Joe Rogan Experience #1534 - Ron White

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays)

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Hey.

   3. GUGuest0:14

      Joe, you look good.

   4. RWRon White0:15

      Oh, thank you, man.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      You did. You- you- you look like, uh, you've- you're well rested. Like the COVID lockdown has done you well.

   6. RWRon White0:21

      Thank you. You know, I- I ... D- during this thing I- I came up with a program, uh, called the "Dial It Back A Little Bit" program and it's like AA except there's only six steps but you don't get completely sober. So it's gonna be very popular, I think. And, uh, the first step was, "Ron, why don't you quit drinking so fucking much?"

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:43

      And what is so fucking much? Like what- what's the numbers?

   8. RWRon White0:46

      Ah, you know, it's a half a mile of tequila a night or something like that. Maybe a little more.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:55

      Jesus.

   10. RWRon White0:55

       Uh, wound back to a third. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       By the way, these little cigars are the shit. These are really good. Romeo & Julieta tiny cigars.

   12. RWRon White1:04

       Yeah, that- that's the, uh, the mini cigarillo.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       Mm-hmm.

   14. RWRon White1:07

       So there's one that's a little bit bigger than that, uh, that's called a cigarillo and these are the minis and I started, like I was saying, at ... When I was playing golf, you know, that- that just- whenever it's time for me to hit I just throw it away and light another one, you know.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:20

       Right.

   16. RWRon White1:20

       So there's 20 of 'em for $15 bucks, so you know, as opposed to a $15 cigar which is what I usually smoke. Something like that. And, uh ...

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:29

       But it's good tobacco?

   18. RWRon White1:30

       Yeah, it's really good.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:31

       You can tell. It's like a real cigar.

   20. RWRon White1:31

       It's the same thing that's in their big old premium cigars, just rode by- rolled by the junior rollers. That's how they learn.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:38

       Yeah. And you look like you're smoking a blunt.

   22. RWRon White1:41

       But, we're clearly not.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:44

       Clearly. And, uh, in Austin what were you saying about the rules? It's like a qua- what did- you could have as much as a quarter of a pound before they arrest you?

   24. RWRon White1:53

       Uh, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:54

       Something crazy like that?

   26. RWRon White1:54

       A quarter of a pound, is that right? Yeah, uh, and that- and if you just say it's, uh, CBD, CDB, whatever, nugs, then, uh, th- they would have to test it and they don't wanna test it. They got other things to do. So ...

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:08

       They have CBD stores out here, folks. It's- it's very strange. They have stores that sell CBD joints but marijuana's illegal.

   28. RWRon White2:15

       Right. So I don't know. You know? My- my son is in that business, and, uh, it- it- and it is confusing. The- the, uh, and I think (laughs) that's what helps, you know?

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:26

       Yeah.

   30. RWRon White2:27

       Is, uh, they- they got dizzy trying to figure it out. But I was going through LAX on the way out here a week early, and, um ... Because we set this up for, uh, we- we were talking on Friday and you said next Tuesday, the 8th. Well I don't even know what month it is much less-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oof. …

   1. RWRon White15:00

      sitting there, and I'm like, "Who is that? I recognize these guys." And, uh, and I went over and started... I just heard 'em order tequila. And I was like, "Oh, this is kindred spirits over here. I'm gonna upgrade their order," 'cause they sold my tequila at that place. And, uh, so I sent 'em over some tequila and I'm like... And, and they threw a fit over me. "You're Ron White. Ron White." And I, I'd worked with Cedric. He, he middled for me on the road, and I knew he was gonna be a star then. I said, "There's no stopping this guy, you know. He's got so much talent and energy," and, uh, so it turns out Lopez was coming up to play golf with him the next day, you know, so we, we hooked up, made it a foursome, killed a bottle of, uh, of, uh, Number Juan Extra Anejo on the course. We, uh, passed it around on the 18th to polish it off and...

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:45

      Oof.

   3. RWRon White15:45

      And, uh, what a, what a hoot, you know. What a glorious day that was, you know. Just laughter and fun and...

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:51

      I'm sure golf is awesome. It's just, it... That's a lot of time. It's a time-consuming-

   5. RWRon White15:55

      You don't have time for it, buddy.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:56

      I don't have time for it. No.

   7. RWRon White15:57

      You ain't got time for it. You... I don't know how you do what you do. Three shows a day, or two, three of these a day, and then, I remember the last time-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:03

      I don't do three a day anymore.

   9. RWRon White16:05

      Well, you... The last time I did your show, you, I was the third one that day and, and, uh, you were like, "Yeah, I'm gonna go do my abs and then I got five sets tonight."

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       (laughs)

   11. RWRon White16:12

       I'm like, "Jesus Christ." (laughs) "I'm gonna go to bed." I was drunk, stoned. I'm like, "You're gonna do what?"

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:19

       (laughs) Yeah.

   13. RWRon White16:19

       Yeah. "Yeah. I gotta do my abs..."

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:20

       Do my abs.

   15. RWRon White16:20

       "... and, uh, I'm gonna head on over."

   16. JRJoe Rogan16:22

       Yeah, last podcast we did, we got a little lit.

   17. RWRon White16:25

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:25

       We got crazy.

   19. RWRon White16:26

       Yeah. Early, so I'm-

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       That's your fucking tequila. You come bringing your own tequila.

   21. RWRon White16:30

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:30

       What's a man supposed to do?

   23. RWRon White16:31

       Right. You gotta drink it. You gotta drink it.

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:34

       So you were saying you're just in the d- in the tequil business now. You're basically not even in the comedy business anymore.

   25. RWRon White16:38

       You know, I actually told somebody in a conversation that, that I used to be a comedian. I say, they said, "What do you do?" I said, "I used to be a comic." And, and then I kind of caught myself. I'm like, "Well..." 'Cause I believe if you wanna be a comedian, all you have to do is go be a comedian, but you have to do that, right?

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:52

       Yeah.

   27. RWRon White16:52

       You have to go do it. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:53

       Yeah.

   29. RWRon White16:54

       You have to go do shows and all those things, and that I just don't do anymore.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:57

       When you call someone a comic, like how, how long do they have to have done it?
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      and only 4% had sufficient levels of vitamin D. Vitamin D has a significant impact on your immune system and most people don't get it. You probably get a good amount because you're out in the sun golfing a lot but probably not quite enough.

   2. RWRon White30:13

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:13

      And you should almost always supplement.

   4. RWRon White30:15

      Yeah, my, you know, my doctor said something. I just had all my tests done the other day and, and, uh, he said that you need to bo- boost your, um-... vitamin D, that's what he said.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:23

      Yeah. Everybody does.

   6. RWRon White30:24

      And, uh, yeah, right. So-

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:25

      Humans aren't supposed to live in this little fucking red spaceship. We're supposed to be outside in the world.

   8. RWRon White30:30

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:30

      I mean, this is how we evolved.

   10. RWRon White30:31

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:31

       We evolved to be outside all the time. We didn't evolve to be indoor creatures. So our bodies are designed to absorb vitamin D from the sun. I mean, that's, uh, that's how we create vitamin D in our body.

   12. RWRon White30:44

       Right. And I think you're right. I do sp- I, I do spend an awful lot of time outside, so that... But I'm, uh, you know, I need to get on a program, that's for sure, you know.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       Are you willing? I'll put you on a program.

   14. RWRon White30:55

       I'm willing. I'm willing-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       I'll get you some vitamins.

   16. RWRon White30:56

       ... to be on a program. Yeah. A- do you take a d- ton of vitamins?

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:00

       I take a lot of shit.

   18. RWRon White31:02

       E- even though you're-

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       (clears throat)

   20. RWRon White31:04

       Do you, and y- and you believe it's all good and that it's-

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:06

       Oh, hell yeah, I feel great.

   22. RWRon White31:07

       You have more energy than anybody I know.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       (laughs)

   24. RWRon White31:10

       Do you sleep at all?

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:11

       I do. That's one of the reasons why I have energy.

   26. RWRon White31:13

       Oh.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       I sleep a lot. Uh, uh, a little amount of sleep for me is six hours. That's a little amount. Like, that's like a, "Oh, I gotta catch up." A good night, I'm sleeping eight, maybe even nine. Yeah, I sleep.

   28. RWRon White31:25

       But-

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:25

       I sleep good. It's important.

   30. RWRon White31:28

       Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Oh, okay. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      and, and how difficult it was for the settlers to make it across Texas. So Texas became this fiercely independent place partially, in part, because of their battles with the Comanches-

   2. RWRon White45:12

      Oh, okay.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:12

      ... who ran through Austin is there ... Like, you can find Comanche arrowheads in Austin-

   4. RWRon White45:17

      Right.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:17

      ... still to this day. I have friends who've found them here.

   6. RWRon White45:20

      Right. I have friends that look for them all the time. They go -

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      Fucking wild.

   8. RWRon White45:22

      In fact, Foxworthy's one of them. He goes on these arrowhead searches all over the place, and ...

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:27

      Where they find them for the most is those, uh, buffalo jumps. You know those places where the Comanche would force buffalo off cliffs?

   10. RWRon White45:34

       I didn't even know that.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:35

       This is how wild it is. They would force so many of them off of cliffs that they would rot in a pile, 'cause they couldn't eat all of them, they would rot in a pile and there would be so much bacteria and rot that they would spontaneously combust. So most of these buffalo jumps, like, when you would find at the bottom of it, they'd be charred, like, charred cliff side because the piles of buffalo would, would literally burst and burst into flames.

   12. RWRon White46:02

       (laughs) How do you know all this stuff, Joe? (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:03

       I smoke a lot of weed. (laughs)

   14. RWRon White46:06

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:06

       I smoke weed and I get into things. That's why I can't play golf.

   16. RWRon White46:09

       I know, I know. You don't have time for golf.

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       Well, I can't play golf because I'd get obsessed.

   18. RWRon White46:13

       Yeah, you would.

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:14

       That's the problem.

   20. RWRon White46:14

       You totally would and you'd get-

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:15

       No, I know.

   22. RWRon White46:16

       ... really good at it, like jujitsu or whatever it is you know and ...

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:19

       I would get obsessed.

   24. RWRon White46:20

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:20

       I know I would. Uh, uh, Tony Hinchcliffe is obsessed now, that poor bastard.

   26. RWRon White46:23

       Mm-hmm.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:24

       He's hooked.

   28. RWRon White46:25

       I know.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:25

       He plays golf every day. He sends me pictures.

   30. RWRon White46:26

       I know. He's telling me.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:09:10

   You could- you could-…

   1. RWRon White1:00:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      You could- you could- you- it might be ... I might be wrong, but you could see it happening. You could see it happening because they've set a precedent for them having the ability to dictate whether or not people work and whether or not people are allowed to move freely and do whatever they want.

   3. RWRon White1:00:13

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:13

      'Cause that's what happens when people have power. It's a fucking dangerous intoxicant.

   5. RWRon White1:00:17

      Yeah, I bel- I ... Well, I believe you're right about that, uh, that it's a- i- it's a- a- uh, uh, it's ... Dizzying, uh, how sexy power is and how sexy you feel when you have it and, uh, and that ... But I don't think, you know ... I- I think we find a ... I think we find a vaccine and we move on, you know?

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:40

      Or the aliens land. I've been thinking the aliens-

   7. RWRon White1:00:43

      You-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

      ... are coming, by the way.

   9. RWRon White1:00:44

      You know, I- I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day, a- another billionaire. I got a few billionaire buddies, and, uh-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

       Look at you.

   11. RWRon White1:00:51

       I know.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       It's a good move.

   13. RWRon White1:00:52

       I (laughs) I know, really.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:53

       Yeah.

   15. RWRon White1:00:53

       I think I'm sucking up to them for a reason.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       They'll- they'll- they'll tell you in advance with- what's about to happen.

   17. RWRon White1:00:58

       Well, uh, and, uh, well- well- well, this one ...... this guy, a particular guy, is, uh, uh, really, really, really smart and, uh, he, he has no doubt in his mind whatsoever that, uh, aliens are, uh, dancing among us. And, uh-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:16

       I think he's right. Pass me one of them little baby cigars, Ron White. I love those things. I'm getting addicted to them.

   19. RWRon White1:01:21

       The white one or the dark one?

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:22

       Oh, there's different colors?

   21. RWRon White1:01:23

       Well, there's this one.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:25

       Oh, that's not a cigar.

   23. RWRon White1:01:26

       Right?

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:26

       I know what the fuck that is.

   25. RWRon White1:01:27

       That's a CDB. Uh-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:29

       Oh.

   27. RWRon White1:01:29

       ... one of those things-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:30

       Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

   29. RWRon White1:01:30

       ... that we were talking about earlier.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:31

       Give me some of that light. Mm. Thank you, sir. Yeah. I'm convinced. (lighter clicks) (exhales) I'm 100% convinced. (lighter clicks) I used to be, uh, 60%.

Episode duration: 2:53:42