Joe Rogan Experience #1607 - Fahim Anwar

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. FAFahim Anwar0:02

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) What'd you say your podcast was?

   3. FAFahim Anwar0:16

      Oh, (laughs) Fahim Anwar Dance Hour.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Oh, the dance hour?

   5. FAFahim Anwar0:19

      The Dance Hour, man.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      Why is it the Dance Hour?

   7. FAFahim Anwar0:21

      It's a loose term, like it's a comedy podcast, but I kind of have an affil- I love dance music and, like, dancing, so-

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:27

      Remember I accidentally posted that thing 'cause I really thought it was you?

   9. FAFahim Anwar0:30

      (laughs) Yeah, yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       I was like, "Damn-"

   11. FAFahim Anwar0:31

       No, no. That was-

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       "... Fahim can fucking move."

   13. FAFahim Anwar0:32

       That was the long boarding video.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Yeah, the guy on the board, yeah. Dancing-

   15. FAFahim Anwar0:35

       Well-

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       ... who's dancing on the board.

   17. FAFahim Anwar0:37

       ... I thought someone... Sometimes people... This thing will happen on Instagram where people keep on sending me pictures or videos of people who kinda look like me.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       That guy kinda looked like you.

   19. FAFahim Anwar0:46

       Yeah, but I-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       I thought it was you.

   21. FAFahim Anwar0:47

       Okay. Well, I just thought it was so funny, I go, "Is there anything I can't do?"

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       (laughs)

   23. FAFahim Anwar0:51

       And I fi- I posted it on my Instagram. And it's this guy, like... His name is Lotifor. We became friends 'cause you did this.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Oh, that's hilarious.

   25. FAFahim Anwar0:58

       Just via Instagram. And it's this guy, I think he's in France, and he's just killing it on a long board. Go to his page, he's amazing.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       I thought you could do that 'cause you dance so well. I thought you could do that too.

   27. FAFahim Anwar1:08

       Well, it's flattering-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:09

       It's my real confidence in you.

   29. FAFahim Anwar1:10

       ... for you to be like... Just throw in a long board?

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       Yeah, this-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. So, again, I…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Did you practice on pads? Did you-

   2. FAFahim Anwar15:02

      Yeah. So, again, I was the only person who cared about this, so I worked out... I asked the gym teacher, I go, "Can I just practice on the wrestling mats after school?" And then I found this other kid who was into it, this like Mexican kid. And then, uh, so-

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      You form a club?

   4. FAFahim Anwar15:17

      Kind of. It was just me and him.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:18

      (laughs)

   6. FAFahim Anwar15:18

      It was an unofficial club. No one really knew about it, and so we would practice on a wrestling mat. And then, you know, 'cause it's softer than hardwoods.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:27

      Sure.

   8. FAFahim Anwar15:27

      'Cause you'll bang your knees up and your elbows-

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:29

      Oh, yeah.

   10. FAFahim Anwar15:29

       ... if you don't know what you're doing up top.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       Is it harder to hold a stance? Because you just... it's, it mushes in a little bit, right? Is it harder to like-

   12. FAFahim Anwar15:35

       Yeah, for like... But we were trying to learn windmills and air tracks and crazy shit. But I learned how to do a back flip off a wall n- in my time. And then-

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       You could do that?

   14. FAFahim Anwar15:45

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       You could just like run up a wall and back flip?

   16. FAFahim Anwar15:46

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:47

       Whoa.

   18. FAFahim Anwar15:47

       And just like a standing back flip, and then a round off to back flip. These are so long ago, I dare not try it because the risk to reward ratio... Like, I don't know if I could still do it, and I don't wanna find out.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       Yeah, you don't wanna break anything.

   20. FAFahim Anwar15:59

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:00

       How old are you now?

   22. FAFahim Anwar16:01

       36.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:01

       Shit breaks easier when you're 36.

   24. FAFahim Anwar16:02

       Yeah, what's the point?

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:04

       Yeah.

   26. FAFahim Anwar16:04

       I'm all right. I don't need to know that bad.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:07

       Yeah. No bueno when you fall wrong from a back flip and break your ankle, and then you're walking around.

   28. FAFahim Anwar16:13

       Yeah. "Why are you paralyzed?" "I just wanted to see if I could still back flip." (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:16

       (laughs)

   30. FAFahim Anwar16:17

       "Turns out I can." And I go...
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      axles. Like, these big, thick ch- axles that can l- y- it's a lifted truck. You can kinda go over anything. They have ... It has, uh, lockers and so it has, um, locking differentials on it, so you literally can drive through mud, snow, anything. I'm like, if the shit hits the fan, these fucking roads are gonna be jammed up. You're gonna need to go that way.

   2. FAFahim Anwar30:19

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:20

      Like, here's a road. You're gonna need to go that way. You can't do that in a Prius. Like, you're gonna have to get the fuck ou- ... I was really worried about ...... earthquakes-

   4. FAFahim Anwar30:28

      And now?

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:28

      ... fires, some weird shit. If something happens and you have to, like, literally live out of a truck.

   6. FAFahim Anwar30:34

      Yeah, I'm fucked. I'll have to hit you up.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:36

      You just can't live-

   8. FAFahim Anwar30:36

      Joe, swing by.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:37

      ... where there's too many people. It's not tenable.

   10. FAFahim Anwar30:40

       That's kind of why I left LA. I mean, it's tentative. I- I have an apartment-

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       Bro.

   12. FAFahim Anwar30:46

       ... out here.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       Bro, I got plans for you.

   14. FAFahim Anwar30:47

       You got plans for me? (laughs) Just, uh-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       We have to s- we have to, we gotta do this, man.

   16. FAFahim Anwar30:52

       I'm day two, day two, day three in Austin. But the genesis of it was, uh, I have this writing job back in LA, so I'm writing for some sitcom. And it's a Zoom writer's room. So we all hop on Zoom, we write the script and all that, and also, we're shooting now, so we're watching, we're watching th- the actors, you know.

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       Can you say the show?

   18. FAFahim Anwar31:13

       Yeah. It's a CBS show called United States of Al. It's not out yet. April 1st.

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       Who's in it? Al Franken making a comeback?

   20. FAFahim Anwar31:19

       (laughs) Yeah, it's an Al Franken vehicle. (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:22

       He's just doing coke with a Hawaiian shirt on. (laughs) "They fucking Me Too'd me, I didn't even do anything!"

   22. FAFahim Anwar31:28

       Yeah. It's his comeback, baby.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:29

       "Ah!"

   24. FAFahim Anwar31:30

       Uh, no, it's a, it's like a Chuck Lorre show.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:34

       Oh, okay.

   26. FAFahim Anwar31:34

       He owns CB-... He has so many shows. Um-

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:36

       Yeah, that guy is, uh, he's the OG, right?

   28. FAFahim Anwar31:38

       Yeah, man. He's like Norman Lear 2.0. And then I gotta shout out Dave and Maria, the EPs of the show. They, you know, wanted... They were familiar with me from The Comedy Store and standup. And it was really cool the way I got the job 'cause, you know, most staff writers, you send in a packet, and it's really hard to get, like, a staff writing job. But they just offered it to me. They, they just knew my standup and were fans of it, and were like, "Would you like to write on the show?" And it was in the middle of a pandemic, so I'm like, "Yeah, of course, like, I've got nothing else going on." Like, standup was shut down. What else am I gonna do during the day? And...

   29. JRJoe Rogan32:10

       It's good to keep active.

   30. FAFahim Anwar32:12

       It's good to keep active and also I've learned, I've been a stand-up for so long, I've been doing, like, 18 years, I've just been... You're an astronaut when you're a stand-up. You're just floating, you're like a mercenary. And I love it so much, I have so much respect for standup and the craft, but I've learned, even just having this job for, like, a month or two or whatever, uh, perception is reality. 'Cause just because I value standup so much doesn't mean the rest of the world does. Like, this job was kind of serendipitously happened and I got it, and just some of the headway I've been able to make just because you have, I'm a writer on the CBS Chuck Lorre show, like heads turn a little bit. People respect it 'cause they know it.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   (laughs) …

   1. FAFahim Anwar45:00

      I, I'm like... I go, "I gotta do an accent, otherwise this makes no sense." So, I get introduced Lance Cantstopolis. I come out. I'm like, "What's up? How's everybody doing tonight? You're good?"

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      (laughs)

   3. FAFahim Anwar45:09

      And I just do crowd work. "Oh, there's some cougars."

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:12

      Did you have a backstory?

   5. FAFahim Anwar45:13

      I have no backstory, so I'm just like, "What's up, coo-" I'm just doing crowd work, no material.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:16

      You had cougars in the crowd?

   7. FAFahim Anwar45:17

      Yeah, I'm like, "What's up? You got tiny champagnes? Yeah, how does it taste? (scoffs) Yeah, they're good?" And then, it was getting a type of laugh that is different than a joke laugh. Like, I've killed before as, as me, and... But, but there were these moments that were so special, where it planted the seed-

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:36

      Oh.

   9. FAFahim Anwar45:36

      ... where I go, "Oh, this is different." This is kind of like when you're a kid with your friends or your brother. It's a childlike laughter. You don't have to be like, "Oh, that's clever." It just punches you in the chest. So, I started doing it a little more reg- Like, three months later or two months later, I tried it again. And then I started to really hone in on who this guy is and, like, how to do it. 'Cause sometimes it would be magical. It would fucking, like, blow the room up, and then sometimes it'd be very whatever. But then I got good at, like... And it just became Q&A. There's no material with Lance.

   10. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       (laughs)

   11. FAFahim Anwar46:13

       So (laughs) , they introduce, they go, "Lance Cantstopolis," and they crank up this dance music, and then Lance dances for, like, a minute. Just, just dances. And it sets the tone. It's so beautiful, because people are on board. After they see a guy dance for, like, 30 seconds up top, when they've been watching guys come up and... It's like everyone's playing baseball and Lance is playing lacrosse. So, dances for, like, a minute, and then he's like, "How's everybody doing tonight? Anybody have any questions for me?" (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan46:40

       It shows how loose you are, too, that you can go on stage and dance.

   13. FAFahim Anwar46:43

       Yeah. But it's kind of a testament to that stand up on the spot, no net. 'Cause... And it's liberating, 'cause I'm a heady guy. I'm like, I'll think about jokes and structure when I do me. Like, "All right, what do I wanna do tonight?" Lance, I don't have to think. I just show up.

   14. JRJoe Rogan46:59

       Do you put yourself in a Lance mindset?

   15. FAFahim Anwar47:00

       Not really. I'm kind of in the back. I have the mullet. And, like, as soon as they play the music, I dance for 30 seconds, and that's just so freeing.

   16. JRJoe Rogan47:08

       Yeah.

   17. FAFahim Anwar47:09

       And then once I'm done with that, it's just Q&A. And Lance is so fast and quick that it surprises some people. And it's just so fun.

   18. JRJoe Rogan47:18

       You say Lance like it's not you.

   19. FAFahim Anwar47:20

       C- 'cause it's not.

   20. JRJoe Rogan47:21

       Uh-

   21. FAFahim Anwar47:21

       Like, my mom would hit me up. She'd be like, "I don't like the way Lance."

   22. JRJoe Rogan47:25

       (laughs)

   23. FAFahim Anwar47:25

       "I didn't, I didn't raise you that way. I don't like the way Lance-"

   24. JRJoe Rogan47:28

       She saw Lance?

   25. FAFahim Anwar47:29

       "... talks about fucking." (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:32

       (laughs)

   27. FAFahim Anwar47:33

       No, 'cause I would post it on Instagram and YouTube and shit.

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:35

       You, you mother said that? (laughs) Ah, there you are.

   29. FAFahim Anwar47:38

       Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:39

       "I like Lance."
5. 1:00:00 – 1:06:41

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      (laughs)

   2. FAFahim Anwar1:00:00

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      And like, but it's like I had to get to this point where I was explain- And it got, it was a bit about a crazy person.

   4. FAFahim Anwar1:00:06

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      And the- the whole bit was about this guy, like thinking this is his last day on Earth. Like, "Fuck this. I'm gonna fuck it." This suicidal guy who's running through the White House lawn thinking, "Is this the last step of my life? Is this the last step of my life? Is this the l-" And he finally gets to the door, he grabs it. It's unlocked. He opens it. There's a woman in there.

   6. FAFahim Anwar1:00:26

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

      Smacks her to the ground. And he's running through the fucking White House. The only thing that saved the President was that there was an off-duty Secret Service guy who was having coffee, and this guy ran past him. He was like, "What the fuck is going on?" I think the guy was in his underwear too.

   8. FAFahim Anwar1:00:41

      Jeez.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

      I think it was something crazy. And he tackles this guy-... and, uh, but that, the waters of getting through, women can do everything. And I remember, there was multiple times, like one, one serious time, there was a, an executive from some fucking network who was in the audience. She was drunk. She's like, "No! No!" And I was like, "Y- you gotta let me finish 'cause there's a point to this. It's I'm gonna shit on myself, but you're not letting me finish."

   10. FAFahim Anwar1:01:05

       Yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       And then I did shit on myse- and she kept going. I'm like, "Oh, Jesus, lady."

   12. FAFahim Anwar1:01:09

       So, that's what I'm talking about.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:01:10

       Yeah.

   14. FAFahim Anwar1:01:10

       Like, you massaged it. You did the work.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:01:12

       But-

   16. FAFahim Anwar1:01:12

       But like 99.9% of the crowd-

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:14

       Yes.

   18. FAFahim Anwar1:01:14

       ... like, if the crowd is laughing as a whole, that is a reflection that you've done the work in the time that we're in to get away with that joke.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:22

       Mm-hmm.

   20. FAFahim Anwar1:01:22

       Maybe five years from now, I've, there's bits that I've done looking back where I'm like, "I wouldn't do that today." I've grown. Society has grown. But just the mere fact of tackling a certain subject, even though you've done the work, there is a subsect of people who will be like, who will still do that, "No! No!"

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:39

       Yeah.

   22. FAFahim Anwar1:01:39

       And that's, that's their own thing. That's always gonna be there.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:42

       They're looking for-

   24. FAFahim Anwar1:01:42

       They're looking.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:42

       They're looking for a moment where they can chime in.

   26. FAFahim Anwar1:01:44

       Yes.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:44

       And a lot of it is they can't even help it because they're drunk. You know, when people get lit up, th- you're drunk and, and y- and you finally, "Can I be offended? I think I can be offended now! It's time!"

   28. FAFahim Anwar1:01:55

       It's the beauty and the downfall of a comedy club. I mean, it doesn't happen very often, but the beauty is that it's this fun ...

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:02:01

       Wild.

   30. FAFahim Anwar1:02:01

       It's, it's like a fort.

Episode duration: 3:41:10