Joe Rogan Experience #1462 - Kurt Metzger

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (mimicking a drum roll) And we're live.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (mimicking a drum roll) And we're live.

   2. KMKurt Metzger0:03

      Hey.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      Look at you-

   4. KMKurt Metzger0:04

      Boy.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      ... smoking a blunt.

   6. KMKurt Metzger0:05

      I know. I've-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      This is your celebratory blunt.

   8. KMKurt Metzger0:07

      Holy shit, dude. I- I'm still a little bit-

   9. NANarrator0:10

      (laughs)

   10. KMKurt Metzger0:10

       That felt like getting a AIDS test.

   11. NANarrator0:12

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:13

       But you're clean. You're good.

   13. KMKurt Metzger0:14

       I know. It's weird. (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       But you knew you were healthy. You feel good.

   15. KMKurt Metzger0:18

       Yeah. I haven't felt like I had something.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       So you were aware you were one of the asymptomatic people.

   17. KMKurt Metzger0:22

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       They said as many as 60 to 70% could be asymptomatic.

   19. KMKurt Metzger0:27

       Right. So, like, I don't wanna-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Yeah.

   21. KMKurt Metzger0:28

       ... I don't have it, but then I gotta drive all the way back. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Well, that's why it's such a creepy disease. Like, there was a Anderson Cooper thing that, that was, we were talking about it earlier, where the mayor of Las Vegas was on with Anderson Cooper.

   23. KMKurt Metzger0:38

       Oh, yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       And, uh, he was describing to her how one asymptomatic people, person can go to a restaurant, and it showed this chart of all the people that infected, got infected by this one. So, he's trying to say to her-

   25. KMKurt Metzger0:50

       How are they getting infected? Just the air?

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       Just the air. Yeah. So he's trying to tell... This is completely theoretical. First of all, I don't know... The, the, the people that are saying this from Chi- I mean, I, I, I mean, maybe they touched the same things, maybe there was a bunch of different factors.

   27. KMKurt Metzger1:07

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       I don't know. I'm guessing it was just because of the air. But I don't trust a goddamn thing they're saying that's coming from China.

   29. KMKurt Metzger1:14

       Yeah, no, no. I wouldn't. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:15

       If anything they say, if they're saying something, it's been approved by the government.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Hi, aliens. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      image. It's, it's very weird.

   2. KMKurt Metzger15:02

      Hi, aliens.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      Yeah.

   4. KMKurt Metzger15:04

      Here's my dick.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      But it's also, it's like it's weird in just that w- we're kind of acknowledging that superior intellects would think clothes are weird.

   6. KMKurt Metzger15:13

      Is that what that is?

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      Yeah. We're letting them know. Like, underneath all our B- Adidas and our fucking jeans, this is, this is what we have.

   8. KMKurt Metzger15:20

      They must have argued about that too.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:21

      (laughs)

   10. KMKurt Metzger15:21

       They must have had, like, a long conversation.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:23

       Yes, I'm sure.

   12. KMKurt Metzger15:23

       Like-

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:24

       These fucking... The people that are funding this are like, "Really? We draw on a dick and send it out to the aliens?"

   14. KMKurt Metzger15:31

       W- who is funding it?

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:32

       I don't know, but...

   16. KMKurt Metzger15:33

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       I mean, who is, who was making the calls?

   18. KMKurt Metzger15:35

       It sounds like the cowboy guy from The Simpsons. Uh-

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       Was probably a Nazi.

   20. KMKurt Metzger15:39

       Oh, yeah. That... (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       Yeah. Honestly. Like, legitimately.

   22. KMKurt Metzger15:42

       That's right, didn't we get all... Like Wernher von Braun or... Oh, yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       Oh, yeah.

   24. KMKurt Metzger15:46

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       Dude, Wernher von Braun was a legit Nazi. They used to hang the slowest Jews in front of his rocket factory in Berlin. Yeah.

   26. KMKurt Metzger15:55

       Jesus.

   27. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       They hung them in front of every... Oh, dude. The Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive, they'd prosecute him for crimes against humanity.

   28. KMKurt Metzger16:01

       What do you mean the slowest? Did they have a race?

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:02

       Like, they had something where they would m- make everybody work faster and harder by killing the slow...

   30. KMKurt Metzger16:08

       Oh, where he hung all the slow Jews. That's what-
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. KMKurt Metzger30:00

      Like-

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      Yeah.

   3. KMKurt Metzger30:01

      'Cause that, that was a big business before this and it's like, how do I adjust my business, which is ... 'Cause I don't think anyone is outraged.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Nagging people. Right, fake outrage.

   5. KMKurt Metzger30:07

      Yeah, no, no one is outraged. I mean, I've-

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      ... do you think they aren't? Or do you think they-

   7. KMKurt Metzger30:12

      I know, I know the answer.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:12

      ... are false? They're, they're foolishly focusing on things that are not as important?

   9. KMKurt Metzger30:18

      Well, that, that's if you are serious about it. That's what he-

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       Right. If you are.

   11. KMKurt Metzger30:20

       But that's not the people that, like, you know, make a living off doing it. If I see it in the media, then you, it's not sincere.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:26

       Well, there's-

   13. KMKurt Metzger30:27

       100%.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       Well, there's a lot of that, for sure. But there's a lot of thing... You can't rule out people actually being upset about something that's legitimately upsetting. Like-

   15. KMKurt Metzger30:35

       I, unless you're making... It's almost like the thing we were talking about, the preacher thing.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:38

       Yeah.

   17. KMKurt Metzger30:38

       If you're m- getting rich off it, I don't believe you.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       Well, the problem is, it's like a cry wolf thing. It's like, there are some things that... Like, did you see the, the Elon Musk, uh, beef that he got in with, uh, someone who is a reporter for CNN?

   19. KMKurt Metzger30:51

       Yeah. Why? Okay. Why are they so anti-him?

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       I don't know. I don't know, but it didn't make any sense, because he said, "Are you-"

   21. KMKurt Metzger30:58

       It's the respirator thing.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       Yeah. And he said-

   23. KMKurt Metzger30:59

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       ... "Are you aware that there's a search function on Twitter?"

   25. KMKurt Metzger31:02

       And then they played little semantic games to f- to get-

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       Well, he started re-tweeting these different nurses that are showing these respirators and they're like thanking him and smiling-

   27. KMKurt Metzger31:11

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:11

       ... and, and holding up the Tesla sign.

   29. KMKurt Metzger31:13

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       And he showed all the different places that are getting those respirators-
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Wow. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      Dudley, he only takes four arrows.

   2. KMKurt Metzger45:02

      Wow.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      That's it. He only has four, because it weighs your bow down. He doesn't want a bunch of weight over here on the side of his bow.

   4. KMKurt Metzger45:07

      So the, the analogy-

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      So it's like people.

   6. KMKurt Metzger45:08

      ... is to not have too many kids.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:10

      Yeah, if you have 19-

   8. KMKurt Metzger45:11

      Their, theirs is like, have 19 arrows.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      (laughs) I know, but that's a bad analogy. Like, but, uh, but the idea, like, "Oh, I'm gonna have 100 arrows." Okay.

   10. KMKurt Metzger45:20

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:20

       But you gotta carry those around stupid.

   12. KMKurt Metzger45:21

       Do you know who founded it, the idea? And by the way, it's not its own religion. It's a thing that there, if you're just like, you could be a Methodist and you're in that movement.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:30

       Mm-hmm.

   14. KMKurt Metzger45:30

       Do you know what I mean? I think. Uh, the founders are some dude who's, uh, still there, and, uh, this chick who, uh, former feminist (laughs) who, who changed to this, like, she went the other-

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       Oh, wow.

   16. KMKurt Metzger45:42

       ... extreme.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:43

       That happens too sometimes.

   18. KMKurt Metzger45:45

       Yeah. That, when you see-

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       People flip-flop the other way.

   20. KMKurt Metzger45:47

       If you thought you didn't like, like, the, the hyper-left, like, kids, wait until they become Republicans, how much you're not gonna like them.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:53

       Oh, th- their kids are gonna become Republicans, for sure. There's a lot of them are gonna flip, a lot of them are gonna get older. They're gonna... We, we were talking yesterday on the podcast I did with Owen Smith, we were talking about farmers. How so- most farmers, like, they, a lot of them are Christian and a lot of them are, uh, right wing.

   22. KMKurt Metzger46:10

       Why is that?

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       A lot of them are right wing.

   24. KMKurt Metzger46:12

       Oh yeah, that I do know.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       And I was saying because they're no-nonsense people, because they get up at 6:00 in the fucking morning every day.

   26. KMKurt Metzger46:19

       (laughs) They have to.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:19

       And they feed the chickens and milk the cows.

   28. KMKurt Metzger46:21

       Right.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:21

       And they have to do it every goddamn day.

   30. KMKurt Metzger46:23

       And then, yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:02:15

   (laughs) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      my phone. I saved it. Here's how good it was. It was so good, I screened ...

   2. KMKurt Metzger1:00:04

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

      ... I screen recorded it 'cause I'm like, "This is gonna go away. They're gonna pull this down 'cause people are communists, and they don't, they don't wanna see something amazing." So watch this here.

   4. KMKurt Metzger1:00:14

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

      So, so-

   6. KMKurt Metzger1:00:15

      Wait.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

      ... look. Th- that's a screenshot of someone filming it.

   8. KMKurt Metzger1:00:18

      That looks like, uh, from ... dude, I thought he had fake balls-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      No, those are real.

   10. KMKurt Metzger1:00:21

       ... as a joke.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       Those are real. I've seen them for years. I've s- the first time I saw 'em was in '96. (laughs)

   12. KMKurt Metzger1:00:26

       He's got a lot of ball skin, dude.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       Dude, his, his balls are softballs. They're softballs stuffed in, uh, uh, uh, flesh-covered-

   14. KMKurt Metzger1:00:37

       Oh my God.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       ... pantyhose.

   16. KMKurt Metzger1:00:37

       Bert's got his shirt off. (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       Yeah. It's chaos.

   18. KMKurt Metzger1:00:40

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:40

       It's chaos. Yeah. I don't ... I j- I just, I'll donate money.

   20. KMKurt Metzger1:00:45

       Yo, goddamn.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:46

       Yeah.

   22. KMKurt Metzger1:00:47

       'Cause I'm just thinking of the amount of distance of scrotum you need to flop them out that amount.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       Those balls are preposterous.

   24. KMKurt Metzger1:00:54

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       They're, they're-

   26. KMKurt Metzger1:00:54

       He's obligated to take them out so you understand about-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       Yeah, so you get what he's saying.

   28. KMKurt Metzger1:00:58

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:00:58

       He's not playing any games.

   30. KMKurt Metzger1:00:59

       So that you get what he's saying.

Episode duration: 3:18:01