Joe Rogan Experience #1507 - Bob Saget

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Yeehaw, Bob Saget. How…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Yeehaw, Bob Saget. How are you, buddy?

   2. BSBob Saget0:04

      I am happy ... I am actually excited to be- I'm excited to be anywhere-

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      (laughs)

   4. BSBob Saget0:08

      ... but I'm especially excited to be talking to you.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      I'm excited to be talking to you too.

   6. BSBob Saget0:11

      Thank you.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      And we tested you. You're clean, buddy.

   8. BSBob Saget0:13

      I am.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      You're free and clear of-

   10. BSBob Saget0:15

       I-

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:15

       ... the virus.

   12. BSBob Saget0:15

       ... I did ... I, uh, usually have like a ... A ... Trump had someone take his SAT, I usually have someone take my-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       (laughs)

   14. BSBob Saget0:21

       ... COVID test for me.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Did Trump have someone take his SATs?

   16. BSBob Saget0:24

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       Is that true?

   18. BSBob Saget0:24

       Yeah, it's true. Apparently.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       How could you do that?

   20. BSBob Saget0:26

       But I don't know what's, what's true.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Right.

   22. BSBob Saget0:27

       What the hell is true anymore?

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       Well, anything before the internet is hard and even during the internet it's hard, because they splice things up and edit stuff.

   24. BSBob Saget0:35

       Oh, it's all soundbites. You could, you could hate anybody or love anybody.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       I know. It's ... You know what's weird, man? Is, um, when ... The, the deep fake stuff. Like, how long do we have before you don't know what you're seeing?

   26. BSBob Saget0:50

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       How long before ... Do, do we have before, you know, we see, like, a, a world leader declaring war on us and we don't know if it's real?

   28. BSBob Saget0:57

       Yeah. Correct.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       How long?

   30. BSBob Saget0:59

       I, I say now.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. Or to get…

   1. BSBob Saget15:00

      people looking at them on whatever site you look at, and then someone who has 5,000 people, who has a YouTube pa- page that people go to. But it's just to start... Everybody goes to the news source they want that validates what their opinion is.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      Yeah. Or to get angry. My tune into Fox News just to get angry. Or tune into CNN to get angry if you're on the other side. It's, uh, it's a weird time, man.

   3. BSBob Saget15:23

      But it's gotta come together. I know that's what you, you try to do that. I, I know that that's what... I mean, standup is the root of that in a way.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:32

      Yeah, because you can make fun of ideas that maybe even someone agrees with the idea, but if you mock that idea and it's so funny it gets them to laugh, they have to think about it. You know? Like if you s- like say if you're a pro-

   5. BSBob Saget15:44

      How beautiful is that though?

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:45

      It's amazing.

   7. BSBob Saget15:45

      To be able to do that-

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:47

      Yeah.

   9. BSBob Saget15:47

      ... and how bad you wanna do it right now.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:49

       Oh yeah, I would love to do it right now.

   11. BSBob Saget15:51

       I need to do it. (sighs) Um-

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:52

       I had this bit about Trump and I had this guy come up to me, he goes, he goes, "I'll tell you why that joke's good." He goes, uh, "I fucking love Trump and that joke was hilarious." Like, when you can say, when you can make fun of something that someone loves and they still think it's funny.

   13. BSBob Saget16:06

       Right.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:07

       Yeah. Then they ha- they have to think.

   15. BSBob Saget16:09

       There's a skill to that. And I try to do that too. I try to r-... It's impossible to come up with something that pleases every s- side and every perspective, but I'm trying. But that's why I end up talking about my dick so much.

   16. JRJoe Rogan16:21

       (laughs)

   17. BSBob Saget16:21

       Because it does-

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:22

       It's a pleaser.

   19. BSBob Saget16:22

       It does lean left. (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:23

       And it's a pleaser.

   21. BSBob Saget16:24

       (laughs) It is a pleaser. (laughs) It's... (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       (laughs)

   23. BSBob Saget16:27

       I d- (laughs) I might have to say that again sometime. (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:31

       It's a pleaser.

   25. BSBob Saget16:32

       It is.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:32

       You should have a T-shirt. You should sell T-shirts on your website.

   27. BSBob Saget16:34

       (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:34

       It's a pleaser.

   29. BSBob Saget16:35

       (laughs) You just got me some merch ideas.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:38

       That's a good merch idea right there. Yeah. It's, it's impossible to make everybody happy. You... 'Cause here's one thing, everybody doesn't wanna be happy. There's a lot of people that they love being miserable. They like being angry. And-
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yep. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      but so is the OR at the Comedy Store.

   2. BSBob Saget30:03

      Yep.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      That's great too. I'm fine with that. I don't... I honestly, I just like doing standup. If we can never do arenas again, if no one ever, no rock bands, no UFC ever does an arena again, no football games are ever in a sold out arena. Okay. I don't-

   4. BSBob Saget30:20

      But you can't do UFC in, in the OR.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:23

      Well, they're doing UFC with no crowd.

   6. BSBob Saget30:25

      That's true.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:25

      And it's amazing. I love it. I've, I've called, uh, two, yeah, two fights now with no audience, and it's g- I, I enjoy it, man. It's great.... I st- I'm just happy that the fights are happening. And, like, when I did, uh, I did shows in Houston a couple weeks ago.

   8. BSBob Saget30:41

      Yeah. I was talking to-

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:42

      Yeah.

   10. BSBob Saget30:42

       ... Wanted to talk to you about that, so.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:43

       Yeah, me, Tony Hinchcliffe, and Brian Moses. We, uh, we did the Houston Improv. We had a great time. First of all-

   12. BSBob Saget30:49

       It's a great room.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       ... it was... It's a great room and-

   14. BSBob Saget30:52

       I was supposed to go there. I had to, I had to not 'cause of what's going on now.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:55

       Yeah. Um-

   16. BSBob Saget30:56

       But you went in. I, I was like, "Wow, you brave-"

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       Well, just-

   18. BSBob Saget30:58

       "... brave motherfucker."

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       ... fucking we wanted to. We just wanted to, you know. First of all, I missed, I miss doing shows, but I miss hanging out with comics on the road.

   20. BSBob Saget31:07

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:07

       It's fun, you know, and-

   22. BSBob Saget31:10

       My buddy, Mike Young, I, uh... We always tw-

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       Sure, I know Mike.

   24. BSBob Saget31:12

       ... toured together, and it's like, um, with my brother, you know?

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       Yes, it's fun. You, you and... You know, and that's, that's the big thing is, like, touring on the road with people you love, it's the best 'cause, like, Moses is the best. I love him.

   26. BSBob Saget31:25

       I don't know him.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:25

       And I, and I love Tony. He hosts Roast Battle.

   28. BSBob Saget31:27

       Oh, I know.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:28

       He's great. And, and Tony's-

   30. BSBob Saget31:30

       And I love Tony.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Wants to be the…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      But to, to me, like, like if I'm around Jeff Ross and something like that happens, I expect that he's gonna turn to me and say something fucked up-

   2. BSBob Saget45:11

      Wants to be the first person to say it.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      (laughs) Of course.

   4. BSBob Saget45:14

      And I go, "Jeff, no."

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:15

      Yes.

   6. BSBob Saget45:16

      But I... I'm, I'm saying no with love.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:18

      Yes, of course. (laughs) Of course.

   8. BSBob Saget45:20

      Kenison, I actually, uh... I'm gonna date myself 'cause I don't have to now 'cause I'm married. That's the kinda jokes I shouldn't do.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:26

      Wah, wah, wah.

   10. BSBob Saget45:26

       No, that's the ones I... But I know as I'm saying them, but I still say 'em.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:29

       Can't help it.

   12. BSBob Saget45:30

       It's a dad joke thing.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       Yeah.

   14. BSBob Saget45:33

       Bill Burr said to me, he was a guest on my, my, my, my nubile podcast, and Bill said to me, uh, "You know what your act is, Saget?" He said, "Your act is all the lines you couldn't say on Full House and you just say 'fuck' all around it."

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       (laughs)

   16. BSBob Saget45:46

       "That's what your act is." And I went, "What? What are you saying?" And then he pummeled me for 20 minutes and I fucking loved it. And then I attacked him for, like, 10 minutes. But he a- (laughs) ... he's a... one of the best people.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       He's one of my favorite people on Earth.

   18. BSBob Saget46:00

       He's one of my favorite people on the Earth.

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       Yeah.

   20. BSBob Saget46:01

       He went to my wedding.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:02

       I just love to wind him up. (laughs)

   22. BSBob Saget46:04

       Oh, fuck. I was... I, I was... I had nine stories to start, but that's why this is... I'm so happy to be doing this. Thank you.

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       My pleasure. Thank you.

   24. BSBob Saget46:11

       I, I haven't talked to anybody. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       I know. You've been stuck, right?

   26. BSBob Saget46:15

       Well, I had a Zoom last night, uh, night before, with, uh, Norman Lear and a bunch of musician friends.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:21

       Oh, wow.

   28. BSBob Saget46:21

       And we talk about the world and we talk about what the fuck are we gonna do. And, and it's just, uh, interesting. It's, it's a... And we used to... We would do it in person, we'd all sing songs for four or five hours into the night and have different friends show up. Stamos came, John Mayer came, Dave Koz always comes to it, and it'd be music. You, you play, right?

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:42

       No.

   30. BSBob Saget46:43

       I thought you were a musician.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:07:23

   Oh, God. …

   1. BSBob Saget1:00:00

      um, Peter Boyle. And it's horrifically upsetting. And the way I- it's been told to me, I don't know if these stories whisper down the lane, is that...... he, they went back to the same place after a while. The guy came back and he had some other mishap. I, I don't wanna say he hit his head again, but he fell. (laughs) He was the same guy just trying to have a redo to get healed-

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:24

      Oh, God.

   3. BSBob Saget1:00:25

      ... when, I mean, I don't know what's more embarrassing. Well, if your head gets split open, but the whole room can see you've got a giant cock, maybe it's a blessing and a curse. I don't know.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

      There's probably a few gals that hit him up after that.

   5. BSBob Saget1:00:38

      But drawstring pants means there's not a lot of cleanliness down in the junk.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:42

      Well, you could wash them up.

   7. BSBob Saget1:00:43

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:44

      If you're a gal looking for a big dick, like, there it is. You know?

   9. BSBob Saget1:00:47

      If, or a guy looking for a big dick.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:49

       Or maybe a guy you can trick into fucking you. Yeah.

   11. BSBob Saget1:00:52

       That would be the, the move.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:53

       Yeah. Because-

   13. BSBob Saget1:00:53

       Or some, you could play-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       ... not that bright.

   15. BSBob Saget1:00:55

       ... uh, like you do with a bat in baseball.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       Mm-hmm. Right, see who gets to bat.

   17. BSBob Saget1:00:57

       Just happens to that. (laughs) Uh, yeah-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       See who gets the first at-bat. (laughs)

   19. BSBob Saget1:01:01

       It's the top, it's that ... It's that ... Make that sound again. I can't do, I can't.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       I don't know.

   21. BSBob Saget1:01:06

       And I can't roll my Rs either.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:07

       You can't?

   23. BSBob Saget1:01:08

       But then, the answer to Kenison, how quick he popped was, after that set, like a week later, Rodney came in to see him. And I'd known Rodney. Rodney liked me. "I like you, man." I met him at the s- in La Jolla. He came up to me. "You're funny, man. You're a Jew. You're never gonna be happy. You got a fast mind. You're all fucked up, man."

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:24

       (laughs)

   25. BSBob Saget1:01:24

       "You're never gonna be happy." And he was trying to clean up at La Costa and he comes in and he goes, "I, I can't do it, man. No booze, no coke, no pot, no pills. I can't do it."

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       (gasps)

   27. BSBob Saget1:01:33

       And he's with two women.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:34

       (laughs)

   29. BSBob Saget1:01:34

       And, uh ... (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       (laughs)

Episode duration: 2:33:25