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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1484 - Reggie Watts

Reggie Watts is a musician, singer, beatboxer, actor, and comedian. His improvised musical sets are created using only his voice, a keyboard, and a looping machine. He is also currently the announcer and band leader on The Late Late Show with James Corden. @reggiewatts

Joe RoganhostReggie WattsguestJamie Vernonhost
Jun 2, 20202h 36mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:01 – 1:20

    Apocalypse small talk: pandemics, riots, space launches, and UFO rumors

    1. JR

      No better person to be here at the end of the world than you, Reggie Watts.

    2. RW

      (laughs)

    3. JR

      No, no finer human being to share this spectacular chaotic time. Thanks for being here, brother.

    4. RW

      Thank you, man.

    5. JR

      My pleasure.

    6. RW

      Thanks, thanks for having me. I'm glad I made it.

    7. JR

      You were saying let's do all the things. Let's do the pandemic.

    8. RW

      Yep.

    9. JR

      Let's do the riots.

    10. RW

      Yep.

    11. JR

      It's, uh, everything's happening at, at the same time.

    12. RW

      Ev-, yeah.

    13. JR

      We're going to space again.

    14. RW

      We just, yeah, yeah, we're gonna g- we're in space.

    15. JR

      Yeah.

    16. RW

      We made it to space. We just need, like some kind of a, like a meteor. Like a, like a, like a meteor that's gonna be here in like f- a month.

    17. JR

      Right.

    18. RW

      That we have to decide what to do.

    19. JR

      Well, it would be, l- rioting would be out of control.

    20. RW

      Yes.

    21. JR

      Um, apparently, according to Nick Swartson, there's some crazy UFO sightings over Idaho.

    22. RW

      What?

    23. JR

      I haven't heard anything about this.

    24. RW

      Oh.

    25. JR

      But he said there's some nutty UFO sightings over Idaho. They might be coming in to end this experiment. They might be like, "You fucking crazy chimps."

    26. RW

      (laughs)

    27. JR

      "You sh- (laughs) we, we tried, we tried to let you guys sort it out, but you're not sorting out shit. You guys are getting worse."

    28. RW

      I, I know. As, you know, someone was ... I f- remember I was, like asked a question, like, "What do you think humanity will ha-" Like on, if there was like on a gravestone, what would humanities, like say on, on ... What, what would it say on humanities gravestone? And I said, um, "Well, we tried."

    29. JR

      (laughs)

    30. RW

      (laughs)

  2. 1:20 – 5:53

    Monkey intelligence rabbit hole: bartering, motorcycle videos, and tool use

    1. JR

      It's such a strange time, man. And it keeps getting stranger. It's like, did you see that in India, the monkey stole the Coronavirus samples-

    2. RW

      Yes, a gang.

    3. JR

      ... from the lab? (laughs)

    4. RW

      Yes. So, like a gang of monkeys that were like, "Give me that."

    5. JR

      (laughs)

    6. RW

      And they gave it to him. Uh, but the, uh, the funny thing is they didn't get into it, so they actually were to ke- they were able to keep the specimens intact.

    7. JR

      Oh, really?

    8. RW

      Which I thought was kind of in- crazy. Yeah.

    9. JR

      Oh. What did the ... I wonder what the monkeys thought it was?

    10. RW

      I don't know. They were probably just like, "Well, the way they're holding it looks important. I better take it."

    11. JR

      Yeah, well they do that apparently, and then you can give them food and they'll give it back to you. They'll make deals.

    12. RW

      Whoa.

    13. JR

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    14. RW

      Oh, they'll barter?

    15. JR

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. They make deals.

    16. RW

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      Depending on the monkeys, depending on the territory.

    18. RW

      Sure.

    19. JR

      But if they're used to deals with people.

    20. RW

      That's so amazing.

    21. JR

      Yeah. Oh, they're so smart, man.

    22. RW

      Yeah, I know.

    23. JR

      They're like really dumb people.

    24. RW

      Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (laughs) .

    25. JR

      You know?

    26. RW

      ... which is saying a lot.

    27. JR

      It's crazy.

    28. RW

      (laughs) Like dumb people.

    29. JR

      Because they'll fucking ... Did you see the one where the monkey ran, uh, used the motorcycle, and, uh, rode up to the baby and stole the baby?

    30. RW

      What?

  3. 5:53 – 9:48

    Talking to animals, Koko, and the eerie edges of human–primate overlap

    1. JR

      What's gonna happen if they start talking to us?

    2. RW

      I don't know. But you know, someti- we're gonna figure out some kind of a computer that's able to like read every tiny micro movement and interpret it-

    3. JR

      Right.

    4. RW

      ... into words.

    5. JR

      Right.

    6. RW

      You know, and they'll be like, "Mood," and then like, "Words."

    7. JR

      Gestures. Yeah.

    8. RW

      And like, "Oh, uh, I think it's saying this." And it's just gonna get better and better and better.

    9. JR

      Well, what was that gorilla that they taught sign language? Was her name-

    10. RW

      Hmm.... was that Jane, Jane Goodall that... Or does she's the one... She was the one and she used sign language with, uh, primates I think.

    11. JR

      Yeah, there was... But there was one that was really good at it, and th- this-

    12. RW

      Oh, in the-

    13. JR

      This-

    14. RW

      ... in the zoo?

    15. JR

      ... gorilla, I don't know if it was a-

    16. RW

      Was it?

    17. JR

      ... in the zoo or if it was in some sort of a research center.

    18. RW

      I see.

    19. JR

      But there was one gorilla that could really talk up a storm. Like had, like, f- pretty ex-

    20. JV

      Koko.

    21. JR

      Koko, that's right.

    22. RW

      Oh, yeah, Koko, that's right.

    23. JR

      Yeah.

    24. RW

      Yes.

    25. JR

      It had conversations with sign language.

    26. RW

      Whew, that's so heavy.

    27. JR

      (gasps)

    28. JV

      Robin Williams hung out with him.

    29. RW

      I know.

    30. JR

      Yeah, look at this. Oh, Robin Williams hung out with her? Whoa.

  4. 9:48 – 11:29

    Evolution, aliens, and panspermia: are mushrooms from space?

    1. JR

      Yeah, super strange. But I mean, you gotta think if human beings they think in this form that we're at, we've only been around in this form for somewhere in the neighborhood of 250,000 to 450,000 years or something like that. They don't-

    2. RW

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      ... really know, but I think on the short end, it's like quarter million years.

    4. RW

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      That's not that long.

    6. RW

      Oh, no. I mean it's weird if you look at the evolutionary, like, the lines, we just go... (clicks tongue)

    7. JR

      Yeah.

    8. RW

      It's just a departure.

    9. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    10. RW

      Something, something happened.

    11. JR

      Aliens.

    12. RW

      I know. I personally, you know-

    13. JR

      It's my favorite thing to think about.

    14. RW

      It's my 90%.

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. RW

      I always go to the 90%. I'm 10% wrong-

    17. JR

      Yeah.

    18. RW

      ... but I'm also 90% pro- pro- probably.

    19. JR

      Yeah.

    20. RW

      I mean-

    21. JR

      When I'm high, I'm 100%.

    22. RW

      Yeah, something, something alien. I mean, mushrooms are aliens, you know.

    23. JR

      Yeah, I think so.

    24. RW

      You know, they're, they've probably came from other places in the universe. There's probably a, a bunch of life, lichens, you know-

    25. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    26. RW

      ... that are, like, hybrid fun- fungus and, um, molds, you know, that, that work synergistically. Whatever, who knows? I mean-

    27. JR

      Well, psilocybin can survive, the spores can survive in a vacuum, so they can-

    28. RW

      Oh, really?

    29. JR

      ... they can survive in the vacuum of space.

    30. RW

      Oh, man.

  5. 11:29 – 14:27

    Tardigrades and existential dread: microscopic weirdness and human experimentation

    1. RW

      Yeah. I mean 'cause water bears survive in space as well.

    2. JR

      Yep, yes.

    3. RW

      And those are, like, more complex.

    4. JR

      They're weird. Those tardigrades?

    5. RW

      Yeah, yeah.

    6. JR

      What a weird-looking fucking animal that thing is.

    7. RW

      I know. It's just like a, uh, I, you know... It's, it's the stuff that you don't wanna look too much at when you are tripping because it gives m- it gives me existential dread 'cause-

    8. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    9. RW

      ... then I'm like, I'm like I don't know what I am anymore.

    10. JR

      (laughs)

    11. RW

      I don't know what any of us-

    12. JR

      Look at its face.

    13. RW

      ... are.

    14. JR

      Look at that tardigrade's face.

    15. RW

      I mean it's so awesome. It's such a... It, uh, looks like it's made of, like, cardboard, you know. Like someone, like, shaped it-

    16. JR

      Right.

    17. RW

      ... with, like, paper mache.

    18. JR

      Or velvet.

    19. RW

      Yeah, or velvet. (laughs)

    20. JR

      Like a velvet balloon.

    21. RW

      It's (sighs) it's just an amaz- Yeah, I mean life is-

    22. JR

      It's got, like, a buzzsaw tube for a nose.

    23. RW

      Yeah, it's-

    24. JR

      Like its mouth, it's like what a fucking freaky looking nose.

    25. RW

      I know.

    26. JR

      Mouth. What is it, a mouth, I guess?

    27. RW

      How does it sense? How does it even sense? It's like a guess it just must be moving and probably-... I guess, smelling nutrients or something.

    28. JR

      And nothing kills them other than, like, squashing them, right?

    29. RW

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      They're really, really, really small.

  6. 14:27 – 16:58

    Reggie’s background: interracial parents, Montana upbringing, and identity navigation

    1. RW

      I mean, yeah. I mean, that's kind of goes, like, to, like, what's happening, like, now even, like, with all these riots and protests and all this stuff. It's like, you know, I was talking to a friend about it, um, uh, my drummer, Guillermo. Grew up similarly, like, mostly white culture, had parent- I mean, I, uh, I'm half white, half Black, so I have my French mom, um, and my, my African American dad who is from Cleveland, Ohio. And so the mixture of the two, uh, plus the fact that they were married in 1967, '68, and in the United States it still wasn't legal-

    2. JR

      Whoa.

    3. RW

      ... to marry interracially. So they were married-

    4. JR

      That's during my lifetime.

    5. RW

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      How crazy is that? If you wanna he- talk about-

    7. RW

      It's insane.

    8. JR

      ... the history of racism-

    9. RW

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      ... during my lifetime-

    11. RW

      Yes.

    12. JR

      ... it was not legal for African Americans to marry white people.

    13. RW

      That's, that's correct. Yeah.

    14. JR

      (whistles)

    15. RW

      Yeah. And also, and then the Chinese had their own, their own pathway too. They, they had to, like, I think they were later. But-

    16. JR

      After that, huh?

    17. RW

      I think so, yeah.

    18. JR

      Wow.

    19. RW

      I think so. Um, but there's a, it's just, like, you know, all that stuff when I think about, like, (sighs) how much, like, went on and to, to get me to a point at which I can just be chill and be like, "Oh, hey, what's up?" You know? Like-

    20. JR

      Wow.

    21. RW

      ... "Uh, I'm gonna go buy a snack now." Um, I have to, like, have to think about that 'cause it's, um-

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. RW

      You know, my mom reminds me all the time thankfully 'cause I tend to operate from, like, I'm a human first and my characteristics and my character and the way that I treat other people is the primary thing that I'm working from. And I'm aware of, that I look a certain way that might trigger certain people. But that's not how I oper- I don't operate from that. I go for the character first. Then if I start to detect there's something else happening, then I can modulate and figure something out.

    24. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    25. RW

      But I don't want to constantly assume, um, which growing up in Montana, I would've blown, I would've exploded if that was the way-

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. RW

      ... I was doing stuff. 'Cause most of the time Montanans, even if they're kind of, "I'm uncomfortable with a Black person," even if that was the case and I come up and I'm, I'm having conversation with them and after a while, they're like, "Oh, that's cool. Oh, you helped me with my thing. Oh, yeah, thanks for, lot for... Oh, that's cool." And then we're just kind of getting along and they didn't even realize it. It's like a sneak attack. And-

    28. JR

      What part of Montana did you grow up in?

    29. RW

      I grew up in Great Falls.

    30. JR

      Um, where's that, what's that near? What's a big city that's near?

  7. 16:58 – 20:08

    Military family and citizenship: Europe childhood, Montana choice, and becoming American

    1. JR

      Were you there because of someone in your family who was in the military?

    2. RW

      Yeah, my dad, yeah. My dad was, uh, a two-time Vietnam vet, was first was in the army, then he left the army after four years and then applied with the air force. Um, and then-

    3. JR

      He went back.

    4. RW

      ... and got in the air force and they sent him back again.

    5. JR

      Holy shit.

    6. RW

      Which was kind of crazy. But then, uh, he survived it, you know, uh, moved to Fra- or moved to a base in Germany because they were decommissioning... Remember like in France we had bases, the United States had bases.

    7. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    8. RW

      And, uh, then Charles de Gaulle at the time was like, "Uh, we don't want your bases in here anymore."

    9. JR

      All your bases belong to us.

    10. RW

      All your bases belong to us. Yes.

    11. JR

      (laughs)

    12. RW

      We will absorb your bases. And, and the United States is like, "Oh, no, we'll get outta there first." And we're like, "Okay." But yeah, so he was helping to decommission a base. That's how he met my mom.

    13. JR

      Oh, wow.

    14. RW

      Yeah. And his name is Charles and they met in a bar called The Charlie Bar, which I thought was kind of-

    15. JR

      Oh, wow.

    16. RW

      ... funny.

    17. JR

      And then just decided to go to Montana because the base was there?

    18. RW

      No. Well, uh, he, we were stationed for a second... We went all over Europe. So I was born in Stuttgart, then we moved around, uh, S- uh, Spain, um, Italy, I think. Yeah, Spain and Italy. And then when I was four years old, uh, they, we had a choice of two places to go to and they picked Montana because Montana had better, had a better school system or something at the time. And then I moved there when I was four. And I wasn't even a citizen. I was a citizen of nothing until I was four years old.

    19. JR

      Oh, wow.

    20. RW

      Or five years old. Yeah, so I was a non-citizen.

    21. JR

      How weird is that?

    22. RW

      It's really weird.

    23. JR

      But it's not weird.

    24. RW

      I- It's, it's, it is weird. It's not, yeah, it's not weird because of the circumstances it makes sense.

    25. JR

      Well, it's not weird because you're a human being on earth.

    26. RW

      Sure.

    27. JR

      It's weird that you have to, like, be assigned a patch of dirt-

    28. RW

      I know.

    29. JR

      ... that you're, you know?

    30. RW

      I know. I know. Well-

  8. 20:08 – 26:21

    Guns, rights, and reality: why liberals suddenly want firearms

    1. JR

      Well, you're, you're an unusual guy in that you're very left wing like me, but you're also very second amendment, pro-Second Amendment-

    2. RW

      For sure.

    3. JR

      ... like me.

    4. RW

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      You know, like, I find like you and I have very big parallels on that.

    6. RW

      That's, that's true. Yeah.

    7. JR

      Like, you know, all for everyone's rights, like for everything. I mean, just, I want people to be free.

    8. RW

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      To do whatever.

    10. RW

      Yep.

    11. JR

      But when shit like this goes down and people are just randomly lighting targets on fire and, you know, and-

    12. RW

      I know.

    13. JR

      ... smashing windows and stealing things and knocking cars over and pulling people outta trucks, now you understand that the veneer of civilization is very thin.

    14. RW

      Yes.

    15. JR

      And the chaos of being is very deep. And it's, I don't ever wanna have to use a gun ever-

    16. RW

      No, no.

    17. JR

      ... by a human being ever-

    18. RW

      No.

    19. JR

      ... in my life if I-

    20. RW

      No.

    21. JR

      ... if I make it to the grave and never have encountered anyone that I, I needed to shoot to protect my or my, my loved ones' lives, I'll be a happy person.

    22. RW

      Yes, of course.

    23. JR

      But I'd be much happier if I get to make that choice. You know?

    24. RW

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      And I get to, I have the opportunity or the ability to protect myself or to protect someone I care about.

    26. RW

      Well, I mean, it's like, it depends on the climate that you're... You know, we live in a climate that is like, for very, so many reasons have we've gotten to this point at which essentially I could just say a blank, the blanket blame goes to capitalism in general. I mean, I'm sure like you talk about this on the, on the show a lot. And capitalism in its most fundamental state is just essentially trade. It's what humans did at a... You know, you set up a fruit stand and like someone's got bread and someone's got... You know, and you, you trade and then there's kind of like an understood value for things. And on a basic level, it's just kind of what we do as human beings. We barter, we trade, things like that. But then you flash forward and you like overlay complexity over complexity, over complexity that is then guided by people who are like, "Oh, I can game the system a little bit more. Oh, I can game the system a little bit more." And now you get all these hoarders and hoarders and people and choke points of resources, right?

    27. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    28. RW

      So then they're, they're kind of dictating the value, blah, blah, blah, blah. Same thing goes with the arms. Uh, you know, uh, it's like, yeah, I, I enjoy... The reason why I enjoy my ability to have a firearm is because I respect their power. Um, I'm eng- I'm an engineered-minded person, so I like the engineering and the craftsmanship behind it, and I like the responsibility and the safety factor of it, that people take it seriously. When I grew up, people were really adamant about the safety of guns. Like everything that, whenever I touched a gun, looked at a gun before you pick it up, they'd be like, "Never put your finger on the trigger. Never point it at anybody unless you plan on firing it." Um, all the things that we all hear about, uh, uh, gun owners are supposed to be taught. And so growing up with guns, I didn't really fear them. They were just a thing, you know. And my, my whole mom's side of the family was all, uh, police, police people. And my dad was a military policeman. He was in the military. So, you know, guns, like, that was just a part of the thing. Farmers, hunting, all that stuff. Great Falls, same thing. Growing up over my friend's house seeing a, a deer hung at, strung up, you know, in the rafters with a bunch of cardboard on the ground, you know, getting ready to be processed. All of that stuff. And for me, I came back to guns like-

    29. JR

      (laughs)

    30. RW

      ... maybe like 10 years ago or something like that, um, because I wanted to... I was interested in training and overcoming my fear of handguns and, um. And so that fascination was great and went to Montana and my experiment was like, "How long will it take me to get a handgun?" You know? And I walked into a sporting goods store. Um, one of my, one of my favorites. Walked in, timed it 20 minutes. I walked out-

  9. 26:21 – 39:48

    Open carry vs conceal carry, rubber bullets, and policing protest crowds

    1. RW

      I know. And, and I get... And, you know, and, and it's so funny because that's why, like, whenever I talk... I've got a bunch of friends, they, they conceal carry all the time for their professions in Great Falls. You know, I'm sitting down with them. They've got a firearm on them. I never feel like nervous or anything like that, but, and, but they're highly opinionated about people who open carry.

    2. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    3. RW

      People who open carry, they're always like, those people are... Almost always, uh, conceal carry permit people will always say that those, they don't like those people because it's, you have a weapon that's visible and it doesn't have a fancy biometric lock on it. There's nothing. It's like, if you're in a situation that someone walks up behind you and takes your gun, they just-

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. RW

      Now they've got a gun and you just told everybody, you just shown everybody that you have-

    6. JR

      Right.

    7. RW

      ... a firearm. And so, there's this weird thing about open carry that conceal carry people are like, "This is ridiculous." Well, you can do it if it's legal in your state, certainly. Is it a good decision? I don't, I don't, I don't think so.

    8. JR

      It's probably not a good decision to do it when you just go into Walgreens, but-

    9. RW

      That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

    10. JR

      ... it, it probably exists so that no one can ever infringe upon your rights to have one in any capacity. So if you're-

    11. RW

      Sure.

    12. JR

      You know what I'm saying? It's like it's not a thing where you wanna do all the time, but if you, if some shit goes down and you have a gun outside of your house, the, the law should be, you could do whatever the fuck you want. Like, you, the law says you're allowed to open carry, so you can have this gun outside your house. It doesn't mean go to the movies with a fucking AK-47 strapped to your chest.

    13. RW

      Yeah, which people do.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. RW

      And, and I, and I get it. And I, and the whole thing about like the gun issue is that it needs to start somewhere, and it should start at education.

    16. JR

      Yes.

    17. RW

      You know?

    18. JR

      Education is the, that's the key, right?

    19. RW

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      Like, and, and some people are great at it. Most people that I know that are into guns are very into the safety aspect of it and they understand it and it's-

    21. RW

      Yeah, you have to.

    22. JR

      ... very important to them. Yeah, but it's one of those things where first of all, here's what's fucking weird. I know so many people that want a gun now. So many people that are asking for-

    23. RW

      There are s-

    24. JR

      ... all these liberals.

    25. RW

      So many liberal friends of mine are asking me.

    26. JR

      Oh.

    27. RW

      They're like, "I know you have a gun."

    28. JR

      (laughs)

    29. RW

      They're like, "What is it taking them?" I'm like, "Wow, cool."

    30. JR

      I was talking to two different friends who have had friends ask them if they can borrow a gun. Like, you can't loan someone a gun, you fucks.

  10. 39:48 – 51:02

    Bricks, bait cars, and agent provocateurs: how protests get hijacked

    1. JR

      Have you seen these bricks that people have been finding at all these different sites where people are protesting?

    2. RW

      Uh-uh.

    3. JR

      These organized stacks of bricks.

    4. RW

      No.

    5. JR

      That, yeah, man. Look, this is, I'm gonna send, Jamie, I'm gonna send you one that Eddie sent me that's-

    6. RW

      Who do you think is putting that?

    7. JR

      That's the question, right? It's like who is, who is putting that? Is it Antifa? Is it the cops? It's, is it someone who wants someone to throw a brick so that they can impart martial law? Like, what is it?

    8. RW

      Yeah. It, I, you know, my, my brain always goes to conspiratorial elements.

    9. JR

      Here it is, "Mysterious brick piles appear throughout major protest cities." I mean these are the-

    10. RW

      Wow.

    11. JR

      ... these are bricks that are appearing that don't have a reason to be there. Jamie, I'm gonna s- send you this video that, uh, Eddie sent me, because this is, I'll, uh, I'll air drop it to you, buddy.

    12. RW

      God, man. It's-

    13. JV

      Is it the car too? The bait car they said in, uh, Long Beach yesterday?

    14. RW

      Yes. Yes.

    15. JV

      They left a car out there.

    16. RW

      Really?

    17. JR

      And they left an old, shitty car.

    18. JV

      Like, who leaves a fucking free car out for people to just take to-

    19. JR

      A free police car.

    20. JV

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      So they left an old, shitty police car out there and then on top of that, this, uh, this old... Why is this not...

    22. NA

      Well, if you look at this shit.

    23. JR

      Okay, Jamie, I'm air dropping it to you right now. So this old, shitty police car and then these three ... You have all these protesters and then these three people move in a very organized fashion. And there's a guy who made a video about it. Have you seen the video, Jamie, where the guy breaks down these-

    24. RW

      Wow.

    25. JR

      ... the Antifa? Have you seen that? I'll send you the video.

    26. JV

      No, this is weird.

    27. JR

      'Cause... What's that?

    28. JV

      I never saw this.

    29. JR

      Yeah. Okay, put it up on the screen-

    30. JV

      Yeah, I'm trying to.

  11. 51:02 – 59:51

    Perfect storm politics: 2008 fallout, pandemic shutdowns, and leadership failure

    1. JR

      It's also, I think, well, this, what we're dealing with right now is really the perfect storm. Okay? You have a bunch of pieces in place. First of all, there's a lot of people that never really recovered from the 2008 crisis, right?

    2. RW

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JR

      And so people are very upset.... that the bankers and the, the, these subprime mortgage loans and the housing crisis and everything went chaotic. People lost shit tons of money. And then all of a sudden, you have this pandemic. And the pandemic comes along and people cannot work. So for the first time ever, through no fault of your own-

    4. RW

      Mm-hmm.

    5. JR

      ... you literally can't work for months and months at a time. There is a staggering number of people right now that are in desperate states. They're-

    6. RW

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      ... they're in a terrible position financially. They're about to lose their home, they're about to lose their car, they're about to... They don't know what the fuck they're gonna do to feed themselves.

    8. RW

      Yep.

    9. JR

      And then you get this murder.

    10. RW

      Yep.

    11. JR

      And the murder just lights all this dry wood.

    12. RW

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      And then everybody says, "Look, these people are all full of shit. Donald Trump's full of shit. Nancy Pelosi's full of shit. They're all monsters. It's all bull. Gavin Newsom's full of shit. Let's fucking burn it down."

    14. RW

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      "Let's steal, let's smash." And that's taking a part... Th- that's, that's, that's happening while these peaceful protests are happening, all the while people just got done watching the Joker. So the Joker-

    16. RW

      Yes, I know.

    17. JR

      ... which is this fucking billion dollar movie where this guy kills everybody and burns it to the ground, shoots people on TV. And here's the problem, you kinda cheer for him. You kinda cheer for him.

    18. RW

      Of course.

    19. JR

      If this was a movie with a bunch of people who are like, "Look, we're gonna fucking end this corrupt system of capitalism," start smashing windows and burning things, part of you would be going, "Hmm, let's see how this turns out."

    20. RW

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      "How is this gonna turn out? This is kind of an interesting choice."

    22. RW

      Mm-hmm.

    23. JR

      Like, "Wow, these guys are getting radical. Do they have a plan?" But then if the movie, in the movie, like if you saw these pallets of bricks just mysteriously appearing at these areas where people are scheduled to protest and where these, uh, these marches are supposed to go by, you're like, "Hey, what is... What the fuck is going on here?"

    24. RW

      Yeah. It's, it's... There's something else at play that's, like, trying to, like, push it over into that fantasy, to move it from the fantasy into the reality.

    25. JR

      And my left-wing friends think it's right-wing people-

    26. RW

      Uh-huh.

    27. JR

      ... that are agent provocateurs, that are trying to start this sort of chaotic scene so that the military can be called in, which is what essentially Trump apparently did today.

    28. RW

      Oh, yes. Yeah.

    29. JR

      Yeah. Apparently, w- Jamie, what did... W- why is everybody saying that it's martial law? Is that something that happened after his speech?

    30. RW

      Well, he-

  12. 59:51 – 1:11:40

    World leaders as fighters: duels, Putin’s judo, and the stolen Super Bowl ring story

    1. JR

      That would be a great episode of Black Mirror.

    2. RW

      Oh my God, yeah. I know, right?

    3. JR

      That'd be a great ... It would have to be like a guy who's like, uh, a guy who he's insulted but that's like unassuming who fucks him up. You know who it'd have to be? It'd have to be Justin Trudeau 'cause he's like-

    4. RW

      (laughs)

    5. JR

      ... Justin Trudeau's like- He would hate that. ... the typical s- social justice warrior guy.

    6. RW

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      And he's a handsome fellow with a beautiful thick head of hair.

    8. RW

      Yeah, if, uh ... (laughs)

    9. JR

      If all of a sudden Trump wakes up and he's in, like, MMA shorts-

    10. RW

      Yes.

    11. JR

      ... with his, his big man boobs.

    12. RW

      Yeah, totally. (laughs) And they put him in, like, they put in the mouth guard and they're like, "Okay, so this is what you're gonna do." He's like, "What am I?"

    13. JR

      "What am I? What am I?"

    14. RW

      (laughs) Justin Trudeau's like ... (laughs)

    15. JR

      Yeah.

    16. RW

      They're just like massaging him.

    17. JR

      Trudeau's stretching and warming up.

    18. RW

      Stretching. (laughs) Totally. Doing all these crazy kicks.

    19. JR

      He starts fucking him up.

    20. RW

      I mean-

    21. JR

      Oh, no. Better yet, it would be a woman.

    22. RW

      Oh, that would be-

    23. JR

      Woman.

    24. RW

      ... that would be amazing.

    25. JR

      Yeah, some badass woman who fucks him up.

    26. RW

      Yeah. Yep.

    27. JR

      Some woman president of like Nigeria or some shit.

    28. RW

      Totally.

    29. JR

      Starts kicking his ass.

    30. RW

      Oh my God, and making fun of him while she's fighting him and totally ... I mean, that's the thing. It's like, you know, I think we ... (sighs) It would just, it'd just be good to have that.

Episode duration: 2:36:05

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