Joe Rogan Experience #1491 - Bill Burr

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Hello, family man. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Hello, family man.

   2. BBBill Burr0:02

      Hello, sir.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      Good to see you, brother.

   4. BBBill Burr0:03

      Good to see you too.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      (laughs)

   6. BBBill Burr0:05

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      We were just talking about, uh, like you have two kids now. You have a real family and you gotta get an SUV.

   8. BBBill Burr0:11

      Yeah. Oh, yeah, we had something but it just... Once you get the two car seats in the back and then-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Mm-hmm.

   10. BBBill Burr0:17

       ... you know, with all the shit for the kids and then all the shit your wife has, all of a sudden it's just like, oh, I now understand. Remember the Suburban?

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       Yep.

   12. BBBill Burr0:23

       Which was a long, like blazer?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       Mm-hmm.

   14. BBBill Burr0:25

       And you'd look at that thing like, who the fuck needs all of that? Unless you're like homeless and that's where you live. But then you're like, oh, I get it. Again if you have three, four kids, yeah, you definitely need one.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       You definitely need one. They always bring a bunch of shit with them too. They wanna bring stuff.

   16. BBBill Burr0:39

       Oh, yeah?

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       So you have to have... Yeah.

   18. BBBill Burr0:40

       Oh, boy.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       You have to have room for a toy or this or that. Those Tesla ones you were talking about, those are great. The, the X with the crazy doors.

   20. BBBill Burr0:47

       Yeah, the Lambo doors.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Yeah, those are dope. You ever seen them dance?

   22. BBBill Burr0:51

       No.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Tiffany Haddish had one. She was in the back of the Comedy Store and she-

   24. BBBill Burr0:54

       I heard that.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       ... and she, uh, set it to dance and she puts music on it-

   26. BBBill Burr0:58

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       ... and the wings start going up and the car starts like turning left and right. It's actually pretty badass.

   28. BBBill Burr1:03

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       It's fun.

   30. BBBill Burr1:04

       She's one of the most fun people I've ever hung out with, so I-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Uh-huh. Yeah. …

   1. BBBill Burr15:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Uh-huh. Yeah.

   3. BBBill Burr15:00

      Managers will start, um, agents will start podcast networks because there's nobody regulating them to not do that anymore, it seems.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      I got an offer just five years ago from a company that was a radio company that wanted 50% of the podcast. They were gonna give me no money, they wanted 50% of the podcast just to be associated with them. And they're like, "We're gonna pool together all these advertisers and it's gonna help your revenue."

   5. BBBill Burr15:22

      No.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:23

      50%. So that, but-

   7. BBBill Burr15:25

      No.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:25

      ... that's the same model.

   9. BBBill Burr15:25

      And they never deliver with what they say they're gonna, and then-

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:28

       They can't, they can't.

   11. BBBill Burr15:28

       ... they come in and they just, they just, they gut the thing.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       Well, the beautiful thing about podcasts is podcasts all get big on word of mouth. Like I've never advertised this podcast. I never did anything with it.

   13. BBBill Burr15:38

       Right.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       I never bought billboards or put ads up anywhere. It's just from word of mouth. And the way other podcasts grow is people get on people's podcasts and they say, "Hey, you listen to Bill Burr's podcast, Monday Morning Podcast, it's fucking hilarious." And then it-

   15. BBBill Burr15:52

       Right.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:52

       ... just grows from people promoting.

   17. BBBill Burr15:53

       But I think it's the job of people making money in podcasting to let new podcasters know, do not sign those deals-

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       Yes.

   19. BBBill Burr15:58

       ... ever.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:59

       Yes.

   21. BBBill Burr15:59

       Do not let the fox into the henhouse, because they are going to fucking rob you blind. They just-

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:05

       And you don't need them.

   23. BBBill Burr16:06

       And I, I saw this documentary one time on this heavy metal band Anvil, right? This crazy thing about this band that just was around forever and never quite made it, and there was a, I think it was, I think it was that one. It's one of those ones about an old, like, metal band from the '80s, and this guy said, like, the truest shit ever when he was talking about the music business, and this goes straight across podcasts and everything. He goes, "You're better to own something 100% and only sell 20,000 copies than you are to, uh, not own it at all and sell 20 million." Like, you're literally gonna make more if you just sell 20, 20-

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:37

       Isn't that crazy?

   25. BBBill Burr16:38

       Yeah, no, they're fuck... 'Cause and then another thing that they d-... Oh, my God, dude. Another thing that they do is then the, all the people that they lose on, they dump that on you.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:47

       Yes. Yes.

   27. BBBill Burr16:48

       Like, I remember one time, I forget what it... I, I was, uh, with this network and I had a CD that was already made. I already made it and I just wanted them to put it out on their label, and they, and they wanted to own the CD. And I was like, "No. I'm, I'm not... No, I don't want you to own it, I just need you to, to, to, like, distribute it. I need you as a distributor." And the guy said to me, he goes, "Well, you know, ownership shouldn't be that big a deal for you. It should be about exposure." I said, "All right, well, let me ask you this. If ownership shouldn't be that big a deal to me, why is it such a big deal to you?" And he started, like, stammering, and then he basically said, "Well, you know, we get in business with someone." He named a couple other comics whose CDs didn't sell. "And we have to recoup those losses." It's like, that ain't my fault.

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       That's hilarious.

   29. BBBill Burr17:33

       I could have told you not to sign that fucking jerk-off. What is your...

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:36

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Are you gonna start…

   1. BBBill Burr30:00

      big things coming out, and then that's it. I'm dried up. 'Cause everybody in the interview is like, "What, what's next for you after these two things?" It's like, that's it. It's, it's the pandemic, I have no-

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Are you gonna start going on the road at all?

   3. BBBill Burr30:09

      Um...

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      Clubs are opening up.

   5. BBBill Burr30:11

      Yeah. I'm gonna see how you guys do, you know?

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      (laughs)

   7. BBBill Burr30:15

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:15

      Who comes back with a cough?

   9. BBBill Burr30:16

      I'll let you guys walk towards the atom bomb that they just... I mean, I got a little one at home, so I'm, I think I'm gonna chill until, like, September, unless it's just wide open. Um, by chill, I mean...... if, if things go well, I'm gonna, uh, I'm, I'm gonna try to do some shows at The Troubadour because I know that they're hurting and that's one of my favorite venues. All these bands that I love have played there, so-

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       The Troubadour on Santa Monica?

   11. BBBill Burr30:37

       Yeah, so they're kind of... They, they're in a, you know, they're in a bad way because of this, so I'm, I'm gonna try to do a little run of shows down there, you know.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       Are they available? You can do that?

   13. BBBill Burr30:46

       Not available yet, but when they are available, I'm gonna try to do like a three-night thing down there, you know, work for free, get the rust off, have people pay for tickets, buy a bunch of booze and some Troubadour T-shirts, and keep that place going, man. I-

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       Oh, that's great.

   15. BBBill Burr30:59

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       I'll do that.

   17. BBBill Burr31:00

       Yeah, well, shit-

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       I'll do that, too.

   19. BBBill Burr31:02

       Let's do it.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:02

       I'll do it, yeah. That sounds like fun.

   21. BBBill Burr31:05

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       I, I went there, uh, twice this year. I saw Everlast there and I saw Sturgill Simpson there.

   23. BBBill Burr31:09

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       They're fucking great.

   25. BBBill Burr31:09

       And Steve, Steve Martin opened for Richard Pryor there.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       Wow.

   27. BBBill Burr31:12

       A lo- I read this great Steve Martin article where he was talking about, uh, opening for him there. So s- it also has like some comedy history there too.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:20

       Well, when I was there, I was saying, "This is a perfect venue for comedy." It's like 500 seats. It's awesome. It's got a balcony.

   29. BBBill Burr31:26

       Mm-hmm.

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:26

       That could be a great place for stand up.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. BBBill Burr45:00

      just sort of... Everything they were, uh, I think reporting was always perverted to some level.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:03

      Mm-hmm.

   3. BBBill Burr45:04

      Um, and now it's just, it's just you're sort of watching, like, op-ed pieces. So, I don't know. This is somebody who doesn't watch anything and reads, like, you know, autobiographies of football players in the 1950s. So, I mean-

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:16

      Well, in this Covington School kid case, they sued. The kids sued and won. They, you know, the CNN painted them out to be a monster. They were getting death threats.

   5. BBBill Burr45:24

      And did-

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:24

      Kid just stood there smiling.

   7. BBBill Burr45:25

      ... and did they, did CNN also, uh, issue a retraction?

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:28

      I don't know what they did, but they paid 'em.

   9. BBBill Burr45:30

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:30

       I don't, I don't know what they, but they-

   11. BBBill Burr45:32

       That's why I don't-

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       ... made the kid's life hell.

   13. BBBill Burr45:32

       ... I don't like ni- either one of those-

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       No.

   15. BBBill Burr45:34

       ... channels because of that. And it causes, I think, rational people... Like that guy, the guy, the f- the fat dude in the, in the bicycle suit ripping those pieces of paper out of those girls' hands?

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:45

       Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ.

   17. BBBill Burr45:46

       Yeah, that guy, that is the result, I think, of watching one of those channels-

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:50

       Yeah.

   19. BBBill Burr45:50

       ... 24/7 and then going on Facebook and writing in capital letters.

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Could you imagine if you were there watching that guy rip pa- pai- pieces of paper out of a little girl's hand like that, that he didn't even know? Yelling at her, running up to her where the mother is yelling, "You stop touching her. Get your hands off her." I would've p-

   21. BBBill Burr46:06

       Oh, that was the mom? I thought that was her friend.

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:08

       Whoever that was. It sounded like a woman. It sounded like a woman yelling-

   23. BBBill Burr46:12

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       ... 'cause there was a little girl.

   25. BBBill Burr46:13

       The guy was doing... He was doing everything but growling.

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:15

       Yeah.

   27. BBBill Burr46:16

       And then it, 'cause then it gets to the point of, like, what is in your head that you're trying to defend? Like, wha- like, that's a guy... But then everybody vilifies the guy, which I would rather sit down and talk to that guy and be like, "Let me ask you this. When you watched that, you know, Floyd video, like, what is it that you see?" Because just yelling at somebody, "Cancel him," and making him lose his fucking job, you're just gonna make the guy even more angry. And he probably has grandkids that he's gonna fill their h- before he, before he dies on his-

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:45

       So what's the solution? Sit down and talk to him?

   29. BBBill Burr46:48

       I think that should be part of it. Like, "Buddy, let's just sit down for a second. You were on a bicycle. You wanted to burn some calories."

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:57

       (laughs)
5. 1:00:00 – 1:04:29

   (laughs) …

   1. BBBill Burr1:00:00

      got a big head. I got a huge target. This is not gonna go three rounds. It's just not. Um, I fought up until like sixth... Around sixth grade, I think I probably had my last one and then all of a sudden kids started to get 120, 130, 140 pounds and there started being blood and- and-

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

      (laughs)

   3. BBBill Burr1:00:18

      ... fucking people missing a couple days of school after a beat down.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      Yeah.

   5. BBBill Burr1:00:20

      I was just like, "You know what? Okay. I think I'll be the funny guy." (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

      (laughs) It's weird how things go sideways like that when there's a- there's like a feeling in the air. When- whenever chaos breaks out like that and it's a real melee, there's a feeling in the air, like it's like you- you feel it. It's like, "Oh, this is nuts." Like this is, this is really dangerous.

   7. BBBill Burr1:00:41

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

      Like there's a- a- a- a mob mentality feeling that you get that's real weird when things go crazy.

   9. BBBill Burr1:00:48

      I- I remember it took me, uh, having to leave Boston for about seven years. I was gone for seven years before I finally walked into a bar and just felt the normal energy of... But I think the city's changed a lot but like that, sort of that tail end of the-... the craziness. I walked into a bar, and you could just feel it. It's like, "Somebody's gonna get suckered." Like-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       Yeah.

   11. BBBill Burr1:01:07

       ... "Not now. It's about 90 minutes away." You could just feel the level of drunkness-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       Mm-hmm.

   13. BBBill Burr1:01:12

       ... the, the, the energy.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:14

       Well, guys would go out looking for fights. Some guys would go out looking for fights.

   15. BBBill Burr1:01:18

       Yeah, I knew guys like that.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:19

       There was a guy I used to train with, uh, Mike Blythe. He used to work at The Rathskeller. He was a bouncer. He would go over, he would wrap his hands. He would wrap his hands on his way to work. (laughs)

   17. BBBill Burr1:01:28

       I knew a guy, I knew a guy-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:30

       Tape his wrists and shit.

   19. BBBill Burr1:01:32

       I knew a guy who was a bouncer, and he u- used to bring a mouthpiece-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       Oh, yeah.

   21. BBBill Burr1:01:35

       ... to, uh, to work. But he used to carry it all the time. And I remember when he would get into a- (laughs) when he would get into a fight, he would fucking... It was a, it was something where he would, it was a mouthpiece, he would bite down. It wasn't like what you guys wear. But it would totally psych the other guy out. Like, he would come out and he would just put this thing in, and the guy'd be like, "This guy brought equipment?"

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:52

       (laughs)

   23. BBBill Burr1:01:53

       Like... (laughs) Like, "What the fuck is going on here?" And I remember one time he got, he got suckered. He knew it was gonna be a fight. And I'm thinking, well, for some dumb reason, he sat down on the stairs and the guy was standing above him. And one of his friends jumped down and just punched him, and I saw the mouthpiece. It was like fucking Buster Douglas, Tyson.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:02:10

       (laughs)

   25. BBBill Burr1:02:10

       I saw his mouthpiece fly towards us. And then just... I sh- I shouldn't tell these stories, 'cause-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:02:16

       Why?

   27. BBBill Burr1:02:16

       I, I don't know. 'Cause I, uh, you know, it's my version of what... It was a long, long, like 30-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:21

       You're not naming names.

   29. BBBill Burr1:02:23

       It was like 30 years ago, and what happened was, we were in an off-campus apartment. And, uh, I can't believe I'm gonna tell this story. I'm gonna tell the quick version. Uh-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:34

       Tell the whole version.

Episode duration: 3:02:09