Joe Rogan Experience #1526 - Ali Macofsky

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Hello, Ali. Oh- …

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Hello, Ali. Oh-

   2. AMAli Macofsky0:03

      Hi.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      ... look at it, you fired up the vape? Is it the vape?

   4. AMAli Macofsky0:05

      Yeah. I brought two JUULs.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      So you brought cigarettes, two JUULs, and Camels.

   6. AMAli Macofsky0:09

      Coffee and a smoothie.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      Dude.

   8. AMAli Macofsky0:11

      I wasn't sure what to expect.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      What would you, what, what was your worst case scenario?

   10. AMAli Macofsky0:15

       Oh my God, worst case scenario, I poop my pants right off the bat.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:18

       Oh, have you done that before, like when you get nervous?

   12. AMAli Macofsky0:20

       Not when I get nervous, but I used to... Well, only once in college.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       You pooped your pants?

   14. AMAli Macofsky0:25

       Yeah, I was-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Were you drinking?

   16. AMAli Macofsky0:26

       Yeah, I was hungover, I ate Chipotle. I ate Chipotle pretty much every day in college.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       That's, uh, not good for your brain.

   18. AMAli Macofsky0:32

       It was not good at all.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       If you're trying to learn.

   20. AMAli Macofsky0:34

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Actually, Chipotle, like, those bowls? They are pretty good. Like-

   22. AMAli Macofsky0:37

       They're so good.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       ... like if you get, like, one of those steak bowls with rice, like, that's about as clean as you can eat.

   24. AMAli Macofsky0:43

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       Really.

   26. AMAli Macofsky0:43

       And in college it was nice because you could eat, like, half of a bowl and be, like, super full and then eat the other half later, and you can do the tricks of getting half steak, half chicken or something, that way-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       That's a trick?

   28. AMAli Macofsky0:55

       ... they give you more.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Oh, is that a trick?

   30. AMAli Macofsky0:56

       Kind of.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      a fuck.

   2. AMAli Macofsky15:00

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Well, that's a wild west town.

   4. AMAli Macofsky15:02

      I know. I told them, I'm like, "They're the COVID cowboys."

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      Yeah.

   6. AMAli Macofsky15:04

      They're wearing maskless chaps.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      (laughs) They, they have open carry. Like, you could have a gun in your pocket-

   8. AMAli Macofsky15:10

      I know. I was-

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      ... and just walk into a store.

   10. AMAli Macofsky15:11

       I did a show in Arizona, I was like, "What are you guys gonna do, shoot COVID when you see it?"

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:14

       (laughs)

   12. AMAli Macofsky15:15

       "Is that your defense?"

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:16

       Well, f- in their defense, like, they're on the border of Mexico, and that is a place that has literally changed very little since people came across the fucking country in covered wagons.

   14. AMAli Macofsky15:25

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:26

       Like, that's Arizona.

   16. AMAli Macofsky15:27

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       You know, like, Arizona, like, Phoenix is as big as it gets.

   18. AMAli Macofsky15:30

       I love Arizona.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       It's great. I love it there.

   20. AMAli Macofsky15:32

       I love it. It's so beautiful.

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       Yeah.

   22. AMAli Macofsky15:34

       There's so much to do.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:35

       I filmed my 2005 special there.

   24. AMAli Macofsky15:37

       Okay, brag.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       Yeah. I love it there.

   26. AMAli Macofsky15:39

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       Uh, I, I've been going there forever. I, I just love that Tempe Improv, that place is great.

   28. AMAli Macofsky15:43

       Dude, Tempe is my favorite. That was the first place I headlined. And the, Casey, the manager there, one of the best people ever. He just, like, I feel like every comedy club manager should, like, take a class under Casey, because he's, like, so compassionate and he gets it and he's, like, not full of bullshit. He's just, like, an honest, caring dude. I feel like he rubs that, he runs that club so well.

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       Well, that place has a history of cool people running it, 'cause Adam Eget used to be there.

   30. AMAli Macofsky16:12

       Yeah.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      are just human beings, but they have a whole different way of doing things. Like you go there, you're like, "Oh, look how they do it." Like-

   2. AMAli Macofsky30:05

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:06

      ... you walk down the street, everybody's like real polite. Like, nobody's bumping into each other or yelling at each other. It's like very orderly.

   4. AMAli Macofsky30:12

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:12

      And, you know, it's, it's interesting. It's like really packed with people, but there's no litter.

   6. AMAli Macofsky30:17

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:18

      It's-

   8. AMAli Macofsky30:18

      What's your favorite country you've been to?

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:22

      Well, I'm a big fan of America. Um, I love Canada.

   10. AMAli Macofsky30:27

       I've never been.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       I mean, I guess that's kind of a country-

   12. AMAli Macofsky30:28

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       ... that's separate from us because you could walk over there, but I mean, s- you could walk to Mexico too.

   14. AMAli Macofsky30:33

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:33

       I, I love Canada perform. They're fuck... They're so nice up there. They're like America, but the, I always say with 20% less douchebags.

   16. AMAli Macofsky30:39

       Mm. That's nice.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:41

       They're fucking nice.

   18. AMAli Macofsky30:42

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       They're really nice. And it's cold. And they... So it violates my, uh, dickhead cold weather theory.

   20. AMAli Macofsky30:47

       Mm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       I used to have a dickhead cold weather theory 'cause I grew up in Boston.

   22. AMAli Macofsky30:50

       Boston.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       I was like, "Why is there always such dickheads here?"

   24. AMAli Macofsky30:52

       'Cause it's fucking freezing, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       'Cause it's so cold. But it's not, 'cause Canada's colder than that and they're nice. If you go from Boston to Montreal, it'll ruin your dickhead cold weather theory.

   26. AMAli Macofsky31:00

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:00

       'Cause I'm like, "Well, it's fucking colder here and people are nice."

   28. AMAli Macofsky31:02

       Hmm.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       It maybe gets so cold that they're forced to be nice.

   30. AMAli Macofsky31:06

       Ah, yeah, 'cause they're all struggling.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      damaging our relationship 'cause now I can't listen to you 'cause now-

   2. AMAli Macofsky45:03

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:03

      ... I know ... I think you're full of shit.

   4. AMAli Macofsky45:04

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      That's not good.

   6. AMAli Macofsky45:06

      Ugh. Remember, uh, remember when we were in St. Paul in f- in the arena, and I said, "What's up, St. Louis?"

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      (laughs)

   8. AMAli Macofsky45:15

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:18

      That was rough.

   10. AMAli Macofsky45:19

       Oh, my god.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       You barely recovered from that one.

   12. AMAli Macofsky45:22

       I thought I was gonna get burned alive after the show.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       Ooh, they got mad.

   14. AMAli Macofsky45:26

       And I opened it up. I was the first one on stage. I was, like, so excited. I'm like, "What's up?"

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       Oh, no.

   16. AMAli Macofsky45:32

       Dead silence, and I'm like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       Oh, no.

   18. AMAli Macofsky45:34

       ... "That's, that's not how this works."

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:36

       Oh, no, yeah.

   20. AMAli Macofsky45:37

       Ooh. But then I recovered, thank God.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       I think I've done that before. I think I called Minneapolis, Michigan once.

   22. AMAli Macofsky45:44

       Yeah, I, I retired saying, "What's up," wherever I'm at. (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       What's up?

   24. AMAli Macofsky45:47

       I'm like, I'll just get into it.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       Yeah. Well, there, there's some places that demand respect. Like, if you go to New York and you call it Philly, your show's over.

   26. AMAli Macofsky45:55

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       "What's up, Philly?" What uh ... They would just, "Boo! That's a mistake you can't make."

   28. AMAli Macofsky46:01

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       "Boo!"

   30. AMAli Macofsky46:02

       Oh, my god.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:01

   This is just guesswork.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      This is just guesswork. And they're like, "We're- we're going on science." No, you're not.

   2. AMAli Macofsky1:00:04

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

      Stop saying that. You're not going on science, because if you were, you'd be telling people to take vitamin D. You'd be telling people to take zinc. You'd be telling people large doses of vitamin C. You'd be handing that shit out. You'd be on every corner. People would be able to get vitamin D, vitamin C, and zinc. You'd pass it out. You don't- you don't know what you're doing.

   4. AMAli Macofsky1:00:19

      Is that the magic vitamins?

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      That's the big combination, vitamin D, vitamin C, and zinc. The- but the virus apparently has a very difficult time replicating in your system when you have all those things.

   6. AMAli Macofsky1:00:30

      Hmm.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

      And this is all, they don't know why, they don't exactly know what's- what the deal is. But there's some direct evidence that points to that, including a bunch of studies that have been done on people that are in the ICU, where more than 80% of them in the ICU have low levels of vitamin D, insufficient levels of vitamin D. Only 4% have sufficient levels.

   8. AMAli Macofsky1:00:50

      Is vitamin D the sun one?

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

      Yes.

   10. AMAli Macofsky1:00:52

       Okay.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:53

       That's one that we have a real problem with.

   12. AMAli Macofsky1:00:54

       I've been going to the beach a lot.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:56

       Well, that's good.

   14. AMAli Macofsky1:00:57

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       You need to take it too, though.

   16. AMAli Macofsky1:00:58

       Oh.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       Unfortunately, because we're really supposed to be outside all day. These- all this house shit, that's not really, uh-

   18. AMAli Macofsky1:01:04

       (laughs) I don't-

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       ... nature doesn't know what we're doing.

   20. AMAli Macofsky1:01:06

       Yeah. I-

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       Nature's like, "Why are you bitches... Where's your sun?"

   22. AMAli Macofsky1:01:08

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:09

       Like, we're designed to get sun all the time.

   24. AMAli Macofsky1:01:12

       I always think about your joke. You know when there's certain people... I've told you this before, but there's certain jokes that just always stand out to you. Like, you always just kind of, like, think about them. The joke about, uh, about houses and how underwater there's no houses. There's nowhere to hide.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:28

       Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That it's the- the most dangerous neighborhood-

   26. AMAli Macofsky1:01:31

       Yeah. (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       ... in the world is the ocean.

   28. AMAli Macofsky1:01:33

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:33

       'Cause there's nowhere to hide.

   30. AMAli Macofsky1:01:34

       But it's so true. It's like-

Episode duration: 2:32:29