Joe Rogan Experience #1621 - Jim Breuer

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Jim Breuer 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience. (drum roll) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (drum roll)

Joe Rogan 0:10 (upbeat music) Hello, Jim Breuer.

Jim Breuer 0:16 'Sup, Joe?

Joe Rogan 0:16 We're doing it. It's happening.

Jim Breuer 0:17 Oh, it just started?

Joe Rogan 0:18 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're rolling.

Jim Breuer 0:19 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 0:20 Good to see you, brother.

Jim Breuer 0:20 Good to see you, too.

Joe Rogan 0:21 Dude, you're like one of my long- longest term comedy friends. Like, we've known each other since the early years, man.

Jim Breuer 0:28 I want to say like '91?

Joe Rogan 0:31 Yeah, I think it's around '91.

Jim Breuer 0:33 And what a lot of people probably don't even know is, like, the way your TV career, your- Hardball.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Yeah, you were- (laughs) you were on Hardball. Jim, uh, and I did a, a pilot for a sitcom that was on Fox in like '93.

Jim Breuer 0:49 Yep.

Joe Rogan 0:49 Right?

Jim Breuer 0:49 Yep.

Joe Rogan 0:49 Like '93?

Jim Breuer 0:50 Yep.

Joe Rogan 0:50 And Jim was, uh-

Jim Breuer 0:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:53 (laughs) He was the mascot-

Jim Breuer 0:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:54 ... for the opposing team.

Jim Breuer 0:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 0:56 And it was fucking hilarious. Goddamn, we had fun. I have a photo of you and I, and we look like babies. I gotta find it. We look like babies.

Jim Breuer 1:05 I would love to see that photo.

Joe Rogan 1:06 Yeah, we were both like 26 and we're little cute face little babies.

Jim Breuer 1:11 And I remember, I remember watching the show so excited for you. And then, and then after Hardball, 'cause I'd always follow you, you then... Was it News Radio?

Joe Rogan 1:23 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:23 And I'm like, "Joe's on News Radio." And I'd tell my wife and we would watch like, "We're so excited for Joe." And then just watching you just constantly grow and grow and then, and then when you started doing the UFC, I wa- I would tell my friends, like, "That's the real Joe." Like, "That's Joe's in his-" And when you start doing this, I went, "That's, that's Joe Rogan, man." Meaning, this is, this is how I've known you forever and it's not like we've hung out all the time. But I, I remember just being in LA just hanging out talking to you. And I, and I, I couldn't relate to a lot of d- You know, I was st- I wanted leather pants and a fucking-

Joe Rogan 2:11 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 2:11 ... white tiger walking down. I was, I was chasing it all, whatever, like, "Oh, start 'em that way." (imitates snorting) "Start-"

Joe Rogan 2:17 What did you want?

Jim Breuer 2:18 Dude, f- the first time I went to LA-

Joe Rogan 2:21 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 2:21 I went into a place and I bought like satin blue cloth- I wanted red-

Joe Rogan 2:28 Really?

Jim Breuer 2:28 I wanted Eddie Murphy leather pants wit- wit- i- wit- wit- like a tiger. I wanted to walk down Melrose with a tiger just so people'd go, "The fucker's successful."

Joe Rogan 2:41 (laughs) So you had some like, uh-

Jim Breuer 2:44 And-

Joe Rogan 2:44 ... high school boy, like the posters on the wall, like these kinda thoughts-

Jim Breuer 2:49 Y-

Joe Rogan 2:49 ... about success?

Jim Breuer 2:50 Well that- Well, MTV showed me that.

Joe Rogan 2:52 Yeah, uh-huh.

Jim Breuer 2:52 So I wanted to be a-

Joe Rogan 2:54 Oh right, right.

Jim Breuer 2:54 ... I wanted to be, uh, Judas Priest.

Joe Rogan 2:56 Right.

Jim Breuer 2:56 I wanted to... I didn't know the guy was wearing an S&M outfit as far as you know.

Joe Rogan 3:01 (laughs) Nobody did. He taught so many guys.

Jim Breuer 3:03 He came out with a bullwhip and-

Joe Rogan 3:05 When he came out as gay, a lot of guys were like, "Hey, well wait a minute. Oh, duh." I mean, look how he's dr- Go to g- give me a photo of Rob Halford. I met Rob Halford, he's a really nice guy. I did, uh, this, uh, VH1 show that I hosted once and he was one of the guests on it. Super cool guy.

Jim Breuer 3:23 Great guy.

Joe Rogan 3:24 You got another thing coming.

Jim Breuer 3:26 And, and I would-

Joe Rogan 3:28 Look at him.

Jim Breuer 3:28 ... I would-

Joe Rogan 3:29 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 3:29 ... I would argue with people. They'd go, "Breuer, you know this guy's gay?" I'm like, "No he's not!"

Joe Rogan 3:35 Look at the chaps, you don't even see the chaps in that picture, you just see the top of 'em with the-

Jim Breuer 3:38 He's got, he's got a bullwhip, he's wearing an S&M outfit.

Joe Rogan 3:42 Yes.

Jim Breuer 3:42 He's-

Joe Rogan 3:42 Look at that one, go to that one with the open shirt and the vest.

Jim Breuer 3:44 Right there!

Joe Rogan 3:45 Yeah, yeah.

Jim Breuer 3:45 He's screaming, "I'm gay."

Joe Rogan 3:47 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 3:48 And I'm yelling at people going, "No he's not, he's metal, you moron."

Joe Rogan 3:53 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 3:55 And, and the reason why I would d- argue is 'cause I'd say, "He doesn't have an earring in his right ear," 'cause that's what defined-

Joe Rogan 4:02 That was the thing back then.

Jim Breuer 4:03 ... what was gay.

Joe Rogan 4:03 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 4:04 I had dangling cross earrings, so everyone that was gay knew, "Hey, Breuer is not gay, he's got it on the left side."

Joe Rogan 4:11 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 4:11 But if you had it on the right ear, you're like, "Oh, this guy's-"

Joe Rogan 4:14 Remember that?

Jim Breuer 4:15 Of course I do.

Joe Rogan 4:16 I remember if you were a rock and roll guy, you were allowed to have one in two ears.

Jim Breuer 4:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:20 Like you were a rebel.

Jim Breuer 4:20 It's still, it's a little sketch.

Joe Rogan 4:22 It's still a little sketch?

Jim Breuer 4:22 For me it was a little sketch.

Joe Rogan 4:23 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 4:24 If you had it in your right ear, like, "Dude."

Joe Rogan 4:26 And if you had hoops, they couldn't be too big.

Jim Breuer 4:29 Mmm.

Joe Rogan 4:29 I, I remember I got a hoop on my left ear and it was a little too big and I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, "I don't know about that hoop. That hoop's a little big."

Jim Breuer 4:35 I think, I'm glad I didn't know you at that point.

Joe Rogan 4:39 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 4:39 (laughs) Yeah, like, "I think Joe turned a corner."

Joe Rogan 4:43 Something about that hoop.

Jim Breuer 4:43 Yeah, something about Joe, yeah, he turned a corner.

Joe Rogan 4:45 Yeah, Rob Halford got everybody to dress up like an S&M person.

Jim Breuer 4:48 Dude, I swear on my life, I went to this little sh- I grew up in Long Island and there was this little rock and roll shop named Slip Disc and they sold the Rob Halford with the spikes and I got-

Joe Rogan 5:03 A glove?

Jim Breuer 5:04 No, it was around your wristband.

Joe Rogan 5:06 Oh, the wrist thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jim Breuer 5:07 And I remember going to order pizza and I, and I roll up my denim jacket and I go, "Lemme get two slices." And I just would let everyone know like, "You see what the fuck I got on?"

Joe Rogan 5:18 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 5:20 You see what's going down right here.

Joe Rogan 5:22 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 5:23 (laughs) What a bunch of morons.

Joe Rogan 5:26 Ah, it's so silly.

Jim Breuer 5:27 That's why I can't, that's why I can't get annoyed at my kids.

Joe Rogan 5:30 Mm.

Jim Breuer 5:30 Because I's, uh, I was s- I had a dangling cross earring, I'm wearing a denim jacket with painted Judas Priest on the back and I think I know the world. I mean that's-

Joe Rogan 5:41 You got to.

Jim Breuer 5:41 And I'm in LA and I'm ready to wear leather pants.

Joe Rogan 5:43 Every kid's gotta be able to make their own fucking ridiculous mistakes like that.

Jim Breuer 5:48 Yeah, oh, so it was-

Joe Rogan 5:49 So important.

Jim Breuer 5:49 What I, I know you don't remember, but I, I remember being in LA with you. I don't know what the hell we, maybe it was for the pilot. And I'm ready to go and, and g- go star humping and get my star on and you're like, "Dude, wanna go to the gym?" I went, "The gym?"

Joe Rogan 6:08 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 6:09 ... why would you want to go to the gym in L.A.? Like, "Bro, I'm going to the gym and I'm going to the pool hall. You want to go to the pool hall?" And you, and you dragged me to the pool hall and-

Joe Rogan 6:18 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 6:18 ... I was just like, "What am I doing?"

Joe Rogan 6:20 That was Hollywood Billiards.

Jim Breuer 6:22 Yes.

Joe Rogan 6:22 Famous place.

Jim Breuer 6:23 But you stayed who you were and that I always admired. I always admired that.

Joe Rogan 6:32 Well, I got lucky. Uh, the, those things didn't have an appeal to me, like going to parties and all that stuff. It just di- there was no appeal, uh, for whatever reason I just didn't find it interesting. I mean, occasionally.

Jim Breuer 6:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:43 Occasionally.

Jim Breuer 6:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:44 Go to a party, talk to some interesting people, it's fun. But for the most part, it felt like it was a lot of standing around and in Hollywood, the conversations that were really interesting were few and far between.

Jim Breuer 6:54 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 6:55 They weren't that f- Like, I've been to parties at friend's house that have, like, really cool friends and you, you meet interesting people and you have, like, really fun conversations. But in Hollywood it was a lot of, like, "Who you know and what are you doing and what we're planning and how we're gonna take over and-"

Jim Breuer 7:10 "Did you... Has a deal?"

Joe Rogan 7:12 Oh.

Jim Breuer 7:13 "Oh my god, I know him. I could hook you up with that producer."

Joe Rogan 7:15 Oh, the deal thing. The deal thing. And getting to know actors was such a... It was like these poor folks had, uh ... You know, you know how a lot of kids today have a real problem with social media because they're looking at other people's stuff and other people's faces look perfect 'cause they're wearing filters. And they have this, this, they see other people partying and they have the, the FOMO, the fear of missing out and it's just, it's, they're constantly comparing themselves to other people. Well, for actors, when I saw, when I lived, uh, in, uh, you know, in the '90s in Hollywood, it was, uh, The Hollywood Reporter and, like, uh, Variety and all of the, the industry magazines-

Jim Breuer 7:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:53 ... they would all sit around reading 'em the same way, like, a jealous person looks at someone's Instagram. Like, you look at some guy's car. "God, he's got a fucking '69 Camaro. Shit."

Jim Breuer 8:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:03 You know? And they just, they look at her with her Gucci bag and her this and her that.

Jim Breuer 8:06 And they'd also flaunt. I, I remember being with, uh, some ... I don't even want to give the person credit. So I'm working with some person and-

Joe Rogan 8:15 What's their name rhyme with?

Jim Breuer 8:17 ... um, Hats. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:21 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 8:23 So Mr., Mr. Hats-

Joe Rogan 8:26 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 8:26 ... who's literally like a Dr. Seuss character anyway-

Joe Rogan 8:30 Right.

Jim Breuer 8:30 ... um, would try to impress his people and I'll never forget, he's like, "I've got this brand new Lamborghini. You gotta check it out." And so I ... But Mr. Hats didn't buy a brand new Lamborghini, he bought a used one, and he goes to this lot which is next to Jay Len- It's just, that's all they do is name drop-

Joe Rogan 8:50 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 8:50 ... name drop, money, name drop and so he's pulling out of the garage, the side view mirror starts dangling- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:58 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 8:58 ... and the b- and the back f- and he's six foot three so he's in this fucking thing like this.

Joe Rogan 9:03 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 9:05 "Hop over there, Papa-"

Joe Rogan 9:07 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 9:07 "... while I try to abuse more young minds like yourself and rape your ideas." (laughs) (claps hands) And so he hopped in there and then the thing bottomed out and, you know, broke down two days later. But going to that distance just to show off is g- is just exhausting, thank God.

Joe Rogan 9:27 Some people, they think that that's the only way in their head they've ever made it. They have to have that thing where they show, "I've got the Lamborghini, I got the house in the Hollywood Hills, like, here I am." Like, that's one of the reasons why people like to sh- th- throw parties. It's not just to have a bunch of people over to their house; it's to show you what they have, like, "Look."

Jim Breuer 9:46 And I was-

Joe Rogan 9:46 "Look at all I have."

Jim Breuer 9:46 And thank ... I was falling for that in the beginning.

Joe Rogan 9:49 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 9:49 I fell for it hard but, um-

Joe Rogan 9:51 How'd you get out of it? 'Cause you live, uh... I, I love the way you live. You live in New Jersey, you live in a, like, a nice, beautiful community with trees and shit-

Jim Breuer 10:01 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 10:01 ... and everything's calm and-

Jim Breuer 10:02 Yes.

Joe Rogan 10:02 ... and you're a family man.

Jim Breuer 10:04 Yes.

Joe Rogan 10:04 Like, I, I love the fact that you, you just, you just went, "No, no, no. No, no, no."

Jim Breuer 10:09 Yeah, I, I grew up pro- probably like the way you did. I don't know exactly how you... I grew up very blue collar. My dad was sanitation, my mom worked at the airport, we lived near JFK and everyone looked after each other. It was a community, it was a fam- You may not have liked each other, but everyone... I thrived for that my whole life once I left it and Hollywood doesn't present, nothing represents, so how did I leave it? I think it was, uh, it was, uh... Honestly, I think getting fired, f- f- seeing too much of Hollywood: I, I got shot out of a cannon and I immediately had such a disgusting taste in my life that I wanted nothing to do with anybody.

Joe Rogan 10:56 Yeah, you went from SNL to just going, "Fuck it. I'm just gonna do standup. I'm gonna do my radio show, I'm gonna do standup."

Jim Breuer 11:05 Right after th- Well, okay, so when you ... At the end of the day, uh, uh, I didn't even want SNL. I didn't want SNL. Uh, you and I both know that was, uh ... Nobody came out of there going, "That's the greatest gig." It's very rarely people came out of there.

Joe Rogan 11:21 They come out of there like they were in a fight.

Jim Breuer 11:23 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Like they just got out of a fucking bar fight, like, "Ugh."

Jim Breuer 11:25 Abs- (laughs) Exactly. Fucking-

Joe Rogan 11:27 That's how Phil Hartman was. When, when I first started working with Phil Hartman in '94, he had just left SNL and he ... It took a while for him to be comfortable around us.

Jim Breuer 11:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:37 Like, the news radio people, the actors were super friendly.

Jim Breuer 11:40 Yes.

Joe Rogan 11:40 Everybody liked to get hammered.

Jim Breuer 11:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:42 That was, like, the big thing, we would get fucking blasted drunk.

Jim Breuer 11:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:46 But we were-

Jim Breuer 11:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:47 ... all, like, really, like, in terms of, like, actors, genuinely supportive. Like, Dave Foley was the most supportive guy ever, like, he was always writing jokes for you, he was always, like, wri- rewriting scenes for you, like, "Jim, why don't you come in and say this instead?" Or, and he would write, like, really great lines.... but, uh, Phil was like, he looked like he was in a competition at first. He thought, like, everybody was gonna be competi- and then he ... Once he relaxed ... Phil liked to smoke weed. And once he relaxed, he's like, "You know, going over there was like, everybody was like dog eat dog and everybody's at each other's throats."

Jim Breuer 12:19 I- it's dog eat dog. It's i- i- and there's no rhyme or reason.

Joe Rogan 12:23 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 12:24 There's no rhyme or reason. It's, it's just like politics.

Joe Rogan 12:26 Right.

Jim Breuer 12:26 In other words, I can't help with Congress what bill they're gonna pass, even they know, even they know this is gonna work, nope.

Joe Rogan 12:33 Same kinda stuff.

Jim Breuer 12:34 It's the same exact thing.

Joe Rogan 12:35 'Cause you're fighting to get your bits on, right? You're fighting to get your pieces on. You're fighting to get your, your little sketches on.

Jim Breuer 12:40 A- a- yeah, and the worst, the, the, the worst part is, you know something's gonna work, and you have someone come to you ... There were ... Towards the end, it made me such a dark human being, 'cause I- I'm the, "Hey, man, let's all-"

Joe Rogan 12:56 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 12:57 "... let's all p- be a team and ..." I used to ... W- when I, when I worked with Hats, I said, "Let's look at this roster. Holy crap. Let's see who goes in the Boston Comedy Club. Let's just buy a script and put everyone in it and let them play to their strength." Wow, you know, this one ... I'm like, uh, uh, I wish I had the business smarts to go back and do that, because you're ... Y- y- I ... It would've been, it would've been so much fun. I mean, uh, maybe it would've been a disaster. Maybe this guy ... Maybe I wouldn't end up getting leather pants, or I got my fucking-

Joe Rogan 13:32 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 13:32 ... White Lion leather pant, but it makes you so ... You know, I- I- I don't wanna-

Joe Rogan 13:40 You can get bitter.

Jim Breuer 13:40 ... rehash bad memories but-

Joe Rogan 13:42 You never got ... You never got bitter, but you understood that bitterness is an option.

Jim Breuer 13:46 Correct, and I started smoking intense amount of pot.

Joe Rogan 13:49 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 13:49 Just to numb myself.

Joe Rogan 13:50 I remember when you told me you quit, and you were like, "Dude, I'm hearing voices. I think the government's following me." (laughs)

Jim Breuer 13:56 (exhales)

Joe Rogan 13:56 You went so far. (laughs)

Jim Breuer 13:57 I went far.

Joe Rogan 14:00 "I let Jim quit?" And but, then I talked to y'all, and go, "Oh, he might've went into Never Never Land. He w- he went, he went into the Land of No Return."

Jim Breuer 14:07 Well-

Joe Rogan 14:08 When you start thinking that the government is watching you.

Jim Breuer 14:10 Nonstop.

Joe Rogan 14:11 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 14:11 Nonstop. They're onto me, 'cause they know I think by myself.

Joe Rogan 14:15 The helicopters. (imitates helicopter blades whirring)

Jim Breuer 14:16 Fuck it. It's like the scene in Goodfellas. "Goddamn it, fucking helicopter."

Joe Rogan 14:21 Fucking love that scene.

Jim Breuer 14:22 But, um, I will say this, um, yeah, I have ...

Joe Rogan 14:29 Have you returned to the fold?

Jim Breuer 14:30 I haven't returned the way I have in the past.

Joe Rogan 14:33 Oh, but a little bit.

Jim Breuer 14:34 But I have, I have, uh ... You will never see me. It's very private.

Joe Rogan 14:40 You have s- you're a private weed smoker?

Jim Breuer 14:43 (smacks lips) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:43 How- how's that work?

Jim Breuer 14:45 Uh, in other words, I don't do it with people anymore 'cause it keeps the paranoia away, 'cause I don't trust anyone.

Joe Rogan 14:50 Oh, okay.

Jim Breuer 14:50 I don't trust anyone.

Joe Rogan 14:51 Okay.

Jim Breuer 14:51 I still don't ... And I haven't smoked-smoked. I, like, I went to the-

Joe Rogan 14:57 Little bit.

Jim Breuer 14:58 I went out to Colorado in the five little milligrams and the ten little mi-

Joe Rogan 15:02 Fives are nice. Those little edibles.

Jim Breuer 15:04 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 15:05 Five's nice.

Jim Breuer 15:06 Yes.

Joe Rogan 15:06 Gentle, gentle.

Jim Breuer 15:06 Just have that and go ... Yeah, and then have, like, a martini.

Joe Rogan 15:10 Mm, yeah.

Jim Breuer 15:11 And I'm set.

Joe Rogan 15:11 Yeah, martini. Extra dirty?

Jim Breuer 15:14 Not too dirty.

Joe Rogan 15:14 I like it dirty.

Jim Breuer 15:15 I like it, I like it not crazy dirty, but a little dirty.

Joe Rogan 15:18 A little dirty.

Jim Breuer 15:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:20 I like that olive juice. It's delicious.

Jim Breuer 15:22 I do too. So, here's what happened. My wife ... This is why, this is why my wife's a powerhouse. She ... When you find someone that don't give a shit about the industry, and they only care about you, it's very hard as, as an artist that's chasing a star ... 'Cause you're always chasing a star, and you're always chasing the mansion. She would go ... I'll never forget. She's like, "Why don't you just quit? Like, are y- seriously, are you stupid? You don't quit Saturday Night Live. What the hell is wr-" Sh- and she's like, "Look at you. You come home. You're miserable. They control everything. They steal your ideas. This one stole ... I saw her with my own two eyes how they treated you in this particular-"

Joe Rogan 16:08 How do they steal your ideas?

Jim Breuer 16:10 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 16:11 Here we go.

Jim Breuer 16:12 I'll give you ... I-

Joe Rogan 16:12 You sure you don't wanna get high first?

Jim Breuer 16:14 No.

Joe Rogan 16:15 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 16:15 Let's go take a pee break.

Joe Rogan 16:17 (claps hands) Let's take a pee break.

Jim Breuer 16:20 No. Here's ... And again, I've released all this.

Joe Rogan 16:23 Okay.

Jim Breuer 16:23 You know? I got a strong moral backbone, I'm good. So, no, I don't have any bad feelings. So what happened was, and I'm not gonna put out any- I d- I don't wanna hash names and all that. But what would happen is something like this. You're writing a sketch, and then one of the head writers would come in, in the doorway, and go, "Hey, I see you're writing a sketch about blah, blah, blah," 'cause we have the main server and we check everyone's sketches. "I just wanna let you know I'm writing the same thing." He goes, "You can continue yours, but, you know, I'm in the room with Lorne. I'm just-"

Joe Rogan 17:03 Whoa.

Jim Breuer 17:04 Oh, yeah. So, this is at-

Joe Rogan 17:06 So they would go onto the server. They would see the sketches that you're writing, and then-

Jim Breuer 17:11 Then there was, then there was times where a cast member would come in and look at, look at my board and go, "Oh, what does that mean?" Like, "Oh, that's, that's a, that's a sketch, and I know so-and-so's coming, and I know the ratings are gonna be high that week, so I'm waiting to bring my A stuff for that p- everyone's gonna come out with their fangs out when this one's on, so I'm gonna save that sketch for when they're on." And then this person would ask me, "Oh, my Go- Wh- what exactly..." I said, "Well, I'm gonna take it out of its element," you know, like, for ... Like, I would ... Back then, I was like Pesci. I'm like, "Pesci's gonna read to children about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and tell- explain why his nose is red, and the big joke is 'cause he's a rat, and, and c- compared to a whole neighborhood. He's a rat, that's why his nose is red, and when you got ..." And so you end up beating certain kids, blah, blah. The next week-... the whole room is set and, and you're sitting there and then this person, you know, Lorne goes, "Well, next sketch is, uh, you know, Al Pacino as Scarface reading to ch- schoolchildren Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." And you go, you, you, y- and you look, you see their, their eyes are down. You know what's going on, you know what happened.

Joe Rogan 18:37 And you can't say anything.

Jim Breuer 18:40 Well, when you say something, which I eventually did... Dude, I think I may be, and I, I wanna challenge all SNL cast and writers, I may be the last one that threatened violence. I was in, I was in a room with one of the guys and I literally said, "I will knock your fucking teeth down your fucking throat, you motherfucker! If you don't want to fucking be here, get the fuck out! You don't shit on my shit 'cause you don't wanna fucking..." Oh, dude.

Joe Rogan 19:16 Whoa.

Narrator 19:16 (clears throat)

Jim Breuer 19:16 And I was... And I told him, said, "I'm knocking the f- I'll knock his fucking teeth down his throat. I'm not f- I'm not from the writing world." So that's where that place brought me.

Joe Rogan 19:25 Wow.

Jim Breuer 19:26 And so, in that particular instance was... See, now I'm getting all over the place.

Joe Rogan 19:31 That's gotta be coming from the top down because the, when, when I got alone with Phil, like Phil and I became close and, you know, we would hang out together, especially in his, his dressing room. He had a nice dressing room, had it all set up, had a guitar, was looking at his aviation books and shit, and,-

Jim Breuer 19:48 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 19:48 ... and he would, uh, we would talk about his time there and he's like, "It just made me, that's just bitter and angry."

Jim Breuer 19:54 Yes.

Joe Rogan 19:55 Yeah, and it... But it seems like it's always been that way, that it's been from the top down.

Jim Breuer 19:59 (sighs) And, and this particular inst-

Joe Rogan 20:01 What year were you on?

Jim Breuer 20:02 '95 to '98.

Joe Rogan 20:03 So you were on right after Phil left.

Jim Breuer 20:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:06 Because I was-

Jim Breuer 20:06 Yes.

Joe Rogan 20:06 ... with Phil in '94.

Jim Breuer 20:08 Yes. And so when that person did that, I then went up to them and I waited. And I was like, "You motherfucker." He goes, "I didn't... No, I didn't take it." Now this one also is getting more airtime because they're in with this specific head writer.

Joe Rogan 20:27 Oh.

Jim Breuer 20:28 And then the head writer comes to me, "Hey man, leave him alone." I go, "Hey man, stop him from stealing." "Well, you know, I don't care what he does, just leave him alone during my sketches." I'm like, "Why? You d-..." S- so you're, you're... It's like you're in high school.

Joe Rogan 20:46 Ugh.

Jim Breuer 20:47 And so, yeah, it's, it, it makes you...

Joe Rogan 20:49 (clears throat)

Jim Breuer 20:50 And then, he... I remember doing something where I played a drunk guy and I didn't know exactly how to do it, but I, I always wanted to be another Foster Brooks, right? I loved Foster Brooks. He made me laugh. So... You know who he is? Foster Brooks?

Joe Rogan 21:07 Do you remember Foster Brooks? No, I don't.

Jim Breuer 21:08 (gasps) Dude. The Foster Brooks Dean,-

Joe Rogan 21:11 Do you know who he is?

Jim Breuer 21:11 ... Dean Martin, The Airplane.

Joe Rogan 21:15 (clears throat)

Jim Breuer 21:15 This guy was the greatest drunk in history. In history. He was belly laughing funny to the point where I don't believe he was sober, even though clearly he was just doing a character. He was the greatest drunk character in history.

Joe Rogan 21:31 This is, that's Foster Brooks?

Jim Breuer 21:33 That's Foster Brooks.

Joe Rogan 21:34 I have no idea who this guy is.

Jim Breuer 21:35 Are you kidding me? You gotta s- (audience laughing)

Narrator 21:37 And I'm here at the MGM Grand Hotel tonight to, to, to... (audience laughing) I'm here to sol- salute (audience laughing) Les, Les Bronwyn's pass. My bosom... (audience laughing) My bo-

Jim Breuer 21:57 See, now he's about-

Joe Rogan 21:59 So he was playing a drunk?

Jim Breuer 21:59 Yeah, yeah, but he's, he's overdone the character by this sketch. You gotta go back when he's like doing the, uh, Airplane! and when he... There's an Airplane! sketch where he does, and this is when he first started coming out. It was, um, he p... So long story short, I wanted to do another Foster Brooks type thing. So I did the character. I'm not a great writer, I'm not a good writer at all. Um, but like, I'll, I'll come up with a character and try to e- and if we could put it in somewhere, great. And I remember the writer coming up saying, "Yeah, Lorne doesn't like, uh, drunks because, you know, the past and John and blah, blah, blah." And I went, "Oh, okay." And then two weeks later...

Joe Rogan 22:40 John Belushi, you mean?

Jim Breuer 22:41 Yeah, yeah. I guess that's what he meant. And, and then two weeks later, it's the drunk character is back str-... Like what? Dude, what the f-... It, it just, it's little things that mind screw you like that. So by the time... The big, the big finale was towards the end. You know, someone told me, "You know what Sandler did? Sandler went through this." Everyone went through this. Comedians go through this. "What you gotta do is get on the update and you gotta get in the, uh... Do everything you can to go on the update and everything you can in the opening monologue because the head writers can't mess with you." He goes, "That's n- that's not really their department."

Joe Rogan 23:22 That is so crazy that that's something you have to think about.

Jim Breuer 23:25 So then that's why I started doing it. If you notice in '98, I started getting more monologues. And then even there they were like, "We got this son of a bitch." And then it was, uh, a final monologue. It was Matthew Broderick. And it was when Matthew Broderick was on and he, he couldn't get through some of the sketches I was doing with him. He'd start laughing. And so when we went to... He really wanted to do this monologue with me and this one, these, these particular head writers were like, "No, we're not doing it." Although Matthew was like, "I want to do Jim's. I want to do Jim and Tracey's." And there was two, three sketches we had together and he laughed during the direc- like he couldn't keep a straight face. And then I remember the head- this particular writer I had a problem with.I never pr- I just didn't like, whatever. You had a hard-on for me, whatever. I, I, I can't, I don't, I don't understand ego. If you got a ego, it is what it is. And he said, um, "Yeah, it's too bad he laughed because now we don't know if it works, so that's gonna be cut and this cut." And, "Listen, we filmed the monologue. It worked, but we're gonna go with my monologue during the air show." (sighs) I was like, "You know what, man? I'm gonna talk to Lorne." He goes, "No, you're not." I said, "No, I'm t- I'm talking to Lorne now. I'm not afraid to talk to Lorne anymore." 'Cause that's another thing. It's like, "You're not allowed to talk to the President. Don't talk to-

Joe Rogan 24:48 Huh?

Jim Breuer 24:48 ... the President." They put this-

Joe Rogan 24:50 So then he would say, "No, you're not-"

Jim Breuer 24:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:51 ... "if you're gonna talk to Lorne?"

Jim Breuer 24:52 100%, "We'll talk to him." Went, "No-"

Joe Rogan 24:54 (sighs)

Jim Breuer 24:54 "... we'll both go talk to him." And then that's ... I knew right from that minute, I was done. I knew I was done. And then that summer, this guy named, uh, Gary Considine, he ran The Tonight Show, and he said, "Jim, what, what happened, dude?" I said, "What's the matter?" He goes, "So-and-so and So-and-so are, are really saying (smacks lips) you're out." And I went, "Really?" I go, "Well, I'll tell you what, I don't wanna be there anymore." My wife's like, "Just, please quit." She goes, "You said in your life, if any job, no matter how much money it paid, makes you a miserable human being and changes the person you are, you weren't gonna work there." She's like, "Look at you. You're angry all the time, you smoke pot all the time to numb yourself. You, you're not Jim anymore. Where's the goofy, uplifting Jim?" And I wanted to, I wanted to, I go like, "You're so stupid, but..."

Joe Rogan 25:56 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 25:57 "You're so stupid."

Joe Rogan 26:00 But she was so smart.

Jim Breuer 26:01 She was so smart and it was the greatest. And I give Lorne a lotta credit because Lorne said to me, um, "Jim, you're too nice for this business." He-

Joe Rogan 26:15 Wow.

Jim Breuer 26:15 And he said, which I'll never forget, it was a couple things Lorne said. And I never blamed Lorne. I always really admired Lorne. I said, uh ... Oh, he goes, "And if you ever want, wanna do something, I'm your producer. I'll produce it for you." Which I, I never took that opportunity up, but I'll never forget when he said that to me. So I was very thankful that he was understanding and let me go.

Joe Rogan 26:42 You know, Mitch Hedberg had a great line once about how when you're a comic, everybody wants you to be an actor. (smacks lips) You know? Remember that bit?

Jim Breuer 26:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 26:49 It's ki- it's so true because as a comic, you're such a great comic and you're so funny. You're, you're, your comedy's so wild and it's so uniquely you. Like, even though you were great on SNL, you're so much better as a comic.

Jim Breuer 27:02 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 27:02 It's, that's your world.

Jim Breuer 27:03 S- it's my world.

Joe Rogan 27:04 And no one can fuck with you.

Jim Breuer 27:06 (laughs) No.

Joe Rogan 27:06 And you could, you could do the whole thing yourself and then people come to see it for what it is.

Jim Breuer 27:10 Yes.

Joe Rogan 27:10 Yeah, and you don't have to deal with, uh-

Jim Breuer 27:12 And-

Joe Rogan 27:12 ... weasely writers, you know, backstabbing.

Jim Breuer 27:14 If I f- if I fail, I can live with that.

Joe Rogan 27:17 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 27:17 I can live with my failure.

Joe Rogan 27:18 Those ... The environments that they created in, in, in all the different seasons of SNL, uh, I, I, and I don't know, uh, from firsthand experience, but from everybody that I know that's worked there, it's been this super competitive, toxic, political, backstabby sort of a thing that you become like those show business cliches if you fall into it.

Jim Breuer 27:41 And to be honest with you, Joe, when I would see ... Each week, you'd see a new celebrity, like you do. You see people come in and out of here. So you start... I'm sure there's things that you see and you go, "How does the, how does the world have no clue that this person's like that?" Or, or maybe you don't, but I would see so many come in and I'd go, "How does no one know-"

Joe Rogan 28:10 Know that guy's a cunt. (laughs)

Jim Breuer 28:11 Yes.

Joe Rogan 28:12 Yes.

Jim Breuer 28:12 And how does no one know this one's a militant, uh, militant, uh, g- gay? Which, if that's what you are, fine, but-

Joe Rogan 28:22 But they hide it.

Jim Breuer 28:23 But they hide it.

Joe Rogan 28:24 It's weird, yeah.

Jim Breuer 28:25 And how does this one get away with being a drug addict and get a- And how does this one get away with having very suspect, uh, clearly, hookers come in-

Joe Rogan 28:41 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 28:42 ... of the male kind where I, I, I remember this one particular ... And I walked in, I went, and I told Dee, I went, "I don't know if this person was ... I, I, maybe they were 18? I don't know."

Joe Rogan 28:54 Oh, no.

Jim Breuer 28:55 And I remember them coming in, they're like, "Is So-and-so here?" And I looked down and went, "Yeah, their dressing room's over there." I was like, "Oh, wow."

Joe Rogan 29:07 And you could tell that they were prostitutes?

Jim Breuer 29:10 They weren't coming to talk politics. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:12 How do you know?

Jim Breuer 29:13 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 29:14 Maybe they're just a really good therapist-

Jim Breuer 29:15 You know what? Maybe they were-

Joe Rogan 29:16 ... but also very-

Jim Breuer 29:16 Also, maybe, maybe they were therapists.

Joe Rogan 29:18 Yes.

Jim Breuer 29:19 They could've been therapists.

Joe Rogan 29:20 Maybe they were foot massagers.

Jim Breuer 29:21 You know what? They could've been a foot massagist-

Joe Rogan 29:24 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 29:25 And they could've been, they could've been teaching them how to make certain crochets.

Joe Rogan 29:29 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 29:29 Or, or paper airplanes.

Joe Rogan 29:31 That's gotta be-

Jim Breuer 29:31 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 29:31 ... the saddest one when you wish that you could just be yourself, but you can't. You have to ... Like, I, I, I feel real, I feel terrible for gay guys in show business that are still trapped. And I-

Jim Breuer 29:42 Trapped.

Joe Rogan 29:42 I have a few friends-

Jim Breuer 29:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:44 ... that are great guys that, but they just feel like if they come out, that people won't look at them the same way. I'm like, "Man, they'll love you more."

Jim Breuer 29:51 I agree.

Joe Rogan 29:52 They'll ... Don Irari had the best line. And he goes, "I wish I was in the closet. That's how little I give a fuck."

Jim Breuer 29:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:57 He goes, "I would love to come out." He goes, uh, "If I was gay," he goes, "I'd be so happy to come out of the closet. I don't give a fuck."

Jim Breuer 30:04 Y- you know who, who I'd always tried was, was, uh, Meany. Kevin Meaney, I, I would ... He made me laugh so hard.I got stoned with Kevin. It was one of the hardest I ever laughed in my life. And anybody-

Joe Rogan 30:21 So, this was before he came out?

Jim Breuer 30:22 Before he came out.

Joe Rogan 30:23 Did you know he was gay?

Jim Breuer 30:25 Not ... He didn't admit ... I knew.

Joe Rogan 30:28 You knew something was going on?

Jim Breuer 30:29 Yeah, because when he'd come on my radio show, th- this is what they, what, what a lot of gay people, or if you're into drugs, like, I'll sit there, I'm like, "You know, it'd be great if I was high right now." And that's my, that's my cue. I'm putting it out there for someone to go-

Joe Rogan 30:43 Right.

Jim Breuer 30:43 ... "Oh, do you want to get high?" "Well, no, uh."

Joe Rogan 30:45 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 30:47 You're like, "You know, when it comes to penis." "Oh, are you ... " "No, I'm just ... Eh."

Joe Rogan 30:53 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 30:53 Just th- I just throw the joke out there. And so he would ... He, along with two other people I knew, would always put certain references out. I would, I would see this other person. This person would ... I remember spending time with them. We had a condo and they came out and they had their donkey hanging out. And I went, "Dude, what, what are you doing?" And he's like, "Is this intimidating?" I went, "No."

Joe Rogan 31:20 Intimidating? (laughs)

Jim Breuer 31:20 But I've never ... I went, "I've never hung out with another male friend that walks around holding his donkey, showing it to another male." It's just, it's weird, dude. We don't ... Do girls do that? I don't know. Like, uh, it was just, it's just-

Joe Rogan 31:33 I don't think they do.

Jim Breuer 31:34 N- No. So-

Joe Rogan 31:35 Th- Then, if your pussy's hanging out, that's ... There's a lot of other issues.

Jim Breuer 31:38 There's issues. Something going on there.

Joe Rogan 31:40 Something's happening.

Jim Breuer 31:41 You need a friend.

Joe Rogan 31:42 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 31:43 You need a friend. So, Kevin would ... He's talking about show tunes and he's talking about-

Joe Rogan 31:51 He's wearing a bow tie.

Jim Breuer 31:52 He's wearing a bow tie. Enough said.

Joe Rogan 31:56 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 31:57 And like, "I love you, man." Just, and I said, "Is there something you want to say? Because I think the world is okay with it." He's like, "What do you mean?"

Joe Rogan 32:05 Oh, yeah.

Jim Breuer 32:06 "Kev."

Joe Rogan 32:06 You can't get a guy to say that on the radio.

Jim Breuer 32:08 No, not on radio. But that's true. I try to get things through.

Joe Rogan 32:10 When I was, uh, I think I was 18 or 19, um, I went to see Kevin Meaney at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge, Massachusetts when he was on top of the world. I get ... I don't know if I was ... I don't know if it was a 21 club. I don't know if I was 21 yet. I don't think I was, because it was my friend from high school, Diane DeRosa. And, uh, we went there, and he was so funny. It was, uh, it was, uh ... I couldn't calculate it in my brain. I didn't understand how he was so funny, because, you know, it was like, "We're big pants people."

Jim Breuer 32:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:47 "We wear big pants." He had that whole big pants bit.

Jim Breuer 32:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:50 My God, dude. It was like, I couldn't breathe. Like, no one could breathe. The whole ... It was ... He destroyed in a way that it's, it was, it's hard to imagine someone killing that hard. And it was all like, he was so comfortable and loose and it was ... You know, he was on fire back then.

Jim Breuer 33:08 Yeah, he was.

Joe Rogan 33:09 This is before I did standup. I was just going to see standup then and watching it, you know? And I remember thinking like, "God, this ... I don't even know what that guy did. It was some kind of wizardry."

Jim Breuer 33:19 The first guy who made me laugh like that in person hard was Richard Jeni.

Joe Rogan 33:26 Oh, yeah.

Jim Breuer 33:26 And this guy would-

Joe Rogan 33:27 Yes.

Jim Breuer 33:28 ... would talk about a bottle of water and hit it from every-

Joe Rogan 33:31 Oh, my God.

Jim Breuer 33:31 And every time I'd think he's done, he'd come out with-

Joe Rogan 33:33 He keeps it going.

Jim Breuer 33:33 Well, he'd just keep going. I was just-

Joe Rogan 33:35 He's a ... He was so good in the '80s. People don't know. They don't know.

Jim Breuer 33:39 Guy was a monster.

Joe Rogan 33:40 A monster. A monster.

Jim Breuer 33:41 A monster. But-

Joe Rogan 33:42 I worked at East Side Comedy Club.

Jim Breuer 33:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:44 They told me that he did four different hours. Never repeated a joke. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. And every comic was sitting around afterwards like they should quit. They were like, "Fuck, I should just quit."

Jim Breuer 33:55 I never ever ... And, and you know what? Right before he took himself out, I learned s- I ... He taught me a lesson, because even when I had my radio show, I'm still chasing vanity a little bit, and, and ego, whatever. And he's on my radio show and he's going, uh, he's asking me about whatever and I went, I said, "You know, I'm looking up to you," and this and that. And I go, "But still, you know, this is cool, but I want X, Y, and Z." And he just looked at me with this dead stare and he goes, "A guy with his own radio show, and he still wants more." He wasn't kidding.

Joe Rogan 34:40 No, wasn't kidding.

Jim Breuer 34:41 And the way he said it-

Joe Rogan 34:43 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 34:43 ... I was like, "Oh, wow." It, it went right through me, and then, you know, it was a couple of months later, I might have, time, I helped him. I might have been his last little glimmer of hope.

Joe Rogan 34:54 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 34:54 I totally blew that one.

Joe Rogan 34:57 I ran into him, uh, a short while before he killed himself on a plane, on a flight, just randomly. He was sitting right in front of me. I'm pretty sure we were coming, we were coming from Austin too. I think he was doing a corporate gig and I think I was doing Cap City. And, um, pretty sure it was Austin. And, uh, I remember sitting there talking to him. Like, "Hey, Rich, what's up? How you doing?" He goes, "Oh, I was in town doing a corporate gig." And he l- he looked, he always looked like a little out of place, you know?

Jim Breuer 35:24 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:24 Always looking like he felt like he shouldn't be there, a little-

Jim Breuer 35:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:28 You know?

Jim Breuer 35:28 So, I, I got a question for you. So, when you do your shows-

Joe Rogan 35:33 Standup shows?

Jim Breuer 35:34 Yeah. I've seen you done ... You're doing Chappelle. Right? Do you touch any political stuff whatsoever?

Joe Rogan 35:43 No, I don't ... Not necessarily. I don't think politics are very funny.

Jim Breuer 35:48 Me either.

Joe Rogan 35:49 And I think the division that we have in this country is very disturbing, and I think there's a weird, almost like a mental contagion that's going on through this country of division, of left versus right, where people are choosing sides and people are, you know, either everyone's a communist or everyone's a racist. It's like there's these absolutes that people are trying to ascribe people in these ways and it's, it's, it's very disturbing to me, because I don't think I've ever been a part of ... For sure, I've never seen society this divided.

Jim Breuer 36:18 And where do you think that comes from, honestly?

Joe Rogan 36:20 Social media.It's a big part of it. It's a big part of it. It's a, a big part of, uh, looking for like-minded groups and finding them and also being afraid to deviate from any lines that have been established. Like, if you don't agree with this, you're a that. If you don't agree with that, you're a this. And there's these people getting in these echo chambers, and then there's these algorithms that unfortunately feed into natural human patterns of behavior, which is to gravitate towards things that infuriate you. So, whether it's Facebook or... Did you ever see The Social Dilemma?

Jim Breuer 36:55 No, I heard about it.

Joe Rogan 36:56 It's great. You should watch it.

Jim Breuer 36:57 I heard about it.

Joe Rogan 36:58 It's just so disturbing because they're essentially setting this up, and it reinforced w- how I felt and explained things even better to me. And in that documentary, what they're essentially saying is that if, if this keeps going, we're on the verge of civil war, that the, these social media algorithms, whether it's for Instagram or Twitter and, and the w- the way these things affect the human mind and how these people are profiting off of this stuff in a m- a massive, massive way, that they're leaning us closer and closer towards the ultimate division, like literally a civil war. And I, I feel that way. I really do feel that way.

Jim Breuer 37:34 And what about regular media, though? Don't you th- do you think they're also part of, if not sometimes more the culprit?

Joe Rogan 37:42 They're, they're... The, the problem with regular media is they're so often full of shit, yet they are trusted by way too many people.

Jim Breuer 37:51 There's 10,000.

Joe Rogan 37:52 And I think there's less trust now than ever before. You know, did you see the shit that, uh, the, the Washington Post had to just retract, that, uh, they had attributed a bunch of quotes to Trump, um, after the election, uh, with Georgia, that turned out to be false? Like, he never said them. And one of them was like, "Find the fraud," and he told the person they would be a national hero. Well, then they got the audio record- and by the way, just to be clear, he did say a lot of things that he should not have said. There was a lot of shit that he said that is egregious. But this is one particular one that they attributed to him that was not true. He never said it. They got the audi- audio recording of the actual phone call, and it basically, what he said is, "You're doing the most important job in the world," so counting these, counting these ballots. He did not say, "Find the fraud." He did, di- didn't say these things that they were attributing to him. And so for months, since December, they've been saying this, that he said these things. Now here we are in March and they finally have to retract it b- when the audio recordings come out. But it means that someone who is an anti-Trump person, who was like an unnamed source, gave them these quotes and then they printed them. This is our trusted media. That's a real problem. It's a real problem.

Jim Breuer 39:10 And people, this is the greatest time in human history where there's absolutely zero thinking. When I say zero thinking and/or you're put in fear of thinking. I'll give you a little example.

Joe Rogan 39:25 Okay.

Jim Breuer 39:25 I had... Uh, I came in, I had to have a COVID test before I walked in here, right? So I was talking to your nurse and, and, um, I said, "I had it." I had it in December and I didn't tell anyone 'cause I didn't... I put it on social media and I put it everywhere because I didn't want people like, "Oh, we're gonna cancel shows," and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just the hysteria that goes on.

Joe Rogan 39:46 How bad was it?

Jim Breuer 39:48 It was like a very mild sinus infection. Basically-

Joe Rogan 39:51 That's what Jamie had, basically.

Jim Breuer 39:52 It started, it started in my nose, all right? And then it had a little like (clears throat) . I had one of those. But I immediately... From the past, anytime I get sick, I'm traveling, so I know I've had, I've been sick on the road. I immediately put in nose spray, constant cleaning, and I have a, um, inhaler, you know, like a steroid (gasps) to, to get my lungs going. So I started that. The next day, body felt like I was getting something, and which I've had in the past. If I, I don't get the chills, my, my skin gets really sensitive. And then after that, a little tired, but I had... I can breathe, but clearly I had a sinus infection. That's the best way to describe it. Now, here's the thing... And I gave it to my wife and my youngest daughter and the other two... But my other two daughters were like, "We're outta here. We're getting tested." They both did negative. Shoom, they left the house.

Joe Rogan 40:54 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 40:54 "We're outta hair." And they got bubbles around their head and they're fucking wearing their space outfits. So they're gone. My youngest one comes home from school and she has to take a test and they say, "You're positive." And she was. She clearly got sick. My wife's sick, I'm sick now. None of us... I, I have an infectious disease doctor in New Jersey. His specialty is infectious disease. I said, "Doc, my daughter is positive. I clearly gave it to her." He goes, "You need to get tested before I see you." I said, "Okay, well it's a two, three day wait. In the meantime, don't you have every- anything?" He goes, "Take vitamin C, vitamin D, and zinc." He goes, "Do you have a high fever?" I went, "No." He goes, "Do you have tr- uh, trouble breathing?" I went, "No." He goes, "Then don't worry about it." So part of me started getting infuriated. I said, "So you're telling me the world is shutting down and you're telling me to take vitamin C, vitamin D, and zinc?" He goes, "I need you to get the test." "Okay, I'll get the test." Now, I'm a little aggravated. I just want something to get rid of this.

Joe Rogan 42:08 Right.

Jim Breuer 42:09 Okay. That's all I want.

Joe Rogan 42:09 Right.

Jim Breuer 42:10 So now it's going on the second week and it's... This thing's annoying because I'm taking 2,000 Ds and 3,000 Cs and zinc and A and whatever he's telling me to do.... my daughter is getting better. My wife still can't... D, can't smell or taste. Um, and she's got stage IV cancer. So she's, like, super high. She's doing great and all that, not that... But she's doing great. She's on trial, she's crushing it. So if anything, she's the most danger because of her immune system. Week two, I get a test, the same test I just took here, which is a very reliable test. And I told my doctor, "Hey man, it's official, I tested positive." "Which test did you take?" I was like, "I took the rapid," he goes, "That... I can't... I don't accept that one." You don't accept that? Infectious disease doctor and you don't accept that test?

Joe Rogan 43:15 What did he want, the PCR test?

Jim Breuer 43:17 He wanted, yeah, whatever, it's got to go to a lab. Now we're going on day 12 and you still take, telling me to take vitamins and stuff? So finally I said, "I'm not, I'm not doing that test," because then I gotta go in the state and the system and, and they called looking for my daughter. "Can we speak to your daughter?" No, you may not. "Well, is she doing the appropriate things?" I have it as her father. "Well, what is she doing?" Go fuck yourself.

Joe Rogan 43:48 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 43:49 That's what she's doing. You don't call my house. Government, you just overstepped your boundaries. You're just here to protect me, not to come knocking on my door to ask me what I'm doing and how I'm treating my 16-year-old. It's a very frightening place to be. Now with that said, I then asked, "Hey man, what can we do?" He goes, "I need that other test." And I went, "I'm not getting the other test." So I called a friend, said, "I'll get you something by tomorrow." I got stuff by the next day and in two days that stuff was clear. So I started asking her, "Why don't people..." And, and, and I just left the town of Chester, New Jersey and there was a, um, there's a couple, there's about 15 of us, a group, that formed this community during the whole COVID. And this one woman just got it and she got hospitalized. And I went, "Whoa. What happened?" And she said, "I waited 12 days and then I had a problem. I started freaking out breathing. Went to the hospital, they gave me steroids and antibiotics and it cleared right up." So my question is, why do you have to test positive to wait to get antibiotics or steroids if neither one of them hurt you or kill you, while you're still waiting to see what this does? And she didn't have an answer. And she's like, "That's a great question." Like, it's a simple... It's just a question. So if I'm a doctor and Joe Rogan comes to me and says, "Hey man, my daughter's positive. I have sinus. I am..." No. Well, I can give you this because I know it's not gonna kill you and I know it's gonna... I'm gonna give you antibiotics and hopefully in two, three days it'll clear up. But it's not gonna... And if it gets worse, then we'll take care of it then, because clearly this is not gonna make you worse.

Joe Rogan 45:52 Right.

Jim Breuer 45:53 So why isn't that being done? And then my other question was, if that doctor, an infectious disease doctor, doesn't allow that test, how many people take that test and it counts as a number, but yet it doesn't count? So what is really going on is my question.

Joe Rogan 46:15 There's a lot of confusion, a massive amount of people. There's a disease that kills some folks and there's a disease that we, in the beginning stages of this pandemic, thought was going to be far more severe than it turned out to be, and they never adjusted. That's the problem. The problem is it's still not good, you know, you don't want to catch COVID, but the vast majority of people who get it will be fine. 78% of the people that are hospitalized are obese.

Jim Breuer 46:43 Very. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:44 The ob- Obese people have a real hard time with it. There's 6% of the people who died from COVID only had COVID. The other 90-

Jim Breuer 46:52 Can you repeat that number?

Joe Rogan 46:54 6%.

Jim Breuer 46:54 One more time.

Joe Rogan 46:55 6% of the people who died from COVID only had COVID.

Jim Breuer 46:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:58 The other 94% had an average of 2.6 comorbidities. So almost three, more than two and a half comorbidities, meaning like obesity, you know, there's a bunch of different things that people have. Diabetes is a big one, um, you know, uh, Alzheimer's. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, like, comorbidities that are, that are very dangerous if you get COVID.

Jim Breuer 47:24 I'll tell you another one. So another one of our friends, his name is Rob. He's heavy... He's a mess, bro. Gout three times a year. He's a mess, he's totally heavy dude, blah, blah, blah.

Joe Rogan 47:34 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 47:35 July, he says, "Don't come near me, I have a sinus infection." And we all went... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Rob's off limits, you know. Whoop, whoop, Rob's dying. We're laughing. Rob died, he's got it, he's done. We said, "You should really go check that out, Rob." We don't hear from Rob. Next time, next thing me and... Me and my wife went to Maine, went on a... Went on a mountain, we were on a... We were on a lake. It was one of the... I felt like I was in... If I die, that is where heaven's gonna be, is that trip with my wife. I come back. "Gio, what's going on with Rob?" "Well, he's in the hospital." "What?" "He's on the... He's on the, uh, the..."

Joe Rogan 48:16 Ventilator.

Jim Breuer 48:17 The ventilator one. "What?" Now he was a crazy Trump guy. He was like, "Drop, drop..." Full blown. I would go there, I'm like, "Oh my god, these guys are talking politics again."

Joe Rogan 48:27 Oh, no.

Jim Breuer 48:29 "Please get off..." Every morning it was...... liberals and Democrats... (babbles) It was, like, non-stop. Like, "Oh, my God, I just want to have a muffin and relax."

Joe Rogan 48:40 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 48:41 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 48:42 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 48:43 So (laughs) with that... And I... Dude, I got caught up too, right? I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't caught up in some stuff for a while. I was on the internet like, "Dude, my dude JFK is coming back!" I was, "Oh, my God, of course, it makes all the sense in the world." It was... I was, I, I was in, right? But this guy was like, "If I ever get it, I'm taking hydroxychloroquine," all right?

Joe Rogan 49:07 Hm.

Jim Breuer 49:07 That was, that's... So now - and this is all still going by the way - he gets admitted to the hospital and here comes my next question, and there is an ending to this story. Um, he gets admitted, they say he's got brain damage from COVID. "It's brain damage." Well, this is the information we're getting, like, "What? I've never heard... What do you mean he's brain damage?" "Yeah, he's, he's not gonna, he's not gonna be able to walk."

Joe Rogan 49:34 What?

Jim Breuer 49:34 "He's, he has brain damage." Then it turned out he had strokes. The COVID caused strokes.

Joe Rogan 49:39 Mm.

Jim Breuer 49:40 Then it turned out, no, he asked for a specific drug, they said, "We can't give it to you in the state of Jersey, and we're gonna have to do testing before you could do stuff." Next thing you know, the guy's on high blood pressure pills and all that. Th- they didn't give him his meds, he stroked out.

Joe Rogan 50:01 Oh.

Jim Breuer 50:02 Cut to he's braindead, his wife can't... His wife and 11-year-old, 13-year-old have, have to say goodbye to him before they pull the plug. They're not allowed to be with him-

Joe Rogan 50:15 Ooh.

Jim Breuer 50:16 ... they have to FaceTime. So here's a question for you. Now this, this is going somewhere, bro, all right? Thank God one of our crew said, "Please send this person there just to... One last, one last look." The specialist shows up, said, "He's not braindead, he's dehydrated. Who's been taking care of this patient? And who said he was COVID? I want everything." Gets everything, said, "I need the wife and children in here." "Oh, well, it's against our..." "Again, what's keeping you safe? What's keeping you safe? Bring his family in here." His family talks to him, his heart rate starts going up. In a week, he opens his eyes and communicates for the first time. And six weeks later, he now stands up for the first time. It was, uh, a li-, it was October, he finally got out, and he's still taking physical rehab. I got pictures of him, videos of him, and all that jazz, but he's recovering. So the point of my story is two things.

Joe Rogan 51:30 They were ready to let him die?

Jim Breuer 51:31 They were willing. They already said he's dead and you can't visit him.

Joe Rogan 51:36 Jesus Christ.

Jim Breuer 51:36 So what, where-

Joe Rogan 51:37 What kind of fucking hospital is this?

Jim Breuer 51:39 It's in New Jersey.

Joe Rogan 51:41 That's crazy.

Jim Breuer 51:41 So I'll t- so, but my question is this, when it comes to not being able to see elderly in elderly homes, you've got to quarantine and all that, what keeps the workers safe? What keeps the, quote, "heroes" safe? And what... Why can't you allow someone with a human touch? Because when you're, when you're at your weakest moment in time, you need a human. You need pure love. You need that child. You need your mother to come visit you. They're the ones, even if you're in your house... And the fact that they are stopping that is pure evil in my mind. I don't... It has nothing to do with safety. And if it is safety, then it's stupidity. And if I-

Joe Rogan 52:27 It's, it's just, it's a protocol. They're trying to-

Jim Breuer 52:27 And, and at the end of the day, it's evil.

Joe Rogan 52:29 They-

Jim Breuer 52:29 There is no protocol of stupidity, in my opinion.

Joe Rogan 52:31 I understand what you're saying, though. I think they're tr- I think in the general sense, they're trying to protect people from getting infected.

Jim Breuer 52:36 What, what keeps the people-

Joe Rogan 52:37 That's why they don't want to do it.

Jim Breuer 52:37 ... that works there infected?

Joe Rogan 52:38 It's... Nothing.

Jim Breuer 52:39 Well, then what ke- it's... Well, there you go, you just answered it.

Joe Rogan 52:41 I mean, they wear the, the tightest masks that you can, but there's other things you can do.

Jim Breuer 52:44 Then give it to the child and the mom-

Joe Rogan 52:45 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 52:45 ... and dad.

Joe Rogan 52:45 Exactly. No, I'm with you. I'm with you 100%.

Jim Breuer 52:48 If your kid was dying, Joe-

Joe Rogan 52:50 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 52:51 ... is you gonna allow them to keep you from seeing him?

Joe Rogan 52:53 No, no. I'm gonna do my best, right? Everybody does.

Jim Breuer 52:55 You're gonna smash that door down, bro. I'll tell you that right now. You're gonna have to arrest me.

Joe Rogan 53:00 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 53:00 You're gonna have to arrest me. So-

Joe Rogan 53:03 I, I feel the same way. I know what you're saying.

Jim Breuer 53:06 You gotta question everything.

Joe Rogan 53:07 There's... But you were right about the touch, about love, and about having hope, and having someone come visit you. Despair is terrible for the immune system. All that stuff is ter- Do you know what a nocebo is? You know what that means?

Jim Breuer 53:19 No.

Joe Rogan 53:20 It's the opposite of placebo. A placebo effect is they give you a sugar pill and it makes you think that you're doing well. And you're like, "Oh." And then all of a sudden, your symptoms improve and you actually get better-

Jim Breuer 53:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:29 ... 'cause your body is on a positive trip, right?

Jim Breuer 53:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:34 Your body's like, "Oh, Jim got the medicine. (sighs) We're healing up." And y- it literally has a, a, an actual physical measurable effect, and it's called the placebo effect. Well, there's also something that they believe is more powerful than the placebo effect, and that's the nocebo effect. The nocebo effect is telling someone that they have a disease, telling someone that there's an incurable disease or that they're sick, and then they fucking panic. Now, here's a perfect example.

Jim Breuer 54:02 Hm.

Joe Rogan 54:03 In 2007, there was a guy that was a part of a trial that they were doing a, a double-blind, placebo-controlled s- trial on antidepressants. So they're trying to find the efficacy of antidepressants and they give this guy, um, the- these pills. And he shows up at the hospital, he's got an empty bottle of pills, and he goes, "Help me, help me. I took all the pills, I took all the pills." And this guy collapses. All right? They bring him into the emergency room. His fucking h- blood pressure is dangerously low, his heart rate is jacked up, he's pale, he's sick. They're like, "Oh, no." And so they, they find the guy's... Uh, he, the guy has a pill bottle they brought in with him. They find the guy's physician that's a part of the clinical trial and they bring the physician in. The physician tells him, "You got the placebo."... there's no medication here. This is, these are bullshit pills. There's nothing in them. All the sudden, the guy gets better (snaps fingers) like that. His, his heart rate balances. His blood pressure balances. 15 minutes later, he's fine.

Jim Breuer 55:07 The power of your mind.

Joe Rogan 55:09 Y- he was convinced that he was fucked. If you have someone in a hospital bed and you're telling them they're gonna die-

Jim Breuer 55:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:16 ... and you're not gonna see your family-

Jim Breuer 55:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:17 ... and the amount of stress and the pain, your symptoms will crash. Everything will get more fucked up. Your body will go into a total state of shock. There's been people that have died because they were incorrectly diagnosed with cancer, and they went into this, this shock where they can't believe that they, they're not gonna ... And then their, their immune system crashes, their body crashes, and then they've done autopsies and they found out that it was benign.

Jim Breuer 55:46 And this is what drives me nuts, where nobody ques- you just go, "Uh, nope. That's what they said."

Joe Rogan 55:52 Dude, that's where, that's-

Jim Breuer 55:53 "That's what they said, so that's what we're doing."

Joe Rogan 55:55 That's what voodoo is, you know?

Jim Breuer 55:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:56 Like, people think that voodoo is bullshit, but voodoo is, is you tell someone... If you're a charismatic person, you have white paint on your face and fucking feathers and skulls in, on sticks, and you tell them-

Jim Breuer 56:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:08 ... "I put a curse on you."

Jim Breuer 56:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:12 And, and if you believe that shit, you will be in a full terror.

Jim Breuer 56:15 Yes.

Joe Rogan 56:16 You'll be in a full terror, and then your life will fall apart.

Jim Breuer 56:19 My hand to God, when I start my show, I say, and I've been saying, "This is the greatest voodoo trick I've seen in humanity in my entire life," 'cause that's what it is. It's the greatest voodoo trick in history. I- it's mind boggling. Now, I'm able to, I'm able to sit and watch it and, and dodge from it, but at the same time, I- I'm, I'm baffled. How

Jim Breuer 56:49 many people just don't question anything? It's mind boggling. Now, back to what you were saying before, this is a cool thing. (smacks lips) So, I, I did a Metallica tour, right? Now, on this tour, I start to get to know, like, people from around the world that go to every single Metallica show. It was d- and they, and they-

Joe Rogan 57:13 (laughs) That's so wild.

Jim Breuer 57:14 It's so wild, and it's so cool. They call themselves the Metallica family, which I thought was amazing. Which I think is also amazing about you, like, you ha- peop- you have followers around the world. I think that's amazing. It's mind boggling. You could probably tour Korea, in, in, in countries you never thought you can tour in because of who you are and who listens to you. So, with this Metallica thing, there's this one couple, Sarah and Pete, and Pete ... The, the story was, was so ... it's amazing. Pete's a, a vet. Um. Y- got his ass kicked in Iraq and blah, blah, blah. He came back, got in a motorcycle accident, destroyed, doesn't wanna live anymore. He's stuck to a, a hospital bed, blah, blah. She's, she's, she's depressed 'cause he won't, he won't, he doesn't wanna live anymore. He hears Metallica's touring, and he's, he said ... And he's got brain damaged that you c- irreversible brain damage. It's completely irreversible. And so, he has to get checked every six weeks, and they keep saying, "Yeah, nah. His ... N- man, nothing's going down." Okay, so forever, this part of the brain's gonna be dead. He knows Metallica's coming, and she said she came home and for the first time, he, he was trying to get up. And she said, "What do you want?" He's like, "I wanna see Metallica." And she said, "Oh, oh, okay. We'll, we'll, I'll, I'll bring you to Metallica." She goes to Metallica, brings him in the wheelchair. He's got all, all his stuff. And then she sees while she's waiting on tickets all these other Metallica fans, and, you know, they start like, "Oh, bad dude. Oh," you know? And they're taking care, and they, they become like a little, "Hey," and the next, then they s- ... You know what? And they s- she saw how happy he was and how much life was brought to him just from seeing Metallica. Right? Now, with that, now she goes, "Maybe, maybe I should follow them." So, she goes and buys a couple more tickets, and he's starting to ... He's got life. Now, they follow them every time they tour. And I saw them, and then they d- they come see me. And when I first met him, he was very, he- he's very subdued, very ... He doesn't smile a whole lot. He's like, you know, "Hi. Hi." Where she's got this big smile. She's always bringing sunche- great energy. By the end of the tour, uh, as soon as the tour ended ... I wish I had my em- I'm sure I could find the email. She goes, "Oh, my God, Jim. You're not gonna believe what's going on. I think we're going to the European tour. We're sorry the US tour We're not gonna see you, but the European tour." I said, "Why?" The doctors for the first time ever said his brain is starting to heal itself, and they truly believe it's from going to the Metallica concerts.

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 What?

Jim Breuer 1:00:19 Maybe it's not the music. It's the community, the life, the people around him that's inspiring him, and they wanna hook him up and start doing this as a test, like perhaps this has the power of healing. Dude, how sick is that?

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 That's pretty sick. You know, you know how when a song comes on and you get goosebumps?

Jim Breuer 1:00:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 That's a drug.

Jim Breuer 1:00:45 Of course it is.

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 It really is. There's, it's a medicine. It's, there's something to it.... like it when a good song comes on, you're like, "Fuck, yeah."

Jim Breuer 1:00:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:52 Woo.

Jim Breuer 1:00:52 There's- there's songs in-

Joe Rogan 1:00:53 (singing) I'm getting- I'm getting goosebumps right now.

Jim Breuer 1:00:56 (singing)

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Dude, look at that. Look at that, goosebumps.

Jim Breuer 1:01:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 Those are legit.

Jim Breuer 1:01:07 (sighs) Woo. Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 Yeah, I mean, m- music does something to you physically.

Jim Breuer 1:01:11 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:01:12 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 1:01:13 And if this guy is, all of a sudden, around all these people, the music is doing something to him physically, and then he has this sense of community and all this fun and love and comradery, yeah, your- your fucking pistons start firing. Bang, bang, bang. Woo. (singing)

Jim Breuer 1:01:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:31 (singing)

Jim Breuer 1:01:31 How'd you- how'd you like talking to James?

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 I loved it.

Jim Breuer 1:01:34 He's a cool guy.

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 I loved it. He's a really cool guy. I mean, if you think about a guy that has been through so much craziness, like I- I think of fame as, like, redlining, like, redlining your personality, redlining your stress levels, redlining your life. And so for a guy that's been like, "Dude." And then, like, "Okay, I gotta get off this ride for a little bit." And then you talk to him, and he's- he's just aware that he redlined his life.

Jim Breuer 1:02:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:01 You know, and he apparently redlined his life again, right? Started indulging again after that and had to stop again. But to be a man that is that famous, that is that universally loved, to have that much pressure and attention and to live that crazy life-

Jim Breuer 1:02:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:19 ... that arena rock life-

Jim Breuer 1:02:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:22 ... of- of a- of- of a, like, you know, 1% rockstar, like you get all the rockstars in the world, Metallica is, like, the 1% of the rockstars.

Jim Breuer 1:02:32 Hands down.

Joe Rogan 1:02:32 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:02:33 If they said they're touring Mars-

Joe Rogan 1:02:35 They're going to Mars.

Jim Breuer 1:02:35 Someone's going to-

Joe Rogan 1:02:37 People are going to Mars.

Jim Breuer 1:02:38 Someone's going to Mars.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 They could do a tour in the middle of the Sahara Desert-

Jim Breuer 1:02:40 S-

Joe Rogan 1:02:40 ... and people would make it out there with water.

Jim Breuer 1:02:41 Without a doubt.

Joe Rogan 1:02:42 100%.

Jim Breuer 1:02:43 So if I can ask you, out of everyone that you've- you've talked with, who- who- who would be, like, your top, like, wow?

Joe Rogan 1:02:56 I don't- I don't have one. I d- really don't. I don't. I tried-

Jim Breuer 1:03:00 You know, and I guess that's not a ... I- I guess you d- wouldn't even wanna answer that only because other people instantly go, "Why would you pick-"

Joe Rogan 1:03:06 No, I mean, I- I would- I would answer it. I would answer it. If people got upset, I would. But I don't have a- like, a top.

Jim Breuer 1:03:12 Well, what'd you learn from them all? Did you learn any one of them? Oh, you just- you had some.

Joe Rogan 1:03:14 Oh, yeah, you learn from all of 'em, man. I mean, I- I learned from you, I learned from, uh, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and I learned from Elon Musk, I learned from Lex Fridman. I learned from all these fucking scientists and people that I've had on, all these brilliant people. I learned from Matt Taibbi. I learned from ... I mean, there's so many people that I've learned from. Uh, it's ... I've had a wild fucking education, man. I have an 11-year education doing this podcast.

Jim Breuer 1:03:38 11 years now?

Joe Rogan 1:03:39 Yeah, it's 11 years.

Jim Breuer 1:03:40 Holy crap.

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 Yeah, yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:03:42 That's a monstrosity.

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 Actually, yeah, it's almost 12. It'll be 12 years in December.

Jim Breuer 1:03:48 I- I remember I only been to one UFC fight, and I- I don't think I need to see another.

Joe Rogan 1:03:56 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:03:56 And what I mean by that is, you- you were like, "Jim, you gotta see it." And I was leaving that night, I was- I was in Vegas and I was leaving that night on a red-eye and I almost didn't get out. And you're like, "Jim, you gotta come tonight."

Joe Rogan 1:04:09 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:04:09 He's like, "This is the one, dude. Bro, you don't wanna miss this one." I'm like, "All right, all right, I- I'll be there." And it was McGregor versus Spanish name dude. Uh ... He wasn't supposed to be the bill, and then Nate-

Joe Rogan 1:04:26 Diaz?

Jim Breuer 1:04:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 Nate Diaz.

Jim Breuer 1:04:28 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:04:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:04:30 And I'll n- I still remember that. It's so vivid in my mind. There was an underscore, okay? There was an undercard. All right, he looked like a- a- a- a guy like me, right? Against this-

Joe Rogan 1:04:44 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:04:44 ... toolbox. And every time the kick would hit him, like I've seen on TV, but when you're there where you're standing, you hear ... Like, I kept smelling like ... It sounded like a bat hitting a leg. And then after three kicks, I'm looking at his leg, and it looked like someone spray painted a purple (choking noise) on the inside his leg. I went, "Oh my God, that's gotta be killing him."

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:05:14 "How is this human being standing? Oh my God." So smack, smack, smack. And I- I don't even remember who won that. All I remember is the McGregor fight. And McGregor's in there and he's definitely showboat and I loved everything about it, right? And I'm sitting there in the front and he comes in and they- they start the first round, and I feel like Diaz had the best of him the first round. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember the second round starting and McGregor said something to him like, uh, "Is that the best you got?"

Joe Rogan 1:05:53 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:05:53 Something like that. I went, "Did he just say that to this guy?" And he's trying to intimidate, but then I remember he's getting his ass kicked, ass kicked and he was on the ground, it was ugly. The guy's on the ground and he's going for the final choke him out.

Joe Rogan 1:06:11 Right.

Jim Breuer 1:06:11 And his wife was right behind me. And I ke- it was like a movie, I kept looking at her going, "Greg, get up, Greg."

Joe Rogan 1:06:19 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:06:19 I'm looking at my ... Oh my God, this must be a horror show. "Oh my God, Becky, come on, Greg." She covered her eyes and went, "Oh my God, this is a horror show," to watch her husband getting choked out and beat in his bla ... And then all of a sudden, he- he gets out of it and he makes it to his feet, and I think H- I think three-quarters of the arena was from Ireland, they're like, (cheering noise) hey, you can help, "Wah!" They were going ape shit.... and I remember like I'm, the hair- I- the hair on my back is standing up watching this. And I remember Diaz's eyes, I'll never forget his eyes. He just... If his eyes could talk they went, he- they said, "Oh, no. I'm done." The-

Joe Rogan 1:07:05 Diaz? I think you got the wrong fight. You got this fight so fucked up. When m- when Nate Diaz got on top of Conor McGregor-

Jim Breuer 1:07:12 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:07:12 ... he fucking strangled him and Conor tapped out.

Jim Breuer 1:07:14 No. Then it wasn't that fight.

Joe Rogan 1:07:16 Okay, it's a different fight.

Jim Breuer 1:07:17 It was, it, it was, it was a good five, six years ago. Four years ago?

Joe Rogan 1:07:20 Yeah, it was Nate Diaz.

Narrator 1:07:22 Hold on. You said the Chad Mendes fight.

Jim Breuer 1:07:23 Mendez!

Joe Rogan 1:07:24 Oh, Chad Mendes. Okay.

Jim Breuer 1:07:25 Mendez!

Joe Rogan 1:07:25 That's different. Okay, that makes sense.

Jim Breuer 1:07:27 It was Mendes!

Joe Rogan 1:07:28 Yes.

Jim Breuer 1:07:29 And so, Mendes' eyes, I saw his eyes. He-

Joe Rogan 1:07:34 Okay. That's a different fight.

Jim Breuer 1:07:35 He went full-blown, "Oh, God, I'm done. I'm done." Because McGregor from the ground and standing up, it was, "Oh, no." And with, l- it's five seconds later he knocked him out.

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:07:49 It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen live. I-

Joe Rogan 1:07:52 That was a fight that Chad Mendes, in his defense, took late notice, and he wasn't even training. But he kind of gassed out.

Jim Breuer 1:07:56 That's what I'm saying, he wasn't ready for it.

Joe Rogan 1:07:58 He gassed out a little bit.

Jim Breuer 1:07:59 He wasn't ready for it.

Joe Rogan 1:07:59 Yeah, and he got knocked out.

Jim Breuer 1:08:01 But I got, that was my only UFC fight-

Joe Rogan 1:08:04 Ah.

Jim Breuer 1:08:04 ... I ever got, and I wanted to go.

Joe Rogan 1:08:04 That was a wild one to go to, man.

Jim Breuer 1:08:06 That was.

Joe Rogan 1:08:06 That was a wild one.

Jim Breuer 1:08:07 So now I'm trying to get out, and these hooligans, they're on top of the, th- they're in the casino-

Joe Rogan 1:08:13 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:08:13 ... they're dancing on top of the casino.

Joe Rogan 1:08:16 There it is.

Narrator 1:08:16 It's this video.

Jim Breuer 1:08:18 Yeah, and he's-

Joe Rogan 1:08:18 That's your video?

Narrator 1:08:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:19 This is Jim's video?

Narrator 1:08:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 Oh, that's hilarious. Look at you.

Jim Breuer 1:08:22 Dude, I can't even find this video anymore. I think I accidentally-

Narrator 1:08:25 It's on Facebook.

Joe Rogan 1:08:26 Ah, Jamie finds everything.

Jim Breuer 1:08:28 Bro, you gotta send this to me.

Joe Rogan 1:08:30 Look at that.

Jim Breuer 1:08:31 This... Now, now I gotta catch a flight, and I can't, these, these Irish-

Joe Rogan 1:08:40 How are you gonna get out of there?

Jim Breuer 1:08:41 They were everywhere! I couldn't get past 'em!

Joe Rogan 1:08:43 Look at you.

Jim Breuer 1:08:44 I was in full-blown panic. Bro, that was one of the greatest-

Joe Rogan 1:08:48 What were you in town doing? Do you remember? What did you do?

Jim Breuer 1:08:50 I was doing a show.

Joe Rogan 1:08:51 Which gig were you doing, The Mirage?

Jim Breuer 1:08:52 No. I c- I s- um, South Point Casino. I play the locals. I can't get into Mirage, man.

Joe Rogan 1:08:59 You can't get into Mirage?

Jim Breuer 1:09:00 I'm not a Mirage guy. I don't have that kinda swagger.

Joe Rogan 1:09:03 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:09:03 I'll be the first to admit it. You know, I'd love to say, "Well, I tell you, Caesar's wanting me, but, uh, can't have it." The Mirage I said, "Let me check my bu-" I go to South Point Casino.

Joe Rogan 1:09:14 How is that place? Is it good?

Jim Breuer 1:09:15 I love it.

Joe Rogan 1:09:16 Yeah?

Jim Breuer 1:09:16 The guy that runs the place is really cool. Mike, uh, I, I love playing there.

Joe Rogan 1:09:22 Vegas is a fun place to play. It's weird now. Have you been there re- recently?

Jim Breuer 1:09:26 No, but I don't gamble either.

Joe Rogan 1:09:27 It's starting to come back. I don't gamble either.

Jim Breuer 1:09:28 I don't gamble either.

Joe Rogan 1:09:29 It's starting to come back though. It's like, uh, there's people out again. Like, uh, well, I was just there for the fights last weekend. Last weekend, weekend before, whatever it was. And, uh, it was hopping again. Like, there was, there was a l- a large amount of people driving around and it seemed very different, 'cause it's been really d- desolate over the last year.

Jim Breuer 1:09:47 So the fights, no one's in the arena?

Joe Rogan 1:09:49 No one.

Jim Breuer 1:09:50 What? How-

Joe Rogan 1:09:50 They're doing it at the Apex Center. The UFC has their own performance, uh, institute. And across the street from the Performance Institute, they have this thing called the Apex Center. So it's a training facility on one side of it, but then inside is a small arena. It's like a smaller cage, smaller octagon. And it's, it could seat, if they were allowed to have a crowd, it could seat 1,000, 1500 people maybe at the most. Maybe not even 1500. But they do the shows there with no crowd. It's wild.

Jim Breuer 1:10:18 The show, they-

Joe Rogan 1:10:19 You should see that.

Jim Breuer 1:10:21 I'd love to.

Joe Rogan 1:10:21 You, yeah, I'd love to take you to one of those, 'cause they're not gonna be around that much longer because-

Jim Breuer 1:10:25 I'll fly in for that.

Joe Rogan 1:10:25 ... they're starting to do, there's one next weekend, they're starting to do, uh, fights with crowds again. So-

Jim Breuer 1:10:32 I'll make Colorado.

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 ... in April 20-something or another, when is it? What's the one that's-

Jim Breuer 1:10:38 That's a weekend, right?

Joe Rogan 1:10:40 Yeah, April something or-

Narrator 1:10:42 Might be October.

Joe Rogan 1:10:42 ... April 27th they're doing the, uh, the- the welterweight title. They're gonna do that one in, uh, Tampa? Is that what it is?

Narrator 1:10:50 Jacksonville.

Jim Breuer 1:10:51 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:10:51 In Jacksonville.

Jim Breuer 1:10:51 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:10:52 In Jacksonville with a crowd, 15,000 people. Which is like, holy shit, you're going full 24th, full bore.

Jim Breuer 1:10:58 God, I love Florida. I was in Florida.

Joe Rogan 1:11:00 Florida doesn't give a fuck.

Jim Breuer 1:11:01 I don't wanna leave.

Joe Rogan 1:11:03 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:11:03 That was, I felt like you talk about refugees.

Joe Rogan 1:11:07 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:11:07 They're coming, they're coming from every angle, parachuting in. (mimics fight sounds)

Joe Rogan 1:11:11 Oh, yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:11:12 We made it.

Joe Rogan 1:11:13 Well, maybe it'll be good, 'cause they'll inject some New York into Florida. You know, more New York. Like young New York and like give it some life.

Jim Breuer 1:11:20 You ne-

Joe Rogan 1:11:21 'Cause there was, there's a little s-

Jim Breuer 1:11:22 It's a little death.

Joe Rogan 1:11:23 There's a little stupid. Fl- the floor has got a little too much stupid.

Jim Breuer 1:11:27 It's a lot-

Joe Rogan 1:11:27 Unfortunately.

Jim Breuer 1:11:28 It's a lot of sun.

Joe Rogan 1:11:29 Yeah. No disrespect.

Jim Breuer 1:11:30 A lot of elderly.

Joe Rogan 1:11:31 There's a lot of, like, children of criminals.

Jim Breuer 1:11:34 (laughs) I lived there.

Joe Rogan 1:11:35 Yeah, I know you did.

Jim Breuer 1:11:36 Trust me, I, it was, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:11:37 You started there, right? You started standup there.

Jim Breuer 1:11:40 Technically yes. When I said, when I put my head down and put the ball in my hand, yeah, I started 1989 at Ron Bennington's comedy scene. Coconuts, uh, Comedy Club, in, in St. Pete.

Joe Rogan 1:11:52 Ron Bennington, the same Ron Bennington that's on the radio?

Jim Breuer 1:11:54 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:11:55 No shit.

Jim Breuer 1:11:55 Yes, he-

Joe Rogan 1:11:56 I didn't know he had a club.

Jim Breuer 1:11:57 He was huge radio, monster radio guy.

Joe Rogan 1:12:01 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:12:01 '98.

Joe Rogan 1:12:02 Ron in Fez.

Jim Breuer 1:12:02 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:12:03 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:12:04 So he had a, a Ramada Inn comedy club. It was, it was awesome. I would see, you know, Brian Regan would come through there. Uh, uh, Dan Whitney, before he was Larry the Cable Guy, would come through there.

Joe Rogan 1:12:16 Ah, wow.

Jim Breuer 1:12:17 So Tom Rhodes would come through there. Um, so that is where Daryl meet, d- Daryl Hammond, Bill Gardell.

Joe Rogan 1:12:26 Mm.

Jim Breuer 1:12:27 All those guys, that's kind of that, that area.

Joe Rogan 1:12:31 That's the hub.

Jim Breuer 1:12:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then I don't know what happened to it. But Long Island I started in and out, high school, but I, I wasn't consistent.

Joe Rogan 1:12:42 Mm.

Jim Breuer 1:12:42 (laughs) I remember the first time I did, I played Governor, this was my first gig, and I thought I was so good. I was cocky.

Joe Rogan 1:12:49 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:12:49 I was so cocky.

Joe Rogan 1:12:51 Already thinking about the lion.

Jim Breuer 1:12:54 ... with the lion.

Joe Rogan 1:12:54 Tiger? Tiger? Already thinking about the silk pants-

Jim Breuer 1:12:57 Oh, God, yes.

Joe Rogan 1:12:58 ... or are you thinking, are you thinking-

Jim Breuer 1:12:59 Oh, without a doubt.

Joe Rogan 1:12:59 ... of them all?

Jim Breuer 1:12:59 White tiger. White tiger.

Joe Rogan 1:13:01 (laughs) Like Mike Tyson. (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:13:03 (growls) I got mad at Mike when I saw it. I went, "Hey, man, that's my gig."

Joe Rogan 1:13:07 (laughs)

Jim Breuer 1:13:07 Let it... But I want Eddie Murphy red leather pants and that white tiger, and that's, that's success right there. And, uh, I remember doing a pigeon bit, which I thought I was brilliant for coming up with. I had this bug routine, which I thought I was brilliant. And then I saw, like, all these other people. "All these people steal from me." It's... It was, and I was just like, "Oh."

Joe Rogan 1:13:30 You... Well, you... Well, you have generic premises, that's the thing. Like-

Jim Breuer 1:13:32 Uh, uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:33 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:13:33 It's-

Joe Rogan 1:13:33 Premises that you think-

Jim Breuer 1:13:34 Yeah, you think. You're like, "Hey!"

Joe Rogan 1:13:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many-

Jim Breuer 1:13:37 "I came up with that." Like, "No, you didn't steal it."

Joe Rogan 1:13:39 It's so... There was one joke that everybody had in Boston, is, uh, um, in New Hampshire they, uh, had a license plate, the, you know, the logo on the license plate, the, their, their saying was, "Live free or die." And I'm like, "Those things are made by prisoners." It's the most-

Jim Breuer 1:13:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:13:55 ... fucked up thing, 'cause license plates were always made by prisoners. That was, like, the inside-

Jim Breuer 1:14:00 Wow!

Joe Rogan 1:14:01 ... and out. Every comic had that. I thought I was so brilliant for thinking that up. And then some guys had to tell me, "Oh, fucking... A couple other guys got that joke, too."

Jim Breuer 1:14:08 Yeah, well, they got it from me.

Joe Rogan 1:14:09 (laughs) It's just-

Jim Breuer 1:14:10 Clearly. They heard me talking about it at a fucking... Bought a Nick's Pizza place.

Joe Rogan 1:14:14 But being a guy that's making... It just seems so ironic to me, to be making-

Jim Breuer 1:14:18 Wow!

Joe Rogan 1:14:19 ... these license plates that say, "Live free or die,"-

Jim Breuer 1:14:20 Live free.

Joe Rogan 1:14:20 ... while you're trapped in a cage.

Jim Breuer 1:14:22 Or die.

Joe Rogan 1:14:23 Hmm. Or die.

Jim Breuer 1:14:24 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 1:14:25 Yeah. Those days, man, those early days. When I see kids today, like if I'll go to Kill Tony and I'll watch, like, the open mic guys go up and try it for, like, the third or fourth... You know what Kill Tony is?

Jim Breuer 1:14:35 No.

Joe Rogan 1:14:36 Tony Hinchcliffe and Brian Redban have this, uh, really funny show where, uh, they take, like, a professional comic. I've been a guest on it a couple of times out here. And, uh, they'll have, like, a professional comic will sit there, and then, uh, they have a band behind them that's actually Gary Clark Jr's band that he works with that's at, at Antone's Nightclub here in Austin. And then comics will go up that are local or they come to, to try to put their name in a hat. They'll pull the name out of the hat, and then they bring them up on stage and they do one minute of comedy.

Jim Breuer 1:15:05 Wow!

Joe Rogan 1:15:06 And sometimes it's great and sometimes it's terrible. When it's terrible, everybody makes fun of them.

Jim Breuer 1:15:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:15:11 And when it's great, everybody makes fun of them and appraises them and, and says, "Good luck." And it's a great jumping off point for young up-and-coming comics.

Jim Breuer 1:15:19 That's a cool idea.

Joe Rogan 1:15:19 It's a great idea. It's a great show. But it's also to be there and see these people at the beginning where they're trying to, like, figure it out and-

Jim Breuer 1:15:28 And they're like-

Joe Rogan 1:15:29 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:15:29 ... they're over trying.

Joe Rogan 1:15:30 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:15:31 And they-

Joe Rogan 1:15:31 They don't know what they're doing.

Jim Breuer 1:15:32 I know.

Joe Rogan 1:15:33 The o-

Jim Breuer 1:15:33 It's cute. It's-

Joe Rogan 1:15:34 The-

Jim Breuer 1:15:34 Where, where's the cool areas? Like, I, I don't even know where the hell I'm playing tonight. I'm playing, like, uh, is it outdoors?

Joe Rogan 1:15:41 I don't know. What place is th- your place?

Jim Breuer 1:15:43 The-

Joe Rogan 1:15:43 What's it called?

Jim Breuer 1:15:46 The-

Joe Rogan 1:15:46 You don't know where you're (laughs) going?

Jim Breuer 1:15:49 No.

Joe Rogan 1:15:49 Why don't you look at your phone?

Jim Breuer 1:15:50 It says-

Joe Rogan 1:15:50 Why don't you find out where you're at?

Jim Breuer 1:15:53 It's something-

Joe Rogan 1:15:53 Jimi, uh- It's a weird- Jimi'll find out. Jimi'll find out.

Jim Breuer 1:15:55 It's a weird name. It's like-

Joe Rogan 1:15:58 It's not Stubbs Amphitheater, right?

Jim Breuer 1:15:59 It's an amphitheater.

Narrator 1:16:00 Oh, he's at Nutty Brown.

Joe Rogan 1:16:01 Oh, Nutty Brown's awesome.

Jim Breuer 1:16:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:03 That's the... Is that the place where, uh, Burr was?

Narrator 1:16:05 I think so, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:06 Yeah, dude, you're gonna love it. It's great. Nutty Brown's great. It's a beautiful amphitheater. So it's outdoors.

Jim Breuer 1:16:11 Burr was there.

Joe Rogan 1:16:12 Yeah, but it's warm out.

Jim Breuer 1:16:13 Burr packed that sucker.

Joe Rogan 1:16:14 Yeah, it was awesome. It was really fun. That was one of the first-

Jim Breuer 1:16:18 I had to pack that sucker.

Joe Rogan 1:16:18 ... first shows that I got to see-

Jim Breuer 1:16:20 So where do you play?

Joe Rogan 1:16:21 ... like, live. We've been doing-

Jim Breuer 1:16:22 Don't you play out here?

Joe Rogan 1:16:23 Yeah, we've been doing Stubbs.

Jim Breuer 1:16:25 Stubbs.

Joe Rogan 1:16:25 So Stubbs Amphitheater, we COVID test the whole crowd.

Jim Breuer 1:16:28 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:16:29 Yup. We get there. Uh, the show starts at 7:30. People get there at, like, 6:30. There's a giant-

Jim Breuer 1:16:34 Lies.

Joe Rogan 1:16:34 They got it down to a science. They, they test everybody. You go in there. You're supposed to wear masks, but a lot of people don't. And then you, you're in the crowd and everyone's distanced, but it's a, you know, like, 400-seat crowd.

Jim Breuer 1:16:46 Wow!

Joe Rogan 1:16:47 Yeah, and it's great. We've been-

Jim Breuer 1:16:49 And that's the ones you and Dave have been doing?

Joe Rogan 1:16:50 Yeah, me and Dave and Donnell Rawlings. And the other night we did it with Ron White.

Jim Breuer 1:16:54 Oh!

Joe Rogan 1:16:55 Michelle Wolf's done a bunch. Moe Amer has done a bunch of them with us. And we've been having so much fun.

Jim Breuer 1:16:59 Ro- raws.

Joe Rogan 1:16:59 It's... And then we also been doing, uh, Vulcan Gas Company sometimes. It's, like, a local place. And then, um, they'll have, uh, local shows. Like, they're... They have a show there tonight. And, uh, you know, fuck around there just to keep the, uh, chops loose. And, um, eventually I'm opening up a club here.

Jim Breuer 1:17:16 Are you?

Joe Rogan 1:17:17 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I got the ball rolling.

Jim Breuer 1:17:19 Oh, god.

Joe Rogan 1:17:20 I, I'll let you know what happens.

Jim Breuer 1:17:21 Let me know. I'd love to play there.

Joe Rogan 1:17:23 Oh, fuck, 100%. Yeah, I would love to have you.

Jim Breuer 1:17:25 Aw.

Joe Rogan 1:17:25 As soon as everything's run- up and running, I will send out the bat signal. And I'm gonna-

Jim Breuer 1:17:29 You're gonna have an overload.

Joe Rogan 1:17:31 I'm trying to have an overload.

Jim Breuer 1:17:32 No, it's gonna be an overload.

Joe Rogan 1:17:33 Well, I wanna-

Jim Breuer 1:17:34 It's-

Joe Rogan 1:17:34 ... have an overload. There's gonna be more clubs that are opening up here too. They're reopening up Cap City, but it's under the Helium banner. The guy from Helium-

Jim Breuer 1:17:40 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:17:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:17:41 He's hitting Austin?

Joe Rogan 1:17:42 Yeah.

Jim Breuer 1:17:42 Wait a minute. Did I-

Joe Rogan 1:17:43 Mark Grossman?

Jim Breuer 1:17:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:45 Yeah, he's doing, um... They're doing it at The Domain, which is this really nice shopping area of, uh, of Austin.

Jim Breuer 1:17:52 They always hit-

Joe Rogan 1:17:52 It's a great place.

Jim Breuer 1:17:53 ... hit, like-

Joe Rogan 1:17:54 Smart. Very smart.

Jim Breuer 1:17:54 Really, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:55 Very smart place to put it because there's a j- a ton of bars and restaurants there. And, and apparently he's gonna really do it up nice and have two rooms in, in that building too. So he'll have a small room and a larger room, and so it's a big pack.

Jim Breuer 1:18:07 Is there an impro- I feel like I was in Austin. Is there an improv here?

Joe Rogan 1:18:10 No, there's no improv. There's no real comedy club here right now because Cap City went under. 'Cause when Cap City went under because of COVID, um-

Jim Breuer 1:18:17 Oh, I'm so stupid. I was by Dallas.

Joe Rogan 1:18:19 There's a Dallas Improv, there's a Houston Improv.

Jim Breuer 1:18:21 That's where I wanna say.

Joe Rogan 1:18:22 I did Houston Improv in July. It was fucking great. But I s- I got... I smoked too much weed and I got really paranoid. I came back.

Jim Breuer 1:18:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:18:30 I came back and I was like, "Oh my God, I don't wanna infect a guest. I can't do this. I can't be going..." And I, I was getting tested and I was clean, but I was still like, "Fuck, what if I g- g- infect somebody?"

Jim Breuer 1:18:40 I haven't... You know what? I think I got mine from... I was t- I was... I went to Dallas, whatever that Improv is. And the very last night, I, I... I could be wrong. I could have been anywhere, but-... I, I would eat by myself. I would, I would, I would... I'm totally solo. I don't, I don't even know who's opening tonight. I don't know what's going on. Um, and after the last show, I went in the green room and I