Joe Rogan Experience #1505 - Hannibal Buress

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Hello, Hannibal. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Hello, Hannibal.

   2. HBHannibal Buress0:01

      What's happening, man?

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Good to see you, my friend.

   4. HBHannibal Buress0:03

      Good to see you too.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      It's been a wh- Last time I saw you was in Thailand.

   6. HBHannibal Buress0:06

      It was in Thailand.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      Dude.

   8. HBHannibal Buress0:07

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      That was crazy.

   10. HBHannibal Buress0:08

       And that was...

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:09

       Two years ago?

   12. HBHannibal Buress0:10

       Two years. 2018, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:11

       Yeah.

   14. HBHannibal Buress0:12

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:12

       That was random.

   16. HBHannibal Buress0:13

       That was very random.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:14

       (laughs)

   18. HBHannibal Buress0:14

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:15

       That's so crazy, though.

   20. HBHannibal Buress0:16

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       I mean, we had dinner, hung out in Thailand. I was like, "This is wild."

   22. HBHannibal Buress0:19

       Yeah. Yeah, at the, uh, it was in Chiang Mai.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Chiang Mai, yeah.

   24. HBHannibal Buress0:23

       Yeah, I was doing Muay Thai out there.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       Yeah, that's crazy. So you just decided, just up and decided, "I'm gonna go there by myself-"

   26. HBHannibal Buress0:31

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       "... for several months."

   28. HBHannibal Buress0:32

       Uh, just a month.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Oh, you went for a month?

   30. HBHannibal Buress0:34

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Nah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      guys that are into getting kicked in the balls by women?

   2. HBHannibal Buress15:02

      Nah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      Oh my God. I don't wanna show it to you. No? DJ's into-

   4. HBHannibal Buress15:07

      No.

   5. JVJamie Vernon15:07

      I wanna look it up.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      They, uh, they, they're into getting kicked in the balls and getting their ball stomped on by stilettos. That's like a whole category of like pain and torture. Like e- all those BDSM folks, you know?

   7. HBHannibal Buress15:19

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:19

      Yeah.

   9. HBHannibal Buress15:20

      Yeah, the stomping out seems ... That's a ... I don't know what would really lead you to that, to that zone-

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       (laughs) Everybody's got-

   11. HBHannibal Buress15:31

       ... of, of extremes.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       Look, I love Jim Norton to death but he likes chicks pissing on him and all kinds of crazy shit.

   13. HBHannibal Buress15:37

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       People are into weird stuff, man.

   15. HBHannibal Buress15:38

       People living out there, man.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       They're living out there.

   17. HBHannibal Buress15:40

       People are out there living, you know?

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       Speaking of living ...

   19. HBHannibal Buress15:43

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       I've been hearing some crazy shit about you.

   21. HBHannibal Buress15:47

       What are you hear-

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:47

       And I've been hearing that you are making a move, like a very, very unusual move to a very strange place-

   23. HBHannibal Buress15:55

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       ... that's very unusual for a man from Chicago to just up and take off.

   25. HBHannibal Buress16:00

       Yeah. And that's, uh ... I, I do wanna get into that. That just reminded me-

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:04

       Oh.

   27. HBHannibal Buress16:04

       ... that I bought some of those flamethrowers when they, when they were selling 'em and then-

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:08

       Oh, the Elon Musk one?

   29. HBHannibal Buress16:09

       I bought them with the intent of reselling 'em in our, in their, in my parents' basement, so, uh ... (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:14

       How many you got?
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Flights, getting up in…

   1. HBHannibal Buress30:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      Flights, getting up in the morning, all that shit.I am very curious now that this Ghislaine Maxwell guy, or lady, got arrested.

   3. HBHannibal Buress30:09

      Mm-hmm.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      You know, the-- Jeffrey Epstein's-

   5. HBHannibal Buress30:12

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:12

      ... confidant. W- What... First of all, how quick before they kill her? Second of all, if they don't kill her, what is she gonna say and who's going down? 'Cause there's a lotta people going down.

   7. HBHannibal Buress30:24

      It's- it's pretty bonkers. I watched that-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:27

      That could affect the election.

   9. HBHannibal Buress30:28

      You think it could affect the election?

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       100%. 100%, yeah.

   11. HBHannibal Buress30:32

       How's that?

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:32

       100%. Well, first of all, Trump used to hang out with that guy. There's a picture with Melania and Trump and Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine, and Fox News cut out Trump. They cut the- they edited the picture so that Trump wasn't in the picture, and they're like, "Well, we made a mistake." Like, bitch, you didn't make a mistake. There's the picture.

   13. HBHannibal Buress30:54

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       They were posing, partying together. They hung out.

   15. HBHannibal Buress30:58

       What, um... I know at the end of the- the doc on- on Netflix, they said that he had all of those tapes and- or all of those rooms were being taped, so I wonder if she has access to that or did they burn that? What-

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       That's a good question.

   17. HBHannibal Buress31:17

       What's up?

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:18

       Yeah. You know he had a picture of Bill Clinton in a dress in the foyer of his house?

   19. HBHannibal Buress31:23

       Damn.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       It's a crazy picture, like, "You are my bitch."

   21. HBHannibal Buress31:27

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:27

       'Cause he had Kil-... Clinton flew with him, like, 26 times. Look at that. That's a picture. That's a real picture that was in the foyer of his house.

   23. HBHannibal Buress31:36

       M- (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:37

       (laughs) How crazy is that?

   25. HBHannibal Buress31:39

       Is that...

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:40

       That's a real picture, man. My friend Eric Weinstein-

   27. HBHannibal Buress31:43

       That's a-

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:43

       ... has seen that picture in real life. That's a real picture.

   29. HBHannibal Buress31:46

       Well, that's a painting.

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:47

       A p- painting, yeah. Not a photo. A painting, I'm sorry. (laughs)
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Are there regular flights…

   1. HBHannibal Buress45:00

      produce, maybe even start directing out there.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      Are there regular flights there? 'Cause a lot of places are quarantined. Like I, I know some people that tried to go to Italy-

   3. HBHannibal Buress45:09

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:10

      ... and they found out, you know, even though they're letting people back in Italy, they won't let Americans.

   5. HBHannibal Buress45:14

      I think by the time ... I think by September I feel like ... But who knows?

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:19

      Who knows?

   7. HBHannibal Buress45:19

      This world is crazy.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:21

      Yeah.

   9. HBHannibal Buress45:21

      But there's, there's been initiatives, uh, in Ghana that they're trying to get Black Americans to, to come live there. So I think they would, uh, the Ghana- Ghanaian government would, would smooth out the trip. Uh-

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       But would ... I mean, would it be hard to catch a flight? Like how many flights are going to Ghana right now?

   11. HBHannibal Buress45:39

       Out of New York ... I mean, I'm hoping that things change in, in September. I was, I was looking at a site 'cause it ... There's, now there's sites like, "What's going ... Where can you go?"

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       Right.

   13. HBHannibal Buress45:49

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:50

       Mm-hmm.

   15. HBHannibal Buress45:50

       So I was just looking, cabin fever web searching, "Where can I, where can I go?" And so it has each country and like ... It's World of Nomad or something like that, where they're like, "This is what's going on. You can't go there. They're only accepting private flights in certain countries. Like, you can fly private there. This place, you get there, quarantine for 14 days." So, so it's such a, such a weird zone. I thought about going to Newfoundland before the, the US and, uh, Canada border was closed 'cause I started getting panicky and I was looking at places that had low amounts of cases.

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:26

       (laughs)

   17. HBHannibal Buress46:26

       And I saw Newfoundland. Uh, you know what? Yeah, I gotta go to ... Maybe I'll go to Newfoundland. And then Trudeau and, and Trump, they started talking about closing the border, the Canadian US border, and I said, "Shit. Do I ... I gotta ... It's now or never. Am I gonna really go to Newfoundland?" Of course, I didn't go, but it was-

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:43

       Newfoundland is interesting. They're really into curling up there.

   19. HBHannibal Buress46:46

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:46

       I did a show up there and I made fun of curling and people started going, "Hey."

   21. HBHannibal Buress46:50

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:50

       They were mad.

   23. HBHannibal Buress46:51

       "Hey."

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:51

       They were mad. You know what I think of Newfoundland? I think of ... Pull up this photo of Johnny Cash moose hunting in Newfoundland. Here's another photo that we need to get turned into one of them big metal prints. This is, uh, Johnny Cash wearing like regular clothes, like an old school rifle, like 1965 or some shit like that moose hunting in the areas.

   25. HBHannibal Buress47:11

       Hey.

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:13

       Johnny Cash in Newfoundland. There he is. Look at that. That's the photo. That's the one. That's the one we need.

   27. HBHannibal Buress47:21

       That's the walkie, the walkie talkie? He called ... "Hey, I see a, I see a-"

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:24

       Look at that. Look at the antenna on that fucking thing.

   29. HBHannibal Buress47:26

       << I see a moose on the ...

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:28

       (laughs)
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00

   ... character was on…

   1. G2Guest 21:00:00

      and it, and I just knew, I knew there was a better way. And then somebody told me, he's like, "You don't have to do that. You can just pay somebody 80 bucks and they'll do it over a weekend." And I paid somebody and I'm like, "Oh yeah, this is much better." And so you pay this guy and then you came back with refreshed skills?

   2. HBHannibal Buress1:00:14

      ... character was on point.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      (laughs)

   4. NANarrator1:00:16

      (laughs)

   5. HBHannibal Buress1:00:16

      Yeah. Character was on p- because the thing is, there's the park on NBA 2K, and so that's kind of open world. Other people have their characters, and so if you're-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

      So the park is like you're playing against other folks.

   7. HBHannibal Buress1:00:27

      You're playing against other folks. They got-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

      Oh.

   9. HBHannibal Buress1:00:29

      ... their own outfits, and so you can see what everybody's rated. It's real, you know, it's a real social thing going on-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       Mm.

   11. HBHannibal Buress1:00:37

       ... where you're like, "Okay, the, everybody's here at 95, 97." You can't-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       Can you hear them talk shit?

   13. HBHannibal Buress1:00:42

       I don't wanna hear anybody.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:44

       (laughs)

   15. HBHannibal Buress1:00:44

       I could, but I don't really like talking to folks like that 'cause it's too, it's too direct, but-

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       What is this guy doing here, Jamie?

   17. JVJamie Vernon1:00:50

       I wasn't trying to show you the guy talking, I was trying to show the video of the park so you could just-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:53

       Yeah.

   19. JVJamie Vernon1:00:53

       ... see the visuals of it. But it's not, it's, it's in the middle of this guy's video.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       Oh, wow.

   21. HBHannibal Buress1:01:01

       So yeah, that's the park. There's different three on three games, two on two.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       Oh, w- and so you, do you have to wait in line and then you get into a game?

   23. HBHannibal Buress1:01:09

       Sometimes, yeah. So you, those are the, those little circles are the waiting spots. Uh, so you can either play randomly or you could come through. Like, I meet up. That's where I would meet up with people during quarantine, me and my cousin. "Hey, you going to the park?" "Yeah, let's go to the park at 7:00." Then we team up-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:23

       God, look at the graphics.

   25. HBHannibal Buress1:01:23

       ... and then we play against people.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:25

       Graphics are amazing.

   27. HBHannibal Buress1:01:26

       I think this is...

   28. JVJamie Vernon1:01:27

       This is actually live. Someone playing the ... So they have a 2K league.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:30

       (laughs)

   30. HBHannibal Buress1:01:30

       Oh, yeah.
6. 1:15:00 – 1:17:12

   (laughs) …

   1. HBHannibal Buress1:15:00

      Y- y'all need some masks to go back?" 'Cause the... I was like, "Why you gonna go back there?" It's fucking... And so I remember f- you know, I'd FaceTime her, she'd be at work with a mask on, just like, you know, February 15th, 16th, that zone. And I would look at her like, "That's crazy. Look at..." (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:15:22

      (laughs)

   3. HBHannibal Buress1:15:22

      I was like, "Look at y'all. Y- nobody's at work? That's insane. What? You just, you just sitting there with a mask on all the time? Wow. What is that like?" Little did I know, I would find out.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:15:37

      Little did you know.

   5. HBHannibal Buress1:15:38

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:15:39

      It's normal life now.

   7. HBHannibal Buress1:15:40

      I was really oblivious, thinking, "Oh, that's gonna, that's over there." And it, it... I got a early look at the shit. It was just like, "Oh, damn, that sucks. You should..." I was really telling her like, "You should escape there and come here and..." (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:15:59

      Hong Kong's safer now.

   9. HBHannibal Buress1:16:01

      Uh-huh. "You should wait it out over here." (laughs) Which is so bonkers to look back at. I was, "No, come to America. We don't got that shit over... Like it's in Hong Kong." Man, it's insane. Now I'm throwing crazy COVID jam session. Who knows?

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:16:19

       And then being worried about it.

   11. HBHannibal Buress1:16:20

       Being wor- and then had a full-on, uh, meltdown. Like, real, like-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:16:27

       Mm.

   13. HBHannibal Buress1:16:28

       ... walked up to the... (laughs) Just try to... You know, it's, it's one thing to shut down a house party, but, like, shut down a jam session, it's like, walk up to the keyboardist, like, "Uh." (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:16:40

       (laughs)

   15. HBHannibal Buress1:16:40

       Kill it. Yeah. Looking at the drummer like, "No, no, no, no, no."

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:16:43

       Keep everybody alive. What we need is a test that you can just, like a real quick saliva test.

   17. HBHannibal Buress1:16:48

       Census style.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:16:49

       Yeah. But just, everybody walks in, lick that thing. Okay, you're good. Okay, you're good. Okay, you're good. Oh, you're not good. Like, know who's clean, let everybody in.

   19. HBHannibal Buress1:17:01

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:17:01

       I mean, if we did that, it would change everything. If they had some sort of a, a test, like a real easy saliva test. Just lick it and you know. We could wipe this shit out in a week.

Episode duration: 2:34:34