Joe Rogan Experience #1491 - Bill Burr

1. 0:01 – 1:09

   Becoming a two-kid dad: SUVs, car seats, and Tesla “dancing” doors

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Hello, family man.

   2. BBBill Burr0:02

      Hello, sir.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      Good to see you, brother.

   4. BBBill Burr0:03

      Good to see you too.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      (laughs)

   6. BBBill Burr0:05

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      We were just talking about, uh, like you have two kids now. You have a real family and you gotta get an SUV.

   8. BBBill Burr0:11

      Yeah. Oh, yeah, we had something but it just... Once you get the two car seats in the back and then-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Mm-hmm.

   10. BBBill Burr0:17

       ... you know, with all the shit for the kids and then all the shit your wife has, all of a sudden it's just like, oh, I now understand. Remember the Suburban?

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       Yep.

   12. BBBill Burr0:23

       Which was a long, like blazer?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       Mm-hmm.

   14. BBBill Burr0:25

       And you'd look at that thing like, who the fuck needs all of that? Unless you're like homeless and that's where you live. But then you're like, oh, I get it. Again if you have three, four kids, yeah, you definitely need one.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       You definitely need one. They always bring a bunch of shit with them too. They wanna bring stuff.

   16. BBBill Burr0:39

       Oh, yeah?

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       So you have to have... Yeah.

   18. BBBill Burr0:40

       Oh, boy.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       You have to have room for a toy or this or that. Those Tesla ones you were talking about, those are great. The, the X with the crazy doors.

   20. BBBill Burr0:47

       Yeah, the Lambo doors.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Yeah, those are dope. You ever seen them dance?

   22. BBBill Burr0:51

       No.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Tiffany Haddish had one. She was in the back of the Comedy Store and she-

   24. BBBill Burr0:54

       I heard that.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       ... and she, uh, set it to dance and she puts music on it-

   26. BBBill Burr0:58

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       ... and the wings start going up and the car starts like turning left and right. It's actually pretty badass.

   28. BBBill Burr1:03

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       It's fun.

   30. BBBill Burr1:04

       She's one of the most fun people I've ever hung out with, so I-
2. 1:09 – 2:51

   Comics during COVID: who got it, antibodies, and the return-to-normal debate

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:09

      She had the COVID. She had it. She got over it. She kick- she kicked it. She had it for a while.

   2. BBBill Burr1:14

      I'm surprised more comics didn't get it, the way we're shaking hands and meeting people after shows.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:19

      Mm-hmm.

   4. BBBill Burr1:21

      Um, yeah. I s- I got t- my wife had the kids, we had to get tested, so I was, I somehow-

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:26

      You clean?

   6. BBBill Burr1:26

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:27

      Big Jay Oakerson got it. He had it and he's clean.

   8. BBBill Burr1:30

      It feels weird to be talking about people that have it.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:32

      Yeah. I know a lot of people that got it.

   10. BBBill Burr1:35

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:35

       I know about nine.

   12. BBBill Burr1:36

       You're like naming names like Joe McCarthy over there. (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:39

       Yeah. (laughs)

   14. BBBill Burr1:41

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:41

       But they're fine now.

   16. BBBill Burr1:42

       Well, I like people who had it now 'cause they have the antibodies. They think they can like walk on fire. It's like, dude, this thing is a brand new thing. I don't know if you wanna be testing. You know, I got a buddy of mine, uh, ended up getting it and then he was just like, "Well, they... I got tested, I got the antibodies." So now I think he feels like he's bulletproof. So...

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:59

       They don't even know if you can catch it again. They don't... They really have no idea.

   18. BBBill Burr2:03

       Well, people are gonna find out.

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:04

       Yeah, we're gonna find out.

   20. BBBill Burr2:05

       Yeah, 'cause when I was driving over here, I actually got into a moderate level of traffic on the highway. Like I've noticed it's just at some point, I mean, considering people are just kinda doing what they wanna do and a lot of people were. After two weeks, everyone just sorta depending on where your ego was-

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:23

       Mm-hmm.

   22. BBBill Burr2:23

       Like, "You're not gonna tell me this is all fucking something."

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:26

       (laughs)

   24. BBBill Burr2:26

       "I'm gonna go outside." Those people, they just kept it going. So now I just feel like, well, you can't have 60% of the population go broke because less than 1% has something.

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:36

       Yeah.

   26. BBBill Burr2:37

       So I don't know. I think we're just gonna just go back. I think we're just gonna go back and if you get it, you get it.

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:44

       Yeah.

   28. BBBill Burr2:44

       And if you die, you die. And if you don't, you don't. And then eventually they're gonna get, they're gonna get something that'll slow it down or stop it or something like that.

3. 2:51 – 5:21

   Immune-system blind spots, vitamin D runs, and quarantine introspection

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:51

      Here's what slows it down, your fucking immune system. They don't tell you a goddamn thing about that. They don't tell you how to take care of your immune system. There's no word about that. "Put a mask on, wash your hands." No one's telling you, "Sleep more, drink water, take vitamins." There's none of that.

   2. BBBill Burr3:05

      Yeah. And I know this one guy who brought up vitamin D in his big podcast and then you couldn't find it anymore.

   3. JRJoe Rogan3:09

      (laughs)

   4. BBBill Burr3:09

      Dude, you're like fucking Oprah when she attacked the meat industry.

   5. JRJoe Rogan3:13

      (laughs)

   6. BBBill Burr3:13

      I just saw a clip. "Oh, this guy on Rogan." And I, of course, I didn't even research so I think who the guy was. It was just like, "Take vitamin D."

   7. JRJoe Rogan3:18

      It was a woman.

   8. BBBill Burr3:18

      A woman.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:19

      It was a woman. Yeah.

   10. BBBill Burr3:19

       That's how much I pay attention.

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:20

       (laughs)

   12. BBBill Burr3:20

       And I go to, I go to the fucking health food store, it's all gone.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:24

       (laughs)

   14. BBBill Burr3:24

       And there was some of this bootleg vitamin D, it was like vitamin D Plus. I'm like, "What? What is that?"

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:29

       (laughs)

   16. BBBill Burr3:29

       "What is that?" I know that that, that probably is gonna make me catch it. So-

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:32

       (sighs)

   18. BBBill Burr3:33

       ... I just take vitamin C and I try to get eight hours sleep a night. I- I've been, I've been doing a, a pretty good job of, uh... I'm pretty antisocial like a lot of comics, so I haven't had a problem sort of-

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:42

       Keeping away from everybody. Have you... Is it weird for you?

   20. BBBill Burr3:44

       Yeah. My wife... I, I quarantine in my house. Like my wife's, "Are you guys gonna sit down and have dinner with us?" I'm always over in the corner. (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:50

       (laughs)

   22. BBBill Burr3:51

       If I'm alone, no one can hurt me.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:53

       (laughs)

   24. BBBill Burr3:54

       (laughs) That's just leftover childhood shit.

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:59

       Uh-

   26. BBBill Burr3:59

       Just coming from a family of loners, so I-

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:01

       Do you feel weird not doing standup? What has that been like?

   28. BBBill Burr4:04

       Um, I did not miss it at all.

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:08

       Really?

   30. BBBill Burr4:08

       But I think that whenever there's something like painful in my life, I think that that's what I do is I ju- I just go, "I don't care. I don't give a fuck." It's all... I, I really learned a lot more about myself during this quiet time of not running around and going to airports and kinda sitting with myself and being like, "Wow, I thought I was way further down the road working on myself than I was." But I have a lot of fucking childhood issues left over.
4. 5:21 – 10:56

   ANTIFA, Seattle’s CHAZ/CHOP, and “mutual combat” street-fight laws

   1. BBBill Burr5:21

      So I was just sort of, you know, sitting kinda by myself like I, I, I don't know. I haven't been watching TV, like the news. You just brought up three things. "You see what's going on in Seattle with the fucking FCC?" Whatever he says, like I don't know-

   2. JRJoe Rogan5:34

      (laughs) ANTIFA.

   3. BBBill Burr5:34

      I don't even know what it is.

   4. JRJoe Rogan5:35

      (laughs)

   5. BBBill Burr5:36

      What is TIFA?

   6. JRJoe Rogan5:37

      ANTIFA.

   7. BBBill Burr5:37

      ANTIFA.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:38

      They call themselves anti-fascists. And they're... They wear masks and they carry sticks and helmets and shit and they-

   9. BBBill Burr5:46

      And intimidate people.

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:47

       Exactly. They-

   11. BBBill Burr5:48

       To stop fascism.

   12. JRJoe Rogan5:49

       Ex- they, they use fascism-

   13. BBBill Burr5:50

       I like it.

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:51

       ... to stop fascism.

   15. BBBill Burr5:52

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan5:52

       And they blocked off, I think six blocks of Seattle and they declared it a police-free zone. They said, "This is occupied by the people of Seattle and you, you can't use money in that police-free zone."

   17. BBBill Burr6:01

       You know, Joe, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not gonna end well.

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:04

       (laughs) It's not gonna end well at all.

   19. BBBill Burr6:05

       That's-

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:06

       The only thing that's gonna keep it from ending badly is that Seattle is kind of a fucked up city. They tolerate a lot of homelessness. So Seattle's got a lot of weird laws. Like there... It's a, it's a, um-... I forget the way it's described. I think it's a mutual combat state, that's how it's described. So like if you're in front of a cop, say if, uh, say if I'm a cop and you and Jamie decide to duke it out, you could just say, "You wanna fight, motherfucker?" And he'll go, "Yeah, I wanna fight." And the cops will let you fight because it's some Wild West mining shit from like the fucking 1600s.

   21. BBBill Burr6:35

       Yeah. Settled it like men.

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:36

       They still have that in the books, yeah, but you-

   23. BBBill Burr6:37

       No lawsuits. I like it.

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:38

       You can duke it out in the middle of the street. It's very dangerous though. People getting knocked out on the street is fucking terrifying 'cause they fall and they hit their head and they go unconscious.

   25. BBBill Burr6:47

       And there's no ref to stop those last nine hammer fists.

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       Well, I think the cops are supposed to do that, the cops are supposed to act as a referee too. But there's fu- there's videos of guys getting into street fights in Seattle and cops just standing around watching. Yeah, and it's real weird. In fact, one of them-

   27. BBBill Burr7:02

       I don't have a pro- if two people are willing to do it and they, they're, uh, they know the risks, you know if you get hit you're gonna fall and crack your head on the back of the, the, the curb there, I mean...

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:13

       A lot of them are drunk though, they don't know the risks. There was one of them, this, there's this kid, uh, I think his, his last name is Fodor, uh, I think Carlos Fodor. He was a MMA fighter and he would dress up like a superhero. What... See, see if you can find out what h- do you remember his name? Anyway-

   29. BBBill Burr7:29

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:29

       ... he actually knew how to fight and he was dressed like a superhero. So he's kind of baiting people to fuck with him and he's walking on the street and these guys fuck with him-
5. 10:56 – 12:23

   Comedy clubs looted + industry “worms”: Hollywood accounting and getting robbed

   1. JRJoe Rogan10:56

      This business has always been weird like that. There's always been people-

   2. BBBill Burr10:59

      No, that's why you're the king, dude, 'cause you got outside of it, but you're totally in it and they can't, they can't get you. They can't get you. I, I, I, you know... I'm piling up some stories here being in the matrix. I won't get into them, but it's the same... It's just the same ol'... Corporations only know how to do business one fucking way and it's just-

   3. JRJoe Rogan11:20

      Well, they push their advantage. They push their advantage, they have their leverage, and they want the biggest pi- slice of the pie. That's, that's what they do.

   4. BBBill Burr11:27

      I don't have a problem with that. It's when they go beyond that and they just straight up steal.

   5. JRJoe Rogan11:30

      Are they stealing from you right now?

   6. BBBill Burr11:31

      Yeah. But everybody does. Every f- every time you get in business with, like, corporate guys, this is how it works. It's like the check... Okay, we're in business to make money from them and then you get in business with them and then the check goes to the corporate guy and then you get your cut off of his checkbook. So right there, I am immediately in a situation where there's no way I can steal from him, but he can rob me fucking blind.

   7. JRJoe Rogan11:52

      Right.

   8. BBBill Burr11:52

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan11:52

      And he can add a bunch of expenses-

   10. BBBill Burr11:53

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan11:53

       ... on the things that-

   12. BBBill Burr11:54

       Front end load expenses-

   13. JRJoe Rogan11:56

       Yes.

   14. BBBill Burr11:56

       ... to make it look like they're losing money.

   15. JRJoe Rogan11:58

       Yes.

   16. BBBill Burr11:58

       And yeah. They-

   17. JRJoe Rogan11:58

       That's Hollywood accounting.

   18. BBBill Burr11:59

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan12:00

       Yeah.

   20. BBBill Burr12:00

       No, it's stealing. It's stealing is what it is.

   21. JRJoe Rogan12:02

       Yes.

   22. BBBill Burr12:02

       They just call it Hollywood accounting.

   23. JRJoe Rogan12:03

       Yes.

   24. BBBill Burr12:03

       But it, but it's not Hollywood accounting, it's, it's corporate accounting, it's scumbag accounting. That's just... And it's how they do it and they sleep at night and then they always add, "Oh, that's over in the accounting section of the building, not over here where me and my yacht are."

   25. JRJoe Rogan12:16

       (laughs)

   26. BBBill Burr12:19

       ... I'm like artist-friendly. You know I majored in fucking liberal arts in college and it's-

6. 12:23 – 26:05

   Podcast ownership wars: managers demanding cuts, perpetuity clauses, and Spotify licensing

   1. JRJoe Rogan12:23

      Well, what was really interesting when podcasts started to take off, they started to try to get in with the old model and weasel into podcasts and, and buy pieces of podcasts. And, like if you come on my network-

   2. BBBill Burr12:37

      Oh, dude, your deal, your deal is gonna f- is... I- if you think the fucking industry's gonna sit back when they didn't get to wet their beak on that thing, I'm gonna tell every young comic when we get back to this shit, is what they're gonna do now is what the music industry did, where they sign, started signing straight across the board deals. They're gonna get some young kid who's got no power in the business and is just like, you know, "We'll help you create a podcast," you know, w- "You sign with so-and-so," blah, blah. And what they're gonna do is they're gonna own the podcast, the advertising money's gonna go to them, and they're gonna rob them fucking blind, they're gonna-

   3. JRJoe Rogan13:07

      100%.

   4. BBBill Burr13:07

      They're gonna 100%, 100% gonna fucking steal from them, rob them fucking blind, and then when they get audited and they get caught stealing, they're gonna label that kid, that young comic difficult to work with-

   5. JRJoe Rogan13:20

      (laughs)

   6. BBBill Burr13:20

      ... meaning difficult to steal from. That's-

   7. JRJoe Rogan13:22

      It's already happening.

   8. BBBill Burr13:23

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan13:24

      Uh, I know guys who, young guys, I won't name any names, but they've come up to me and go, "Hey, um, I'm signed to this management company. They wanna sign me, but they want a piece of my podcast."

   10. BBBill Burr13:34

       No.

   11. JRJoe Rogan13:34

       "They want a piece of this, and they, they want it in perpetuity."

   12. BBBill Burr13:36

       Don't... There's no reason, there's no reason.

   13. JRJoe Rogan13:38

       Yeah.

   14. BBBill Burr13:39

       You gotta tell people that too-

   15. JRJoe Rogan13:40

       Oh, I tell them.

   16. BBBill Burr13:40

       ... 'cause you're the k-... You gotta tell-

   17. JRJoe Rogan13:41

       Oh, I tell them.

   18. BBBill Burr13:42

       You gotta tell people. Do not-

   19. JRJoe Rogan13:43

       I tell them, "Don't give up anything. Don't give up anything. Don't ever. It's all you, it's all yours."

   20. BBBill Burr13:46

       'Cause they're not gonna do anything for you. They, they, what they're gonna do is move the ball quicker-

   21. JRJoe Rogan13:50

       Yeah.

   22. BBBill Burr13:50

       ... that first fucking two years, and then the rest is all gonna be you. If you just hang in there and s- and struggle a little bit, like, uh-uh. It's-

   23. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       You gotta grind. You just gotta hang in there and keep going. I mean-

   24. BBBill Burr13:59

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan13:59

       ... I, I got a lot of offers to buy half of the podcast or to buy a pi-... And I... Nothing. I wouldn't, I won't, I won't do it. I'm won-... I'll never do it. But then Spotify came along and they said, "We'll give you a licensing deal, so just put it on our network for three months-"

   26. BBBill Burr14:13

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan14:13

       "... but you still own it."

   28. BBBill Burr14:14

       Right.

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:14

       I'm like, "All right, we in." And that's, that's why we did it that way. But this, this comic that I won't name, he was telling me that his, this management company that wanted to sign him, they wanted to own a piece of his podcast forever. And I'm like, "That is fucking crazy."

   30. BBBill Burr14:25

       And what that eventually will become... Yeah, 'cause what they're gonna look at it is they're gonna make it like if you started a podcast while you were with this manager-
7. 26:05 – 29:51

   Cigars, birthdays, movie nights, and LA wildlife paranoia

   1. JRJoe Rogan26:05

      Hey, are you smoking cigars or are you done?

   2. BBBill Burr26:08

      I got, I got some cigars. I quit, but I, I, I smoke like one or two, uh, a month.

   3. JRJoe Rogan26:13

      Oh, look what you did to me.

   4. BBBill Burr26:13

      Oh, goddamn it, Joe.

   5. JRJoe Rogan26:14

      Oh, I got these from Mike Binder. They're good, too.

   6. BBBill Burr26:17

      What?

   7. JRJoe Rogan26:18

      Yes. Oh, look at that.

   8. BBBill Burr26:21

      Well, I guess I didn't quit today, did I?

   9. JRJoe Rogan26:25

      (laughs)

   10. BBBill Burr26:25

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan26:26

       Come on, Billy. Fun times.

   12. BBBill Burr26:28

       Are we doing this?

   13. JRJoe Rogan26:29

       Yes, let's do it.

   14. BBBill Burr26:30

       All right.

   15. JRJoe Rogan26:31

       Fuck it. Come on, we gotta celebrate. You got a kid.

   16. BBBill Burr26:33

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan26:33

       You have to.

   18. BBBill Burr26:34

       There you go. It was my birthday yesterday, too.

   19. JRJoe Rogan26:35

       Oh, that's right. Happy birthday.

   20. BBBill Burr26:37

       Thank you.

   21. JRJoe Rogan26:38

       You're 38 again.

   22. BBBill Burr26:39

       Uh, 52, brother.

   23. JRJoe Rogan26:40

       Holy shit, that's me too.

   24. BBBill Burr26:42

       52 pickup.

   25. JRJoe Rogan26:43

       Isn't that a weird number? Like, you, like, you say it, it doesn't seem real.

   26. BBBill Burr26:47

       Well, I think in your 50s, nothing matters until the odometer flips to 60. Then you're just like, "Fuck."

   27. JRJoe Rogan26:52

       Oh, yeah, no. 60, uh, guys in their 60s that are fucking hanging there?

   28. BBBill Burr26:55

       Is that a cutter?

   29. JRJoe Rogan26:55

       Yeah, sorry. Guys in their 60s that are hanging there-

   30. BBBill Burr26:57

       Is this the Ted Nugent one? Look at this with the fucking-
8. 29:51 – 34:10

   Promoting ‘F Is for Family’ + saving venues: Troubadour plans and comedy’s reopening

   1. BBBill Burr29:51

      Can I promote this, uh, movie?

   2. JRJoe Rogan29:53

      Yeah, F is for Family, too.

   3. BBBill Burr29:54

      F is for Family season four-

   4. JRJoe Rogan29:56

      This season.

   5. BBBill Burr29:56

      ... is coming out tomorrow. Tomorrow I got two big things coming out, and then that's it. I'm dried up. 'Cause everybody in the interview is like, "What, what's next for you after these two things?" It's like, that's it. It's, it's the pandemic, I have no-

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Are you gonna start going on the road at all?

   7. BBBill Burr30:09

      Um...

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      Clubs are opening up.

   9. BBBill Burr30:11

      Yeah. I'm gonna see how you guys do, you know?

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:14

       (laughs)

   11. BBBill Burr30:15

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:15

       Who comes back with a cough?

   13. BBBill Burr30:16

       I'll let you guys walk towards the atom bomb that they just... I mean, I got a little one at home, so I'm, I think I'm gonna chill until, like, September, unless it's just wide open. Um, by chill, I mean...... if, if things go well, I'm gonna, uh, I'm, I'm gonna try to do some shows at The Troubadour because I know that they're hurting and that's one of my favorite venues. All these bands that I love have played there, so-

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       The Troubadour on Santa Monica?

   15. BBBill Burr30:37

       Yeah, so they're kind of... They, they're in a, you know, they're in a bad way because of this, so I'm, I'm gonna try to do a little run of shows down there, you know.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       Are they available? You can do that?

   17. BBBill Burr30:46

       Not available yet, but when they are available, I'm gonna try to do like a three-night thing down there, you know, work for free, get the rust off, have people pay for tickets, buy a bunch of booze and some Troubadour T-shirts, and keep that place going, man. I-

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       Oh, that's great.

   19. BBBill Burr30:59

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       I'll do that.

   21. BBBill Burr31:00

       Yeah, well, shit-

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       I'll do that, too.

   23. BBBill Burr31:02

       Let's do it.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:02

       I'll do it, yeah. That sounds like fun.

   25. BBBill Burr31:05

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       I, I went there, uh, twice this year. I saw Everlast there and I saw Sturgill Simpson there.

   27. BBBill Burr31:09

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       They're fucking great.

   29. BBBill Burr31:09

       And Steve, Steve Martin opened for Richard Pryor there.

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       Wow.
9. 34:10 – 38:53

   Second-wave fears and the mask blowup: ‘two guys, no medical degrees’

   1. JRJoe Rogan34:10

      I'm worried about a second wave of the corona. I'm worried about them locking things down. Someone's got to step in and stop them from doing that. Next, next wave, you guys got to be proactive. You got to do something about people's immune systems, you got to lockdown old people and sick people, let re- reg- regular people do whatever the fuck they want. You can't, you can't just lock people's freedom down for something that killed a small fraction of what you thought it was going to kill. The whole thing is... It's just fucking creepy to have guys like Mayor Garcetti be in charge of telling people whether or not they get to work. Like, that's not what a governor is supposed to be.

   2. BBBill Burr34:44

      But-

   3. JRJoe Rogan34:44

      That's not what a mayor is supposed to be.

   4. BBBill Burr34:44

      They're trying... But they, they, but they're, they're trying to look out for your best interests, and trying to get 400 million people to all pull in the same direction, it's, it's fucking im- it's... You can't get 40 comics to pull in the same direction. So, like-

   5. JRJoe Rogan34:56

      But they did.

   6. BBBill Burr34:56

      They have like an impossible... Well, they did and they didn't. There was, there was people fucking right... The whole fucking time, there's been fucking assholes on my street walking around, no masks, you know, not s- quarantining like the people that come by their houses. You see the fucking, you know, the same people that were going in and out of the house who are not part of their family still going in and out of the house.

   7. JRJoe Rogan35:15

      You want people to walk down the street with a mask on?

   8. BBBill Burr35:18

      Let's not start this, Joe.

   9. JRJoe Rogan35:19

      Do you, though?

   10. BBBill Burr35:19

       Let's not start this, okay?

   11. JRJoe Rogan35:21

       Let's, let's start it.

   12. BBBill Burr35:21

       I- I don't wanna start this bullshit. I'm not gonna sit here with no medical degree, listening to you with no medical degree, with an American flag behind you, smoking a cigar, acting like we know what's up better than the CDC. All I do is I lis- I watch the news once every two weeks. I'm like, "I- i- mask or no mask? Still mask? All right, mask." That's all I give a fuck about. I don't care.

   13. JRJoe Rogan35:40

       But even they say you shouldn't wear a mask unless you're treating a coronavirus patient, the World Health Organization literally said that.

   14. BBBill Burr35:44

       Yeah, but they didn't say that initial- they didn't say it initially.

   15. JRJoe Rogan35:46

       No, they didn't.

   16. BBBill Burr35:47

       They did, and then it gradually... Then it gra-

   17. JRJoe Rogan35:49

       But they-

   18. BBBill Burr35:49

       And then, wait, wait, whoa, and then everybody wore the fucking masks. This is like rollerblading, everybody fucking rollerbladed, and then there was that one fucking homophobic joke, and then everybody acted like they never did it.

   19. JRJoe Rogan35:58

       (laughs)

   20. BBBill Burr35:58

       And then, uh, 100 million fucking rollerblades got thrown into the fucking ocean. We all wore masks, and then all of a sudden-

   21. JRJoe Rogan36:04

       I never rollerbladed.

   22. BBBill Burr36:04

       ... people are fucking sitting there... What? You don't have the body type for it, dude.

   23. JRJoe Rogan36:07

       (laughs)

   24. BBBill Burr36:07

       Your fucking knuckles would scrape on the ground. (laughs) Even with that extra two inches. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan36:14

       (laughs)

   26. BBBill Burr36:16

       I just love how wearing a mask became like this fucking, like, soft thing that you were doing, like being courteous.

   27. JRJoe Rogan36:22

       Yeah, it's for bitches.

   28. BBBill Burr36:22

       Being courteous. Why is it for bitches?

   29. JRJoe Rogan36:24

       It's just...

   30. BBBill Burr36:24

       That I know is so stupid.
10. 38:53 – 52:57

    Cable news is poison: media framing, cancel culture symmetry, and missing context

    1. BBBill Burr38:53

       Yeah, I, I don't, I don't like... you know, I'm already fucked in the head. I'm already fucked in the head. I don't need 24-hour news network. Like who's that guy on Fox News? I always joke with Neil.

    2. JRJoe Rogan39:05

       Tucker?

    3. BBBill Burr39:05

       He's got great hair but horrible points. Like if his points were as good as his hair.

    4. JRJoe Rogan39:10

       Which guy?

    5. BBBill Burr39:11

       Uh, he looks like a Kennedy. I mean, he's just... he is the white guy's white guy. He was talking about Black people going... "And when they come for you, and they will, they're gonna..." You know, it's just like, what, what are you fucking talking about?

    6. JRJoe Rogan39:22

       Is it Hannity?

    7. BBBill Burr39:23

       I don't know who he is. No, it's not Hannity.

    8. JRJoe Rogan39:24

       Not Hannity.

    9. BBBill Burr39:25

       Hannity was the guy who they, they put with that fucking... that, that, like, rooster at the end... a chick in the end of his life looking guy.

    10. JRJoe Rogan39:32

        (laughs)

    11. BBBill Burr39:32

        Like, "Here's your liberal." Dude, and all my relatives who are conservative are like, "I mean, look at him. I mean, he's so meek." It's like this thing is cast like a show.

    12. JRJoe Rogan39:41

        Yeah, who was that guy that he was with? Hannity and Colmes, remember that?

    13. BBBill Burr39:44

        Hannity and Colmes.

    14. JRJoe Rogan39:45

        And the, the one guy looked like he was on death's door and he was the liberal.

    15. BBBill Burr39:47

        Oh, he was gray.

    16. JRJoe Rogan39:48

        Yeah.

    17. BBBill Burr39:49

        He was gray. And the other guy looked like a football hero, astronaut with the square jaw.

    18. JRJoe Rogan39:52

        Yeah, big, thick face.

    19. BBBill Burr39:53

        Nice fucking head of hair.

    20. JRJoe Rogan39:54

        Yeah, nice head of hair.

    21. BBBill Burr39:54

        And the other guy with the little glasses.

    22. JRJoe Rogan39:56

        (laughs)

    23. BBBill Burr39:57

        He looked like Mr. Burns, right?

    24. JRJoe Rogan39:58

        (laughs) Yes. And he, and he had no spine. He had no... he wasn't strong arguer.

    25. BBBill Burr40:04

        Oh, he was t- he was there to... he was t- he was the Washington Generals, and the other guy was the Globetrotters. << Da-na-da-na-da-da-da-da, conservative point >>

    26. JRJoe Rogan40:12

        (laughs)

    27. BBBill Burr40:12

        And then... (laughs)

    28. JRJoe Rogan40:13

        (laughs)

    29. BBBill Burr40:13

        And then you put on CNN and you got all those fucking nitwits with The Situation Room-

    30. JRJoe Rogan40:18

        Ugh.
11. 52:57 – 56:17

    Protests and policing: separating looters from protesters and reform vs. defunding

    1. BBBill Burr52:57

       I do think getting ... Uh, talking about all these protests, I think something really positive is gonna come out of this because the fact that so many white people are also pro- ... A- and getting involved in it, and, and so many cops were vocal saying that-

    2. JRJoe Rogan53:08

       Yes.

    3. BBBill Burr53:08

       ... you know, they shouldn't do that. So I think something good is going to come out of this. I just-

    4. JRJoe Rogan53:11

       I couldn't agree more. I, I really do.

    5. BBBill Burr53:13

       I do, and I hope so too 'cause it's, it, it's been wrong for way too long. And I also hope that, uh, that a bunch of other groups don't use this as a piggyback thing to then do some other shit which will then-

    6. JRJoe Rogan53:28

       Escalate.

    7. BBBill Burr53:29

       ... will make people who want things to stay the same, they'll be able to shift focus of like ... You know, like how they try to make like the protesters and the riot- ... Like the, the looters-

    8. JRJoe Rogan53:39

       The same thing, right.

    9. BBBill Burr53:40

       ... the same people.

    10. JRJoe Rogan53:40

        Right, right.

    11. BBBill Burr53:41

        Where it's just, yeah, there's only ... Yeah, you, you did that and then at night you did this.

    12. JRJoe Rogan53:44

        No.

    13. BBBill Burr53:45

        Yeah, the way that-

    14. JRJoe Rogan53:46

        You know, yeah.

    15. BBBill Burr53:46

        So, I don't know.

    16. JRJoe Rogan53:47

        They're gonna do it anyways.

    17. BBBill Burr53:48

        I think there's, the, once the looting died down, you're seeing peaceful protests that are very encouraging. I think it's great. I really do. I mean, that downtown LA one was amazing. It's 50,000 fucking people filled the streets and no crime, there was n- ... Or very little, nothing I heard of. It was just mostly people chanting and holding signs. Yeah.

    18. JRJoe Rogan54:06

        It looked promising. Look, they gotta ... The, the, the thing that dist- uh, disturbs me is this idea that they should defund the police. You can't get rid of the police. What you need to do is spend more money and train them better and high- ... Have higher standards. And do it the way you do the military where it's very difficult to get in and you weed people out that are weak. Like, that guy was a pussy. That guy leaning on that guy's neck like that, that guy's a monster. There's no way that guy should have ever beat a cop.

    19. BBBill Burr54:30

        Yeah, 'cause he knew he was being filmed too and he just had no-

    20. JRJoe Rogan54:33

        He didn't give a fuck.

    21. BBBill Burr54:35

        Yeah, I mean, that's like ... Hands in his pockets like he was just fucking, you know, waiting for an Uber or something. Like, that makes you think-

    22. JRJoe Rogan54:42

        He's a monster.

    23. BBBill Burr54:42

        Yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan54:43

        He's a monster.

    25. BBBill Burr54:43

        Yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan54:43

        And that guy had been doing that forever. You know, there, there's new evidence that they worked together and they fought, they, they argued about the way that cop was treating the customers. They worked together as security at the same club and that cop was a fucking asshole to people at the club, and they argued about it. So, they had a personal issue.

    27. BBBill Burr55:02

        ... and there's some people that want it to be elevated to first-degree murder because of that, that he did it on purpose, that he-

    28. JRJoe Rogan55:08

        Oh, he knew...

    29. BBBill Burr55:09

        He knew that guy.

    30. JRJoe Rogan55:10

        Oh, man. I mean, it's just, yeah-
12. 56:17 – 1:16:34

    Fights, mob energy, and Boston chaos: bouncers, Bruins games, and the “wrong party” melee

    1. BBBill Burr56:17

       (laughs) You know, this reminds me a long time ago... Like, I remember talking to a security guy and he said, "The best guys are the guys that- that they deescalate it."

    2. JRJoe Rogan56:25

       Yeah. Oh, for sure.

    3. BBBill Burr56:26

       He goes, "You don't..." Because he, this guy used to put together crews of guys to, uh, I think it was for, like, rock concerts and stuff. And he said, "You didn't wanna get guys that wanted to fight. You didn't want to have those guys 'cause those guys would be a fucking headache and every night there was gonna be something and there was gonna be lawsuits." Like what- what you, what he was saying you ultimately wanted was nothing to happen.

    4. JRJoe Rogan56:47

       Yeah.

    5. BBBill Burr56:48

       So, um, I remember, because I was joking with him, I remember a long time ago, The Grill 93, this old Dick Doherty room.

    6. JRJoe Rogan56:57

       I remember that joint.

    7. BBBill Burr56:58

       So two guys were about ready to go at it in the club and the bouncer gets them outside. Okay, and this guy's trying to say his point of view and he- he put his hand on his shoulder. He goes, he goes, uh, he goes, "No, all I was trying to do..." and he barely- barely went like that on his shirt. And he goes, "Okay, first of all, don't touch me." That's what the bouncer said. And just immediately it was here and then it became... Then it went to here and then those two guys started yelling at each other and then w- uh, within I don't know what the fuck, he just twisted the guy up and took him out. And I don't... I forget who the fuck I was with. We were fucking dying laughing. (laughs) It just became a catchphrase between us where he would come by, "Hey, Bill, you working this weekend?" "Okay, first of all, don't touch me."

    8. JRJoe Rogan57:34

       (laughs)

    9. BBBill Burr57:34

       Just, you just, you immediately just escalate it where it just becomes a what the fuck? And then, "First of all, don't touch me," from 90% of guys is immediately gonna put you in your ego where it's like, "Oh, fuck. Now- now he's on top of me and I'm the bitch. I gotta- I gotta at least get a little, uh, get at his eyebrow level. I have to come back with something else." It was inevitable. The second he said that, "First of all, don't touch me," I did like the three slide steps down 'cause I learned that young watching fights, you know, you don't want to have a really good seat 'cause it's like a tornado. You don't know where it's gonna go- (laughs)

    10. JRJoe Rogan58:08

        (laughs)

    11. BBBill Burr58:08

        And you think, you think you're like 20 feet away. I, it happened, that happened to me at a Bruins game, the old Boston Garden and it was like one of those, you know, just everybody smoking. I, uh, you probably couldn't smoke in the Garden at that point. Every... I just remember like, like smoky bars and shit. So we went in there and everybody was hammered. I was hammered drinking, like, fucking Hefner reference, remember The Green Death, right?

    12. JRJoe Rogan58:25

        Mm-hmm.

    13. BBBill Burr58:26

        Like, "Dude, this is like 6% alcohol." So, um, some, like one of those two rows of fans fighting, which is always great 'cause like the people that are a row up are just throwing down- (laughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan58:36

        (laughs)

    15. BBBill Burr58:36

        ... and these guys are fucking pounding. There's always a loafer laying there, right? Uh, Mike Milbury picking it up. So I remember the cops ran up there and I ran up too to watch the fight and they started grabbing guys and coming down the stairs and it was the Boston Guard and there was nowhere to go and I just remembered this big cop bounding down the stairs. He literally had a handful of this guy's neck. It was like his whole neck and his jugular and this guy was doing- (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan59:02

        (laughs)

    17. BBBill Burr59:02

        ... colors. I just remember he was going, "Try to, uh, try to push me down the stairs! Try to push me down the stairs!" And he came down like and I was trying to get out of the way and I figure, I think the guy who he had grabbed, like his knee fucking hit me in the back, you know, I just, I just got caught by the debris of this guy running by and that's when I kind of learned like, uh, you know, when... So how to watch a fight, which you watch a fight and you're looking at your exits 'cause like I said, it's like you don't know where it's gonna fucking go and, uh, I had learned that lesson so when I saw that guy say that, uh, "First of all, don't touch me," I was just like, "Okay, sliding over here. Let some other people settle in in front of me. I can do..." Uh, I liked it when that-

    18. JRJoe Rogan59:37

        Yeah, that's the same as if... Yeah, you want to be above, slightly above, looking down at- at all the altercations. You get a better viewpoint there anyway.

    19. BBBill Burr59:46

        Yeah, I suck at it though. I- I- I stopped fighting in, like, junior high. That was it. I just, I knew... I- I- I mean, I just knew. I was like, "This is not my thing." I can't slip a punch. I am slow as shit.

    20. JRJoe Rogan59:58

        (laughs)

    21. BBBill Burr59:58

        (laughs) I got a big head. I got a huge target. This is not gonna go three rounds. It's just not. Um, I fought up until like sixth... Around sixth grade, I think I probably had my last one and then all of a sudden kids started to get 120, 130, 140 pounds and there started being blood and- and-

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

        (laughs)

    23. BBBill Burr1:00:18

        ... fucking people missing a couple days of school after a beat down.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

        Yeah.

    25. BBBill Burr1:00:20

        I was just like, "You know what? Okay. I think I'll be the funny guy." (laughs)

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

        (laughs) It's weird how things go sideways like that when there's a- there's like a feeling in the air. When- whenever chaos breaks out like that and it's a real melee, there's a feeling in the air, like it's like you- you feel it. It's like, "Oh, this is nuts." Like this is, this is really dangerous.

    27. BBBill Burr1:00:41

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

        Like there's a- a- a- a mob mentality feeling that you get that's real weird when things go crazy.

    29. BBBill Burr1:00:48

        I- I remember it took me, uh, having to leave Boston for about seven years. I was gone for seven years before I finally walked into a bar and just felt the normal energy of... But I think the city's changed a lot but like that, sort of that tail end of the-... the craziness. I walked into a bar, and you could just feel it. It's like, "Somebody's gonna get suckered." Like-

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

        Yeah.

Episode duration: 3:02:09