Joe Rogan Experience #1623 - Doug Stanhope

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) Douglas.

   4. DSDoug Stanhope0:16

      I am fucking nervous.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Why? For real?

   6. DSDoug Stanhope0:19

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      Why?

   8. DSDoug Stanhope0:20

      Uh, it's a good- no, it's a good thing. I haven't left my fucking house in a year. I mean, except for-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:25

      You've been totally locked up?

   10. DSDoug Stanhope0:26

       Well, I mean, I go to the grocery store. Uh-

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       How did you, how did you avoid getting it? You didn't get it at all, right?

   12. DSDoug Stanhope0:32

       No.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       The cooties?

   14. DSDoug Stanhope0:33

       No.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Nothing?

   16. DSDoug Stanhope0:33

       Because everyone I know is a shut-in too.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       (laughs)

   18. DSDoug Stanhope0:36

       And I fucking loved it. It's, it's like, I left a day after my year anniversary. Like, I packed a week before coming here.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       So, all you've done is go to the food store?

   20. DSDoug Stanhope0:49

       Yep.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Wow.

   22. DSDoug Stanhope0:50

       Uh, well, I went up to Phoenix for New Years to see a... it's a long story, to see a dog that I almost kept, uh, but I gave away. Anyway, so yes, basically no, I have not left-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       (laughs)

   24. DSDoug Stanhope1:04

       ... fucking Bisbee, Arizona in a year.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       Wow.

   26. DSDoug Stanhope1:07

       And I didn't think it affected me until I left. It's like if you stayed in bed for a year going, "I don't need to walk. I know how to walk." And then after a year you're like, "Fuck, my legs." (laughs) "I'm atrophied."

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:22

       What feels... What feels the weirdest?

   28. DSDoug Stanhope1:24

       Well, just figuring out how to pack for the road. I packed everything. I drove and, uh, I left Sunday to be here Wednesday. It's a 13-hour drive. I could have done it in one shot. (laughs) But I was so excited, I was like, "I'm gonna leave on Sunday and just take the back roads and, uh..." Like, I practiced talking on the phone before I came here.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:48

       (laughs)

   30. DSDoug Stanhope1:49

       An hour and a half before, I'm just calling people... Like, I don't talk to anyone on the phone. The only time I, you know, use the phone is to figure out where to meet you to talk. I don't socialize on the phone.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Wait, wait, wait, wait,…

   1. DSDoug Stanhope15:00

      a podcast. Bobby at notesfromthepen.com fucking accidentally killed his wife i- in a- during a suicide attempt and now he-

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      Wait, wait, wait, wait, what?

   3. DSDoug Stanhope15:11

      ... he's ano- he's the other guy. He's-

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      Jesus Christ.

   5. DSDoug Stanhope15:14

      But he's- th- that guy's brilliant. He's really strong. He was dr- drug addicted and tried to kill himself and fucking, the bullet went behind him as his wife was trying to stop him, killed her.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:25

      Whoo.

   7. DSDoug Stanhope15:26

      And, uh, yeah, he's doing 15 years. He's, like, he's, uh, like, four years away from release in Michigan. Uh, hopefully fucking Michigan, uh, starts ... They- they don't have a, uh, good behavior kind of thing, or Bobby would be out by now. That guy's actually a legit writer. Uh, if y- i- if- he does, uh, on his website he has, uh, he's a comedy fan and he has all these, uh, like, how a comic ... these different comics. Pull up notesfromthepen.com and how comics would fare in prison, 'cause-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:02

      (laughs)

   9. DSDoug Stanhope16:02

      ... he rates all- all the- the comedians, how they would ... And, uh, of course, y- y- you do very well. Uh-

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       (laughs)

   11. DSDoug Stanhope16:09

       ... go pull it up.

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       This book that you have too, I wanna talk about.

   13. DSDoug Stanhope16:12

       The point is they both have podcasts. Bobby's podcast is really popular now.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:18

       Let me see, Andrew Santino, "7 out of 10, redhead, quick wit, relatively young, confident. He'd find his crew. I feel like redheads fight more than usual, so he'd probably get into a few altercations."

   15. DSDoug Stanhope16:28

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan16:28

       "But generally would be all right with a few, some news stories and a few scars." Um, go up a little bit.

   17. DSDoug Stanhope16:35

       Go to R- go to Rogan.

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:37

       (laughs) Amy Schumer?

   19. DSDoug Stanhope16:39

       Question mark? (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:42

       (laughs) Adam Sandler, "9 out of 10. If- if I'd only seen his comedies, I would have scored him lower."

   21. DSDoug Stanhope16:48

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:49

       "But there's a depth, even darkness under the surface." Had you see- have you seen Uncut Gems?

   23. DSDoug Stanhope16:53

       Mm-hmm.

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:54

       It's fucking fantastic.

   25. DSDoug Stanhope16:55

       Yeah, it's great.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:56

       It's fucking fantastic.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope16:57

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:58

       It's like, if you think you know who Adam Sandler is, watch Uncut Gems. I mean, that guy's a- an incredible actor. Like, if you- you th- see-

   29. DSDoug Stanhope17:06

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:06

       ... Waterboy and then you see this, you'll go, "Wait- wait a fucking minute. This is the same guy? Like, how come you haven't been doing this the whole time?" Like, he's so good. You wonder, like, it's crazy that he does these, like, silly movies, which I guess he loves, and I- look, I love Zo- Zohan's one of my favorite movies.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. DSDoug Stanhope30:00

      watches whatever kids watch-

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:02

      Right.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope30:02

      ... and uses those references.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:05

      70 year old guy playing Twitch games online.

   5. DSDoug Stanhope30:08

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      Yeah. Yeah, and that's-

   7. DSDoug Stanhope30:09

      It's like Grand Theft Auto VI. Is it VII yet? I don't know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      How many Grand Theft Autos are there, Jamie?

   9. NANarrator30:16

      (clears throat) There's done five.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:17

       Five?

   11. NANarrator30:18

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:18

       Ugh.

   13. NANarrator30:18

       It's been 10 years. Or close to it.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       10 years?

   15. NANarrator30:21

       It's been a while. They're still promoting it, though. (whispers) Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:24

       You mean Grand Theft Auto V came out 10 years ago?

   17. NANarrator30:27

       It came out right around the time-

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       No shit.

   19. NANarrator30:28

       ... I got a job for-

   20. DSDoug Stanhope30:28

       So that's even a dated reference.

   21. NANarrator30:30

       Yeah, so about eight, ten years, yeah.

   22. DSDoug Stanhope30:31

       (laughs) I'm using a, I'm using a 10-year-old reference as a new reference of something I don't understand. Like it just-

   23. NANarrator30:37

       It's still popular, so no, it's, I mean, you're not really that wrong, to be honest with you.

   24. DSDoug Stanhope30:40

       Well, it's, uh ...

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Are they making a new one?

   26. NANarrator30:44

       ... they are very quiet about that, so like, no one knows.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope30:46

       They're very quiet about a lot of things. Like, if you were a comic that, like maybe eight years ago, was hired to be a comic that's in the game and you put on the whole fucking CGI suit and you did your act in front of a fake audience-

   28. NANarrator31:01

       Mm-hmm.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope31:01

       ... that, uh, so they could put it in the game but you had to sign all sorts of non-disclosure agreements, like it's the biggest secret that you're gonna be on the game and then you're never on the game, you still to this day could not fucking talk about it.

   30. NANarrator31:14

       Really?
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Are you feeling better…

   1. DSDoug Stanhope45:00

      broccoli, uh, then I have the green mix, uh, flaxseed and peanut butter for protein. Uh, if it's green I do cucumber and celery for flavor, green apple, pineapple.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Are you feeling better from doing this?

   3. DSDoug Stanhope45:13

      Well, yeah, I... No, I feel like shit all the time.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:16

      (laughs) That doesn't help at all?

   5. DSDoug Stanhope45:17

      I'm sure it does, but I don't notice... I'm really bad with cause and effect. Like, like I get nervous. When I started this, I'm like, "I'm nervous and I love it." But I, I'm not mentally aware that I'm nervous, I know physically that I'm nervous. When I booked the UK, I f- I'm so terrified of the UK for some reason, even though they're-

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:40

      Really?

   7. DSDoug Stanhope45:40

      ... very welcoming to me. I'm terrified of their audiences, uh, 'cause generally I think they're s- smarter and funnier than most American comedians.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:50

      Mm.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope45:51

      Just the average guy in the crowd. That I, like, I, I know when I can't brush my tongue, 'cause I gag, that I'm nervous. Where I, I, I wasn't-

   10. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       (laughs)

   11. DSDoug Stanhope46:01

       ... really aware that I was nervous until...

   12. JRJoe Rogan46:06

       I think they have very high standards for, for y- your work-

   13. DSDoug Stanhope46:10

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       ... in the UK. They don't tolerate sloppiness so much. They, they, they want you to be prepared.

   15. DSDoug Stanhope46:16

       But I don't know-

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:17

       Yeah.

   17. DSDoug Stanhope46:17

       ... what they expect. And I, I-

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:19

       'Cause you don't know the culture as well.

   19. DSDoug Stanhope46:21

       Right.

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:21

       Yeah.

   21. DSDoug Stanhope46:22

       I can't, I can't profile like you can in the States, where you can look at a person and, and know by what they're wearing or how they h- carry themselves. Over there-

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:35

       Right.

   23. DSDoug Stanhope46:36

       ... everyone's just a mutated head like me with fucking-

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:38

       (laughs)

   25. DSDoug Stanhope46:39

       Like, I don't know y- y- you're, you've...

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:43

       They've, they're generally, (coughs) generally very accepting towards American comics though. Like, when American comics have gone over there, they've done really well. Like, Bird did his last special there. Um, you know, obviously Hicks became huge over there.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope46:56

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:56

       A lot of guys go over there and do really well.

   29. DSDoug Stanhope46:59

       Yeah, I, again-

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:59

       I l- I've always loved performing there.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00

   Jesus Christ. …

   1. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:00

      and the guy... I'm watching on security camera as, (laughs) as the guy's updating his Facebook and Chad Shank is updating, "Yup, he's, he's in town. Yeah. He's hitchhiking." (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      Jesus Christ.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:17

      And then I, I alerted the cops who fucking... Bisbee cops have been so fucking cool with me.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

      Are you friends with the cops in your town?

   5. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:27

      Uh, well, now a lot of them are judges. (laughs) They, they, they've moved-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

      They became judges?

   7. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:32

      Well, one of them, uh... And, and then... But yeah, they, they've all been cool with me. Yeah. A couple of friends that are now judges.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

      Are you there for life? Is that your spot now?

   9. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:42

      Yeah. Oh, fuck. Let me get to Comedian Grove in a minute.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       Comedian Grove?

   11. DSDoug Stanhope1:00:48

       Yeah. I've ref-When I left on this trip, right before I left on Sunday, my buddy, Raider, found a spot where you go, "Oh, we could make Comedian Grove, like Bohemian Grove for comics." And, uh, it was the first time that I really thought, "Oh, I could leave Bisbee and move there."

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:10

       Comedian Grove, meaning-

   13. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:11

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       ... like you have a place that comics can all move to?

   15. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:15

       Y- y- yeah. Uh, w- where we could set up... It's got like, uh, uh, 17 casitas, uh, 29,000 square-

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:26

       What is a casita?

   17. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:26

       Li- little-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:27

       Little houses?

   19. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:27

       Cabins, but, you know, Southwest-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:29

       That's one of those things that I've read but I've never looked up, like a casita, like that kind of-

   21. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:33

       Yeah, so you say... Cabin.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       Yeah.

   23. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:36

       Like... With a main house, it's 4,000 square feet. Like a ballroom, which would be the showroom, 2,000 square feet. (coins clinking) 42 miles from a, you know, a secondary airport where you go, "Oh, yeah, we could..." D- do you remember the cave house outside of Bisbee?

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:55

       Mm-hmm. Yeah. I talked about buying it. Remember? I talked... I told you.

   25. DSDoug Stanhope1:01:57

       Yeah, and then we said if we... It was a million dollars. And I go, "Well, if we get 10 comics to pitch in 100, 100 grand, we could have this, like a fucking comedians-"

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:02:09

       Yeah.

   27. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:09

       Like you always had that idea of The, uh, League of Extraordinary Comedians.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:13

       Yes. (laughs)

   29. DSDoug Stanhope1:02:15

       Like a, like a Skull and Bones. This would be a place we could have a performance space, 17 different places-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:23

       (coughs)
6. 1:15:00 – 1:16:11

   Yeah, I've seen it…

   1. DSDoug Stanhope1:15:00

      they wouldn't spread seed and...

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:15:01

      Yeah, I've seen it happen. It's, it's, uh, with chickens rather.

   3. DSDoug Stanhope1:15:05

      Yeah. Oh, I thought open mic night.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:15:06

      That too. (laughs)

   5. DSDoug Stanhope1:15:09

      (laughs) It's, uh, it's... I, I had to stop our- ourselves from getting into, oh yeah, we know shit about fucking evolutionary psychology-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:15:17

      A little bit.

   7. DSDoug Stanhope1:15:17

      ... just 'cause I read a fucking long book while I was-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:15:20

      You know a touch.

   9. DSDoug Stanhope1:15:20

      ... scared of Alpine Texas.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:15:21

       You know a touch. You know, I think that that's one of the reasons why, uh, people are attracted to risk takers too, and I think this has actually been proven. Or it's at least... No, no. I shouldn't say proven. Been theorized that, like, uh, guys, like, do, do those BMX jumps and shit and guys who do, like, crazy risk taking, like, things, there's, there's something about that, that a, a person who's willing to risk their health and life is attractive to the opposite sex 'cause that's a person who has courage. Even though it's a weirdly bastardized form of courage, you know, it's not the courage to go fight the enemies of the town that are coming in to try to steal your women and children, but it's, it's courage nonetheless. So, like, we recognize that courage by itself is like a v- it's, like, very powerful. The, the ability to do something that's very dangerous and you can take a risk. I think that even applies to, like, why people are attracted to people that go on stage.

Episode duration: 2:50:28