Joe Rogan Experience #1632 - Tom Segura

Narrator 0:00 (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) Hello, Tommy Bunz.

Tom Segura 0:16 Hello, Joseph.

Joe Rogan 0:17 Welcome to the new studio.

Tom Segura 0:18 I love it.

Joe Rogan 0:18 You are guest number uno.

Tom Segura 0:20 This is a great look, man.

Joe Rogan 0:21 Thanks, buddy.

Tom Segura 0:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:23 I mixed it up.

Tom Segura 0:23 It's brighter.

Joe Rogan 0:24 So, like a little bit of the old.

Tom Segura 0:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:26 A little new.

Tom Segura 0:28 Some aliens here.

Joe Rogan 0:29 Little bit of alien shit. This might be annoying, my name behind me.

Tom Segura 0:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:32 Might be annoying. It looks cool-

Tom Segura 0:33 It does look cool.

Joe Rogan 0:33 ... but it might not be the right spot for it.

Tom Segura 0:35 Yeah, it does-

Joe Rogan 0:36 We'll figure that out.

Tom Segura 0:36 It does look cool.

Joe Rogan 0:37 It's a little odd, though. Like-

Tom Segura 0:38 Yeah. Well, not really.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Me and then a big neon thing of my name right behind me.

Tom Segura 0:43 I sense you're gonna move that.

Joe Rogan 0:43 It's a little obnoxious.

Tom Segura 0:45 Okay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:45 I looked at the image on the screen, I was like, "Oh, that's not what I was hoping-

Tom Segura 0:48 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:49 ... it looked like." (laughs) It looks dope, right? It's cool. It's a cool sign, but I just don't know if it's the right background.

Tom Segura 0:54 Yeah. But the whole, the whole space looks great.

Joe Rogan 0:56 Thank you.

Tom Segura 0:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:57 I like it. The ceiling, the star- did you see the shooting stars across the ceiling?

Tom Segura 1:01 I did. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01 Pretty dope, right?

Tom Segura 1:02 Yeah. Shit. It's, uh, it's very consistent. Your, you know, when all your moves still feels like you're in the same kind of space, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:10 The last one didn't. That, that, that one next door-

Tom Segura 1:11 Well, that one I never sat in. But I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:13 Oh, that's right.

Tom Segura 1:13 But, uh, when, you know, like, your second old, uh, LA studio-

Joe Rogan 1:18 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:19 You moved it to your newer LA studio. It's, like, the duplicate room, right?

Joe Rogan 1:22 Pretty similar.

Tom Segura 1:23 So, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:23 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:23 It feel, it feels like the same kind of- this feels like that, I think.

Joe Rogan 1:25 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:26 Yeah. I like it.

Joe Rogan 1:27 Thank you.

Tom Segura 1:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:28 What's it like being in Texas?

Tom Segura 1:29 It's great, man. I had a great week here. We were in San Antonio, Houston, Dallas.

Joe Rogan 1:33 What'd you do in San Antonio?

Tom Segura 1:34 I did Spanish shows.

Joe Rogan 1:35 Oh, shit.

Tom Segura 1:36 Yeah, I did sh-, uh, Spanish shows in each city.

Joe Rogan 1:38 Oh, wow. So, that's what you're doing right now, a Spanish tour?

Tom Segura 1:41 I mean, I'm, I'm going back. Next week, I'm doing English, uh, in Lexington, but yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:45 That's wild, man. And, and when you go to Miami, you could do both, right? You could mix it up.

Tom Segura 1:48 You could. Yeah, I mean, you could do them in all the cities I was in Texas in, for sure you could, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:52 Diaz used to do that in Miami, and he was unfollowable. Unfollowable.

Tom Segura 1:56 Oh, I'm sure. I am sure.

Joe Rogan 1:58 Unfollowable.

Tom Segura 1:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59 I saw him bury people there.

Tom Segura 2:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:01 'Cause he would do, like, standup, and then he would have punchlines in Spanish-

Tom Segura 2:06 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:06 ... and you would see people falling out of their fucking chairs.

Tom Segura 2:08 I saw him in Miami do a set last year, right the night that he dosed me, and, uh-

Joe Rogan 2:14 (laughs)

Tom Segura 2:14 ... and he murdered. So, I watched the show.

Joe Rogan 2:18 Yeah.

Tom Segura 2:18 'Cause I di- I finished my show at another venue and just drove to see him, and then he gave me a fucking pill-

Joe Rogan 2:23 (laughs)

Tom Segura 2:24 ... and then I watched his show. But he destroyed, absolutely destroyed.

Joe Rogan 2:28 Yeah, it's that, the combination-

Tom Segura 2:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:30 ... of like the Spanglish.

Tom Segura 2:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:31 You know, a little bit of Spanish, a little bit of English with that flavor.

Tom Segura 2:33 When I featured there, like, 12 years ago at the old, uh, Coral- no, uh, Coconut Grove-

Joe Rogan 2:39 Yeah.

Tom Segura 2:40 ... Club, and I used the Spanish that, you know, that I had, like, not even planning on it, but once you, you're in that room, oh my God, it was, it was-

Joe Rogan 2:47 They go crazy.

Tom Segura 2:48 Oh, yeah. It was like a weapon.

Joe Rogan 2:49 Yeah.

Tom Segura 2:49 I mean, it was-

Joe Rogan 2:50 Yeah, if you think of what is the percentage of people that are from, uh, Spanish-speaking countries that live in Miami?

Tom Segura 2:55 97%.

Joe Rogan 2:56 (laughs)

Tom Segura 2:57 It's, you can walk down Ocean Boulevard or Collins Ave, I told somebody, you could walk 20 minutes, just go on a 20-minute walk and not hear English. And you will hear Spanish, Portuguese, German, Italian.

Joe Rogan 3:08 Yeah.

Tom Segura 3:08 Like, that, that, but Miami Beach area, man, sup- super, like, diverse, multicultural area.

Joe Rogan 3:15 Yeah, it's fucking wild. It's a wild area. It almost seems like you need a passport to get there.

Tom Segura 3:20 You can walk into places in Miami and be like, "Excuse me," and they're like, "No, no, no English, no English."

Joe Rogan 3:24 (laughs)

Tom Segura 3:24 Like, they'll tell you, "We don't speak English here." You know? And it's, it's common.

Joe Rogan 3:28 Yeah.

Tom Segura 3:28 It's not unusual. Not unusual.

Joe Rogan 3:29 Well, they could get by like that. It's like going to-

Tom Segura 3:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:31 ... Chinatown in New York City.

Tom Segura 3:32 It's, it's like a Latin American country.

Joe Rogan 3:34 Yeah.

Tom Segura 3:34 Uh, like, you know? And then, and then you have tons, tons of French-speaking people in, in Miami too, you know?

Joe Rogan 3:39 Oh, do you really?

Tom Segura 3:40 Like, l- a bunch of Haitians and yeah, it's like a big community there.

Joe Rogan 3:42 Oh.

Tom Segura 3:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:43 Okay, that makes sense.

Tom Segura 3:43 It really, really is a super diverse city, man.

Joe Rogan 3:47 Yeah. My friend Mark moved there, Mark Sisson. He fucking loves it.

Tom Segura 3:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:50 He moved because he was like, "You know, let me just try it. Let me see 'cause I, I might not enjoy it, you know. Let me see what it's like."

Tom Segura 3:56 Sure.

Joe Rogan 3:57 Living in a condo on the beach.

Tom Segura 3:58 Dude.

Joe Rogan 3:58 He said it's fucking amazing.

Tom Segura 4:00 It's a whole vibe, man.

Joe Rogan 4:01 Yeah, and great restaurants all over the place-

Tom Segura 4:03 Oh.

Joe Rogan 4:03 ... and just-

Tom Segura 4:03 Christina's dad had a, had a condo there when we first got together, and we would go there, and it was, like, on South Beach. It was amazing. You felt, you felt like you had left the country.

Joe Rogan 4:13 Yeah.

Tom Segura 4:13 You know? Yeah, you feel like you're in the Ho- Bahamas or something.

Joe Rogan 4:15 Well, Schultes has been there the entire winter.

Tom Segura 4:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:18 He rode out the whole winter in Miami.

Tom Segura 4:19 He's loving it there, right?

Joe Rogan 4:20 He loves it.

Tom Segura 4:20 Man.

Joe Rogan 4:20 Yeah, he loves it. He might stay there. Who the fuck knows?

Tom Segura 4:22 He looks like he's having a good time.

Joe Rogan 4:24 Yeah.

Tom Segura 4:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:24 He looks like he belongs there.

Tom Segura 4:25 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:25 He's got the hat now and open shirt in all the pictures.

Tom Segura 4:27 It, it fits him, dude. It definitely fits, yes.

Joe Rogan 4:30 (laughs)

Tom Segura 4:30 Looks good.

Joe Rogan 4:30 Yeah, and he's already got COVID, so you know?

Tom Segura 4:33 Fuck it.

Joe Rogan 4:34 He's-

Tom Segura 4:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:34 ... you know, he's got the antibodies, so he's just roaming around.

Tom Segura 4:36 Yeah, man. No, I'm coming here. I'm moving here, man.

Joe Rogan 4:38 Yeah.

Tom Segura 4:39 I'm excited.

Joe Rogan 4:39 What's that feel like?

Tom Segura 4:41 You know, I've, I've been, uh... You know this. I've been a huge LA advocate and defender for years. Everybody, people talk shit about it, and I'm like, "Fuck you, man." Like, I, you know... I, I liked it.

Joe Rogan 4:51 Yeah.

Tom Segura 4:52 But I, I do feel like it was, the whole thing was horribly managed for the last year, and I don't, I don't like it as much anymore. I really don't. Um, so I'm, I'm excited. I mean, I've been there 19 years. That's the longest-

Joe Rogan 5:05 Yeah.

Tom Segura 5:05 ... I've ever lived anywhere.

Joe Rogan 5:06 Me too.

Tom Segura 5:07 And-

Joe Rogan 5:07 Same kind of thing.

Tom Segura 5:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:08 Yeah.

Tom Segura 5:08 And so, like, you know, I, you know, we looked around, we started talking about it. And then you know how it is. It's like, when your spouse is like, "Yes, I wanna do it," and then she became the harder force in it, I was like, "Well, I guess we're definitely doing this."

Joe Rogan 5:20 (laughs)

Tom Segura 5:20 You know? 'Cause I don't think, I didn't think I could ever get her to... I would throw this around sometimes, like the idea. Like, hey, let's move to... I used to... I love Denver. I was like, "Let's move to Denver."

Joe Rogan 5:29 You know, because her family comes from communist-

Tom Segura 5:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:32 ... you know, countries, and like, this idea of socialism is so appalling to her.

Tom Segura 5:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:37 Marxism and socialism, when she hears that kinda, like-

Tom Segura 5:40 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:40 ... even though it's this minor just woke version of it-

Tom Segura 5:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 5:43 ... she's like, "You fucking idiots." Like-

Tom Segura 5:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:45 ... "You don't know where this is going."

Tom Segura 5:46 Yeah, exact- exactly.

Joe Rogan 5:47 Yeah.

Tom Segura 5:48 It, it registers differently with those people.

Joe Rogan 5:49 Yes, it does.

Tom Segura 5:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:51 Yeah. Anybody that's been from any sort of, uh, any communist country, they get furious. Pe- that's why so many people in Miami were Trump supporters.

Tom Segura 6:01 Yes.

Joe Rogan 6:01 Cubans.

Tom Segura 6:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:02 Big time.

Tom Segura 6:02 And they were very smart, um, that campaign, with targeting.... them.

Joe Rogan 6:06 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 6:07 They went, they, they targeted them. Like, if you just wanna study, you know, the marketing and the ki- and the, running a campaign, they targeted Latin American people in a really smart way, the, the Trump campaign did.

Joe Rogan 6:18 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 6:19 Because they were like, "You, you know that bullshit that you left?"

Joe Rogan 6:22 It's coming.

Tom Segura 6:22 "It's coming."

Joe Rogan 6:23 Yeah.

Tom Segura 6:23 And, and that worked. They got (coughs) way more votes than they thought, than anyone thought they were gonna get.

Joe Rogan 6:29 Florida's just such an, a weird aberration, such a strange state.

Tom Segura 6:33 It's so strange.

Joe Rogan 6:34 But it's g- it came up big this year. Florida came up big.

Tom Segura 6:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:37 People that would never think about moving to Florida were like, "Florida's on the table."

Tom Segura 6:40 Yeah. A lot of north, like, a lot of New Yorkers were like-

Joe Rogan 6:43 Oh, yeah.

Tom Segura 6:43 I mean, in New York ... Florida had always been a destination for New Yorkers, but it was definitely in another gear this year.

Joe Rogan 6:48 Do you see what New York's doing now-

Tom Segura 6:49 No.

Joe Rogan 6:49 ... with, like, taxes?

Tom Segura 6:50 No.

Joe Rogan 6:51 They just proposed a new tax on anybody who makes more than a million dollars a year.

Tom Segura 6:55 That's a lot of New Yorkers.

Joe Rogan 6:56 They're, they're jacking up their taxes. They're jacking up their, uh, their, their taxes to over 14%.

Tom Segura 7:01 Dude, California's gonna be so fucked.

Joe Rogan 7:03 (laughs) So fucked.

Tom Segura 7:03 So fucked.

Joe Rogan 7:04 Ugh.

Tom Segura 7:04 I mean, the, the thing is, man, like, I still ... I like LA. I like parts of LA, like aspects of LA, but it is, it is a weird place right now.

Joe Rogan 7:13 Yeah.

Tom Segura 7:13 I don't see how anybody could say that it isn't, for someone who's lived there, like, two decades.

Joe Rogan 7:18 It's dangerous.

Tom Segura 7:19 It's dangerous, and it's fucking dirty, man.

Joe Rogan 7:21 Yeah, it's dirty.

Tom Segura 7:21 There's trash, trash everywhere.

Joe Rogan 7:23 Trash everywhere.

Tom Segura 7:23 There's trash everywhere, and it's so bizarre.

Joe Rogan 7:24 And there's no money to fix it.

Tom Segura 7:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:27 And then also, like, how are you gonna bring all those businesses back? Like all those places that are boarded up, what, h- what's it gonna take to bring it back-

Tom Segura 7:35 That's all you see. You see-

Joe Rogan 7:35 ... to what it was?

Tom Segura 7:36 ... so many, like, these strip malls-

Joe Rogan 7:39 Yeah.

Tom Segura 7:40 ... with, um, that have been ... Like, I've been driving by some of them, you know, for a year.

Joe Rogan 7:44 Yeah.

Tom Segura 7:44 And it's all shut down. And there's garbage er- and there's garbage on the freeways.

Joe Rogan 7:49 Yeah, it's weird.

Tom Segura 7:50 Like, you, whatever freeway you're connecting to, you know, you're going 5, 110, it's like you just see trash everywhere. It's so bizarre.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Yeah, all the sides of the road.

Tom Segura 7:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:56 Yeah.

Tom Segura 7:57 I, that I don't remember seeing before like that.

Joe Rogan 7:59 No. Well, they used to use prisoners to clean that shit up.

Tom Segura 8:02 Hm.

Joe Rogan 8:02 You know, that was a, like, uh, that was one of the things that Artie Lange had to do.

Tom Segura 8:06 Really?

Joe Rogan 8:06 Yeah, when he was on parole. I't- I'm pretty sure he did. I, I know I've seen other celebrities do the trash pick-up.

Tom Segura 8:10 Oh, there's, like, those cleanup crews? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:11 Yeah.

Tom Segura 8:12 That's gotta suck, man.

Joe Rogan 8:13 Yeah. Ugh.

Tom Segura 8:14 That's really gotta suck.

Joe Rogan 8:15 Yup.

Tom Segura 8:16 On a hot day. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:18 Yeah. Not good, but it gives you time to contemplate what you fucked up on.

Tom Segura 8:20 Yeah, what you did.

Joe Rogan 8:21 What'd you do wrong?

Tom Segura 8:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:22 You know?

Tom Segura 8:23 Uh, probably a felony. (blows raspberry) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:25 Wander around, pick up trash.

Tom Segura 8:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:28 I haven't seen any hide nor hair of Artie for, through the whole pandemic.

Tom Segura 8:33 No.

Joe Rogan 8:33 I haven't even heard a peep out of him.

Tom Segura 8:35 No, me neither.

Joe Rogan 8:37 I asked about it once. Remember, we were on, uh, our little text thread. And I said, "Hey, has anybody heard anything from Artie?" And-

Tom Segura 8:44 Has he ... You have no idea?

Joe Rogan 8:46 Nobody.

Tom Segura 8:47 Hm.

Joe Rogan 8:47 I mean, I, I heard he's just, like, hanging out.

Tom Segura 8:50 Oh, that's probably good.

Joe Rogan 8:51 Riding it out.

Tom Segura 8:51 That's good.

Joe Rogan 8:51 Hopefully.

Tom Segura 8:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:52 But I, I would think a guy like that ... Uh, you know, you don't realize how much, like, doing standup is a part of who you are as a person.

Tom Segura 9:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:01 Like, you put ... You, you can be creative, like, well, you guys actually probably are the best example of taking ... You and Schultts, like Schultts did an amazing job with his Instagram and then turned it into a Netflix special.

Tom Segura 9:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:12 But what you guys have been doing, with your live shows-

Tom Segura 9:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:15 ... is an amazing example of saying, "Okay, what can we do different?"

Tom Segura 9:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:19 Like, "How do we, how do we just do something that a fucking network would never let us do?"

Tom Segura 9:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:24 "Not in a million years."

Tom Segura 9:25 Not in a million years. And, you know, it's, it's really been, like, incredible, the, the response from, you know, from fans who-

Joe Rogan 9:33 Yeah.

Tom Segura 9:33 ... who are supporting it. And it makes you go, like, "Oh," uh, like, it, it makes me realize how we're living in this shift right now in the entertainment business, where we've known that, like, creators can take control and create things. But now you realize that that paywall can be controlled by creators. And it's gonna, that's going to increase. That's here to stay. You know, like, when paywalls first started, you go like, "Oh, like, Netflix ..." Or you try to read an article sometimes, like, from one of the big publishers, right?

Joe Rogan 10:01 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 10:01 And you gotta, you gotta subscribe. That is going to be the norm across the board for entertainment, I think, for the next foreseeable future. And people are gonna be able to do things like we're doing and have way, like, way more control, do things like make features-

Joe Rogan 10:17 Hmm.

Tom Segura 10:17 ... make television shows.

Joe Rogan 10:18 Yeah.

Tom Segura 10:19 Like, what we're doing is, you know, we have this fan base that, that loves what we do, and we're just taking it on the live shows to another level. So, like, we spend money on production. We shoot original content. We hired, like, this crazy, the best makeup artist, did prosthetics and made Christina look like a, like a, like a real whore.

Joe Rogan 10:37 (laughs)

Tom Segura 10:37 And, uh, and it was great. And, um, and then we can do these uncensored clips, which you can't do on, really, any other platform.

Joe Rogan 10:44 Right.

Tom Segura 10:45 And we control it, and, and it's, it's c- you know, it's part of the ticket. It's like, we're gonna do XYZ, and we're gonna try to deliver on all these things. And we had, like, musical guests. You know, we've had, um, Marcus King Band was on the last one, and yeah, there's, that's ...

Joe Rogan 10:58 Who's that girl?

Tom Segura 10:59 That's Christina.

Joe Rogan 10:59 No. (laughs)

Tom Segura 11:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:01 Really?

Tom Segura 11:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:02 Come on.

Tom Segura 11:02 Yeah, man. In, like-

Joe Rogan 11:03 So, I saw that clip, and I didn't know that that was Christina.

Tom Segura 11:05 They put a prosthetic nose on her, lips on her.

Narrator 11:07 You wanna see how these big tits fart?

Joe Rogan 11:10 (laughs)

Narrator 11:10 Go ahead and watch YMHLive 4-

Tom Segura 11:12 That's her, man.

Narrator 11:12 ... now at livestream.ymhvideos.com.

Joe Rogan 11:14 That's crazy 'cause now-

Tom Segura 11:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:15 ... I get it, that it's her, but when I first saw it-

Tom Segura 11:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:18 ... I was like, "Who is that?"

Tom Segura 11:19 You know what somebody said to me this week? He's l- he, he's like, "Hey, who was that, um, hooker with you?"

Narrator 11:24 (laughs)

Tom Segura 11:24 And I was like, "It was Christina." And he was like, "Oh, I, I ... When I saw it, I was like, 'Oh, is Tom's wife cool with this?'"

Joe Rogan 11:29 (laughs)

Tom Segura 11:29 Like, "That you hang out with this chick?"

Joe Rogan 11:31 (laughs)

Tom Segura 11:31 And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, she's real cool with it."

Joe Rogan 11:33 So, all the, the, the tattoos on the fake tits and all that stuff-

Tom Segura 11:37 Everything.

Joe Rogan 11:37 ... is fake? It's all prosthetics?

Tom Segura 11:38 Everything. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:39 It looks so good.

Tom Segura 11:40 Uh, we got, like, one of the top, top makeup artists in Hollywood.

Joe Rogan 11:43 Wow.

Tom Segura 11:44 Yeah. That, that, and that's, like, part of, like, what we're doing with those is we go, like, we gotta make it ... You always have to raise-

Joe Rogan 11:49 Yeah.

Tom Segura 11:49 ... the bar and, like, make the value there, you know.

Joe Rogan 11:51 Now, when you plan these out, like, how long in advance? You do it, you're doing it basically once a month, right?

Tom Segura 11:56 Yeah, sometimes we t- like, we're doing, um, another one coming up, and then we'll take, like, a month or s- two down. Sometimes I go back and forth between Two Bears with Bert and YMH Live.

Joe Rogan 12:06 Oh, you do a live one of those too?

Tom Segura 12:08 Yeah, like the New Year's one, where we showed my fun accident.

Joe Rogan 12:11 Oh.

Tom Segura 12:11 Uh, that was a, that was a ticketed event. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:13 Yeah.

Tom Segura 12:13 Yeah, yeah. So, but, and w- and it was ... We shot that, we shot that-... for the New Year's live show.

Joe Rogan 12:19 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 12:19 So, the whole idea was we're gonna do, like, we alwa- Bert and I were into, like, competing, you know? We always, like, compete on things.

Joe Rogan 12:25 Right.

Tom Segura 12:25 So, that was the whole idea for that thing. And, like, just make, make it a bigger show than normal, you know? So, we brought in a, a animal person to put, like, snakes and spiders and shit on. You know what I mean? Like, just make it a more entertaining show.

Joe Rogan 12:39 Oh.

Tom Segura 12:39 And, and go harder on it, and go, go longer.

Joe Rogan 12:42 And so, when you plan out, you plan out the whole format?

Tom Segura 12:45 We plan out... Yeah. So, the latest one that we did was the, I think the tightest show that we've done, where we, you know, we go, "We're gonna do a solo segment. We're gonna shoot sketches. We're gonna have a musical guest. And then we end on what we call the heavy segment, which is shit that, like, the videos I text you and stuff." You know?

Joe Rogan 13:01 (laughs)

Tom Segura 13:01 (laughs) Things like that. And then we, we, we, you know, we try to push the envelope on those. But then what comes is, like, you know, when we first did that heavy segment, it was, like, all shit. Just, like, people shitting in each other's mouths.

Joe Rogan 13:13 (laughs)

Tom Segura 13:13 And then (laughs) you go, like, "Hey, you can't just keep shitting on people."

Joe Rogan 13:17 Right.

Tom Segura 13:17 So, you start looking for other crazy things. And, like-

Joe Rogan 13:20 And where are you getting these videos?

Tom Segura 13:22 Dude, like, one of my producers was like, "You know, I cried last night prepping these clips." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:26 (laughs) Where is he finding them?

Tom Segura 13:28 Uh, he looks and people... Like, the fans become, like, associate producers.

Joe Rogan 13:32 (laughs)

Tom Segura 13:32 I mean, our email inbox is pretty epic, man. You know?

Joe Rogan 13:36 Man.

Tom Segura 13:36 And it's pretty cra-... And then, like, I go, like, "I just don't wanna see, like, I don't wanna wa-... I don't wanna play murders and stuff." You know? 'Cause there's so many videos of that.

Joe Rogan 13:43 Right.

Tom Segura 13:43 And then my producer was like, "Oh, okay. That'll, that'll cross out a whole category of videos." I was like-

Joe Rogan 13:48 That many murders?

Tom Segura 13:49 ... "Yeah." People will send in, you know, just... 'Cause it's, it's the internet.

Joe Rogan 13:53 Right.

Tom Segura 13:53 So, they'll just send in the wildest shit, like, uh, yeah, some cartel guy getting cut up. I was like, "No, I don't want that. I don't want that on the show."

Joe Rogan 14:00 Dude.

Tom Segura 14:00 So, we just try to, like, push it. Like, there was a lady masturbating with a butcher knife, you know?

Narrator 14:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:04 What?

Tom Segura 14:05 Yeah.

Narrator 14:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:06 Why?

Tom Segura 14:06 It feels good. I don't know.

Narrator 14:08 (laughs)

Tom Segura 14:08 She was just doing it. So, we just showed that clip. But, like, that's-

Joe Rogan 14:11 How bloody was it?

Tom Segura 14:12 It wasn't bloody. She had built up some calluses, um-

Joe Rogan 14:14 What?

Tom Segura 14:15 I don't know. She was really good at it.

Joe Rogan 14:17 There was no blood?

Tom Segura 14:18 Mm-mm. No.

Joe Rogan 14:19 She had the knife in, or...

Tom Segura 14:21 Yeah, in.

Joe Rogan 14:21 In?

Tom Segura 14:22 Yeah.

Narrator 14:22 Sharp side up.

Joe Rogan 14:24 Was it?

Narrator 14:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:25 What?

Narrator 14:25 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 14:26 Oh, yeah, you saw it.

Narrator 14:27 I saw it.

Joe Rogan 14:27 So, was it cutting her?

Narrator 14:29 It should've been.

Tom Segura 14:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:30 So, was it dull?

Tom Segura 14:31 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 14:32 How do you know?

Narrator 14:33 I... Uh, just what it looked like. It didn't look like it was.

Tom Segura 14:35 Didn't look dull.

Narrator 14:35 It could've been a fake knife, but it didn't look like it was.

Tom Segura 14:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:38 Why?

Tom Segura 14:39 Yeah, that's... And that's... See, this is the reaction that, that people want, you know, when they're watching at home, because we also, um, encourage people to record themselves watching that segment.

Joe Rogan 14:48 (laughs)

Tom Segura 14:49 And then they send it in and we share those, which is really funny.

Joe Rogan 14:50 Like the old Two Girls One Cup?

Tom Segura 14:52 Yeah, yeah. Like, reaction vids, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:54 Yeah. That was a big one. The Two Girls One Cup was, like-

Tom Segura 14:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:56 That was where all that stuff came from.

Tom Segura 14:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:58 And then there's one with me and Red Band where we watch the BME Pain Olympics.

Tom Segura 15:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:01 You ever seen that one?

Tom Segura 15:03 Uh, I've heard that... Yeah. That was, um, was that early 2000s?

Joe Rogan 15:07 Yeah.

Tom Segura 15:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:07 It's all, like, dudes cutting their balls off.

Tom Segura 15:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:10 And opening their sack up and pulling their nuts out.

Tom Segura 15:12 There was, there was something like that.

Narrator 15:13 A challenge for you and Bert.

Tom Segura 15:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:14 Cutting the tips of their fingers off.

Tom Segura 15:16 This dude had, like, split the tip of his dick in half-

Joe Rogan 15:19 (laughs)

Tom Segura 15:19 ... and had, like, a bar in there and, like, rope wrapped around. It was rough, man. But this guy operating on his eye, um, himself.

Joe Rogan 15:28 Yeah. Why?

Tom Segura 15:29 Uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:30 What he doing?

Tom Segura 15:31 I don't know, man.

Joe Rogan 15:32 Why did he do that? Did he have other options, or-

Tom Segura 15:34 He was speaking in Russian the whole time.

Joe Rogan 15:35 Oh.

Tom Segura 15:35 So... But he was, like, he was so calm. And was, like, you know, just injecting in his eye.

Joe Rogan 15:40 Maybe if my friend Lex could translate it.

Tom Segura 15:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:43 He can find out.

Tom Segura 15:43 I'm sure he could.

Joe Rogan 15:43 Yeah, find out.

Tom Segura 15:44 And this dude was, like, dirty hands.

Joe Rogan 15:46 Ugh.

Tom Segura 15:47 And just, like, putting pliers and shit in his eye.

Joe Rogan 15:50 Ugh. That makes me so uncomfortable.

Tom Segura 15:51 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:52 There's so many of those videos that... But I don't, I don't, like, pursue those anymore.

Tom Segura 15:56 Mm.

Joe Rogan 15:57 The only way those stumble across me is, like, when I talk to you.

Tom Segura 16:00 Well, you know, I only sent, like... When we get ready for a show, you ask me, like, how... We prep for, like, over a month to do one of these. And when, for those crazy clips, I ask them not to show me, like, in detail all... Like, sometimes they'll show me a few frames or what, what's kinda happening. 'Cause I wanna be able to react to it-

Joe Rogan 16:17 Right, of course.

Tom Segura 16:17 ... you know, first time on camera. And then afterwards, if something was really crazy, I'll be like, "Give me that so that I can send it to people."

Joe Rogan 16:26 (laughs)

Tom Segura 16:27 And upset them.

Joe Rogan 16:29 So, when you decided to start doing this, like, what was the initial plan? Like, where, where did it come from?

Tom Segura 16:34 The, the plan came from the fact that... I mean, honestly, it, it really happened a total accident. It was... We were... It's during the pandemic and, you know, touring stopped, which, like you were saying, you know, it affected us all differently. I was bummed out by that, you know?

Joe Rogan 16:47 Yeah.

Tom Segura 16:47 You forget, like, how much you are used to doing standup all the time. It's just like going to the gym or ju-... You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 16:54 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 16:54 Like, it's like getting up and getting breakfast. Like, it's so n-... It's so-

Joe Rogan 16:57 Right.

Tom Segura 16:57 ... required part of your day almost, right? And so, it'd been a few months and, and the idea came... My agent called me and he goes, "Would you do a t-"... 'Cause, you know, people were doing live or, or streaming ticketed standup shows.

Joe Rogan 17:10 Yeah.

Tom Segura 17:10 And I was like, "Fuck that. I'm not doing that." I just was completely opposed to it.

Joe Rogan 17:14 Yeah, I saw people that were good comics that did that.

Tom Segura 17:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:16 And it was terrible.

Tom Segura 17:17 And I was like, "Nah." I mean, you couldn't even... You couldn't talk me into it. I was like, "There's no way I'm doing that, man."

Joe Rogan 17:21 Yeah.

Tom Segura 17:22 Standing in the fucking closet like, "How's everybody doing tonight?" No, I'm not doing that.

Joe Rogan 17:26 (laughs)

Tom Segura 17:26 So, get outta here, man. So, I was like, "I'm definitely not doing that." And he goes, "What if you did the podcast?" And I go, "Okay." And I was thinking about we've done live podcasts, in other words, at a venue, right? And I was like, "Yeah, but that has the element of the audience." So, what could we do, basically, to make it... What justifies a ticket?

Joe Rogan 17:46 Right.

Tom Segura 17:46 So then that's... This is how, like, the things came about. And the first thing we thought of is that... You know, we do a cl-... We, we do a clip show every week where we play audio/video clips. And you go, "But we have restrictions." Like, there's... Sometimes we play a video that we see in our studio, but we can't show you, like, on YouTube.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Right.

Tom Segura 18:03 Right? So, the whole thing was like, oh, we could find one of these, uh, platforms that'll let us do uncensored clips. So, that was just, like, the first thing. And we go, "Okay, we could do uncensored clips. That'd be really fun to be able to actually show them." And then the idea came, "Well, we should, we should do sketches. Like, we should do stuff to raise the value of the whole ticket." And so it just kinda built like that.

Joe Rogan 18:21 And so now you guys actually sit down, you have meetings-

Tom Segura 18:25 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:25 ... you produce it. It's like-

Tom Segura 18:25 I had to hire more producers, digital-

Joe Rogan 18:28 Wow.

Tom Segura 18:28 ... content guys, a development guy. Like, yeah. And, and the goal is that we're, you know, we are gearing towards shooting, like, a feature.

Joe Rogan 18:35 Wow.

Tom Segura 18:35 Because... And, and it'll basically, it'll be funded by fans. You know?

Joe Rogan 18:41 And when you have this feature, will you release it on this platform-

Tom Segura 18:45 I think the-

Joe Rogan 18:45 ... the same way?

Tom Segura 18:46 ... I think the, the idea would be to release it on the platform first, and then since we'll own it, you know, we could then license it or distribute it through a bigger company to a larger platform.

Joe Rogan 18:55 Did you have to worry about... With that, did you have to worry about content? 'Cause, you know-

Tom Segura 19:00 Well-

Joe Rogan 19:00 ... you couldn't show those kind of crazy videos.

Tom Segura 19:01 No, no, no. But for the feature, it wouldn't be like that. I mean, the, the thing that we're writing is, it is pretty crazy but it's not, it's not showing, like, wild internet shit. You know?

Joe Rogan 19:11 Right.

Tom Segura 19:11 It's, it's all... It's, you know, it's scripted, so we're shooting it ourselves. So it, like... Think of it as, you know, like, you go to a, the movie, you see a Tarantino movie, you see wild violence, you could still show it, right?

Joe Rogan 19:21 Right.

Tom Segura 19:21 'Cause it's a movie. But, but it would be, you know, more along those lines, where it's, it's scripted and it's shot that way, but we're not showing real crazy shit happen.

Joe Rogan 19:28 So you'll show some wild shit, but it'll be fake.

Tom Segura 19:31 This, I'll tell you what, what I wrote, these two things that we're gonna shoot that are pretty fucking in- insane, and that, uh, I already had a casting director go, "I can't send this to an actor." So... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:41 (laughs)

Tom Segura 19:42 So (laughs) yeah, yeah. But it's-

Joe Rogan 19:45 Wow.

Tom Segura 19:45 But I mean, it's fun. It's fun that we can... Just that the opportunity exists, you know?

Joe Rogan 19:49 Yeah.

Tom Segura 19:50 So...

Joe Rogan 19:50 When are you gonna do that, you think?

Tom Segura 19:51 Well, I mean, there's so much going on, but I'd, I'd love to get the ball rolling over the summer, you know?

Joe Rogan 19:57 Dude, that's awesome.

Tom Segura 19:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:58 I love it. I love when people take these weird moments where you don't know what to do and you figure it out.

Tom Segura 20:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:03 And you find some new path-

Tom Segura 20:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:05 ... you find some new things, some... You adjust and adapt.

Tom Segura 20:08 Mm-hmm. It's, it's the coolest thing that's come over the la-... I mean, that for us has been the thing. I was the biggest fan of seeing... I knew this was gonna happen, and I, I think I was drawn to it because... You want that?

Joe Rogan 20:20 No, I'll drink this shit.

Tom Segura 20:21 I w- I knew it was gonna happen because I go like, "This is what I would do too." And that was the, all these comics that did their own specials and released them.

Joe Rogan 20:29 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 20:29 I was like, "Oh, this is, this is the smartest thing they can do."

Joe Rogan 20:33 Yeah, especially if you put it on YouTube, so many people could see it.

Tom Segura 20:35 Yeah, and, like-

Joe Rogan 20:36 And you don't have to worry about being censored.

Tom Segura 20:38 Yeah. I loved when I started seeing that more. Like, you know, you saw, like, Schulz did it and Mark Normand-

Joe Rogan 20:42 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 20:43 ... Giannis. Like, all those guys-

Joe Rogan 20:44 Yeah.

Tom Segura 20:45 ... putting the special out. And you see the view counts go crazy, and then they're, they're bas- they're just releasing their own special.

Joe Rogan 20:50 Yeah. It's a real smart way to do it.

Tom Segura 20:52 Really smart way to do it.

Joe Rogan 20:53 Yeah.

Tom Segura 20:53 And this is just further along... Now you're, you're controlling the content and, like I said, like, you're in control of the, the pay wall, which is something that really didn't exist before. The, the, the content create- You know what I mean? Like, you... I think you're gonna see that explode to the point where in the next few years people will be choosing, like... 'Cause y- you see everyone jumping into streaming, right? It's like-

Joe Rogan 21:15 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 21:16 ... Netflix and there was Hulu and Prime and now there's Paramount and Warner. I mean, that's just gonna keep growing, man.

Joe Rogan 21:21 Yup.

Tom Segura 21:21 So it's gonna be like people are gonna be choosing where to spend their money on that, the same way when cable, when we only had cable and you could choose, like, are you a basic cable person? Do you have the next tier? Do you have the premium stuff? It's, it's gonna be the exact same thing, but selective. And then you're gonna see bundles. I'm sure you'll see bundles where some of these companies will pair together. "Well, if you sign up for this thing, you can get these three bundles together."

Joe Rogan 21:43 Right.

Tom Segura 21:43 It's just, that's how entertainment's gonna go, at least for the foreseeable future.

Joe Rogan 21:46 And then there's gonna be independent creators like yourself-

Tom Segura 21:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 21:49 ... that just have your own little website and you just-

Tom Segura 21:50 Yup.

Joe Rogan 21:51 All of it gets done through you, so you're not splitting it with anybody.

Tom Segura 21:53 That's true. And, and I think there's gonna be a lot more of us, and then you'll have... You know, you'll sa- you'll see consumers go, "Well, I'm definitely gonna have my Netflix and my Hulu," and you go, "Great." But then there's gonna be people who go like, "No, I, I prefer YMH and this other sports thing, and that's where I spend my money."

Joe Rogan 22:10 Yeah.

Tom Segura 22:10 And, and, you know, or people that have all of them. But it, it's definitely gonna be... That's gonna grow, man.

Joe Rogan 22:15 Well, I keep hearing this rumor that Apple's gonna try to do that with podcasts. They're gonna try to have some sort of a streaming service.

Tom Segura 22:19 I heard that too. I don't know if that's true though.

Joe Rogan 22:22 Yeah, I don't know if it's true either, but it... But here's what would be interesting, if they decide... And I think this is also a rumor, that they were going to make it so that downloads only count if you specifically download it, not if you subscribe.

Tom Segura 22:39 Oh.

Joe Rogan 22:40 Yeah.

Tom Segura 22:40 That'll affect some numbers.

Joe Rogan 22:41 That'll change everything 'cause there is maybe 20 podcasts that I subscribe to that I never listen to.

Tom Segura 22:48 Yeah, same.

Joe Rogan 22:49 Right?

Tom Segura 22:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:49 So they're getting downloaded into your phone and they count as a st- as a download, but I don't listen to them.

Tom Segura 22:54 And so in that case, would that... That wouldn't be a download because you didn't...

Joe Rogan 22:57 Wouldn't be a download.

Tom Segura 22:58 Wow.

Joe Rogan 22:58 So you'd have to actively download it.

Tom Segura 23:00 Wow.

Joe Rogan 23:01 So you'd have to go to it and purposely say, "Oh, the new," you know, whatever. Two Bears, One Cave.

Tom Segura 23:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:08 Click.

Tom Segura 23:09 Wow.

Joe Rogan 23:09 You have to do that, which-

Tom Segura 23:09 That'll definitely affect things.

Joe Rogan 23:10 People are terrified of that.

Tom Segura 23:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:12 Terrified.

Tom Segura 23:13 And they're, they're saying they're gonna do that?

Joe Rogan 23:14 Yes. Very different.

Tom Segura 23:15 That'll change everyone's ad sales, for sure.

Joe Rogan 23:17 Oh, my God. In a huge way.

Tom Segura 23:18 Huge way.

Joe Rogan 23:18 A huge way.

Tom Segura 23:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:19 And, um, so like at Spotify we, we get it by streams, so I know exactly how many people stream things, which is different-

Tom Segura 23:28 It is.

Joe Rogan 23:28 ... to me. But it doesn't show anywhere.

Tom Segura 23:30 So you don't-

Joe Rogan 23:30 Which is weird too.

Tom Segura 23:30 But you don't get... There's no download, right? Or there is there?

Joe Rogan 23:32 Well, I think you can download it and save it.

Tom Segura 23:34 Maybe.

Joe Rogan 23:34 Yeah, yeah. But it's-

Tom Segura 23:36 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 23:36 It's about h- Yeah, e- 'cause you do this a lot on a plane.

Tom Segura 23:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:39 It's about how many people are actually listening-

Tom Segura 23:42 Yeah, because that number is-

Joe Rogan 23:43 ... versus subscribed.

Tom Segura 23:43 ... different, like you said, from subscribing to actual subscribers.

Joe Rogan 23:45 Yeah. It's a big difference.

Tom Segura 23:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:46 It's weird, you know, because you gotta think of how many people have these inflated, crazy inflated numbers.

Tom Segura 23:51 That might be like a 50% difference.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Yeah. Well, there was an issue, uh, when podcasts first started coming along where someone would download a podcast or they'd start listening to it and then they'd shut it off and start listening to it again and it would count as a second download.

Tom Segura 24:06 Dude.

Joe Rogan 24:06 And they were doing it three, four, five times.

Tom Segura 24:08 I remember that, um, that big shift that everybody-

Joe Rogan 24:11 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 24:11 ... who podcasts know about.

Joe Rogan 24:12 Yup.

Tom Segura 24:13 Um, when you saw numbers go like in, like, a fifth of what they were for like a month.

Joe Rogan 24:17 Yeah, they, they thought they had some crazy, you know-

Tom Segura 24:20 What?

Joe Rogan 24:20 ... huge successful show.

Tom Segura 24:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:21 And then it got adjusted and it's like, "Ooh."

Tom Segura 24:24 You know how I, how I knew it was bullshit? I didn't know know for sure. Talking to ad agents.... like, our ad agents.

Joe Rogan 24:29 Oh, really?

Tom Segura 24:30 Yeah. I was like, "Yeah, this, uh, these numbers are this." And they were like, "Okay." Like, the s- just the... I was like, "Oh, I can just tell by your voice that something's off." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 24:38 Yeah.

Tom Segura 24:39 Like, I was like, "What's wrong?" And they're like, "Just, you know, that just doesn't seem right." And they were li-... And then they were telling me, like, "And all these other people are saying these things, and it doesn't seem right either." They're like... And they said, "Because we know what that looks like when that's a real number." Uh...

Joe Rogan 24:52 In terms of, like, the impact of the ads and stuff like that?

Tom Segura 24:55 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 24:56 Yeah.

Tom Segura 24:56 And they were like, so they were like, it... They weren't blaming the podcasters. They were like, "The- this system is not right-"

Joe Rogan 25:03 Yeah.

Tom Segura 25:04 ... because you guys are... you... I mean, we're, we're reading from the computer. Like, this is what it says, you know? And they were like, "Yeah, that's, that's not right." And then they over-corrected that, big time, for like a month period where everyone was like... I guess my whole audience went away.

Joe Rogan 25:16 (laughs)

Tom Segura 25:17 Like, 'cause it just went completely down. And then it kind of balanced out.

Joe Rogan 25:20 The most fucked up number is the amount of actual podcasts now. That's the most fucked up number-

Tom Segura 25:25 Ah, it's got to be.

Joe Rogan 25:25 ... 'cause it's more than a million.

Tom Segura 25:27 Really?

Joe Rogan 25:28 Yeah, it's more than a million podcasts. So obviously, we're dealing with the, the entire world.

Tom Segura 25:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:32 But I think it's more than a million just English-speaking-

Tom Segura 25:36 That makes sense.

Joe Rogan 25:37 ... I'm pretty sure. So which is, in America, you know, one out of every 320 people have a podcast? Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 25:42 That's pretty crazy.

Joe Rogan 25:44 (laughs)

Tom Segura 25:44 That's pretty crazy.

Joe Rogan 25:44 Uh, this research, podcasthosting.org, as of April 2021, there are 1.9 million podcasts.

Tom Segura 25:51 Oh, my God, it went up?

Joe Rogan 25:53 Doubled.

Tom Segura 25:54 It doubled?

Joe Rogan 25:54 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 25:55 That's so many.

Joe Rogan 25:55 What the f-... Dude, it was like a million four months ago. It says there's over 47 million episodes to choose from.

Tom Segura 26:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:03 (laughs)

Tom Segura 26:03 So when people tell me they're gonna start a podcast-

Joe Rogan 26:05 Yeah.

Tom Segura 26:06 ... today-

Joe Rogan 26:06 Yeah.

Tom Segura 26:06 ... I'm like, "Uh, maybe." Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:08 Yeah.

Tom Segura 26:08 Maybe, I mean-

Joe Rogan 26:09 Try it. Why not?

Tom Segura 26:10 I still think-

Joe Rogan 26:10 All right.

Tom Segura 26:10 ... because people ask me sometimes and, I mean, I, I might be wrong about this, but I still think that, like, well, what's, like, what is the angle? 'Cause if it's just sitting around and shooting the shit, you, you could... That could work. I'm not saying it can't. But it's... There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that.

Joe Rogan 26:26 There's a lot of that.

Tom Segura 26:27 So it's like, you know, you, you start... If you're studying it, you go, "Well, you know, like, my favorite murder," like, that's an angle, right? It's like a specific... And that, that-

Joe Rogan 26:36 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 26:36 That's what I kind of think, like, for somebody who's starting new. I'm like, "Pick something," you know? Like, pick a world or something and... Or, like, just some target way of doing it, so that it's unique. 'Cause if you're just like, "Well, it's me and my friend, Kevin, we just click."

Joe Rogan 26:48 Pfft. Okay.

Tom Segura 26:49 All right.

Joe Rogan 26:50 Me and Kevin just-

Tom Segura 26:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:51 ... chilling, you know?

Tom Segura 26:51 The, the number of s- podcasts with substantial followings, though, still remains, like, pretty small.

Joe Rogan 26:57 Yeah. I wonder what that number is.

Tom Segura 26:59 It's gotta be... I mean, it's gotta be pretty small, man.

Joe Rogan 27:02 Well, there's so many people that only do it occasionally, too.

Tom Segura 27:05 Yeah, that's a problem for them.

Joe Rogan 27:06 Yeah.

Tom Segura 27:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:07 I always tell that to comics. I'm like-

Tom Segura 27:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:08 ... "Why not do it all the time?" And they're like, "Oh, I'm busy."

Tom Segura 27:11 Yeah. Are you?

Joe Rogan 27:13 Yeah.

Tom Segura 27:13 How busy are you, man?

Joe Rogan 27:14 How busy are you?

Tom Segura 27:15 What are you doing?

Joe Rogan 27:15 Yeah.

Tom Segura 27:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:17 Yeah.

Tom Segura 27:17 No, you can make time.

Joe Rogan 27:17 Well, there's only a few people that do it like you or like I do or like a f-

Tom Segura 27:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:21 Or you just really just do it all the time. You gotta treat it like it's a job.

Tom Segura 27:24 It i-

Joe Rogan 27:24 It really is a job.

Tom Segura 27:25 It is a job.

Joe Rogan 27:26 Yeah.

Tom Segura 27:26 At this... I mean, you know, it's a fun job.

Joe Rogan 27:27 Yeah.

Tom Segura 27:28 I love doing it, but...

Joe Rogan 27:29 But this is the thing we were talking about earlier, like, uh, that when I started, uh, I experienced as well, when I w- got a studio, an actual studio. Where people were like, "Why are you doing this?"

Tom Segura 27:38 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, "Um..."

Joe Rogan 27:41 "'Cause I have a million downloads an episode."

Tom Segura 27:43 Yeah, right. Right.

Joe Rogan 27:44 So like if you had a show that had a million views-

Tom Segura 27:47 Yeah. You gonna sit in your car and do it?

Joe Rogan 27:48 Yeah, so when I started-

Tom Segura 27:49 No.

Joe Rogan 27:49 ... doing that and I was like, "'Cause there's a lot of people listening," like-

Tom Segura 27:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:52 ... "How many?" And you would tell people, they're like, "Wait, what?"

Tom Segura 27:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:55 And that's when, like, when people started finding out the numbers of people that were actually listening to the podcast, that's when it started getting weird.

Tom Segura 28:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:02 People be like, "How many nu- how many downloads you have?"

Tom Segura 28:04 I know, 'cause they... You know, a lot of people, they just obviously will see, like, a YouTube view count.

Joe Rogan 28:09 Yeah.

Tom Segura 28:09 And you're like, "Yeah, yeah, that's who's watching, man."

Joe Rogan 28:11 Yeah.

Tom Segura 28:11 There's a whole other segment of this audience that just listens.

Joe Rogan 28:14 Yeah.

Tom Segura 28:15 Substantial number of people.

Joe Rogan 28:16 Yeah, giant amount of people that just-

Tom Segura 28:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:17 ... listen in their cars and shit.

Tom Segura 28:18 Yeah, of course.

Joe Rogan 28:19 Yeah. I wonder what the next thing is gonna be 'cause if it's not just doing what we're doing, just sitting around shooting the shit-

Tom Segura 28:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:24 ... like, what is it gonna be?

Tom Segura 28:26 That's a good quest-... I mean, it really is... There are end-... The thing is that, that I love about, like, what we're doing with the streaming thing and, and all this is that you... What you can do now is just whatever you can imagine.

Joe Rogan 28:37 Yeah.

Tom Segura 28:38 There, there, there are no limitations.

Joe Rogan 28:40 Yeah.

Tom Segura 28:40 You really can just make any kind of fucking show you want and you don't have to a-... Like, we all just used to go, like, "Will... Do you grant me permission?"

Joe Rogan 28:48 Yep.

Tom Segura 28:48 That was what it's like to be an entertainer.

Joe Rogan 28:50 And you had to talk to these people that were, like, so arrogant.

Tom Segura 28:54 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 28:54 And they all knew what was funny and what was good and how to do it.

Tom Segura 28:57 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 28:57 And they would tell you how to do it differently and you'd be like, "Ugh."

Tom Segura 29:00 Do you remember... Do you ha- do you remember the last time or d- did you pitch shows? Have you gone in on pitches and stuff?

Joe Rogan 29:06 Yes.

Tom Segura 29:06 It's-

Joe Rogan 29:06 It's been a long time-

Tom Segura 29:07 ... a harrowing-

Joe Rogan 29:08 ... but I, I have.

Tom Segura 29:08 ... daunting experience. I mean-

Joe Rogan 29:09 They're just so condescending and so weird.

Tom Segura 29:12 I did one a couple years ago with like a great group of people pitching with me, like writers and, you know, producers, where the executive did that... Like, rested his hand on his face for the whole, for the whole thing. And I was like, "This is who I'm..." Like, you know what I mean? Like, gave you nothing for the pitch. And I was like-

Joe Rogan 29:31 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 29:31 I go, "I don't want to end up with this guy. I hope we don't end up with him."

Joe Rogan 29:34 Yeah.

Tom Segura 29:35 It's just, like, that's the person-

Joe Rogan 29:36 Imagine him on, on the set-

Tom Segura 29:36 ... that's the person... Oh my god.

Joe Rogan 29:38 ... on the set like this while you're... when you hit your punchlines? Like...

Tom Segura 29:41 Hmm. And that guy gives notes. That's my favorite, you know? We had notes for this last, uh, pilot we did where I was like, "This is the single worst note."

Joe Rogan 29:51 What was the note?

Tom Segura 29:51 I mean, they're t-... They killed all the comedy and they killed the logic, you know? Like, the logic of a scene, like... There was something about a watch, I remember, that they were like, "Well, who would have, like, a nice watch?" I'm like, "A lot of people. Have y- do you not... Have you not seen watches before?" Like, they're, they were like, "Yeah, but that's too nice of a watch, like, for the thing." And I was like, "Why is it... What are you talking about?" Like, that was the conversation. I was like, "No." So I kept leaving it in drafts, you know? And they were like... They would say, "Di- aren't you supposed to take that out?" And I was like, "I'm not taking it out."... people have watches. What are we, what are we talking about? It was a contr-

Joe Rogan 30:21 So they wanted you to take a scene out because someone had a watch that was nice?

Tom Segura 30:25 And they were like, and, and they were like, "It's too nice of a watch." And I was like, "No, it's not." And they were like, "Yeah, the, people won't relate to it." I'm like, "What are you talking about? There's a whole fucking nice watch industry." A lot of... People know that there are nice watch... And they were just like... But it was like, that was their contribu- it wasn't even... You know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 30:41 Right.

Tom Segura 30:41 ... that was the contribution from the executive.

Joe Rogan 30:43 Well, there's a thing about a lot of-

Tom Segura 30:44 I was like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 30:44 ... the sitcoms where they're always trying to bring it down to the everyman level.

Tom Segura 30:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:48 Like, dumb it down or-

Tom Segura 30:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:50 ... slow it down, make... "The kitchen's a little too nice."

Tom Segura 30:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:52 "So, make the kitchen a little smaller."

Tom Segura 30:53 "A little, a little shittier," like, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:55 Yeah, yeah.

Tom Segura 30:55 And I was like...

Joe Rogan 30:55 Like, "Let's King of Queens it a little bit."

Tom Segura 30:57 And I wasn't, it wasn't like some fucking, you know, $100,000... It was just, like, a nice watch. And they were like, "Nah, no, it's gotta be, like, $50 watch." And I was like, "No, no, (laughs) no. No, I disagree." And they're like, "Mm..." And they're like... And then, and then I'm like, "This is what you get paid for?"

Joe Rogan 31:14 Right.

Tom Segura 31:14 "To s- to tell me this? That's amazing, man."

Joe Rogan 31:16 Those kind of conversations are so frustrating.

Tom Segura 31:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:19 It's just un... But it's only necessary if you need someone to take your thing and then put it on their network.

Tom Segura 31:24 Yes.

Joe Rogan 31:24 Right?

Tom Segura 31:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:25 And when they do that, they're gonna fuck it up anyway because there's gonna be a bunch of commercials in between it. You only gotta have seven-minute segments, and then you're gonna cut to several minutes of commercials, and then come back.

Tom Segura 31:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:33 That's why, you know, you have a 30-minute show. Only 22 of it is actual show.

Tom Segura 31:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:39 Eight minutes is just commercials.

Tom Segura 31:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:41 For a half-hour show.

Tom Segura 31:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:42 Which is nuts.

Tom Segura 31:44 Yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 31:44 44 minutes for an hour.

Tom Segura 31:47 Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's a lot of-

Joe Rogan 31:49 It's a lot of commercials.

Tom Segura 31:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:51 And that's the average. And then they have to water down whatever you're doing, so that the advertisers are cool with it.

Tom Segura 31:57 Bro, the... (sighs) Man, I, I just... Now that we do what we do, it's like the idea of-

Joe Rogan 32:02 Going back?

Tom Segura 32:03 ... going there and especially, like, that type of thing, like, if (coughing) sitcom notes, like real network sitcom notes, I'd be like, "I'll, I'd jump off this bridge right now, man."

Joe Rogan 32:11 Yeah, no.

Tom Segura 32:12 Can't do it.

Joe Rogan 32:13 I can't.

Tom Segura 32:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:14 I can't do it either. I've, I've been offered things, and I just, I say, uh, that those days are gone. I can't do that anymore.

Tom Segura 32:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:20 Plus, it's like, you can't do everything. You know, you, you just, you can't. You can't do everything.

Tom Segura 32:25 No.

Joe Rogan 32:25 There's gotta be a time where you go, "I, I need to, like, just concentrate on what I'm doing."

Tom Segura 32:31 I think that's when things thrive the most.

Joe Rogan 32:33 Yeah.

Tom Segura 32:33 When you focus on the-

Joe Rogan 32:35 For sure.

Tom Segura 32:35 ... few things that you really like.

Joe Rogan 32:37 I feel like the good thing about podcasts is I can do that and still do stand-up, like, no problem at all.

Tom Segura 32:41 Yes.

Joe Rogan 32:41 Like, doing the two of them is no problem at all because podcasts... And in fact, I think it stimulates your brain-

Tom Segura 32:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:46 ... 'cause you're having interesting conversations with really smart people-

Tom Segura 32:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:49 ... or funny idiots, you know? (laughs)

Tom Segura 32:52 Yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:54 Or both, you-

Tom Segura 32:54 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:55 And, and you, you know, you, you do something. It's something... It's exciting. It's like, it's, it stimulates your brain.

Tom Segura 33:01 It does.

Joe Rogan 33:01 It makes you think about stuff. And then y- it doesn't take away from your time to do standup.

Tom Segura 33:06 It doesn't.

Joe Rogan 33:06 But a sitcom does.

Tom Segura 33:07 It absolutely d- I mean, it's the perfect... Um, like, if you're a comedian, and you're living right now, and you get to do what we do, like podcasts-

Joe Rogan 33:15 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 33:15 ... and standup, I mean, it is a dream.

Joe Rogan 33:17 Yeah.

Tom Segura 33:18 It's the most awesome gig you could have. I couldn't imagine a bigger, better gig.

Joe Rogan 33:21 No, it's an awesome gig, but, I mean, how many fucking guys didn't have one into, coming into the pandemic? And then all of a sudden, their revenue was just... (snaps fingers)

Tom Segura 33:28 That was scary, man. That was scary. Like, honestly, I mean, I, I really counted my blessings, you know, that, that we had the podcast and, and... Because, you know, we're touring comics.

Joe Rogan 33:43 Yeah.

Tom Segura 33:43 So you go like, "That's m- that's my job, man." So-

Joe Rogan 33:45 Did you guys start testing guests? Did you, did you do that kind of thing?

Tom Segura 33:49 Um, no, we, we stopped having guests for a while, you know? And also, people didn't, like, they didn't wanna come in. I didn't pressure anyone to come in, and some people wanted to Zoom, and I was like, "I think the Zooming thing works for, like, a one-on-one conversation." Like, this could work on... You know, it's better in person, but it can work on Zoom. But for, like, like, your mom's house or something, I was like, "Yeah, I don't wanna have someone Zooming in to be a guest." Like, it just doesn't, it doesn't work for me, you know?

Joe Rogan 34:13 Yeah.

Tom Segura 34:14 'Cause then, like, they're there, and we're showing 'em something, and like-

Joe Rogan 34:16 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 34:16 ... it, it just doesn't... So, it was fun. Like, doing the, doing it with no... We did it with no guests for two years one time, 'cause we didn't-

Joe Rogan 34:21 Really?

Tom Segura 34:22 ... we didn't wanna have guests.

Joe Rogan 34:23 For two whole years?

Tom Segura 34:24 Yeah, because the show was start- was growing, and I had this, uh, this thought where I g- I was, I was like, "You know, if we can build a fan base that comes not for the guest, isn't guest reliant-"

Joe Rogan 34:34 Mm.

Tom Segura 34:35 "... that'd be a great thing."

Joe Rogan 34:36 Yeah.

Tom Segura 34:36 Where they're just coming for the show, and they're-

Joe Rogan 34:39 No, that's Bill Burr.

Tom Segura 34:39 Yep.

Joe Rogan 34:39 Bill Burr's-

Tom Segura 34:40 Solo, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:41 ... show is almost entirely solo.

Tom Segura 34:43 Monday Morning Podcast.

Joe Rogan 34:44 Yeah.

Tom Segura 34:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:44 And Tim Dillon, same thing.

Tom Segura 34:45 Yeah, but those two guys can really fucking talk by themselves, like-

Joe Rogan 34:48 Tim Dillon's the, the greatest-

Tom Segura 34:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:50 ... at that.

Tom Segura 34:50 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:50 And he's a-

Tom Segura 34:51 That's a skill set.

Joe Rogan 34:51 Yeah.

Tom Segura 34:51 That is a skill set.

Joe Rogan 34:52 Yeah.

Tom Segura 34:52 I tried that once, and then I was like, "That's not me. I can't do that."

Joe Rogan 34:55 Well, Tim has Ben, his producer.

Tom Segura 34:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:57 And so he does all this... Yeah.

Tom Segura 34:58 Bounce things off of him, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:00 And he's always crying, laughing, and you know-

Tom Segura 35:02 Yeah, that helps.

Joe Rogan 35:02 Yeah.

Tom Segura 35:02 But Bill can just sit there and-

Joe Rogan 35:04 Rant.

Tom Segura 35:05 ... rant.

Joe Rogan 35:05 Yeah.

Tom Segura 35:05 And it works. I mean, it really works.

Joe Rogan 35:07 I'm just... One of the best podcasts. I mean, it's a top 10 podcast.

Tom Segura 35:09 Yeah. Yeah. No, it's great, man.

Joe Rogan 35:11 But he's, he's free though. He can record it in his underwear in a hotel room-

Tom Segura 35:15 He's so good though.

Joe Rogan 35:15 ... somewhere.

Tom Segura 35:15 He can just-

Joe Rogan 35:16 Yeah.

Tom Segura 35:17 He can just, uh, just go up there. Like, I mean, that's when I realized, like, how good he is. It's, it's not like what most people see, where most people go like, "Oh yeah, 'cause I've seen his specials, and he's great." And you're like, "Yeah, no, I know that." But that's not why, um, he's holy shit level great. It's because he can do, like, you know, a five-minute monologue amazing, you know? He can do... I've sat with him on a panel in front of, like, a cr- And he's just talking, and it sounds like bits, but they're not.

Joe Rogan 35:45 Right, right.

Tom Segura 35:46 He's, he's, like, just talking. I remember I, I was, had Al Madrigal to my left, and I was like, "What in the fuck? Is this material?" And he goes, "No, he just talks in bit."

Joe Rogan 35:55 (laughs)

Tom Segura 35:55 Like, he can just-

Joe Rogan 35:56 Well, and his... That muscle-

Tom Segura 35:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:57 ... is so strong-

Tom Segura 35:58 So strong for him.

Joe Rogan 35:58 ... from doing that podcast that way.

Tom Segura 36:00 Yeah, yes. Exactly.

Joe Rogan 36:01 Yeah.

Tom Segura 36:02 So, he... Yeah, and it's... And like your point, it translate... His pod translates to the stage.

Joe Rogan 36:06 Oh yeah, 100%.

Tom Segura 36:07 'Cause, you know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 36:08 His is better than anybody's.

Tom Segura 36:09 Yes.

Joe Rogan 36:09 'Cause he has ideas that he, he fleshes out on the podcast.

Tom Segura 36:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:12 And then, "What the fuck is this?" And then the next thing you know, it's on stage, and it's polished, and he shortens it up and tightens it up-

Tom Segura 36:19 Mm-hmm, perfect.

Joe Rogan 36:19 ... and adds to it, yeah.

Tom Segura 36:20 It's like it's his, uh, Farm League-

Joe Rogan 36:22 (laughs)

Tom Segura 36:22 ... for his standup, you know?

Joe Rogan 36:23 Yeah, it is. Well, that's what Stanhope said he was doing with his podcast. He was using it like an open mic.... and he was fleshing out ideas on-

Tom Segura 36:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:30 ... on his pod-, 'cause stand-up lives in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Tom Segura 36:33 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:33 Bisbee, Arizona.

Tom Segura 36:34 Yeah, it's crazy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:35 Did you ever visit him out there?

Tom Segura 36:36 No, no.

Joe Rogan 36:37 Me neither.

Tom Segura 36:37 No. I heard-

Joe Rogan 36:38 Bert has.

Tom Segura 36:39 ... that. Bert's been out there, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:40 Yeah. Morgan's been out there.

Tom Segura 36:41 Anywhere there's, anywhere there's a party, Bert's been, so...

Joe Rogan 36:43 Yeah.

Tom Segura 36:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:44 That's his kinda party.

Tom Segura 36:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:46 Everybody's always hammered.

Tom Segura 36:48 No, it's, yeah, it's idea-, I mean, he had, and I've also, like, I've seen Bill backstage and he's like, "Is this funny?" And like, this, it's like this, the, an idea, and then he goes out there and you're like, "Have you been doing that for six months?" He's like, "No, just tonight."

Joe Rogan 36:59 (laughs)

Tom Segura 36:59 I'm like, "Oh, okay."

Joe Rogan 37:00 Well, that ranting muscle is a real thing. You know, just like any other kinda thing where you just regularly do an activity-

Tom Segura 37:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:08 ... you wouldn't think about it, and, well, podcasting is a m-, is a muscle too, right? Like, so, like, it gets you better at having conversations with people.

Tom Segura 37:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:17 That's, there's a skill, there's a back and forth-

Tom Segura 37:19 Definitely.

Joe Rogan 37:19 ... skill. And some people aren't that good at it, and some people are really good at it. And you get better at it when you do it more often. But you don't think of, like, just being able to rant as being a skill.

Tom Segura 37:29 Right. Yeah, yeah. And then, then you can look at your own act as a comic and go, like, "Oh, that was a rant bit."

Joe Rogan 37:35 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 37:35 You know? So, if you don't do them a lot, you're like, "That's a ranty bit."

Joe Rogan 37:38 Yeah.

Tom Segura 37:38 And you kinda get away from it. But you see that if, if you exercise that muscle a lot, you know, you can get good at that, at, at flexing that rant muscle.

Joe Rogan 37:46 Yeah. And-

Tom Segura 37:46 And Bill's probably the best.

Joe Rogan 37:47 ... the opposite is true, I mean, we're talking about just talking to people, one of the weirdest things has been getting in contact with people that haven't gone out and haven't been around people-

Tom Segura 37:57 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:57 ... during the entire pandemic. There's quite a few of them like that. Like-

Tom Segura 38:00 And they become strange.

Joe Rogan 38:02 I had Adam Eget on the podcast before he started venturing out-

Tom Segura 38:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:05 ... and he had been locked in his home for months, by himself, single, right?

Tom Segura 38:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:09 So, and he was just, like, pale and-

Tom Segura 38:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:11 ... weirded out by everything.

Tom Segura 38:12 Yeah, his eyes were all fucking bugged out, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:14 And just like, "I haven't been around anybody." I'm like, "How-, what are you doing?"

Tom Segura 38:17 It's not healthy, man.

Joe Rogan 38:18 Oh, it's terrible. There's, how many people are like that, that are in this country right now that have just, like, this weird mental health-

Tom Segura 38:24 Dude-

Joe Rogan 38:25 ... moment?

Tom Segura 38:25 ... you know, I thought about this when I was, like, in the hospital and then in, in recovery. And I know it's not as extreme as, as what I'm gonna compare it to, but it made me think a lot about the effects of isolation.

Joe Rogan 38:39 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 38:39 Because I was basically in a room, one of two rooms, for three weeks, and my communication with people would be short, you know? Someone checks on you, "Oh, I'll check your vitals," and leaves.

Joe Rogan 38:53 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 38:53 And you're just alone. It starts to fuck with your head, man.

Joe Rogan 38:56 What were you doing for fun in there?

Tom Segura 38:57 Pff, no, I mean, not much, man. Like, I mean-

Joe Rogan 39:00 Just-

Tom Segura 39:00 ... I'd have my phone, a TV, you know? Like...

Joe Rogan 39:05 And the TV is, like, in the hospital, so what kinda channels did they have?

Tom Segura 39:07 No, so that was, that, that was, like, um, yeah, that's bullshit. You were like, "How many fucking Korean channels are here in LA?"

Joe Rogan 39:13 (laughs)

Tom Segura 39:13 So, (laughs) like, they have, they have, like, a, a, like, a bank of channels for each language, so you're, like, there's, like, six channels in Farsi and then six in Korean, you know, and they have t-

Joe Rogan 39:22 Oh, really?

Tom Segura 39:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:23 We should probably tell people what happened to you, for people who don't know or don't pay attention, you and Bert were doing this dunk challenge.

Tom Segura 39:30 Well, we, we, so we were shooting content for our live show, which was a-

Joe Rogan 39:33 Yeah.

Tom Segura 39:33 ... New Year's Eve live. So that was, like, exciting. We had done one before where, um, we played tennis and we, you know, we had, like, just goofy shit and was fucking around and we shot some s- sketches and stuff. So we, (laughs) we had this idea, we're like, we competed, "Let's compete. Let's do basketball, and then we'll do a dunk contest. We'll lower the rim and raise it and see who can dunk on the highest rim, and that'll be part of the competition," you know?

Joe Rogan 40:01 Oh, how dare you, Jamie?

Tom Segura 40:02 Uh.

Narrator 40:02 This is him actually dunking. This was the video-

Joe Rogan 40:04 Oh.

Narrator 40:04 ... he just put out-

Tom Segura 40:04 Oh.

Narrator 40:04 ... where they were doing it before that.

Tom Segura 40:05 Oh, yeah, that's that day. Yeah, that's that day.

Joe Rogan 40:07 How high is that one?

Tom Segura 40:08 That one's, like, eight, right? And then...

Joe Rogan 40:11 What's regulation?

Tom Segura 40:12 Ten. And then-

Joe Rogan 40:14 Can you dunk at ten?

Tom Segura 40:15 No. I d- I dunked at nine, though. That's why I beat Bert.

Joe Rogan 40:18 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 40:18 So this is, like, eight and a half, right there. And then the nine, this is nine right here. Right? So I beat him. He couldn't do it. And it was over. That's-

Joe Rogan 40:28 Hm.

Tom Segura 40:28 ... over right there.

Joe Rogan 40:28 And then you did...

Tom Segura 40:30 So right there, they're all like, "Oh," and Bert's like, "Holy shit," 'cause he couldn't do it, and I'm like, "Oh, it's over." And there's Tristan Jass, who he went with, who's, like, a really talented kid, basketball... I'm- I'm- I won. One, excuse me, I won. And, uh, and then right after this, one of those guys goes, uh, "I think you got it, you can go a little higher."

Joe Rogan 40:49 (sucks through teeth)

Tom Segura 40:50 And I was like, "Phew." I remember, I, I felt the adrenaline. You know when someone's like, "You got this," and you're like, "Phew." Like, you feel it, like, your throat kinda tighten up?

Joe Rogan 40:57 Yeah.

Tom Segura 40:57 You know? And that was, they raised it three inches.

Joe Rogan 41:01 That's it?

Tom Segura 41:01 From, from that, nine-three. So, you know, just, 'cause I, I, I, I didn't have a lot more room. I was like, "Ah," that was, like, it was clean, but I was like, "I can't, I can't go that much higher." And just on the push-off, push-off on the left foot, my left patellar tendon snapped.

Joe Rogan 41:17 Now, did you strain it before that?

Tom Segura 41:19 Not that I knew of. I mean, well, as, eventually when I talked to the doctor about it, he was like, "This probably woulda happened, like, doing something else."

Joe Rogan 41:30 What?

Tom Segura 41:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Why?

Tom Segura 41:32 He's just like, you know, he- he said it was such a strange place for the tear to take place. He's like, "It took a..." he, first he goes, (sighs) he goes, you know, "It took a tremendous amount of force to, to do what you did. How did you do this?" I was like, "A fucking dunk contest?"

Joe Rogan 41:46 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 41:46 And he was like, "What?" (laughs) and I was like, "Dunk contest?" He was like, "A slam dunk contest?" And I was like, "Yeah, dude." And he was like, "Okay." He goes, "Well, normally these patellar tendons snap in, like, one of two places. And, like, yours snapped in a place that it rarely happens in. Like, it's not at one of the attachment points. It was, like, a quarter of the way down." He's like, "It's very strange the way it snapped."

Joe Rogan 42:09 Hm. So, didn't you do, like, deadlifts or something the day before that?

Tom Segura 42:13 I did squats three days before, two-

Joe Rogan 42:16 Were you sore when you went to the dunking thing?

Tom Segura 42:18 No.

Joe Rogan 42:19 No?

Tom Segura 42:19 We were do- I was doing 255, uh, sets of 12.

Joe Rogan 42:22 Okay, so not really heavy weight.

Tom Segura 42:23 Not crazy weight.

Joe Rogan 42:24 All right.

Tom Segura 42:24 And, like, I mean, but not super light, but, like, you know, being able to... I didn't, I didn't have a problem with it.

Joe Rogan 42:31 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 42:31 And then-... you know, what- I do remember this, that s- someone reminded me of this afterwards a- at my office, that I do remember they were betting whether I could do nine feet at the office, and some people were like, "Yes?" "No?" And I jumped in my office, in, like, jeans and a T-shirt, and touched the ceiling there, and I was like, "That felt funny."

Joe Rogan 42:52 Oh. Something felt funny in your knee?

Tom Segura 42:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:55 Here's the thing about tendons and ligaments-

Tom Segura 42:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:57 ... uh, especially ligaments. When they snap, they don't hurt.

Tom Segura 43:01 I- it didn't hurt at all.

Joe Rogan 43:03 Yeah.

Tom Segura 43:03 It didn't hurt at all.

Joe Rogan 43:04 They just give out.

Tom Segura 43:05 It just gave out, and-

Joe Rogan 43:06 Yeah.

Tom Segura 43:07 ... I don't know if I would've felt pain if it wasn't for landing on my arm and snapping my humerus in half. And that pain was so severe.

Joe Rogan 43:17 That was- that was so hard to watch.

Tom Segura 43:19 It was extraordinary pain. Like-

Joe Rogan 43:20 And then when Bert takes it and pulls it-

Tom Segura 43:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:22 ... and mo- why did he do that?

Tom Segura 43:23 I- he was like, "You all right, bud?" I think he was in- everyone was in shock that was watching.

Joe Rogan 43:26 But were you- should have- he have done that? Is that bad to move your arm like that?

Tom Segura 43:30 Uh, they- yeah, it's not-

Joe Rogan 43:30 What do you do?

Tom Segura 43:31 You're not supposed to move it.

Joe Rogan 43:32 You're supposed to leave it there?

Tom Segura 43:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have radial nerve damage in there, you know. Some people would argue that it could be exacerbated by being moved, but some people would say that, you know, it didn't.

Joe Rogan 43:43 Ah.

Tom Segura 43:43 Oh, yeah. Right there. Yeah. Yeah. It hurt so much, man.

Joe Rogan 43:49 I can only imagine.

Tom Segura 43:50 It hurt so much. Um-

Joe Rogan 43:52 I can only imagine.

Tom Segura 43:53 ... and then, you know that I- I did something pretty crazy. Uh, so I went to a hospital immediately, right? From the- paramedics came. And as soon as I- as soon as I got to that hospital, I looked around. I don't know where I am or anything. I was like, "I'm not staying here." So they-

Joe Rogan 44:11 Why?

Tom Segura 44:11 I just knew it was a shitty hospital.

Joe Rogan 44:13 Where were you? You don't wanna say?

Tom Segura 44:15 I don't wanna say, but I just knew. I just knew instinctively. I was like, "Mm-mm."

Joe Rogan 44:20 Really?

Tom Segura 44:21 Yeah. And my memory's so... You know when you have, like, intense experiences, your memory's so sharp from it?

Joe Rogan 44:25 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 44:26 Like, I remember so- every detail of, like, a month. Like, everything.

Joe Rogan 44:30 Wow.

Tom Segura 44:30 People I'd met. I remember everyone's name, you know?

Joe Rogan 44:33 Whoa.

Tom Segura 44:34 So I got in that emergency room. I remember that Scott was in the bed next to me. And then this, uh, nurse came in and we did X-rays. And they're, you know, they put this straight brace on my leg. They're like, you know, "Tendon's snapped," and then they did a horrible job wrapping this arm in, like, a makeshift kind of splint brace, you know? And I was like... And then they're just pumping me through it. They're like, "How much pain are you in?" I'm like, "All of it. What are you talking about?" Like, all the pain. And they're giving me drugs. And then they're like, "Well, you need to have surgery." You know? So I, I called my primary physician, and I was like, "Who should operate on me?" And he's like, "Dude, like, the two people I would send you to are out of town right now."

Joe Rogan 45:16 (laughs)

Tom Segura 45:17 I was like, "All right." So the emergency room doctor there is like, "I'll set you up with this person that can do surgery tomorrow." And I was like, "No. I'm not doing it here."

Joe Rogan 45:28 Really?

Tom Segura 45:29 And I was like, "I'm leaving." And they were like, "You wanna leave here?" And I was like, "Yep." They were like, "Your- your leg and your arm are, like, completely non-working." And I was like, "I don't care." They were like, "Are you- are you sure?" And I go, "Yeah." So, Lindsey, who works with me and was there filming, I get in his car. I mean, it was hard to, like-

Joe Rogan 45:48 You got a guy named Lindsey working for you?

Tom Segura 45:50 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:50 Okay.

Tom Segura 45:51 And, uh, he'll... Hey, he'll hear this. Give it to him, man. Give it to him. Uh-

Joe Rogan 45:54 Might wanna change that name. Just... (laughs)

Tom Segura 45:55 (laughs) So he-

Joe Rogan 45:57 Is he- is he he/him as his pronoun?

Tom Segura 45:59 He... No, no, no. He's- he's- he's- his pronoun, he's very he/him, and, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:02 Yeah, so that's his-

Tom Segura 46:03 Yeah, yeah, but he doesn't put it in his signature. But he's a- yeah, he's a great guy. Um, so Lindsey helps me get in the car.

Joe Rogan 46:10 Sorry, Lindsey.

Tom Segura 46:11 Um, and he, uh, drives me home, so I just go h- (laughs) I go home with a broken-in-half arm and a leg that doesn't work.

Joe Rogan 46:20 Why didn't he take you to a better hospital?

Tom Segura 46:22 N- it didn't- it didn't occur to any of us. I didn't go, "Take me to the hospital." I went, "Go home." So I went home, and Bert and Leanne had, like, helped set up this area in our house, 'cause Christina was, like, you know, beside herself, like, so overwhelmed. And they were really, really great. And I got on the couch, and I slept on the couch.

Joe Rogan 46:42 Oh, my God.

Tom Segura 46:43 And then the next morning, B- Bert had hired... I was like, "Find me one of the fucking, like, wheelchair drivers, like, that takes people around." He found a guy that, for $50, picked us up in a 30-year-old van and a 50-year-old wheelchair.

Joe Rogan 46:59 No.

Tom Segura 47:00 Yes. And I was like, "Who the fuck did you find?" He's like, "I don't know." (laughs) So, he... You know, I u- I do, I- I tell him this, that I- I'm always like, you know, I'm a- I'll roll solo. Like, I'll be like, "I- I'll- I'll go by myself to things." I grabbed him. I was like, "Don't you fucking leave me in this van with this guy."

Joe Rogan 47:17 (laughs)

Tom Segura 47:17 "Don't leave me." And he was like, "Okay."

Joe Rogan 47:19 Oh my God. How old was the guy driving the car?

Tom Segura 47:21 Dude, he was... He reeked of cigarettes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:23 (laughs)

Tom Segura 47:23 He had this... His hair was so long that when he pushed me, like in the wheelchair, his hair would, like, be on my back and my neck.

Joe Rogan 47:30 Oh, no.

Tom Segura 47:30 And I was like... But I was in so much pain that I was just, like, just grinding my teeth. He takes me to an orthopedic surgeon, like, to this office. And when I wheel into the office, that guy goes, "What the fuck are you doing here, man?" And I go, "What?" He goes, "You need to go to the hospital, like, right now." And I go, "Really?" He goes, "Yeah, man. You need to go to the hospital right now." And he goes, "I just saw, like, with the- the X-rays from last night..." He goes, "You, I mean, just go right- right now, immediately to the emergency room." I was like, "Okay." He tells me, you know, "This is gonna be easy to fix. The tendon's, like, the real work, but just go, and it'll be- it'll suck for a bit to wait and everything, but just go." So then I go to Cedars in LA, and then, you know, you have to wait, and then we get into, like, the fast track, and Bert, you know, is with me. And then eventually, I get into a room later that day, and then two days later, I have surgery. And then-

Joe Rogan 48:28 Wow.

Tom Segura 48:28 ... and then from... I stay there another few days.

Joe Rogan 48:30 So what'd they do with you for those two days?

Tom Segura 48:32 It was like-I mean, they were pumping me full of drugs. They rewrapped my arm, which... So, they had to take off the old wrap, the shitty wrap. And I was like, "No, dude." And then reset it and rewrap it.

Joe Rogan 48:44 Oh, man.

Tom Segura 48:45 Yeah. That was, that was so much pain. And then, then they operated, and then, um, a couple of days later, I go to a recovery place, like, a rehab recovery place for two weeks. So, that's why- that's what, you know... You're just alone all the time, you know?

Joe Rogan 48:59 Yeah.

Tom Segura 49:00 And it's- it's strange, you know?

Joe Rogan 49:01 And the two days of waiting was just because they needed operating room time, or-

Tom Segura 49:05 Uh, or just, like, uh... So, I... That's the other thing. Uh, I ended up getting, like, one of the best trauma surgeons. So, I was, like, in the trauma ward and, and this is, like, one of the most sought after trauma surgeons, so I'm so lucky to get him. And I tell him that... He's like, "Tell me, you know, what happened." I tell him and I tell him I left that hospital. And he goes, "Let me tell you something." He goes, "That is crazy. But that's just one of the smartest things you've ever done."

Joe Rogan 49:29 Wow.

Tom Segura 49:30 He was like, "That was really, really smart of you to do."

Joe Rogan 49:32 Imagine if they butchered you.

Tom Segura 49:34 Yeah. He goes... You know, 'cause it was basically like that... These two operations are major operations. And, like, I have titanium plates in here, you know, and, like-

Joe Rogan 49:44 What does the scar look like?

Tom Segura 49:45 Um, it's just like... It's pretty gnarly. I mean-

Joe Rogan 49:51 Take your jar- jacket off.

Tom Segura 49:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:53 See the whole thing. Dun-dun-dun. Now, how long ago was this?

Tom Segura 49:58 Uh, December 1st (exhales) and the surgery was December 4th.

Joe Rogan 50:03 Bro, that is a crazy scar.

Tom Segura 50:05 And, like-

Joe Rogan 50:05 So, they went right through your bicep?

Tom Segura 50:07 Yeah. And, uh, I love that one of the guys are like-

Joe Rogan 50:09 Yeah, yeah. Pull that up. Pull it up. That's wild, dude.

Tom Segura 50:13 And I still have, like, radial nerve damage, you know?

Joe Rogan 50:16 Yeah?

Tom Segura 50:16 Not damage. Excuse me. Bruising. So, it's gonna take, like... They said up to 16, 18 months. Like, month by month, it gets a little better. Like, I couldn't pull my wrist up like this before. If I raised my hand, it would just go like that.

Joe Rogan 50:31 When did this- when it become better?

Tom Segura 50:33 Like, a month ago.

Joe Rogan 50:34 Wow.

Tom Segura 50:34 When I can grip things, but I can't use my extenders. Like, my hand doesn't open all the way.

Joe Rogan 50:39 So, when you... Do you have to, like, do it?

Tom Segura 50:42 Yeah, or, like, I just have to place it.

Joe Rogan 50:45 You have to force it? But wh- when you place it, can you grab things?

Tom Segura 50:46 Yes, I can grab things.

Joe Rogan 50:46 Can you do a chin-up?

Tom Segura 50:48 No, definitely not.

Joe Rogan 50:50 Wow.

Tom Segura 50:51 Yeah. 'Cause I'm- I'm- I'm lifting weights, like, four or five days a week, but it's all light. And it has, it has... Like, I just got permission to do... For- for, like, months it was 15 pounds. It was like, "You can only lift 15 pounds in this arm."

Joe Rogan 51:03 Hmm.

Tom Segura 51:04 And then he gave me permission to go up. So, I did 20. And if I did rows, I can do, like, 25, 30. But it's the... All- everything here atrophied, you know? Like, that, the whole-

Joe Rogan 51:13 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 51:13 ... the whole rotator cuff area, sup- much, much weaker. It's, it's weird. Like, you're like, "That's not heavy," but then it feels heavy, you know?

Joe Rogan 51:21 Oh, wow.

Tom Segura 51:22 You know? And same thing with, like, your leg. Like, I can do seated squats holding weight here, but I can't, like, put, you know, weight on my back.

Joe Rogan 51:32 Right.

Tom Segura 51:32 Like, but- but, you know, you do it, like, little by little and you see the little changes. Like, it's already-

Joe Rogan 51:36 Yeah, I've been through a gang of surgeries.

Tom Segura 51:38 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:39 Yeah, I've had both of my knees reconstructed.

Tom Segura 51:41 Oh, so you've... Yeah. But, like, when this thing was in a straight brace for six weeks, when that thing came off, I mean, you look at my quad, it was just like... Come on.

Joe Rogan 51:49 It's weird, right?

Tom Segura 51:50 I was like, "Whoa!" And you put it next to the other one and you're like, "Oh, my God, man."

Joe Rogan 51:53 It's weird how quick it happens.

Tom Segura 51:54 Yeah, happens real fast.

Joe Rogan 51:56 The, the, um... I did one of my knees, I got lucky, and, uh, I didn't have any meniscus damage on my right side.

Tom Segura 52:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:03 So, when I did that one... And that was on- one that... I didn't even know it was bad at... I was doing jujitsu and I was in my friend Will's guard and I was, um, passing his guard but my leg was sideways and he extended what's called a lockdown.

Tom Segura 52:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:18 And basically, what it's like is, like, you know your leg wants to go like this, like, your arm.

Tom Segura 52:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:23 And it went that way instead. And so, like, he straightened it out, but he straightened it out, like, up.

Tom Segura 52:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:29 So, it just popped and it just completely snapped like a carrot and had this, uh, this crazy sound to it. Just like... (clicks tongue)

Tom Segura 52:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:37 Just like that. I'm like, "Whoa!" But it didn't hur- it was weird because it didn't hurt.

Tom Segura 52:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:40 And we were both like, "What happened? What was that? Whoa, that sounded terrible." And then I moved around a little and I felt it. And then, um-

Tom Segura 52:47 Could you tell?

Joe Rogan 52:48 No, I couldn't tell. I kept rolling. I kept doing jujitsu.

Tom Segura 52:51 Wow.

Joe Rogan 52:52 And then, um, I was home, um, I was like, "I thought maybe I just twisted it." I don't know. But then I was home moving some stuff in my office and it just went boop. It just gave out.

Tom Segura 53:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:03 And I was like, "Oh, it's not stable. It's fucking blown." And then I- I- I'd already done that with my left knee.

Tom Segura 53:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:10 So-

Tom Segura 53:10 So, you knew what was up.

Joe Rogan 53:11 ... I had a pretty good feeling and I went to... Shout out to Dr. Gettleman. And, uh, he, uh, looked at it and he goes, "Yep." And he brought- he brought your scan up.

Tom Segura 53:18 How long was your rehab with that?

Joe Rogan 53:20 That was quick as fuck. That was crazy because that one was a cadaver g- graft.

Tom Segura 53:25 Oh.

Joe Rogan 53:25 And a cadaver graft is minimally invasive. There's just two little holes. Whereas on my left side, they used a patella tendon graft where they take a slice of your patella tendon with a piece of your shin bone and a piece of your, um, your patella kneecap.

Tom Segura 53:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:38 And then they open you up like a fish and screw it in place.

Tom Segura 53:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:42 And that's your new ACL.

Tom Segura 53:43 Wow.

Joe Rogan 53:43 And then your body re-proliferates that, those tendons, the blood flow and everything starts getting... And it takes a long time. It took about a year for this one to feel mostly normal. But the left- the right knee, rather, I went to a party with just a brace on, like, a couple weeks later.

Tom Segura 54:05 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:05 It was nuts. Like, I was walking around.

Tom Segura 54:07 Yeah. These were... Man.

Joe Rogan 54:09 I had just had a brace on.

Tom Segura 54:10 That's wild.

Joe Rogan 54:11 And then I was d- uh, but the thing was, like, my active rehab, I went, I went into rehabilitation right away 'cause I knew that your knee gets real tight. And then you have to make sure-

Tom Segura 54:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:21 ... that you go through the full range of motion as quickly as possible. So, I was doing bodyweight squats in a steam shower, like, right away.

Tom Segura 54:29 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:30 Right away. 'Cause I was just... I knew I could hold myself up with my left leg mostly-

Tom Segura 54:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:34 ... and put some strain on my... And I, but I, what I was basically doing, I was forcing my knees to bend deep.

Tom Segura 54:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:40 And the... I go, "That's okay? I can do that?" And he goes, "Yeah." He goes, "If you can take the pain, you can do it." And he goes, "Just don't," you know, "don't lift weights and don't-"

Tom Segura 54:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:47 "... put strain on it, and hold on to something so you're okay." So, that's what I did once I got... And I got...... six months later, I was doing jujitsu again.

Tom Segura 54:55 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:55 No prob. Which is probably not wise, now that I know what happens.

Tom Segura 54:58 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:59 Because you're, it's not totally healed yet.

Tom Segura 55:02 No.

Joe Rogan 55:03 So, it's like it takes a long time for those cells, 'cause what I had is, uh, a cadaver Achilles tendon. They take Achilles tendon out of a dead guy.

Tom Segura 55:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:11 And, which is a bigger, fatter ligament.

Tom Segura 55:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:14 And they st- it's said it's 150 t- percent s- stronger than y- your regular ACL.

Tom Segura 55:18 Sure.

Joe Rogan 55:19 And then they stick it in there, and then your body re-proliferates it with your own tissue. So, it sort of acts as a scaffolding-

Tom Segura 55:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:25 ... for your body to eventually retake it over.

Tom Segura 55:29 Wow.

Joe Rogan 55:29 Yeah. But this one is, had nothing since then, no problems at all.

Tom Segura 55:33 They told me that, they were like, "This, this patellar tendon," they were like, "That is a fucked up one."

Joe Rogan 55:38 It's a big tendon.

Tom Segura 55:40 It's a big one, and your leg becomes, I mean, it's like a, a peg for the time that it's in the straight bra- like, you can't bend it at all. And then when you get the straight brace off, you, you bend it, like, minimally to start, you know?

Joe Rogan 55:52 Do you think that you blew it out when you did that thing where you were jumping up in your, your office?

Tom Segura 55:56 I, you know, I might have.

Joe Rogan 55:58 'Cause it did feel fucked?

Tom Segura 55:59 It did feel funny. It did feel weird. But, you know, we played, we played basketball. We played-

Joe Rogan 56:04 Mm.

Tom Segura 56:05 ... two-on-one before the dunking.

Joe Rogan 56:07 Mm.

Tom Segura 56:07 Full game, to 11, you know? And we, you know, I was running around and shooting, jumping, like, normal basketball. I didn't feel anything weird.

Joe Rogan 56:16 And then ...

Tom Segura 56:17 Dude, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:18 Oof.

Tom Segura 56:18 Just like that. It was so strange.

Joe Rogan 56:20 Crazy.

Tom Segura 56:20 It, it, you know, the whole thing is that the experience becomes, like, so intense. And I, I don't think, like, I can communicate it to people fully who, who haven't either experienced it or the only people who, like, totally get it, like the intensity of the experience and how it affects you, are the PTs.

Joe Rogan 56:37 Hm.

Tom Segura 56:37 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 56:37 'Cause they've seen it.

Tom Segura 56:38 They work with, you know, orthopedic injuries every day. Like, they know that it affects you, like, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Nobody prepares you for that.

Joe Rogan 56:46 Yeah.

Tom Segura 56:47 So, you have-

Joe Rogan 56:47 You have a full year-and-a-half, really, before your left arm is right.

Tom Segura 56:50 I mean, they told me that, you know, they're like, "That leg," they go, "Consider that a year, like a year before it's, uh, what you were used to before." The arm, it's like, they go, they've seen the nerve stuff, 'cause your, your nerve regenerates at one millimeter a day. So, I don't have a dam- I don't have, like, a br- like, a cut nerve, but they're like, "One millimeter a day is," you know, it's really, really small.

Joe Rogan 57:13 Yeah.

Tom Segura 57:13 So, they're like, "Yeah, we've seen people recover in four months from their radial nerve stuff, and then we've seen people that take, like, 18 months."

Joe Rogan 57:21 Hm.

Tom Segura 57:21 So, it, it, they go, "It's just up in the air."

Joe Rogan 57:23 Now, did you, um, look into peptides or anything else?

Tom Segura 57:27 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:27 I-m has any of that stuff helped you?

Tom Segura 57:28 I mean, I've taken 'em and, uh, I, I feel better. I feel good, you know, and I'm, like, you know, I'm eating really clean. I'm, I-

Joe Rogan 57:35 You look good.

Tom Segura 57:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:36 I was saying when I, as soon as I saw you-

Tom Segura 57:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:37 ... like, you look thin.

Tom Segura 57:38 Yeah? Oh, thanks, man.

Joe Rogan 57:39 Like, your face looks healthy.

Tom Segura 57:40 Yeah. I feel, I feel good. And, um, I, you know, the truth is I don't know what effect (laughs) the peptides have. I take them.

Joe Rogan 57:47 Right.

Tom Segura 57:48 And, um, I, I, religiously, like, I follow that schedule.

Joe Rogan 57:51 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 57:51 But to me, it all feels like part of, kinda the ritual of rehab.

Joe Rogan 57:55 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 57:55 So, like, it's, like, it's part, it's m- uh, it's dieting. It's exercise, peptide, like, all that is part of the recovery.

Joe Rogan 58:02 And are you doing the rehab through a physical therapist? Do you, you doing that?

Tom Segura 58:04 Yeah. Yeah. I got a great one.

Joe Rogan 58:06 How many days a week you doing that?

Tom Segura 58:07 We, we were at three days a week, then we went down to two. Um, and then, like, now, I don't really need, I don't need rehab anymore on my leg. I, I mean, I need to work out and get it stronger, which I do, but I don't need her to, to rehab it. Dr. Karen Joubert, she's awesome. Um, but she's been doing some of my, uh, like, shoulder/arm stuff, uh, working on this. But, uh, the leg is pretty much, like, just getting stronger now.

Joe Rogan 58:31 Yeah, you just look normal when you're walking around.

Tom Segura 58:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:33 You don't have a limp at all.

Tom Segura 58:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:34 Which was surprising. I was, like, wondering-

Tom Segura 58:36 Yeah, it's only four months.

Joe Rogan 58:36 ... how he was gonna walk.

Tom Segura 58:37 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:37 Yeah.

Tom Segura 58:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:38 Isn't that crazy?

Tom Segura 58:38 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I, I-

Joe Rogan 58:41 How do they reattach it?

Tom Segura 58:43 Dude, they, they take that tendon and ex- like, basically drill the hole back into your patella and, like, extend, extend the, the, the tendon and, and drill it back into the patella at the top, like, where it connects to your patella. And it's, so it's real tender there for, like, the, uh, the first, you know, couple months.

Joe Rogan 59:05 Hm.

Tom Segura 59:05 Like, really tender.

Joe Rogan 59:06 Jesus.

Tom Segura 59:08 Um, yeah. But now, now, um, it doesn't get, it doesn't bother me at all, you know?

Joe Rogan 59:13 So, no pain at all?

Tom Segura 59:13 I put on a, I put on a sleeve when I do cardio or any type of weight stuff, just like, it's like a compression thing.

Joe Rogan 59:19 And cardio, you're talking, like, bike or something like that, you know?

Tom Segura 59:21 Yeah, I do a lot of elliptical.

Joe Rogan 59:22 Yeah.

Tom Segura 59:23 So, I do, like, uh, 45 to 60 minutes on the elliptical. And I mean, it doesn't bother me. I just, I ha- I have that sleeve on, it feels good. (sniffs) Uh, the arm, it'll be weird. Sometimes I'll grab weights and pull it up, and you'll just feel, like, a weird shooting pain, you know? I don't know. It's hard to-

Joe Rogan 59:40 And that, uh, plate that's in your arm?

Tom Segura 59:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:42 That has to stay there forever?

Tom Segura 59:44 Fa- I mean, they haven't said otherwise, so-

Joe Rogan 59:47 Sometimes they back out.

Tom Segura 59:48 I, I heard about that.

Joe Rogan 59:49 Yeah.

Tom Segura 59:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:51 I've had friends-

Tom Segura 59:51 It, it looks pretty massive on the X-ray.

Joe Rogan 59:53 Where the screws start backing out, they start poking out of the skin.

Tom Segura 59:56 Really?

Joe Rogan 59:57 Yeah. But these are fighters, so they're probably getting their arm kicked and shit, and-

Tom Segura 1:00:01 Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 ... like, tackling people with their arm.

Tom Segura 1:00:03 Did you know that with vasectomies, they, um, you know, they take, they basically just take a tube and move it and then put it somewhere, like, attach it to another part?

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 1:00:12 That in a certain percentage of cases, the tube on its own goes back to where it was-

Joe Rogan 1:00:17 Yo.

Tom Segura 1:00:17 ... and reattaches. So, the urologist told me that.

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 Yo.

Tom Segura 1:00:19 Yeah, I was like, "What?" And he goes, yeah-

Joe Rogan 1:00:21 Nature.

Tom Segura 1:00:21 He goes, he goes, "I didn't believe it when I was in med school until I saw it in practice."

Joe Rogan 1:00:25 Wow.

Tom Segura 1:00:26 That the actual tube that we surgically put somewhere else reattaches itself to where it was.

Joe Rogan 1:00:33 That's nature, son.

Tom Segura 1:00:34 Yeah. Same.

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 Nature's like, "Nah, bro."

Tom Segura 1:00:36 Make babies.

Joe Rogan 1:00:36 "We're gonna make some people."

Tom Segura 1:00:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 "Man."

Tom Segura 1:00:38 Pretty wild.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 "People in this motherfucker, huh?"

Tom Segura 1:00:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 "I heard a asteroid's coming."

Tom Segura 1:00:41 Pretty crazy, man.

Joe Rogan 1:00:43 (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:00:44 Pretty crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 That is crazy, that it finds a way. Have you ever seen neurons in a lab seek each other out?

Tom Segura 1:00:49 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 It's the weirdest thing. Lex Fridman had it on his, uh, Instagram page, where you're, it's a video, it's a time-lapse video of these neurons that are in a Petri dish, and they just start seeking each other out, and then they make connections with each other.

Tom Segura 1:01:01 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:01:02 Yeah, they, they actually move towards each other. They don't have eyes, but they figure it out. Like, look at that. How dope is this new TV?

Tom Segura 1:01:10 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 Ooh.

Narrator 1:01:11 It's bright.

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 ... it's so nice, I like it. I like it a lot. But isn't that wild? Look at all these things move towards each other.

Tom Segura 1:01:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 And they make these connections, like they, they literally connect to each other. And it, and that, looking at that made me think about skills. It made me think about, like, someone, like say, that plays the piano or something like that.

Tom Segura 1:01:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 Like, those n- it's not, like, you can't learn that quick.

Tom Segura 1:01:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 Like, there's no way you can move the way, like, a talented pianist-

Tom Segura 1:01:38 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 1:01:38 ... has these things in their hands.

Tom Segura 1:01:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 Like, there's stuff that-

Tom Segura 1:01:41 I started taking piano lessons.

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 Oh, really?

Tom Segura 1:01:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 Really?

Tom Segura 1:01:44 Mm-hmm. Take 'em with you?

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 To help your hand?

Tom Segura 1:01:45 Well, that, and I just, I kept walking by my kid doing his piano lesson, I was like, "I want a piano lesson."

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 (laughs) So, you just had, doubled the person up?

Tom Segura 1:01:54 Yep. I was like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:55 Stay for the next hour?

Tom Segura 1:01:55 ... "You do grownups too?" And she was like, "Yeah." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:57 Oh, that's why it's grownups. (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:01:58 So, grownups, yeah. (laughs) You're sitting with my five-year-old, how about me?

Joe Rogan 1:02:01 (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:02:02 Um, you know, the best part is that she was like, um, "What do you want to play?" I was like, "Are we gonna go through, like, this is C major..." Like, you know, I figured we'd start like that. And she was like, "No, just tell me the music you want to play, we'll just play the music." And I was like, "Fuck yeah." So-

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Wow.

Tom Segura 1:02:14 But the funny thing is, like, you're talking about that, watching her play-

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 1:02:18 ... is so unbelievable. Also, that I, I could put up a s- pull a song up, like this right here, and she's like, "Oh, okay." And then just immediately (singing) , I'm like-

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:02:29 ... "Fuck," just hearing it once. This is what it is.

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 I'm in awe of people that can do that.

Tom Segura 1:02:33 Yeah, it's so cool to watch. I was like, "This, I can't believe you can just do that."

Joe Rogan 1:02:37 Yeah, there's, there's things that, like, that's why I never understand when people say, "I'm bored."

Tom Segura 1:02:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:41 "I'm so bored." Like, there's so many things I wish I could do-

Tom Segura 1:02:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:45 ... but I just don't have the time.

Tom Segura 1:02:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:46 Like, I, I can't go down, like, a guitar playing rabbit hole-

Tom Segura 1:02:49 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 ... 'cause I'll lose my fucking marbles on it.

Tom Segura 1:02:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 I'll be, like, practicing all day-

Tom Segura 1:02:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:54 ... and I'll sing some cringey song and everybody will get mad at me. (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:02:59 (laughs) Yeah, it's fun, man. The, the, the piano thing's really fun.

Joe Rogan 1:03:02 Well, that's the other thing about musicians too. I used to always really admire, uh, musicians. Like, you remember the movie... Not, not that I don't now, but when I was, uh, coming up as a comic, I remember watching that movie, Mo' Better Blues.

Tom Segura 1:03:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:14 And, uh, Denzel Washington's girlfriends were all trying to fuck him, and he's like, "No, no, no, I gotta practice."

Tom Segura 1:03:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 And I'm like, "Man, I wish I had that kind of resolve."

Tom Segura 1:03:22 You're right, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 And discipline.

Tom Segura 1:03:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:25 You know, especially as a young man.

Tom Segura 1:03:27 Oh, my God, I know. Where you're like, "Oh, I'm listening to my set right now and I need to make notes."

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:03:31 You're like, "No, no, I've got time for this." Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:32 Let's fuck. (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:03:33 Yeah, let's fuck, for sure.

Joe Rogan 1:03:35 Well, you just, comics w- we're just not, d- in general, not that disciplined about preparation.

Tom Segura 1:03:41 True. And, and there also is, like, there's, like, almost a need to have a certain level of laziness fuck-off-ness-

Joe Rogan 1:03:50 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:03:50 ... you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:03:51 Right.

Tom Segura 1:03:51 To, to the, to the lifestyle or whatever, for the art.

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 Like Diaz-

Tom Segura 1:03:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 ... who's the best.

Tom Segura 1:03:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:56 Like, he's a, he's an impulsive wild man.

Tom Segura 1:03:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 But that's also, there's these moments that he creates on stage you're not gonna create by, like, fabricating each-

Tom Segura 1:04:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 ... line individually.

Tom Segura 1:04:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 Like, there's other people that are better joke writers.

Tom Segura 1:04:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:10 But there's not a person who's funnier.

Tom Segura 1:04:12 Right, or like a more, uh, captivating, engaging-

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 Yeah.

Tom Segura 1:04:15 ... storyteller, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 When the moment hits, like when it's-

Tom Segura 1:04:18 (snaps fingers)

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 ... when the moment's there and he captures it-

Tom Segura 1:04:21 Ba-binga!

Joe Rogan 1:04:22 ... you know, it's like he's got that thing. And I don't think you get that thing if you're like-

Tom Segura 1:04:27 He did that set that I told you about-

Joe Rogan 1:04:29 Mm-hmm.

Tom Segura 1:04:29 ... like, in Miami, on 1,000 milligrams.

Joe Rogan 1:04:34 (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:04:35 (laughs) And I was like-

Joe Rogan 1:04:35 That's so much. (laughs)

Tom Segura 1:04:36 I know, and I, I, I got off-