Joe Rogan Experience #1607 - Fahim Anwar

Fahim Anwar is a stand-up comic, actor, and former aerospace engineer. In addition to starring in his own solo comedy special, "There's No Business Like Show Business" on available on YouTube, Anwar is also a founding member of the sketch comedy group Goatface, and has appeared in several comedy films and tv series.

Fahim AnwarguestJoe RoganhostGuest (unidentified friend/producer in studio)guestCharlie Sheenguest

Jun 27, 20243h 41mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,008 words

0:02 – 2:18
Fahim’s “Dance Hour” podcast and the mistaken longboard dancer
1. FAFahim Anwar
  (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) What'd you say your podcast was?
3. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh, (laughs) Fahim Anwar Dance Hour.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, the dance hour?
5. FAFahim Anwar
  The Dance Hour, man.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Why is it the Dance Hour?
7. FAFahim Anwar
  It's a loose term, like it's a comedy podcast, but I kind of have an affil- I love dance music and, like, dancing, so-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Remember I accidentally posted that thing 'cause I really thought it was you?
9. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  I was like, "Damn-"
11. FAFahim Anwar
  No, no. That was-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  "... Fahim can fucking move."
13. FAFahim Anwar
  That was the long boarding video.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, the guy on the board, yeah. Dancing-
15. FAFahim Anwar
  Well-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  ... who's dancing on the board.
17. FAFahim Anwar
  ... I thought someone... Sometimes people... This thing will happen on Instagram where people keep on sending me pictures or videos of people who kinda look like me.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  That guy kinda looked like you.
19. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, but I-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  I thought it was you.
21. FAFahim Anwar
  Okay. Well, I just thought it was so funny, I go, "Is there anything I can't do?"
22. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
23. FAFahim Anwar
  And I fi- I posted it on my Instagram. And it's this guy, like... His name is Lotifor. We became friends 'cause you did this.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, that's hilarious.
25. FAFahim Anwar
  Just via Instagram. And it's this guy, I think he's in France, and he's just killing it on a long board. Go to his page, he's amazing.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  I thought you could do that 'cause you dance so well. I thought you could do that too.
27. FAFahim Anwar
  Well, it's flattering-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  It's my real confidence in you.
29. FAFahim Anwar
  ... for you to be like... Just throw in a long board?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, this-
2:18 – 4:37
Giving credit online, meme “open source” culture, and dance on social media
1. JRJoe Rogan
  You know what's the worst? When someone sends you a really funny meme and you're like, "Fuck, I don't know who made this. I need to find who made this."
2. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause I wanna put it up, but I don't want... I don't wanna not have that person get credit for it.
4. FAFahim Anwar
  That's the trouble with meme comedy, it's almost like... It's like Linux.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Like-
6. FAFahim Anwar
  It's open source.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes. Sort of. Here he is. Yeah, this is the one.
8. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) I thought this was you.
10. FAFahim Anwar
  See? He's here at it.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  I thought it was you, dude.
12. FAFahim Anwar
  With his shirt open?
13. JRJoe Rogan
  So, I didn't fucking tag the guy.
14. FAFahim Anwar
  You didn't?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  No, dude. I did not-
16. FAFahim Anwar
  Hold on.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  ... tag that guy.
18. FAFahim Anwar
  Aw, fuck. Well-
19. JRJoe Rogan
  I said, "Whoever the fuck he is."
20. FAFahim Anwar
  Well, tell him now.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Well, now we know. Yeah, I thought that was you. I'm looking at this, I'm like, "Dang, look at Fahim go."
22. FAFahim Anwar
  I guess I just thought it was so beyond my skillset that people would know that it's not me.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, I don't know what your skillset is. There's a lot of people that can do wild shit that you don't know. Like, a lot of comics are good at other stuff, and you, you ju- you don't know about it until you, you know, you get close to them and you're like, "What? You can do that?"
24. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Um, there's a lady that I posted on my Instagram. I didn't know it was her. I think I posted it... I think it was Willie D posted it and I reposted it. U- Um, marie_bustinmoves is her-
26. FAFahim Anwar
  Mm-hmm.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... uh, her Instagram. Find that, and she, she does this dance to Chub Rock. It's like... It's not... I think she probably put it on TikTok too, but she puts it on Instagram. It's her and her daughters. You can't play the music, huh?
28. GSGuest (unidentified friend/producer in studio)
  No, I don't think so.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  It's too bad. But she's really fucking-
30. FAFahim Anwar
  Killing it?
4:37 – 8:49
Dance as body control: Michael Jackson, pop-star choreography, and “feeling it”
1. FAFahim Anwar
  You have a respect for it. It's funny 'cause I remember I was walking up to do my set at the Comedy Store and you're in the parking lot, and you're like, "Oh, yeah. You could, you could dance, man." Like... Or, you were... I didn't think you would talk about it or even register with you. But I'm like, "Ah, yeah. I g-" You said I was flexible or something. I go, "Ah, I'm not that flexible." You go, "No, but you have, like, good body control" or... You just had an affinity for dance that I didn't think you would have.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
3. FAFahim Anwar
  'Cause you're in martial arts and I feel like... Look, I'm not some world-class dancer, I'm just a hobbyist. I grew up loving Michael Jackson and, like, slow- like, recording all his music videos, his concert footage, slowing it down. I learned how to dance to VHS. And-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  There you go. (laughs)
5. FAFahim Anwar
  Nah, this is bad. This is, like, from my apartment alone. This is so bad.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
7. FAFahim Anwar
  It's so bad. Now, I get it, like, when you go on Tonight Show and they pull up a commercial of yours or something.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, no. Zone Soup.
9. FAFahim Anwar
  No, I'll, I'll... Yeah, I'll do some shit on Instagram ev- Instagram every now and then. But, yeah, I just remember you saying, like, "No, you're, you're flexible" or "You have, like, good body control."
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Great body control, yeah. Dude, I, I am a fan of movement.
11. FAFahim Anwar
  Mm-hmm.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Anytime someone can do something cool, 'cause I know how hard it is to do cool shit with your body. You know, it's hard. It's hard to do.
13. FAFahim Anwar
  You know, my first acting thing... Like, I was still working at Boeing at the time, and I was auditioning for stuff. I booked this role on Chuck. Remember that show Chuck-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, I remember Chuck.
15. FAFahim Anwar
  ... on NBC?
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
17. FAFahim Anwar
  So, I took a leave of absence to, like, film it. And there was an action scene in it. So, there was a stunt coordinator, and I had to learn these, like, karate moves. They were like movie karate moves.... and the guy was like, "Do you fight, or..." And I go, "No." He's like, "Do you dance?" (laughs) And I go, "Ah, kind of." And he goes, "Yeah, 'cause you, you pick up the moves faster than regular people."
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, that was Patrick Swayze.
19. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Patrick Swayze was a really good dancer. And so when he did Roadhouse, they basically taught him some martial arts moves to be, like, this badass karate fighter. But meanwhile, the karate was dog shit. It was terrible kara- like, I was not impressed with his karate at all.
21. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah. It was beautiful karate.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  But his dance, like if you watch him in Dirty Dancing, like-
23. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh, so good.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  ... this guy can fucking move. Dancing is hard.
25. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  I learned how, I did, um, a scene in Zookeeper-
27. FAFahim Anwar
  Mm-hmm.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  ... where I had to learn dancing, and me and Leslie Bibb, do you know who Leslie Bibb is?
29. FAFahim Anwar
  If I saw her, probably.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  She's the hot chick in Talladega Nights.
8:49 – 11:45
Martial arts forms and why “impractical” movement training matters
1. JRJoe Rogan
  There was a thing that, um, is a part of martial arts, th- they would call it kata, and, uh, I really forget what it's called in, in taekwondo, even though I'm a black belt in taekwondo. I really don't remember what it's called.
2. FAFahim Anwar
  Uh-huh.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  But, uh, oh, poomsae, and it's the same kind of thing like kata. It's like, you're doing forms, and these forms are like these predetermined patterns. You know, you, you step forward, block, step forward, punch. Like, there's a, a simple one that you learn when you're a white belt, and then y- you move up to really complex ones when you're a black belt. And when I was fighting, I used to think they were foolish. I thought that was a total waste of time. I'm like, "Why do I have to learn these forms to get a black belt?" Like, I, I know how to fight. I know, I know how to use the techniques. Like y- I can show you that my kicking and my punching and my timing and everything's very proficient. I'm very good at it. Like, that's a black belt.
4. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Not this form thing. It wasn't until l- m- much later, as I was getting older in life and lear- and I was like, "Oh, there's, like, importance in precision. And there's a precision to those movements that actually does apply to fighting." It doesn't apply directly, but it applies because you're learning precise body control. Like, to kick in the air seems silly, right? 'Cause you should kick things. But when you kick in the air, you have to hold your, your leg out. You learn body control. You learn, and, and through that, you can better kick things. Like, these are, these are, this is a taekwondo form.
6. FAFahim Anwar
  Hmm.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  See, like, that kinda shit?
8. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  I used to be able to do that. Now I can't really kick like that anymore. Like, my flexibility is not as good anymore. I can kinda kick, like... Some, some of the techniques I can still do. But, like-
10. FAFahim Anwar
  So-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  ... I used to be able to do that kinda shit, like, easy, like, straight up splits-
12. FAFahim Anwar
  Damn.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  ... right in the air. But now I'm just fucking... I, I became more of an ape as I got older.
14. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) So does it kinda show you what the movements are like in a perfect world with no resistance, or...?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  It shows you body control, because none of these things are applicable really. Th- there's sometimes you would use those blocks, but, like, you'd never throw a side kick straight up in the air like that. It's really just to show body control.
16. FAFahim Anwar
  What if he did this in front of a bully? Then he goes, "Oh, fuck this shit."
17. JRJoe Rogan
  No, he would-
18. FAFahim Anwar
  "This guy's got such body control. I'm out."
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Fucking grab you and pile drive you. (laughs)
20. FAFahim Anwar
  He goes, "That, that looked nice. Doosh!"
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. There's, y- you know, there's, there's aspects of that though, learning how to move your body like that, if you can lear- learn how to move your body like that... Like, the best people to start in jujitsu are gymnasts and breakdancers, other than wrestlers.
22. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  B- Wrestlers are number one, 'cause wrestlers, they already understand how to control people's bodies. But gymnasts and breakdancers, breakdancers in particular, are fucking amazing when they transition to jujitsu. Like, I've rolled with some breakdancers, and first of all, they're s- like a small guy, you can't believe how goddamn strong they are.
24. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  It's like holding onto a chimp. 'Cause they're used to, like, bouncing around on one hand.
26. FAFahim Anwar
  It's all, like, plyometrics, this body weight could-
27. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm obsessed.
28. FAFahim Anwar
  Like, they're all ripped.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm obsessed with breakdancing.
11:45 – 13:21
Fahim’s breakdancing era: learning online, VHS culture, and South Korea’s dominance
1. FAFahim Anwar
  I got into breakdancing, so first it was Michael Jackson was my entry into dance, so I was always on my feet. And then I got into middle school and high school, and I, I loved breakdancing. I was infatuated with it. And I'd go to this website, I would just try to learn, but I was in Woodinville, Washington, which is, like, very white. Like, if you learn breakdancing, you gotta be in, like, Brooklyn, or you've gotta-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. (laughs)
3. FAFahim Anwar
  It's a, it's a community learned skill.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Right, right.
5. FAFahim Anwar
  I'm trying to learn how to breakdance on Mars.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
7. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) ... but I- I have the will to do it, and I'm the only one at my school who likes this stuff.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Are you learning it online?
9. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah. So I go to this website called Style2Oof. This is before YouTube. So, I would go to this website called Style2Oof, and there was like a French ed- portal and, like, an English portal. I would go to the English one, and they would have all these breakdancing clips. And I would watch 'em, try to learn 'em. And then, do you remember the store Mr. Rags at the mall? It was like a Zoomies or-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
11. FAFahim Anwar
  All right, so there's a store called Mr. Rags. It's kind of like a skate, like a hip hop skate shop, kind of. And they would have VHS copies, like breakdancing, um, videos. And I would g- I got Battle of the Year. I split it with my cousins. It was this yellow cassette. It was called Battle of the Year. It was this yellow VHS, and they had all the crews. It's- it's kind of like breakdancing Olympics. They have crews from all over the world. They have, um, like a US crew, a South Korea cr- and then South Korea ended up just like, killing everybody.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
13. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, they're like the Hyundai of breakdancing. Like-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
15. FAFahim Anwar
  ... everyone laughs at first, and then they just kill everyone. They're like the best now. South Korea's amazing at, uh, breakdancing.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  No kidding.
17. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
13:21 – 18:42
Insane breakdance power moves, practice injuries, and the risk/reward of flips
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow. Well, there's a guy named BBoy PocketKim. Do you know him?
2. FAFahim Anwar
  Hmm. I don't know if I do.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
4. FAFahim Anwar
  'Cause I fell off the... I just wasn't good at it, and I would hurt myself.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  This guy, I've had him... I've, I've featured him on this podcast multiple times 'cause he's on Stance Elements all the time.
6. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  He does things you, you can't even believe a person can do. Like, Stance Elements even has a, w- on their Instagram page, has a video of me reviewing his shit 'cause it's so preposterous.
8. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause, uh, he can do things that you're like, "I didn't think a person could do that. I didn't think a person could move that way on their hands." He spins around on his hands in a way... Like, if you had to imagine, if you didn't know about breakdancing, what do you think a person could do standing on their hands? Well, they can kinda like, I guess you could walk around a little bit.
10. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  This motherfucker can do shit on their hands that most people can't do on their feet. Look at this.
12. FAFahim Anwar
  Yes.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Look at this guy.
14. FAFahim Anwar
  That's what drew me to breakdancing. I, I saw videos, and I'm like, blown away.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  So-
16. FAFahim Anwar
  I go, "What the fuck?"
17. JRJoe Rogan
  ... I'm, I'm 90% sure he's Korean.
18. FAFahim Anwar
  The thing is-
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Look at that.
20. FAFahim Anwar
  ... these power moves-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Psh- fuck.
22. FAFahim Anwar
  ... are common now.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
24. FAFahim Anwar
  What's, what's crazy is, like, established breakdancers g- are like, "Oh, that's like a dick joke or something."
25. JRJoe Rogan
  No, no, no one thinks this is a dick joke. This is fucking outstanding.
26. FAFahim Anwar
  No, I guarantee you there's like hipster or elitist breakdancers who look at just power moves like this, and they go, "No, he's all power, no style."
27. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't think so, man. He's one of the best.
28. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) For some.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  No, no, no. You're talking crazy now.
30. FAFahim Anwar
  So that's, that's the-
18:42 – 20:25
Moving to Texas, comedian migration, and Tom Segura’s injury as a cautionary tale
1. FAFahim Anwar
  I feel very, uh, very established and-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  You are. Bro, you're a fucking top comedian, and you're on the number one podcast on the corner.
3. FAFahim Anwar
  Bro.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  And we're smoking cigars and drinking Scotch.
5. FAFahim Anwar
  This is, uh, I was telling you earlier before we were rolling, it's quite the welcome, man.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Hmm.
7. FAFahim Anwar
  I just got here.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Welcome to Texas.
9. FAFahim Anwar
  What a, what a way to thank you and thank you know-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Faheem is one of the early soldiers arriving.
11. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs)
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Moving.
13. FAFahim Anwar
  I feel like I'm gonna s-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  I, I told you some things I c- you can't tell outside-
15. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, you can't.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  ... about what's happening here, but (knocks on wood) we got plans, my friend.
17. FAFahim Anwar
  Mm-hmm. (drinks) Yeah, people are hitting me up. It's interesting.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  We're moving, we're moving in the right direction.
19. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Segura's already here.
21. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) Oh, he's already here?
22. JRJoe Rogan
  He's, well, he bought a house.
23. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, he's, um, he's healing from his leg-
25. FAFahim Anwar
  Hmm.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and his, his arm from that horrific fall.
27. FAFahim Anwar
  (sighs) Yeah. I can't watch it.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  It's-
29. FAFahim Anwar
  I know it happened, I just don't wanna watch the video.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  I've watched it 100 times.
20:25 – 28:21
“Pillow night,” broken bones, and Joe’s chocolate milk ad (plus body-shaming hypocrisy)
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm like, "Ay, ay." Have you ever broken anything?
2. FAFahim Anwar
  (smacks lips) Eh, I, like, fractured my wrist a long time ago.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Back flipping? What were you doing?
4. FAFahim Anwar
  Nah, I jumped, uh, (laughs) uh, we had this thing called pillow night at my friend's house. (laughs)
5. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
6. FAFahim Anwar
  You like how we delve into the story like it's gonna be quite the yarn?
7. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Pillow night.
8. FAFahim Anwar
  We had a thing called pillow night, like everybody in America, right?
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Hold please while I bust out the Kolibri.
10. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh, yeah. (smacks lips) This is just good audio. (laughs)
11. JRJoe Rogan
  It is, right?
12. FAFahim Anwar
  (smacks lips) This is just good ASMR.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Shout out to Foundation Cigars for hooking us up.
14. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, pillow night. We would gather all the pillows from the sofas and just everywhere around the house and put it on a mound and then put a bedsheet over it. And then you know how some houses have stairs that wrap around and there's, like, a little ledge here where you can-
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
16. FAFahim Anwar
  So we would jump off of that.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, no.
18. FAFahim Anwar
  We're kids. (laughs)
19. JRJoe Rogan
  How old were you?
20. FAFahim Anwar
  Eh, like, 13 or something.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Where were the parents?
22. FAFahim Anwar
  I think they might've been there. This is probably bad parenting.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
24. FAFahim Anwar
  So... (laughs) But they were such cool parents, I didn't wanna throw them under the bus.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh. Cool parents get kids with broken legs. (laughs)
26. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah. So I think they were okay with us doing pillow night. So it, we, we were having a great time, and then one time when I went off, I think my hand went through all of the pillows, all the cracks, and it just hit the ground.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Hmm.
28. FAFahim Anwar
  And I was like, "Ugh, ugh," like I was hurt. And then I go-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  That sounded like Tom.
30. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs) Oh, really?
28:21 – 33:23
LA vs Austin pandemic realities and Fahim’s CBS writing job: ‘United States of Al’
1. FAFahim Anwar
  That's crazy. I think even the perception of Texas, uh, people have it wrong 'cause when I came here, you know, you have this idea of what it's like, 'cause it's a little more open. But you go into these places ... You know, I went to Anton's to check out Kill Tony-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
3. FAFahim Anwar
  ... and then we went to a bar, like, uh, afterwards. Everyone's wearing masks. Everyone's kinda ... They're, they're playing by the rules. Everyone's wearing masks. I think there's this conception that no one's wearing masks and everyone has six shooters and shit.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  This is Austin. This is Austin, though.
5. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Austin is Texas lite.
7. FAFahim Anwar
  Hmm.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  It's the perfect blend, in my opinion, because it's, like, a lot of really cool, open-minded people, a lot of tech people are moving here, a lot of creative people, a lot of musicians. Now, a lot of comedians too.
9. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  And then you got, on the outskirts, the outskirts are guns. The outskirts is all guns. (laughs)
11. FAFahim Anwar
  So, we're in a bubble?
12. JRJoe Rogan
  It's all guns-
13. FAFahim Anwar
  Protected?
14. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and zebras and fucking tigers and giraffes and shit. Yeah, if you just go, like, to Plano, go to Plano town, you're not gonna see any masks.
15. FAFahim Anwar
  Is that the ...
16. JRJoe Rogan
  People don't give a fuck. There's a lot of places in Texas where they don't give a fuck about masks.
17. FAFahim Anwar
  But also, I think their population is so sparse where maybe they can get away with it. Like, LA is just so densely populated. So is New York and-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  There's a little bit of that.
19. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  (clears throat) Yeah, there's a little bit of that. Anytime there's a real, any kind of real problem, you don't wanna be in a highly populated. I always had to think about ... That's why I built an apocalypse truck.
21. FAFahim Anwar
  Uh-huh.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  That's one of the reasons why I buil- ... I built this truck with a giant gas tank and, like, this '95 Toyota Land Cruiser.
23. FAFahim Anwar
  You have it?
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, yeah.
25. FAFahim Anwar
  Huh.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, I, I built it saying, "Okay, if some shit goes down ..." First of all, I just think they're cool. I've always wanted a '95 Land Cruiser. It's, like, the last year where they had, um, two lo- uh, two solid axles, front and rear live axles. Like, these big, thick ch- axles that can l- y- it's a lifted truck. You can kinda go over anything. They have ... It has, uh, lockers and so it has, um, locking differentials on it, so you literally can drive through mud, snow, anything. I'm like, if the shit hits the fan, these fucking roads are gonna be jammed up. You're gonna need to go that way.
27. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, here's a road. You're gonna need to go that way. You can't do that in a Prius. Like, you're gonna have to get the fuck ou- ... I was really worried about ...... earthquakes-
29. FAFahim Anwar
  And now?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  ... fires, some weird shit. If something happens and you have to, like, literally live out of a truck.
33:23 – 39:11
Family expectations, immigrant ‘security’ mindset, and how success changes respect
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I think this all stems from your parents not wanting you to be a standup and being very bummed out that you were an engineer, and you went from being an engineer to being a standup.
2. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  And you, you're always looking for this sort of, like, mainstream acce-... Like, "My son, he's writing for a CBS show."
4. FAFahim Anwar
  Dude, dude. You know what I noticed? 'Cause like, uh, you know, I started standup when I was 17 or 18, and it was bad. W- like, I mean, whatever, we love each other, me and my dad. But it was like I was doing heroin, maybe we talked about it last time.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
6. FAFahim Anwar
  But it was very contentious up top. And time tempered him a bit 'cause he couldn't be that mad for that long 'cause I'd been doing standup for so long, you have to accept it to some degree. But once I got this writing job...
7. JRJoe Rogan
  That was it?
8. FAFahim Anwar
  It was crazy. Like, my dad became a comedy nerd suddenly. He was like, "And how do they write the show? So it's a room and then everyone (laughs) pitches?" Like, he's, I've never had my dad ask me more questions about comedy in my life.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
10. FAFahim Anwar
  Once- yeah. And I realized he wasn't opposed to comedy, he just loves nine to five jobs.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) He loves structure.
12. FAFahim Anwar
  He loves structure.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
14. FAFahim Anwar
  He can wrap his head around punching in and punching out.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. Right, right.
16. FAFahim Anwar
  Like, doing the clubs-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
18. FAFahim Anwar
  ... touring with you or something, or like, doing these sporadic acting things and getting a writing job, this bohemian lifestyle of a, of a standup is too esoteric for him to understand.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm. I get it.
20. FAFahim Anwar
  But where it's like, "They're paying me this."
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
22. FAFahim Anwar
  "I write a script from nine to five." That he gets and he loves. He loves security.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, that's a disciplined man.
24. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  That's what that is. Disciplined people love jobs, they love security.
26. FAFahim Anwar
  It's also an immigrant thing though, too.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
28. FAFahim Anwar
  It's such an American luxury to follow your dreams.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
30. FAFahim Anwar
  And like, what makes me happy?
39:11 – 54:01
Comedy Store experimentation and the birth of Lance Cantstopolis
1. FAFahim Anwar
  That's kinda why I w- I started doing Lance at The Comedy Store, this character that I...
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Lance Stampinopoulos?
3. FAFahim Anwar
  Lance Cantstopoulos?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Cantstopoulos?
5. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah. And that was the beauty of having this-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Didn't you wear a wig?
7. FAFahim Anwar
  I had a mullet.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
9. FAFahim Anwar
  I had a mullet pre-Theo. I was the first mullet, at... I love Theo. But I was the first mullet at The Comedy Store post-'80s. All right? Howie Mandel, he has me there.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  He had a mullet?
11. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh, yeah. Howie Mandel? Yeah, yeah. That, that's Lance. (laughs)
12. JRJoe Rogan
  There's Lance. (laughs) How did you get that on? What is that?
13. FAFahim Anwar
  So that's just like a weave. It's like two rows of extensions. But what's crazy is, I would dress up like that at the store, and people who even knew me as me didn't know that was me.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, I remember one time, I, I said, I brought you up and I said he has an alter ego.
15. FAFahim Anwar
  Oh, I was so mad.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, you were like, "Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't."
17. FAFahim Anwar
  Because he's not, he's not a character. He's a real person.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
19. FAFahim Anwar
  (laughs)
20. JRJoe Rogan
  How did you do that?
21. FAFahim Anwar
  Uh, that's like Photoshop.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
23. FAFahim Anwar
  But the beauty of it was...
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. FAFahim Anwar
  So, I mean, the character developed on accident. It was just organic. That's why I love the Store. Some people think the Store is just like... You know, some of the alt people are just like, "Ugh, it's all, you know, club comics and it sucks."
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Those alt people just need a hug.
27. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, but-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  I, I had an ar- an argument with someone about that. It was like, you know, they, they were saying that they w- they were never accepted there. I'm like, "Oh, God dammit."
29. FAFahim Anwar
  And then once it got hot, then some people were like-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  You gotta-
54:01 – 1:50:49
Standup craft: earning trust, bombing as a gift, and the ‘economy of words’
1. FAFahim Anwar
  And I've noticed that once I dance for 30 seconds, the crowd's just like ready. They're just ready to go. 'Cause one of the hardest things about standup is earning a crowd's trust up top, especially if you're not famous. I've always found it fascinating when... 'Cause I've, you know, I've been not famous longer than I've had some recognition maybe as of late.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  When do you think you started getting recognition? How long ago?
3. FAFahim Anwar
  (sighs) H- it c- it creeps up on you, but-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Three, four years?
5. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, maybe like three or four years. Like, I would do Punch Line and it'd be sold out, and that's weird to me, 'cause most of my life has not been that.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. What, what turned it for you?
7. FAFahim Anwar
  ... it's been, you know, back in the day there was, I think, big breaks. Like a, you do Johnny and you're on.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Hey.
9. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  (sings)
11. FAFahim Anwar
  There were these singular moments that blast you off.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
13. FAFahim Anwar
  And mine has been just such a, a compounding over the years.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  You're so much better off that way.
15. FAFahim Anwar
  I like it too.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  S- so much better, because it's better for your mind.
17. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Because the shift, the shift between one and zero is, uh, it's- it's much slower.
19. FAFahim Anwar
  And I'm so much more grateful for it.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
21. FAFahim Anwar
  Because I know, I know what it was.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
23. FAFahim Anwar
  And if any- i- if anybody like... Sometimes I'll get DM'd or something and it, when I have time, I respond to them and it means a lot. Like it's not lost on me that someone drove somewhere to come see me, or they really enjoyed the show-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. Yeah.
25. FAFahim Anwar
  ... and I'm so grateful. I'm not a child star who just thinks that this is the way the world works.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, you gotta hang onto that.
27. FAFahim Anwar
  I don't think I'll ever lose it, especially 'cause I had to fight so hard to... It wasn't e- like, it's harder when your parents aren't on board with it. Like...
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Right, right, right.
29. FAFahim Anwar
  Yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.

Episode duration: 3:41:10

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Fahim’s “Dance Hour” podcast and the mistaken longboard dancer

Giving credit online, meme “open source” culture, and dance on social media

Dance as body control: Michael Jackson, pop-star choreography, and “feeling it”

Martial arts forms and why “impractical” movement training matters

Fahim’s breakdancing era: learning online, VHS culture, and South Korea’s dominance

Insane breakdance power moves, practice injuries, and the risk/reward of flips

Moving to Texas, comedian migration, and Tom Segura’s injury as a cautionary tale

“Pillow night,” broken bones, and Joe’s chocolate milk ad (plus body-shaming hypocrisy)

LA vs Austin pandemic realities and Fahim’s CBS writing job: ‘United States of Al’

Family expectations, immigrant ‘security’ mindset, and how success changes respect

Comedy Store experimentation and the birth of Lance Cantstopolis

Standup craft: earning trust, bombing as a gift, and the ‘economy of words’

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