Joe Rogan Experience #1468 - Alonzo Bodden

Joe Rogan 0:00 ... one. Hello, Alonzo Bodden.

Alonzo Bodden 0:02 Joe, I am negative.

Joe Rogan 0:04 I know! But you're positive. You're a positive person.

Alonzo Bodden 0:07 I'm positive. I'm a positive person, life is good, but the test is negative. Which, that's always what you wanna hear after a medical test.

Joe Rogan 0:15 Yeah, basically.

Alonzo Bodden 0:16 The test is n- I can't... I'm trying to think, is there any one where you wanna hear, "The results were positive"? I think you always wanna hear, "Yeah, this one came up negative."

Joe Rogan 0:24 Yeah. How come no diseases ever make us better?

Alonzo Bodden 0:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:26 There's not like a disease that's like a Marvel comic book-

Alonzo Bodden 0:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:31 ...where you catch it.

Alonzo Bodden 0:31 Yeah. How come I can't get hit with gamma radiation-

Joe Rogan 0:34 Right! Like, look what happened to The Hulk and Spider-Man.

Alonzo Bodden 0:36 ...and just... Just, every time I get mad at somebody, just Hulk out. But, you, you know, they never show, like, everyday things with The Hulk. Like, suppose he's in a car, right? Now your car, The Hulk just grew, tore up your car. "Hello-"

Joe Rogan 0:48 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 0:48 "...State Farm. Yeah. You're not gonna believe what just happened to my car." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:51 Yeah. The, the, the concept of The Hulk that's on all the time annoys the shit out of me. You know that he's The Hulk now constantly, 24 hours a day?

Alonzo Bodden 0:58 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:59 And then he's smart, and he's, he's just like-

Alonzo Bodden 1:00 Right, The Intelligent Hulk.

Joe Rogan 1:01 Come on. He's... So, he's Bruce Banner all the time. He's Bruce Banner, but he's also The Hulk.

Alonzo Bodden 1:07 I, um, I'm-

Joe Rogan 1:08 Fuck.

Alonzo Bodden 1:09 We were talking about reading, which is what I'm doing now, and I got this book. It's like 10 years of The Hulk. It's like 1,000 (laughs) pages of Hulk comics.

Joe Rogan 1:18 Jesus.

Alonzo Bodden 1:18 A 10-year run, and the story is, it's great. It's the gray Hulk, who was smart, but not like the movie one, but he was smarter than the regular one, and he would-

Joe Rogan 1:29 Oh, really?

Alonzo Bodden 1:29 He would only change at night, like a vampi- like a werewolf.

Joe Rogan 1:33 Werewolf? (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:33 Yeah. So, it's... So, it's like, "Hey, this is how much free time I have, Joe." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:38 Well, I think the new Hulk, they probably missed Mark Ruffalo's acting. He's such a good actor-

Alonzo Bodden 1:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:43 ...and they didn't have enough room for him to just... I mean, there's so many people in that movie, right? You got Captain America, you got all these fucking people, you got Iron Man. He pro-... They probably were like, "Mark Ruffalo's just not talking enough-"

Alonzo Bodden 1:54 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:54 "...because most of the time we need him as The Hulk, so I got an idea."

Alonzo Bodden 1:57 Right, yes, somebody-

Joe Rogan 1:58 "Let's make him Mark Ruffalo The Hulk all the time."

Alonzo Bodden 2:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:00 "The Hulk has glasses now. He has fucking glasses!"

Alonzo Bodden 2:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:04 "He has glasses! It's so ridiculous!" No, the whole idea, you fucks, is supposed to be that he's a really smart guy, and then he's basically a monster.

Alonzo Bodden 2:12 A monster-

Joe Rogan 2:13 A monster-

Alonzo Bodden 2:13 ...with unlimited strength-

Joe Rogan 2:14 Yeah!

Alonzo Bodden 2:15 ...like, unlimited power.

Joe Rogan 2:16 Who talks like, "Hulk smash."

Alonzo Bodden 2:17 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 2:17 He's not smart.

Alonzo Bodden 2:19 Right. Like in, in the Thor movie where he's working as a fighter and he has, like, a room and he's, he's taking baths and stuff like that. What was that movie? Ragnarok? And he-

Joe Rogan 2:29 I didn't see that one.

Alonzo Bodden 2:30 You didn't see that one? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:31 No.

Alonzo Bodden 2:31 Where The Hulk is a fighter. He's like a gladiator, but he's treated like a hero, and he has all the gladiator stuff, you know, and it's like, yeah, The Hulk wouldn't be doing that. Like, The Hulk would just be smashing and destroying.

Joe Rogan 2:43 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I need to watch that one.

Alonzo Bodden 2:45 But, uh-

Joe Rogan 2:45 Oh, that's... See, I didn't see this movie. Damn, that looks dope. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 2:48 Oh, it's fun. Yeah, that's one of the... No, this is one of the funny ones, man. You gotta see that one.

Joe Rogan 2:52 So, The Hulk goes to battle, spoiler alert, with Thor?

Alonzo Bodden 2:55 Yeah, he-

Joe Rogan 2:56 Oh, Jesus.

Alonzo Bodden 2:56 But, but The Hulk's like a gladiator, and Thor ends up on the island and Thor ends up in the ring with him.

Joe Rogan 3:00 But it's dumb Hulk, right? Dumb Hulk's good Hulk. You don't want smart Hulk.

Alonzo Bodden 3:03 He's not, no. He's not fully du-... He's not as...

Joe Rogan 3:05 Damn.

Alonzo Bodden 3:05 He's not scientist Hulk, but he's smart enough to hold conversations.

Joe Rogan 3:09 What a mismatch that would be if it was real.

Alonzo Bodden 3:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:12 I mean, we... Are you ki- fucking kidding me, Thor? Just relax.

Alonzo Bodden 3:16 Well, s- I don't... How much did you-

Joe Rogan 3:18 That's Thor.

Alonzo Bodden 3:18 How much Marvel were you into growing up?

Joe Rogan 3:20 A little bit.

Alonzo Bodden 3:20 Were you into the... Okay, so... 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 3:21 Yeah, I didn't like DC that much, but I was a-

Alonzo Bodden 3:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:23 ...giant Marvel guy.

Alonzo Bodden 3:24 'Cause I was a big Marvel guy, and I tell people one of the big things, and they brought it up in the first Avenger movie, and this was a storyline, I remember this. The Hulk could never fight Thor because they were both so strong they would destroy the planet. 'Cause like, The Hulk's-

Joe Rogan 3:39 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 3:39 The Hulk's strength was unlimited 'cause the madder he got, the stronger he got.

Joe Rogan 3:44 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 3:44 And Thor's a god, which is something they never play in the movies, but in the comic books, every now and then, Thor would remind them like, "I'm a god."

Joe Rogan 3:52 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 3:52 "I can destroy the whole planet. Like, that's what I... My dad is the god." You know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:57 But that's the problem. If he's a god, then what the fuck is Captain Marvel? 'Cause that chick trumps everybody.

Alonzo Bodden 4:02 Right, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:03 She comes down and everybody's gotta sit the fuck down.

Alonzo Bodden 4:05 Yeah, I, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 4:05 "Mom's here."

Alonzo Bodden 4:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:07 "She's, she's the superhero mom." Captain Marvel's the number one superhero.

Alonzo Bodden 4:11 Yeah, she's the most powerful, although in the-

Joe Rogan 4:13 Yeah. If you wanna save the world, you call her.

Alonzo Bodden 4:15 In that last one, like when The Hulk... When, I mean, when Thor went to where he got the new ax made.

Joe Rogan 4:20 Yes, oh, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 4:21 That was like...

Joe Rogan 4:22 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 4:22 He was, like, controlling a sun, right? Wasn't there, like, the power of a sun was going...

Joe Rogan 4:26 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 4:26 You know, it, it's really... And, and this is what I love and this is what, what, why women laugh at us. 'Cause we're having this discussion right now.

Joe Rogan 4:35 Oh, yeah, for sure.

Alonzo Bodden 4:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:36 But the... But it's also what makes, uh... What, what, what is the, the, the really pretty girl's name? The s-... She's the scorp-

Alonzo Bodden 4:44 Scarlett.

Joe Rogan 4:44 Scarlett Johansson.

Alonzo Bodden 4:44 Johansson, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:45 What is her, uh, character?

Alonzo Bodden 4:46 Uh, Black Widow.

Joe Rogan 4:47 But she just kicks ass, right? She's just like a UFC girl.

Alonzo Bodden 4:49 Right, yeah. She doesn't have any powers. She's just-

Joe Rogan 4:50 It's like Valentina Shevchenko hanging out with Iron Man.

Alonzo Bodden 4:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:53 Right? That's what it's like. She's, she's-

Alonzo Bodden 4:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:55 Valentina Shevchenko is the UFC strawweight champion.

Alonzo Bodden 4:57 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 4:57 That's what it's like. It's...

Alonzo Bodden 4:59 And the other thing is, she shoot... Like, she has a gun, but no one they fight can be killed with bullets.

Joe Rogan 5:04 I'm sorry, she's a flyweight champion.

Alonzo Bodden 5:06 (laughs) She's strong weight.

Joe Rogan 5:07 Yeah, no one can be killed with bullets. And how about the dude, uh, Jeremy Renner's character?

Alonzo Bodden 5:11 Right, Hawkeye.

Joe Rogan 5:12 He's got a bow and arrow.

Alonzo Bodden 5:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:13 That is ridiculous. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 5:14 But he, he has a lot of special arrows.

Joe Rogan 5:16 But he doesn't even have a gun!

Alonzo Bodden 5:18 Yeah, at, at some point, like-

Joe Rogan 5:19 The fuck? You're fighting off aliens.

Alonzo Bodden 5:20 Like, you're fighting aliens with an... And you got a bow and arrow. It's like, man, you've skipped generations of weapons technology.

Joe Rogan 5:27 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 5:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:27 And he seems to never run out of arrows. It's amazing.

Alonzo Bodden 5:30 That's the, that's the super power. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:32 Yeah, but there's... Like, the balance, the imbalance in super power is so crazy. You can have a guy with a bow and arrow or the fucking Hulk.

Alonzo Bodden 5:39 Right, or-

Joe Rogan 5:39 "Hawkeye has no superhuman powers with the exception of the period when using Pym particles to become Goliath."

Narrator 5:47 I don't know about that.

Joe Rogan 5:47 Okay, whatever, dorks. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 5:49 Okay.

Joe Rogan 5:49 "He's at the very peak of human conditioning." Sure he is. "He's an exceptional fencer, acrobat, and a grandmaster marksman, having been trained from childhood in the circus by the criminal's trick shot and..." Oh, boy. Well-I'm a big Jeremy Renner fan. I like that guy a lot.

Alonzo Bodden 6:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:05 However, we have to be realistic about superpowers. You got the Hulk on one hand, you got Captain Marvel on the other hand, and a dude who's, like, uh, uh, an acrobat-

Alonzo Bodden 6:14 Yeah, Hawkeye-

Joe Rogan 6:15 ... who's good at shooting shit.

Alonzo Bodden 6:16 ... I think Hawkeye's limit is fighting crime.

Joe Rogan 6:19 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 6:19 Right? Like, criminals, Hawkeye could take down, but when super powers and-

Joe Rogan 6:24 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 6:24 ... aliens and stuff come in, that's when you gotta-

Joe Rogan 6:27 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 6:27 ... you gotta make some phone calls.

Joe Rogan 6:28 But I just can't buy aliens coming at you and you're shooting them with a bow and arrow. I just-

Alonzo Bodden 6:33 No.

Joe Rogan 6:34 ... they came here from another planet.

Alonzo Bodden 6:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:35 You shot 'em with a bow and arrow? Come on. Come on. (laughs) You know?

Alonzo Bodden 6:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:39 That's-

Alonzo Bodden 6:39 Well, who else? Well, well, Captain America, like, his... He's just really strong, right?

Joe Rogan 6:44 Yeah, but c... Superhuman.

Alonzo Bodden 6:46 But... Yeah, superhuman strength.

Joe Rogan 6:47 But he's super... Part of a experiment.

Alonzo Bodden 6:48 Right.

Joe Rogan 6:49 But he's, like, bulletproof, isn't he?

Alonzo Bodden 6:50 No.

Joe Rogan 6:51 No?

Alonzo Bodden 6:51 No, he can be hurt.

Joe Rogan 6:52 But he heals really quick or something?

Alonzo Bodden 6:53 No, he can be hurt. Um-

Joe Rogan 6:55 But doesn't he heal real quick?

Alonzo Bodden 6:56 No. Uh, what, what's his name? Um-

Joe Rogan 6:58 Wolverine?

Alonzo Bodden 6:59 Wolverine heals-

Joe Rogan 6:59 That's right.

Alonzo Bodden 7:00 ... instantly.

Joe Rogan 7:01 But I thought Captain America had one of them jammies too. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 7:03 Not like... I don't think like Wolverine. He probably heals quicker or could take more pain or something than most. Let's see-

Joe Rogan 7:09 Captain America, okay, has agility, str-

Narrator 7:12 Oh, shit. Sorry.

Joe Rogan 7:13 ... agility, strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time superior to any Olympic athri- athlete who ever competed. LOL. The super soldier formula that he has metabolized has enhanced all of his bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency. Oh, he ain't shit.

Alonzo Bodden 7:28 No.

Joe Rogan 7:28 Iron Man can fuck him up.

Alonzo Bodden 7:29 Just peak, peak-

Joe Rogan 7:30 Right, again-

Alonzo Bodden 7:31 ... bodily functions, but that's it.

Joe Rogan 7:33 Right. You can't fuck with Iron Man with that bullshit-ass set of skills.

Alonzo Bodden 7:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:36 You're just a really strong dude.

Alonzo Bodden 7:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:40 (laughs) But in the movie, he's not. In that movie, he's way stronger than any person who's ever lived.

Alonzo Bodden 7:45 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:45 Way stronger.

Alonzo Bodden 7:45 And he's also the leader.

Joe Rogan 7:46 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 7:46 Like, he's the military strategy guy-

Joe Rogan 7:48 That's right.

Alonzo Bodden 7:48 ... I guess.

Joe Rogan 7:49 He's... He's the most sculpted.

Alonzo Bodden 7:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:51 Look at that face.

Alonzo Bodden 7:52 Iron Man tells you who he is, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Yeah, exactly.

Alonzo Bodden 7:54 Billionaire playboy philanthropist genius, you know (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 7:56 But all of them can eat shit. I want the Hulk. I want the Hulk to come out.

Alonzo Bodden 8:01 I, I would go... Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go Hulk.

Joe Rogan 8:03 In a fight?

Alonzo Bodden 8:03 I'm gonna go Hulk or Thor. Those would be my two in a fight.

Joe Rogan 8:06 Hm. Interesting.

Alonzo Bodden 8:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:07 Because I think Captain Marvel comes down, fucks them all up.

Alonzo Bodden 8:10 She's badass.

Joe Rogan 8:11 They gave her too many powers.

Alonzo Bodden 8:13 She's badass.

Joe Rogan 8:13 She almost has too many powers.

Alonzo Bodden 8:13 They gave her everything except a good movie.

Joe Rogan 8:16 That's true. They keep fucking her in the movie department.

Alonzo Bodden 8:19 Yeah. They, they-

Joe Rogan 8:19 Why? Why don't they-

Alonzo Bodden 8:20 Like, her movie was... Her movie was eh, so-to...

Joe Rogan 8:23 Eh.

Alonzo Bodden 8:23 Like, it filled the story-

Joe Rogan 8:24 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 8:24 ... so you knew who she was.

Joe Rogan 8:26 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 8:26 But it wasn't that great.

Joe Rogan 8:28 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 8:28 You know? And...

Joe Rogan 8:29 It didn't match up with someone who has the powers that she has. Like, she... Look, if you're playing a game and the game's good guys versus the bad guys, on your good guys side, you wanna have... Like, you'd be, like, real pumped if one person had way more power than anybody who was ever lived. That's her.

Alonzo Bodden 8:43 Right. Or you would just... You'd wait to play that card.

Joe Rogan 8:47 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 8:47 You know, you'd like, let people know, like, "Hey, don't let me have to pull Captain Marvel."

Joe Rogan 8:51 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 8:51 Like, "Don't make... Don't let me have to wake her up."

Joe Rogan 8:53 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 8:53 "Now you... 'Cause if she comes down here..." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:56 You're fucked. Everybody's fucked. But here's the thing, like, they, they can't figure out a way to make a good movie with that?

Alonzo Bodden 9:02 I, I don't know. I mean, a- again, the movie was, was all right, but it wasn't... It, it wasn't great. It didn't show-

Joe Rogan 9:10 She would have to have a boyfriend.

Alonzo Bodden 9:11 ... who she is.

Joe Rogan 9:12 That's why. She'd have to have a boyf- Like, remember when Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman had a boyfriend.

Alonzo Bodden 9:15 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:16 People liked it better.

Alonzo Bodden 9:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:17 Some regular soldier got to fuck Wonder Woman.

Alonzo Bodden 9:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 9:20 Remember?

Alonzo Bodden 9:22 And you know what? No one would believe you.

Joe Rogan 9:24 Yeah, you'd have to shut up about that.

Alonzo Bodden 9:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:26 But, yeah, um, um, I'm sure-

Alonzo Bodden 9:28 Man, I'm fucking Wonder Woman.

Joe Rogan 9:29 You can keep your mouth shut.

Alonzo Bodden 9:30 No, no, you're not (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 9:31 Yeah.

Narrator 9:32 Uh, there's, uh... I'm looking up Captain Marvel's powers, and a little question popped up, like, who is the strongest Marvel hero?

Joe Rogan 9:37 Yeah.

Narrator 9:37 Do you know?

Joe Rogan 9:38 Uh, the strongest? I would... I would... Uh, would he be Th- Captain Marvel or...

Narrator 9:45 Th-

Alonzo Bodden 9:45 Thor.

Narrator 9:45 Yeah, I thought it would be Thor or Hulk. It says also in the Destroyer, which I've never heard of, but it says Hercules. And I didn't know-

Joe Rogan 9:50 Hercules?

Narrator 9:51 ... Hercules was in there.

Joe Rogan 9:52 The fuck outta here with that bullshit.

Alonzo Bodden 9:53 Uh, Hercules was in, like, a few comic books, but I... He's not...

Narrator 9:57 Listen-

Alonzo Bodden 9:57 Hercules is a-

Narrator 9:58 Hercules ain't shit. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 9:58 Hercules ain't considered part of the Marvel Universe, right?

Joe Rogan 10:02 (laughs) No.

Alonzo Bodden 10:02 Like, Stan Lee didn't create Hercules.

Joe Rogan 10:05 Exactly.

Alonzo Bodden 10:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:06 Yeah, you're not allowed to do that. Like, uh, by, by the way, why would you have Hercules in a comic book? That's a such a cheap move.

Alonzo Bodden 10:12 I do, I do vaguely remember Hercules being in some Marvel comics, but, but no. He do- I don't think he counts. They didn't create him.

Joe Rogan 10:20 You got lucky with Thor. Leave it at that.

Narrator 10:22 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 10:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:23 You stole one god. You can't steal any other mythical characters.

Alonzo Bodden 10:26 Right.

Narrator 10:27 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 10:27 And, and it was cool with Thor because in the comic books, he was human too, right?

Joe Rogan 10:31 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 10:31 He had, like, a human form, and then he would turn into Thor.

Joe Rogan 10:35 Did he?

Alonzo Bodden 10:35 Yeah. In the comic books, he had a human form.

Joe Rogan 10:38 Oh, I don't remember that. But, but, you know, you would think that someone else could make a Thor movie. Like, why can't they make a Thor movie? Like an origin movie about Thor the god. Can you do that?

Alonzo Bodden 10:47 They might. They might. They have, um-

Joe Rogan 10:49 But no one's ever done that. Isn't that amazing?

Alonzo Bodden 10:50 They haven't done it yet, but who knows?

Joe Rogan 10:54 They had some movies where people pretend they're in the clouds, and they pretend they're-

Alonzo Bodden 10:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:57 (laughs) Th- They pretend they're... That, that, you know, they're gods. There's been some god movies, right?

Alonzo Bodden 11:02 Right. Well, the fir-

Joe Rogan 11:03 Wasn't there, like, a Brad Pitt one?

Alonzo Bodden 11:05 Wasn't... Was there?

Joe Rogan 11:06 Wasn't there a Brad Pitt one-

Alonzo Bodden 11:07 Did Brad Pitt do a movie?

Joe Rogan 11:07 ... where they were the gods? Like Achilles or something like that? Wasn't there something? Am I imagining this? I bel- I believe there was a movie where a bunch of people-

Alonzo Bodden 11:17 I-

Narrator 11:17 Troy. Troy.

Alonzo Bodden 11:18 Yeah, Troy.

Joe Rogan 11:19 Was that-

Alonzo Bodden 11:19 And then they had those, um... What were they called? Titans or something. There was, like, some... They did a couple of movies where these guys were, where they were gods. I think Liam Neeson was in it, and they were, like, playing with humans.

Joe Rogan 11:31 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 11:31 Humans were like their entertainment.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Narrator 11:36 I feel like Clash of the Titans also.

Alonzo Bodden 11:37 Titans, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:38 Maybe it was that. Clash of the Titans was, uh... They did a couple of those, right? They did one-

Alonzo Bodden 11:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:43 The one that's from, uh, you know, like, way, way back in the day is hilarious to watch now.

Alonzo Bodden 11:48 Oh, anything with special effects from back in the day. Except, you know... You know what still holds up though? Godzilla.

Joe Rogan 11:55 It does. It's kinda fun, right?

Alonzo Bodden 11:56 Like, the, the old Godzilla movies, like, Godzilla was... Like, he's still badass, you know? (laughs) There was just something about Godzilla that it was... That... Yeah, he holds up. His old movies are good.... and the new Godzilla's good.

Joe Rogan 12:10 Well, they figured out how to make those Godzilla movies, like, w- when we were doing stop-motion animation, they were like, "Hmm, why don't you just have a dude in a Godzilla suit?" A- and then they just-

Alonzo Bodden 12:21 And then make everything else smaller.

Joe Rogan 12:22 Yeah. They just had, like, a little New York-

Alonzo Bodden 12:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:24 ... or a little Tokyo and this dude in a Godzilla suit running around. It's actually, for the time, like, really good special effects.

Alonzo Bodden 12:31 Oh, yeah. Yeah, th- yeah. Godzilla movies were great. Like, the... And he fought l- and they, they would just come up with all these different monsters-

Joe Rogan 12:38 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 12:38 ... for him to fight. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:40 Yes, Mothra.

Alonzo Bodden 12:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:42 And fl- giant moths and shit.

Alonzo Bodden 12:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:44 Gamera. Remember Gamera?

Alonzo Bodden 12:45 Gamera.

Joe Rogan 12:46 Ugh.

Alonzo Bodden 12:46 That was the one that spun around. That was like-

Joe Rogan 12:47 Yeah, like a turtle. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 12:48 ... the turtle that spun around. Yeah, a spinning turtle that shot rays out of his legs.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Oh, yeah. Those were so weird.

Alonzo Bodden 12:54 Man, you know what those were? Those were good drugs, Joe.

Joe Rogan 12:56 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 12:56 You can't get those drugs now where you just sit around and say, "Man, what if we had a spinning turtle?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:02 D- when... Those things would be on, like, Saturday afternoon, right?

Alonzo Bodden 13:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:05 You'd have to get up-

Alonzo Bodden 13:05 Every week.

Joe Rogan 13:06 ... and watch 'em on Saturday.

Alonzo Bodden 13:06 Every week, they would p- what was... It was, like, Destroy All Monsters. It was-

Joe Rogan 13:10 Yes. There it is. Look at him.

Alonzo Bodden 13:10 ... some kind of monster thing. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:13 Oh, this... Is this the old one?

Narrator 13:15 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 13:16 Wow.

Narrator 13:16 1973, it said.

Alonzo Bodden 13:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:18 Wow, that looks great. Uh.

Alonzo Bodden 13:20 Yeah.

Narrator 13:21 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 13:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:21 Look at him. Those special effects. Actually pretty fucking good special effects.

Alonzo Bodden 13:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:27 Especially, I mean, if you wanted to see a movie today that was like that, you'd be mad. Like, you can't believe how-

Alonzo Bodden 13:32 Right.

Joe Rogan 13:32 ... fake they made it look. But back then, this was awesome. Look at that-

Alonzo Bodden 13:36 What I don't like-

Joe Rogan 13:37 ... blowing up those buildings.

Alonzo Bodden 13:38 That's, like-

Joe Rogan 13:38 Why you laughing, Jamie?

Narrator 13:39 It's the... It's, uh, like, their miniatures and silly like that, but it zooms in on his face, and it k- it just, I don't look sick.

Joe Rogan 13:45 It looks awesome. Look at that.

Alonzo Bodden 13:47 It's like looking at the first Star Wars now.

Joe Rogan 13:49 (laughs)

Narrator 13:50 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 13:50 Like, when you look at the first Star Wars now-

Narrator 13:52 I know.

Alonzo Bodden 13:52 ... you're like, "Oh, come on." But back then, it was like, "Man, this is badass."

Joe Rogan 13:55 I know. It's terrible.

Alonzo Bodden 13:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:57 The first Star Wars is terrible.

Alonzo Bodden 13:59 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:59 Like, the, the special effects, at least.

Alonzo Bodden 14:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:01 It just looks so fake. Like, even the cantina scene, where they went in there and all the monsters-

Alonzo Bodden 14:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:07 You could s- you could tell-

Alonzo Bodden 14:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:07 ... that the guy's wearing a mask just like his, "Ah."

Alonzo Bodden 14:09 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:10 Like, his face is frozen open. Yeah, man, they did what they could back then.

Alonzo Bodden 14:15 Yeah. They... I mean, it's technology, right?

Joe Rogan 14:18 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 14:18 That, like-

Joe Rogan 14:19 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 14:19 ... the other day, they were doing all the Jurassic Park movies, and we were talking about when the first Jurassic Park, like, when the first dinosaur came out, that was badass. Like, it was like, "Wow, that looks like a dinosaur," l- you know?

Joe Rogan 14:34 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 14:34 And then... And they had, like, expressions-

Joe Rogan 14:37 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 14:37 ... and all of that, you know? That, that was... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:40 The first Jurassic Park, when those kids were in that truck-

Alonzo Bodden 14:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:43 ... and the d- the T-Rex comes over the top.

Alonzo Bodden 14:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:46 Holy shit, was that awesome.

Alonzo Bodden 14:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:47 That's one of the greatest scenes in any movie-

Alonzo Bodden 14:48 Yeah, when he's-

Joe Rogan 14:49 ... I've ever seen, ever.

Alonzo Bodden 14:49 ... when he looks in the truck and he blinks.

Joe Rogan 14:51 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 14:52 You know?

Joe Rogan 14:52 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 14:52 That was... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:54 Well, when i- when they realize that the goat is missing, that they had that goat tied up-

Alonzo Bodden 14:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:58 ... and they realize the goat is missing, and then th- they hear the, "Doom." You hear that? "Doom."

Alonzo Bodden 15:04 Although... And, you know, I hate to be this guy, but, but we do it at, like... You ever watch movies and just, like, you, you pull out the holes in the logic?

Joe Rogan 15:12 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 15:13 This.

Joe Rogan 15:13 What's the holes in the logic?

Alonzo Bodden 15:14 The two kids would not be with the lawyer.

Joe Rogan 15:18 Yeah. True.

Alonzo Bodden 15:18 One... The, the, the little boy loved dinosaurs, and he knew who, uh, the dinosaur scientist was. He'd have been in that van.

Joe Rogan 15:27 True.

Alonzo Bodden 15:28 He would... No way the two kids would've been with the lawyer. At least one of 'em would've been with a scientist.

Joe Rogan 15:33 Yeah, for sure. Were there parents in that movie?

Alonzo Bodden 15:36 No, they were with their grandfather.

Joe Rogan 15:38 And was their grandfather the main scientist dude?

Alonzo Bodden 15:40 Yeah. No, the grandfather was the old guy who owned-

Joe Rogan 15:43 The park.

Alonzo Bodden 15:43 ... Jurassic Park, right?

Joe Rogan 15:44 Right, the old guy that looked like Colonel Sanders.

Alonzo Bodden 15:46 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 15:46 Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 15:48 So, it's like, if your grandfather created this park and he hired this scientist, you're like, "I'm hanging out with the scientist," even though he didn't-

Joe Rogan 15:55 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 15:55 ... like kids. It'd be like, "My grandfather said that I can ride with you." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:00 (laughs) And Jeff Goldblum was the sexy scientist.

Alonzo Bodden 16:02 Yeah. Goldblum was great in all of 'em, though.

Joe Rogan 16:05 He was amazing.

Alonzo Bodden 16:05 He, he was just that great character that, you know...

Joe Rogan 16:08 Yeah, you bought it.

Alonzo Bodden 16:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:09 Especially the first one.

Alonzo Bodden 16:10 Yeah. I l- I love that, "Drive faster."

Joe Rogan 16:13 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 16:13 No, "Must drive faster." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:15 Yeah. The first one when... Yeah, he had some great points-

Alonzo Bodden 16:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:21 ... you know, about why'd you do this. It was just like he... You bought him. You-

Alonzo Bodden 16:25 Right, you bought his science.

Joe Rogan 16:27 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 16:27 His science made sense.

Joe Rogan 16:28 Well, he's s- you could tell he's fucking smart as shit.

Alonzo Bodden 16:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:32 You know? So, like, when he's playing a guy who's smart as shit, you're like, "All right."

Alonzo Bodden 16:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:35 "I buy it."

Alonzo Bodden 16:37 Although, that is one situation. When a T-Rex is chasing you, that's one of those situations where I don't have to be faster than a T-Rex. I just gotta be faster than you. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:46 That's not true 'cause a T-Rex would eat you so quick.

Alonzo Bodden 16:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:49 Yeah, there's the... The goat leg falls down.

Alonzo Bodden 16:51 Yeah.

Narrator 16:52 They're only on... The dinosaurs only have a total of 14 minutes of screen time in this movie.

Joe Rogan 16:56 Perfect.

Narrator 16:57 It's like 120 something-

Alonzo Bodden 16:58 That was enough.

Joe Rogan 16:58 Well, that's like in American Werewolf in London. One of the reasons why that movie's so good is you barely see the werewolf.

Alonzo Bodden 17:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:04 And when, when you do see it, it's amazing, but you barely see it.

Alonzo Bodden 17:06 But you're aware of it.

Joe Rogan 17:07 You see it from flashes. You're terrified of it. I had, uh, Rick Baker in here. He's the guy who did American Werewolf in London.

Alonzo Bodden 17:13 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:13 He actually did Star Wars too, and he's, uh, saying that that cantina scene, that cantina scene they did, they, they threw that together on, like, a shoestring budget.

Alonzo Bodden 17:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:19 He just put a bunch of masks he had laying around his studio and put 'em on people and dressed people up and shit. But they, um, when he did an American Werewolf in London, like, they... This was like, uh, like, like, like, a crazy operation where they had hands. They had fake hands that stretched out. They had, like... They would put, like, stop-motion of, like, skin where hair-

Alonzo Bodden 17:41 Yes, 'cause the face-

Joe Rogan 17:42 ... is coming through the skin.

Alonzo Bodden 17:42 ... the face would extend.

Joe Rogan 17:44 Yeah, it was-

Alonzo Bodden 17:44 There was that scene where his, like, his jaw and-

Joe Rogan 17:46 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 17:47 ... would... Yeah, you... I guess they had to do that each by piece.

Joe Rogan 17:49 I forget how he said they did the hair. I forget how he said they did the hair. Did they do it in reverse? They pull it through or something?

Narrator 17:57 Yeah, 'cause there's only, like, that one quick scene where you see it, right? I think that was the one scene he said it went through.

Joe Rogan 18:01 I forget. He explained how they did the hair where the hair was coming out of his skin and his back and shit. I think it took a long-ass time, though.

Alonzo Bodden 18:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:09 But you, you only see... The whole transition is pretty quick, and then you only see the werewolf for, like, split seconds. You don't-

Alonzo Bodden 18:16 That-

Joe Rogan 18:16 ... see it very often.

Alonzo Bodden 18:17 That's great 'cause you know when they're doing it-They're like, "We don't know how... Like, in our mind-"

Joe Rogan 18:23 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 18:23 "... we see it, but we don't know how this is gonna work." And then you have to... Like you were talking about the, the artist who did it, he has to make that happen. So the director's like, "This is what I want." And then you have to figure out how to make that happen-

Joe Rogan 18:38 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 18:38 ... so that when he sees it on film, he's like, "Yeah." But when you na- if you nail it, then it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 18:45 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 18:45 But if you do it wrong, then it's like, "Oh, man, look at this cheesy..." Or you gotta do it over again.

Joe Rogan 18:49 But there's something about things you on- only see in the dark that are... It makes it better than, like, seeing it, like, CGI. Obviously CGI really bright, like, that doesn't scare you. Like Alien, the movie Alien-

Alonzo Bodden 19:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:01 ... scared the fuck out of you.

Alonzo Bodden 19:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:02 You barely saw it. You b- like, most of the movie-

Alonzo Bodden 19:05 Because it's your imagination.

Joe Rogan 19:06 ... you barely saw it. Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 19:06 And, and you're the... And that's the thing, with the script and everything else, the anticipation of it, or the awareness of it, but where is it?

Joe Rogan 19:14 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 19:15 Versus a slasher movie where it's just... I'm just coming through and chopping up people and-

Joe Rogan 19:20 Or versus, like, the-

Alonzo Bodden 19:21 ... a bunch of blood.

Joe Rogan 19:21 ... new Godzilla, which although it might be fun, it's like it's so clearly CGI. You don't have, like, a visceral react... Like, if you see a werewolf in an alleyway, if a guy drops his briefcase and looks up and he sees a werewolf in the alleyway for, like, a s- split second just... You're like-

Alonzo Bodden 19:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:37 ... "Jesus!"

Alonzo Bodden 19:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:38 And then it's over. Like, there's a scene in American Werewolf in London where you literally see the werewolf for fractions of a second. It's one of the best scenes in the movie, where there's a guy in the subway, this businessman, and he sees it, and you look at it... You're looking at it like the werewolf.

Alonzo Bodden 19:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:54 He's, he's like, "Oh my God." And he starts running-

Alonzo Bodden 19:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:57 ... and you see this guy running away and he's freaking the fuck out and he can't... He's almost having a heart attack. And he gets on the escalator, and he drops his briefcase and, and he looks down, and just for a split second you see the werewolf's body move into frame, and then it shuts off, and that's the whole scene. It's one of the best scenes in the movie.

Alonzo Bodden 20:12 Yeah, it's scary.

Joe Rogan 20:13 It's one of the best scenes in the movie. It's... Everything's dark and mysterious. It's when you, when you get real clear and it's obviously CGI, it doesn't scare you.

Alonzo Bodden 20:21 Right. We're also so jaded.

Joe Rogan 20:24 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 20:24 You know, now. We're so jaded now that it, it's like after this, how many movies are there gonna be about us? Quarantine, something happened in the quarantine-

Joe Rogan 20:34 Oh, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 20:35 ... this or that, you know, and it's... Yeah, it's, uh... It takes more to scare people now.

Joe Rogan 20:41 It's ki-

Alonzo Bodden 20:41 You gotta, you gotta be creative.

Joe Rogan 20:42 It's a kinda... It's a transitionary point for us. And it's kinda interesting that the thing that caught on the quickest when it all went down was Tiger King.

Alonzo Bodden 20:51 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:52 The, that everybody was like... (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 20:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:54 "This is, this is the perfect show for a fucked up quarantined world."

Alonzo Bodden 20:58 So I have two, I have two theories about Tiger King. It's like, either you watch Tiger King and you feel better about yourself, you're just like, "Man, this guy is fucked up. I'm not..." You know, "Thank God."

Joe Rogan 21:09 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 21:09 Or you're watching Tiger King and you're like, "Yeah, that's about where we at." (laughs) "That's, that's a... Well, you- "That's about where we are." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:16 You kind of don't totally hate him. Like, you don't totally hate Joe Exotic, even-

Alonzo Bodden 21:21 You get it. I get it.

Joe Rogan 21:22 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 21:22 You know, you, you... I mean, what he did, like, he was, he was P.T. Barnum.

Joe Rogan 21:28 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 21:29 He was P.T. Bar- Like, he could've been P.T. Barnum if he, if he could've grown his idea. But, but that, that idea of just, "I'm just gonna keep bullshitting people and just reinventing myself and showing them this and sh-..." And, and people went for it.

Joe Rogan 21:45 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 21:46 You know?

Joe Rogan 21:47 He just wants attention so bad.

Alonzo Bodden 21:48 Yeah. That... But that whole thing, yeah, definitely a phenomenon. I would, I would love to see, like, what people... 'Cause it was worldwide. What people in other countries, I would like to get their opinion-

Joe Rogan 22:01 Of us.

Alonzo Bodden 22:02 ... of Tiger K- 'Cause they've never seen... You know, a lot of countries, they've never seen anything like that. You know what I mean? Like, in the United States, like especially if you've traveled the Midwest or, or if you've been to one of those... You ever go to, like, the low-budget circuses? You know, the... Not the, not the big ones, but the ones that, like, set up in a-

Joe Rogan 22:18 As, as in carnivals.

Alonzo Bodden 22:19 ... carnival lot?

Joe Rogan 22:19 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 22:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:20 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 22:20 Like, we've seen that. But people who have no idea of that-

Joe Rogan 22:25 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 22:25 (laughs) Be... I w- I wonder what their opinion would be.

Joe Rogan 22:28 There was one that was near my house, and I, I took a picture of one of the, uh, one of the roller coaster rides they had set up-

Alonzo Bodden 22:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:34 ... and it put it on my Instagram page, 'cause it was this janky-ass, fucked up roller coaster that was on stacks of two by fours.

Alonzo Bodden 22:41 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:42 Stacks.

Alonzo Bodden 22:42 (laughs) Right. Well, they-

Joe Rogan 22:43 And I was like, "What in... Who the fuck-"

Alonzo Bodden 22:46 The guy op- Well, the guy operating it, like, he built it. (laughs) You know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 22:50 Right, but w- I'm here with my friends and everybody's got their k- Look at that. Look at that shit.

Alonzo Bodden 22:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:54 Look at those stacks.

Alonzo Bodden 22:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:55 That's to level it off.

Alonzo Bodden 22:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:57 So that thing spins around in a circle while it's on these movable stacks of wood.

Alonzo Bodden 23:03 Yeah. That's-

Joe Rogan 23:04 Like, God forbid a fucking earthquake hits or something, that thing's gonna go flipping sideways and flying off. I mean, the fact they let them do that in a park, that is crazy.

Narrator 23:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:13 Look at that.

Alonzo Bodden 23:14 And you just take your kid and you just throw him on there.

Joe Rogan 23:17 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 23:17 Like, "Go ahead, kid. Have fun."

Joe Rogan 23:19 "Go ahead, kid. You'll be fine."

Alonzo Bodden 23:19 What could go wrong?

Joe Rogan 23:20 Nothing.

Alonzo Bodden 23:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:21 Yeah, I mean, it's... Nothing's going wrong right now. And look at that one, that one's over. They did it. They did the ride. "Come on, get on."

Alonzo Bodden 23:27 Yeah. Yeah, and then you... Well, you know, it's like people were going there to the Tiger King thing and like, "Yeah, I want my picture taken with a tiger."

Joe Rogan 23:34 You know what's also interesting?

Alonzo Bodden 23:35 "I trust you."

Joe Rogan 23:36 How quickly people got tired of Tiger King.

Alonzo Bodden 23:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:39 Like right now even that we're talking about it, people are probably like, "Still?"

Alonzo Bodden 23:42 Yeah. No, it, it-

Joe Rogan 23:43 Like, in and out, like that. (snaps fingers)

Alonzo Bodden 23:44 But that's, that's about how something goes, you know?

Joe Rogan 23:48 Yeah, right.

Alonzo Bodden 23:48 And, and the, the thing about it is when they were doing it, even when Netflix threw it out there... 'Cause I saw it, like, the first weekend 'cause I... In my news feed it came up and I was like, "What the hell is this?" And I started... Five minutes into it, I'm like, "I gotta see this," right? So I just watched the whole thing, but now they, they had no idea it was gonna be that big a hit, and now they're like, "Okay, what next?" You know what I mean? Like, it's one of those things, you couldn't predict Tiger King would be a hit.

Joe Rogan 24:16 Oh, yeah, no way.

Alonzo Bodden 24:17 So, so-

Joe Rogan 24:17 You'd think it'd be weird.

Alonzo Bodden 24:19 The marketing or, or whatever people are like-What else, w- what can you do? Tho- those are the ones, you can't create that.

Joe Rogan 24:26 No. They called it lightning in a bottle.

Alonzo Bodden 24:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:27 It was the perfect time 'cause it was l- they just happened to be there with the bottle right when the pandemic hit, and it was like, "What?" And then people would just send texts to their friends, "You gotta fucking watch this."

Alonzo Bodden 24:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:37 'Cause everybody's at home looking for shit to watch.

Alonzo Bodden 24:38 Right, everybody's at home.

Joe Rogan 24:39 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 24:39 And, and it was like it wasn't a series, it wasn't part of something else. It was like, it stood alone as absolute insanity. And it, and fascinating.

Joe Rogan 24:49 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 24:50 You know?

Joe Rogan 24:51 And it wasn't like a big marketing push.

Alonzo Bodden 24:53 No. Didn't have to.

Joe Rogan 24:54 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 24:54 Didn't have to. Because, again, once you, once you watched it, I mean, it, you know, the guy with no legs was the most reasonable guy-

Joe Rogan 25:03 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 25:03 ... on the show. Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:04 The most reasonable by far. He made the most sense. He seemed like a regular guy.

Alonzo Bodden 25:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:09 Like that poor guy.

Alonzo Bodden 25:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:10 Caught up in the middle of all that shit.

Alonzo Bodden 25:12 Right. Whereas in any other circumstance, you'd be like, "How'd you lose your legs?" On that show, didn't even come up. Like, "No, we're good. You're fine." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:20 When the one dude who's sitting there, the guy that wants to, uh, be the campaign manager, he's sitting there talking to Exotic Joe's boyfriend when Exotic Joe-

Alonzo Bodden 25:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:28 ... boyfriend blows his brains out.

Alonzo Bodden 25:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:29 And you're like, "What in the fuck is this?"

Alonzo Bodden 25:32 Yep.

Joe Rogan 25:32 You see the guy react like, "Oh my God," like in the moment.

Alonzo Bodden 25:36 That'd be like you and me talking and one of us is playing with a gun...

Joe Rogan 25:40 And just shoots ourselves in the head.

Alonzo Bodden 25:41 ... and then just blows us up and blows your brains out. It's...

Joe Rogan 25:43 God damn.

Alonzo Bodden 25:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:45 God damn, people are crazy.

Alonzo Bodden 25:47 But, but again, what else are you gonna do? So, so Tiger King killed some time, and then the aftermath of Tiger King killed some more time, but then we still got like six more weeks, so what do we do now?

Joe Rogan 26:00 I think we're supposed to be May 15th, right? May 15th's gonna end...

Alonzo Bodden 26:03 That's the l- yeah, I think that's the latest projected date.

Joe Rogan 26:06 But the governor just stopped people from going to parks and beaches.

Alonzo Bodden 26:11 Well...

Joe Rogan 26:11 That was a new, uh, thing today.

Alonzo Bodden 26:13 Yeah, I think, you know, you know what it is? This is my theory on it, like y- we can't have nice things, you know? Whenever they give us something nice, we don't not... You know, like a little kid getting something nice-

Joe Rogan 26:23 Fuck it up.

Alonzo Bodden 26:23 ... and they break it. So it's like, "Okay, we're gonna let you go to the beach." It's like, no, you're not supposed to be l- playing volleyball and laying... Like, like just you're supposed to keep moving, right? You're supposed to like walk or ride a bike, or-

Joe Rogan 26:34 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 26:34 ... go surf or this or that. But you weren't supposed to just...

Joe Rogan 26:36 Mingle.

Alonzo Bodden 26:37 ... gather in groups.

Joe Rogan 26:38 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 26:38 And of course we're gathered in groups, we're partying, they're like, "All right, no, you can't..." You don't know how to behave.

Joe Rogan 26:43 Yeah, they had specific rules, like you weren't allowed to stay put. Like you couldn't lean on things, couldn't sit down.

Alonzo Bodden 26:49 Right, 'cause, 'cause-

Joe Rogan 26:49 But you could go walk around.

Alonzo Bodden 26:51 I was riding...

Joe Rogan 26:52 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 26:52 I rode, I rode my motorcycle along PCH and you would see people, they'd park their car along PCH, right? And they'd sit on the car and kinda like look at the beach and stuff like that. And so I guess you, each one of them had a car's distance between them 'cause y- you're sitting on your car, the next person's sitting on their car.

Joe Rogan 27:12 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 27:13 But then I passed this, um, Neptune's Net, which is like a big motorcycle hangout, and there were maybe 20 bikes in a row, parked, and the guys were all just kinda hanging out. And it was like, "No, man, like that, you can't do that." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 27:29 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 27:30 Like, like a motorcycle's the ultimate social distancing vehicle, right? You're, you're by yourself, you're wearing a jacket, gloves, a helmet, you're not breathing on anybody.

Joe Rogan 27:38 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 27:38 But when you stop, you can't just all hang out (laughs) like normal, you know?

Joe Rogan 27:43 Right, right.

Alonzo Bodden 27:43 And that, that was the part that, uh, that I think that that's where they're like, "No, we're not gonna do it." 'Cause I think, you know, eh, eh, this Georgia, and Florida, whatever, it's like they're like the experiment, man. They're like, "All right, yeah, let's let them get out and then let's wait two weeks and see what happens."

Joe Rogan 28:00 Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly.

Alonzo Bodden 28:01 You know?

Joe Rogan 28:01 That's exactly what it's like. It's, um, it's a weird disease, man. You know, I was just having a conversation about it earlier today. It's like it, it seems like it's more than one different thing. It seems like, uh, for some people, it's nothing, they shake it off. Some people, even a lot of people, more than half apparently, asymptomatic.

Alonzo Bodden 28:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:21 They don't feel it at all.

Alonzo Bodden 28:22 And that's the scariest part, right? 'Cause you're asymptomatic and you're carrying it...

Joe Rogan 28:26 And then for some people it's a death sentence.

Alonzo Bodden 28:28 And then, and it, and I was... Most recently I was reading about strokes.

Joe Rogan 28:32 Yes, and heart attacks.

Alonzo Bodden 28:32 About people having strokes, like they, it's causing blood clots and...

Joe Rogan 28:36 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 28:36 And this was something that they just realized, like, "Whoa," you know?

Joe Rogan 28:40 One doctor was apparently operating on this one guy who was a fairly young guy who had a stroke, and he said you could see on the machine...

Alonzo Bodden 28:46 I read that.

Joe Rogan 28:47 Yeah, that new, new clots were forming in real time.

Alonzo Bodden 28:50 You could see clots forming while he's doing it.

Joe Rogan 28:51 Which is like, this is crazy.

Alonzo Bodden 28:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:53 Yeah. It's a-

Alonzo Bodden 28:53 And-

Joe Rogan 28:54 ... fucking creepy disease.

Alonzo Bodden 28:55 And you know what? And we were talking about this earlier, that's the doctor I wanna listen to.

Joe Rogan 29:00 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 29:00 You know what I mean? Like, like, yeah, give me a guy who's so smart that he's working on blood clots and watching them form and explaining. Because the ad- part of the problem, the advice we get, there's so many... It's such a wide range.

Joe Rogan 29:15 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 29:15 And, and like, so if you're talking to me, I wanna see doctor in front of your name (laughs) and, and I wanna know you do so like, like, "Oh, I work on the brains of people who have strokes." Like, yeah, tell me more.

Joe Rogan 29:27 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 29:27 You know what you're talking about (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 29:27 Don't say doctor if you're a chiropractor either. You gotta stop doing that. Stop.

Alonzo Bodden 29:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:32 You're a chiropractor, that's great. People like going to the chiropractor, that's great. You're not a doctor. You gotta stop saying you're a doctor.

Alonzo Bodden 29:37 I, I have a friend, he's an emergency room doctor, um, and like I'll listen to him. Like I'm-

Joe Rogan 29:43 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 29:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:44 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 29:44 Okay, you tell me-

Joe Rogan 29:45 You're a neurologist...

Alonzo Bodden 29:46 You tell me what's going on because...

Joe Rogan 29:49 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 29:49 'Cause he knows 'cause he's getting all kinda information and he's on the fr- literally on the front line in this.

Joe Rogan 29:55 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 29:55 And he was funny. He said, "Man, they better not send me anyone who shot up bleach." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:01 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 30:02 He was like, "Don't even waste my time." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:05 Someone must have-

Alonzo Bodden 30:06 It was just funny the way he said it 'cause, 'cause he really is that guy. He's like the I'll save lives, like he's a doctor, he cares and this and that.

Joe Rogan 30:14 Right. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 30:14 But on this one he's like, "Man, you better... Just don't even waste my time." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:19 When you heard about that, you had to think this has gotta be like a fucking movie. This has gotta... This is almost like a movie.

Alonzo Bodden 30:25 It- it's... If it, if it wasn't real...... it would be hilarious, you know?

Joe Rogan 30:30 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 30:30 And then the other thing is that the fact that like Lysol had to put out a thing like, "Not for int- internal use."

Joe Rogan 30:38 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 30:38 Like, the, the idea that, that they know there are people so dumb that they're like, "We better tell them not to do this," right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:44 There's gotta be a few that thought about it. There has to be a few that thought about it.

Alonzo Bodden 30:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:48 There was a thing that I tweeted, I, I, I pulled it down when someone, uh, Tim Pool, one of my guests, told me it was fake. Um, they were saying that they'd got way more calls because of, uh, poisoning from Lysol and disinfectants after Trump said that. But apparently the real truth is there's way more people using that stuff around the house because they're scared and they're cleaning everything up, and they've been coming in for a long time. It's not like it happened-

Alonzo Bodden 31:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:13 ... right after Trump said that. It was actually happening right after the lockdown.

Alonzo Bodden 31:18 Yeah, what I read-

Joe Rogan 31:19 It's just exposure.

Alonzo Bodden 31:19 ... it wasn't more people doing it, but they were calling to see like, "Hey, what would happen if..."

Joe Rogan 31:25 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 31:25 You know, they were call- But, but this one is weird, and I was just reading about this.

Joe Rogan 31:30 Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 31:30 There has been an increase in kids drinking hand sanitizer.

Joe Rogan 31:34 Oh!

Alonzo Bodden 31:35 And they told the hand sanitizer people, "Stop making it smell good," because kids, you know, it's like this sweet-smelling-

Joe Rogan 31:44 Oh, God.

Alonzo Bodden 31:44 And my only question is where the hell are the kids getting it? 'Cause I can't find any. I can't (laughs) ... Where are you getting this hand sanitizer you're drinking? But they said, all kidding aside, they said because it's alcohol, it's like poisoning them.

Joe Rogan 31:58 Someone was saying that the-

Alonzo Bodden 31:59 But-

Joe Rogan 31:59 ... if you get hand san- Someone was saying they went to a supermarket and they got hand sanitizer and it smelled like tequila.

Alonzo Bodden 32:04 Yeah, it, it has a sweet smell to it, and they, they said-

Joe Rogan 32:07 But do you have like buckets of that stuff? Like, there, it's probably mostly just alcohol, right?

Alonzo Bodden 32:12 Yeah, it's, it's 70% alcohol.

Joe Rogan 32:14 One of my sponsors is making hand san- uh, Buffalo Trace Whiskey.

Alonzo Bodden 32:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:18 They're, they're, they're donating cases, cases of hand sanitizer to schools-

Alonzo Bodden 32:22 Yeah, 'cause they, they can easily switch over-

Joe Rogan 32:26 ... and first responders. Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 32:26 ... to make it, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:27 Yeah, yeah, real easy.

Alonzo Bodden 32:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:28 Real easy. Just, it's just alcohol that tastes like shit.

Alonzo Bodden 32:30 Right, but, but kids are-

Joe Rogan 32:31 But they know the process.

Alonzo Bodden 32:32 But kids are drinking it, and that's just a-

Joe Rogan 32:36 God damn it. Can't- watch your kids. Don't let them-

Alonzo Bodden 32:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:37 ... drink that shit. What the fuck?

Alonzo Bodden 32:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:39 I can't believe I'm saying this.

Alonzo Bodden 32:39 What's wrong, what's wrong with our kids? They, they're eating Tide PODS, now they're drinking hand sanitizer.

Joe Rogan 32:43 Come on, man, when we grew up-

Alonzo Bodden 32:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:45 ... when we were growing up, there's definitely kids we went to school with that if Tide PODS existed, they would've ate them.

Alonzo Bodden 32:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:51 That's just kids. Kids do dumb shit.

Alonzo Bodden 32:54 Yeah, you gotta, you gotta watch them.

Joe Rogan 32:55 They're always gonna do dumb shit.

Alonzo Bodden 32:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:56 That's part of being a kid. They don't know any better.

Alonzo Bodden 32:58 But now... But now it's like they do dumb shit, but it becomes a viral challenge.

Joe Rogan 33:03 (laughs) Exactly.

Alonzo Bodden 33:03 You know, that, that's the difference. Like, when we did it, like there was one neighborhood kid, you know? Well, let's, let's face it, Joe-

Joe Rogan 33:10 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 33:10 ... you had a television show based on that one neighborhood kid.

Joe Rogan 33:14 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 33:14 (laughs) You had a-

Joe Rogan 33:15 We have six of those neighborhood kids every week.

Alonzo Bodden 33:16 (laughs) You had a hit show based, based on the-

Joe Rogan 33:18 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 33:18 ... neighborhood kid who would, "Yeah, feed him this. What the hell?" So... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:21 Yeah, I have a PhD in those people.

Alonzo Bodden 33:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:24 I understand those folks. (laughs) Yeah, when we were growing up, there was always a kid that would eat worms, or... I read a story about a kid who ate a slug on a dare in, I think it was Australia, and he wound up being paralyzed.

Alonzo Bodden 33:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:35 He got some sort of a, a, a viral infection because of this snail that, uh, paralyzed him, then a couple, a couple years later, he died. See if you can find that.

Alonzo Bodden 33:44 Damn, that's too bad.

Joe Rogan 33:45 It's crazy, like... But kids need to know this. You can't just go eat a fucking slug.

Alonzo Bodden 33:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:49 Like, they're real bad for you.

Alonzo Bodden 33:51 Right, you can't... Yeah, you, you don't eat something dead.

Joe Rogan 33:54 Some wild-ass bug, some snail or something.

Narrator 33:58 I didn't even bring up this specific story. There's something called rat lungworm disease.

Joe Rogan 34:02 No, but f- bring up the specific story-

Narrator 34:04 You know?

Joe Rogan 34:04 ... because it's pretty crazy. A kid on a dare ate a slug.

Narrator 34:07 It says it's a man. It doesn't say kid.

Joe Rogan 34:08 Oh, this is a kid on a dare, it says, ah.

Narrator 34:11 On a dare, now paralyzed. This was in New York though, so this is probably-

Joe Rogan 34:14 (laughs) No, it probably did in New York.

Alonzo Bodden 34:15 (laughs) It's the second one.

Joe Rogan 34:16 It's probably more than one.

Alonzo Bodden 34:18 That's the, that's the one who read about it.

Narrator 34:19 Poop-eating slugs are infecting Hawaiians with brain parasites.

Joe Rogan 34:21 Oh, Jesus. Poop-eating?

Narrator 34:22 Yeah, a man did, he did go out-

Joe Rogan 34:23 Poop-eating slugs are giving you brain parasites?

Narrator 34:26 Yeah, he's from Australia.

Joe Rogan 34:27 Jesus-fucking Christ. There it is. "Australian man who dared to swallow a slug has died after rare eight-year illness." I think he was a man when he died.

Alonzo Bodden 34:36 Damn.

Joe Rogan 34:36 But I think he was a kid when he pulled it off on a dare in 2010. Jesus Christ, yeah, he ate a slug. Yeah, I think he was a kid at the time.

Alonzo Bodden 34:45 That looks like a kid.

Joe Rogan 34:48 Ugh. He was in a coma for 420 days. He emerged from the ordeal with significant brain injuries, but continued to live for another eight years. Holy fuck. He consumed a garden creature on a dare in 2010. My God.

Alonzo Bodden 35:03 Rat lungworm.

Joe Rogan 35:03 Contracted en- encephalitis. Rat lungworm.

Narrator 35:07 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:08 An infection usually found in rodents that can also be transmitted to snails and slugs if they eat rat feces containing the parasite's larva. Ugh!

Alonzo Bodden 35:18 See, this is how... Again, this is how we get these crazy diseases for which we have no im- immune system defense. Like, because you're not supposed to be eating slugs-

Joe Rogan 35:31 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 35:31 ... that eat rat feces, you know?

Joe Rogan 35:33 Yeah, that's nature trying to say like, "What is wrong with this one?"

Alonzo Bodden 35:36 Right, just-

Joe Rogan 35:36 "Why is he eating slugs?"

Alonzo Bodden 35:37 Don't... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:39 Yeah. Yeah, there's things that gross you out for a reason. They seem like, "Ew!" But like roaches or rats, they carry b- they carry diseases. You see them, you're like, "Ah."

Alonzo Bodden 35:47 I was, uh-

Joe Rogan 35:47 It's instinctive.

Alonzo Bodden 35:48 I don't know if this is true. I was in Jamaica, we were do- on some tour, and the guy said that if, if you, uh, like got lost or whatever you're on, he said, "Humans can eat what goats eat." He said, "Watch the goats."

Joe Rogan 36:02 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 36:02 "And if a goat eats it, a human can eat..." Like, if, you know, you're in the, the jungle and it's just, "Can I eat that plant?" And I was like, "All right, that sounds..." I don't know if that's true, but it sounded like good advice.

Joe Rogan 36:13 It sounds great, but I think goats can eat anything. Don't they eat like cans?

Alonzo Bodden 36:17 They show them, but they don't, they don't actually eat them.

Joe Rogan 36:19 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 36:19 I think that's, uh, I think that's a, a myth.

Joe Rogan 36:22 Just a myth?... but- Find out if it's true that humans can eat air. If that's true, that'd be amazing. Just bring goats with you, whatever they eat-

Alonzo Bodden 36:28 Right, just-

Joe Rogan 36:28 ... you're good.

Alonzo Bodden 36:29 Yeah. Which, which means get a goat now, 'cause I don't know which way society's going.

Joe Rogan 36:33 Oh, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 36:33 So... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:33 You need a goat now because you wanna raise it.

Alonzo Bodden 36:35 So, now's the time to get a goat, just in case-

Joe Rogan 36:38 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 36:38 ... shit goes wrong. You're like, "What are you doing?" "I'm following my goat."

Joe Rogan 36:42 You don't want a fully grown adult goat either.

Alonzo Bodden 36:44 No, you want a-

Joe Rogan 36:44 You want a baby goat-

Alonzo Bodden 36:45 ... a baby goat.

Joe Rogan 36:46 ... a kid.

Alonzo Bodden 36:47 Well, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:47 So, they actually are kids.

Alonzo Bodden 36:48 Literally a kid.

Narrator 36:48 It says they, uh, they get a bad rap for eating tin cans. They're actually chewing on the metal to get the label and the glue on the label. They're not actually eating the metal.

Joe Rogan 36:59 What the fuck?

Alonzo Bodden 37:00 All right.

Narrator 37:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:00 Okay.

Alonzo Bodden 37:01 So, they're getting high on glue?

Joe Rogan 37:02 They're into glue and paper.

Alonzo Bodden 37:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:03 So, we can eat glue and paper.

Alonzo Bodden 37:05 They're, they're up in... Right.

Joe Rogan 37:06 Is that, is that what that means?

Alonzo Bodden 37:06 So, can we eat what goats eat? Can human-

Narrator 37:08 I was li- I was hoping that was gonna stay in the article.

Joe Rogan 37:09 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 37:09 Can humans eat what goats eat?

Joe Rogan 37:11 I feel like if you get a baby goat, he'll know you're cool. Y- you bring in some... You know, you treat him well from the time they're a baby, like a dog. Like, you, if you have a, a, a dog and you've had him since he's a puppy, he knows you're cool. Like, all-

Alonzo Bodden 37:23 Yeah. Tha-

Joe Rogan 37:23 ... all his life, you've been cool.

Alonzo Bodden 37:24 But that's also like that Tiger King thing, right? Like, you raise a tiger from when it's a, a baby-

Joe Rogan 37:30 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 37:30 ... but then one day, it just realizes, like, "I'm a tiger. You look delicious." Like, y- you know what I mean? Like, you could never-

Joe Rogan 37:37 Yeah, but it's just a goat.

Alonzo Bodden 37:38 ... you could-

Joe Rogan 37:38 Alonzo, you're a huge dude. You could fuck a goat up.

Alonzo Bodden 37:41 I, I would think so.

Joe Rogan 37:42 You would fuck a goat up.

Alonzo Bodden 37:43 Yeah, I think I could take a goat-

Joe Rogan 37:43 You grab a hold of those horns. Like, "Where you going, bitch?"

Alonzo Bodden 37:45 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think I could take a goat.

Joe Rogan 37:46 You could snap that thing's neck like a Steven Seagal movie.

Alonzo Bodden 37:49 Not one of those big... Not one of them big mountain goats that rams you with the horns, though.

Joe Rogan 37:53 Those can get, like, 300 pounds.

Alonzo Bodden 37:54 Yeah, th- you don't want one of them.

Joe Rogan 37:56 Yeah. What about... Maybe it's a-

Alonzo Bodden 37:57 You, you want a domestic goat.

Joe Rogan 37:59 What's the biggest... I wonder if I'm exaggerating. What's the biggest mountain goat? What's a, like a mountain goat or a... Yeah. With those white-haired ones, those enormous-

Alonzo Bodden 38:09 Right, with the horns.

Joe Rogan 38:10 ... white haired ones in Alaska and shit.

Alonzo Bodden 38:11 That can walk on, like, cliffs like-

Joe Rogan 38:13 Yes. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 38:13 ... they walk on the edge of the... You ever see that, where they walk-

Joe Rogan 38:16 Little tiny ledges.

Alonzo Bodden 38:17 ... and you're like, "Are you..." How do you live... And they live their whole life... Well, that's why.

Joe Rogan 38:20 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 38:20 'Cause they lived their whole life doing it. How big are, how big are those?

Narrator 38:25 Uh, it gives the scoring size for some reason.

Alonzo Bodden 38:29 (moos)

Joe Rogan 38:29 Oh, that must mean it's a hunting page.

Narrator 38:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:31 Did you ask how much they weigh?

Narrator 38:33 I just... The biggest one-

Joe Rogan 38:34 Just ask how much, how much a, the biggest... How much does a full-grown mountain goat weigh?

Narrator 38:40 Uh, adult females about 180. Males average 280.

Joe Rogan 38:45 Yeah, so-

Narrator 38:45 Prime, up to 300.

Joe Rogan 38:47 Yeah.

Narrator 38:47 The largest, 385.

Joe Rogan 38:48 385, and they're walking like a ballerina on the side of a cliff-

Alonzo Bodden 38:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:53 ... just dangling a little half inch-

Alonzo Bodden 38:55 Imagine getting rammed by a 385-pound goat.

Joe Rogan 38:58 Oh. Oh. Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 38:58 That's gotta be like getting hit by a car, like, just the-

Joe Rogan 39:02 Dude, look at the size of that fucker. Goddamn, they're huge. They look so cool.

Alonzo Bodden 39:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:07 It looks like a horse fucked a goat, doesn't it?

Narrator 39:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:10 Look, look at its face. It doesn't look like a goat.

Alonzo Bodden 39:13 Now, you know, you know what that's like? That's like getting hit by an NFL lineman, right?

Joe Rogan 39:17 Yeah, that-

Alonzo Bodden 39:18 That's like getting blindsided-

Joe Rogan 39:20 Maybe even more.

Alonzo Bodden 39:20 ... by an NFL lineman.

Joe Rogan 39:21 May- maybe they might even, even more power than that 'cause they're on four legs-

Alonzo Bodden 39:24 They're on four legs.

Joe Rogan 39:25 ... and they're animals.

Alonzo Bodden 39:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:26 And they're doing this all day long. You know, uh, there's a video of a ram, uh, slamming heads with a cow. The c- the ram starts walking towards these cows and this female cow gets pissed off and comes... Maybe a bull. I don't know if it's a bull or a female cow, but this cow comes forward. Watch this, watch this. Oh, it is a bull. So watch this. Is that a bull? Seems like it, right? Watch this. Boom.

Narrator 39:52 Oh.

Joe Rogan 39:52 You're out, bitch.

Narrator 39:53 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 39:54 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:54 So the goat, or the, the, the ram headbutts-

Alonzo Bodden 39:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:58 ... that cow. The cow's-

Alonzo Bodden 40:00 The bull.

Joe Rogan 40:00 Do that one more time. Is it a bull?

Narrator 40:02 It's...

Joe Rogan 40:02 It seems like a bull, doesn't it, Jimmy?

Alonzo Bodden 40:05 Mm-hmm. I think it had horns.

Joe Rogan 40:06 Let's see.

Narrator 40:07 It's got horns.

Joe Rogan 40:07 Yeah, it's got horns.

Alonzo Bodden 40:07 Yeah, it's got horns.

Joe Rogan 40:09 Yeah. Okay, so it is a bull. So that's why he's doing it too. Yeah, look at his balls too.

Narrator 40:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:13 You see his nuts, his huge balls. How could I not see those? But he gets K the fuck out. He's probably dead.

Narrator 40:19 I was gonna say, do you think it's dead 'cause of the skull?

Alonzo Bodden 40:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:21 One more time. Do one more time on this.

Narrator 40:22 The skull is the same strength.

Alonzo Bodden 40:22 Well, you know, if he lived-

Joe Rogan 40:25 Watch this. One more time.

Narrator 40:28 See, he just-

Joe Rogan 40:28 Just look at the ram. The ram's like, "Bitch, I'm not scared of you." Boom.

Alonzo Bodden 40:32 Yeah. So if he lived (laughs) ...

Joe Rogan 40:35 (laughs)

Narrator 40:35 ... like, that bull gets no respect for the rest of his life. Like, "Yeah, I saw your bitch ass get knocked out by a ram."

Joe Rogan 40:42 A ram that's-

Alonzo Bodden 40:42 You ain't... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:43 ... probably one-eighth your size.

Alonzo Bodden 40:45 You ain't scaring nobody.

Joe Rogan 40:47 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 40:47 You know?

Joe Rogan 40:48 They just know to, to do that move. I bet a cow... I bet a bull's never experienced something getting in between its horns and hitting it flat on the top of the head.

Alonzo Bodden 40:55 Well, it's never, or it's probably never experienced something stronger than it.

Joe Rogan 40:59 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 41:00 You know?

Joe Rogan 41:01 That seems like a scene in a movie, though.

Alonzo Bodden 41:02 I did, um-

Narrator 41:03 It doesn't seem right that a stick can just stop it. I mean, is this just the one that's stopping?

Joe Rogan 41:07 Well, that's a little one.

Alonzo Bodden 41:08 Yeah.

Narrator 41:09 Look how little that is.

Alonzo Bodden 41:09 And it's also probably a certain way it's getting hit.

Joe Rogan 41:14 Well, I think it hits objects, so that's what it is. It's dumb. So as he puts a stick in front of it, it headbutts the stick, which means that, like... Is it like, if you're punching something, right? And, uh, there's a guy behind this thing, but you're trying to punch this thing here and this thing moves. If you get to the guy behind it, you won't have any power. The power will be all in this one spot, and then if it misses, you just kinda, like-

Alonzo Bodden 41:36 Yeah. And also, the animal doesn't know-

Joe Rogan 41:38 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 41:38 ... like, this is something unusual to him.

Joe Rogan 41:40 Right. Why is someone holding a stick out?

Alonzo Bodden 41:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:42 So it just hits the stick with its head. That actually makes sense. That's a good move. Maybe like a, like a bull with a cape, right? They make the cape look way bigger than the person.

Alonzo Bodden 41:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:52 So the bull just goes towards the massive object, right?

Narrator 41:55 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 41:56 Yeah. I wa- I was in, uh, South Africa and, you know, we did this safari. It wasn't like the real safari 'cause we didn't have time, but they were like, "Yeah, by far the most dangerous animal is the hippo."

Joe Rogan 42:07 Oh, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 42:08 That's, that, that was the one. They... 'Cause when we went by the water, you saw the backs of the hippos and they were like, "Yeah, you don't want them to come out of there."

Joe Rogan 42:16 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 42:16 Like, 'cause-

Joe Rogan 42:17 Fuck that. Hippos are terrifying.

Alonzo Bodden 42:19 Yeah, and they're mean.

Joe Rogan 42:20 They're huge too.

Alonzo Bodden 42:21 They're, they're mean. They... It's like, basically it's like a tank-

Joe Rogan 42:25 And they're vegetarians, which is weird.

Alonzo Bodden 42:26 They're vegetarian, but if they feel a threat-

Joe Rogan 42:29 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 42:30 ... they grab you. They drag ... They drown you. They, they pull you under water, because they can hold their breath for like five or six minutes, or something like that.

Joe Rogan 42:38 (groans)

Alonzo Bodden 42:38 And they just hold you till you're dead, but-

Joe Rogan 42:40 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Alonzo Bodden 42:41 But they say, but they're like very territorial, very mean, and they're fast. I think they, they run like 20 miles an hour or something like that. Like, yeah, it's basically an armored living vehicle.

Joe Rogan 42:53 Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 42:53 I mean, a living thing that you-

Joe Rogan 42:55 There's a crazy video of a, a hippo chasing these people on a boat. Have you ever seen that one?

Alonzo Bodden 42:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:00 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 43:01 Or did you ever see like the lion that jumped on the hippo? And then the hippo just stood there, then the lion jumped off. He was basically like, "I can't fuck with this thing." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:09 Well, there was ... Yeah, there's one video where the lion's trying to eat the hippo, and it's biting into the hippo's back. And the hippo's just like-

Alonzo Bodden 43:15 Yeah. The hippo's like-

Joe Rogan 43:16 This is just so ... Oh, so annoying.

Alonzo Bodden 43:17 ... "Why don't you leave me alone?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:18 So annoying. You keep biting me. I think it was taking little pieces out of its back.

Alonzo Bodden 43:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:25 It just couldn't figure out how to get rid of the lion. They're so big.

Alonzo Bodden 43:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:31 But I guess like if you wanna survive in Africa around crocodiles, you have to be so big, the crocodile's like, "I'm not even trying."

Alonzo Bodden 43:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:37 You know?

Alonzo Bodden 43:38 Right. Yeah, there's so many things that can kill you, that this is something that's like, nah.

Joe Rogan 43:43 You know what kills elephants sometimes in Africa? Ants.

Alonzo Bodden 43:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:48 They climb up into their ear.

Alonzo Bodden 43:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:49 They just keep eating. They just climb all the way up their leg.

Alonzo Bodden 43:52 And they eat into their brain, right?

Joe Rogan 43:53 Yeah. Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 43:55 That's a hell of a way to go.

Joe Rogan 43:56 That's gotta be the worst.

Alonzo Bodden 43:58 And there's nothing you can do about it.

Joe Rogan 43:59 What the fuck can you do?

Alonzo Bodden 44:01 You can just ... Yeah, that's a slow-

Joe Rogan 44:01 All these ants are streaming up your body, eating your brain.

Alonzo Bodden 44:04 That's a slow, horrible death.

Joe Rogan 44:07 Nature, you cruel bitch. Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 44:09 But that's nature, you know? Nature's not to be fucked with.

Joe Rogan 44:13 There's a great video that I saw yesterday of a cat trying to get a squirrel. There's a squirrel, and the squirrel's on the tree, and the cat's on the tree. And the cat's going right and the squirrel's going left, and the cat's going left and the squirrel's going right. The squirrel's successfully evading the cat for the most part, and then fucks up. Zigs when he should have zagged.

Alonzo Bodden 44:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:33 And the cat gets him.

Alonzo Bodden 44:33 Well, cats, I think, of, of domestic animals, like they, they have the most instincts of when they were wild. Like a cat can hunt. You know, you ever see them hun- hunt a bird?

Joe Rogan 44:44 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 44:45 It's like if a bird's dumb enough to land on the ground, cat's got 'em.

Joe Rogan 44:50 Cat's got 'em.

Alonzo Bodden 44:50 Cat's got 'em.

Joe Rogan 44:51 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 44:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:51 They move so fast too, and they know you're gonna fly up, so they jump.

Alonzo Bodden 44:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:56 And then they swat you as you're trying to fly away.

Alonzo Bodden 44:58 Yeah. Cats, cats-

Joe Rogan 44:59 They don't even bother eating 'em.

Alonzo Bodden 45:01 No, they just kill it, just to stay in practice.

Joe Rogan 45:03 It's like, "Why would I eat you when I can have cat food?"

Alonzo Bodden 45:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:06 "I have a bowl of cat food. These dumb motherfuckers just leave it out for me." Like cats-

Alonzo Bodden 45:10 Yeah, they're trained-

Joe Rogan 45:11 You don't even have to feed a cat at a certain time.

Alonzo Bodden 45:12 Cats, cats, cats have trained humans perfectly.

Joe Rogan 45:14 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 45:14 Cats are like, "Listen, I, I could, but I have a human."

Joe Rogan 45:17 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 45:18 "It will feed me, and I can totally ignore it." Like, like, dogs earn their food, you know what I mean? Dogs are like, "I protect the house," or, "I fetch," or, "I play with the kids," or this or that. Cats are like, "No, I will totally ignore this human, and they will feed me."

Joe Rogan 45:32 It's just such a weird pet.

Alonzo Bodden 45:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:34 And then what's weird is when people go deep with ... Like, I, I get when people have attack dogs. That makes sense. But I don't get the like servals and shit.

Alonzo Bodden 45:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 45:42 When people have those weird like half-

Alonzo Bodden 45:45 Yeah, like-

Joe Rogan 45:45 Like they're, they're-

Alonzo Bodden 45:46 You don't want a cat that could kill you.

Joe Rogan 45:48 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 45:48 'Cause it's-

Joe Rogan 45:48 They're sort of domesticated. Half domesticated.

Alonzo Bodden 45:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:52 Those serval, you ever heard of those things, when they're trying to feed 'em like chicken bones?

Alonzo Bodden 45:55 Yeah, they (growls) (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:57 They make these crazy noises. Like, fuck, man. That's in your house while you sleep?

Alonzo Bodden 46:00 Do you have a dog?

Joe Rogan 46:01 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 46:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:02 But it's a golden retriever.

Alonzo Bodden 46:03 Oh, it's a nice dog.

Joe Rogan 46:04 Like, the sweetest dog of all time. They're so nice.

Alonzo Bodden 46:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:07 Everybody that comes over to the house, like if you came over my house, it'd be like, oh, love, oh.

Alonzo Bodden 46:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:10 Like, like your long lost friends. Everybody's a long lost friend.

Alonzo Bodden 46:14 That has been something ... Since, since I've been just locked down, that thought's crossed my mind. Like, "Man, I should get a dog. I should get a dog."

Joe Rogan 46:20 Dogs are great, but only when you go on the road-

Alonzo Bodden 46:22 But only ... Right.

Joe Rogan 46:22 ... as much as you do. Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 46:23 Once I go back to work, I won't be able to take care of it, so ... But, but dogs are really cool. And I have a neighbor who has a dog, it's called a dogo. You familiar with these?

Joe Rogan 46:32 Oh, a Dogo Argentino?

Alonzo Bodden 46:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:33 Ooh.

Alonzo Bodden 46:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:35 That's awesome.

Alonzo Bodden 46:35 But it's a fantastic dog. Like, and, and she says ... She's a dog trainer. She said, "Yeah, some people have used these for fighting and this and that." She said, "But if you get ..." She's like, "I know a breeder. I'll get you a good one you can dr-" And it's really a great dog. And it's tempting, but I know like once I go back on the road, then it becomes the, the ... It's either at the kennel all the time-

Joe Rogan 46:56 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 46:56 ... where I gotta get the dog sitter, so it's not gonna work. But dogs are just ... They're just cool, man. I love dogs.

Joe Rogan 47:02 Yeah, it would be sad for the dog if he did that, unfortunately.

Alonzo Bodden 47:03 Right. It's not fair to the dog to just leave it.

Joe Rogan 47:06 Eliza's got it nailed. She gets them little dogs, she puts 'em in her purse.

Alonzo Bodden 47:09 And she takes 'em with her.

Joe Rogan 47:09 Takes 'em everywhere.

Alonzo Bodden 47:11 She-

Joe Rogan 47:11 She's figured it out.

Alonzo Bodden 47:12 (laughs) We were at the Improv once, and she's about to go on, and she just handed me her dog.

Joe Rogan 47:16 Yes, that's what she did. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 47:17 She's like, "Here's Blanche. Here's Bla-" I'm like, "Yeah, okay. I guess I'll hold Blanche." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:21 She would just know that we would take care of it. God, it was an aw- adorable dog.

Alonzo Bodden 47:26 Yeah, Blanche is-

Joe Rogan 47:26 Her new dog's very ador- Have you met Tofu?

Alonzo Bodden 47:28 No, I haven't met the new one.

Joe Rogan 47:30 Oh, super adorable dog.

Alonzo Bodden 47:31 Hotz. Jeremy Hotz has one too. He's got a ... Shaq. Shaq is his long-haired Chihuahua-

Joe Rogan 47:37 Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 47:38 ... that he brings, uh-

Joe Rogan 47:39 Yeah, if you're a road person, a Chihuahua's really ... Like that kinda size dog, that's your move.

Alonzo Bodden 47:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:45 You can just take 'em with you.

Alonzo Bodden 47:47 Yeah. But, uh-

Joe Rogan 47:48 The road, man. Doesn't it make you not wanna do the road again? Like when you, you're home for this month-

Alonzo Bodden 47:51 I'm worried about that, man. I'm worried about being home to ... I, I haven't been ... It ... I haven't gone this long without getting on a plane in 20 years.

Joe Rogan 48:01 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 48:01 And, and the idea ... Like, I'm afraid of, of not wanting to go back to work. The other thing is, you know, I've done a couple of live streams at the Laugh Factory, right? I'm doing ... Next week I'm doing a, uh, uh, digital comedy club thing, right? I'm like, "Man, what if I get used to working without an audience?"

Joe Rogan 48:22 Well, what if that VR thing happens?

Alonzo Bodden 48:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:25 What if the VR thing happens, and they can make it set up so that like you could be on a stage, you put the VR on, and the people put their VR on, and they're sitting in an audience? Like-

Alonzo Bodden 48:37 I did one of those-... it's, it was weird.

Joe Rogan 48:41 For now.

Alonzo Bodden 48:42 Yeah. The, the thing about it is, what you really lose, there is an energy that comes from laughter in the room. Like, you, you can do it... I, I, I think of it as kinda like this, or like doing radio where people can be listening and they might be laughing, like, like when you do morning radio.

Joe Rogan 49:00 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 49:01 They're laughing in their car, but you don't really know that.

Joe Rogan 49:04 Right, right, right.

Alonzo Bodden 49:04 You know?

Joe Rogan 49:05 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 49:05 So-

Joe Rogan 49:05 The people in the studio have to kinda laugh along with you to like everybody kn- let everybody know.

Alonzo Bodden 49:09 Right. So-

Joe Rogan 49:11 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 49:11 I mean, it works for now, and, and it is kind of fun and just odd doing it, you know?

Joe Rogan 49:17 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 49:17 So I don't mind doing... Like, I hear some comics say that they wouldn't do it or they hate it. To me, it's just psych. Okay, this is what we're doing now and it's, it's weird, but it's fun.

Joe Rogan 49:27 That would be the question to ask those comics.

Alonzo Bodden 49:28 Oh-

Joe Rogan 49:28 What would you do if there was no more comedy ever again live? What if this is just the tip of the disease iceberg?

Alonzo Bodden 49:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:35 And it keeps getting worse and worse? Are you, are you willing to accept no more comedy ever? Probably not.

Alonzo Bodden 49:41 No. No. I'm, uh-

Joe Rogan 49:41 Nobody would be. You'd, you'd wind up doing those digital comedy clubs.

Alonzo Bodden 49:44 Yeah. I mean, I, you know-

Joe Rogan 49:46 I just hope it doesn't come to that.

Alonzo Bodden 49:47 I don't think it's gonna come to that all the time. Another thing is, oh, I was talking to a, a Vegas guy who's a promoter and does shows, and he said he thinks comedy's gonna come back first, because it's the easiest thing to produce. So he said like, "You could do a comedy show outdoors with people sitting six feet apart from each other-"

Joe Rogan 50:07 Hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 50:07 "...and just one comic with a microphone on stage," he said, "versus a band, where now you got the, uh, the band members on stage and all the technical stuff." He's like, "Comedy's just... This is where it's easy. Like, we're a microphone and a speaker."

Joe Rogan 50:23 That's a good point.

Alonzo Bodden 50:24 You know?

Joe Rogan 50:24 That's a good point.

Alonzo Bodden 50:24 So, so we could do it. I mean, you couldn't draw as many people, but you could do it-

Joe Rogan 50:30 But what if you just test everybody?

Alonzo Bodden 50:32 Yeah. Well, I think that that's gonna be part of it too. That's, uh... I was reading about as Europe reopens, that's what they're doing. They're-

Joe Rogan 50:40 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 50:41 ...they're scanning people, like I guess, testing you for fevers and...

Joe Rogan 50:44 I don't buy this thing that they wanna... I mean, I, I don't wanna do the tracking thing. When they talk about that, I think that's a real slippery slope. If they let you track people on their cellphones, whether or not-

Alonzo Bodden 50:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:55 ...they're sick or healthy and you, you know exactly where they go and who they're in contact with, I think that's a slippery slope because the problem with that is once they get that kind of power to track people, they're gonna find-

Alonzo Bodden 51:05 They're never gonna get rid of it.

Joe Rogan 51:06 They're never gonna get rid of it. They're gonna find-

Alonzo Bodden 51:07 And-

Joe Rogan 51:07 ...another reason to use it.

Alonzo Bodden 51:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 51:09 Use it. They'll use it for the flu, they'll use it for something else.

Alonzo Bodden 51:11 And it, and it's also so... It's such a faulty thing to do, you know? You know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 51:18 Yes.

Alonzo Bodden 51:18 It's, it's like if you know you're being tracked, well, I'm gonna give my phone to whoever. Like what-

Joe Rogan 51:24 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 51:24 What do they always do in a movie? They, they put the tracker on-

Joe Rogan 51:27 On a car, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 51:27 ...on an animal or a car or something, and then they send them the wrong pla- well, now they don't know who ha- no, I don't think that's a-

Joe Rogan 51:33 Well, then they'll get a felony to do that, Alonzo. You can't give your phone to your friend.

Alonzo Bodden 51:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:38 You would try to be deceptive.

Alonzo Bodden 51:39 Yeah, okay. I'm-

Joe Rogan 51:41 I think-

Alonzo Bodden 51:41 (laughs) You know?

Joe Rogan 51:42 I just think it's a fucking slippery slope, and I think we have-

Alonzo Bodden 51:44 It, it-

Joe Rogan 51:44 ...to be really careful.

Alonzo Bodden 51:44 It absolutely is. I don't, I don't think we can... I don't think you can trust them, trust any authorities or medical or whatever with that. It's, it's like-

Joe Rogan 51:54 But that said, what I was gonna say, you could have a driver's license, right? Well, why can't you have a license that shows you've been tested?

Alonzo Bodden 51:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:00 You don't need... It just has-

Alonzo Bodden 52:01 Yeah, you-

Joe Rogan 52:01 ...your face on it. It's a public... You know, like just like a driver's license-

Alonzo Bodden 52:04 Right. It's a, it's a-

Joe Rogan 52:05 ...where it's got a seal, it's got your picture.

Alonzo Bodden 52:07 ...you've been tested. And you, you know-

Joe Rogan 52:08 Yeah, you've been tested.

Alonzo Bodden 52:08 However often, like once-

Joe Rogan 52:09 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 52:10 ...a year or something like that.

Joe Rogan 52:11 And you have like a hole punch next to the date, an official-

Alonzo Bodden 52:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 52:13 ...hole punch. Like, you know, you get a bunch of them, then you get a new card.

Alonzo Bodden 52:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:17 Why, why can't we do that? Get a new card every 90 days.

Alonzo Bodden 52:19 Until they come up with a vaccine. I think science, science will come up with a vaccine, you know? A, uh, b- combination of human immunity and science will come up with some... I mean, it, this is like polio, you know, was when, when you were a kid and polio was a definite threat. Like, you had to worry about it, you know? And then they came up with a vaccine.

Joe Rogan 52:41 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 52:41 This is another thing. I mean, disease... I have a friend who, who works in this and she said, "Yeah, you know, viruses and diseases and stuff like... They, they change, they adapt, so we have to-"

Joe Rogan 52:53 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 52:54 "...adapt."

Joe Rogan 52:54 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 52:55 You know? We, we have to stay ahead of it, and this one just caught everyone off guard. There was no-

Joe Rogan 53:01 Yeah, they've been d- warning us about this kind of thing, the p- the possibility of this kind of thing for a long time. Bill Gates did a TED Talk in 2015 where he talked about it.

Alonzo Bodden 53:09 Yeah. Yeah, and they... You know, they sh- they showed it. It... I don't know. They looked at it, you know, Obama talked about, "This is something we gotta spend money on and, and get ready for." And it's one of those things. N- n- people didn't want to believe it. He's a guy who's... (laughs) It's almost funny how smart he was. Like, he just kn- you know, he's like, "Yeah, we should prepare for infectious diseases." He said, "Nah." And then it's like now like, "Oh, shit. We probably should've prepared for infectious diseases."

Joe Rogan 53:40 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 53:40 And, and you know, the United States... Well, this is just another example of our medical system, and we gotta get it together where medicine isn't just for the rich.

Joe Rogan 53:49 Yes. For sure. Dude, I hate to say this, but I have to piss so bad. I drank way too much coffee before the show. Can we pause?

Alonzo Bodden 53:55 Mm-hmm. Sure.

Joe Rogan 53:56 Pause it. Yeah. Pause it real-

Alonzo Bodden 53:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:57 I gotta piss. Be right back. Sorry.

Alonzo Bodden 53:59 Oh, no worries.

Joe Rogan 53:59 Sorry, sorry to back up.

Alonzo Bodden 54:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:01 Whoo!

Alonzo Bodden 54:03 (laughs) One of life's great-

Joe Rogan 54:04 We good?

Alonzo Bodden 54:04 ...feelings.

Narrator 54:05 Yeah, it's fine.

Joe Rogan 54:05 I fucked up. Uh, sorry folks. Um, I had a big thing of bone broth earlier, and I had two double espressos, then I had two, at least two large bottles of water.

Alonzo Bodden 54:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:17 So, it was, uh, it was a real str... I was like, "D- goddammit, I fucked up." I pissed before the show too, and I thought I was gonna be okay.

Alonzo Bodden 54:23 It's all good. That's one of life's great feelings.

Joe Rogan 54:24 (sighs) It is.

Alonzo Bodden 54:26 When you, when you gotta pee and it's just right there and then you get that-

Joe Rogan 54:30 (sighs)

Alonzo Bodden 54:30 Yeah, exactly (laughs) . He's like-

Joe Rogan 54:32 (sighs)

Alonzo Bodden 54:33 It's the simple things, Joe.

Joe Rogan 54:35 It, it is.

Alonzo Bodden 54:35 It's the simple things and the simple pleasures.

Joe Rogan 54:38 That's what we can-

Alonzo Bodden 54:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:38 ...enjoy out of this pandemic, some of the simple pleasures. You know what I do appreciate? I appreciate talking to people, because I'm, I'm... You know, when you're locked up in your house, most of the time you're, uh, uh... Until I'm here, I'm locked up in the house.

Alonzo Bodden 54:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:50 So I'm just sitting around or I'm in the yard or I'm going on a tr- we could go on trails in my neighborhood still.But at a certain point in time, you know, you wanna talk to somebody. So, I come here. I appreciate talking to people, like, even more than before.

Alonzo Bodden 55:03 What, what I like is the absolute silence at night.

Joe Rogan 55:08 Mm.

Alonzo Bodden 55:09 Like, you know, it, it's-

Joe Rogan 55:10 For sure.

Alonzo Bodden 55:10 ... I'll turn off everything, you know. No, like, no TV, no music, nothing, and just ... It's perfectly silent. It's so odd, because so few people are out, so you just- you don't get the car. Now, like where I live, we don't get a lot of cars or anything, but you just get nothing. It's perfectly silent.

Joe Rogan 55:26 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 55:27 And it- it's a strange meditative situation. Like, these are the kind of things that once we get back to ... Once we find out whatever the new normal is, that's gonna be the kind of thing that that doesn't, like ... Yeah. We, we don't have... You realize, like, my life isn't quiet.

Joe Rogan 55:45 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 55:46 You know? There's a lot of noise in life. And, um, and travel. You know, we were talking about it. I don't know what that's gonna be. What, what is travel gonna be like?

Joe Rogan 55:57 It's gonna be weird.

Alonzo Bodden 55:59 You know?

Joe Rogan 55:59 Everyone's gonna be paranoid.

Alonzo Bodden 56:01 We're all gonna be paranoid. You're gonna be-

Joe Rogan 56:02 Everyone's gonna be masked up.

Alonzo Bodden 56:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:04 Are we-

Alonzo Bodden 56:04 Are we gonna be trying to maintain distance? What are the airlines gonna do?

Joe Rogan 56:08 How are they gonna keep distance apart from each other? And people already are like, oddly not connected when they travel, right?

Alonzo Bodden 56:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:15 Like, you sit next to a person. You usually don't even talk to them, you know? You get up, everybody gets in line. You don't even really ... No, no, very little small talk, get off the plane.

Alonzo Bodden 56:23 Well, we're hurting. It's hurting.

Joe Rogan 56:25 Yeah, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 56:25 You know? So, so now are you still gonna be able to herd people? Are people gonna appreciate, you know? Are we gonna be nicer to each other, you know?

Joe Rogan 56:33 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 56:33 And, and you would hope so, but human nature always shows like, nah. We ... Like, when- whenever ... It seems whenever we're given the choice of, "Okay, can we be better or worse?" Why do we always go to worse?

Joe Rogan 56:44 Well, this is-

Alonzo Bodden 56:45 Or it just takes-

Joe Rogan 56:45 This is why in this situation you gotta be worried, because people really don't have any experience with this kind of adversity, so this is a new thing.

Alonzo Bodden 56:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:52 So, yeah. Adversity tests character. There's a lot of people that haven't had to develop character. They've been living these weak-ass, fucking useless, silly lives.

Alonzo Bodden 57:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 57:01 And then all of a sudden, adversity comes and shines its ugly head, and these morons are all of a sudden dealt, uh, the weirdest hand of cards ever, where everybody's kind of fucked. And then when things go back to work again ... When you're asked to deal with adversity and you don't have any character ...

Alonzo Bodden 57:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 57:17 Like, you- like, you're, you're a guy with character. I think you'll be fine. I think you probably will be nicer after this. I know I'm gonna be nicer.

Alonzo Bodden 57:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:25 I think most people are gonna be like ... I don't even mean, like, nicer. I mean, like, I'm a little more appreciative. I'm always nice, but-

Alonzo Bodden 57:30 Appreciative.

Joe Rogan 57:31 ... appreciative.

Alonzo Bodden 57:32 And aware.

Joe Rogan 57:33 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 57:33 Aware of, of ... You know, one of the problem ... People are not aware of the existence of other people.

Joe Rogan 57:39 Yes. Right, right.

Alonzo Bodden 57:40 You know? So you have ... Like, like, if you- if you're holding a sign, "Give me liberty or give me death," in front of a Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream, you're like ... You're not, you're not really aware what that means, are you?

Joe Rogan 57:52 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 57:52 Like, you're- you're probably-

Joe Rogan 57:53 You don't know what it stands for.

Alonzo Bodden 57:53 ... gonna be okay. If there's a Baskin-Robbins behind you-

Joe Rogan 57:57 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 57:57 ... your liberty's probably not a life-and-death issue right now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:02 Yeah. The aware- awareness thing is a- it's a real problem with people, but there's people that are ... They're barely keeping it together with the most amazing society ever. Through no fault of their own, for the most part. Most people are fucked up. They grew up in a fucked-up house, and they had a fucked-up family, in a fucked-up neighborhood.

Alonzo Bodden 58:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:18 And people did them wrong every step of the way, and then here they are, all fucked up at 35 years old. But that doesn't take away from the fact that they are fucked up at 35 years old, and if they are really overweight and they eat sugar all day and they can't keep a job and they're always making excuses and now there's a pandemic, don't expect them to rise to the occasion, man.

Alonzo Bodden 58:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 58:40 And-

Alonzo Bodden 58:41 Or, you know, that- that's one. The other one's are the: we're so insulated from reality.

Joe Rogan 58:48 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 58:48 You know? Like, like, I, I briefly lived in suburbia, right? I had a house. I was up in Valencia.

Joe Rogan 58:54 Oh, that's a nice area.

Alonzo Bodden 58:55 It's nice, but it's too nice. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 58:57 Mm-hmm.

Alonzo Bodden 58:57 And it was like ... It was this perfect suburbia and, and all I could think was, man, the majority of these people, they- their life goes from the cubicle to the cul-de-sac.

Joe Rogan 59:08 Yep.

Alonzo Bodden 59:09 That's their day.

Joe Rogan 59:10 Yep.

Alonzo Bodden 59:10 I'm in the cubicle at the office, I come home to the cul-de-sac.

Joe Rogan 59:13 Yep.

Alonzo Bodden 59:14 And it's such a ... It's ... You know, I was always like, "I hope there's something in your life that makes this good, because this would be the most boring existence." But that is what ... It's almost like that's what we aspire to. Like, that's what they build every time they build one of these new communities, right?

Joe Rogan 59:30 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 59:30 Now, they even ... The latest construction of malls ... I used to always laugh about this. So, they tear down all the mom and pop stores and build a mall which is a fake town of mom and pop stores. You know what I mean? Like, everything is this perfect controlled environment.

Joe Rogan 59:46 Mm.

Alonzo Bodden 59:46 And like you said, now that's all out the window, so what do you do? You know? And, and-

Joe Rogan 59:52 Right. What, what, what is gonna happen to malls?

Alonzo Bodden 59:54 What do people do? Yeah. Malls are ... Well-

Joe Rogan 59:56 They're already hurting, right?

Alonzo Bodden 59:57 The outdoor malls ...

Joe Rogan 59:59 Oh, like REI? That kind of shit? (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:01 No, the like, like, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:00:03 Oh, outdoor. Like, outside malls.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:06 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:06 Those might still work, but, but even now they showed, like, store like Neiman Marcus about to go bankrupt, 'cause people like, like, "Wait a minute. You know what? I don't need clothes."

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 Well-

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:15 Right?

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 ... also, people are buying-

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:16 You know-

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 ... shit online.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:17 People are buying stuff online, but, but a lot of stuff, if you're like a, like Macy's, you don't sell anything that people need right now.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 No. Not if people are hurting.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:28 There's ... So, so-

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 Hey, what's the amount of people buying new clothes right now?

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:30 It makes it difficult to stay in business when you don't sell ... When everything you sell is basically a luxury or a pleasure thing, you know? Like, like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Yeah. Like diamonds.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:42 Right. Yeah, nobody's buying diamonds.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:45 (laughs) Man. I haven't seen a Kay Jewelers commercial. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:49 I ... I know, right? You don't see any of those engagement commercials now. Not right now.

Alonzo Bodden 1:00:54 Right. There's nothing ... You know, it's so ... It's- it is gonna be interesting, because those companies-... have to survive this-

Joe Rogan 1:01:02 Or don't they?

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:03 ... and then get us out.

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 Look, the blockbuster's gone, bro.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:06 Yeah. That's true.

Joe Rogan 1:01:07 You know, things change.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:08 That's true.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 Blockbuster was everywhere. Remember those days?

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:10 Blockbuster was, was everywhere.

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 When we were young-

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:11 There's one left.

Joe Rogan 1:01:13 ... date night ... You know, now these kids with their Netflix and chill, back in the day we had to-

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:18 We had to earn it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 ... we had to earn it. We had to go to the Blockbuster store, and you usually had to go with your girlfriend, right?

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:24 You couldn't, you couldn't just pick the movie.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:27 And, no, no, th- they ran out.

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 That's right.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:30 They ran out of the movies. They sold the-

Joe Rogan 1:01:32 Remember when they have, they would have the empty box, and then you'd-

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:33 Like we wouldn't see, you wouldn't see Tiger King until it was your turn.

Joe Rogan 1:01:38 Right.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:38 'Cause, 'cause your Blockbuster would have eight Tiger Kings and they'd always be rented when you went there, you know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 Yeah. And whenever a new movie came out, they would always have a long shelf with the new movie.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:50 A lot of versions of it.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:51 And you had to rewind it before you could return it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 That's where like the, the, those made to only go to home movies came from.

Alonzo Bodden 1:01:58 Oh, I knew, I knew a guy-

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 Remember? Those terrible movies?

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:00 ... who made ... He made a ton of money on those.

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:04 He made a ... And, and I'm not talking porn. I'm talking regular movies. He said-

Joe Rogan 1:02:08 Just terrible movies.

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:09 He said what he would do is he would get, uh, the seniors in film school, right? And he would give them-

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:17 What did he say he gave them? Something like $10,000 and a camera, and said, "Go make a movie."

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:25 And then he, they ... It was either 10 grand or 50 grand. It was something like that. But he'd give them that and a camera, "Go make a movie." And they'd come back and he said ... And it always would be (laughs) a slasher movie-

Joe Rogan 1:02:35 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:35 ... 'cause they were the easiest to make. And he said, "It's amazing how many women will take their top off if you point a camera at them." So it was all like titty slasher movies.

Joe Rogan 1:02:45 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:46 And he would sell them overseas, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 Oh.

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:49 I-i-i-it was, you know, it was like Bikers Crazy Kill or, or-

Joe Rogan 1:02:53 (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:02:53 ... something at a mall. You know, the, the, the Mall Monster or what ... And it was all these cr- ... But, but he made a, he made a ton of money off of that. It was the straight to video movies with no budget, and th- the, the kids would make them. And to the ki- ... You know, if you're a senior in film school-

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:09 ... like that's a great thing when someone says, "Here's some cash and a camera. Go make a movie."

Joe Rogan 1:03:13 That feels to me the same way I feel about like NCAA athletes not getting paid to play-

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:19 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 ... when the schools are making billions of dollars. I'm like, "Huh, what's going ... You know, not quite as bad as that, but what's going on here?"

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 "How much money you making from this fucking movie, man?" But it's a great thing for the kids too. So if you're a kid and you're going to film school and some guy comes along and goes, "Not only am I gonna give you the equipment," he's like, "I'm gonna give you $50,000 to make a fucking movie."

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:40 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 Come on, make a movie, bro. You can make 50 grand.

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:41 Yeah. Then you're gonna make a movie, then he's gonna sell it for a couple of hundred grand or 250-

Joe Rogan 1:03:45 Yeah, or whatever.

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:45 ... or whatever in the international (laughs) video market. But-

Joe Rogan 1:03:49 It's hilarious.

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:49 But it's-

Joe Rogan 1:03:49 It's hilarious.

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:50 Oh, and, and you talk about bad. I mean these movies were just-

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 Woo. (laughs)

Alonzo Bodden 1:03:54 But that's, (laughs) but that's what made it fun is the movies were so bad, you know, that it was, it was like great. Like they ... We don't really have an editing budget. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:03 Right, terrible.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:05 So, (laughs) you know?

Joe Rogan 1:04:06 No special effects.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:07 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:08 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:08 Is that guy holding a microphone in this shot? Well ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 You know what's funny though? Occasionally someone will make a movie for like 15 bucks and it works. Like you remember Blair Witch Project?

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:17 Blair Witch, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 That was a fucking legitimately scary movie.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:20 That was a scary movie. And then, and then they tried to do it big budget and they couldn't make it work.

Joe Rogan 1:04:25 No, they fucked it up.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:26 It had to be that, you know ...

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 They fucked it up. The found footage, like, "What is this?"

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:31 "Let's watch it." Like, th- those videos. There was a whole sh- ... There wasn't a series of movie called VHF? Wasn't there a VHS?

Narrator 1:04:39 VHS.

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 VHS.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 VHS.

Narrator 1:04:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:40 That's right.

Narrator 1:04:40 VHF was a weirdo thing.

Joe Rogan 1:04:42 Right, right, right. (laughs) But VHS was a movie about people finding VHS footage of like people getting attacked by demons.

Alonzo Bodden 1:04:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:50 And there was one that the lady, they, they made a movie afterwards about her. I think it was called Siren, where she was one of the characters in the VHS, or VH ... Yeah, VHS.

Narrator 1:05:02 Yeah, yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 She was one of the characters in that. In one of the ... There was a girl that was really pretty, but really weird. And these guys took her back to the house and she wanted to fuck them. And she's like, "I love you. I like you. I like you." And she turns into a demon and tears everybody apart. It was really wild.

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 Wild shit, but it was-

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:18 Yeah, but why not?

Narrator 1:05:19 Do you remember part of the marketing for Blair Witch that they had a bunch of online stuff that made it seem real when it came out and people were really confused on whether it ...

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:24 Right, there was like news, news stories about people disappearing and stuff like that.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 And morons just bought right into it.

Narrator 1:05:30 I was gonna say I had a couple friends who thought it was 100% real.

Joe Rogan 1:05:33 Yeah.

Narrator 1:05:33 We got into like big discussions about it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 Of course. Those are those people right now that are talking about 5G. "Fucking 5G. This is a, this is a hoax."

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:39 This is it. It is.

Joe Rogan 1:05:40 "Coronavirus is a hoax, man."

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:42 It's all 5G and it was created ... But y- yeah. Though when people say that, like ... And, and ... Now have you got this? I'm sure you've gotten this. People who are otherwise reasonable send you something and you're like, "Holy shit, do you believe this?" Like now I gotta rethink my relationship with you.

Joe Rogan 1:05:59 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:05:59 (laughs) You know?

Joe Rogan 1:06:00 Yeah.

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:00 Like, like I got the one about, um, don't take the vaccine because the vaccine is the sickness.

Joe Rogan 1:06:07 Oh, boy.

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:07 And they're, they're experimenting on you and they wanna ... You know, it's like, man, you, you gotta ... Like you believe this?

Joe Rogan 1:06:15 I got one from a smart dude that I know where there were, uh ... This doctor was talking straight to the camera and the doctor's saying, "This is not a disease. This is radiation sickness." Doctor.

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:24 A doctor.

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:25 Yeah, well.

Joe Rogan 1:06:25 Pointing b- ... Wears a doctor's outfit. And I'm like, "Okay, this is a guy with schizophrenia."

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:29 That's not a radiation disease. They know exactly what it is. They've got it ... They, they know the genome. They've kn- ... They know that it came from the bats-

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:35 ... that came from the very area that the Wuhan lab was studying.

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:39 Okay. This is really well documented shit. It's not radiation poisoning.

Alonzo Bodden 1:06:43 But, but people will absolutely ignore that. That, that's what's frustrating to the scientists and the doctors, right? When they're standing there and, and they're lis- ... And they're like, "We know this shit."