Joe Rogan Experience #1529 - Whitney Cummings & Annie Lederman

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Doo, doo. First of…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      Doo, doo. First of all, how do you two not have a show together?

   2. WCWhitney Cummings0:03

      (laughs) I don't know.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      'Cause hanging, hanging with you guys the other night-

   4. WCWhitney Cummings0:05

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      ... at the store, first of all, how much fun was that?

   6. WCWhitney Cummings0:08

      The best.

   7. ALAnnie Lederman0:09

      It was so much fun.

   8. WCWhitney Cummings0:10

      It was so fun. But is that what it... I can't remember 'cause it's been so long. It's been like six months now. Was that what every night was like?

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      A lot of nights were like that.

   10. WCWhitney Cummings0:16

       Yeah.

   11. ALAnnie Lederman0:16

       We just had the craziest... Like a circus freak night.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       Just fun-

   13. WCWhitney Cummings0:19

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       ... just laughing constantly.

   15. WCWhitney Cummings0:21

       The best. Oh my God.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       We used to go to the back bar and crack each other up.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings0:24

       Yep.

   18. ALAnnie Lederman0:24

       Mm-hmm.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       That was the constant thing.

   20. WCWhitney Cummings0:25

       For hours.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       It was either in the back bar or the back smoking area, and everybody was laughing.

   22. ALAnnie Lederman0:29

       Yep.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       And y- you get like a low-grade depression-

   24. WCWhitney Cummings0:32

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       ... when you're not around it. And you forget.

   26. WCWhitney Cummings0:33

       Yeah, it's so true.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       You forget for months and months and months. And then we had one night where we were all like, "Ah!"

   28. WCWhitney Cummings0:39

       (laughs)

   29. ALAnnie Lederman0:39

       (laughs)

   30. WCWhitney Cummings0:39

       That's so true.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      sleep."

   2. ALAnnie Lederman15:00

      Yeah.

   3. WCWhitney Cummings15:00

      Well, isn't that what was in that book, Irresistible, that you were just posting about? Our brains are wired to need completion?

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      Mm-hmm, right.

   5. WCWhitney Cummings15:06

      Like, we have to get to the end of something. Even if you're watching a shitty movie, if someone turns it off, you're like, "I have to fucking know how it ends, even though it sucks."

   6. ALAnnie Lederman15:11

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      (sighs) That's why-

   8. WCWhitney Cummings15:12

      You're not edging with this movie, no matter what's in it.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      No Country for Old Men was disappointing-

   10. ALAnnie Lederman15:15

       Oh.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings15:15

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:15

       ... for a lot of people, 'cause the end, you're like, "Hey, that guy is okay? He gets away?"

   13. ALAnnie Lederman15:20

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       What the fuck?

   15. WCWhitney Cummings15:21

       That's a wild movie.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:23

       That's a wild movie.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings15:24

       (laughs) I re-watched a lot of classic movies over the last six months 'cause we haven't been able to do anything. And I re-watched that shit. That shit is insane.

   18. ALAnnie Lederman15:31

       Yeah.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings15:31

       That hair ... The weirdest part, the haircut is the craziest part.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       His haircut's amazing.

   21. WCWhitney Cummings15:35

       (laughs)

   22. ALAnnie Lederman15:35

       Yeah, it's a distor- ... He is disturbing looking.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       That dude is so good.

   24. WCWhitney Cummings15:38

       Wait, is that what I look like right now? (laughs)

   25. ALAnnie Lederman15:42

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       (laughs)

   27. WCWhitney Cummings15:42

       Wait a second.

   28. ALAnnie Lederman15:44

       He has your eye bags winning.

   29. WCWhitney Cummings15:46

       That's me in 10 years when I go full Joan Rivers.

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:47

       What is, what is his name again?
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   What did she say?…

   1. ALAnnie Lederman30:01

   2. WCWhitney Cummings30:01

      What did she say?

   3. ALAnnie Lederman30:02

      ... paperweights that fit on your knuckles.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      You carry that little taser around with you?

   5. WCWhitney Cummings30:05

      This whole thing with me. Yeah, I put it in my fanny pack.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:06

      Have you ever tased yourself to see what it feels like?

   7. WCWhitney Cummings30:08

      No.

   8. ALAnnie Lederman30:08

      I wanna do it.

   9. WCWhitney Cummings30:09

      Should we?

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:09

       Nope.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings30:09

       We have got to get more views to David Blaine.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:12

       What if Annie dies? What if Annie dies?

   13. ALAnnie Lederman30:13

       (laughs)

   14. WCWhitney Cummings30:13

       That'd be-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:13

       What if it just turns out that that's her Achilles heel?

   16. WCWhitney Cummings30:15

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:16

       Just... Just falls over, I'm like, "She had so much promise."

   18. WCWhitney Cummings30:18

       No.

   19. ALAnnie Lederman30:18

       I've been having a good week, so this is a good week to die. (laughs)

   20. WCWhitney Cummings30:22

       (laughs) For someone that used to drink Jager, this is gonna be fucking nothing.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       So that's your thing? So when like a mountain lion comes after you, you just, just fucking knuckle punch him with that thing?

   22. ALAnnie Lederman30:30

       She has to protect her dogs from you.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:31

       Wow.

   24. WCWhitney Cummings30:32

       He has to like heat up.

   25. ALAnnie Lederman30:33

       They look like elk. They're big.

   26. JRJoe Rogan30:35

       (imitates elk bugling)

   27. WCWhitney Cummings30:35

       And then I have that little hammer in my car for...

   28. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       Wait a minute, it has to heat up?

   29. WCWhitney Cummings30:38

       It does have to heat up. I know, I'm dead.

   30. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       What? Are you serious?
4. 45:00 – 51:29

   Jesus. I'm like, "Just..."…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      and what they decide is obscenity and violates the law, so they put him in fucking jail.

   2. ALAnnie Lederman45:04

      Jesus. I'm like, "Just..." I mean-

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      So I don't know if there was... You see, that's the thing. It's like, if you're doing that kind of shit, like, are you making people sign releases? Do they know that you're gonna do that kind of shit? Or is this-

   4. ALAnnie Lederman45:15

      Are they gonna arrest the girl that's punching her fist into her pussy too? (laughs) Which, by the way, I feel like she could get out of jail. She could slide through. She could, like, punch and then slide through the- (laughs) She would kill it in jail.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:25

      She's very flexible.

   6. ALAnnie Lederman45:26

      She'd be- she'd be fine. (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:27

      But you have to think, like, if you... But then the- the other perspective is, okay, what if this is your 18-year-old daughter-

   8. ALAnnie Lederman45:33

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:33

      ... gets off of a Greyhound bus and meets this guy-

   10. ALAnnie Lederman45:35

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:35

       ... and she has no idea what she's about to do and she thinks she's gonna do just, like, a sex movie-

   12. ALAnnie Lederman45:39

       Right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       ... and this guy's pissing in her eyeballs and- and sp- and punching her in the face. Like, there was all kinds of... Well, I don't know if he punched her, but you know what I mean.

   14. ALAnnie Lederman45:45

       Is that what the pee tapes are gonna be? (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Do you think the pee tapes are real?

   16. ALAnnie Lederman45:49

       I just-

   17. WCWhitney Cummings45:49

       I do too.

   18. ALAnnie Lederman45:49

       Who cares? Have you ever had a guy try to pee on you? No, but I had- I had, like, one guy that I was like... It was, like, the guy that we weren't... We were just gonna, like, do the things that we'd never done and we just ended up not liking each other so we didn't bang again.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings46:00

       (laughs)

   20. ALAnnie Lederman46:00

       But I was like, "I would let you pee on me."

   21. WCWhitney Cummings46:02

       Do the things you've never done. What, like kiss on the mouth?

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:04

       (laughs)

   23. ALAnnie Lederman46:04

       Yeah, make eye contact. He said, "I love you" into my face.

   24. WCWhitney Cummings46:08

       Yeah, like tell the truth.

   25. ALAnnie Lederman46:09

       (laughs)

   26. WCWhitney Cummings46:11

       Program each other's numbers into our phones.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       Oh, my God.

   28. WCWhitney Cummings46:13

       I had a guy pee on me once. He was, like, really wanted to pee on me and I was like, "Fine," and I started dying laughing.

   29. ALAnnie Lederman46:18

       Yeah, of course.

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:19

       Were you guys in the bathroom or in the bed?

Episode duration: 51:29