Joe Rogan Experience #1523 - Joey Diaz & Brian Redban

1. 0:00 – 1:19

   Birthday toast, COVID-era drinking, and surprisingly good non-alcoholic beer

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (thumping sound) (snaps fingers) Whoo! Salud, gentlemen. (glasses clinking)

   2. JDJoey Diaz0:05

      Salud. Happy birthday, my brother.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      Thank you so much. Thank you for being here.

   4. JDJoey Diaz0:07

      To many more.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Thank you, Young Jamie. (glasses clinking)

   6. BRBrian Redban0:10

      Thanks, sweetie.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      Thank you. Thank you all. Whoo. (sighs)

   8. JDJoey Diaz0:13

      Tremendous.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      53 spins around the sun.

   10. JDJoey Diaz0:16

       I have not fucking had a drink the whole fucking-

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       The whole COVID?

   12. JDJoey Diaz0:20

       ... the whole COVID. Not an- and, you know, and I didn't drink before that either, I don't think.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       No, you weren't much of a drinker.

   14. JDJoey Diaz0:25

       It's fuck- every night I go home, I'm gonna have a make up 'cause that- the Heineken makes it light.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Yeah.

   16. JDJoey Diaz0:29

       Five points.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       Oh, yeah.

   18. JDJoey Diaz0:30

       Tremendous. The last-

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       They make a double zero that actually tastes good.

   20. JDJoey Diaz0:33

       The last-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Zero alcohol, it's the be- they- Heineken has, for sure, the best non-alcoholic beer.

   22. JDJoey Diaz0:39

       Really?

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       It tastes like fucking beer. Like, you're- you- if you were a alcoholic, you'd be like, "Oh, my God. I fucked up." Like s- you know how you have those- like, I like O'Doul's. They taste good, but it doesn't taste like beer. A cold O'Doul's is delicious. I like those non-alcoh- I do. Some people don't like 'em. I like 'em. Like, a cold one is really nice. But it- you know what you're doing. With the Heineken, they kinda trick you. I don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're doing some weird shit 'cause it tastes like- it tastes like beer.

   24. BRBrian Redban1:06

       Well, beer is like a taste kind of.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       Yeah.

   26. BRBrian Redban1:08

       That's- that's why O'Doul's work. It's kind of like s- that smoke juice you put in meat. Like, "Oh, that's the s- taste of smoke."

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:14

       Right, or like watermelon gum.

   28. BRBrian Redban1:15

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:15

       That shit don't taste like watermelon.

   30. BRBrian Redban1:17

       Nah, but still good. (laughs)
2. 1:19 – 3:10

   Beer history, low-alcohol laws, and the U.S. drinking age change

   1. JDJoey Diaz1:19

      It's so crazy how beer- like, I grew up on six-packs and eight-packs.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:23

      Hmm.

   3. JDJoey Diaz1:24

      Eight-packs were the eight ounces.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:25

      Yeah.

   5. JDJoey Diaz1:26

      Nips, you got a case of nips or a case of beer. And then you went out to Colorado and they had 3.2.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:34

      3.2?

   7. JDJoey Diaz1:34

      Alcohol.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:35

      Low alcohol beer.

   9. JDJoey Diaz1:36

      If you're under-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:36

       Like Utah.

   11. JDJoey Diaz1:36

       ... between 18 and 21.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:38

       Oh, really?

   13. JDJoey Diaz1:39

       That's what you have to drink. Then when you turn 21-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:42

       Oh.

   15. JDJoey Diaz1:42

       ... they give you the full dose. There used to be a club on the hill. I for- uh, I forget what it was, in- in the University of Boulder downstairs, and that's what they served you, 3.2 beer.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:52

       Right around the time I was turning 18 was the time they made it 21 years old. I'm pretty sure. Find out when they did it in Massachusetts. When did Massachusetts make the drinking age from 18 to 21? I feel like I missed it by, like, a year or two, but probably for good. They were like, "Jesus Christ." Like-

   17. BRBrian Redban2:08

       I remember that when I was in elementary. People were mad about that. (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan2:11

       Yeah, at least make it harder for them. Fucking animals.

   19. JDJoey Diaz2:14

       Thank you for the COVID test.

   20. JRJoe Rogan2:15

       My pleasure.

   21. JDJoey Diaz2:16

       I did the blood test.

   22. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       Okay. They're- it's 1979, they've raised the drinking age from 18 to 20. Huh, but when was it 21? Oh, okay. '84, Dukakis.

   23. JDJoey Diaz2:26

       '84.

   24. JRJoe Rogan2:27

       Exactly. Okay.

   25. BRBrian Redban2:28

       Dukakis.

   26. JRJoe Rogan2:28

       So '84, I was 17. That son of a bitch, and he raised it from 20 to 21.

   27. JDJoey Diaz2:33

       Dukakis also fucked up. He gave out furloughs to prisoners, and one escaped and killed somebody. So when I got into a halfway house-

   28. JRJoe Rogan2:40

       That was Willie Brown, right? Wasn't it?

   29. JDJoey Diaz2:41

       Somebody. When I got to a halfway house, everybody was mad at Dukakis 'cause you couldn't have furloughs no more.

   30. JRJoe Rogan2:46

       Oh.
3. 3:10 – 4:56

   COVID prison releases and the case for freeing non-violent offenders

   1. JRJoe Rogan3:10

      Well, they're releasing a lot of prisoners right now 'cause of COVID. They're opening up the doors.

   2. JDJoey Diaz3:16

      18,000 in California.

   3. JRJoe Rogan3:18

      Yeah, yeah.

   4. BRBrian Redban3:18

      Did you hear that one that just, uh-

   5. JDJoey Diaz3:19

      That came out of jail and shot the motherfucker who accused him.

   6. BRBrian Redban3:22

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan3:23

      Yeah, yeah. I don't- yeah, I don't know if that's the best idea, kids. 'Cause a lot of those people are very violent. Like, it- it depends on what you're letting out. If you're letting out some dude who sel- sold weed, you should've let him out a long time ago, you know? You're letting out some guy who's selling mushrooms, let that guy out. Don't put- keep him in a fucking cage with people who are murderers.

   8. JDJoey Diaz3:42

      We've had this conversation before. (graphics thudding) You gotta let out the people that are non-violent drug offenders.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:47

      Yes, all of 'em.

   10. JDJoey Diaz3:48

       Non-violent drug offenders, first time, first time offenders unless, you know, there's- there's- you know what the big thing in jail is sometimes when you go to county? There's a big DUI population.

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:00

       Really?

   12. JDJoey Diaz4:00

       There's motherfuckers that can't stop getting DUIs.

   13. BRBrian Redban4:03

       (sighs)

   14. JDJoey Diaz4:04

       I think my ex-brother-in-law has the record in Colorado. (fart sound effect) And I'm not making a joke here.

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:10

       Hmm.

   16. JDJoey Diaz4:10

       Like, there's people that stay in the system because of the DUI problem.

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:14

       Jesus.

   18. JDJoey Diaz4:14

       You know, they gotta blow into a tube before they start their car.

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:18

       Yeah, my friend Robbie had that.

   20. JDJoey Diaz4:19

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:19

       His work van.

   22. JDJoey Diaz4:19

       They- they- they's got all types of shit so-

   23. JRJoe Rogan4:21

       And then they-

   24. JDJoey Diaz4:22

       ... and then they put you in work release. That's a complete different situation. Then you, you know, you- it- they have different levels of it, you know?

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:29

       Yeah. That blowing in the thing, it takes some time too. He couldn't just start his car. So if it was cold out, like, we were playing pool, and I go, "How long does that take?" And he's like, "It takes, like, five minutes. Just gotta sit here."

   26. JDJoey Diaz4:40

       10 seconds.

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:40

       'Cause it has to check to see to make sure you're all right. And you can't- there's no getaways. Like, if something's chasing you, (laughs) you hop out of the car, you gotta blow in the thing-

   28. JDJoey Diaz4:48

       No, you gotta-

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:49

       ... to get the car to start.

   30. JDJoey Diaz4:49

       ... I had a friend that did that. He used to just pay people $5 to blow in there.
4. 4:56 – 5:40

   Chicago unrest, misinformation, and fear of another national flashpoint

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:56

      Do you know what happened in Chicago? Do you have any idea what happened this weekend in Chicago?

   2. JDJoey Diaz4:59

      No.

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:00

      Do you- do you know?

   4. JDJoey Diaz5:01

      Oh, about the-

   5. BRBrian Redban5:02

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JRJoe Rogan5:02

      ... crazy-

   7. JDJoey Diaz5:02

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:03

      ... the world- there was a shooting.

   9. JDJoey Diaz5:04

      The riots.

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:04

       There was a shooting and then there was some crazy looting.

   11. BRBrian Redban5:07

       They broke into Tesla.

   12. JRJoe Rogan5:08

       And Jamie was the first one to tell me that there was, like, an incorrect story. The incorrect story was that a 14-year-old girl was shot. Is that what it was? Or 15-year-old girl was shot?

   13. BRBrian Redban5:17

       I heard, yeah, a 15-year-old was shot and killed by the police, but it was misinformation that was- and I don't know how that got out or who put it out initially. I didn't find out that part of it, but it was actually a 20-year-old that was not killed and was in the hospital. (liquid sloshing)

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:31

       Oof.

   15. BRBrian Redban5:31

       So it got- I don't know. I-

   16. JRJoe Rogan5:33

       Yeah, we're one of those away. We're one of those away from this whole fucking thing exploding in, uh, in different cities again.

5. 5:40 – 16:13

   Why leaving Los Angeles feels inevitable: shutdowns, decay, and gun lines

   1. JDJoey Diaz5:40

      Why do you feel this strongly about Los Angeles lately?

   2. JRJoe Rogan5:44

      There's too many people here to-

   3. JDJoey Diaz5:45

      I've seen you make a turn very ... Ever since the Houston trip, you've been a different person.

   4. JRJoe Rogan5:50

      Well, I've been thinking about it for quite a while. I've been thinking about leaving LA for a while 'cause I think- I don't- this is just my- my- my feeling. I don't think this is a healthy way to live. I don't think it's good for your brain. I really don't. I think people-

   5. JDJoey Diaz6:03

      Which part of it?

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:03

      The people that live here, like...I wonder if it's a coincidence that so many people that live in cities have, like, um... It's like cities are always Democratic, right? Almost always. Cities are rarely Republican. Isn't that weird? Like, I don't know. I mean, is Houston like that? That's a pretty big city. Dallas is a pretty big city. But I think they might be blue. I think the cities might be blue, and then the states are all, you know, the, the surrounding areas red.

   7. BRBrian Redban6:31

      Me and Jamie grew up red.

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:32

      I wonder... But I always used to think that that was because they were smarter. I just think that they were more educated, so they were more likely to be Democrats. Because I, I, my family was Democrats growing up, and I always felt like that was, like, the, the people who were really interested in freedom of speech, really interested in education, really interested in welfare and making, making programs for poor people and prison reform. They didn't want, they didn't want the death penalty. They wanted you to have the right to choose. That's what it was always to me. So why the fuck are they all, like, lumped up in cities? Like, what is that? It's because that's where all the universities are? But there's some universities are in, you know, in the middle of nowhere too. It's weird. It's weird how cities are like... Like, if you just... Forget if you had a, a dog in the fight. If just looking at people, it's odd that these big giant clumps are almost always they lean Democrat. It's weird. And then when shit like what's going on now happens, where you have violent reactions on a regular basis. Like, on a regular basis, there's riots. On a regular basis, there's crazy shit going on in Portland and Seattle. They're trying to burn federal buildings. This isn't rare. This is like every day. We're totally accustomed to it. Have you, have you noticed? You see a fucking looting and a riot and a building on fire on TV, you don't even flinch. You don't even flinch. That used to be a big deal, right? Remember, like, the Waco days? That was a big fucking deal. There was a standoff with the feds and a compound, and there was a guy who thought he was Jesus who was fucking everybody's wife, and they had guns. And you're like, "Holy shit."

   9. JDJoey Diaz8:00

      Waco was fucked up.

   10. JRJoe Rogan8:01

       It was fucked up.

   11. JDJoey Diaz8:01

       What year was Waco? '94, '95?

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:04

       Well, Hicks, Hicks was alive, because Hicks talked about it on stage, so it had to be pre-9... I think Hicks died in like '93, in that area. It was like Hicks and Kinison died within a couple of years of each other. So it had to be-

   13. JDJoey Diaz8:16

       It was Ha- it was Waco and then the Oklahoma City bombing-

   14. JRJoe Rogan8:19

       Yep.

   15. JDJoey Diaz8:19

       ... which blew our fucking minds.

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:20

       Waco, '93, okay.

   17. JDJoey Diaz8:22

       '93.

   18. JRJoe Rogan8:23

       So-

   19. JDJoey Diaz8:23

       And then '94, '95 was the Oklahoma City bombings, which really fucked with me that week. I snorted a lot of coke.

   20. JRJoe Rogan8:30

       The Oklahoma City bombings are very interesting.

   21. JDJoey Diaz8:33

       Very interesting that week.

   22. JRJoe Rogan8:34

       Very interesting. There's a lot of weird stuff there.

   23. JDJoey Diaz8:36

       That's April 19th, 1995. I was still living in Boulder.

   24. JRJoe Rogan8:39

       Do you see that building? Look at the building. There's people to this day that don't believe that that was just a car filled with some sort of explosive that did that.

   25. BRBrian Redban8:49

       Damn.

   26. JDJoey Diaz8:49

       The most... thing I remember that fucked with me-

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:51

       They say it's too uniform.

   28. JDJoey Diaz8:52

       It was a daycare on the basement.

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:54

       Oh.

   30. JDJoey Diaz8:55

       That's what destroyed me that week. And I remember I bought a big batch of coke and I cut it and I was trying to sell it, and I did the whole bag in four fucking days just watching the coverage on this. Ugh. Like I was just-
6. 16:13 – 19:27

   Pandemic governance, lack of health messaging, and collapsing public trust

   1. JRJoe Rogan16:13

      Well, this is what, this is what-

   2. JDJoey Diaz16:14

      This is what bothers me.

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:14

      ... what's sad. What's sad is, I mean, we, now we know. We didn't have a plan if everything went sideways like this, and you can't... Like, governors and mayors, it's their fault, right? But it's not their fault, because really, get... That fucking job is a ridiculous job in a pandemic. Like, all of a sudden, there's a new problem that's presented with you. You don't have the resources to fix it. People are not gonna listen. They're gonna wanna party, they're gonna wanna still go out, they're gonna do... And you're in this situation where, you know, a, a large percentage, uh, it didn't turn out to be as bad as we thought it was, but they thought it was gonna be a large percentage of our population could possibly die. And you don't have the resources, and what do you do? And governors, even though they, they are in that position, they're in that position 'cause they got elected. They're not in that position 'cause they passed a battery of tests and show that they know exactly how to respond in any given circumstance. They were charismatic. They had the right money behind them. They said the right things. They backed the right bills. And then you become a mayor, and then you become a governor. But it doesn't mean you know what to do if things go sideways and no one knows what to do. And the fact that they were always getting those checks, they're always getting those checks. No matter what happened, no matter what shut down, they kept getting those government checks. And they told all these other people they couldn't work. Like, you can't... That's not a plan. That's not a sustainable plan. You can't tell people, "You can't work, but I'm gonna keep getting paid, and I'm gonna tell you when you can go back to work again." Because people are gonna go, "Fuck you." Like, you can't just keep everything shut down for five months. That is California. I, I don't know what the proper response would have been. I don't know. But this wasn't it. This is, wasn't the best case scenario. And again, not a fucking word about your health. Not a word about taking vitamin D. Not a word about exercise. Not a word about drink water. Not a word about cut out sugar. Not a word about, "Use this as an opportunity to lose weight. We have to up our metabolic health. We have to be... We have to take vitamins. We have to be better about our health." Not one word! Everything's, "Wear a mask," and, "You can't do this," and, "You can't do that. Don't open this and don't open that."And look, they weren't prepared. That's all it is. They're not bad people. Like, people think that they wanted to sabotage the, the state or sabotage the city. I'm sure Garcetti and Newsom are nice guys. They, they probably are fine to hang out with. The, the problem was nobody was ready. Nobody knew what the fuck this was.

   4. JDJoey Diaz18:29

      I can't hang out with Garcetti.

   5. JRJoe Rogan18:31

      (laughs)

   6. JDJoey Diaz18:32

      (laughs)

   7. He says, he says Los Angelinos too much. Leave it alone, all right?

   8. JRJoe Rogan18:35

      No, he's just, Angelenos.

   9. JDJoey Diaz18:35

      Angelinos.

   10. JRJoe Rogan18:36

       (laughs)

   11. JDJoey Diaz18:36

       He drives me fucking crazy. Newsom, Newsom looks like you could smoke a joint with him-

   12. JRJoe Rogan18:40

       Maybe.

   13. JDJoey Diaz18:41

       ... and talk to him and he'll go, "You're right. I fucked up." But Garcetti's too... What about the fucking DA's husband is getting charged with assault because-

   14. JRJoe Rogan18:51

       What? When happened?

   15. JDJoey Diaz18:52

       Jackie Lacey's husband is getting charged with a misdemeanor assault because when they went to his house to protest, that brother pulled out a piece.

   16. Did he really?

   17. And said, "Get the fuck away from my door." And they took a picture of him, and they charged him with misdemeanor whatever, assault. The DA's husband.

   18. My God.

   19. It's just been, uh, you know, a real-

   20. JRJoe Rogan19:15

       The, uh, mayor of... Or the head of police of Seattle just quit.

   21. JDJoey Diaz19:20

       Yeah, that motherfucker tapped.

   22. Yeah.

   23. He sent the letter out.

   24. JRJoe Rogan19:22

       It's a lady. No, it's a lady.

   25. JDJoey Diaz19:23

       And I can't... Yeah. She sent our-

   26. 'Cause those cuts, man.

   27. She sent the letter out.

   28. That's a, what, 4 million, $8 million?

7. 19:27 – 22:50

   Crime spikes, helpless institutions, and Joey’s “press 2 for Spanish” hack

   1. JRJoe Rogan19:27

      Well, y- you know, the cops, they see the writing on the wall for whatever reason. People decide they hate cops now. It's... Look, there's bad people in every fucking job. You know, the problem with being a bad cop is, it's, it, it can, uh, it can ruin a person's entire life, ruin the life of a family. When you see someone abuse someone like that, like what we saw, it's natural to get upset. We all got upset, but it's not every cop. And I think that's a crazy way of looking at things, and they're figuring that out right now in New York. And New York has record crime, man.

   2. JDJoey Diaz20:01

      New York is off, going off the fucking hook.

   3. JRJoe Rogan20:04

      My friend, John Joseph, you know, he, he lives in New York. He's always sending me updates. You know-

   4. JDJoey Diaz20:08

      I'd love to fucking change.

   5. JRJoe Rogan20:09

      It's crazy.

   6. JDJoey Diaz20:10

      Crazy.

   7. JRJoe Rogan20:10

      And John's never left. He's be... You know, he's the lead singer of the Cro-Mags. Hardcore dude, does triathlons and shit. He's not going anywhere. You're not kicking him out. But he's... You know, he's, he sends me these updates on crime, and nobody gives a fuck. It's crazy. It's like these guys, uh, uh, I mean, I mean the criminals, they don't give a fuck. They're getting, they're getting wild.

   8. JDJoey Diaz20:30

      They're stealing catalytic converters in my neighborhood.

   9. Yeah.

   10. Catalytic converters are going like fucking hot cakes now, okay?

   11. They're so crazy.

   12. I've thought of stealing crazy shit.

   13. JRJoe Rogan20:41

       How much does that worth?

   14. JDJoey Diaz20:41

       When I was doing coke, I was thinking about bringing it into the White House, shit like that. But who would rob a fucking catalytic converter right off the street? They melt them down to platinum, they sell it, and that's how they're making a living.

   15. JRJoe Rogan20:55

       Jesus.

   16. JDJoey Diaz20:55

       Studio City the last week, they've been hitting neighborhoods so if you park on the street, they clip your catalytic converter.

   17. But it's great. Everyone has Nest cams now and home security cameras, so, like, next door has become my new fetish of just watching people's home security of, like, people walking in the neighborhood doing nothing.

   18. JRJoe Rogan21:12

       Hmm.

   19. JDJoey Diaz21:12

       That's crazy.

   20. Yeah, but I'm gonna tell you something.

   21. This guy looks suspicious. (laughs)

   22. Let me tell you guys a fact. Our friend's martial arts school got robbed the other night.

   23. JRJoe Rogan21:19

       Yeah? What'd they steal?

   24. JDJoey Diaz21:21

       She c- caught it on camera. She dialed 911. They put her on hold for an hour.

   25. What?

   26. So you're dead. You're dead, buddy. You're dead.

   27. Always call the non-emergency line, by the way.

   28. And always press two.

   29. (laughs)

   30. And always press two, and you want the Spanish, they pick up quicker. So you fucking unemployment dummies that haven't gotten unemployment.
8. 22:50 – 26:30

   Bourbon, tooth-pulling, and doctors who used drugs: Joey’s wild medical tales

   1. JDJoey Diaz22:50

      That tastes tremendous, by the way. I don't know who made that, what it is.

   2. JRJoe Rogan22:53

      Buffalo Trace, it's the shit.

   3. JDJoey Diaz22:54

      That is fucking delicious.

   4. It is great.

   5. Fucking delicious.

   6. JRJoe Rogan22:57

      Yeah, it's very good. It's American.

   7. JDJoey Diaz22:59

      If I didn't have to drive, I'd have nine more.

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:00

      This shit is older than America. They, they... This company started in 1773.

   9. JDJoey Diaz23:04

      That is fucking delicious.

   10. Where they out of?

   11. Huh?

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:07

       The, uh, Kentucky.

   13. JDJoey Diaz23:08

       Ah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:09

       Buffalo Trace.

   15. JDJoey Diaz23:10

       Christ. You do two more of those, then you gotta break out-

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:11

       They used to make, they used to make booze during the, uh, when, when it was illegal.

   17. JDJoey Diaz23:16

       (clears throat)

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:17

       They did it for medicinal reasons. I didn't know that they had a weed scam, like they have a weed scam today, they used to have a booze scam. Same thing. You could distill whiskey for medicinal purposes, like a doctor could prescribe it. Like, "Brian, you need a drink." Like, "Whew. Thanks, doc." You go to the doctor and cut your script-

   19. JDJoey Diaz23:33

       Here.

   20. JRJoe Rogan23:33

       ... for some whiskey, I guess. Which... What the fuck did they use whiskey for, for medicinal purposes?

   21. JDJoey Diaz23:39

       Having fun.

   22. Fuck, I used to fucking drink... I used to drink Jack and pull my teeth out.

   23. JRJoe Rogan23:44

       Ugh.

   24. JDJoey Diaz23:44

       What?

   25. When I didn't have a... When I didn't have insurance, when I was a young comic-

   26. JRJoe Rogan23:48

       Oh, God. Oh, if you had a toothache?

   27. JDJoey Diaz23:50

       ... if I had a toothache on the way home, I'd stop and get a little pint of Jack, do shots, gargle with it, and work the tooth. A couple bumps-

   28. JRJoe Rogan23:58

       There's something about-

   29. JDJoey Diaz23:58

       ... to numb the head, and you're fucking good to go. I used to... I, um... It was terrible.

   30. JRJoe Rogan24:03

       Something about losing your teeth that's, like, extra creepy.
9. 26:30 – 29:55

   Politics is rigged: Joey’s childhood view of municipal corruption and money influence

   1. JRJoe Rogan26:30

      Joey, what do you, what do you think happens to the country?

   2. JDJoey Diaz26:33

      Me?

   3. JRJoe Rogan26:33

      Yeah. How does this, in, when you look at it, how does this even out?

   4. JDJoey Diaz26:37

      Listen, first of all, I'm gonna be as honest as I can with you. I don't know what red means and what blue means. I've never... I grew up hanging out with guys that were Democrats. I ripped signs down as a kid for people. I did all that political dirty shit as a kid. And guess what? By the age of 13, I saw the theft at the municipal level.

   5. JRJoe Rogan27:00

      Hmm.

   6. JDJoey Diaz27:01

      I couldn't imagine the thievery at the presidential, the senatorial level, and the governor level. I couldn't imagine what the thievery was, okay? I saw it firsthand as a child. I was involved with it. I saw the payoffs. I went to Long Island with this family. I saw all this shit.

   7. JRJoe Rogan27:20

      Mm.

   8. JDJoey Diaz27:20

      I saw how things got done, you know. So I lost my faith in it.

   9. JRJoe Rogan27:26

      Mm.

   10. JDJoey Diaz27:26

       Like I don't really believe it and I think it's all a bunch of bullshit. Uh, Joe Rogan's running for president. I got a drug that is gonna hook people, is gonna fuck people up. I donate $5 million to Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan makes a few calls and gets that drug passed. And every year I donate $5 million to Joe Rogan. That's how the game is played.

   11. JRJoe Rogan27:48

       It's a little more complicated than that, but-

   12. JDJoey Diaz27:49

       It's... But that's in the same fucking neighborhood, my friend.

   13. JRJoe Rogan27:51

       Yeah, it's in the same neighborhood. You, you're right.

   14. JDJoey Diaz27:53

       It's in the same fucking neighborhood.

   15. JRJoe Rogan27:54

       No, I'm agreeing with you.

   16. JDJoey Diaz27:55

       You buy yourself into this.

   17. JRJoe Rogan27:56

       Yeah.

   18. JDJoey Diaz27:57

       So you know what? As far as politics, I never trusted it, so dis- disclaim me as a politician. I'm talking about as a human being, I see a lot of despair, I see a lot of fear. I see, uh... You know, yesterday somebody put a thing up and they said that they shut the clubs down in San Diego. And I go, "Thank fucking God." And a lot of people said shit to me and I'm like, "I'm not saying because of that. I'm saying because there's social despair." I think that if you're in a parking lot doing comedy and the guy just went home and his wife broke up with him, and all of a sudden he checks the mail, he's losing the house, and he gets in his car to go for a ride... You know how many farmers markets do people get hit at with cars? Especially lately. People have been running through people lately. I don't want to see some guy run through a parking lot in La Jolla and hit a bunch of people watching a comic or com-... Right now is not a time to do comedy. You know what? People want to laugh, but, uh, their, their, their, their moral compass is off. We're confused. Do we wear a mask? Do we not have to wear a mask? Is there a disease? Am I gonna get unemployment? Am I gonna get evicted? There's a lot of things going on in people's minds. You know, people snap on a daily basis just getting caught on the 405. About, you know, I expect a huge amount of people losing it. You gotta be well-grounded.

   19. JRJoe Rogan29:24

       Yes.

   20. JDJoey Diaz29:24

       Thank God I do copy you. I get on, I get up in the morning, I do some shit, I do two bong hits and I get on a mountain bike. I can't hike, but I get on a mountain bike-

   21. JRJoe Rogan29:34

       Same.

   22. JDJoey Diaz29:34

       ... and I go all the way to Coldwater.

   23. JRJoe Rogan29:35

       Beautiful.

   24. JDJoey Diaz29:36

       And I come back and I get vitamin D and then I wash my pussy.

   25. JRJoe Rogan29:39

       Ooh.

   26. JDJoey Diaz29:40

       And then I do what I gotta go do. So I get all that shit out of the way. I don't watch no TV. I don't want to hear it no more.

   27. JRJoe Rogan29:47

       Just-

   28. JDJoey Diaz29:47

       You put COVID, anything, World News Tonight is the number one watched show. Why? Because they're just selling you shit.

   29. JRJoe Rogan29:53

       Disasters.

   30. JDJoey Diaz29:54

       They're just selling you disaster.
10. 29:55 – 33:04

    Comedy withdrawal and the lost ritual of going on stage

    1. JDJoey Diaz29:55

       I don't watch it. The TV wasn't allowed in my house till 6:00, now it's at 7:00. And then, uh, I don't watch Jeopardy or Game of Fortune.

    2. JRJoe Rogan30:02

       (laughs)

    3. JDJoey Diaz30:02

       That shit fucks me up because it makes me feel too old. Remember when I'd call for you? I'd call for you at 7:15.

    4. JRJoe Rogan30:09

       Yeah.

    5. JDJoey Diaz30:10

       (Knocks on table) "Who is it?" "It's Joey. I'm here to call for Joe." "Hold on one second. Come in." "How you doing, Mrs. Rogan?" "How you doing, Joey? Mrs. Rogan, shh, shh, hold on." And she's watching Jeopardy.So, when I was a kid, if you watched Jeopardy, you were an old person.

    6. JRJoe Rogan30:22

       (laughs)

    7. JDJoey Diaz30:23

       So, every time Jeopardy comes on now, I get pissed off.

    8. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       (laughs)

    9. JDJoey Diaz30:25

       I'm like, "What the fuck am I doing home?"

    10. JRJoe Rogan30:27

        (laughs)

    11. JDJoey Diaz30:27

        Because when Jeopardy comes on at 7 o'clock, you and I are getting ready to go on stage.

    12. JRJoe Rogan30:31

        That's a good show though. That's a good show.

    13. JDJoey Diaz30:33

        I know it's a good show. I'm, I don't, I, I get like one answer per show.

    14. JRJoe Rogan30:37

        Right? (laughs)

    15. JDJoey Diaz30:37

        It doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm a dumb fuck. But, what I'm saying to you is, for the last 30 years, you and I at 7 o'clock, a certain adrenaline goes into our body. And Red Band included.

    16. JRJoe Rogan30:49

        You mean get ready to perform?

    17. JDJoey Diaz30:50

        Get ready to perform.

    18. JRJoe Rogan30:51

        Yeah, for sure.

    19. JDJoey Diaz30:53

        At 7 o'clock something would happen to me that it would change. I'd go from being a dad, husband-

    20. JRJoe Rogan30:58

        Get ramped up.

    21. JDJoey Diaz30:59

        ... and all that shit-

    22. JRJoe Rogan31:00

        Talk getting ramped up.

    23. JDJoey Diaz31:00

        ... to being a murderer. (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan31:01

        Yeah.

    25. JDJoey Diaz31:01

        I'm going down to The Comedy Store.

    26. JRJoe Rogan31:03

        Yeah. Yeah.

    27. JDJoey Diaz31:03

        I gotta go sharpen the sword. You get what I'm saying? 7 o'clock you start thinking about new things, you know, the toilet paper-

    28. JRJoe Rogan31:11

        (laughs)

    29. JDJoey Diaz31:11

        ... fucking, you know, all this shit. You write it down, you take a shower.

    30. JRJoe Rogan31:17

        (laughs)
11. 33:04 – 39:11

    Joey’s path to the Comedy Store: crime vs comedy, Mitzi Shore, and “war” Tuesdays

    1. JDJoey Diaz33:04

       I feel my whole time at The Comedy Store, which is 23 years, was pretty fucking good. You know, I didn't come out here to do anything. I came out here... I was a criminal and comedy won. You know, I used to be a cr- I was a criminal and a comic, and comedy won, it beat it.

    2. JRJoe Rogan33:24

       Yeah, but I always knew-

    3. JDJoey Diaz33:25

       Right?

    4. JRJoe Rogan33:25

       ... Joey, your, your thing was always that you had come from a very unsteady, unsteady base. And you could tell. You were like a loving guy, but you had to get to know you. You had to, you gotta, you had to get through you.

    5. JDJoey Diaz33:38

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan33:38

       And then, and then you were a really loving guy, but there was this like the bridge you had to cross, but I knew a lot of people like you. I knew, I knew people like you. Not, not as funny as you, but I knew people that were like brilliant but crazy in the sort of same sort of way, and it was always the same thing. It was always like their childhood was all fucked up or there was... so there was a mi- a missing there, there's some shit that goes wrong there. And when you develop like that, when you grow like that in like such a chaotic experience like yours, there's... this is, you know, it's hard. It's harder.

    7. JDJoey Diaz34:10

       You live-

    8. JRJoe Rogan34:10

       But when you get through, you get through with gifts. That's what's interesting about it. It's like it's harder for you than a person that had like your normal Norman Locke, R- Rockwell mom and pop sort of a life. It's harder for someone like you. It's much more emotionally difficult. You, you go through much more want for, uh, for love. There's... you're not... you don't, you don't feel support, you don't feel stable, and you grow up like that and it's, it's very hard to right yourself as an adult, 'cause all of us come out of our childhood, which we don't really have any control over who our parents are, and we don't... we have very little control over our experiences when we're kids. But we come out of that shit shaking, like when we get onto the road finally, like not everybody comes onto that road with the same amount of stability. Like some people come on that road and they're like, "My mom was awesome. My dad and my mom love each other. Yay!" And they're just going down the road. And other people are like, "Who am I? My uncle fucked me and I'm on coke and I'm only 15," and that... there's a lot of those people out there too. And it's like a matter of like righting it, a matter of like getting it stable, a matter of like getting your life in a position where you feel like you, you can make good decisions and you're in control of it. And it's not the same for everybody, and I knew when I met you, you were a good guy. I know... I knew you were a good man.

    9. JDJoey Diaz35:25

       No, I knew that too. I knew-

    10. JRJoe Rogan35:26

        I knew right away.

    11. JDJoey Diaz35:27

        I didn't question that.

    12. JRJoe Rogan35:28

        But I knew you just-

    13. JDJoey Diaz35:29

        I just questioned how long I was gonna last here.

    14. JRJoe Rogan35:32

        You were distracting yourself with other shit.

    15. JDJoey Diaz35:33

        I, I didn't know how long I would last here. I thought this was just gonna be a, a fluke and I would end up in New York selling coke. And the story is that I became a regular. I broke the record. I became a regular within a month.

    16. JRJoe Rogan35:46

        Did you really?

    17. JDJoey Diaz35:47

        Yeah, I landed here January 29th.

    18. JRJoe Rogan35:49

        That's amazing.

    19. JDJoey Diaz35:50

        I became a regular February 19th on my 30-something birthday. So-

    20. JRJoe Rogan35:53

        Well, if Mitzi, Mitzi caught you at the right time-

    21. JDJoey Diaz35:56

        She caught me at the right time. And everybody kept saying to me, "Has Mitzi seen you?"

    22. JRJoe Rogan35:59

        That's amazing.

    23. JDJoey Diaz36:00

        "Has Mitzi seen you?" So I didn't really go through the whole thing. So now let's go back to that area. That area... that era was hard at the store. I had to follow Mooney every night and Dave Tyree and a bunch of crazy people after 11:00. It got crazy in there.

    24. JRJoe Rogan36:16

        Mm-hmm.

    25. JDJoey Diaz36:16

        And then Holtzman would go on and clean house and, you know, it was just a different... I saw the three different phases of the store.

    26. JRJoe Rogan36:24

        Yeah.

    27. JDJoey Diaz36:24

        Then we saw the other phase with that fucking Mutt LaRage and his little crew, and, and I didn't go there for seven years.And then came the Adam fucking era, which was pretty fucking goddamn special.

    28. BRBrian Redban36:36

        Pretty special.

    29. JDJoey Diaz36:37

        It got so special that it got overly special. Like, Tuesday nights were fucking just ... like, you had to go down there prepared for war.

    30. BRBrian Redban36:45

        (laughs)
12. 39:11 – 46:05

    Early acting chaos and why rappers (and some athletes) can act instantly

    1. BRBrian Redban39:11

       How did Stanhope lure you down here?

    2. JDJoey Diaz39:13

       I did New Years with him.

    3. BRBrian Redban39:15

       Where at?

    4. JDJoey Diaz39:16

       In Seattle, '96 to '97. He's like, "You're wasting your time up here." He goes, "You're ready." But I had worked with him, like, the time before that, so he's like, "I got bunk beds. You're wasting your time."

    5. BRBrian Redban39:27

       (laughs)

    6. JDJoey Diaz39:27

       And I go, "You know what? I gotta go down there to shoot a pilot anyway. CBS is paying me like 20 grand."

    7. BRBrian Redban39:32

       How'd they find you?

    8. JDJoey Diaz39:34

       Uh, Thanksgiving, the night before Thanksgiving in Seattle.

    9. BRBrian Redban39:38

       What were you doing?

    10. JDJoey Diaz39:38

        I was on stage at the-

    11. BRBrian Redban39:39

        And someone from CBS-

    12. JDJoey Diaz39:41

        ... at The Underground.

    13. BRBrian Redban39:41

        ... wanted you to do something?

    14. JDJoey Diaz39:41

        He was from Seattle.

    15. BRBrian Redban39:43

        Wow.

    16. JDJoey Diaz39:43

        And he went home for the holidays and I got off stage and the guy's like, "Listen, I've been looking for a guy like you for three weeks."

    17. BRBrian Redban39:52

        (laughs)

    18. JDJoey Diaz39:52

        "Can you read?" "Yeah." "Okay."

    19. BRBrian Redban39:54

        (laughs)

    20. JDJoey Diaz39:54

        "Meet me tomorrow. I'm gonna put you on tape. I got a pilot because we want you to be ..." The ... It was, it was really fucked up. They wanted my character to be Spanish, but they didn't want him to look Spanish.

    21. BRBrian Redban40:06

        Mmm.

    22. JDJoey Diaz40:06

        It was CBS's answer to NYPD Blue. It was a show called Bronx something, something. And I came down and I was the worst actor in the world.

    23. BRBrian Redban40:18

        (laughs)

    24. JDJoey Diaz40:18

        I started out with like 19 pages.

    25. BRBrian Redban40:22

        (gasps)

    26. JDJoey Diaz40:22

        All the cops and DAs would come into the bar and I would chitchat, give them information, sell shit. And every day that I went and rehearsed, every day they took a page out. (blows raspberry) Every day they took a page out. I went down there, by the time they shot the pilot, I had no lines. I just nodded. I was terrible.

    27. BRBrian Redban40:40

        Ugh.

    28. JDJoey Diaz40:40

        I was snorting coke. I never been to an acting class before.

    29. BRBrian Redban40:44

        Ugh.

    30. JDJoey Diaz40:44

        I was staying up till six in the morning, going there at eight. What's his name was the director.
13. 46:05 – 53:17

    COVID testing, Hollywood “bubbles,” and how productions try to restart safely

    1. JDJoey Diaz46:05

       You got another blunt for Young Uncle Joseph?

    2. BRBrian Redban46:07

       Yes, of course, I do.

    3. JDJoey Diaz46:07

       Thank you, brother.

    4. BRBrian Redban46:08

       You can have some of mine.

    5. JDJoey Diaz46:09

       No, I'm all right, 'cause that corona test was tremendous.

    6. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       I got one right here, Jimmy.

    7. JDJoey Diaz46:14

       Just that swab in your nose, I know she took things out of my nose that would need to figure out-

    8. JRJoe Rogan46:19

       We have to find out. Let's find out what's keeping you going, make sure everything's, everything's okay.

    9. JDJoey Diaz46:22

       I did the antibodies test, but then a dentist told me, she goes, "Joey, the antibodies is no good."

    10. JRJoe Rogan46:28

        The FDA approved one is good. It shows-

    11. JDJoey Diaz46:31

        Because-

    12. JRJoe Rogan46:31

        ... whether or not you've had it.

    13. JDJoey Diaz46:33

        It's a respiratory illness.

    14. JRJoe Rogan46:34

        Yes.

    15. JDJoey Diaz46:34

        It shouldn't be in your blood, so that's what-

    16. JRJoe Rogan46:37

        Oh, well she-

    17. JDJoey Diaz46:37

        That's why she said ... That's why I did the swab, to be honest with you, and I didn't want to faint. I faint at the weirdest moments, Joe.

    18. JRJoe Rogan46:42

        Yeah, but that's not real. What- whatever she just said, that's not true.

    19. JDJoey Diaz46:46

        Okay, whatever.

    20. JRJoe Rogan46:46

        Like, it's-

    21. JDJoey Diaz46:46

        Who-

    22. JRJoe Rogan46:46

        It's in your blood for sure.

    23. JDJoey Diaz46:47

        Who gives a ... Who gives ... Everybody's faucing now. Who gives a fuck?

    24. JRJoe Rogan46:49

        No, they-

    25. BRBrian Redban46:50

        Where's the lighter?

    26. JRJoe Rogan46:50

        The best way to find out ... Right in front of you. Right in front of you.

    27. JDJoey Diaz46:52

        Thank you, brother.

    28. JRJoe Rogan46:52

        Right there. The best way to find out, apparently, is you draw blood, and then they do an analysis of the blood.

    29. JDJoey Diaz46:57

        Mm-hmm.

    30. JRJoe Rogan46:57

        But the, the pinprick is FDA approved, and the swab lets you know if you have, like, recent infections.
14. 53:17 – 1:03:21

    Elections, taxes, mail-in voting skepticism, and Joey’s Jersey machine-politics stories

    1. JRJoe Rogan53:17

       Biden announced Harris for VP.

    2. JDJoey Diaz53:19

       Okay.

    3. JRJoe Rogan53:20

       Kamala Harris, "A fearless fighter for the little guy. I have the country's finest public servants as my running mate." They might win. She's a powerful lady.

    4. BRBrian Redban53:29

       Can you click on her name?

    5. JRJoe Rogan53:31

       She's very good at talking. Yeah, she was that lady that, uh ... she got in- into it with Tulsi Gabbard (sighs) at the, uh, primaries.

    6. JDJoey Diaz53:42

       I don't know nothing about these people, Joe Rogan.

    7. JRJoe Rogan53:44

       Yeah.

    8. JDJoey Diaz53:44

       I know that Biden's a-

    9. JRJoe Rogan53:44

       One of them might be the vice president of the United States.

    10. JDJoey Diaz53:46

        ... and I think that fucking, uh, Trump won the election on Saturday when he gave people money 'cause money talks and bullshit walks. If I get a check in the mail from Trump for 600, he bought my vote right now at this point in the-

    11. JRJoe Rogan53:58

        The thing about it is though, I don't think, uh ... I think it relies on the state paying 25%.

    12. BRBrian Redban54:03

        And the state, like, of California's bankrupt.

    13. JRJoe Rogan54:05

        States, like, don't have any money. Yeah, they're like, "We don't have any money, bro."

    14. JDJoey Diaz54:06

        What were you talking about the other day 50%? You had me almost scared to death.

    15. JRJoe Rogan54:10

        When you add up the state income tax with the federal income tax, it's- it's in the neighborhood of 54%.

    16. JDJoey Diaz54:15

        That's where it's gonna go into?

    17. JRJoe Rogan54:16

        With an increase, yes.

    18. JDJoey Diaz54:17

        All right.

    19. JRJoe Rogan54:17

        The increase that California wants to do? Look, they- they have tr- they're trying to figure out a way to buy their way out of some of the problems that we have. I get it. I don't know what the fuck they should do. I'm a moron. I shouldn't be the mayor or the governor. I am not gonna do it. It's not in my wheelhouse. I would not balance the budget. I would not ... I'm- I'm not a pay attentioner. (laughs) That's not me, man. I got things to do. I'm worried about space. All right? I'm not worried about your budget. But somebody has to do it and they have to do it right. And y- giving them more money is not gonna ... it's not gonna fix it. They need a fucking real plan. No one's telling us how to get out of this economically. No one's telling us how to get out of this healthwise.

    20. JDJoey Diaz54:53

        ... everybody's bitching.

    21. JRJoe Rogan54:54

        Yeah.

    22. JDJoey Diaz54:55

        But this is the first time we've been caught with our pants then down.

    23. JRJoe Rogan54:59

        Yeah.

    24. JDJoey Diaz54:59

        I'm not mad at anybody. I can't really be mad at anybody because everybody got caught with their pants down. How we've handled it at times is kinda weird. It's kinda-

    25. JRJoe Rogan55:10

        It's not just that. It's not just that. We look vulnerable as a nation 'cause we handled it stupid. (laughs) We, we had a big giant surge again. It's like we were, uh, we were doing real well. Everything was trending down, and then we have a big giant surge again. Now people are going out. Now places that weren't getting it are getting it again. (exhales loudly) We didn't do such a good job. It's not... You know, the... And the problem is, if the country's locked up, and we basically are, m- a big percentage of everybody's locked up, and we're economically fucked, and we're scared to do things, so we're like probably not that healthy. We're not, not as healthy as we normally are. And there's not as much money and people aren't working well. Well, what? This is not a strong country then. Like the, the country's only strong if everything's strong, like the economy's strong, the military's strong, the government's strong. When the economy's fucked and the people are unhealthy, like that is, that's the backbone of the whole country. This is a vulnerable country. That's where it gets weird. We don't ever wanna think that. We're like, "Oh, we don't have to worry about that anymore." But of course we do. That's history. History is countries taking over countries. History is countries figuring out a ways to dominate other countries. Who knows what they're doing today to each other? I mean, we hear about like Russian interference. Who knows what kind of fucking viruses we have on our computers?

    26. JDJoey Diaz56:26

        Oh, that mail-in fucking thing-

    27. JRJoe Rogan56:28

        (laughs)

    28. JDJoey Diaz56:28

        ... is gonna be a party and a half.

    29. JRJoe Rogan56:30

        (laughs)

    30. JDJoey Diaz56:30

        That is the biggest scam in the fucking world. That is the biggest fucking scam in the world. Already the post office is running fucking behind. Nevermind all those ballots. That's a scam and a half. That's a scam and a half, and it's terrible.
15. 1:03:21 – 1:16:50

    Power, policing, and Joey’s interrogation warfare (plus one-shoe psychological torture)

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:03:21

       There's something about people who have power, whether it's you're the mayor or the governor or you're the narcos or you're a cop, something about people having that kind of power over your life like that, with just a finger on the trigger, it's too much for most people to handle. It's too much. Most people can't handle it. That's, that's what you're saying, dude. Most people should not have the ability to just shoot you. (laughs) You can't shoot them but they can shoot you. If you don't listen, they can shoot you. If you're running away, they can shoot you. You come at them with a taser, they can shoot you. Like ... (exhales)

    2. BRBrian Redban1:03:52

       They need to, like, re- like, make a freeze gun, where you can just freeze them.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:03:56

       That's not a bad idea.

    4. BRBrian Redban1:03:58

       (laughs)

    5. JDJoey Diaz1:03:58

       Joe Rogan, nobody could (laughs) call a cop's life-

    6. BRBrian Redban1:04:02

       It's just too dark.

    7. JDJoey Diaz1:04:02

       ... until you're a fucking cop.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:04:05

       Yeah, it's too dark to understand what that job entails.

    9. JDJoey Diaz1:04:07

       You don't ... It's too dark to understand the entails.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:04:08

        Yeah.

    11. JDJoey Diaz1:04:09

        You know why I started going to jujitsu? So I could watch the UFCs and not feel guilty.

    12. BRBrian Redban1:04:15

        (laughs)

    13. JDJoey Diaz1:04:15

        Because I can't ... Nothing bothers me more when I see a blogger or an announcer that's never done a jumping jack.

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:04:21

        Mm.

    15. JDJoey Diaz1:04:22

        And he's trying to cover the UFC. Nothing bothers me more than that. So, I want you to understand, I grew up with guys that were cops. I talked to them. I saw how they had to blow steam off because of the things they saw. Yeah, they used their power, they fucked around, they were all bad lieutenants if you want to call it. But the job itself, unless you're doing it, man, it's weird.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:04:48

        It's so weird.

    17. JDJoey Diaz1:04:49

        It's a weird job. Do, do I-

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:04:51

        It's ... You're d- you live in a different world than everybody else.

    19. JDJoey Diaz1:04:53

        Do I appreciate poli- listen, I've been arrested, how many times have I been arrested?

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:04:57

        A million.

    21. JDJoey Diaz1:04:58

        I never had a fuck-

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:04:58

        You've been arrested a million times.

    23. BRBrian Redban1:04:59

        A million point one.

    24. JDJoey Diaz1:05:01

        I've never had a problem... I've never had a problem with a cop. I even had a cop pull over at a Chinese restaurant one time and let me get food handcuffed 'cause I hadn't eaten all day.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:05:08

        Well, you've got good cops and you're a good guy.

    26. JDJoey Diaz1:05:10

        Okay. And that's number three.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:05:11

        And you, you, you charmed them.

    28. JDJoey Diaz1:05:11

        Number three, I've never said the word pig on any podcast. When I went to jail, I went to jail on my own accord. It was my problem.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:05:18

        Yeah.

    30. JDJoey Diaz1:05:20

        I've never given a cop a problem. When they interrogated me, oh, I'll light you on fire. (Finger snaps) If you wanna get interrogated-

Episode duration: 3:31:49