Joe Rogan Experience #1471 - Tony Hinchcliffe

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Three, two, one. Tony…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      Three, two, one. Tony motherfucking Hinchcliffe.

   2. THTony Hinchcliffe0:07

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      Good to see you, buddy.

   4. THTony Hinchcliffe0:08

      Good to see you.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      Every time comics come here that I usually spend multiple nights a week with, like ... (sighs) It's so nice to be semi-normal again.

   6. THTony Hinchcliffe0:19

      Yes, for fucking sure.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      The restrictions are supposed to be lifting up here in Los Angeles on Friday, which means nothing for us, for comedians. It means something for, like, some re- retail, some other stuff, but they're doing it nice and slow. And did you see the list of shit that the governor's office put out of stuff you're allowed to do?

   8. THTony Hinchcliffe0:39

      Mm-mm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:39

      You should pull that up, Jamie, 'cause it is ... It's quite hilarious. First of all, it's, it's kind of condescending. It's what? It's like treating you like you're a moron. Like, "Here's things you're allowed to do."

   10. THTony Hinchcliffe0:50

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       One of them that I thought that was hilarious, it said, "soft martial arts."

   12. THTony Hinchcliffe0:53

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Yeah. It did. It said, "Tai chi. This is ... You're allowed to do this outside."

   14. THTony Hinchcliffe0:57

       Oh, no.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Soft martial arts.

   16. THTony Hinchcliffe0:59

       No.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       Like, why can't you do ... Why can't you shadowbox? Can you do that?

   18. THTony Hinchcliffe1:03

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Or it's only okay if you do things that don't work?

   20. THTony Hinchcliffe1:06

       Ugh.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       Like, you're saying martial, martial art, all right? That's an art of war, right?

   22. THTony Hinchcliffe1:11

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       And Tai Chi is ... It is a ... It's more, much more of a meditation than it is an art of war.

   24. THTony Hinchcliffe1:18

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       I, I think there's ... It's very beneficial. But, like, look at what it says. "Athletics, number one." What does that mean? Badminton, singles. Singles! Throwing a ball, a baseball, softball. Stop. Here's the problem with that.

   26. THTony Hinchcliffe1:30

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:31

       If you're throwing a baseball, you're basically shaking hands.

   28. THTony Hinchcliffe1:33

       Yup.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:34

       And you're doing it with an organic skin, right? Baseball, the outside of it is cow skin.

   30. JVJamie Vernon1:38

       You could throw a ball by yourself, but ...
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh, no. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      a kick. One, one guy who was, uh, sparring just like, I think, they said it was like his r- last round of sparring. He said, "Ah, fuck it. I don't need a cup, just go light." Boom! Takes a shot to the nuts and one of his balls explodes.

   2. THTony Hinchcliffe15:11

      Oh, no.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      And then they had to remove it.

   4. THTony Hinchcliffe15:13

      Ah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      Yeah. Dude, you, you, you s- imagine the force of someone hitting you with a kick. Like imagine the force of someone who's a, like Tyron Woodley, who's an excellent leg kicker. He's got vicious power in his leg kicks. The force of that hitting your nuts (laughs) you're nuts are not desi-... You need a cup, man.

   6. THTony Hinchcliffe15:32

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:33

      Your nuts are not designed to survive that with no help. That's crazy.

   8. THTony Hinchcliffe15:36

      That's why they gave us two, just in case.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:39

      Just in case.

   10. THTony Hinchcliffe15:39

       'Cause there's no kick that could blast through two at once, right?

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       There's a lotta kicks that'll blast through two nuts.

   12. THTony Hinchcliffe15:44

       Wow!

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       Yeah, 100%. Pedro Rizzo if he l- if he kicked your nuts, you would have no nuts. They would be all smashed up like gravy. (laughs)

   14. THTony Hinchcliffe15:54

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       He's... That guy kicked so hard.

   16. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)15:57

       I was looking at, uh, hard and soft martial arts, uh, judo, like that's judo, ju- j- the "ju" of judo and jujitsu is soft. So it's, um-

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:07

       Mm.

   18. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)16:07

       ... like not, uh-

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:08

       That's silly.

   20. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)16:09

       ... blocking with a block. Like, blocking an attack with a block-

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       Oh, I see, I see.

   22. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)16:13

       ... but force.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:13

       Like a redirection.

   24. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)16:14

       Intercepting it, yeah, like-

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       Well, then you can't... I don't know, maybe I'm looking at the word soft incorrectly.

   26. THTony Hinchcliffe16:19

       Soft martial arts just has a picture of CM Punk next to it.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:22

       Oh, you son of a bitch!

   28. THTony Hinchcliffe16:24

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:25

       Um, you, you would never call judo a soft martial art though. In, in... I mean, maybe it's technically that, but, I mean, in m- amongst the circles that I travel in-

   30. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)16:33

       Of course.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Oh, the- …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

   2. JVJamie Vernon30:00

      Oh, the-

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      Lisa Emery.

   4. JVJamie Vernon30:01

      Oh, oh, oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Dude, she's incredible.

   6. JVJamie Vernon30:04

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      She's so scary (laughs) .

   8. THTony Hinchcliffe30:07

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      She's so scary on that show. (gasps) And the other woman, the, the lawyer woman, she scares the fuck out of me too.

   10. JVJamie Vernon30:14

       Mm-hmm.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:14

       Helen? Goddamn it, who is that lady? That lady's amazing as well.

   12. JVJamie Vernon30:21

       Janet McTeer.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:23

       She's terrifying (laughs) .

   14. THTony Hinchcliffe30:24

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       Like, the b- they steal the show. That's a, one of the interesting things about Ozark is, you wanna talk about a show that's like an equal opportunity show. It's a terrifying show and the two scariest characters are women (laughs) .

   16. THTony Hinchcliffe30:38

       Yeah.... mind-boggling.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:41

       (gasps) It's a great show. It's so good.

   18. THTony Hinchcliffe30:43

       One of my favorites.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       And it's so good.

   20. THTony Hinchcliffe30:44

       And it's funny because, you know, it's written and directed by Jason Bateman. And when I first visited California the first time, I was... I had just graduated high school and I was out here visiting my brother. And we got lost. We were in this SUV and we got lost going around the Hollywood Hills. And at one point, my brother (laughs) stops to ask for directions. Somehow we got lo... Like, it's like looking back on, it's like you just go down the hill, right? But we didn't know what side we were on. Anyway, he stops to ask this guy that's walking on the side of the street, who's clearly on the cell phone, um, which way to get back down. He's like, "Excuse me, sir. Excuse me." (laughs) And this guy turns around and it was Jason Bateman.

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       Whoa.

   22. THTony Hinchcliffe31:24

       And Jason Bateman's on his phone and he looks back at my brother and he goes like, he's looking at my brother like, "Can't you see?" Like he didn't say a word, but he looks at his phone like, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:36

       (laughs)

   24. THTony Hinchcliffe31:36

       Like, "What are you, a idiot?"

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:38

       (laughs)

   26. THTony Hinchcliffe31:38

       And, uh, but he didn't say anything, he just looked at his phone and looked at us like that. And, uh, and kept walking. (laughs) Went back on his phone call. So after that I'm like, "You know what? Screw that Jason Bateman guy." (laughs) Like I was never...

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:51

       (laughs)

   28. THTony Hinchcliffe31:51

       I didn't really find... None of the... That one sitcom he was on never really connected with me or whatever. And so I always thought I was anti-Jason Bateman.

   29. JRJoe Rogan32:00

       (laughs)

   30. THTony Hinchcliffe32:00

       And then here we are-
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Oh, yeah, that was…

   1. THTony Hinchcliffe45:00

      a cable news network. Like, they had that one with Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom or whatever, but that was sorta janky.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      Oh, yeah, that was the one where he would go on these rants.

   3. THTony Hinchcliffe45:08

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      They're pretty good, but a guy rants that well all the time, I'm like, "Hey bro, you planning this?" (laughs)

   5. THTony Hinchcliffe45:15

      (laughs) Right.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:17

      (claps) Like, what kind of human being do you wanna hear go on these perfectly worded rants all the time?

   7. JVJamie Vernon45:23

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:24

      You know? Th- it wasn't that weird? Like, that was his thing. Like, that was his soft kung fu. His soft martial art was these rants.

   9. THTony Hinchcliffe45:30

      (laughs)

   10. JVJamie Vernon45:32

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       He would bust them out like tai chi in the park.

   12. THTony Hinchcliffe45:34

       (claps)

   13. JVJamie Vernon45:34

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       And you'd be like, "Come on, no one talks like this." You have conversations with people. You don't just go on these crazy rants, right?

   15. THTony Hinchcliffe45:40

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       Isn't that interesting they'll try that with a character when a guy's really good at rants? Like, "He should just do this all the time."

   17. THTony Hinchcliffe45:47

       Mm-hmm.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Like, every movie with Al Pacino has to have some kind of rants! (laughs)

   19. THTony Hinchcliffe45:53

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Right? Always. That's part of who he is.

   21. THTony Hinchcliffe45:58

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:58

       He's the guy that has a monologue where everybody's standing around going, " (gasps) ," and, and then he'll start yelling at you.

   23. THTony Hinchcliffe46:04

       You ever seen-

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:04

       'Cause he's the devil or whatever.

   25. THTony Hinchcliffe46:05

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:05

       (laughs)

   27. THTony Hinchcliffe46:06

       I was gonna say, The Devil's Advocate's the best one of that, 'cause he literally just gets c- crazier and crazier and crazier.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       I wish we could play it. I wish we could play it. (clears throat) Yeah. He was a fucking wizard, man. Who was better in his prime than Al Pacino? Think about Scarface. Goddamn.

   29. THTony Hinchcliffe46:24

       Yeah. Have you seen The Irishman?

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:26

       Whoo. No, I haven't seen it yet.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:13:19

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      It's so hard for people that have just said, "You know what? I'm just gonna numb myself with pills." I'm just gonna... Like those guys, "I'm just gonna numb myself." It's so hard for those guys to get out of that.

   2. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)1:00:10

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      It's so hard to go, "No, I'm gonna run every day and eat healthy food, and I'm gonna drink only water." That's hard. That's way harder than just taking Oxys. So, so many people just wanna slide... And if you meet a guy and he's like 31 and he's taking Oxys, like, how much can you change him? Like, you almost want... You, you have to be so, so driven to change yourself, and a lot of people just aren't.

   4. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)1:00:39

      Yeah. It's, it's hard to... It's hard to do that stuff if you're not in the routine of doing that anyway, exercise and drink water.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

      Just be healthy. Go to sleep early.

   6. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)1:00:48

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

      It's hard. It's fucking hard to do.

   8. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)1:00:50

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

      It's hard to not be self-destructive.

   10. GIGuest (unidentified, brief interjection)1:00:52

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       But with people, the crazy thing is sometimes they can do it. Sometimes you can get a guy who's 32 hooked on heroin, and then 10 years later he's running marathons and writing books and super positive, eating, eating healthy, and now he has a family and he's a different person. That does happen too. That's the thing about people. It's like some of us get through... Like, how many people run 100 miles?... not many, but I know, like, three or four.

   12. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:17

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:01:17

       You know what I mean?

   14. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:18

       Yeah. (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:01:18

       Like, it's not, it's not ... There's not that many, but some people do it. And I almost think, like, getting your shit together is a lot like running a hundred miles. Like, everyone can do it if you just force yourself to do it. But it's fucking hard to run a hundred mi- ... I can only imagine how hard. I've never done it.

   16. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:35

       Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       I would imagine fucking hard to run a hundred miles. Well, it's fucking hard to get your life together too.

   18. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:40

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:41

       Both things are hard, but some people do 'em. Less people run a hundred miles than get their shit together, though. So it seems to be easier than running a hundred miles, by my measurements.

   20. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:49

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:51

       Still hard, though. It's fucking hard. It's hard to run a mile.

   22. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:54

       For sure.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:55

       Tell people to run a mile. Most people are just like, "What? A mile? No problem." Bitch, go run a mile.

   24. THTony Hinchcliffe1:01:59

       Mm-hmm.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:02:00

       Go run a mile. Not shuffle. Not, not little ... No, I want you to move your body. I want you to spring, bounce, spring, bounce, let's keep going, one mile.

   26. THTony Hinchcliffe1:02:10

       It's hard.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:02:11

       It's not easy.

   28. THTony Hinchcliffe1:02:12

       And it changes depending on anything as easy as your last meal.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:02:16

       Yes.

   30. THTony Hinchcliffe1:02:16

       You know?

Episode duration: 2:58:20