Joe Rogan Experience #1622 - Marcus Luttrell

1. 0:00 – 2:24

   Reconnecting post-quarantine and how different states handled COVID fear

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music) Alright. Marcus, what's up? How are you?

   2. MLMarcus Luttrell0:16

      Great.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      Thanks for coming, man.

   4. MLMarcus Luttrell0:19

      One year to the date.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      Yeah?

   6. MLMarcus Luttrell0:21

      I think we were supposed to do this last year right when the quarantine hit.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:23

      Right.

   8. MLMarcus Luttrell0:23

      It was kind of go- 'cause it was April 1st that I, I called. It was new-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:27

      Yeah.

   10. MLMarcus Luttrell0:28

       I remember 'cause Melanie was yelling at me. She's like, "If you call Joe and tell him we're not gonna be making out there, we're not gonna be able to make it out there." And I was like... I was putting it off, putting it off. I was like, "Bro, I'll, I'll get out there." And then they did the lockdown. So, almost to the day.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       It was spicy a year ago. No one knew what was happening.

   12. MLMarcus Luttrell0:43

       It's crazy, right?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       It was a little weird.

   14. MLMarcus Luttrell0:44

       It was.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Now, it's like, eh, nobody's worried anymore.

   16. MLMarcus Luttrell0:49

       I, uh, well-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Except California people.

   18. MLMarcus Luttrell0:50

       We learn fast.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Yeah.

   20. MLMarcus Luttrell0:51

       Our people.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       (laughs)

   22. MLMarcus Luttrell0:52

       They pick stuff up quick. I mean, we suffer together, then there'll always be those that are trying to figure out, uh, ways to, to get us back to where we're supposed to be, and that just took some time.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       Yeah. Well, it seems like Texas did a much better job of relaxing once the pandemic hit, where people just... You know, for some folks it's very dangerous, but it same- it seemed like Texas did a much better job of just going like, "Wait a minute. Why is everybody freaking out over this?"

   24. MLMarcus Luttrell1:17

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:17

       Like, "We, we can open things up."

   26. MLMarcus Luttrell1:20

       Big place too.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:21

       Yeah.

   28. MLMarcus Luttrell1:22

       I think that has a lot to do with it because in the outlying towns and... There's a lot of things that got shut down when there's some things aren't. Like money never got shut down, 'cause that, everything that... People still had to go out and they, they talk about that herd, uh, immunity.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:34

       Mm-hmm.

   30. MLMarcus Luttrell1:35

       'Cause with the families, they bunch up with them, you get sick, lock down, get the antibodies. But the more spread out... And some of the towns, they didn't even get it.
2. 2:24 – 3:39

   Fights without crowds: the strange energy of violence and performance

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:24

      No, you can. That, that's the one energy that... Like right now we've been doing fights with no audience.

   2. MLMarcus Luttrell2:28

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:28

      And it's, it's real weird.

   4. MLMarcus Luttrell2:29

      Remember I texted you, I was like-

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:30

      Yeah.

   6. MLMarcus Luttrell2:31

      ... "How is, how is that? Is that even-"

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:32

      It's wild. If you want to go to one, there's one this weekend in Vegas. It's the heavyweight championship, Stipe Miocic versus Francis Ngannou.

   8. MLMarcus Luttrell2:40

      Okay.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:40

      And it's probably one of the last ones we do without an audience. It's pretty fucking wild.

   10. MLMarcus Luttrell2:44

       What are the fighters saying?

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:46

       Some of them love it. It's less distractions. It's quicker for them to get into the octagon. Once they arrive there, they just warm up and then they go in there. They don't have to get to the arena like early in the day-

   12. MLMarcus Luttrell2:56

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:56

       ... and stay there all day. It's, uh, it's a different vibe, but it's great. Like, you know what I, I compare it to the difference between a concert where you're like in a filled arena with a rock band, electric guitars versus a small acoustic show?

   14. MLMarcus Luttrell3:11

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:12

       That's kind of the difference.

   16. MLMarcus Luttrell3:13

       Or like, um, out behind the schoolhouse fighting as opposed to...

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:17

       Yeah.

   18. MLMarcus Luttrell3:18

       You know what I mean?

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:18

       Yeah.

   20. MLMarcus Luttrell3:18

       'Cause the anticipation of it, once that punch goes, if not a lot of people are looking, it's not... That's the hardest part about being a fighter I would imagine, everyone's watching you do it.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:26

       For some folks they like it though. Some folks perform better when people are watching.

   22. MLMarcus Luttrell3:30

       That's what makes them special, right?

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:31

       Yeah, they want to hear the roar of the crowd.

   24. MLMarcus Luttrell3:32

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:33

       And some guys would rather just stay calm and just focus on the task at hand and not have any distractions.

3. 3:39 – 5:43

   Brawlers vs. trained fighters and the psychology of controlled aggression

   1. MLMarcus Luttrell3:39

      So what is that? What separates fighters like that?

   2. JRJoe Rogan3:41

      It's interesting. It's like it's not whether or not they're good-

   3. MLMarcus Luttrell3:44

      No, yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:44

      ... because there's great fighters that like both things. There's great fighters that love the roar of the crowd and there's great fighters that they don't, they're like, "I don't give a fuck. I don't need a crowd. I just, I'll, let's go in a room."

   5. MLMarcus Luttrell3:53

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:54

      "I don't, I don't, I don't give a fuck."

   7. MLMarcus Luttrell3:55

      So a brawler as opposed to somebody who's been trained to fight.

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:58

      I don't even think it's that. I think it's-

   9. MLMarcus Luttrell3:59

      Are those two different things?

   10. JRJoe Rogan4:00

       Yeah.

   11. MLMarcus Luttrell4:01

       They are, right?

   12. JRJoe Rogan4:01

       Yeah, for sure.

   13. MLMarcus Luttrell4:02

       Absolutely.

   14. JRJoe Rogan4:02

       A brawler versus someone who's been trained to fight. The difference is like some people just love to fight and they don't even know how to do it.

   15. MLMarcus Luttrell4:07

       Yeah, but they're good.

   16. JRJoe Rogan4:09

       (laughs) Yeah.

   17. MLMarcus Luttrell4:09

       Whatever reason, man, they can get it on.

   18. JRJoe Rogan4:11

       Well-

   19. MLMarcus Luttrell4:11

       And then there's some people who train to fight and they fight like they've been trained.

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:14

       Yeah.

   21. MLMarcus Luttrell4:15

       It's amazing to see the difference.

   22. JRJoe Rogan4:16

       Yeah. Well, I think it's, um, bold people, wild people, they tend to do well, especially if they're fighting against someone who's not technical, who's not smart. But there's people that are bold but they temper it, you know, and those people learn how to control it and those are the most dangerous ones.

   23. MLMarcus Luttrell4:34

       Yeah, fortune favors the bold, right?

   24. JRJoe Rogan4:35

       Yeah. But like guys like Jon Jones is a perfect example 'cause he's very bold and wild, but he's also super smart and technical. Like he tempers it, he takes his wildness and then he tempers it and that's, uh, one of the things that makes him the greatest of all time is 'cause he's, he's figured out how to like take all the wild and... Like when he fought Shogun, he was 22 years old. He was fighting for the title. He opens up the fight with a flying knee.

   25. MLMarcus Luttrell4:58

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan4:58

       On a legend.

   27. MLMarcus Luttrell4:59

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan4:59

       I mean, nobody does that.

   29. MLMarcus Luttrell5:00

       Right.

   30. JRJoe Rogan5:00

       That's a wild move to do it, uh, for an opening move.
4. 5:43 – 10:34

   Cancel culture, documentation, and the loss of forgiveness

   1. MLMarcus Luttrell5:43

      That's the great, greatest part about this country too, man. Forgive.

   2. JRJoe Rogan5:45

      Yeah. That's a big thing that's missing today, right? With all this cancel culture bullshit and some girl got, just got canceled for some fucking tweet she made when she was 17. Like now she's 27. She's a, an editor at Vogue or something like that. Is that what it is? Like well, come on man. You're 17, you're a fucking kid. You don't know what you're doing.

   3. MLMarcus Luttrell6:05

      I, I've been off the, offline for a little while. Is the cancel cult-

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:08

      Good.

   5. MLMarcus Luttrell6:08

      ... d- d- okay. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:10

      (laughs)

   7. MLMarcus Luttrell6:10

      I'm just checking back in. Um, is there a ... Is that a group? Is there a leader who, who-

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:16

      (laughs)

   9. MLMarcus Luttrell6:16

      ... pushes? I don't, I don't know. Is that a bad question?

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:18

       No, it's a perfect question.

   11. MLMarcus Luttrell6:19

       I mean, I don't know. I-

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:20

       You really don't know, that's why it's a perfect question.

   13. MLMarcus Luttrell6:21

       No, I don't. That's what I'm asking. I'm like, "Who runs that?"

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:23

       Stay ignorant.

   15. MLMarcus Luttrell6:24

       Okay. (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:25

       K- keep away from it. (laughs)

   17. MLMarcus Luttrell6:25

       All right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:26

       It's ... No, it's just, it's just people are being bullies. And you know what it is? It's like, political correctness, once it gets established that there's things that people want you to say and don't want you to say, then there's people that are gonna be bullies. That when someone steps outta the line or when someone says something that's questionable, they're gonna try to attack them.

   19. MLMarcus Luttrell6:45

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:45

       What it really is, is a bunch of, like, really shitty human beings that just want an excuse to go after someone. And they wanna pretend they're doing it because they're morally outraged, but really, they're just shitty human beings without any empathy and without any forgiveness. That's what a lot of it is. And they, they find an opportunity to attack someone. And then there's also a lot of people that are bored. They don't have anything to do during this pandemic.

   21. MLMarcus Luttrell7:06

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan7:06

       And they're also ... They have mental health problems 'cause they've been locked up inside their house and they're, they're losing their job and they're losing their career, and then they just attack people. It's a lot of what it is. It's just ... It sh- social media shows some of the worst aspects of human beings.

   23. MLMarcus Luttrell7:21

       Well, it's the collective consciousness of everybody, right?

   24. JRJoe Rogan7:24

       Yeah.

   25. MLMarcus Luttrell7:24

       Uh, if you see it on there, someone's thinking it.

   26. JRJoe Rogan7:26

       Yeah.

   27. MLMarcus Luttrell7:26

       And in a way, the, the cancel culture makes you earn what you said if you said it. I mean, it's gotta be both ways. You can be bullies, 'cause we know those. You gonna ... I grew up around 'em, I'm sure.

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:35

       Sure.

   29. MLMarcus Luttrell7:35

       If you're a fighter like I know you are, I had to do the same thing. It was for a reason.

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:40

       Yeah.
5. 10:34 – 12:55

   Training emotions, being a beginner again, and ego as the real enemy

   1. MLMarcus Luttrell10:34

      Sure. Well, that's when it ... Like, when, when try- you're not supposed to judge somebody really, uh, of ... Kind of on a lot of stuff. It's ... Life's hard. Everyone's reality is their own.

   2. JRJoe Rogan10:43

      Yeah.

   3. MLMarcus Luttrell10:43

      It's perfect when you're by yourself, right? When you wake up in the morning, perfect reality. Me too. I get up, look in the mirror, everything's good.

   4. JRJoe Rogan10:49

      Yeah.

   5. MLMarcus Luttrell10:50

      As soon as you walk out and run into somebody else's reality, whatever, they're swinging. If you ain't ready for it ...

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:54

      It's true.

   7. MLMarcus Luttrell10:55

      ... it'll, I mean, it'll hit you.

   8. JRJoe Rogan10:56

      Yeah.

   9. MLMarcus Luttrell10:57

      And you, you put yourself in positions to deal with different realities. And a lot of times people think it's, "Oh, look at these guys are ... They're doing this, they're tough as heaven," and you go in. If you're not ready for that-

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:06

       Right.

   11. MLMarcus Luttrell11:06

       ... it's not ... Not saying you can't be ready for it, but training is, is everything.

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:10

       Yeah.

   13. MLMarcus Luttrell11:11

       Every emotion that you have that you're born with is raw. You spend your entire life training each one of them. And I don't care how old you are. If you get into a situation for the first time, you'll always react like a child 'cause you just hadn't been trained in that kind of environment for that emotion. Love, hate, rage.

   14. JRJoe Rogan11:26

       Mm-hmm.

   15. MLMarcus Luttrell11:27

       You know, truth, love, all that stuff.

   16. JRJoe Rogan11:29

       Yeah. I think that's one of the things that I think is very important for people too, is to do new things so they experience the feeling of being a beginner again.

   17. MLMarcus Luttrell11:38

       Isn't that great?

   18. JRJoe Rogan11:38

       Yeah. I love it.

   19. MLMarcus Luttrell11:40

       Walking in the gym as a white belt in that new class, right?

   20. JRJoe Rogan11:42

       (laughs)

   21. MLMarcus Luttrell11:42

       Just kinda ... Man, I know enough to where I should perform but I don't wanna get my ass kicked. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:46

       Yeah.

   23. MLMarcus Luttrell11:47

       That's the scariest thing, I think, for people in the martial science and, and like jujitsu. They don't wanna go in there thinking ... The minute you walk in there, that it's like a octagon, you're just gonna get your ass handed to you. They don't realize that it's no, just show up and then we'll start from what you don't know.

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:59

       Yeah, they're gonna, they're gonna treat you like a beginner and they're gonna be kind to you. That's-

   25. MLMarcus Luttrell12:03

       That's why they're called tea- I mean, the good ones.

   26. JRJoe Rogan12:05

       Yeah.

   27. MLMarcus Luttrell12:05

       You'll get hooked like that.

   28. JRJoe Rogan12:07

       Yeah. It's, uh, it's just a matter of having the courage to be a beginner and that's where a lot of people, they just don't know how to d- humble themselves like that.

   29. MLMarcus Luttrell12:16

       Ego.

   30. JRJoe Rogan12:16

       Yeah. Ego.
6. 12:55 – 28:34

   Marriage as translation: different realities, communication, and respect

   1. MLMarcus Luttrell12:55

      You got, you got to be that opposite and when they do s- marriage is funny, the stuff that you figure out going through it 'cause you figure out the differences.

   2. JRJoe Rogan13:02

      Mm-hmm.

   3. MLMarcus Luttrell13:03

      I never knew that we could be sitting somewhere and listening to somebody talk and what... We hear the same sentence, but what they interpret and what we interpret are two different things.

   4. JRJoe Rogan13:11

      Yeah.

   5. MLMarcus Luttrell13:11

      You know what I'm talking about?

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:12

      Oh, yeah.

   7. MLMarcus Luttrell13:12

      Like you and I could be having a conversation and everyone will understand it, but we're talking about something different.

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:16

      Yeah.

   9. MLMarcus Luttrell13:17

      And when I figured that out, I was talking to the wife one day. We were at the vet and there was a, a pamphlet on there, it had some babies and some puppies, and it said, "Protect them from danger. Protect them for life." And I was kind of in a grumpy mood anyway and I was like, "Hey, hon, what does that mean to you?" She's like, "Just what it says. Protect them from danger. Protect them for life." And I was like, "Right, but eventually if I always protect them from danger, I'll always have to protect them for their life. There's gotta be a transition to when you kinda turn it around and you, you're, you're pushing them back out to, to earn their spot." And then Melanie and I would get into some arguments about something and I realized like if, if it goes past a couple of different conversations, then we're saying the same thing, just differently.

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:58

       Right.

   11. MLMarcus Luttrell13:59

       And I'll just back up and I kinda stop, you know, talking just to let her calm down, but it's, it's the communication. That's same like I, our, our relationship's like the Weather Channel, constant updates. I mean, tell me what you're thinking.

   12. JRJoe Rogan14:08

       (laughs)

   13. MLMarcus Luttrell14:09

       You know, guys, we, (laughs) we stuck in the same path and we're-

   14. JRJoe Rogan14:12

       Yeah.

   15. MLMarcus Luttrell14:12

       And if for whatever reason they shift off of it, that's kinda the Lord's way of saying, you know, "I'm teaching you something."

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:16

       Well, it's also, I don't think you and I are ever gonna understand how a woman feels. There's no way. I can't imagine.

   17. MLMarcus Luttrell14:22

       That's by design.

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:23

       Yeah, I, I guess. Whatever. Nature?

   19. MLMarcus Luttrell14:25

       The un- universe is awfulst- in its infinite wisdom, designed it that way.

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:28

       There's no way you can. You can guess, but that's what it is. It's a lot of guesswork. Or when, when women-

   21. MLMarcus Luttrell14:33

       (laughs) Isn't that great?

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:34

       Yeah.

   23. MLMarcus Luttrell14:34

       With, with guys like us, we train for everything.

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:37

       Right.

   25. MLMarcus Luttrell14:37

       I mean, train to see it and, and, and when it, when it walks in to deal with it-

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:41

       Yeah.

   27. MLMarcus Luttrell14:41

       ... if need be. And she'll walk in sometimes and I don't even know what... And I'm like, "What?" (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan14:48

       (laughs) Yeah, they're coming at things from a totally different angle.

   29. MLMarcus Luttrell14:50

       (laughs) Totally different, yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan14:51

       But, you know, I mean, they're making all the people inside their bodies. Imagine that. Just, just imagine being a person who makes human beings in your body.
7. 28:34 – 41:18

   Pain, perspective, and modern softness: cycles of hardship and strength

   1. JRJoe Rogan28:34

      There's- th- we- w- uh, you know, there's that old expression that hard times make hard men. Hard men make easy times. Easy times make soft men. Soft men make hard times.

   2. MLMarcus Luttrell28:48

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan28:48

      And there's this cycle, and we are in the worst part of that cycle right now, what the- the Hindus call the Kali Yuga. And this- this- this- this situation we're in now, it's like we've had all these blanket protections. We've had all this softness, and we've had people like you out there protecting us from the worst aspects of human nature. And then because of that, people get soft and uncomfortable, and then they look for all these weird reasons why people are evil and people are ba... They don't understand real evil. They don't get it. They- they don't... They've never experienced what you've experienced. And it's my belief that only people like you that have stared into the heart of evil, that have stared into the heart of darkness, that have been there, that have l- l- lost brothers and get- got as close to a human being, as- as- as close to you can to losing your own life and come back, that you can tell people what the fuck is really going on when people are at their worst. We are, at our worst, w- we are territorial primates. We've always been this way.

   4. MLMarcus Luttrell29:54

      Right.

   5. JRJoe Rogan29:54

      At our best, we are brothers and lovers and family and- and- and comrades, and- and we unite each other. At our worst, we're- we're divisive and we're looking to d- diminish people and dismiss people. At our best, we're looking to build people up and we're looking to help people. And these- these lessons are, they're- they're so wide. It's so- it's so hard to gather up all the information to make a- a- a- a good assessment of what it means to be a person. But one of the things...... one of the lessons, one of, one of, one of the, the most important pieces of information, what it means to be a person is the people that have gone through the worst, and the worst is war.

   6. MLMarcus Luttrell30:39

      The most dangerous thing down here is an undisciplined human mind.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:41

      Yes.

   8. MLMarcus Luttrell30:42

      Period.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:43

      Yes.

   10. MLMarcus Luttrell30:44

       And the only way you can know true happiness is if you know true pain. And we, we do cycle through life. If, if, there, I mean, that's why the history books are there. It shows every one of those perpetual cycles. I think there's four of them. And in order for someone who had to go through something so hard to obtain something so great to enjoy it, then you'd wanna pass that down. Well, that, that next gen will never understand it. They just don't. And then that one cycle feeds the other, and so as, as we transfer through time, look at the atrocities we've done to each other. Yeah, we are family. You go back far enough, there weren't that many of us, and just kinda branched out and we populated this place. You ever run across anybody where you just automatically like them? Like-

   11. JRJoe Rogan31:21

       Yeah.

   12. MLMarcus Luttrell31:21

       ... "Hey, man, we're bud." 'Cause you know you're probably kin. Like, we're family.

   13. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       Yeah.

   14. MLMarcus Luttrell31:24

       And then there's people that, that are opposite of your magnet. (laughs) Like, you can tell. And when they come in swinging something, it all depends on where they're from, what they're going through. And as we go through our life and we go through those hard times, it's incumbent upon us to look back into our hard times to understand what somebody at a certain age is going through. Age is rank. Can't get ahead of it. Can't get below it.

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:44

       Mm-hmm.

   16. MLMarcus Luttrell31:44

       You can study something just like in school, if you're a freshman, study some senior stuff, but you're still gonna have to go through the class. Like with the millennials, they have the iPhone. Like, they can touch a picture on that screen, it'll show up to the door. That sounds made up, right? It just does. They have way too much information and not enough life experience.

   17. JRJoe Rogan32:01

       Mm-hmm.

   18. MLMarcus Luttrell32:02

       And that's kind of a, a good thing and a bad thing 'cause life will teach that. Some people get consumed by certain things and go down-

   19. JRJoe Rogan32:09

       Yeah.

   20. MLMarcus Luttrell32:09

       ... certain rabbit holes and can't get out of it. It's always important to remember... We have a saying in the family, "Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff."

   21. JRJoe Rogan32:15

       (laughs)

   22. MLMarcus Luttrell32:15

       Like, man, you just... You know, you can get wrapped up some stuff that'll consume you. And if you're always wrapped up about it, that means it's not supposed to... You're not supposed to be (laughs) getting all worked up about it. It's designed to keep you like in a game. It's just to hold you in that one thing-

   23. JRJoe Rogan32:28

       Yeah.

   24. MLMarcus Luttrell32:29

       ... while everyone else keeps moving.

   25. JRJoe Rogan32:30

       You gotta figure it out.

   26. MLMarcus Luttrell32:31

       Yeah. It's like a game of life. Imagine when you come in here, you come in here dying. The minute you walk, you know, the minute you're delivered on your back, butt naked. You're dying. So you actually learn how to live while you're dying down here. And in that are all the emotions that you're training. So if you... Before you came down here, imagine you wrote your story out. Would it all be good times? No, of course not. Man, you want tri- challenges and everything in between. The only way you can... Like I said, you can appreciate your hard times is when you've had the good ones.

   27. JRJoe Rogan32:58

       The only way.

   28. MLMarcus Luttrell32:59

       That's it. We don't have bad ones. There's just nothing you've been trained for.

   29. JRJoe Rogan33:02

       Right. Yeah. That's, uh, my, my feeling about LA. The weather's too good.

   30. MLMarcus Luttrell33:08

       It is. It's so good. (laughs)
8. 41:18 – 1:03:30

   Discipline as inheritance: fatherhood, boundaries, and forging resilience

   1. MLMarcus Luttrell41:18

      No. My father always tell me he's not... he wasn't my friend. He's like, "I'm not your friend. I'm your father." And I never understood why he said that to me until I had kids. And the reason being is because we do stupid things with our friends. I still do. I still have the same friends I've had since we were boys. And the reason I have them is because they possess a strength that I have as a weakness, and when we're together, I don't feel vulnerable. But you take one of them away, then you kind of notice that it's gone. And my father would always tell me, he's like, "I'm gonna give you two things throughout this life. I'm gonna give you discipline, and through discipline, you're gonna gain respect. Respect for yourself and respect for other people. Only time you ever lose your respect is when you throw your discipline away. Period."

   2. JRJoe Rogan41:55

      Mm-hmm.

   3. MLMarcus Luttrell41:55

      "You're the only one that can lose it." He's like, "My shoes aren't here for you to fill, but you can walk in them every now and again if you need it." And the reason I... I mean, I thought my father was the hardest man. You know, he would whip. God, man. It was like iron fist, right? My mother was a hippie and my father was a bit of an outlaw. He was a chemical engineer, smartest man I ever met, but just the only time I get ever line, out of line, uh, like with my mother or kind of talking back, nothing bad, but it's a matriarchal family. Kind of women run the show. So only time I'd ever see him is when he tuned me up for that.

   4. JRJoe Rogan42:27

      Mm-hmm.

   5. MLMarcus Luttrell42:27

      And then the hard lessons he learned on me as I was growing up, he just did them on purpose because he could put the pressure on and then take it off. And then when I ran into it in life, when it won't come off, I was ready.

   6. JRJoe Rogan42:39

      Right.

   7. MLMarcus Luttrell42:40

      So, I, I say that to my f- my kids now. I'm like, "I'm not your damn friend." And it drives Melanie crazy 'cause I'm like, "I'm your father, period. Don't ever forget that." I was like, "There's somebody who's got to keep you in check to make sure that..." And it, it says it in the Bible you ain't supposed to like your dad. It says it. You're loved-

   8. JRJoe Rogan42:57

      Does it?

   9. MLMarcus Luttrell42:57

      It does.

   10. JRJoe Rogan42:57

       What does it say?

   11. MLMarcus Luttrell42:58

       You're loved and beloved by your mother. Reason being is 'cause there's probably four generations of men. I bet you loved your granddaddy-

   12. JRJoe Rogan43:04

       Right.

   13. MLMarcus Luttrell43:04

       ... a lot like him. Definitely like your great-grandfather and you're probably the exact as your great-great grandfather, right, four cycles, the warrior, the, the poet, the guy that, there's a... I can't remember it off the top of my head. But your father, he, you're the next version of him, so he sees what's there. And no matter how hard the training comes down, and I would, I'll be the first person to tell you my father was hard on me, but my wife loves the way I turned out. So I'm like, "Well, thanks, Pop." You can't... I mean, that's why it just says that. I mean, and when you get older you kind of look back at after everything that we had to go through. I'm like, man, if, if I had to go through that with him, it's because he saw something to make, and now I'm sitting right here.

   14. JRJoe Rogan43:42

       It can't be comfortable.

   15. MLMarcus Luttrell43:43

       No, it's not.

   16. JRJoe Rogan43:44

       It can't be.

   17. MLMarcus Luttrell43:45

       (laughs) No, it's not. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

   18. JRJoe Rogan43:48

       Yes.

   19. MLMarcus Luttrell43:48

       I mean, that's just pla- there are things down here at a certain age-

   20. JRJoe Rogan43:51

       Isn't that funny?

   21. MLMarcus Luttrell43:51

       ... you can't negotiate with them. That's why pain exists.

   22. JRJoe Rogan43:53

       Yeah.

   23. MLMarcus Luttrell43:54

       That's why you got a butt with padding on it, right?

   24. JRJoe Rogan43:57

       (laughs)

   25. MLMarcus Luttrell43:57

       I mean, my father never hit me on that spot. It was everywhere else, but it's, um, depends on what you're raising. There are things down here that get sick, things that never get sick. There are things that when people... I've talked to vegetarians. I have a lot of friends that are vegetarians, I'm like, "Why don't you eat just..." And I was like, "Well, um, there are things down here that are predators, that eat meat," just like humans. Humans and animals kind of co-exist together. You can see yourself in nature. There are huge men that just eat plants, just like there are huge animals that eat, just eat plants. Once you figure out kind of what your spirit is and how your body works, you can understand each other 'cause there's nothing down here the same. Hell, everyone down here is as unique as your fingerprint. No one's the same color. No one's the same height. Everything is unique. It's just-

   26. JRJoe Rogan44:38

       Yeah.

   27. MLMarcus Luttrell44:38

       ... we kind of, we want to, we want to put them into groups.

   28. JRJoe Rogan44:41

       And it's almost like a trick because you're, you're trying to emulate all the, the people that you see that are successful or that you admire around you. But you have to recognize that you are not them, and even if you emulate them as much as you can, as good as you can, as well as you can, as often as you can, you're still never gonna be them.

   29. MLMarcus Luttrell44:56

       Why would you want to be?

   30. JRJoe Rogan44:57

       Why would you want to be?

Episode duration: 2:25:22