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Joe Rogan Experience #1587 - Mark Normand

Mark Normand is a stand-up comedian, actor, and co-host of the Tuesdays with Stories! podcast with Joe List. His latest comedy special, Out to Lunch, is available now.

Mark NormandguestJoe Roganhost
Jun 27, 20243h 1mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:001:42

    COVID-era standup: testing, New York outbreaks, and why comics need each other

    1. NA

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. NA

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

    3. NA

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music) Good morning, man. How are you?

    4. MN

      Hey, hey. Good to be here.

    5. JR

      But you in Texas.

    6. MN

      I know, I feel good. I got tested, I feel great.

    7. JR

      Yes, you're clean, you're clean of cooties.

    8. MN

      I've got to be honest, I'm shocked. I thought I'd been super spreading for weeks.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. MN

      I just felt like that in my body, like, "Ah, I must be hurting people."

    11. JR

      Well, there's a wave going through New York right now.

    12. MN

      Oh, yeah.

    13. JR

      A lot of comics got it.

    14. MN

      Everybody's got it. I don't want to say names. I don't know what's out, but holy shit.

    15. JR

      Yeah. I don't know what's out either.

    16. MN

      And it was all, it got all the funny ones, too.

    17. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    18. MN

      It wasn't like, the hacks didn't die. And it's just like real comics, you know, they get Patrice, they get Mitch Hedberg, they get Geraldo. Same with corona.

    19. JR

      Yeah. Well, you know, the one, those are the ones that are hanging out.

    20. MN

      Yeah, good point.

    21. JR

      You know?

    22. MN

      Funny people hang out with funny people.

    23. JR

      Yeah. That, that is a, like when a comic stops hanging out with comics, never turns out well.

    24. MN

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      When they kind of alienate themselves-

    26. MN

      Ooh, good point.

    27. JR

      ... from other comics. You, you've noticed, right?

    28. MN

      Good point. And-

    29. JR

      They get weird.

    30. MN

      And we don't care about scandals or anything. If you're funny, we'll still hang out with you.

  2. 1:426:36

    Getting “standup shape” back: stage rhythm, forgetting bits, and pre-show looseness

    1. MN

      Well, the pandemic's a bitch 'cause you can't do standup, but when you get that moment when you're hanging out with the other guys again, you're like, "Oh, this is what I've been missing. I've been going crazy. I felt like a weirdo in my apartment."

    2. JR

      Well, I've been doing these shows in town with Chappelle, and, uh, I did one of 'em with him, uh, like three weeks ago. Well, I did one with Tony Hinchcliffe at the Vulcan Gas Company like four weeks ago.

    3. MN

      Mm-hmm.

    4. JR

      And, uh, (laughs) Ron White was the funniest ever, 'cause before he's like, "I'm basically retired. I'm just gonna fucking retire, take all my tequila money and just fucking chill out. I'm gonna sell my plane."

    5. MN

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      He started talking all this shit, and then he gets off stage. He did one set that he had, he hadn't, he hadn't done standup in eight months.

    7. MN

      Wow.

    8. JR

      The moment he gets off stage, he grabs me by my shoulders. He goes, "We're fucking doing this, okay?"

    9. MN

      (laughs)

    10. JR

      "We're back."

    11. MN

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      He goes, "I don't give a fuck what we have to do. This must continue." Like, he was like at 10, he was at, at a 10.

    13. MN

      It's in you. It's like when you quit drinking and you're like, "Fuck it. Tonight we're drinking." It's the same feeling.

    14. JR

      (laughs)

    15. MN

      You just start chugging again. You're like, "Ah!" You rip your shirt off, you look like Kreischer.

    16. JR

      Have you ever quit drinking?

    17. MN

      I tried for like a week. I just, I like it, and, uh, I'm, I feel like I'm good at it now.

    18. JR

      Oh.

    19. MN

      I'm in my late 30s. I, I've drank since I was 13.

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. MN

      I, I got it down. I mean, I'm from New Orleans, you know. You, you get after it out there.

    22. JR

      Yeah, it's a different world up there.

    23. MN

      It's part of the culture. But yeah, no, you're right. The comedy, you need it. Once you get back into it, 'cause we're, I think we're inherently lazy, most comics. We want to put our feet up. Well, not you. You're doing 17 jujitsus and, you know, making coffee and stuff. But like-

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. MN

      ... I feel like, uh, we're inherently lazy, but you get us back in that, that limelight, and it, it all percolates.

    26. JR

      Yeah, well, in terms of like wanting to do it, yeah.

    27. MN

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      Yeah. Well, the, the, the juice is worth the squeeze. It's... Say that again. The juice is worth the squeeze.

    29. MN

      Mm-hmm.

    30. JR

      Like when y- if you can get back into like standup shape, the juice of killing in front of a crowd-

  3. 6:369:47

    Comedy as a fragile art form: bad openers, environmental distractions, and timing analogies

    1. JR

      Yeah, that's why for m- well, for me, I used to always bring opening acts on the road because-

    2. MN

      Hmm. Oh, there you go.

    3. JR

      ... well, for two reasons. One-... you wanna hang with a guy, want, want a buddy to come with you on the road, but two, you know the person's gonna be funny.

    4. MN

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      'Cause the worst is when you have to sit there through 20 minutes of someone's terrible act and you, you're like, "Oh, no." And you feel bad for the audience-

    6. MN

      Right. (laughs) Oh, that's the worst.

    7. JR

      And, and then I used to feel bad, like comedy doesn't work.

    8. MN

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      Like, "Comedy's not real."

    10. MN

      Right, right. "These people hate it. They'll never come see a show again."

    11. JR

      "This is not comedy. This is... What is comedy? Comedy doesn't, can't be real."

    12. MN

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      "These guys talking? Nothing can be funny."

    14. MN

      Well, comedy is pretty flimsy when you really break it down.

    15. JR

      Yeah.

    16. MN

      You know? It's like one little air conditioner, the blender's gone, it's all over.

    17. JR

      Yeah.

    18. MN

      The waitress comes, it's all over. So you're like, "Damn." It's like a boner when you're 48. You know? It's harder to hold.

    19. JR

      (laughs)

    20. MN

      You know?

    21. JR

      A stumble of words.

    22. MN

      Yes, that's it.

    23. JR

      It slips through your fingers.

    24. MN

      It's over.

    25. JR

      It's gone.

    26. MN

      Seinfeld said-

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. MN

      ... it was like when a car train goes by, like a ca- a train goes by and one of the cars is missing and you have to jump it with a motorcycle.

    29. JR

      Hmm.

    30. MN

      That one missing car. But if you do too late, you'll hit the-

  4. 9:4716:58

    Marriage as a contract: divorce payouts, role reversals, and the manager-spouse dynamic

    1. MN

      That's nice. I, I, I kind of wish I had that with like a wife. That's why I'm so scared of marriage.

    2. JR

      Mm.

    3. MN

      Because you change so much from just high school to now or college to now, and then you get a ... you get married and then you change again maybe when you're 62. And then you're stuck with this, uh, plus size lady.

    4. JR

      (laughs)

    5. MN

      And you don't know what the hell to do and how to get out and then you can't meet anybody new because you're 62.

    6. JR

      That's the problem with the contract of marriage, right? That's the problem, is it is a legal contract.

    7. MN

      And it feels-

    8. JR

      If, if it goes great and you're-

    9. MN

      ... very antiquated.

    10. JR

      It is in a lot of ways. Um, it's very good for, uh, ensuring that there's like a, there's a bond that's not just your word.

    11. MN

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      You know, it's legal. So if you do try to leave, the woman at least has some sort of financial recourse. In some case the men. Every now and then one of us-

    13. MN

      That's true.

    14. JR

      We've, we put one on the board.

    15. MN

      Right. (laughs) Yeah.

    16. JR

      Tom Arnold is our all star.

    17. MN

      (laughs) Right.

    18. JR

      Right?

    19. MN

      He's the-

    20. JR

      In terms of men-

    21. MN

      He's the broad.

    22. JR

      ... who have made money from divorces, he's the GOAT.

    23. MN

      Yeah, I think-

    24. JR

      Right?

    25. MN

      ... it's like when a Black cop shoots a white guy. I'm sure it's the same shit-

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. MN

      ... with the Black community. Or like when OJ won. I, I, I lived in a Black neighborhood and I could hear the, the yelling and people were going nuts.

    28. JR

      Tearing.

    29. MN

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      Every now and then a guy wins. Who else do we know of that has made money off of like a high profile divorce where the woman had all the money?

  5. 16:5820:32

    Managers, careers, and early podcasting: Joe’s origin story and betting on the internet

    1. JR

      And i- is it quantifiable? Now, this is where I could speak, because I have the same manager that I had when I was an open mic comedian.

    2. MN

      Wow, that's rare.

    3. JR

      Yeah. Oh yeah, dude. I met Sussman and, uh, I was, uh, I think I was 24. I was like 23 or 24. And, uh, I was terrible. (laughs) And I was an open mic-er.

    4. MN

      Yeah, way aware.

    5. JR

      I was driving a limo. I mean, uh, but I had a few good jokes I could kill, like occasionally.

    6. MN

      Uh-huh.

    7. JR

      You know, I could catch a, I could catch a good wave-

    8. MN

      Sure.

    9. JR

      ... when I was loose. And just randomly he was in Boston looking for comedians. And he had set up a bunch of meetings to see all these different headliners, local headliners on stage. And I didn't know he was there. I didn't know anything was going on. I was driving limos and I called the owner up and I asked him, I said, "I had a funny idea. Could I do five minutes tonight?" 'Cause he was already giving me some spots when I was emceeing some shows.

    10. MN

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      I go, "I got this bit. I think it's, I think it's gonna work. I think I got something." And I went up and I opened with it, and I remember it did get a laugh.

    12. MN

      What?

    13. JR

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like ... I forgo- I wish I could remember the bit, but it was a bit that actually worked. I was like, "Yes! It's real."

    14. MN

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      And then I was real loose, then I went into some of my old stuff. And, um, I got off stage and this guy handed me a business card like a fucking movie.

    16. MN

      Wow. The '80s, man.

    17. JR

      It was like, he goes, "I'm a manager and, uh, I'd, I'd love to, uh, to talk to you and see you do more sets."

    18. MN

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      And I did one next door, across the street, uh, like the next night. And then I went to New York like, uh, maybe two weeks later and did a bunch of sets for him in New York at-

    20. MN

      Jeez.

    21. JR

      ... Catch Rising Star, and then next thing you know I was living in New York.

    22. MN

      Wow. Did you fuck him?

    23. JR

      No.

    24. MN

      All right.

    25. JR

      Still, to this day, never fucked him.

    26. MN

      That's- But that's unheard of.

    27. JR

      So, with that kind of a situation, like, that guy is r- and he, and Chandra, my other manager, they're responsible for a giant part-... of my success-

    28. MN

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      ... because I, I know them so well and I've been with them so much and I trust them and I love them and it's like we have a, we have a friendship as well as like a working relationship.

    30. MN

      Mm-hmm.

  6. 20:3226:15

    Offensive comedy, “punching up,” and why audiences are the real focus group

    1. JR

      Well, that's what, everybody's worried about the blowback-

    2. MN

      I know.

    3. JR

      ... from just being a comic. They're worried about, you know, n- uh, the negative response from saying the wrong thing-

    4. MN

      Right.

    5. JR

      ... or joking about the wrong thing.

    6. MN

      Yup.

    7. JR

      Yeah.

    8. MN

      I just joke about all the wrong things just 'cause it, I wanna have too many things to find.

    9. JR

      If we don't keep joking about the wrong things, then the idea of joking about the wrong things will go away. It's-

    10. MN

      I agree.

    11. JR

      If you see Quentin care- Quentin Tarantino has a movie where a woman gets her fucking brains bashed into a fireplace mantelpiece-

    12. MN

      (laughs)

    13. JR

      ... right?

    14. MN

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      Do you, do you get mad at that or do you think that's part of the film? Do you think that this is endorsing violence? What... No, you think it's a kind of weird art-

    16. MN

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      ... where this craziness is happening. But for whatever reason, because the standup is on stage by themselves and they wrote this by themselves, they're not given that same sort of leeway.

    18. MN

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      Like you can't just fuck around about something and say something you don't really mean, but it's-

    20. MN

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      ... outrageous and you're not supposed to say it.

    22. MN

      Sure.

    23. JR

      And you s- that's the reason why it's funny is because you're saying something you're not supposed to say.

    24. MN

      I agree because also there's layers to a movie. With a comedy, you can just yell at you.

    25. JR

      Yeah.

    26. MN

      I can just yell at Mark Normand.

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. MN

      You know, he, he said this. I have a clip of him. "Look at this piece of shit saying this about, you know, special needs Downsy kids or whatever."

    29. JR

      Right.

    30. MN

      But then with the, with the, with the Tarantino, it's a director, it's a filmmaker, there's actors involved-

  7. 26:1546:09

    Twitter, resentment, and bombing: how insecurity fuels call-outs (even from other comics)

    1. JR

      Here's what happened. Everyone who got on social media, everyone, everyone has the ability to comment on things. And some of the people commenting on things are not good at comedy.

    2. MN

      Yes.

    3. JR

      A lot of them.

    4. MN

      A lot of them, most of them.

    5. JR

      There's a lot of them that are comics that are commenting on it.

    6. MN

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      And they're not good at comedy. They're comics, but they're passable.

    8. MN

      Sure.

    9. JR

      They don't do well. They don't have thriving careers. And their, their, their act is (imitates buzzing)

    10. MN

      Right, right.

    11. JR

      Sometimes it's okay, you know? I'm not, like, being totally ob- objective.

    12. MN

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      Maybe they could have put a little more work in.

    14. MN

      Right.

    15. JR

      Maybe they could have figured it out better. Maybe they could have... Whatever's wrong, whatever... You know, it just, sometimes it doesn't work out for people.

    16. MN

      Yeah, yeah. It happens.

    17. JR

      Those are the loudest voices-

    18. MN

      Right.

    19. JR

      ... against very successful, outrageous guys like Louis or like Joey Diaz-

    20. MN

      Mm-hmm.

    21. JR

      ... or like many of the other ones that people get mad at for bits.

    22. MN

      It's just new though, the comics attacking comics.

    23. JR

      It's not good.

    24. MN

      That's not good. And I, when I started, that wasn't even a thought.

    25. JR

      No.

    26. MN

      You'd be like, "Wait, what are you doing? You know what I, why I said that horrible thing. I'm trying to get a laugh here."

    27. JR

      But it's never guys like Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle-

    28. MN

      No. No.

    29. JR

      Or, or, you know, it's never Bill Burr attacking comics.

    30. MN

      No.

  8. 46:0952:18

    Identity politics and the “stack of coins” metaphor

    1. MN

      But that's one thing ... I think when you focus on your group too much, you're already fucked, like, "I'm an Italian guy, and I think this, and we gotta stick the-"

    2. JR

      The worst.

    3. MN

      "And I'm a woman, and I'm a Black, and I'm a gay guy." It's like, "Just do your shit, and kill it, and then everything will fall into place." Don't worry about what group you're in. I know, I know obviously some people have to make groups to protect themselves.

    4. JR

      Well, it's so you get a free, uh, like, stack of coins.

    5. MN

      Mm-hmm.

    6. JR

      It's identity politics. In identity politics, you get a free stack of coins if you go in with an identity. But-

    7. MN

      Oh, I see what you're saying.

    8. JR

      If you walk in, like you walk in the conversation as, uh, um, an, a woman from India-

    9. MN

      Yes.

    10. JR

      ... like, you get a stack of coins- (die clatters)

    11. MN

      Right.

    12. JR

      ... right away. You get a little stack, and you identify as a woman from India. Now these other women from India are like, "Oh, she's one of us."

    13. MN

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      "Uh, she's on the team." You know?

    15. MN

      Right.

    16. JR

      If you just wanna go in there as a human being-

    17. MN

      Yeah, just be Jugdish.

    18. JR

      ... you get-

    19. MN

      Why do you need the group?

    20. JR

      You get no stack.

    21. MN

      Ah.

    22. JR

      You don't start off-

    23. MN

      That's interesting.

    24. JR

      You don't start off with a stack of coins. You gotta earn all your coins.

    25. MN

      Right.

    26. JR

      Right? So identity politics, in a lot of ways, is people ... They want ... First of all, there's people that want equality and they don't wanna be marginalized and they want people to treat them ... They want people to treat them well. So they go into it saying like, "Look, I am also ..." Like, uh, like, uh, gay people. "I am also a person who's gay, and I just think we're just people."

    27. MN

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      "And, uh, I rep, I, I represent gay people 'cause I want you to know that we're just people."

    29. MN

      Mm-hmm.

    30. JR

      That's one way of doing it. But some people don't do that. They go into it as someone who's already oppressed, and here's ... "I want my stack of coins."

  9. 52:181:03:09

    Coffee, energy drinks, Diet Coke, and old-Hollywood body hacks

    1. JR

      I smoked weed.

    2. MN

      Kahn.

    3. JR

      I smoked weed before this show. Goddammit.

    4. MN

      Oh, I heard that-

    5. JR

      Weed is great and it's terrible at the same time.

    6. MN

      It'll cloud your mind.

    7. JR

      It will, uh, open doors of your mind, but then the breeze goes through and-

    8. MN

      There you go.

    9. JR

      ... knocks other doors shut and you're like, "What happened?" Well, you-

    10. MN

      It's nothing.

    11. JR

      ... you let in the breeze. You let in that weed breeze.

    12. MN

      I wish I liked weed. I wi- I see all my friends toking all day and eating brownies and shit, and I'm like, "I would be ruined if I did that."

    13. JR

      What were we talking about right before I brought her up?

    14. MN

      Uh, shit. Jugdish, the Indian lady.

    15. JR

      Cunt jokes.

    16. MN

      Yeah. Uh, we're all in a green room jizzing on each other with the, with the truth and they're, everybody's on Twitter and full of shit.

    17. JR

      I had it. I had it right there.

    18. NA

      Don't start saying her name because she says whatever she wants on Twitter.

    19. JR

      Yeah, but there was a reason. I had a point-

    20. NA

      Oh.

    21. JR

      ... and I forgot what the point was.

    22. MN

      Yeah! It'll come back.

    23. JR

      Son of a bitch.

    24. MN

      See, that sativa will get you there, Fatty.

    25. JR

      Ugh!

    26. MN

      Yeah.

    27. JR

      Also, I'm fasting, so-

    28. MN

      Oh, really?

    29. JR

      Yeah. So today is, uh, I'm not eating until, uh, after the show.

    30. MN

      What a country. We fast on purpose, baby.

  10. 1:03:091:05:22

    Sex, pornography, and taboo myths: from ‘don’t masturbate’ to modern access

    1. MN

      Can you imagine how pent-up dudes must have been in the '40s or '30s? I mean, first of all, you look at a pinup and they're all creaming themselves. But, like, we all look at porn so much, it's so accessible. There's women walking around with nothing on now. Like, back then, you couldn't look at porn, you couldn't ... you just had to imagine shit.

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. MN

      That's crazy.

    4. JR

      And masturbation was greatly discouraged.

    5. MN

      That's right.

    6. JR

      You were taught that you were gonna be, you know ... You're a bad person. You're gonna go blind.

Episode duration: 3:01:29

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