:02 I mean, it seemed like it was-

Kurt Metzger 57:03 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 57:04 Yeah, yeah. 'Cause it's, 'cause you watch their faces. ... fra- like, how weird is it they don't have a real example?

Kurt Metzger 57:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:09 They just show this guy on a fake set right there. There he is.

Kurt Metzger 57:11 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 57:11 Yeah. How weird is that?

Kurt Metzger 57:12 (laughs) That guy, h- like, not even a puppet did shit like that on one of the puppet sitcoms from the '90s.

Joe Rogan 57:18 And that's weird, too.

Kurt Metzger 57:19 Oh, look at this.

Joe Rogan 57:19 That guy put his hand on that girl's shoulder, and she had this weird look on her face, like, "Oh my God."

Kurt Metzger 57:25 I know, that's the craziest-

Joe Rogan 57:26 Like, if a woman put her hand-

Kurt Metzger 57:27 I thought it was a Joe Biden ki- campaign. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:29 If you were working with the woman and she put her hand on your shoulder like that, you'd be, it would be nothing.

Kurt Metzger 57:34 Um-

Joe Rogan 57:35 Right?

Kurt Metzger 57:36 Yeah. Well, it, it's not a good-

Joe Rogan 57:38 And that's what good for. Well, let's just-

Kurt Metzger 57:38 It's not a good example to put in your ad.

Joe Rogan 57:41 Let's just-

Kurt Metzger 57:41 I ... look, in a real situation, you're like, "Hey, I felt this weird thing." I'm sure there could be a situation that someone puts their hand on your shoulder and it's weird, right?

Joe Rogan 57:47 Oh, yeah.

Kurt Metzger 57:48 Not automatically.

Joe Rogan 57:49 Or M- or that you're, uh, they insulted you.

Kurt Metzger 57:51 Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 57:52 And then they put their hand on your shoulder.

Kurt Metzger 57:53 Why are you putting this ... the whole point that I can't get past is why the fuck is Gi- why are you talking about this?

Joe Rogan 57:58 Yeah. Why are ... aren't ... why aren't you telling me how great your razors are, you fucks?

Kurt Metzger 58:01 You should be begging me to buy your fucking razor.

Joe Rogan 58:03 (laughs) Exactly.

Kurt Metzger 58:03 You fucking moron.

Joe Rogan 58:05 What are you doing?

Kurt Metzger 58:06 They think it causes-

Joe Rogan 58:07 You, you're teaching people?

Kurt Metzger 58:09 No, 'cause then you talk about it, like on a podcast, right? And then they're like, "See, you've got engagement."

Joe Rogan 58:14 Hmm. Engagement.

Kurt Metzger 58:14 That doesn't mean people are gonna buy this shit.

Joe Rogan 58:16 I'm not gonna not buy it. I just think some marketing person fucked up. I don't think it's representative of the whole company.

Kurt Metzger 58:21 Um-

Joe Rogan 58:21 It's some marketing person. They just, they decided they were gonna like-

Kurt Metzger 58:24 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 58:25 ... hatch, or hitch a ride onto the back of this movement.

Kurt Metzger 58:29 A bunch of things did.

Joe Rogan 58:30 Yeah. For sure.

Kurt Metzger 58:31 A ton of things.

Joe Rogan 58:32 Isn't that weird when they do that? It's like, uh, like why-

Kurt Metzger 58:34 It's ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:35 ... you think I'm so stupid, I'm not gonna know what you're doing, that you're, you're-

Kurt Metzger 58:38 'Cause statistically, you are that stu-

Joe Rogan 58:40 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 58:40 They have some kind of research where they're like, "Yes, you are statistically."

Joe Rogan 58:43 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 58:43 It's like the, the letter from Nigeria to ...

Joe Rogan 58:46 Well, it's like they're trying to be creative, right? So they're like creative people that are making up these scenarios. Like, the, the commercial's like a little scenario. Here, we're gonna have a guy. His, his bush is too hairy.

Kurt Metzger 58:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:56 And he, he's posing for the picture with, for the-

Kurt Metzger 58:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 58:59 ... they're gonna send into space, but they want him to shave his sack and balls.

Kurt Metzger 59:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:02 That's the ... (laughs) I mean, I wanna, I wanna like show-

Kurt Metzger 59:07 Could you s- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:07 This is what I wanna show. I wanna show the guy going, "Well, we, we, we wanna use you, but," and the guy's like, "Fuck."

Kurt Metzger 59:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:15 And then you see him in the bathroom holding his ba-

Kurt Metzger 59:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:17 Did you see Joey Diaz's balls were on Twitch? Mm-hmm.

Kurt Metzger 59:20 No. They got- Whoa.

Joe Rogan 59:21 The Comedy Store got in trouble, and there's like a, a real violation.

Kurt Metzger 59:25 Wait.

Joe Rogan 59:25 What is it? A FTC or FD?

Kurt Metzger 59:27 Wait a minute.

Joe Rogan 59:27 What is this? The FDA might've violated him. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 59:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:31 Jo- they do it at Comedy Store live-

Kurt Metzger 59:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:34 ... fucking, um, quarantine podcast.

Kurt Metzger 59:36 Why would he get to his balls?

Joe Rogan 59:37 'Cause he pulls 'em out. He's bored.

Kurt Metzger 59:39 No.

Joe Rogan 59:39 So Joey Diaz just pulls his balls out, and he's holding onto them-

Kurt Metzger 59:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:42 ... like he's got two kitten heads in an old lady's pantyhose. (laughs) I mean, they're fuck- they're the biggest balls you've ever seen in your life.

Kurt Metzger 59:49 Isn't that a violation of Twitch to fully have your balls? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they got kicked off of Twitch. It wasn't good. But you gotta see the video.

Kurt Metzger 59:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:56 (laughs) The video's hilarious. Can you s- can you find the video? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. I have it on my phone. I saved it. Here's how good it was. It was so good, I screened ...

Kurt Metzger 1:00:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:04 ... I screen recorded it 'cause I'm like, "This is gonna go away. They're gonna pull this down 'cause people are communists, and they don't, they don't wanna see something amazing." So watch this here.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 So, so-

Kurt Metzger 1:00:15 Wait.

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 ... look. Th- that's a screenshot of someone filming it.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:18 That looks like, uh, from ... dude, I thought he had fake balls-

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 No, those are real.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:21 ... as a joke.

Joe Rogan 1:00:21 Those are real. I've seen them for years. I've s- the first time I saw 'em was in '96. (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 1:00:26 He's got a lot of ball skin, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 Dude, his, his balls are softballs. They're softballs stuffed in, uh, uh, uh, flesh-covered-

Kurt Metzger 1:00:37 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 ... pantyhose.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:37 Bert's got his shirt off. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Yeah. It's chaos.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 It's chaos. Yeah. I don't ... I j- I just, I'll donate money.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:45 Yo, goddamn.

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:47 'Cause I'm just thinking of the amount of distance of scrotum you need to flop them out that amount.

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 Those balls are preposterous.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:54 They're, they're-

Kurt Metzger 1:00:54 He's obligated to take them out so you understand about-

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Yeah, so you get what he's saying.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 He's not playing any games.

Kurt Metzger 1:00:59 So that you get what he's saying.

Joe Rogan 1:01:00 This is his real balls. There it is. There's a screen grab.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:03 Holy-

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 That's probably ... He could go to jail for that or something. Everybody got assaulted.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:09 I, well-

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 Can't believe Bert takes his shirt off.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:10 ... I might have not said that until I saw the size of those balls. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:13 Bert's in a trap. Bert's trapped.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:16 Never pulled your shirt back up?

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 And I have to take ... Yeah.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 He's trapped in an I always have to take my shirt off thing.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:21 Same thing happened to Tig Notaro.

Joe Rogan 1:01:23 (laughs)

Kurt Metzger 1:01:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 How many, uh, ladies ... Oh, that's even darker. I forgot about Tig's ... Anyway.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Terrible person.

Kurt Metzger 1:01:36 I know, I got so high. Um-

Joe Rogan 1:01:38 Yeah, though imagine, why can't women do that? Is there a topless female comic?

Kurt Metzger 1:01:42 'Cause you don't ... It's not s- ... When Bert's taking his shirt off, it's not like sexual except to like, you know, if you're into bears, it's not like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 Right. But is there a woman that could do that same kind of thing?

Kurt Metzger 1:01:52 She has to be not attractive.

Joe Rogan 1:01:55 Hm. But that's the whole Bert thing too though, right?

Kurt Metzger 1:01:57 Listen. Gee, to be a guy, you don't wanna be that hot.

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 Yeah. Well, Bert's ... Because his body's large, that's why he takes his shirt off.

Kurt Metzger 1:02:05 I feel like it was braver of him to have his shirt off than anyone ever taking their shirt off.

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 No, because it's part of the fun. It's part of the I don't give a fuck-

Kurt Metzger 1:02:11 Y- it's brave, I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Is it brave for Bert?

Kurt Metzger 1:02:13 'Cause you don't