Joe Rogan Experience #1516 - Post Malone

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   I'm giving you my…

   1. PMPost Malone0:00

      I'm giving you my dark surprise.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      (clears throat) That's my Everybody's Too High song. Do do do do.

   3. PMPost Malone0:09

      Do do do do do do. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Right? (laughs) When it's like, "Oh, no."

   5. PMPost Malone0:16

      (laughs) This guy's fucking high.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Grab the table. Yeah, hang on. Do do do do. Do do do do do. And we're rolling. What's up, brother? How are you?

   7. PMPost Malone0:25

      I don't even...

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:25

      What's going on?

   9. PMPost Malone0:25

      How are you?

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Got you in here, man. I'm excited, excited.

   11. PMPost Malone0:27

       You know, I'm finally, I'm finally here. I'm happy to be here.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       By the light, huh? This is your shit?

   13. PMPost Malone0:31

       Yeah, come on.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       All right.

   15. PMPost Malone0:33

       Cheers, sir.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Cheers, sir.

   17. PMPost Malone0:34

       Why not?

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Pleasure.

   19. PMPost Malone0:36

       Also, precursor, I haven't slept.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       I know. We haven't slept, we're on mushrooms.

   21. PMPost Malone0:41

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       And, uh, let's roll. (laughs)

   23. PMPost Malone0:44

       Yeah, fuck it. We'll do it live. (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Yeah. "Let's do it live! Fuck it!" W- why Utah, man? Why you live in Utah? What's that about?

   25. PMPost Malone0:54

       I have no idea.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       Have you b- are you from there?

   27. PMPost Malone0:57

       No, sir. I was born in Syracuse, New York.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       It's bea- it's beautiful there. I love it there.

   29. PMPost Malone1:01

       It is. It's absolutely something special.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       I really love it. It's got a good vibe too, because it's, there's, it's almost like Utah's a secret because everybody's scared of the Mormons, so they don't go there.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Right. …

   1. PMPost Malone15:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Right.

   3. PMPost Malone15:00

      "But make me skinny."

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      Yes.

   5. PMPost Malone15:02

      "Like make, like, like make me ripped."

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Make me a little more handsome, little more sculpted."

   7. PMPost Malone15:07

      Yeah. "Give me a bigger dick in my statue," you know what I mean? (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big, big old dick. (laughs) That was Instagram filters if you were a rich person.

   9. PMPost Malone15:18

      Yeah, the exact- that's exactly what it is.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       You're so right. We have no idea what anybody really looked like.

   11. PMPost Malone15:22

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:23

       We, we ... I mean, imagine if there was like this one guy you would go to in the neighborhood and all the ladies were like, "You gotta go to him. He makes your ass look so perfect."

   13. PMPost Malone15:30

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       And like that's how they would get their picture done. (laughs) This dude would paint some nonsense version of them.

   15. PMPost Malone15:35

       The-

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:36

       Yeah.

   17. PMPost Malone15:37

       I- no one knows.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:38

       How do you know? You bet-

   19. PMPost Malone15:38

       I wasn't there.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       Fucking mirrors barely worked back then.

   21. PMPost Malone15:40

       I wasn't there. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:41

       Mirrors were probably terrible back then. They probably didn't get a clear look.

   23. PMPost Malone15:45

       When were mirrors invented? (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       They're looking at shit through fire, right? That's the only way they lighting room up. It's fire.

   25. PMPost Malone15:50

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:50

       They had little lamps everywhere.

   27. PMPost Malone15:51

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       It's preposterous. They have no idea what they look like.

   29. PMPost Malone15:53

       It doesn't work.

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       No.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      they see someone in the kitchen, and they go to say something to 'em. They turn around, and then they turn back again. The person's gone.

   2. PMPost Malone30:06

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Like, weird shit.

   4. PMPost Malone30:07

      Right.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      Like old friends you haven't seen in forever wandering through the hallway, and they go up the stairs, and then you can't find them.

   6. PMPost Malone30:13

      Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:13

      There's, like, a bunch of stories like that. Now, granted, there's a lot of people who have done a lot of drugs at The Comedy Store.

   8. PMPost Malone30:19

      Right.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:19

      That has to be factored in.

   10. PMPost Malone30:21

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:22

       But there's so many stories worldwide of ghosts. I don't think it's impossible to... I think it's possible that things leave a memory, right?

   12. PMPost Malone30:34

       Right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:34

       Like maybe if you hate someone so much, uh, you, you leave a memory on the space, like you can-

   14. PMPost Malone30:39

       That's the stone tape theory.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:41

       Yeah, yeah.... the what? Stone tape?

   16. PMPost Malone30:43

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       Stone tape?

   18. PMPost Malone30:45

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       What is it?

   20. PMPost Malone30:46

       That, that, the energy of a life is, like, left on ... material shit, like-

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       Right.

   22. PMPost Malone30:56

       ... the bricks on the wall.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       Yeah.

   24. PMPost Malone30:58

       Or the curtain here.

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       Right.

   26. PMPost Malone30:59

       You know. And that's like, I don't know if that's the stone tape theory. Don't quote me on, don't quote me on that one.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       I've never heard of-

   28. PMPost Malone31:05

       Can you look up the qua- can you look up the stone tape theory for me?

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       Stone tape.

   30. PMPost Malone31:11

       But it, well, 'cause I'm, I'm friends with Zak Bagans from Ghost Adventures, right?
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      mechanical thing. This is what, um ... There's this, uh ... Oh my God, I can't remember his name. Oh, Ray Kurzweil, sorry. Uh, he's a guy that's obsce- he's a scientist. He's a inventor. He's got like 100 patents. Genius guy. Um, maybe not 100, but a lot. Um, and he is obsessed with downloading his consciousness into a computer. He's obsessed with the idea of technology reaching a point where you could replicate, uh, a human being i- i- in, in a way where you w- will never die. Your consciousness will actually transmit to some sort of a, a computer or an artificial body or another body that's they, they've genetically engineered. And he believes this is, like, he's, he's saying you have to look at the exponential rate of technology. Right now, that doesn't make any sense.

   2. PMPost Malone45:47

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:48

      But if you go 10 years from now, 10 years is gonna ... The 10 years time is gonna be like 100 years of progress.

   4. PMPost Malone45:54

      Well, like you said, exponentially. It's snowballing.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:56

      Yep.

   6. PMPost Malone45:56

      Snowball.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:56

      10 years after that, 1,000 years-

   8. PMPost Malone45:58

      Right.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:58

      ... of progress. Like 20 years from now, I don't know if those are the right numbers, but 20 years from now or somewhere in that range, we could be looking at artificial life. We could be... 30 years from now, we could be looking at fake people.

   10. PMPost Malone46:08

       They're already cloning goats.

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       Yeah, they've done sheep. Yeah, Dolly the sheep. Yeah. I bet they're cloning people 100%.

   12. PMPost Malone46:17

       Must be.

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:18

       100%. 100%. You don't think Russia is cloning people right now? You don't think China's cloning people right now? Why wouldn't they?

   14. PMPost Malone46:24

       I think we're cloning people.

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:26

       Well, if you think of the people that do, that treat human beings with the least amount of respect, if those ... Like, if you think of the way they treat their citizens, those people are likely to clone people. They're not gonna give a fuck. They're gonna wanna be able to-

   16. PMPost Malone46:41

       We don't give a fuck.

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:41

       ... they better be able to quick, quick to the jump. Yeah.

   18. PMPost Malone46:44

       We don't give a fuck.

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:45

       We don't give a fuck.

   20. PMPost Malone46:45

       N- I don't think anybody ... It's, it's a matter of ... It does honestly feel like, oh, everybody's just a gold miner.

   21. JRJoe Rogan47:00

       In a way 'cause we're mining technology.

   22. PMPost Malone47:02

       Everybody, I mean, even, even you sitting on your phone, you're-

   23. JRJoe Rogan47:07

       Yeah.

   24. PMPost Malone47:07

       ... contributing.

   25. JRJoe Rogan47:08

       100%, yeah.

   26. PMPost Malone47:09

       And then they're learning.

   27. JRJoe Rogan47:11

       And you want a new phone. You want a new phone next year. So you work hard-

   28. PMPost Malone47:14

       Right.

   29. JRJoe Rogan47:14

       ... so you can buy that new phone.

   30. PMPost Malone47:15

       Right.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:14:04

   No, man. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      a few feet away from a goddamn dinosaur with a brain the size of a quarter. That thing doesn't give a fuck about you or your babies or your kids or ... You're just lucky.

   2. PMPost Malone1:00:10

      No, man.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      You're lucky that dinosaur doesn't just bum rush you.

   4. PMPost Malone1:00:12

      The tail's the size of a human.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

      Yeah. Dude, it's so, they're so big. And that's not even a huge one. There's, there's a video of one in Florida walking across a golf course, it's 15 feet long, and you see it, and these guys are in awe. They're like, "What the fuck?" They're, they're out there playing golf and a legitimate dinosaur walks by, 15-foot-long alligator. It's so big. It's so big, dude.

   6. PMPost Malone1:00:35

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

      Look at its leg. Look at it. Look at that thing. Look at that thing.

   8. PMPost Malone1:00:37

      Is this the-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

      Yes.

   10. PMPost Malone1:00:38

       Holy Christ.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       Yeah, holy Christ. Look how big that is.

   12. PMPost Malone1:00:42

       On the golf course.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       Bro, look how big that is.

   14. PMPost Malone1:00:45

       Yo. (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:45

       Look at the size of that thing.

   16. PMPost Malone1:00:47

       (laughs) Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       Holy shit, man.

   18. PMPost Malone1:00:49

       Your ball struck my foot.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       Holy fuck that thing's so big.

   20. PMPost Malone1:00:53

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:53

       What did they do?

   22. PMPost Malone1:00:54

       I'll see you in the parking lot.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:56

       (laughs)

   24. PMPost Malone1:00:57

       What's the Billy Madison quote? I don't-

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

       Which one?

   26. PMPost Malone1:01:00

       Or Happy Gilmore, that's what it is.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

       Oh, the alligator ate his hand? Carl Weathers.

   28. PMPost Malone1:01:06

       It's fucking crazy.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       How crazy is that? You're out there living in Florida, you live with monsters.

   30. PMPost Malone1:01:11

       That's a dinosaur.

Episode duration: 3:49:38