Joe Rogan Experience #1526 - Ali Macofsky

1. 0:02 – 2:25

   Vapes, snacks, and the universal “poop story” icebreaker

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Hello, Ali. Oh-

   2. AMAli Macofsky0:03

      Hi.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      ... look at it, you fired up the vape? Is it the vape?

   4. AMAli Macofsky0:05

      Yeah. I brought two JUULs.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      So you brought cigarettes, two JUULs, and Camels.

   6. AMAli Macofsky0:09

      Coffee and a smoothie.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      Dude.

   8. AMAli Macofsky0:11

      I wasn't sure what to expect.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      What would you, what, what was your worst case scenario?

   10. AMAli Macofsky0:15

       Oh my God, worst case scenario, I poop my pants right off the bat.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:18

       Oh, have you done that before, like when you get nervous?

   12. AMAli Macofsky0:20

       Not when I get nervous, but I used to... Well, only once in college.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       You pooped your pants?

   14. AMAli Macofsky0:25

       Yeah, I was-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Were you drinking?

   16. AMAli Macofsky0:26

       Yeah, I was hungover, I ate Chipotle. I ate Chipotle pretty much every day in college.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       That's, uh, not good for your brain.

   18. AMAli Macofsky0:32

       It was not good at all.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       If you're trying to learn.

   20. AMAli Macofsky0:34

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Actually, Chipotle, like, those bowls? They are pretty good. Like-

   22. AMAli Macofsky0:37

       They're so good.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       ... like if you get, like, one of those steak bowls with rice, like, that's about as clean as you can eat.

   24. AMAli Macofsky0:43

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       Really.

   26. AMAli Macofsky0:43

       And in college it was nice because you could eat, like, half of a bowl and be, like, super full and then eat the other half later, and you can do the tricks of getting half steak, half chicken or something, that way-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       That's a trick?

   28. AMAli Macofsky0:55

       ... they give you more.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Oh, is that a trick?

   30. AMAli Macofsky0:56

       Kind of.
2. 2:25 – 3:24

   Procrastination, comics as “broken toys,” and finding a path to stand-up

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:25

      Why... Th- that is a psychological thing, the cramming thing. They, they say that some people, like, procrastinate until they know they just, they have to t- like, "Okay, I'm gonna stay up all night."

   2. AMAli Macofsky2:35

      I'm a procrastinator.

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:36

      Yeah.

   4. AMAli Macofsky2:36

      Always.

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:37

      But most comics are.

   6. AMAli Macofsky2:38

      You think so?

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:39

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there's something... Look, we're all broken. We're all broken toys.

   8. AMAli Macofsky2:43

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:44

      And (laughs) most, most comics, um, there's something about, like, the laziness and the non-conformity and, you know, the unwillingness to do drudgery. Is that a word? Yeah.

   10. AMAli Macofsky2:55

       I think so.

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:56

       Yeah, the un- unwillingness to do the, you know, like, boring, mundane life's choices-

   12. AMAli Macofsky3:02

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:02

       ... jobs. That's what leads people to comedy, like-

   14. AMAli Macofsky3:04

       Yes.

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:04

       ... "Oh, maybe I could just talk shit."

   16. AMAli Macofsky3:06

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:06

       Yeah.

   18. AMAli Macofsky3:06

       I literally thought... I always knew I wanted to, like, entertain people somehow. I didn't know exactly how until my senior year of high school, but before that I was like, "Maybe I'll be a singer or a comedian," you know?

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:18

       Well, you have a great voice.

   20. AMAli Macofsky3:19

       I have a decent voice.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:20

       You have a very good voice.

   22. AMAli Macofsky3:21

       Thank you.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:21

       Um, and you use it in your act sometimes.

   24. AMAli Macofsky3:23

       I try.

3. 3:24 – 6:33

   Starting stand-up as a teenager and sneaking into The Comedy Store

   1. JRJoe Rogan3:24

      You do. Um, you started doing standup, how old were you?

   2. AMAli Macofsky3:28

      I think I did my first open mic when I was, like, 17.

   3. JRJoe Rogan3:32

      Whoa.

   4. AMAli Macofsky3:32

      But I didn't start then.

   5. JRJoe Rogan3:33

      You were about as e- like, there's only one other person I know, O- Olivia Grace.

   6. AMAli Macofsky3:37

      Yes, I love Olivia.

   7. JRJoe Rogan3:38

      She... I met her at, I think it was Brea. She came up to me and she was, like, 16.

   8. AMAli Macofsky3:43

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:43

      And I was like, "What?"

   10. AMAli Macofsky3:44

       And she had been doing it since she was, like, 14 or 15.

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:47

       That's crazy.

   12. AMAli Macofsky3:47

       Crazy.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:48

       She's very funny too.

   14. AMAli Macofsky3:48

       She's so funny.

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:49

       And super cool.

   16. AMAli Macofsky3:50

       Yeah, so I, when I started, I was living in Long Beach at my parents' house, and so I would go back and forth between Orange County and LA. And Olivia was in Orange County, and she was, like, the first person my age, kind of-

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:03

       Mm-hmm.

   18. AMAli Macofsky4:03

       ... you know, that I, like, met. And so we became friends and I was like, I was like, "You're so funny." Like, it's so cool that she had already had so much time under her belt-

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:13

       Crazy.

   20. AMAli Macofsky4:13

       ... when I was, like, 18, you know?

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:14

       Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's, uh-

   22. AMAli Macofsky4:16

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan4:16

       That's a w- I, I didn't know you could start until you were 21.

   24. AMAli Macofsky4:19

       No, I didn't either. I had no idea. I thought... And I also didn't know that open mics happened at, like, coffee shops and bars and, like, literally anywhere-

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:28

       Yeah.

   26. AMAli Macofsky4:29

       ... at all. You know, laundromats.

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:31

       When I started, I waited until my 21st birthday, but then I met my friend Robbie and he was 19. I was like, "How did you get in?" And they're like, "You, they'll let you in, but you can't drink."

   28. AMAli Macofsky4:40

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:40

       I was like, "Oh."

   30. AMAli Macofsky4:41

       Yeah. I had my s- I-
4. 6:33 – 9:02

   Kill Tony to arenas: getting the call to open for Joe

   1. AMAli Macofsky6:33

      Like, in a small way. But, yeah, I'm super grateful for Kill Tony, 'cause I feel like that's what helped me become, like, more ingrained in the scene at The Store.

   2. JRJoe Rogan6:43

      Well, that's how I found out about you.

   3. AMAli Macofsky6:45

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:45

      Yeah. I found out about you through Kill Tony, and Tony kept raving about how good you were. And then I saw you do some sets. And your progression is, it's kind of a hilarious story, like, you opening for me.

   5. AMAli Macofsky6:55

      I know.

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:56

      Like, 'cause you did a couple shows at, like, The Improv, couple shows at, like, you know, The Comedy Store, and then I'm like, "Hey, you wanna do Vegas?"

   7. AMAli Macofsky7:05

      Well, no.

   8. JRJoe Rogan7:06

      (laughs)

   9. AMAli Macofsky7:07

      No. What happened was you had been the guest, like, on Kill Tony, and I was a regular, so you had seen one minute of my material, maybe two times.

   10. JRJoe Rogan7:15

       No, I'd seen you other times.

   11. AMAli Macofsky7:17

       But then-

   12. JRJoe Rogan7:17

       I'd been in the room while you were doing standup-

   13. AMAli Macofsky7:19

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan7:19

       ... a couple other times.

   15. AMAli Macofsky7:19

       But then you invited me. I remember Tony hit me up one day and he was like, "Hey, is it cool if I give Joe your phone number?" And I was like, "Joe..." And he was like, "Rogan?" I was like, (laughs) "What?"

   16. JRJoe Rogan7:33

       (laughs)

   17. AMAli Macofsky7:33

       I was like, "Yeah, of course." And so then you text me, you were like, "Hey, do you wanna do some shows at The Improv with me this week?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'm, of course." You're like, "Are you available?" I'm like, "Oh, I think I can be available for that."

   18. JRJoe Rogan7:44

       Well, I knew you were funny, you know? I mean, that's how I do it. I, when I think someone's funny, I'm like, all right, let's see.

   19. AMAli Macofsky7:50

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan7:50

       You know, let's see what they do in front of a packed house-

   21. AMAli Macofsky7:53

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan7:53

       ... you know, with, uh, Joey Diaz and Duncan Trussell and Ari Shaffir, and just like, let's see what's up.

   23. AMAli Macofsky7:59

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan7:59

       Let's see what's up.

   25. AMAli Macofsky8:00

       And then, and then I had been doing that for, for a couple months, I'd say.

   26. JRJoe Rogan8:03

       Mm-hmm.

   27. AMAli Macofsky8:03

       Just, like, doing the hosting spot or, like, little opening spots at The Improv and The Comedy Store. And then you were like, "Oh, I..." I was like, "Oh, I saw that you were gonna be in Vegas this week." Like, "I think I'm gonna drive and come watch you," 'cause I'd never seen you in, like, a bigger venue than a comedy club. And you, you were like, "Okay. Um, do you wanna open?" And I was like, "Well, I wasn't hoping you'd say that-

   28. JRJoe Rogan8:25

       (laughs)

   29. AMAli Macofsky8:25

       ... but I was kind of hoping you'd say that." (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan8:28

       So you did Vegas.
5. 9:02 – 13:07

   Room size, feedback, and the craft of improving jokes

   1. JRJoe Rogan9:02

      So you do The Mirage, which is, like, I think The Mirage is 1,300 people or 1,200 people. It's a good size place.

   2. AMAli Macofsky9:09

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan9:09

      It's a good size place. Then we do a fucking gigantic basketball arena. (laughs)

   4. AMAli Macofsky9:14

      You know what I think, you know what I think helped me with The Mirage? Was in my head, I was like, "1,200 is giant." I was like, "This is gonna be huge, crazy," and I, like, overhyped it so much that by the time I saw the venue, it was like... It was so beautiful and it felt intimate for some reason, you know?

   5. JRJoe Rogan9:32

      Well, it's the most intimate place in Vegas.

   6. AMAli Macofsky9:35

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan9:35

      In terms of, like, those big theaters that you can play.

   8. AMAli Macofsky9:37

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan9:37

      It's my favorite place in Vegas. I love it.

   10. AMAli Macofsky9:39

       So s- yeah. So as soon as I got there, I was like, "I got this."

   11. JRJoe Rogan9:42

       I used... I was doing bigger places there, and I came back to The Mirage just 'cause it's a better setup.

   12. AMAli Macofsky9:46

       Yeah. And I feel like the people who run that place-

   13. JRJoe Rogan9:49

       Oh, they're awesome.

   14. AMAli Macofsky9:49

       ... were really helpful.

   15. JRJoe Rogan9:50

       They're awesome.

   16. AMAli Macofsky9:50

       Cool.

   17. JRJoe Rogan9:50

       They're the best. They're the nicest folks. And they all love comedy-

   18. AMAli Macofsky9:53

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:53

       ... and it... You know, there you are. That's you, kid.

   20. AMAli Macofsky9:55

       Aw. Jamie was taking pictures.

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:57

       Yeah.

   22. AMAli Macofsky9:57

       I was like, "Can you get more? My mom really wants to see me."

   23. JRJoe Rogan9:59

       Yeah. It's too bad you can't really see the audience in there too, but, um-

   24. AMAli Macofsky10:03

       Very true.

   25. JRJoe Rogan10:03

       ... so then you go from that.

   26. AMAli Macofsky10:05

       Well-

   27. JRJoe Rogan10:05

       What, what arena did we do?

   28. AMAli Macofsky10:08

       We went to, I believe, Denver.

   29. JRJoe Rogan10:12

       Was it Portland?

   30. AMAli Macofsky10:13

       Oh, yeah, it was the Moda Center.
6. 13:07 – 16:23

   Quarantine comedy: Zoom shows, stalled momentum, and COVID reality checks

   1. JRJoe Rogan13:07

      How much comedy have you done during the quarantine?

   2. AMAli Macofsky13:10

      Um, I've done a decent amount of Zoom shows, and then, um-

   3. JRJoe Rogan13:15

      How weird are those?

   4. AMAli Macofsky13:16

      They're weird. I kind of just, like, I think I grew up always being, like, on the internet and interacting with strangers online. So I, I felt like I was prepared for something like a Zoom show, and I also was like, "Okay, don't look ... Don't expect to get anything out of this or get the same feeling out of this. Like, just have fun, engage with the people watching as best you can, and, like, see where it goes. Have no expectations."

   5. JRJoe Rogan13:42

      It's just something to do, right?

   6. AMAli Macofsky13:43

      But it fucking sucks.

   7. JRJoe Rogan13:43

      Yeah.

   8. AMAli Macofsky13:43

      Yeah, it fucking blows.

   9. JRJoe Rogan13:45

      M- Mark Normand said it best, he said, like, it's like methadone comedy.

   10. AMAli Macofsky13:48

       (laughs) Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan13:49

       He's like, you know, he w- (laughs) he was talking about how he did, uh, standup in the park when he was bombing.

   12. AMAli Macofsky13:53

       Yes, I was watching his YouTube, Park Normand.

   13. JRJoe Rogan13:56

       (laughs)

   14. AMAli Macofsky13:56

       So good.

   15. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       But it's, you know, we're all, like, desperate to get back.

   16. AMAli Macofsky14:01

       I know.

   17. JRJoe Rogan14:01

       And, and LA we're not doing any comedy, but New York is doing standup again.

   18. AMAli Macofsky14:05

       Yeah, I've seen that.

   19. JRJoe Rogan14:06

       Yeah. Which is crazy. Like-

   20. AMAli Macofsky14:07

       I f- I feel like I'm starting to see some shows. My friends are doing some shows outdoors here. So I don't know, I'm c- kind of hopeful, but I'm also, like, if, if I get an offer to go to a state that's open and doing comedy, I would take it.

   21. JRJoe Rogan14:23

       Are you taking vitamins? Are you taking care of yourself? You just tested negative.

   22. AMAli Macofsky14:27

       I just tested negative.

   23. JRJoe Rogan14:28

       So you don't have the vid.

   24. AMAli Macofsky14:29

       I don't, I don't got the Covie, but I've been getting tested a lot because my sister just moved to Arizona last year.

   25. JRJoe Rogan14:36

       Mm-hmm.

   26. AMAli Macofsky14:37

       So I've been going out there a lot, which is hot for the 'Rona.

   27. JRJoe Rogan14:41

       Yeah. Yeah. Um-

   28. AMAli Macofsky14:42

       And so I've been getting tested really frequently and ...

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:46

       Whenever they say, like, it's hot for the 'Rona, I always wonder, like, what makes some place hotter than others? Like, why, why are other places more susceptible? Like, what's going on there?

   30. AMAli Macofsky14:54

       I don't know. Well, I guess with Arizona everything's open.
7. 16:23 – 22:29

   Nicotine addiction, cigarettes vs. JUUL, and diet confessions

   1. JRJoe Rogan16:23

      I was like, "What's that sound?" How a- how addicted to those things are you now?

   2. AMAli Macofsky16:26

      So addicted.

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:27

      Yeah?

   4. AMAli Macofsky16:27

      Completely addicted. Yeah. Well, when I was (laughs) at my mom's house during lockdown, my mom's a smoker.

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:34

      Oh, boy.

   6. AMAli Macofsky16:34

      I know.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:35

      It's this, it's this weird thing when they get to be a certain age and they're still smoking all the time, like-

   8. AMAli Macofsky16:39

      I know.

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:39

      ... ooh, you are on the edge, huh?

   10. AMAli Macofsky16:41

       Well, she was trying to read that book, Allen Carr's book to-

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:44

       What book?

   12. AMAli Macofsky16:44

       ... stop smoking.

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:45

       How about you stop smoking?

   14. AMAli Macofsky16:47

       All right. Well, I guess if you've been doing it all your life, I don't know.

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:51

       Take up another hobby.

   16. AMAli Macofsky16:52

       I know. You'll have to talk to her.

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:53

       She's not gonna listen.

   18. AMAli Macofsky16:53

       We'll get her on the pod. (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:55

       No one's gonna listen.

   20. AMAli Macofsky16:55

       She's not, yeah. No. When you're, when you're in it, you're in it, you know? But when I was with her, she was smoking and I'm like, "I don't wanna be smoking." Like ... 'Cause my mom always says, "Don't smoke, it's bad." And I've just been smoking since I was, like, 17.

   21. JRJoe Rogan17:08

       Oof.

   22. AMAli Macofsky17:09

       But I quit for two months, off nic-, off, like, the Juul, off cigarettes-

   23. JRJoe Rogan17:14

       When did you do that? When?

   24. AMAli Macofsky17:14

       Um, at the beginning of lockdown, for two months.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:16

       So why'd you start back up again?

   26. AMAli Macofsky17:17

       'Cause then I came back home to LA and I was like ...

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:20

       What was the first one like? Did you know that you were being a loser-

   28. AMAli Macofsky17:23

       No.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:23

       ... when you were reaching for that first one?

   30. AMAli Macofsky17:24

       Well, that's-
8. 22:29 – 35:53

   Money stress, rent, unemployment, and fear for cities

   1. AMAli Macofsky22:29

      I'm on food stamps now.

   2. JRJoe Rogan22:30

      Are you?

   3. AMAli Macofsky22:31

      Yeah. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan22:31

      That's so crazy.

   5. AMAli Macofsky22:32

      I know. I'm on unemployment.

   6. JRJoe Rogan22:34

      Phew. That's crazy. How much are they giving ya? How much do they give you for unemployment?

   7. AMAli Macofsky22:38

      I think I, you have to, like, put in all of your information and, like, you know, whatever. And so I think I'm getting, like, $400 a week.

   8. JRJoe Rogan22:47

      Hmm. The good news is you're, you're living with your mom, right? So y-

   9. AMAli Macofsky22:50

      No, I'm living at my house.

   10. JRJoe Rogan22:51

       Oh, you are?

   11. AMAli Macofsky22:52

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan22:52

       Yeah. Well, you were with your mom for a little while?

   13. AMAli Macofsky22:54

       I, uh, yeah, but I kept my place 'cause I was like, "Who knows how long this is gonna last? Who knows if I wanna stay at my mom's house?" Whatever. Like, it's nice to know I have that as an option 'cause my parents live, like, in the greater Los Angeles area, but-

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:05

       I read that they're going to, uh, there was a ban on evictions and, and, l- and, you know, and making peop- forcing people to pay rent.

   15. AMAli Macofsky23:15

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:15

       But that's gonna go up September 1st. They're gonna force people to start paying again. And I'm like, "Okay, but-"

   17. AMAli Macofsky23:20

       I've just been paying my rent.

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:22

       But what happens to those people? If you have five months of back rent and the rent is $3,000 a month-

   19. AMAli Macofsky23:29

       I know.

   20. JRJoe Rogan23:29

       ... or something like that, that's crazy.

   21. AMAli Macofsky23:30

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan23:30

       And then all of a sudden you have to pay it all?

   23. AMAli Macofsky23:32

       Yeah, it makes no sense. It, that's why I was like, "I'm gonna pay mine now," because I, who knows how much money I'm gonna have saved up-

   24. JRJoe Rogan23:40

       Yeah.

   25. AMAli Macofsky23:40

       ... after this, so I might as well just pay. Luckily my rent is, like, cheap, so it's manageable. Um, and if I ever was in a pinch, like, I know my parents would help me out.

   26. JRJoe Rogan23:49

       How long did you think this was gonna last?

   27. AMAli Macofsky23:52

       Uh, I've, everyone was saying it was gonna last, like, three months. But I was like, "This is gonna last longer." There's no way things are just gonna be like, "Okay, if we do this, it's all gonna go back to normal." It just felt too big for it to be over that quickly.

   28. JRJoe Rogan24:07

       Well, I was optimistic, unfortunately.

   29. AMAli Macofsky24:10

       Hmm.

   30. JRJoe Rogan24:10

       I, I really did think it was gonna be three months. I thought it was gonna be two months, really.
9. 35:53 – 38:42

   TikTok: privacy fears, algorithm hooks, and influencer house culture

   1. JRJoe Rogan35:53

      The Chinese government is watching you.

   2. AMAli Macofsky35:55

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan35:55

      Um-

   4. AMAli Macofsky35:55

      Do you think they're actually gonna ban it?

   5. JRJoe Rogan35:57

      Yes. I think they're gonna force a sale, that's what I think.

   6. AMAli Macofsky36:00

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan36:00

      I think probably some big American tech company's gonna buy it. Because, um, there was a group of softw- uh, I don't know if a group or some software engineer that, uh, back engineered TikTok-

   8. AMAli Macofsky36:10

      Mm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan36:10

      ... and they said, "This is the worst application we have ever seen in terms of violation of privacy."

   10. AMAli Macofsky36:15

       Whoa.

   11. JRJoe Rogan36:16

       It's the worst. Like, it tracks fucking everything. And it, they-

   12. AMAli Macofsky36:20

       But it-

   13. JRJoe Rogan36:20

       ... send that information directly to the Chinese government, so they're, they're data mining.

   14. AMAli Macofsky36:23

       Is it bad that I-

   15. JRJoe Rogan36:25

       Don't give a fuck?

   16. AMAli Macofsky36:25

       ... don't give a fuck? Should I care more that people are taking my privacy?

   17. JRJoe Rogan36:30

       Um-... this is how I feel about that.

   18. AMAli Macofsky36:33

       Okay, tell me.

   19. JRJoe Rogan36:33

       You are a 24-year-old standup comedian.

   20. AMAli Macofsky36:37

       25 next month.

   21. JRJoe Rogan36:38

       So, you're like, "What am I gonna do? What are you gonna do? What, are you gonna find out where I shit?"

   22. AMAli Macofsky36:41

       Yeah. Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan36:42

       "Are you gonna find out where I take naps?"

   24. AMAli Macofsky36:43

       I keep my laptop on with the camera on when I'm pooping, just in case.

   25. JRJoe Rogan36:47

       Hmm.

   26. AMAli Macofsky36:47

       If the government's watching, I want them to get the full range of me, you know?

   27. JRJoe Rogan36:50

       I- I feel like if they're wa- they're paying attention like hedge fund guys who are trying to overthrow governments.

   28. AMAli Macofsky36:56

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan36:56

       You know, they're- they're paying attention to like, important shit.

   30. AMAli Macofsky36:57

       They don't care about me?
10. 38:42 – 46:23

    Comedy honesty, roasting culture, tattoos, and bombing stories

    1. JRJoe Rogan38:42

       And this is something that I'm sure people are gonna be pissed about, but this is a- a perfect example of what I like. I don't need everyone to be serious and/or telling the truth.

    2. AMAli Macofsky38:54

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan38:55

       And I like the fact that I can tell the difference.

    4. AMAli Macofsky38:58

       Yes.

    5. JRJoe Rogan38:58

       And I- I like when people say outrageous shit that they don't really mean.

    6. AMAli Macofsky39:01

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan39:02

       And I'm v- that's one of the things that frustrates me the most about this internet culture, is that people love to take something like, that Tim Dillon would say in this clip and put it in quotes and pretend that he really means it. Play that.

    8. AMAli Macofsky39:12

       And have it totally out of context.

    9. JRJoe Rogan39:14

       Are you getting it? Oh, it's- it's actually a fairly large video. (laughs) Should I, um... You got it? Oh, you got it. Yeah, put it up there and then give us some volume. This is, uh, Tim Dillon taking his COVID test. Here we go. I'll put it on the internet after the podcast.

    10. G3Guest 339:35

        Woo!

    11. AMAli Macofsky39:37

        (laughs)

    12. JRJoe Rogan39:38

        How's that, buddy? I don't like it. (laughs) You don't like it? I don't like it. This disease doesn't exist. What?

    13. NANarrator39:44

        (laughing)

    14. JRJoe Rogan39:44

        You are... This is outrageous. I can't even put this on the internet. It does not exist. It's fake. Oh, no.

    15. NANarrator39:51

        (laughing)

    16. JRJoe Rogan39:52

        See, now there's a lot of people that'd be like... (laughs) That's Jamie. (laughs)

    17. AMAli Macofsky39:59

        (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan39:59

        That's his, his emoji.

    19. AMAli Macofsky39:59

        His emoji.

    20. JRJoe Rogan39:59

        His laugh, his smile. He added his emoji. But it's like, there's so many people that'd be like, "You know how many fucking people died?"

    21. AMAli Macofsky40:05

        I know.

    22. JRJoe Rogan40:05

        "147,000 Americans." That's what they would do. They would take that clip-

    23. AMAli Macofsky40:09

        Yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan40:09

        ... and then they'd go, "Oh, you're yucking it up? Ha ha ha. Grandma's dead."

    25. AMAli Macofsky40:13

        Yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan40:13

        And-

    27. AMAli Macofsky40:13

        What are we supposed to do? Be sad about grandma all the time?

    28. JRJoe Rogan40:16

        All the time.

    29. AMAli Macofsky40:17

        All the time we're supposed to be sad.

    30. JRJoe Rogan40:18

        24/7.
11. 46:23 – 49:44

    Sobriety and the myth that comics must party

    1. JRJoe Rogan46:23

       You don't drink.

    2. AMAli Macofsky46:23

       I don't drink.

    3. JRJoe Rogan46:23

       When did you stop with the boozing and everything else?

    4. AMAli Macofsky46:26

       Um, I stopped everything, uh, the day after Halloween of 2015.

    5. JRJoe Rogan46:32

       Was it a rough Halloween?

    6. AMAli Macofsky46:33

       It was a rough Halloween, yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan46:35

       (laughs)

    8. AMAli Macofsky46:35

       Not one of my best moments.

    9. JRJoe Rogan46:37

       So 2000 ... You were 19 then?

    10. AMAli Macofsky46:39

        I was 19. Mm ...

    11. JRJoe Rogan46:40

        Wow.

    12. AMAli Macofsky46:40

        I think I was 20.

    13. JRJoe Rogan46:42

        Hmm.

    14. AMAli Macofsky46:42

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan46:43

        So right around then.

    16. AMAli Macofsky46:44

        Yeah, 'cause I ... Yeah. I, um, I woke up half naked on my dad's couch, and I was like, "This is not the way I want to be waking up."

    17. JRJoe Rogan46:53

        (laughs)

    18. AMAli Macofsky46:53

        This is not a pretty sight.

    19. JRJoe Rogan46:55

        Were you out all night or ...

    20. AMAli Macofsky46:57

        Yeah. And I was like ... I was moving to LA November 1st, 2015, and I was like, "Okay, I still want to go out for Halloween, but I, like-"

    21. JRJoe Rogan47:05

        (laughs)

    22. AMAli Macofsky47:05

        "... need to be respectful." No, no hard alcohol, just, like, a couple beers, get your shit together, don't be a piece of shit. Blacked out-

    23. JRJoe Rogan47:13

        That's amazing.

    24. AMAli Macofsky47:14

        ... woke up half naked. So whenever people are like, "How long have you lived in LA?" I'm like, "Uh, four years, seven months, you know, whatever days."

    25. JRJoe Rogan47:22

        Right. You can g- get it down to the-

    26. AMAli Macofsky47:24

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan47:24

        ... Alcoholics Anonymous chip.

    28. AMAli Macofsky47:26

        Yes, yes, yes.

    29. JRJoe Rogan47:26

        (laughs)

    30. AMAli Macofsky47:27

        Yeah.
12. 49:44 – 1:33:05

    Writing principles: Bill Hicks, Ron Funches, and finding your voice

    1. JRJoe Rogan49:44

       That was one of the things that Hicks said, like, just try to be, try to be interesting. He had like a... See if you can find this. He had like a rules to comedy thing that he wrote that's very insightful. It's really int- I mean, I mean when you think about the guy died, I think he was only like 33-

    2. AMAli Macofsky49:58

       Damn.

    3. JRJoe Rogan49:58

       ... when he died. Yeah. He was just really fucking smart.

    4. AMAli Macofsky50:02

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan50:03

       You know, just really smart and also started comedy really young. (clears throat) So here it is. Bill Hicks' principles of comedy. "If you can be yourself on stage, nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered." "Your, the act is something you fall back on if you can't think of anything else to say." Number three, "Only what, only do what you think is funny, never just what you think they will like, even though it's not that funny to you." Number four, "Never ask them, 'Is this funny?'" You tell them this is funny. Number five, "You are not married to any of this shit. If something happens, taking off on a tangent, never go back and finish a bit, just move on." Number six, "Never ask the audience, 'How you doing?'" People who do that can't think of an opening line. They came to see you tell them how they're doing. Asking that stupid question up front just digs a hole. This is the most common mistake." I like how he writes that in all caps.

    6. AMAli Macofsky51:02

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan51:02

       "THIS IS THE MOST COMMON MISTAKE" with a... Well, not all caps, front word, uh, first letter caps. "The most common mistake made by performers. I want to leave as soon as they say that." Number seven, "Write what entertains you. If you can't be funny, be interesting." That's what I was talking about. "You haven't lost the crowd. Have something to say and then do it in a funny way." Number eight, "I close my eyes and walk out there and that's where I start." Honest. Number nine, "Listen to what you are saying."

    8. AMAli Macofsky51:31

       (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan51:31

       "Ask yourself, 'Why am I saying it and is it necessary?'" This will filter all your material and cut the unnecessary words. Economy of words.

    10. AMAli Macofsky51:42

        You're super into that.

    11. JRJoe Rogan51:43

        Economy of words-

    12. AMAli Macofsky51:43

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan51:43

        ... is everything. It's everything with jokes. Number 10, "Play to the top of the intelligence of the room. There aren't any bad crowds, just wrong choices." That's not true.

    14. AMAli Macofsky51:52

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan51:53

        That's just not true. There are definitely bad crowds. Number 11, "Remember this is the hardest thing there is to do." That's not true. Being a soldier, way fucking harder. "If you can do this, you can do anything." Nope, you can't tell people jokes and then do brain surgery.

    16. AMAli Macofsky52:08

        I can't do shit.

    17. JRJoe Rogan52:09

        Yeah, that's not true.

    18. AMAli Macofsky52:10

        I'm useless.

    19. JRJoe Rogan52:11

        Number 12, "I love my cracker roots. Get to know your family, be friends with them." Well, that's not the worst advice. But the all, the, the thing that is a problem with any of that stuff is, "This is how you do it." The beautiful thing about comedy is there is no, "This is how you do it."

    20. AMAli Macofsky52:26

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan52:26

        Like, there's Mitch Hedberg and there's Sam Kinison.

    22. AMAli Macofsky52:29

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan52:29

        Those are two g- all-time greats. There's Richard Pryor and there's Louis C.K. There's Dave Chappelle and there's Emo Philips.

    24. AMAli Macofsky52:37

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan52:37

        There's Bobcat Goldthwait and there's fucking, you know. I mean, there's, you can do that all day. There's-

    26. AMAli Macofsky52:42

        But I think that just goes back to, like, just be who you are on stage.

    27. JRJoe Rogan52:45

        Yes. Yes. But also do what you feel like doing. Like, Gaffigan likes to do his kind of comedy.

    28. AMAli Macofsky52:52

        Yeah.

    29. JRJoe Rogan52:52

        Right? If all of a sudden Gaffigan had to do like, uh, you know, someone else's act, like Bobby Lee or something like that, like, it wouldn't be... It's not what he's interested in-

    30. AMAli Macofsky53:01

        Yeah.

Episode duration: 2:32:29