Joe Rogan Experience #1623 - Doug Stanhope

1. 0:00 – 2:50

   Stanhope emerges from a year of lockdown: nerves, packing, and road re-entry

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) Douglas.

   4. DSDoug Stanhope0:16

      I am fucking nervous.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Why? For real?

   6. DSDoug Stanhope0:19

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      Why?

   8. DSDoug Stanhope0:20

      Uh, it's a good- no, it's a good thing. I haven't left my fucking house in a year. I mean, except for-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:25

      You've been totally locked up?

   10. DSDoug Stanhope0:26

       Well, I mean, I go to the grocery store. Uh-

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       How did you, how did you avoid getting it? You didn't get it at all, right?

   12. DSDoug Stanhope0:32

       No.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       The cooties?

   14. DSDoug Stanhope0:33

       No.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Nothing?

   16. DSDoug Stanhope0:33

       Because everyone I know is a shut-in too.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       (laughs)

   18. DSDoug Stanhope0:36

       And I fucking loved it. It's, it's like, I left a day after my year anniversary. Like, I packed a week before coming here.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       So, all you've done is go to the food store?

   20. DSDoug Stanhope0:49

       Yep.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Wow.

   22. DSDoug Stanhope0:50

       Uh, well, I went up to Phoenix for New Years to see a... it's a long story, to see a dog that I almost kept, uh, but I gave away. Anyway, so yes, basically no, I have not left-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       (laughs)

   24. DSDoug Stanhope1:04

       ... fucking Bisbee, Arizona in a year.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       Wow.

   26. DSDoug Stanhope1:07

       And I didn't think it affected me until I left. It's like if you stayed in bed for a year going, "I don't need to walk. I know how to walk." And then after a year you're like, "Fuck, my legs." (laughs) "I'm atrophied."

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:22

       What feels... What feels the weirdest?

   28. DSDoug Stanhope1:24

       Well, just figuring out how to pack for the road. I packed everything. I drove and, uh, I left Sunday to be here Wednesday. It's a 13-hour drive. I could have done it in one shot. (laughs) But I was so excited, I was like, "I'm gonna leave on Sunday and just take the back roads and, uh..." Like, I practiced talking on the phone before I came here.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:48

       (laughs)

   30. DSDoug Stanhope1:49

       An hour and a half before, I'm just calling people... Like, I don't talk to anyone on the phone. The only time I, you know, use the phone is to figure out where to meet you to talk. I don't socialize on the phone.
2. 2:50 – 4:58

   Goofy suits, pajama comfort, and staying financially low-maintenance

   1. DSDoug Stanhope2:50

      Yes. You notice I have fucking... I did... Like, I brought two different suits, like goofy suits.

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:57

      Right.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope2:57

      I'm like, "I've been wearing pajamas for a year. I would... I think I would be even more awkward if I was wearing a suit, especially with stupid hair."

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:05

      When did the goofy suits become a thing with you? Like, what year do you think that-

   5. DSDoug Stanhope3:09

      1989 it started in telemarketing-

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:12

      (laughs)

   7. DSDoug Stanhope3:12

      ... because my mother would send me goofy suits like that because they had just gone out of style, like in that earlier... that decade.

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:20

      Mm-hmm.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope3:21

      So, they're, you know, fucking... It's like buying acid wash jeans now. You know, they're a fucking nickel a pair at the thrift store.

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:27

       I think Jamie has a few pairs. Do you have any of those?

   11. NANarrator3:29

       Acid wash sweatpants?

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:31

       Oh, yeah, that's right. Sweatpants.

   13. DSDoug Stanhope3:33

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:34

       Yeah, but that is your signature shit now, the goofy suit.

   15. DSDoug Stanhope3:39

       Yeah, and I go, "I don't think I'm ready to put on a goofy suit. I don't know if it would clash with the goofy hair." Because people will show up at my shows in goofy suits-

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:48

       Oh, no.

   17. DSDoug Stanhope3:48

       ... but they'll have like plaid on plaid and you go, "No, that doesn't work."

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:52

       (laughs)

   19. DSDoug Stanhope3:52

       Like, I accessorize perfectly in a goofy suit but I go, "I have the goofy hair now. Is that like polka dots on plaid? I don't know."

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:01

       Right, have you gone too far?

   21. DSDoug Stanhope4:02

       Yeah, I want to be comfortable here so I'm wearing pajamas like I have for the last year.

   22. JRJoe Rogan4:07

       Why don't you just wear pajamas?

   23. DSDoug Stanhope4:09

       That's what I'm wearing. Well, pajama pants.

   24. JRJoe Rogan4:12

       Are those pajama pants?

   25. DSDoug Stanhope4:13

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan4:14

       Okay. There you go.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope4:15

       And this is... this was my old travel shirt. I wore this any time I traveled. I'm like, "Yeah, I want to be comfortable. I don't want to fucking worry about my tie clip."

   28. JRJoe Rogan4:23

       You've stayed within your means very well. Like, you've never had to worry about finances. Like, you've... you dialed that in early.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope4:32

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan4:33

       You never fell into the trap a lot of people do where they like buy a bigger house or buy a bigger car or this or that?
3. 4:58 – 9:27

   Vaccines, masks, and the ‘context collapse’ of viral clips

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:58

      (laughs) When do you think you're gonna start working again? Are you gonna get the vaccine?

   2. DSDoug Stanhope5:00

      I got my first shot.

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:02

      Which one? The Pfizer or the Moderna?

   4. DSDoug Stanhope5:03

      No, Moderna. I got my first shot (laughs) about two weeks ago. Two weeks ago tomorrow.

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:13

      Why is it funny?

   6. DSDoug Stanhope5:13

      Because I just realized I still have the fucking Band-Aid when I took a bath last night.

   7. JRJoe Rogan5:19

      (laughs)

   8. DSDoug Stanhope5:19

      I'm such a fucking slothful pig when it comes to bathing.

   9. JRJoe Rogan5:23

      Oh, that's hilarious.

   10. DSDoug Stanhope5:25

       And it's still there. I didn't wash that hard that it came off even last night. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan5:29

       They're resilient, those Band-Aids.

   12. NANarrator5:30

       Mm-hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan5:31

       They'll stick around for a while if you let them.

   14. DSDoug Stanhope5:32

       Well, I'm gonna get my follow-up shot two weeks from now.

   15. JRJoe Rogan5:35

       And they'll just peel that off.

   16. DSDoug Stanhope5:35

       From the same lady and I want her to see the same dirty bandage and make her take it off. (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:41

       (laughs)

   18. DSDoug Stanhope5:41

       I know that's rude but I think it's funny.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:45

       So, you're getting the shots in Bisbee? Is it hard to get it? Or do they have a good supply?

   20. DSDoug Stanhope5:49

       Uh, yeah. Well, it just... I don't want to get anyone in trouble but I probably cut a line.

   21. JRJoe Rogan6:00

       Oh, don't say anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Yeah.

   22. DSDoug Stanhope6:01

       But yesterday Cochise County tweeted, "Okay, now 18 and up."And I go, "Yeah, that's great you Tweeted that but, uh, maybe nine people in all of Cochise County are on Twitter. (laughs) You gotta go door to door to fucking alert these people."

   23. JRJoe Rogan6:18

       The UFC contacted me. They have a large supply of, uh, Johnson & Johnson vaccines, that's the one you only take one shot, it's different. It's on MR- mRNA vaccine, it's a different vaccine. What is that called, an adenovirus? Is that what it's called? Do you know what it's called? Some sort of different shot. But they, uh, they wanna give it to me this weekend.

   24. DSDoug Stanhope6:39

       Oh, so you haven't had your first yet?

   25. JRJoe Rogan6:41

       I was, I was gonna head down and get it. No.

   26. DSDoug Stanhope6:42

       All right. I, I, I don't, I don't know your... You know, I, I just-

   27. JRJoe Rogan6:47

       It's not anti-vaccine

   28. DSDoug Stanhope6:48

       ... I hear about you.

   29. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       Oh. You hear about me.

   30. DSDoug Stanhope6:51

       It's like, "I think he's an anti-masker. Well maybe he's an-
4. 9:27 – 11:38

   COVID as Stanhope’s perfect excuse: solitude, quitting comedy cycles, and moral tradeoffs

   1. DSDoug Stanhope9:27

      There, that's my hypocrisy. I got... First of all, COVID for me for a year has been the best excuse I've ever had. This is one of the best years of my life-

   2. JRJoe Rogan9:37

      (laughs)

   3. DSDoug Stanhope9:38

      ... was 2020-

   4. JRJoe Rogan9:39

      Just allowed-

   5. DSDoug Stanhope9:39

      ... plus one. Uh, was, yeah, to have an excuse to not socialize, to not work. 'Cause I'm legendary for every three years going, "Fuck this, I'm done with comedy." (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan9:49

      Yeah, you quit for like six months and then you-

   7. DSDoug Stanhope9:52

      And I know that I'm lying.

   8. JRJoe Rogan9:53

      Right.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope9:53

      But, uh, like, uh, mentally, this time I had an excuse to not work. I had an excuse why you couldn't come over, where generally I'm polite and you wanna come down and visit but, yeah, COVID. And then-

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:05

       Mm.

   11. DSDoug Stanhope10:06

       ... well, you really believe that shit? Well the people around me do. And then they can put the blame on, you know, Chaley and Tracy like-

   12. JRJoe Rogan10:13

       (laughs)

   13. DSDoug Stanhope10:13

       (laughs) ... yeah, they're, everyone else is worried. I'm sorry there's nothing I can do. Uh, and then I get the shot. Uh, my first one. And, uh-

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:22

       Did the first one bother you at all? Did it fuck with you?

   15. DSDoug Stanhope10:24

       I'm so afraid of needles that I started drinking at 9:00 AM for a 5:00 PM shot.

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:31

       (laughs)

   17. DSDoug Stanhope10:31

       So the next day when I was sweating through fucking comforters, I don't know is that hangover or flu residual?

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:39

       (laughs)

   19. DSDoug Stanhope10:40

       But the, the hypocrisy is that I've always shit on Chaley and Tracy for getting flu shots. "You should get a flu shot." No, I don't, I don't, I don't like needles. Uh, well I might be killing as many old people (laughs) by not getting a f- regular flu shot, but I don't give a fuck about old people and they're not in my life.

   20. JRJoe Rogan10:59

       Oh.

   21. DSDoug Stanhope11:00

       Which I think, uh, subliminally a lot of people, uh... If, if, if coronavirus was killing that many babies and children?

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:12

       Right.

   23. DSDoug Stanhope11:12

       I think the same anti-maskers would be attacking you with a crowbar for not wearing a mask in public. "You're fucking risking my kid's life!"

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:22

       Probably.

   25. DSDoug Stanhope11:22

       People would get fucking ape-like over their children.

   26. JRJoe Rogan11:24

       Yeah, people would be, they'd be very different. But, yeah.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope11:27

       Yeah. I think that's, of fucking natural selection kind of thing is, I don't give a fuck about old people, they're taking food from the fucking family and the, and the herd. Let them die off.

   28. JRJoe Rogan11:38

       (laughs)

5. 11:38 – 12:59

   Road-trip brain: Audible binges, evolutionary psychology, and rebooting Doug’s podcast

   1. DSDoug Stanhope11:38

      I'm a... I get a... I, I've been studying Evolutionary Psychology. Uh, I, I downloaded a book on Audible about it, 16 and a half hours, and listened to it on the way out so I should-

   2. JRJoe Rogan11:50

      Yeah?

   3. DSDoug Stanhope11:50

      ... have a degree even though I didn't understand (laughs) most of what they were talking about.

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:54

      What's the book?

   5. DSDoug Stanhope11:55

      Uh, The Moral Animal.

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:57

      Oh. Um, who is that? Who wrote that?

   7. DSDoug Stanhope11:59

      I...... it's- it's like when you started comedy and you go, "That guy was really funny." "What was his name?" "I have no idea, I just went to comedy night and there was a guy that was really funny." I don't know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan12:09

      What, uh- what got you into this Moral Animal book?

   9. DSDoug Stanhope12:12

      Well, I- I- uh- fucking-

   10. JRJoe Rogan12:13

       Long drive?

   11. DSDoug Stanhope12:14

       That's why I love long drives.

   12. JRJoe Rogan12:16

       Yeah.

   13. DSDoug Stanhope12:16

       Like, that's why I left three days early, 'cause I l- th- there's nothing that makes me more creative, like your sensory deprivation tanks. A fucking road trip acro- from Arizona across New Mexico and West Texas?

   14. JRJoe Rogan12:30

       Yeah. (clears throat)

   15. DSDoug Stanhope12:31

       Nothing but fucking two lanes to focus on, n- nobody out there and, yeah, y- your mind spirals. That was why I- I had to practice talking.

   16. JRJoe Rogan12:42

       Sometimes that's great.

   17. DSDoug Stanhope12:43

       I stopped and did one podcast, my own podcast, which I should promote, I never promote my own. I'm putting more effort into it. We're doing Patreon. Uh-

   18. JRJoe Rogan12:51

       Are you doing Patreon now?

   19. DSDoug Stanhope12:53

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan12:54

       Did you just get tired of doing ads?

   21. DSDoug Stanhope12:56

       Well, I- uh- well, we gotta make money.

   22. JRJoe Rogan12:59

       Right.

6. 12:59 – 23:32

   The prison-podcast orbit: a friend who killed his mom and another who accidentally killed his wife

   1. DSDoug Stanhope12:59

      Like, I started that podcast as a- a- a default open mic. Back- I started my podcast back when we really thought everyone has a podcast. (laughs) And since COVID, like, I have two people that I- I keep in touch with that are in, uh, one's in a mental institution for murdering his mother.

   2. JRJoe Rogan13:20

      Whoa.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope13:20

      Actually in a halfway house now. Uh-

   4. JRJoe Rogan13:23

      They're gonna let him out?

   5. DSDoug Stanhope13:24

      Yeah, he's got a job. He- I have this in-

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:26

      Killed his mom?

   7. DSDoug Stanhope13:26

      Yes. Y- yes. I assume stabbed her to death, I never really got into the details.

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:31

      Whoa.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope13:31

      But he's coming to my shows. He- he gets day passes and-

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:34

       Yeah?

   11. DSDoug Stanhope13:35

       ... nice kid. And then Bobby Caldwell at-

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:37

       Nice- nice kid.

   13. DSDoug Stanhope13:37

       ... Notes from the Pen-

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:39

       Hold up.

   15. DSDoug Stanhope13:39

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan13:39

       Let's not gloss over this. Nice kid stabbed his mom, what happened?

   17. DSDoug Stanhope13:43

       Yeah, he's a m- mental illness.

   18. JRJoe Rogan13:45

       And they're gonna let him out? Did they fix it?

   19. DSDoug Stanhope13:47

       He- he's- h- he's out.

   20. JRJoe Rogan13:48

       How'd he-

   21. DSDoug Stanhope13:48

       He only went back in because of COVID and now he's back out-

   22. JRJoe Rogan13:51

       How long was he in for?

   23. DSDoug Stanhope13:52

       (laughs) Not very long, I think it was 2014.

   24. JRJoe Rogan13:54

       How's his mom- how's his mom's family feel about this?

   25. DSDoug Stanhope13:56

       Uh, the- the-

   26. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       2014? Really?

   27. DSDoug Stanhope13:58

       Yeah, yeah, that quick.

   28. JRJoe Rogan14:00

       That's fucking crazy.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope14:01

       Yeah. Well, fuckin'-

   30. JRJoe Rogan14:02

       You- you go in jail for eight years for-
7. 23:32 – 33:33

   Comedians, relationships, and the ‘punch-up’ power imbalance

   1. DSDoug Stanhope23:32

      Eh, you've never dated a comedian.

   2. JRJoe Rogan23:34

      No. I did when I was 21.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope23:36

      Where?

   4. JRJoe Rogan23:36

      When I was 21.

   5. DSDoug Stanhope23:37

      I, I, I was in a relationship for a, like, a year and a half.

   6. JRJoe Rogan23:42

      It can get rough.

   7. DSDoug Stanhope23:43

      And-

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:45

      Yeah.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope23:45

      And they're working out bits, and you can't... Like, I can tell Twyman-

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:49

       Ooh.

   11. DSDoug Stanhope23:49

       I don't get why you would even think that's a joke.

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:52

       Right. And he can handle it.

   13. DSDoug Stanhope23:53

       'Cause who's he gonna kill? Me?

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:56

       (laughs)

   15. DSDoug Stanhope23:57

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:57

       If he kills another person, he's really going away.

   17. DSDoug Stanhope23:59

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan24:00

       This, this time.

   19. DSDoug Stanhope24:00

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan24:00

       For real.

   21. DSDoug Stanhope24:02

       Yeah. Those, and none of these meds are gonna work.

   22. JRJoe Rogan24:04

       Yeah, the, um, the dating comedian thing, it works sometimes. Like, uh, like Tom Segura and Christina Pazitzky, it works great.

   23. DSDoug Stanhope24:13

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan24:13

       You know? Bonnie McFarlane, Rich Vos works great.

   25. DSDoug Stanhope24:15

       Is funnier than Vos, so, uh-

   26. JRJoe Rogan24:17

       Yeah.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope24:17

       ... it's, uh, you know, power dynamic.

   28. JRJoe Rogan24:18

       Yeah.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope24:18

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan24:20

       (laughs) Well, they're both funny. They're both-
8. 33:33 – 1:16:11

   Road horror stories and sobriety turns: Ron White, doctors, and drinking math

   1. DSDoug Stanhope33:33

      Like, I wanna be like uber distance but if you live out in fucking butt fuck rich part of town, they might not have Ubers. Ron White fucked us like that once. (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan33:42

      Did he?

   3. DSDoug Stanhope33:42

      Well, yeah, he's like, "Yeah, after the show in Atlanta," he showed up and did a guest spot. (laughs) "But you have to come to my house to party afterwards. It's, it's just right down the road. It's like fucking almost an hour away. We're gonna be on the tour bus, so we'll take all of you on the tour bus and we're coming back through this way."

   4. JRJoe Rogan34:02

      (sighs)

   5. DSDoug Stanhope34:02

      "Anyway, tomorrow we'll drop you back off," and we partied through the night. Like, one of the hardest fucking hangovers I've ever lived through. With a show the next night.

   6. JRJoe Rogan34:11

      Ron White is sober now.

   7. DSDoug Stanhope34:13

      Oh, uh, yeah. Tell me that but... (laughs) So, so the next morning as we're still like vaguely awake, he's like, "You guys gotta get a Uber." We're like, "I thought the tour bus is taking us back." "Change of plans."

   8. JRJoe Rogan34:27

      Oh, God.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope34:29

      And then it's this gated community on a golf course and a fucking Uber takes two and a half hours-

   10. JRJoe Rogan34:34

       (sighs)

   11. DSDoug Stanhope34:34

       ... so we're drinking again to fucking tamp down the hangover and then... It was, it was one of the worst shows I've ever had that night, where I said, "If I gave refunds, this would be the show. But I don't."

   12. JRJoe Rogan34:45

       (laughs)

   13. DSDoug Stanhope34:47

       Uh, yeah. I heard he's, uh, do some like Ayahuasca effect thing?

   14. JRJoe Rogan34:51

       Yeah. He went, um... He's more than 60 days sober now. Sharp as a tack. I did, uh, the Chappelle's shows with him last week. I did Sunday and Tuesday with him last week. And I did a Vulcan Gas Company in town too. I did that with him too. He's fucking sharp as fuck, and just completely sober. He went to the doctor. Big mistake, right? You don't go to the doctor.

   15. DSDoug Stanhope35:13

       Nope.

   16. JRJoe Rogan35:13

       (laughs)

   17. DSDoug Stanhope35:14

       Nope.

   18. JRJoe Rogan35:15

       He went to the doctor (laughs) . The doctor gave him the old once over and go, "We gotta fucking hit the brakes on this train." Like, "This runaway train is heading right for a cliff."

   19. DSDoug Stanhope35:23

       Did, did he tell you why he went to the doctor?

   20. JRJoe Rogan35:25

       Nope. I didn't ask. I feel like Ron White tells you everything he wants to tell you.

   21. DSDoug Stanhope35:29

       Oh, I do. I... 'Cause that's my doctor, is... Who did I just talk to? Uh, I, I can... Fuck it. I'll... J- Jordan Zevon, Warren's son.

   22. JRJoe Rogan35:39

       Oh.

   23. DSDoug Stanhope35:40

       Uh, who I've known peripherally through like MySpace and social media. Like, we've DMed here and there. He sent me a, like Warren Zevon's like original practice amp. Uh, fucking cool guy and I said, "Hey, I want you on the podcast." This was just a couple of weeks ago. And he's like, "Uh, I'm probably not that interesting. I'm not Jordan Springsteen," (laughs) and, uh, "But here's my number anyway 'cause I don't drink anymore." And I called him up and I go, "I'll tell you if you're interesting or not." And he told me the most interesting story. He got diagnosed with cirrhosis and then, uh, like unwrapped, like, "Well, what made you go to the doctor to begin with? What symptoms (laughs) should I be looking for that you had?" That's like Hedberg's old joke. "My girlfriend wanted me to get a AIDS test. So I call my friend and I said, 'Hey, Brian, do you know anyone with AIDS?' And he said, 'No.' And I said, 'Well, you know me.'"

   24. JRJoe Rogan36:40

       (laughs)

   25. DSDoug Stanhope36:42

       But yeah, it...

   26. JRJoe Rogan36:45

       So, you-

   27. DSDoug Stanhope36:45

       What should I look for? I have none of those symptoms, I think I'm good.

   28. JRJoe Rogan36:48

       Um, you're a, um, a moderate regular drinker. That's what I would say.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope36:55

       Well, it's also 1:30 in the afternoon.

   30. JRJoe Rogan36:58

       Yeah, but I mean, you, but you drink a lot of light beer.
9. 51:33 – 1:00:42

   The Man Show war stories and pitching new projects with leverage

   1. DSDoug Stanhope51:33

      We had that problem with The Man Show.

   2. JRJoe Rogan51:36

      Yeah.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope51:36

      Now, i- i- it's a reverse problem, is that ph- we know we're gonna take the bad beat for doing shitty bits. (laughs) The sketches like this ... Do you remember the time where (laughs) we had to do some fucking awful bit that, uh, where we were-

   4. JRJoe Rogan51:56

      Yeah.

   5. DSDoug Stanhope51:57

      ... talking?

   6. JRJoe Rogan51:57

      I know what you're saying. Yeah. Without being-

   7. DSDoug Stanhope51:59

      But, we forgot that we were-

   8. JRJoe Rogan52:00

      ... too mean to other people.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope52:00

      Th- yeah, we, we-

   10. JRJoe Rogan52:01

       Yeah.

   11. DSDoug Stanhope52:01

       ... forgot we were mic'd up and we were talking about-

   12. JRJoe Rogan52:03

       (laughs) (claps hands on legs)

   13. DSDoug Stanhope52:04

       ... like this fucking bit we're about to fucking ... We forgot that the head writer was listening to the (laughs) entire thing.

   14. JRJoe Rogan52:11

       The problem is-

   15. DSDoug Stanhope52:11

       I still feel bad about that.

   16. JRJoe Rogan52:13

       ... that's, I don't feel bad about that. You, you, you, we were forced into that situation. That was a trick. You know, I, I tell people what happened with that show. You and I got pulled aside-

   17. DSDoug Stanhope52:21

       But that specific instant-

   18. JRJoe Rogan52:22

       Yeah.

   19. DSDoug Stanhope52:22

       ... incident where a, like, if we had talked to Tom to his face and said, "This thing sucks," but he had to hear it from me smoking backstage by a fucking dumpster and (laughs) -

   20. JRJoe Rogan52:36

       Yeah.

   21. DSDoug Stanhope52:36

       ... just you talking to me, we're like, "Who fucking wrote this?" Jesus gun. Good God. I can't believe I came up with that.

   22. JRJoe Rogan52:42

       I would never do a show like that ever again. I don't think you can ever do a show where you bring in producers that aren't comics, that don't understand your sensibility, and then you have network executives that have their opinions and they're not funny and they all wanna get their greasy little hands on the, on the recipe. And it becomes-

   23. DSDoug Stanhope53:02

       Well, y-

   24. JRJoe Rogan53:02

       ... a disaster.

   25. DSDoug Stanhope53:03

       Like, I'm, I, we're, uh, you know Olivia Grace?

   26. JRJoe Rogan53:06

       Yes.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope53:06

       Fucking-

   28. JRJoe Rogan53:06

       Very funny.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope53:07

       ... the best.

   30. JRJoe Rogan53:08

       I met her when she was like 16.
10. 1:00:42 – 1:46:13

    Austin vs ‘Comedian Grove’: building comedy ecosystems and escaping Hollywood gravity

    1. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:42

       Yeah. Oh, fuck. Let me get to Comedian Grove in a minute.

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       Comedian Grove?

    3. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:48

       Yeah. I've ref-When I left on this trip, right before I left on Sunday, my buddy, Raider, found a spot where you go, "Oh, we could make Comedian Grove, like Bohemian Grove for comics." And, uh, it was the first time that I really thought, "Oh, I could leave Bisbee and move there."

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:01:10

       Comedian Grove, meaning-

    5. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:11

       Mm-hmm.

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       ... like you have a place that comics can all move to?

    7. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:15

       Y- y- yeah. Uh, w- where we could set up... It's got like, uh, uh, 17 casitas, uh, 29,000 square-

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:01:26

       What is a casita?

    9. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:26

       Li- little-

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:01:27

        Little houses?

    11. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:27

        Cabins, but, you know, Southwest-

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:29

        That's one of those things that I've read but I've never looked up, like a casita, like that kind of-

    13. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:33

        Yeah, so you say... Cabin.

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

        Yeah.

    15. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:36

        Like... With a main house, it's 4,000 square feet. Like a ballroom, which would be the showroom, 2,000 square feet. (coins clinking) 42 miles from a, you know, a secondary airport where you go, "Oh, yeah, we could..." D- do you remember the cave house outside of Bisbee?

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:55

        Mm-hmm. Yeah. I talked about buying it. Remember? I talked... I told you.

    17. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:57

        Yeah, and then we said if we... It was a million dollars. And I go, "Well, if we get 10 comics to pitch in 100, 100 grand, we could have this, like a fucking comedians-"

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:02:09

        Yeah.

    19. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:09

        Like you always had that idea of The, uh, League of Extraordinary Comedians.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:02:13

        Yes. (laughs)

    21. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:15

        Like a, like a Skull and Bones. This would be a place we could have a performance space, 17 different places-

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:02:23

        (coughs)

    23. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:23

        ... where people could come in, like a private club free speech zone, I don't know what the fuck they...

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:02:29

        Yeah.

    25. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:30

        With a showroom, a vacation destination. And I spent half of this drive turning off my fucking Audible (laughs) book-

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:02:39

        Thinking about it.

    27. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:39

        ... just to fucking fantasize. I'm like-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:41

        Listen, let's pause you right here. Let's join forces. Let's join forces, Doug Stanhope. Austin, Texas is calling you. That's what I'm doing here. That's my plan. My, my plan is to... I mean, I've already got Tim Dillon moved here, Fahim Ew-

    29. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:57

        Fucking Dillon moved here?

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:58

        Dillon moved here. Tom Segura moved here.

Episode duration: 2:50:28