Joe Rogan Experience #1633 - Ali Macofsky

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) And hello, Ali.

Ali Macofsky 0:17 Hi, Joe.

Joe Rogan 0:17 What's going on, kid? How you living?

Ali Macofsky 0:19 Not much. I'm still-

Joe Rogan 0:20 I can call you kid for five more years.

Ali Macofsky 0:21 Do I really get it that long?

Joe Rogan 0:23 Yeah, you get it to 30, 'cause I'm 53. I'm an old man.

Ali Macofsky 0:26 I think-

Joe Rogan 0:26 I can call you kid, I can call you kid into your late, late 30s.

Ali Macofsky 0:29 Yeah, 'cause you'll always be older than me.

Joe Rogan 0:30 Yes, always. You'll always be a kid.

Ali Macofsky 0:32 I think kid should stop when I'm off my parent insurance in September.

Joe Rogan 0:36 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 0:38 And then you'll call me an adult and I'll break my arm, and I'll be like, "Joe, can you help?"

Joe Rogan 0:43 (laughs) I remember, um, when I was a kid I would hear... when I was a kid, when I was in my 20s I would hear men that were in their late 30s and 40s calling their significant other, their girlfriend. And I was like, "That's a 39-year-old woman. That's not a girl." What the fuck?

Ali Macofsky 0:56 Well, now everyone's doing the partner thing.

Joe Rogan 0:59 Oh, that's-

Ali Macofsky 1:00 I used to talk shit about it, 'cause I, I would have like straight friends who were like, "This is my partner." And I'm like, "It's your boyfriend."

Joe Rogan 1:06 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:07 But now I kind of like it because girlfriend/boyfriend, it sounds so corny. I actually got booed up, Joe.

Joe Rogan 1:12 You got booed up?

Ali Macofsky 1:13 Yeah, I'm booed up.

Joe Rogan 1:14 What does that mean?

Ali Macofsky 1:14 I got a boyfriend.

Joe Rogan 1:14 Oh, you got a boyfriend.

Ali Macofsky 1:16 I have a boyfriend.

Joe Rogan 1:16 That's what booed up means?

Ali Macofsky 1:17 Yeah, you're booed up.

Joe Rogan 1:18 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 1:18 I got a boo.

Joe Rogan 1:18 Where'd you meet this fella?

Ali Macofsky 1:20 Tinder.

Joe Rogan 1:20 Really?

Ali Macofsky 1:21 Yeah, I was trying to get an STD 'cause I haven't had one yet, and uh-

Joe Rogan 1:25 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 1:25 And I found him, and he's got nothing for me.

Joe Rogan 1:28 Aw.

Ali Macofsky 1:28 He's clean as a whistle, but-

Joe Rogan 1:29 Damn.

Ali Macofsky 1:30 I know. So I got-

Joe Rogan 1:31 Were you hoping to get one of them curable ones, or one of them ones you keep forever?

Ali Macofsky 1:34 If there's a pill for it, I'm like, "Give it."

Joe Rogan 1:36 Mm.

Ali Macofsky 1:36 "Give it."

Joe Rogan 1:36 Like the clap or something?

Ali Macofsky 1:37 Yeah, I'm, I'm on my insurance 'til September. I'm like, "Fuck it. Let's try it out."

Joe Rogan 1:41 Couple more months, let's ride.

Ali Macofsky 1:42 Yeah, the way you're trying to get COVID, I'm trying to get like chlamydia or something.

Joe Rogan 1:45 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 1:46 I like chlamydia. It's hard to spell.

Joe Rogan 1:48 It's a weird one, 'cause I feel like you don't know you have it and then you give it to people, and then everyone's mad at you.

Ali Macofsky 1:53 COVID.

Joe Rogan 1:53 No. Pl-

Ali Macofsky 1:53 It's the COVID of venereal diseases.

Joe Rogan 1:55 Mm. Right.

Ali Macofsky 1:55 You don't know you have it. I just found out that I had COVID here.

Joe Rogan 1:58 Yeah, we found out just an hour ago, or 20 minutes ago. What's really crazy is that you didn't have any idea.

Ali Macofsky 2:04 I had no idea. I mean, there was-

Joe Rogan 2:05 Were you sick a little?

Ali Macofsky 2:06 I was sick.

Joe Rogan 2:07 Like how sick?

Ali Macofsky 2:07 Because I thought that I just had like a cold, and I felt like really lethargic, but I'm a pretty lethargic person in general. So I'm like, "Is this normal lethargy or like for real?" And so I was like laying in bed, you know, taking like Tylenol or whatever and just kind of like trying to ride it out. But I was going to a place... This is what I think is so flawed is, because COVID was so... we found out so immediately, it was like people were just coming out with testing centers that weren't fully, um, prepared. And so I was going to this place in LA getting tested regularly, and I was getting negatives every time. And then an article came out that that specific testing center had a lot of false negatives.

Joe Rogan 2:52 Huh.

Ali Macofsky 2:54 So I thought I didn't have it, but there was part of me that was like, "This could be it," but I tested negative.

Joe Rogan 2:58 Wh- why did that particular testing center have a lot of false negatives? I mean...

Ali Macofsky 3:02 Because the guy who create- it's called Curative Core, um, and the guy who started it, I guess, was like a tech dude in SF, and when COVID hit he's like, "Here's a money opportunity for me. I'll just get a bunch of tests, make them happen quickly." And so he did that, and he made it happen, but there were a lot of false negatives reported.

Joe Rogan 3:23 Huh.

Ali Macofsky 3:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:24 I wonder what he used-

Ali Macofsky 3:26 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 3:26 ... like for testing. That's... Hmm.

Ali Macofsky 3:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:30 That's bad.

Ali Macofsky 3:32 It is bad.

Joe Rogan 3:32 That, that, that's... 'cause you get false confidence, you know?

Ali Macofsky 3:34 Totally. And that's the thing is I was like trying to... Obviously when I got sick, I'm like there, there's a chance that it could be COVID, so I'm not gonna like be raging or anything when I'm not feeling good.

Joe Rogan 3:46 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 3:46 And so I just laid low, but that would be such a fear for me is like going over to see my parents.

Joe Rogan 3:51 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 3:51 'Cause there's this weird thing where like young people my age and like boomers, my parents' age, they both kind of don't give a fuck about COVID, some of them. My parents care, but they're like... My sister... Oh, she doesn't want me talking about it.

Joe Rogan 4:02 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 4:04 My sister didn't have COVID, but hypothetically if she did around Christmastime, she's gonna be so mad. Fuck.

Joe Rogan 4:11 Don't say it.

Ali Macofsky 4:12 She didn't have COVID, but if she did my mom was like, my mom was like, "If you test positive before COVID, just wear a mask over to my house."

Joe Rogan 4:18 Wow.

Ali Macofsky 4:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:20 Your mom's risky.

Ali Macofsky 4:21 She's a little risky gal. That's where I get it from.

Joe Rogan 4:23 She's a risky lady.

Ali Macofsky 4:24 Crazy ladies in the-

Joe Rogan 4:25 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 4:25 ... in the Makovsky home.

Joe Rogan 4:26 Mm. Yeah, it's, um, this, that's the big fear. Like I'd heard about this one kid who was, uh, 21 who, uh, was out partying, wasn't paying a- any attention at all and almost killed his dad.

Ali Macofsky 4:39 Wow.

Joe Rogan 4:39 Yeah, he got it and barely knew he had it, and his dad got it real bad. And his dad was in the hospital, and it was just horrific, and, you know, they were just so worried that the kid was gonna kill his dad.

Ali Macofsky 4:48 W-

Joe Rogan 4:48 And he didn't. The dad di- not that he was gonna kill his dad, COVID did.

Ali Macofsky 4:52 COVID.

Joe Rogan 4:52 But I mean, if you're living with your parents and you're just out there getting buck wild and you're 21 years old...

Ali Macofsky 4:57 Well, and so many people were moving back in with their parents during this time-

Joe Rogan 5:01 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 5:01 ... 'cause they're not making money, you know?

Joe Rogan 5:03 Right.

Ali Macofsky 5:03 I was thinking about it. I stayed with my mom the first two months, and I was like, "Should I just live with her?" But I, you know, I, I can't do that, but...

Joe Rogan 5:10 You wanna still love her.

Ali Macofsky 5:11 I wanna love her, yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:12 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 5:12 I don't wanna like wake up with my hand around her neck-

Joe Rogan 5:15 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 5:15 ... and I'll be like, "How did I get here?" You know? Like a blackout rage.

Joe Rogan 5:19 Especially if you take Ambien.

Ali Macofsky 5:21 I don't take Ambien.

Joe Rogan 5:22 Good for you. That stuff, you, you know, people-

Ali Macofsky 5:23 I watch reality shows.

Joe Rogan 5:24 ... do a lot of that on Ambien. Like one guy, um, I think this was an Ambien thing. It might have been a sleepwalking thing. I, I'm pre- pretty sure it was an Ambien thing. I think he drove to someone's house and murdered them and then came home and didn't know he did it. God, I'm trying to remember the specifics of the story because, uh... Kevin James.

Ali Macofsky 5:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:46 My friend Kevin.

Ali Macofsky 5:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:46 You know, from King of Queens.

Ali Macofsky 5:47 Of course I know Kevin.

Joe Rogan 5:48 Hilarious comedian. He, uh, he used to take the Ambien, and he had some experiences, one of them where he cooked dinner and didn't realize it, and he lit- literally thought someone broke into his house and cooked.

Ali Macofsky 5:59 (laughs) He's like, "Dude, I hire a private chef."

Joe Rogan 6:01 'Cause you just, you just forget, like, like big chunks. Okay, here it is.What is it? What was he saying here? "A forensic psychologist and two psychiatrists were involved in the two cases discussed." So, what are the cases? "In at least three cases, a person with no apparent motive and no history of violence brutally murdered a spouse or close friend in the wee hours after taking more than the recommended dose of zolpidem."

Guest 6:26 I'm pretty sure it's the same thing.

Joe Rogan 6:27 Is that the same as, uh, Ambien?

Ali Macofsky 6:29 Yeah.

Guest 6:29 I typed in "Ambien murders," and this is-

Joe Rogan 6:31 Oh.

Guest 6:31 ... what I got led to.

Joe Rogan 6:32 "Zolpidem, along with other psychotropic medications." The... Yeah, that's the thing with a lot of that stuff is if you combine them together, like maybe you could combine it together and you'd have no problem. But maybe if Jamie combined it together, he'd have a wildly different reaction and start merking people.

Ali Macofsky 6:48 Jamie, let's test it out tonight.

Joe Rogan 6:51 (laughs)

Guest 6:51 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 6:51 Go to 6th Street, walk around town, pop a couple Ambs.

Joe Rogan 6:55 So, tell me about this fella.

Ali Macofsky 6:57 Oh, my gosh.

Joe Rogan 6:57 How, how'd you meet? You met him on-

Ali Macofsky 6:58 Well-

Joe Rogan 6:58 ... T-Tinder.

Ali Macofsky 6:59 I met him on Tinder. Well, it's funny because last time I was on your podcast, I was talking about how I like a lanky, skinny boy who needs me to snuggle for body heat.

Joe Rogan 7:07 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 7:07 You know, that's my kind. Like, a breakable boy. And I found him. He's-

Joe Rogan 7:12 H- he's a breakable boy?

Ali Macofsky 7:13 ... 6'3", small guy.

Joe Rogan 7:15 How much does he weigh?

Ali Macofsky 7:16 Has a lot of shitty tattoos. We have that in common.

Joe Rogan 7:20 Nice. (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 7:20 I don't know how much he weighs. I was gonna say 130, but that would be way off. He's like, one t- 170.

Joe Rogan 7:24 Oh, so he's a fairly s- sturdy fella.

Ali Macofsky 7:28 He's sturdy enough.

Joe Rogan 7:28 You're probably not gonna break him.

Ali Macofsky 7:30 Eh. Yeah, I'm working on it.

Joe Rogan 7:31 How long you guys been together?

Ali Macofsky 7:33 Uh, five, five months-

Joe Rogan 7:34 Whoa.

Ali Macofsky 7:35 ... which is like five years in Ally time.

Joe Rogan 7:37 In Ally time, that's like... That's a lifetime. That's-

Ali Macofsky 7:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:39 When you, when are yous popping the ring?

Ali Macofsky 7:42 (sighs) I don't want to get married.

Joe Rogan 7:43 Oh, ever?

Ali Macofsky 7:44 I don't know. Maybe at some point. B- but I'm like a... I'm a slow and steady type of gal. I want to focus on myself. I don't want to, like, get distracted by, like, you know, like, uh, weddings and, like-

Joe Rogan 7:56 I get it (laughs) .

Ali Macofsky 7:56 ... dresses.

Joe Rogan 7:57 Especially now.

Ali Macofsky 7:58 You know what's fucked up?

Joe Rogan 7:59 What's fucked up?

Ali Macofsky 8:00 Okay, so here's the thing that I didn't know. So, my mom allocated, like, a certain amount of money for me and my two sisters for when we get married. Like, you know, X amount of dollars for wedding dress, you know? And last year, I think, like, 2020, when I did my 2019 taxes or 2020 taxes or something, I didn't realize with comedy, you're supposed to be... I've always been, like, a W-2 employee. I've worked at food, food, restaurants, like, whatever.

Joe Rogan 8:28 Oh, you haven't been paying your taxes.

Ali Macofsky 8:29 No, I have been.

Joe Rogan 8:30 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 8:30 I'm very diligent. I'm diligent. But I didn't realize that, like, with comedy, it's all, like, 1099s. You're, like, a private contractor of whatever club you're at. And so, I wasn't saving a portion of my comedy checks.

Joe Rogan 8:42 Yeah, you weren't paying any taxes. That's what I'm saying.

Ali Macofsky 8:45 Well, this was the first year that I had 1099s.

Joe Rogan 8:47 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 8:48 And so, I didn't realize that I was supposed to be putting money away for taxes.

Joe Rogan 8:52 Oh, my God.

Ali Macofsky 8:52 So, my mom's like, "Do you want to get married, or do you want to pay your taxes?" And so, I was like, "Help me pay my taxes." And I learned my lesson the hard way. I was freaking out.

Joe Rogan 9:00 There was a bunch of guys in Boston that were, uh, like big-time headliners that got paid in cash. And then-

Ali Macofsky 9:07 (sighs) What a dream.

Joe Rogan 9:07 Yeah. And they like to do coke.

Ali Macofsky 9:09 Sure.

Joe Rogan 9:10 And they were partying.

Ali Macofsky 9:11 Sure.

Joe Rogan 9:11 And they didn't pay their taxes for, like, a decade, and they all got hit. And once the IRS hit one of them, then they realized all these other guys are doing the same thing. And so, Boston had, like, these really big local headliners. It's a very rare place where they would have headliners that were local guys that could sell out every weekend in a row.

Ali Macofsky 9:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:34 It was crazy. And people would come and see the same act over and over and over again. It was a very unusual place.

Ali Macofsky 9:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:38 But these guys were going hard for more than a decade, two decades, even. And then a lot of them got popped, and they owed hundreds of thousands of dollars, hundreds of thousands in back taxes. And then you're just saddled down by this debt, thinking about all those times you just blew it on golf clubs and-

Ali Macofsky 9:57 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:58 ... cars and-

Ali Macofsky 9:58 You rethink everything you've ever done.

Joe Rogan 10:00 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 10:00 You're like, "Why, why did I get coffee ever?"

Joe Rogan 10:03 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 10:03 "I can run on water. I don't need to go to Starbucks."

Joe Rogan 10:06 How much did you wind up owing?

Ali Macofsky 10:08 I think I owed maybe around $8,000, which might seem like pennies. Uh-

Joe Rogan 10:14 It's a lot.

Ali Macofsky 10:14 ... it's a lot.

Joe Rogan 10:15 That's real money.

Ali Macofsky 10:16 When you're, like, collecting unemployment for COVID, and you're like, "Can I use unemployment to pay my tax..." You know? Like, it was scary, and I did not want to, like, owe interest on it. So, luckily, my mom helped a lot, and I'm, like, so grateful for that. Because it also, like, taught me... Now I save a third. Every time I make money, I'm like, "Put that shit away."

Joe Rogan 10:35 I can't believe you didn't know. That's, that's kind of crazy.

Ali Macofsky 10:38 I know. Well, no one, like, tells you.

Joe Rogan 10:40 You're, you're not that young.

Ali Macofsky 10:40 No one tells you when you get into... I just didn't know anything. Like, you never... I, personally, was so naive when I got into standup. I never thought about, like, all of the outside things that are involved in standup, you know? So, I feel like I'm still learning.

Joe Rogan 10:53 Like, what are the other outside things?

Ali Macofsky 10:55 I feel like now, with, I don't know, just like, f- like booking my own flights to get to shows, or, like, promoting my own shows, and ticket sales, and, um... I don't know, just all these, like, weird things that come up along the way. Like, when I came to Texas, I'm like, "Am I supposed to rent a car? Do I fly to each place? Like, where do I..." I don't know. I just-

Joe Rogan 11:15 You didn't know about all that? 'Cause you were going with other people before.

Ali Macofsky 11:18 Before, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:19 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 11:19 I'd go with Santino on the road, Tony, and so, I just had to show up, be on time, bring a suitcase.

Joe Rogan 11:25 Right, yeah.

Ali Macofsky 11:25 Have some underwear to change into, you know? That's pretty much all I had to do. And now, I'm... Now, I'm the dude trying to figure out all the plans.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Right, and now you're headlining.

Ali Macofsky 11:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:35 And so, you also have to deal with shitty middle acts.

Ali Macofsky 11:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:40 Ooh.

Ali Macofsky 11:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:41 Have you done Florida yet?

Ali Macofsky 11:43 I love Florida. I have not done, like, an official headlining spot there.

Joe Rogan 11:48 I love Florida, too. They have the worst acts ever to open for you.

Ali Macofsky 11:51 I-

Joe Rogan 11:51 It's almost like they do it on purpose.

Ali Macofsky 11:52 100%. My buddy, Shaw, lives out there. Worst dude I've ever seen.

Joe Rogan 11:56 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 11:56 I love him.

Joe Rogan 11:57 Don't say that online.

Ali Macofsky 11:58 He's not, he's not. I'm, I'm, I'm giving him a hard time. He's great. I love him.

Joe Rogan 12:02 There's something about Florida road acts, though, where you're just like, "Jesus." Like, you, you can't listen.

Ali Macofsky 12:07 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:07 You have to, you have to hide.

Ali Macofsky 12:09 That's the thing about, like...... being in a major city like LA or New York is you can be shitty in LA or New York, you know. There's plenty of people who suck at comedy in big places, you know.

Joe Rogan 12:20 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 12:21 But you're surrounded by people who are also very good. So, you either grow out of that and, like, keep working and growing over time, or-

Joe Rogan 12:30 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 12:30 ... you know, you don't get to see that as often and you kind of stay stuck.

Joe Rogan 12:34 Yeah. Well, I think Miami has a community now. I was there a few years back and they were telling me that there's, like, a pretty decent community in Miami. I know Schulz is in Miami now, and he's been doing a lot of gigs. You know, I think, um, it's just, uh, cities need a scene, you know. If they don't have a scene... Austin has a very nice scene.

Ali Macofsky 12:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:52 You know, like, even though, uh, Cap City went under, there's still plenty... There's, like, a couple of new local clubs. There's this, this Sunset Strip club. There's the Romo Room. There's, um, Vulcan Gas Company. The Paramount is still doing shows.

Ali Macofsky 13:07 I just saw Marc Norman last night.

Joe Rogan 13:08 He was there this weekend. Yeah. Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 13:09 Yeah. I went to his show. It was so funny.

Joe Rogan 13:11 Oh, he was there last night too?

Ali Macofsky 13:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:12 Oh, I didn't know he was there last night.

Ali Macofsky 13:12 I think they added a show, so I went.

Joe Rogan 13:15 Shit.

Ali Macofsky 13:15 Oh, it was so fun. Eddie Pepitone was just here. He was at The Creek and The Cave.

Joe Rogan 13:20 Yeah, that's the new one, right?

Ali Macofsky 13:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:22 That's... How many does that seat? Seats, like, 90 or something?

Ali Macofsky 13:24 I don't know. It's pretty intimate, 'cause right now they just have the outdoor space.

Joe Rogan 13:27 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 13:27 I think they're working on the indoor space.

Joe Rogan 13:29 Oh, they have an outdoor space?

Ali Macofsky 13:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:30 Oh, so it was an outdoor show.

Ali Macofsky 13:31 It was an outdoor show.

Joe Rogan 13:33 The scene here's good. Like, when we've done Kill Tony here, the local opening acts are very funny.

Ali Macofsky 13:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:38 There's, like, a good amount of r- real good talent in this city.

Ali Macofsky 13:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:42 So, it's cool.

Ali Macofsky 13:43 Yeah. I'm gonna go tonight to Kill Tony.

Joe Rogan 13:45 Nice.

Ali Macofsky 13:46 I'm excited.

Joe Rogan 13:47 And the music scene here's fucking incredible. There's so many good bands here, so many good musicians and artists, and it's just... It's a good scene. It's a good scene.

Ali Macofsky 13:57 Do you think you're in a honeymoon phase right now?

Joe Rogan 13:59 Um, no. I've been coming here since the '90s.

Ali Macofsky 14:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:02 I've always loved Austin.

Ali Macofsky 14:03 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 14:03 I'm happy. COVID gave me a nice excuse.

Ali Macofsky 14:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:06 It's just... The lower population density is nice.

Ali Macofsky 14:10 'Cause it's so big. It's so spread out, you know.

Joe Rogan 14:12 Well, it's just the numbers of people here is s- so minor-

Ali Macofsky 14:15 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:16 ... in comparison to LA.

Ali Macofsky 14:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:17 You know, it's not even close. And it, it is spread out, but it's just people are more chilled here. It's... And there's no... There's... The, the Hollywood influen- like, the... There's an artistic influence here, as opposed to, like, a I-wanna-be-famous influence. You know?

Ali Macofsky 14:32 Yeah. But at the same time, I feel like maybe with all the big comedians like yourself coming out here, it is kind of bringing...

Joe Rogan 14:42 We're gonna ruin it.

Ali Macofsky 14:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:44 Say it. Just say it. We're gonna ruin it.

Ali Macofsky 14:45 Not you're g- you're not gonna ruin it, but there will be a time when people will think that this is a shortcut.

Joe Rogan 14:51 Oh. A shortcut? There's no shortcuts in comedy.

Ali Macofsky 14:54 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 14:54 But d- you can't think that way. You're the... Well, first of all, y- you know, comedy is one of the true meritocracies. Because if, if you don't do well, if the people don't laugh, it stops. There's a few people that are exceptions to that rule, that have figured out a way to carve their way deep into the pores like some sort of a strange parasite.

Ali Macofsky 15:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:14 But for the most part, for the most part.

Ali Macofsky 15:18 Yeah. Everyone's coming out here.

Joe Rogan 15:20 Hmm, not everyone.

Ali Macofsky 15:21 Some people.

Joe Rogan 15:22 Some people went to Nashville.

Ali Macofsky 15:24 Yeah? That's a ni-

Joe Rogan 15:25 You know, Theo-

Ali Macofsky 15:25 I've never been.

Joe Rogan 15:25 ... C Byrne, they went to Nashville. Nashville's great. And, you know, they got that Zanies club, which is one of the best clubs in the country. It's a great place to work out of.

Ali Macofsky 15:33 Yeah, there's so many places I haven't been.

Joe Rogan 15:35 You've never been to Nashville?

Ali Macofsky 15:36 Never been to Nashville.

Joe Rogan 15:38 Bitch, I gotta take you to Nashville.

Ali Macofsky 15:39 Take me to Nashville. When are you doing a show out there?

Joe Rogan 15:41 Um, well, I had a show booked with Chappelle.

Ali Macofsky 15:44 Oh, how have those been?

Joe Rogan 15:46 Fun. Real fun.

Ali Macofsky 15:47 I have so much FOMO.

Joe Rogan 15:49 Yeah, sorry about that.

Ali Macofsky 15:50 Watching everyone's Stories out here-

Joe Rogan 15:51 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 15:51 ... I'm just in bed eating Hot Cheetos.

Joe Rogan 15:54 Hot Cheetos are fucking surprisingly good.

Ali Macofsky 15:56 Oh, have you tried Takis?

Joe Rogan 15:58 No.

Ali Macofsky 15:58 Oh, it's like... I was, like, a loyal Hot Cheetos gal. Hot Cheetos were the best, and then I tried Takis, and I was like-

Joe Rogan 16:04 What is a Taki? How do you spell it?

Ali Macofsky 16:06 T-A-K-I-apostrophe-S.

Joe Rogan 16:08 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 16:09 And they have all these cr-... There's, like, a blue one that's psycho. I haven't tried that, but... It's almost like a Frito, like a, like a corn chip-

Joe Rogan 16:17 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 16:18 ... but it's rolled up into a little roll, and then they have hot dust all over it.

Joe Rogan 16:22 Hot dust? Okay.

Ali Macofsky 16:23 I don't know what the ingredient is for that, but it gets my butthole going every time.

Joe Rogan 16:27 (laughs) Whoo.

Ali Macofsky 16:27 I love it. You need to wake up, you're just, like, throwing some Takis, get set.

Joe Rogan 16:32 Yeah. They have ridiculous Tex-Mex out here. Just a lot of that.

Ali Macofsky 16:37 Yeah. It's like-

Joe Rogan 16:37 It's, it's a weird combination of, you know, Mexican food and whatever they're doing to it, they call it Tex-Mex.

Ali Macofsky 16:44 Yeah. Texican-Mexican.

Joe Rogan 16:45 A lot of queso. Like, queso, for whatever reason, I don't understand this, never caught on outside of Texas.

Ali Macofsky 16:53 Do you think it's 'cause it's just not good enough? It's, like, one of those things where-

Joe Rogan 16:57 No, it's fucking amazing.

Ali Macofsky 16:58 It's really good. I know.

Joe Rogan 16:58 Queso's amazing. It's delicious. Queso with chips, it's so good.

Ali Macofsky 17:01 Yeah, I don't know why more people don't do it.

Joe Rogan 17:03 I don't know. It's like a... But I don't think it's a real cheese.

Guest 17:07 Is there a difference between queso and nachos?

Ali Macofsky 17:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:10 Yeah, you fucking communist. Jesus Christ.

Guest 17:12 I'm asking. What is it?

Joe Rogan 17:13 (laughs)

Guest 17:13 What is it?

Joe Rogan 17:13 Queso is a dip. Nachos is... The stuff is a- on the outside, it's mostly cheese and sour cream and jalapenos and meat.

Guest 17:21 Oh, okay. All right.

Joe Rogan 17:22 It's a totally different thing. Queso is, like, a bowl of, like... It's like a... It's like a liquid cheese. I don't think it's real cheese. I think it's, like, a Velveeta type deal.

Ali Macofsky 17:31 For sure. I want... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:32 It's probably super bad for you.

Guest 17:33 But it's just the cheese?

Joe Rogan 17:34 Let's... Yes. It's, it's just the cheese. But sometimes-

Ali Macofsky 17:37 But it also has, like-

Joe Rogan 17:38 ... it has meat in it.

Guest 17:39 Right, right. Yeah, okay.

Joe Rogan 17:39 Sometimes it has, uh-

Ali Macofsky 17:40 Like peppers.

Guest 17:41 Soto na-

Joe Rogan 17:41 Yeah, minced peppers.

Guest 17:42 It's like the soto nachos though.

Ali Macofsky 17:43 Toma queso.

Joe Rogan 17:44 No, no, but it's a bowl.

Guest 17:45 Not just the cheese on-

Joe Rogan 17:45 It's a bowl you dip into.

Guest 17:47 Okay, okay, okay.

Joe Rogan 17:47 So, you would get... With queso and chips, you get, like, a bowl of chips. It's-

Guest 17:50 I've had it. I'm just like... I'm like, how is this not... This is just chips and cheese though I've had this everywhere.

Joe Rogan 17:56 You're so white.

Guest 17:57 Well-

Joe Rogan 17:57 Think I'm so white.

Guest 17:58 ... I'm from Ohio.

Joe Rogan 17:58 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 18:00 (laughs) What do you think, Joe?

Guest 18:01 What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 18:01 (laughs) If you just Google... Let's find out what are the ingredients of queso. 'Cause I don't think it's cheese. I think it's like a Velveeta deal.

Ali Macofsky 18:08 Sometimes you'll have bad queso and you're just li-... You're like, "Did you just heat up half-and-half?"

Joe Rogan 18:12 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 18:12 "What is this?"

Joe Rogan 18:13 There's a place out here that I need to go to that everybody talks about. It's called Matt's El Rancho. It's supposed to be the shit. Have you been?

Guest 18:18 Mm-hmm. I've had... So, I've had... And I've had their-

Joe Rogan 18:20 How is it?

Guest 18:20 It's chili con queso.

Joe Rogan 18:21 Is it the sh-

Guest 18:22 Very good, but I was like, "This is just cheese and beef?"

Joe Rogan 18:25 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 18:25 Are you-

Joe Rogan 18:26 Well, that's chili con queso, it's like beef and the cheese. Queso is cheese in Mexican. Or Spanish, excuse me.

Guest 18:33 I, ingredients of queso brings up chili con queso, that's why I said it.

Ali Macofsky 18:36 Hmm.

Guest 18:36 Mexican cheese dip.

Ali Macofsky 18:37 Hmm. Yeah, they do use some-

Joe Rogan 18:39 Chili pepper, tomatoes.

Ali Macofsky 18:39 ... Velveeta.

Joe Rogan 18:40 Yeah. Velveeta, I think is the main deal, and cream cheese, wow.

Ali Macofsky 18:43 Oh, I love cream cheese.

Joe Rogan 18:45 Cream cheese is pretty goddamn good.

Guest 18:46 Okay.

Joe Rogan 18:46 I wish bagels were good for you.

Ali Macofsky 18:48 I know.

Joe Rogan 18:49 I wish they were. They make me, they get, they, it's like I got hit with a tranquilizer dart-

Ali Macofsky 18:53 Oh.

Joe Rogan 18:53 ... when I eat a bagel. I'm like, "Ugh."

Ali Macofsky 18:54 You're out after that. Every Christmas my dad does like a Jewish platter spread, so he'll make bagels, white fish, cod-

Joe Rogan 19:01 Mm.

Ali Macofsky 19:01 ... lox, and we just get this whole spread. And then I'm just like sitting on the couch in my Christmas PJs that are all matching with my siblings, just gassing it up.

Joe Rogan 19:11 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 19:12 And then you're like opening presents and you're like, "What is it, a gift card to Applebee's? Great, just what I wanted right now."

Joe Rogan 19:17 That's what you usually got?

Ali Macofsky 19:18 No. I got some good stuff.

Joe Rogan 19:20 Did you?

Ali Macofsky 19:21 Yeah, 'cause I used to be such a brat, it's so, and it's like embarrassing.

Joe Rogan 19:24 You used to be a brat?

Ali Macofsky 19:25 I'm still kind of a brat. I'm, I'm growing out of it.

Joe Rogan 19:28 Really?

Ali Macofsky 19:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:29 How come I don't see that side of you ever?

Ali Macofsky 19:30 'Cause that's just my family. I feel like when you're-

Joe Rogan 19:32 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 19:32 ... with your family, it's like the child in you comes out.

Joe Rogan 19:35 Yeah, you revert.

Ali Macofsky 19:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:36 Do you ever feel like that... Well, where'd you grow up?

Ali Macofsky 19:38 I grew up in Long Beach.

Joe Rogan 19:39 D- when you go back to Long Beach, do you feel like whatever weird shit-

Ali Macofsky 19:42 Oh, it's weird.

Joe Rogan 19:43 ... you still have?

Ali Macofsky 19:44 I still drive by my first boyfriend's house.

Joe Rogan 19:46 Oh, do you?

Ali Macofsky 19:47 Sometimes.

Joe Rogan 19:47 Do you honk your horn? "Fuck you."

Ali Macofsky 19:48 Well, it's embarrassing 'cause he lives in a cul-de-sac, so if he were to ever see me, he'd know that I was only there to like stop by his place.

Joe Rogan 19:55 I thought you were gonna say he lives in a cult.

Ali Macofsky 19:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:57 You got to cult, and I was like-

Ali Macofsky 19:58 I don't know what he's up to now, he might be.

Joe Rogan 20:00 ... "Oh, Jesus, what is this?" Yeah, that's weird.

Ali Macofsky 20:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:02 Does he know what kind of car you drive?

Ali Macofsky 20:04 Not anymore. When I'm, when I, when I first got a car, I had a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and now-

Joe Rogan 20:08 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 20:08 ... I've, I've upgraded to a Kia Sportage 2018, used.

Joe Rogan 20:13 Woo! Woo!

Ali Macofsky 20:13 Yeah, I don't wanna flex too much on this podcast, but...

Joe Rogan 20:17 When y- when I used to go back to high school, like to where I went to high school with, I felt like a fucking tremendous loser, like always. Just being around it brought back the-

Ali Macofsky 20:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:26 ... exact feelings that I felt like when I was in high school.

Ali Macofsky 20:29 I sat-

Joe Rogan 20:30 It's weird.

Ali Macofsky 20:30 ... in the bathroom at lunch in high school. And it wasn't like, it was this weird thing where I just felt different than everyone. Like I wasn't bullied really, I mean, I'm sure I had m- like the moments of like, "Everyone hates me, they said this," but I wasn't like bullied in any way, but I just was like, I was friends with everyone but I didn't feel like I had a place.

Joe Rogan 20:49 You know, I think a lot of people feel that way.

Ali Macofsky 20:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:52 I think more people feel that way than feel like they have a place. It's just this transitionary period when you're an, a teenager, where everything feels off.

Ali Macofsky 21:00 Well, and it's like in high school everyone kind of has their groups, like there's, you know, the jocks and the pretty girls-

Joe Rogan 21:06 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 21:07 ... and the athletes, whatever, and I just never felt like I really fit into a group.

Joe Rogan 21:13 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 21:13 And so I would just sit alone in the bathroom and, I don't know, it's so weird looking back and then how miserable I was in high school. I was like so depressed.

Joe Rogan 21:23 Yeah, my friends from high school all went to the other school on the other side of town. They went to Newton North-

Ali Macofsky 21:29 Oh.

Joe Rogan 21:29 ... I went to Newton South. But my friends from, that are, that I'm still friends with to this day, didn't even go to high school with me. They were on the other si- they were on the other side of town.

Ali Macofsky 21:37 How'd you guys meet? Parties?

Joe Rogan 21:39 Ju- s- you know, just, uh, being around the same town, you know?

Ali Macofsky 21:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:42 S- Newton's small, it's a small suburb of LA. I forgot how quaint it is.

Ali Macofsky 21:46 Named after, named after Wayne?

Joe Rogan 21:48 Yes.

Ali Macofsky 21:49 Okay.

Joe Rogan 21:49 Named after, yeah.

Ali Macofsky 21:51 I love that dude.

Joe Rogan 21:52 Do you?

Ali Macofsky 21:52 I love like Vegas acts.

Joe Rogan 21:53 << Dunk a shame >>

Ali Macofsky 21:55 << Darling, don't... >>

Joe Rogan 21:56 I remember that first time I heard that, I'm like, "W- who is this girl that sings this song?"

Ali Macofsky 22:00 My sister did the same thing, she said-

Joe Rogan 22:02 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 22:02 ... "Guess, guess who sings this?" And I was like, "Obviously a young lady with a beautiful voice that came from angels." And she was like, "It's a dude who now looks like a lady."

Joe Rogan 22:13 Well, he l- he has similar characteristics to older ladies, in that he's-

Ali Macofsky 22:18 I think I-

Joe Rogan 22:18 ... he's working his face up.

Ali Macofsky 22:19 ... I think read something though that he has, Jamie, you know what I'm about to say, pull it up baby, there's something I think that he has.

Joe Rogan 22:29 Like a disease?

Ali Macofsky 22:29 Something.

Joe Rogan 22:30 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 22:30 I don't wanna say, I don't wanna bad mouth-

Joe Rogan 22:32 But he is, uh-

Ali Macofsky 22:33 ... my hero.

Joe Rogan 22:33 ... quite elderly.

Ali Macofsky 22:35 Yeah, but I think he ha- I don't know, maybe I read it on some fake-

Joe Rogan 22:38 Do you know Robert Redford's almost 90?

Ali Macofsky 22:40 He's alive?

Joe Rogan 22:41 Yes.

Ali Macofsky 22:42 Wow, good for him.

Joe Rogan 22:43 Good for him.

Ali Macofsky 22:43 Good for him.

Joe Rogan 22:44 Yeah, he's almost 90. I saw, uh, something on something where they were like, "Robert Redford!"

Ali Macofsky 22:50 He used to be a babe from what I've heard.

Joe Rogan 22:52 ... brooch is ni- Oh yeah, he was a handsome fella.

Ali Macofsky 22:53 All the ladies used to pull their skirts up from their ankles when they saw him.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Oh, they, back in the day?

Ali Macofsky 22:57 Back in the day-

Joe Rogan 22:58 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 22:58 ... they were like, "Sh- I'll show you my ankles, Robbie."

Joe Rogan 23:01 They, they pulled their clogs off.

Ali Macofsky 23:02 This is pretty good.

Joe Rogan 23:03 It's not right?

Ali Macofsky 23:04 Yeah. I'm like a little nervous, my first CBD trip. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:08 It doesn't do anything to you. You'll be fine.

Ali Macofsky 23:09 But then why do people do, that's the thing.

Joe Rogan 23:11 Well, CBD is good for inflammation-

Ali Macofsky 23:14 Okay.

Joe Rogan 23:14 ... and it helps some people with, if you have anxiety it helps people sleep, it helps, uh, but it helps with joint pain and inflammation.

Ali Macofsky 23:21 Okay.

Joe Rogan 23:21 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 23:22 I'll, I'll-

Joe Rogan 23:23 That's a, this is a mild dose. These, these Kill Cliffs have, uh, 25 milligrams of CBD, which is not, you know, fairly mild.

Ali Macofsky 23:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:31 Yeah. I like a couple hundred at a time, but I, uh, like on some days... There he is.

Ali Macofsky 23:35 Do you ever shotgun him?

Joe Rogan 23:37 Look at that. Um, n- I mean a couple hundred milligrams at a time, like this-

Ali Macofsky 23:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:40 I get my, most of my CBD from actual supplements. What is that? Show me that again, Jamie.

Guest 23:45 That's just, it's just young Wayne, I can't find anything-

Joe Rogan 23:47 Wow.

Ali Macofsky 23:47 Oh, maybe I made that up.

Guest 23:48 ... periodontal disease or anything, yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:49 So that, see the picture of him in the middle?

Ali Macofsky 23:50 Yeah, the middle top one?

Joe Rogan 23:52 Yeah. See, that's not...

Ali Macofsky 23:54 But I thought I read that there was like something, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 23:59 Well, he's, he, clearly he's had a little bit of plastic surgery. But that's the problem is that, huh, you just, that shit doesn't make you look good, it just makes you look different.

Ali Macofsky 24:08 I'm gonna get jacked up on that.

Joe Rogan 24:10 On plastic surgery?

Ali Macofsky 24:11 Oh, yeah. I'm just gonna be tiny.

Joe Rogan 24:11 What do you think you're gonna do, get a cat face?

Ali Macofsky 24:13 Well, I, I, uh, I got small little baby white girl lips, and you know-

Joe Rogan 24:17 And you wanna get them plumped?

Ali Macofsky 24:17 ... when I smile my lip just plays hide and seek with me, it's like, "Where'd she go?"

Joe Rogan 24:21 You ever use the filter on Snapchat? Make some-

Ali Macofsky 24:23 Oh, it's dangerous.

Joe Rogan 24:24 Make some giant-

Ali Macofsky 24:25 The duck face filter?

Joe Rogan 24:26 Yeah. There's a filter that makes your lips fat and shiny.

Ali Macofsky 24:29 And then it makes your cheeks all juicy.

Joe Rogan 24:30 Oh, does it?

Ali Macofsky 24:31 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:32 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 24:32 Pumps the cheeks up.

Joe Rogan 24:34 Do you wish you had better lips?

Ali Macofsky 24:36 Um-

Joe Rogan 24:36 Maybe you wouldn't be as funny if you were hotter.

Ali Macofsky 24:38 I know. I know.

Joe Rogan 24:39 ... think about it.

Ali Macofsky 24:39 When I... Yeah. I know. It's hard.

Joe Rogan 24:41 Think about it.

Ali Macofsky 24:41 It's a hard balance. You don't want to be some, you know, garbage troll.

Joe Rogan 24:46 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 24:48 But you don't want to be too sexy.

Joe Rogan 24:50 You gotta keep it-

Ali Macofsky 24:50 I had a guy tell me after a show, he said, "I don't get why you dress down on stage." And I'm like, "What do you want me to do, wear a bikini on stage? Do you want to throw money at me?" I'll take getting thrown money at, but...

Joe Rogan 25:02 I think men just try to find a way to criticize a girl to put her on her heels, so that, like, you get a little defensive. And so, you're not... Y- you know, you feel uncomfortable. So, he probably feels uncomfortable, so he wants you to feel uncomfortable. So he says something like that, like, "Why don't you dress nicer?" And you're like, "Oh, what? Why don't I dress ni-" So, then you get defensive-

Ali Macofsky 25:21 I don't give a fuck about what people say about how I dress.

Joe Rogan 25:24 Wow, look at you.

Ali Macofsky 25:25 I mean, I probably do. I'm, like, crying at night, "Why did he say I look like that?"

Joe Rogan 25:29 But you know what it is? It's like inside, that's probably the little psychological game he's playing. He probably doesn't feel comfortable with the fact that he's insecure around you. So, uh... Plus, he sees you vaping, you look kind of cool. Blow it out. Show everybody. Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 25:43 What's up, Post Malone?

Joe Rogan 25:45 Who gives a fuck about lung damage?

Ali Macofsky 25:47 Yeah. I, uh... Yeah, it's so interesting because it's like, I get... I would... I get objectified looking like, you know, whatever he thinks I look like. A- a troll on stage, you know? Like, so if I'm trying to do it up and show off my body and, like, look really sexy on stage, which just... That doesn't feel comfortable to me. I like wearing baggy pants, I like wearing baggy shirts. Like, I just feel good when I just look like that. And so, if I'm already getting objectified-

Joe Rogan 26:14 How are you getting objectified?

Ali Macofsky 26:16 Just, like, DMs and comments and stuff.

Joe Rogan 26:18 Is that objectified or is it just being hit on? 'Cause if it's a guy-

Ali Macofsky 26:22 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 26:22 ... are you being objectified if girls send you DMs? Are you being objectified?

Ali Macofsky 26:25 I don't know about the ins and outs. That's just the word I know.

Joe Rogan 26:27 The prob-... That- that objectified is a weird thing because it's like this pejorative that always gets used, and I'm not always sure if it's the accurate thing to say. 'Cause for sure men do objectify women sometimes. Like, some men look at a woman like, "Oh, I just want to stick it in your hole."

Ali Macofsky 26:42 Well, that's what my messages are for sure.

Joe Rogan 26:44 I want to stick it in your hole. That's it?

Ali Macofsky 26:45 Oh, yeah. So... Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:47 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 26:47 I would love to show you my messages.

Joe Rogan 26:48 I'm sure some guys do that to, like, any girl they run into.

Ali Macofsky 26:52 W- yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:53 Right? Don't you think, though, that it's, like, really dumb magic tricks? Like, "Let's go, let me see if I can trick you." You know, like, it's... You're gonna have, like, really sophisticated con artists, like Bernie Madoff, and then you're gonna have really bad magicians, right? That are doing obvious tricks. And it's like good comedy versus bad comedy. It's like a terrible movie versus a fucking amazing movie.

Ali Macofsky 27:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:14 It's like everything else. There's levels to it. And what you're getting in those DMs is just the hit version, like hit on you version of, like, a really shitty song or a really shitty story that someone wrote. That's what you're getting.

Ali Macofsky 27:28 Yeah. Yeah. I just... I feel comfortable the way I look on stage.

Joe Rogan 27:31 Okay, we'll get back to your shoe. You just... Whatever you want to wear.

Ali Macofsky 27:35 Um... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:35 Just... That's fine.

Ali Macofsky 27:36 Yeah, it's just-

Joe Rogan 27:36 Don't worry. Don't... Don't think about it. Just be you.

Ali Macofsky 27:40 Okay.

Joe Rogan 27:41 Fuck that dude.

Ali Macofsky 27:42 Fuck that dude.

Joe Rogan 27:42 Fuck all of them.

Ali Macofsky 27:42 No, he's a... He's a nice guy. He was drunk.

Joe Rogan 27:44 Maybe he's not.

Ali Macofsky 27:45 He's a nice guy.

Joe Rogan 27:46 Maybe he just wants to stick it in your hole.

Ali Macofsky 27:47 He does. He told me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:49 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 27:49 That was revealed later on in the conversation.

Joe Rogan 27:52 It's... It's gotta be weird being a girl.

Ali Macofsky 27:54 It is weird. It's kinda... It's fun though, you know?

Joe Rogan 27:57 When girls go lesbian, I go, "I get it. I get it."

Ali Macofsky 28:00 I've tried.

Joe Rogan 28:01 Yeah?

Ali Macofsky 28:01 I go through seasons of lesbianism. Every once in a while, I'm like, "Maybe..."

Joe Rogan 28:06 Seasons?

Ali Macofsky 28:07 I go through seasons, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:08 Like baseball season? A few months?

Ali Macofsky 28:09 I'm like, "Oh, it's fall. It's fall, I need a woman around."

Joe Rogan 28:12 Yeah?

Ali Macofsky 28:13 Yeah, but I don't know. I- I... There's, like, a disconnect. I get really weird in intimate situations. So, I'm like, "Am I gay or do I just, like, get uncomfortable around everyone?"

Joe Rogan 28:22 Hm.

Ali Macofsky 28:23 Also, when I was growing up, everyone would call me a lesbian. And so, growing up, I was like, "I'm a lesbian. Everyone already knows this. They've told me I'm a lesbian."

Joe Rogan 28:31 Who called you a lesbian? You-

Ali Macofsky 28:32 My sisters.

Joe Rogan 28:33 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 28:34 They're, like, seven and five years older than me, so-

Joe Rogan 28:36 How did they say it?

Ali Macofsky 28:37 They... Well, okay, so I had really hairy legs growing up because my dad's, like, Russian and, you know, all that. So, I just have like thick, dark leg hair that came in early.

Joe Rogan 28:49 Whoa.

Ali Macofsky 28:49 And so my sisters are like, "Oh..." You know, back then, everyone calls everything, like, gay and stuff. And they were, like, growing up and just-

Joe Rogan 28:55 Back then? You're fucking 12 years old. You're talking about a couple-

Ali Macofsky 28:58 I was... I was like-

Joe Rogan 28:59 ... a couple weeks ago.

Ali Macofsky 28:59 (laughs) I was in, like, third grade, so I was, like, six or seven.

Joe Rogan 29:02 Okay.

Ali Macofsky 29:03 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 29:03 You just didn't shave your legs?

Ali Macofsky 29:05 No, 'cause I was in the third... Well, I did.

Joe Rogan 29:06 When do kids shave their legs?

Ali Macofsky 29:07 I started in third grade 'cause e- ev- everyone called... My sisters called me a lesbian and stuff. And then-

Joe Rogan 29:11 So, you had to shave your legs?

Ali Macofsky 29:12 Yeah, because I was like... They were making it sound like it was a bad thing.

Joe Rogan 29:16 To be a lesbian?

Ali Macofsky 29:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:17 Hm. So, they were-

Ali Macofsky 29:18 My sisters are gonna fucking hate this. They're good people, but they were like, you know-

Joe Rogan 29:22 Well, back then, they weren't.

Ali Macofsky 29:23 Back then, they weren't.

Joe Rogan 29:24 They've gotten better.

Ali Macofsky 29:24 They've grown, yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:25 Yeah. So, they would just give you a hard time?

Ali Macofsky 29:27 Yeah, they were just being big sisters, giving me a hard time. And so, then I, like, took it very personally and seriously.

Joe Rogan 29:32 The leg hair thing is very strange. If you just stop and think about it, like, guys don't have to do jack shit about their leg hair.

Ali Macofsky 29:38 No.

Joe Rogan 29:38 And no one cares.

Ali Macofsky 29:39 No one gives a fuck.

Joe Rogan 29:40 But girls-

Ali Macofsky 29:40 And no one talks about... Guys...

Joe Rogan 29:43 Hear this.

Ali Macofsky 29:44 This is how you know I'm about to say some real shit. Guys always talk crap about girls not being, uh, kept up down there and shaved or whatever these guys y- my age are into. They want Mr. Clean down in the pants, you know? And, like-

Joe Rogan 30:00 They want your bush trimmed.

Ali Macofsky 30:02 Yeah. They want it... They want it bald.

Joe Rogan 30:04 That's how-

Ali Macofsky 30:04 They want a bald eagle.

Joe Rogan 30:06 Okay.

Ali Macofsky 30:06 But then they have the nastiest balls, and girls are like-

Joe Rogan 30:09 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 30:09 ... "Oh, it'd be an honor to give you a blowjob." That shit's disgusting. It's different hair than your regular hair. It's thick. Your... I didn't even know that balls changed texture in different weather. It's-

Joe Rogan 30:20 What?

Ali Macofsky 30:21 Yeah, like... Like the-

Joe Rogan 30:22 What?

Ali Macofsky 30:22 Like the skin.

Joe Rogan 30:23 Changes texture?

Ali Macofsky 30:24 Kind of. It's like... It just like... It- it looks like an alien. It's so... Jamie knows what I'm talking about. Jamie's giving me a little-

Joe Rogan 30:30 Jamie, do your balls change texture in different weather?

Guest 30:32 Nah, not really. I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 30:33 I don't see how.

Ali Macofsky 30:33 Jamie. Jamie, stay on my side.

Guest 30:34 You ever did that guy we saw with Tom Segura's had a little different texture, but-

Joe Rogan 30:38 Oh, yeah. That was rough.

Guest 30:39 ... it's a unique situation.

Joe Rogan 30:40 The guy with the giant balls? Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 30:41 I haven't seen this.

Joe Rogan 30:42 Just some sad thing, but the guys have... Some guy had-

Ali Macofsky 30:45 Like elephantitis?

Joe Rogan 30:46 Yeah. He had... It's a... It's p- not common, but common enough where there's multiple examples of it, where guys have enormous, like-... beach ball-sized testicles, and they can barely get around.

Ali Macofsky 30:58 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 30:59 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 30:59 It's a shame that there's no, you know, like, um, like when girls have giant tits, it's like, "Hell yes." There needs to be, like, a movement for men-

Joe Rogan 31:08 With giant balls?

Ali Macofsky 31:09 ... who have giant balls. Yeah. Like, Instagram photos of their balls on the beach. Like, "Can I stay?"

Joe Rogan 31:13 No, you don't understand how big these are.

Ali Macofsky 31:15 Like, massive?

Joe Rogan 31:16 Yeah. He can't walk. Like-

Ali Macofsky 31:17 What does he wear? Skirts?

Joe Rogan 31:18 Yeah. He has to wear, like, a skirt.

Ali Macofsky 31:20 Like a kilt?

Joe Rogan 31:20 Yeah. And they have to cover, he has to cover his balls with, like, a tarp. And, like, while he was eating his, his balls were out in, on YouTube apparently, because it's, like, not sexy at all. You're allowed to show that guy's balls.

Ali Macofsky 31:31 Well, they probably don't even register as balls for YouTube. Like, whoever has to scan the videos is like, "Who's to say what this is."

Joe Rogan 31:36 Well, it's like a medical condition more than it is balls. Whereas, like, if Jamie had his balls out of his pants, like-

Ali Macofsky 31:42 He does.

Joe Rogan 31:43 My friend-

Ali Macofsky 31:43 Have you looked over there?

Joe Rogan 31:44 My friend, Tom, when we were kids used to do this thing called sack walking.

Ali Macofsky 31:47 You put them up above the belt?

Joe Rogan 31:49 No. He would open the zipper, pull his sack out, and tuck his, his, his cock would still be in his pants but his, his balls would be out.

Ali Macofsky 31:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:56 He called it sack walking. He would just walk around. And at a party he'd have a drink, his balls were out, he'd call it sack walking. You know.

Guest 32:03 A little tougher than that.

Joe Rogan 32:04 That's that guy's balls.

Ali Macofsky 32:05 Oh, wow. See, weird texture.

Joe Rogan 32:08 Well, when you see the actual texture. You can see the actual texture, 'cause in the YouTube video they actually show the sack. They'll allow you to see.

Guest 32:17 There's nothing's going on every... There you go.

Joe Rogan 32:19 Yeah. See? Look at that.

Ali Macofsky 32:21 Yum.

Joe Rogan 32:21 You're allowed to look at it.

Ali Macofsky 32:23 Yeah. Looks like a peach pit.

Joe Rogan 32:24 And this poor bastard actually has a one-inch dick too, which is just...

Ali Macofsky 32:28 Is it actually one inches or in, like-

Joe Rogan 32:30 That's what he says.

Ali Macofsky 32:30 ... relative position.

Joe Rogan 32:31 He says it's one inch, he does, says he has a one-inch penis. So Mother Nature just gave him the shittiest deck of cards ever.

Ali Macofsky 32:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:40 Here's your hand. Good luck.

Ali Macofsky 32:42 Y-

Joe Rogan 32:42 Your hand of cards.

Ali Macofsky 32:43 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:44 Yeah. You got a one.

Ali Macofsky 32:47 Do you ever watch My 600-Pound Life?

Joe Rogan 32:49 I've watched a little bit of it.

Ali Macofsky 32:51 Oh, I love it.

Joe Rogan 32:51 Do you?

Ali Macofsky 32:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:52 Why?

Ali Macofsky 32:53 'Cause I relate in some ways.

Joe Rogan 32:55 In what way?

Ali Macofsky 32:56 Just, like-

Joe Rogan 32:56 You're not 600 pounds.

Ali Macofsky 32:57 Just in the, like, compulsion and the feeling that food gives me. Like, I, I went to, um, Cracker Barrel for the first time.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Congratulations.

Ali Macofsky 33:04 Have you been?

Joe Rogan 33:05 Of course, I have.

Ali Macofsky 33:06 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 33:06 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 33:08 It was so good. And they brought out this plate of biscuits and gravy, and I was, like, blushing. Like, I was, like, smirking and giddy and, like, so excited.

Joe Rogan 33:20 You were blushing?

Ali Macofsky 33:20 I was blushing.

Joe Rogan 33:22 Okay.

Ali Macofsky 33:23 And I just... Yeah. I'd, when I have a plate in front of me, there's no part of my brain that goes, "You've had enough. You don't need to finish all of this." My-

Joe Rogan 33:31 Of course, you got the baggy clothes too, so don't worry about it.

Ali Macofsky 33:33 Exactly. I can walk out-

Joe Rogan 33:34 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 33:34 ... unscathed. Be wheeled out soon. But yeah, I love, I love those shows.

Joe Rogan 33:43 Why do you like those shows? Do you feel like maybe you, you're okay because they're more fucked up than you?

Ali Macofsky 33:48 No. It's like a-

Joe Rogan 33:49 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 33:50 It's like a hand guide of what to do in 15 years.

Joe Rogan 33:53 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 33:53 I'm like, "Okay. So get a partner who will wash under my boob crevice."

Joe Rogan 33:57 Oh, okay. S-

Ali Macofsky 33:58 They always have very loyal partners.

Joe Rogan 34:00 You have to have-

Ali Macofsky 34:01 Which is nice.

Joe Rogan 34:01 ... if you're gonna be 600 fucking pounds.

Ali Macofsky 34:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:04 But there's gotta be some weird codependency shit there.

Ali Macofsky 34:06 Oh, 100%.

Joe Rogan 34:07 You m- there was one story about this, I think it was a lady, who had melted into the couch. Like, the fibers of her body had intertwined with the couch 'cause she hadn't gotten off the couch in so long. And I don't know how she shit and pissed, but it probably wasn't nice.

Ali Macofsky 34:26 I know at the beginning of COVID I was like, "I'm more worried about getting bedsores than COVID."

Joe Rogan 34:31 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 34:32 I'm just lounging.

Joe Rogan 34:34 Is that what you did?

Ali Macofsky 34:35 Yeah. When I was at my mom's house, I went... I was trying, I, I thought that, I was hoping that it would be done sooner. So I was like, "I'll just pretend I'm at Coachella." I was, like, tanning in the backyard, listening to EDM music, going crazy. And then once I realized that it was gonna be longer, I was like, "I gotta get out of this lady's house."

Joe Rogan 34:54 Yeah. A lot of people thought it was gonna be a two-week deal.

Ali Macofsky 34:56 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 34:57 Like they said, remember? "We're just gonna close everything down for two weeks." Meanwhile, California, a year later.

Ali Macofsky 35:03 Yeah. I mean, if we were... If the US was smaller like a place like New Zealand, that could've, you know, been helpful, but we're just too big and-

Joe Rogan 35:11 Well, it's not just that it's smaller. New Zealand's completely isolated.

Ali Macofsky 35:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:14 New Zealand has very strict immigration policies. They're, they're pretty... And the way they handled COVID, I mean, super successful. There's only four-plus million people on the whole island. It's a fucking great place.

Ali Macofsky 35:26 I know. I want to go so bad.

Joe Rogan 35:27 That's a good spot to escape, good spot to run to.

Ali Macofsky 35:29 When's the last time you've been?

Joe Rogan 35:30 Never. Never been to New Zealand.

Ali Macofsky 35:33 You would tour out there. Bring me.

Joe Rogan 35:34 I'll do it.

Ali Macofsky 35:34 Bring me.

Joe Rogan 35:35 I'll fucking do it.

Ali Macofsky 35:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:36 I'll fucking do it. I've done Australia. I love Australia.

Ali Macofsky 35:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:39 But Australia's, uh, much different. You know, Australia's, uh... New Zealand, there's a lot of New Zealand's just, like, rich and green and lush and, you know.

Ali Macofsky 35:49 Have you seen Hunt for the Wilderpeople?

Joe Rogan 35:51 No.

Ali Macofsky 35:52 Oh, my g-... It's one of, uh, Taika Waititi's movies. Do you know the dude? He's now doing, like, The Avengers or Marvel or something.

Joe Rogan 36:00 No. I don't know who that is.

Ali Macofsky 36:01 He di-... Oh, he's great. I love him. But he has this movie called Hunt for the Wilderpeople, and when it came out I was working at Arclight, the movie theater, at the time. And so I saw it in theaters, like, five times, but it all takes place in New Zealand. Oh, I love this movie so much.

Joe Rogan 36:18 So this is fiction?

Ali Macofsky 36:20 It's fiction, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:21 Okay.

Ali Macofsky 36:21 That kid on the right is so funny.

Joe Rogan 36:23 Wh- how have I not heard of this? What is it, 2016?

Ali Macofsky 36:24 It's such a beautiful and funny movie.

Joe Rogan 36:27 Have you heard of it, Jamie?

Guest 36:28 Know about this... I believe he's the one who jumped on your side of the Apple keyboard debate a couple months ago. He wrote, uh-

Joe Rogan 36:34 Oh, 'cause I said that Apple keyboards suck?

Guest 36:36 Yeah. He did JoJo Rabbit, I think, like-

Ali Macofsky 36:37 Yeah, he did JoJo Rabbit.

Joe Rogan 36:39 ... who, who? The writer?

Guest 36:41 He's a writer. He's a writer.

Ali Macofsky 36:41 The writer did?

Guest 36:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:42 Oh, okay.

Ali Macofsky 36:42 And he did like what, uh, What They Do In The Shadows I think that's the first one?

Joe Rogan 36:45 They have the worst fucking keyboards of all time.

Guest 36:47 I know, well...

Joe Rogan 36:47 The, the new one's terrible.

Ali Macofsky 36:48 Why do you think so?

Joe Rogan 36:48 I have the 2015 MacBook, the same one that you have there.

Guest 36:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:51 It's vastly superior to type on.

Guest 36:53 That's... I'm not getting rid of it. It has a 256 gigabyte hard drive. Like I s-

Joe Rogan 36:57 Yeah.

Guest 36:57 I can't really use it, but I can type on it really fast and-

Joe Rogan 37:00 The... You can get 'em upgraded. There's a company that upgrades them. That's what I did. I, I bought one that's for two- I bought it like a year ago, from 2016. And they put a new processor in it, they put a new solid state hard drive in it, and it has the 2015 keyboard. I don't know why these dummies just keep making these things that are shit to type on and then they appeal to creative people. They just... Everything is about design. They just want, they want the sleekest, thinnest. But meanwhile Lenovo has figured it out. They have their ThinkPad X1 Carbon. They have this really light... And they have a new one that's even smaller. It's like the Nano or something like that, but a great fucking keyboard. And it weighs nothing and it's this tiny, thin little thing and it's super easy to type on. And the... Each key is curved so your fingers, like, fit in it much easier. The, uh... And where Apple wants flat keyboards, it's like, it makes you so much less accurate, it's just a b- a shit experience to type on.

Ali Macofsky 37:58 I got a com- I got a MacBook for Christmas this past year. I cried, I was so happy. And then I opened the camera to do like, you know, Zooms and stuff, and the camera quality on my college MacBook from 2013 is so much better than the new MacBooks.

Joe Rogan 38:19 What? That doesn't make sense.

Ali Macofsky 38:20 Yeah, they look blurry. It looks like I'm in an Isad- ISIS hostage video.

Joe Rogan 38:24 Did you ever try to clean it?

Ali Macofsky 38:24 It's... Has nothing to do with the cleanliness.

Joe Rogan 38:26 What?

Ali Macofsky 38:26 Yeah.

Guest 38:27 Did you take the sticker off?

Ali Macofsky 38:28 I s- ... Yeah.

Guest 38:28 Okay.

Ali Macofsky 38:28 Everything's off.

Joe Rogan 38:29 That... You must have-

Ali Macofsky 38:30 It's not me, I swear.

Joe Rogan 38:31 I, I think you got a dud-

Ali Macofsky 38:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:32 ... 'cause that's one thing they're really good at. The camera quality is excellent.

Ali Macofsky 38:34 My camera quality is awful.

Joe Rogan 38:36 It's a new one?

Ali Macofsky 38:36 It's a brand new one.

Joe Rogan 38:38 It's probably broken. Right? Am I right?

Guest 38:41 Yeah, that sounds cr- ... Yeah, I would say it's fucked up.

Joe Rogan 38:42 Yeah, it sounds crazy.

Ali Macofsky 38:42 What's the dude name? Tim?

Joe Rogan 38:43 Mine-

Ali Macofsky 38:44 What's his name's name?

Joe Rogan 38:45 Tim Cook?

Ali Macofsky 38:45 Tim Cook?

Joe Rogan 38:46 Yeah.

Guest 38:46 Mm-hmm. Tim Apple.

Ali Macofsky 38:47 Tim Apple.

Joe Rogan 38:48 Hey, Tim Apple. (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 38:49 Tim Apple.

Joe Rogan 38:49 That's what, uh, Trump called him.

Ali Macofsky 38:50 Tim Apple?

Guest 38:51 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 38:52 Oh, that guy.

Joe Rogan 38:53 Yeah. The, the... I've used mine for Zooms and shit. I b- I bought a 2000-

Ali Macofsky 38:56 You doing Zoom comedy shows, Joe?

Joe Rogan 38:58 No. To talk to people.

Ali Macofsky 39:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:00 Just to talk to people. Zoom com- You didn't do any of those, did you?

Ali Macofsky 39:03 Yeah, of course I did, Joe.

Joe Rogan 39:04 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 39:04 We're at different levels, man. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:07 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 39:07 I gotta stay alive.

Joe Rogan 39:09 (laughs) Just fucking go out on the street and just start talking to people.

Ali Macofsky 39:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:11 You'd be better off.

Ali Macofsky 39:12 I know. I did f-

Joe Rogan 39:13 "Hey, let me tell you about my day." (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 39:14 "Hey, you wanna hear about my pussy?" They're like, "We're trying to get coffee."

Guest 39:17 Whoa.

Ali Macofsky 39:17 I'm like, "I gotta perform."

Joe Rogan 39:20 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 39:20 "I gotta tell these to someone."

Joe Rogan 39:23 But it is weird that guys don't have to shave their legs, right? Where do you think that came from? When did girls start shaving their legs? What year do you think? When did the deception begin? When did they decide... What do you think is happening? What, they... You think people are just trying to become more sleek and less alien?

Ali Macofsky 39:38 I'm pretty sure guys just want dolphins.

Joe Rogan 39:39 I mean, less, uh, less animal rather?

Ali Macofsky 39:41 I think guys want dolphins, just soft little mammals.

Joe Rogan 39:45 No. That's not what it is.

Ali Macofsky 39:47 They want something. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 39:48 I think they want, like, a person... They, they want, like, smooth, soft skin without the hair for whatever reason. But I'm... But, but men, it's okay to be hairy, 'cause it's okay for a guy to be a beast, right?

Ali Macofsky 40:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:01 But it's not okay for... Like, women are supposed... What is that? Like, why the disparity?

Ali Macofsky 40:06 Misogyny?

Joe Rogan 40:08 I don't think it's that, 'cause misogyny, i- uh, that means hate. That means-

Ali Macofsky 40:11 Does it?

Joe Rogan 40:12 Yes. Misogyny means, like, you don't like women. I don't think it's that.

Ali Macofsky 40:14 But maybe it's like, uh... Maybe... You know how, like, gay dudes before they come out or when they come out, there's, like, internalized homophobia that it's not like they hate gay people, but because they grew up in a society where, you know, it's not as common or acceptable or whatever, or your sisters bully you because you're... They think you're a lesbian when you're like seven, you know? It's like not things that people think or hateful, but like just this subconscious like, "I'm a man. I have hair. That's what's strong. Women, they're supposed to be soft and perfect and in the image of what I want them to be."

Joe Rogan 40:47 Hmm.

Ali Macofsky 40:47 It could just be like internalized.

Joe Rogan 40:49 Yeah, but women love it too. It's very rare that women fight that.

Ali Macofsky 40:53 I think... Well, I grew out my armpit hair for a little bit during COVID and-

Joe Rogan 40:56 Was that during the lesbian period?

Ali Macofsky 40:58 It was a lesbian, yeah, patch.

Joe Rogan 40:59 You're allowed, right?

Ali Macofsky 41:00 Yeah. And I enjoyed it, but then I get self-conscious because I'm like, "If dudes look at this, they're gonna think I'm like dirty or like manly or something."

Joe Rogan 41:09 Right. But a guy with armpit hair, no problem at all.

Ali Macofsky 41:11 No problem. And it gets all... The guys, it get... The, the deodorant gets all stuck on the armpit hair. Guys should start waxing.

Joe Rogan 41:18 Hmm. It is, it is-

Ali Macofsky 41:21 Would you do it?

Joe Rogan 41:22 ... weird that it's u- No. It's weird that it's universal. That's what's weird.

Ali Macofsky 41:25 Why not?

Joe Rogan 41:26 Why not what?

Ali Macofsky 41:26 Why wouldn't you wax your armpits?

Joe Rogan 41:27 'Cause I don't want to.

Ali Macofsky 41:28 Okay.

Joe Rogan 41:29 Why would I? Lived 53 fucking years without waxing my armpits. Why start now?

Ali Macofsky 41:33 It hurts.

Joe Rogan 41:33 Who the fuck am I trying to impress? I'm sure it does.

Ali Macofsky 41:36 Oh.

Joe Rogan 41:36 Do you wax your armpits? Is that what you're saying?

Ali Macofsky 41:38 I did it for the first time 'cause normally I just shave and-

Joe Rogan 41:41 Why'd you stop shaving them?

Ali Macofsky 41:42 'Cause I have a friend in Arizona who waxes, so I was like... I was growing them out. I was like, "Might as well," you know? And it hurt way worse than like getting a coochie wax.

Joe Rogan 41:52 Really?

Ali Macofsky 41:53 Oh yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:53 So your armpit's more sensitive than your cooter?

Ali Macofsky 41:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:56 That's not good.

Ali Macofsky 41:57 Nuh-uh.

Joe Rogan 41:58 Hmm.

Ali Macofsky 41:59 Yeah, I don't know what that was, but it hurt.

Guest 42:02 Quick research says this is a marketing from the early 1900s that didn't even happen really before that.

Joe Rogan 42:08 Really?

Guest 42:08 Yeah. Like, I'm here for finding-

Joe Rogan 42:09 That's when they started shaving away?

Guest 42:10 They had liquid stock, which they were calling it-

Joe Rogan 42:12 Oh.

Guest 42:12 ... back in the like 1920s and '30s and '40s.

Joe Rogan 42:15 Liquid stock? Well, you know, they did a lot of terrible shit to women back then. That's when... You remember that, um, the radioactive paint?

Guest 42:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:25 What is that called again where girls would, uh... They were working on like watches-

Guest 42:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:30 ... and all sorts of things that had a radio something?

Guest 42:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:35 And it would, it would literally... They didn't know what the effects were of the stuff at the time.

Guest 42:40 Weird.

Joe Rogan 42:40 And it was literally rotting through people's faces and girls walked-

Guest 42:44 Radium girls.

Joe Rogan 42:44 Radium. That's right. And they, they had like holes in it. It's horrific. It is so sad-

Ali Macofsky 42:49 Wow.

Joe Rogan 42:49 ... 'cause their job was to use this paint and, and use it for clocks and... Like the early watches, like some watches like the-... the, our, you know, indicators have lume on them.

Ali Macofsky 43:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:04 So, in the daytime, the, it charges up and then at nighttime, they glow, like that.

Ali Macofsky 43:08 I like those. Those are-

Joe Rogan 43:10 But that's-

Ali Macofsky 43:10 ... cool.

Joe Rogan 43:10 ... but that's r- the original, it was radium, and these girls were working with this very closely to paint these watches, and they would lick the brush and dip it in there. So, they're getting this stuff, and their tongues would rot off. They would get holes in their faces. They couldn't figure out what was causing it, and it took a long time for them-

Ali Macofsky 43:28 So, the effects-

Joe Rogan 43:29 ... to realize.

Ali Macofsky 43:29 ... weren't happening right away.

Joe Rogan 43:30 Right.

Ali Macofsky 43:31 It was-

Joe Rogan 43:31 Because it's radiation poisoning. So, this stuff, radium, is radioactive-

Ali Macofsky 43:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:36 ... which is why it glows in the dark.

Ali Macofsky 43:38 Damn.

Joe Rogan 43:39 Yeah. And then there's the, some stuff they use now. The radium girls were factory workers who died of radiation poisoning painting which objects with radioactive paint? Why is it a question?

Guest 43:49 Oh.

Ali Macofsky 43:49 Uh, what is-

Joe Rogan 43:50 So, um-

Ali Macofsky 43:50 ... watches?

Joe Rogan 43:51 Yeah. It was... So, these poor ladies, if you, if you see the girls with the, uh ... see, go to, look at that one wh- she's got this-

Ali Macofsky 43:58 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 43:58 ... giant fucking growth on the bottom of her face. If you go to, uh, radium girls, uh, injuries or tumors or ... It's, it's horrific. Sc- scroll down. I'm sure they have some images of it. It's really sad though. Really sad. Because they'd ... this had never happened before and, and I think it was the 19 what? 20? Yeah, 1920s.

Ali Macofsky 44:20 Yeah. So, was that, like, the job when the men were at war? Women were making watches?

Joe Rogan 44:24 Well, (sighs) was that World War I? Wh- when did World War I end?

Guest 44:28 Y- 19, like, f- somewhere around the four ... I was ju- I'd just listened to Smedley Butler's book yesterday. So he was talking-

Joe Rogan 44:34 Ah.

Guest 44:34 ... about all this, like how-

Joe Rogan 44:35 War Is a Racket.

Guest 44:36 ... in, uh, right after the w- the big war, the great war to, war to end all wars, profits for a lot of these companies jumped, skyrocketed.

Joe Rogan 44:43 Yeah.

Guest 44:43 Metal, leather-

Joe Rogan 44:44 Mm-hmm.

Guest 44:45 ... like, a- and paint for watches. Everything.

Joe Rogan 44:47 Smedley Butler, that ... I think he wrote that in the '30s.

Guest 44:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:51 War Is Just a Racket. There-

Ali Macofsky 44:52 I like that name.

Joe Rogan 44:54 You should read that book. It's terrifying, because it just shows you that this guy who was a loyal Marine and a soldier and who had, you know, d- been to war and had realized later in his life that he had risked his life for bankers and to make industry available in certain countries and that he had been lied to. And then he wrote a book called War Is Just a Racket, and it's an amazing book because if you look at what he wrote in 19 ... I wanna say it's '37. When, when did that come out?

Guest 45:27 35.

Joe Rogan 45:27 35. If you look at what he wrote in 1935, it's applicable today all around the world, like, what this guy was trying to expose about the real motivations, why politicians lead s- soldiers into war. Very little of it is about your safety and your health. I mean, occasionally it is.

Ali Macofsky 45:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:47 Like World War II, which is kind of ironic 'cause World War II is right after he wrote this where it was a war, well, we actually really did need to stop Hitler. But this, this guy wrote this book and it just shows how many military actions are n- not just unnecessary, but deceptive.

Ali Macofsky 46:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:04 And this guy realized it, like, later in his life. He's a fucking ... Wasn't he a three-star general or something like that?

Guest 46:10 Mm, retired Marine, two-time Medal of Honor recipient.

Joe Rogan 46:14 Yeah. H- so he was a decorated soldier. And as he was an old man, he was like, "Jesus Christ, what have I done?"

Ali Macofsky 46:23 That's crazy-

Joe Rogan 46:24 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 46:24 ... to do something thinking that ...

Joe Rogan 46:26 What was really crazy is that no one else did it, and that he was really, like, the first person to publish something that became, you know, a, a popular piece of work where the, the average person like myself or you who doesn't really know that much about war-

Ali Macofsky 46:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:41 ... can read about it and go, "Holy shit. Like, this is what was really going on, that they were just making things safe for bankers, or they're clearing, you know, a way to get to national, natural resources."

Ali Macofsky 46:52 I think that's why there's so much, like, distrust in government and stuff now, because there's so many things that we realize later on, like, "Why was that so necessary?"

Joe Rogan 47:02 Oh, for sure. Well, not only that. (sighs) I mean, you're seeing it with this administration where they're, they're doing the same things that Trump was doing. They're just pretending they're not. Like-

Ali Macofsky 47:11 They're just wearing cute jackets.

Joe Rogan 47:13 Well, it's just the same fucking thing. Like, what they're doing ... Like, they're all ... The whole thing was like, the kids at the border. We gotta stop the, you know, these families at the border. These detentions at the border, putting people in cages. They're doing the same fucking thing. And then Ted Cruz went down to j- there to try to film it and they were asking him to stop filming, like, this Biden employee's like, "Stop filming. Stop filming, sir. Please sh- have some respect." He's like, this is ... Like, you can't just make rules like, that we can't film now-

Ali Macofsky 47:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:39 ... and that's how you're gonna stop people from talking about this. That nothing's changed. 'Cause they were pretending that Trump was doing this and that it was all Trump's fault. Well, no, it's ... The border is crazy and porous, and now that Trump's not in office, they think it's more friendly 'cause Biden's there, so more people are coming through. And they have ... A lot of them have Biden T-shirts on. Have you seen that?

Ali Macofsky 48:01 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:01 Where they get detained? Yeah. Like, dozens and dozens-

Ali Macofsky 48:04 Like they're going to a Biden concert?

Joe Rogan 48:05 ... of 'em. Like, they're going to a Biden rally.

Ali Macofsky 48:06 Like, "We bought the merch."

Joe Rogan 48:07 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 48:07 "We love you."

Joe Rogan 48:08 Yes, exactly.

Ali Macofsky 48:08 "Help us."

Joe Rogan 48:09 You never seen it? You should see it. It's crazy. So, they're coming to the border wall with Biden shirts on. And so they've resumed construction of the border wall.

Ali Macofsky 48:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:18 I don't know if you know that. So, this comp- you know, this, this administration was like, "We're not gonna do what the past administration did." Yeah, you are.

Ali Macofsky 48:25 But is this wall-

Joe Rogan 48:26 Yeah, you are. Everybody's done it.

Ali Macofsky 48:26 ... gonna be huge?

Joe Rogan 48:29 Is it-

Ali Macofsky 48:29 Huge.

Joe Rogan 48:30 Is it g- it's gonna be the same?

Ali Macofsky 48:32 Did that-

Joe Rogan 48:32 Wow.

Ali Macofsky 48:32 ... that land in the-

Joe Rogan 48:32 Look at this.

Ali Macofsky 48:33 ... that fell flat?

Guest 48:33 It says, "Please let us in."

Joe Rogan 48:34 Yeah. "Biden, please let us in." Look at this.

Ali Macofsky 48:37 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 48:38 Like, who's giving them those fucking shirts? Probably the cartel.

Ali Macofsky 48:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:41 They probably all have a pound of kilos ... a pound of, uh, coke in their ass. Weird, right?

Ali Macofsky 48:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:48 It's just a weird ... And you know what's even weirder? I was talking to a friend of mine and he's much more knowledgeable about this. He goes, "You know, listen, man." He goes, "At the bottom of Mexico, those other South American countries, they're trying to get into Mexico and the Mexicans don't want them coming into Mexico."... and then you got Mexicans that are trying to get into America, and there's Americans that don't want them in, in America. Like, it's like, they're doing it too. Like, it goes all the w- if you go down to Honduras, and the Hondurans in Mexico, they're like, "Hey, you know, we have enough." Like, they're d- literally, it's happening every step of the way up to America.

Ali Macofsky 49:19 Yeah. That's crazy. I don't, yeah, I don't know much about that stuff.

Joe Rogan 49:24 You don't pay attention to that shit?

Ali Macofsky 49:25 Well, I just feel like it becomes too, like, like, sided. Like, where it's scary to talk about politics, because it can become so, like, if you say one thing that's not with, you know, some sort of, like, if it's not in an infographic on Instagram, then it's wrong, and it's all very, like, this way or that way. So I try and stay somewhat informed, but it just feels very exhausting nowadays to-

Joe Rogan 49:51 What do you mean by if it's not in an infograph? What do you mean?

Ali Macofsky 49:54 Like, I'm on very, like, super hyper-woke Instagram, you know?

Joe Rogan 49:58 You are?

Ali Macofsky 49:58 A lot of, yeah, a lot of my friends post a lot of, like, you know, woke shit, which, you know-

Joe Rogan 50:04 Do you yell at them for that?

Ali Macofsky 50:06 I scroll past it. I read it, and it's got shiny letters and a nice font. So I'm like, "Oh, this is pretty." But it's, it's very, like, extreme, where it's like, "You're either all in or you're all out," and I'm like, "I don't-"

Joe Rogan 50:17 Yeah. It's a bunch of people trying to control people. That's what it is, mostly.

Ali Macofsky 50:20 Totally.

Joe Rogan 50:20 Like, the idea is wonderful, that we should all be inclusive and nice and kind and caring, and I agree to that wholeheartedly. But a lot of people use woke ideology as an excuse to be an asshole-

Ali Macofsky 50:32 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:32 ... to people who don't think the way you think. So you have, like, a lot of really aggressive, shitty guys that jump on the woke movement and use it as an excuse to vent out their cuntiness on other people, and it's usually these, they're usually not very successful. They usually have terrible relationships. They're, they're like really volatile, angry people, and they've found the wokeness as, like, a path to righteousness. Like, this is their, the way they can feel good about screaming at people, so they'll scream about people and call them racist or homophobic or transphobic or whatever it is, whatever phobia or -ist they can figure out a way to call you, and that's their, that's their, their legitimate outlet.

Ali Macofsky 51:14 Their, like, badge of honor.

Joe Rogan 51:15 It's a, but it's a legitimate outlet for their shittiness. It's like they've found a b- instead of like, going, "Is this really what's going on here? Like, should, y- you know, maybe I should look at this open-mindedly. Maybe I should be objective and compassionate, and maybe I should just really actually try to spread kindness, just try to be a nice person." Nope, that's not what it is. What wokeness is, is like any other cult. It's any other ideology. Like, it comes along, and then there's a lot of good intentions. There's a lot of good thoughts behind it, but then a bunch of assholes adopt it, and those assholes use it for their own betterment.

Ali Macofsky 51:49 Yeah, and it's a lot of, like, uh, different end of the same token, where it's like it's kind of the same rhetoric and way of going about things as people who are on the complete opposite end-

Joe Rogan 52:00 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 52:00 ... of the spectrum, who are very hateful. It's-

Joe Rogan 52:02 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 52:04 It's very much, it's funny because they're preaching acceptance and then canceling people for anything they can think of.

Joe Rogan 52:12 Yes.

Ali Macofsky 52:12 And it's just-

Joe Rogan 52:13 Real or imagined.

Ali Macofsky 52:14 Which is scary because I, I want to be a good person, and then it's, like, hard because I'm like, "Am I being the right kind of good person for these people-"

Joe Rogan 52:24 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 52:24 ... "am," you know?

Joe Rogan 52:25 Well, you are for now, but the problem is five years from now, it could be radically different, and then you can get canceled for some shit you said now when it was acceptable. Look, we all are kind of following a hive mind, right? And there's extremes on the right, and there's extremes on the left, but when you get to these, the really radical, shitty people on the right or the really radical, shitty people on the left, what they share in common is their adherence to a pattern, and the pattern doesn't have to be logical. It's just very tribal. Like, whoever's on that other side is a piece of shit, and it's bec- and, you know, they'll find reasons why that person's a piece of shit, whether it's a person who's a left-wing person, "That lefty, communist, Marxist, socialist piece of shit. They want to fucking ruin this country, and this, argh," or they go the other way, you know? They're on the left, and they'll find reasons why people on the right are racist, sexist, homophobic, and this and that, and, you know, and, you know, and they'll scream out, "Black lives matter," at the top of their lungs, and they'll... What are they really doing? What they're really doing is they're adhering to an ideology.

Ali Macofsky 53:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:25 And they're rigidly doing it, and they're using it as a, as a portal to channel their cuntiness.

Ali Macofsky 53:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:31 And they're both sides, left and right. They're the same kind of people. They just picked a team.

Ali Macofsky 53:36 It's hard 'cause there's no room, when that's your whole thing, is being super one-sided either way. It leaves no room for growth or change.

Joe Rogan 53:48 They're not trying to grow and change.

Ali Macofsky 53:50 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 53:50 They're just trying to get their rocks off.

Ali Macofsky 53:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:53 That's what a lot of it is.

Ali Macofsky 53:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:55 Yeah. It's a weird time because of the social media movement, because so many people are communicating online, these weird little, like, clips of, you know, of text, w- weird little blurbs, and they're just waiting to see how people respond to those blurbs. So it's like the shittiest way of communicating is not just in writing, but in little tiny writing, little tiny, you know, 140, 280-character bursts. It's like the worst way to communicate-

Ali Macofsky 54:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:24 ... in little, little bursts of, of text, because so much is missing. You know, it's not even a, like, a long article. Even articles are kind of a shitty way of communicating, because you get to write it without anybody going, "Well, that's not true because this, and that's not true because of that," and the reason why you're saying that is, well, what about your own thing, and that's m- are you looking at it because of your biases, or... You know, there's no back and forth, which is the way humans are really supposed to express themselves.

Ali Macofsky 54:52 Yeah, and there's no room for nuance.

Joe Rogan 54:54 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 54:54 Everything can be very black and white, and there's no room for gray area of like, "Yeah, I mean this. This is what I'm saying. I mean it, but I mean it in the context of this." Everything can be taken-

Joe Rogan 55:07 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 55:07 ... out of context-

Joe Rogan 55:08 Course.

Ali Macofsky 55:09 ... which is, you know, hard and...... and people hold you to your words and what you say and don't let you form new opinions or-

Joe Rogan 55:19 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 55:19 ... beliefs, based on what you've learned later on, or-

Joe Rogan 55:22 Because they're not trying to find out what you really think, they're just trying to catch you. They're just trying to play gotcha. They're just trying to say, "Oh, Ali, you said this one ... You called yourself a dyke one time. Well, that's fucked up. You're a fucking ..." You know, and then, then they get mad at you and you're like, "Hey, hey, hey, I was joking." It was-

Ali Macofsky 55:38 It was September. It was-

Joe Rogan 55:39 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 55:39 ... the season for me to be-

Joe Rogan 55:40 It was dyke season.

Ali Macofsky 55:41 ... a dyke, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:42 Yeah. I spell it with a Y, it's fine.

Ali Macofsky 55:44 I spell, yeah, I spell ... I put an X in there somewhere so it's inclusive.

Joe Rogan 55:48 I was talking to this lady, her name was Karen. I said, "Does all this Karen shit bother you?" And she goes, "No. I spell it different."

Ali Macofsky 55:53 With a C?

Joe Rogan 55:54 I go, "What the fuck does that mean?" "No, it's K-A-R-Y-N," she said. I go, "Listen, nobody knows how the fuck you spell it." Like-

Ali Macofsky 56:01 You're not wearing a name badge out.

Joe Rogan 56:02 ... people, they call it Karen, that ... "You're being a Karen." They don't say, "Oh, you're being a K-A-R-E-N."

Ali Macofsky 56:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:08 "You're not being a K-A-R-Y-N." Those women are amazing.

Ali Macofsky 56:12 Yeah, what a tough time for Karens.

Joe Rogan 56:14 Terrible time for Karens.

Ali Macofsky 56:15 But there are a lot of them.

Joe Rogan 56:17 Well, which kind? You mean the cunty kind or like a woman-

Ali Macofsky 56:21 The ones with the E.

Joe Rogan 56:21 ... just named Karen?

Ali Macofsky 56:23 The cunty kind.

Joe Rogan 56:24 Well, there's-

Ali Macofsky 56:25 I'm sure there's sweet Karens.

Joe Rogan 56:26 The ... We need one for men, the ... It's like-

Ali Macofsky 56:28 Chad?

Joe Rogan 56:29 But that's not right. There's a lot of Chads, like really good guys. (laughs) The guy who's the, uh, the director of, uh, John Wick. I can, I can never say his last name 'cause it's a complicated last name. How do you say his last name?

Guest 56:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:45 Zos- Sosleski. How do you say it?

Ali Macofsky 56:47 Is he Russian? Polish?

Joe Rogan 56:49 Um, that's a good question.

Ali Macofsky 56:50 Probably Russian.

Joe Rogan 56:52 It's a, uh, it's a complicated name though.

Ali Macofsky 56:55 You did the 23 and Me thing, right?

Guest 56:56 Soleski.

Joe Rogan 56:57 Soleski. Yeah.

Guest 56:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:00 Hell of a director. Strange name. But he's a Chad. He's a good Chad.

Ali Macofsky 57:05 There's-

Joe Rogan 57:05 There's a lot of Chads that are good.

Ali Macofsky 57:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:07 Chad Ward, my friend, he's a barbecue chef.

Ali Macofsky 57:10 (gasps) Is he out here?

Joe Rogan 57:11 Awesome guy. No, he is ... Where the fuck is Chad?

Ali Macofsky 57:15 Do you go out a lot over here? Like-

Joe Rogan 57:17 I do.

Ali Macofsky 57:17 Are you able to go out and like-

Joe Rogan 57:19 I can.

Ali Macofsky 57:19 ... just enjoy yourself?

Joe Rogan 57:20 I just live my life-

Ali Macofsky 57:21 Okay, good.

Joe Rogan 57:21 ... young Ali Macofsky.

Ali Macofsky 57:23 I don't know what your life looks like.

Joe Rogan 57:24 Yeah. It's a little odd but yeah, I just live my life. Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 57:26 That's cool.

Joe Rogan 57:27 People are cool here.

Ali Macofsky 57:28 Yeah, they are. They're very cool. That's what I like, uh, that it's fun out here 'cause you'll just see the r- most random group of people hanging out. It feels like what we were just talking about, like people just ... It's a very social town and everyone's-

Joe Rogan 57:41 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 57:41 ... kind of buddies with each other. And there's a feeling like that you're home even if you've never been here.

Joe Rogan 57:46 Yeah. What did Matthew McConaughey say?

Ali Macofsky 57:48 Ugh. All right, all right.

Joe Rogan 57:48 The way he described it ... No, he said (laughs) ... He goes, uh, "No one here is too good and everyone's good enough."

Ali Macofsky 57:56 I love that.

Joe Rogan 57:57 That's such a Matthew McConaughey thing to say.

Ali Macofsky 57:58 I love Matty. Matty Mac.

Joe Rogan 58:00 That's such a Matthew McConaughey thing to say. He'll be president someday.

Ali Macofsky 58:04 Yeah. I know-

Joe Rogan 58:04 Someone that doesn't come along and trip him. Trip him up.

Ali Macofsky 58:07 He's so cool. I want to read his book.

Joe Rogan 58:11 Well, then read it.

Ali Macofsky 58:12 My boyfriend has it.

Joe Rogan 58:12 If you want to read it-

Ali Macofsky 58:13 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 58:13 ... why don't you read it?

Ali Macofsky 58:14 I'm going to.

Joe Rogan 58:15 Well, just steal it from your boyfriend. Say, "If you love me, you'll give me the book."

Ali Macofsky 58:18 Give me the book, bitch.

Joe Rogan 58:19 Do you gotta say love?

Ali Macofsky 58:20 You're not reading it.

Joe Rogan 58:20 Do you say l- love?

Ali Macofsky 58:20 I said it.

Joe Rogan 58:21 Whoo! Why'd you say it like that with a grimace?

Ali Macofsky 58:24 'Cause it's just scary.

Joe Rogan 58:26 Ooh. Yeah. That's the only way to find out if he loves you back or if he's a liar.

Ali Macofsky 58:31 He's a sweetie.

Joe Rogan 58:32 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 58:32 He's a sweetie.

Joe Rogan 58:33 I'm sure he is.

Ali Macofsky 58:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:35 Yeah. Uh, what do you think about like famous people becoming president like that?

Ali Macofsky 58:41 I think anything is possible nowadays. People are willing to vote anyone in and-

Joe Rogan 58:45 They've been w- well, they've been willing to vote anyone in for a long time. It's just people haven't done it other than Reagan.

Ali Macofsky 58:52 Was Reagan voted in?

Joe Rogan 58:54 Would you think ... How do you think he became president?

Ali Macofsky 58:56 Well, no. I mean like, like, the-

Joe Rogan 58:57 Jesus Christ.

Ali Macofsky 58:57 No. No.

Joe Rogan 58:58 What kind of conversation are we having here?

Ali Macofsky 58:59 I'm not that du- I'm pretty dumb but I'm not that dumb. But I mean like was ... Like the way that Kanye wasn't on the ballot in most places-

Joe Rogan 59:06 No. Reagan was the governor of California and then he became the president of the United States. Oh, my God.

Ali Macofsky 59:11 But he ran for president, right?

Joe Rogan 59:13 Reagan was the fucking president for two terms.

Ali Macofsky 59:16 I know that he was the president-

Joe Rogan 59:17 What do you mean by he ran for president? That's how you become president.

Ali Macofsky 59:19 No, but you know how some people get voted in, like they're not on the ballot, you have to write-

Joe Rogan 59:22 Do you want me to forget we talked about this? We'll just-

Ali Macofsky 59:23 We can edit it out.

Joe Rogan 59:24 ... we just cut this out? (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 59:24 We can edit it out.

Joe Rogan 59:26 No, he was actually on the ballot.

Ali Macofsky 59:28 Yeah, okay.

Joe Rogan 59:28 He was the governor-

Ali Macofsky 59:30 I thought you meant he was-

Joe Rogan 59:30 ... of California.

Ali Macofsky 59:31 I thought you meant that s- people wrote his name 'cause they loved him so much as governor.

Joe Rogan 59:36 No, what I meant is that he was an actor-

Ali Macofsky 59:38 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 59:38 ... and a famous guy-

Ali Macofsky 59:39 Westerns, right?

Joe Rogan 59:41 ... who became ... Uh, he did a lot of movies. Like one of his famous ones, like he did a, a movie with a chimp in like the 1950s, like Bedtime for Bongo. Bonzo or Bongo. Yeah, it was like him and a chimp were like pal-ing around together.

Guest 59:56 Bonzo.

Joe Rogan 59:56 Bonzo.

Guest 59:57 1951.

Joe Rogan 59:58 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 59:59 It's-

Joe Rogan 59:59 Yeah. Reagan was like a, a young sort of like a Dragnet style heartthrob.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:04 Yeah, but I feel like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 Back in the day.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:06 I feel like nowadays people would vote for Bonzo to be president, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 Probably for fun.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:11 100%.

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 Just let's see. Let's see how the chimp does.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:13 I think after that harambe ... Didn't people vote him for harambe the year that there was that-

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 See how little that chimp is?

Guest 1:00:20 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:20 ... incident?

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 That's 'cause it's a baby.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:20 Chimps are so cute. Have you ever held one?

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:00:23 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 1:00:23 But you have to ... The, the only way they'll work with someone like that, they have to be babies. You can't have a grown chimp. The grown chimps will just beat the shit out of you. We were on the set of News Radio and, uh, they had a baby chimp like that and it was a baby. It was like it had a diaper on and everything and the b- ... It, it climbed on me, like I was holding it and it climbed on my back and went ... Just beat me in the back and I was like, "Holy shit." Like a tiny little thing. You know, like probably 30, 40 pounds. I couldn't believe how hard it was hitting me. I was like, "Fuck."

Ali Macofsky 1:00:54 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:00:55 And they feel different. They feel like they're made out of this table. Like their muscles-

Ali Macofsky 1:00:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 Like if ... It's like you, you ... When you touch them, you go like, "Oh. I'm like a fucking water balloon compared to that." Like your body is so mushy and soft compared to a chimp.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 It's a real weird feeling.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:13 I like, I like chimps and stuff.

Guest 1:01:15 There's this viral video of a chimp-

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 Oh, it's cute.

Guest 1:01:17 ... helping this guy up on a rope but-

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 Yeah, it's adorable.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:19 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 Look at this.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:19 Look at its eyes.

Guest 1:01:20 It barely has to try.

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 Yeah. It just hoists him up.... look at that. And then watch this, fist bump at the end.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:27 Stop.

Joe Rogan 1:01:27 He goes fist bump.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:28 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 How cool is that?

Ali Macofsky 1:01:30 Oh, that's so cute.

Joe Rogan 1:01:31 That's pretty dope. Now, it's a grown chimp.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Yeah. Must have a good relationship with it.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:36 Aw. Uh, you know what animal I love?

Joe Rogan 1:01:39 What?

Ali Macofsky 1:01:39 Goats.

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 Why do you love goats?

Ali Macofsky 1:01:41 I want a goat. I want to get ... When I make it, I want a backyard and I want to have a goat.

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 Wow.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:46 They're so cute. And they're friendly-

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 That's your thing, huh?

Ali Macofsky 1:01:49 ... and they just hang out.

Joe Rogan 1:01:50 You want a backyard and a goat?

Ali Macofsky 1:01:52 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:01:53 Hmm.

Ali Macofsky 1:01:53 That's what I want.

Joe Rogan 1:01:54 There's a coffee place down here called, um, Civil Goat. Is that what it's called? Yeah. And there's a goat that hangs out on the porch, and it'll walk up to you and just kind of fucking headbutt you.

Ali Macofsky 1:02:07 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:02:07 Yeah, it's weird. The- the goat will walk up to you and, like, butt you in the legs, and you're like, "Hey, buddy, how you doing?"

Ali Macofsky 1:02:12 Oh, my-

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 And, but they're ... He's not, not being an asshole. It's just kind of like, that's what they do. They just run into things with their head.

Ali Macofsky 1:02:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 And he kind of rub his head.

Ali Macofsky 1:02:20 They're adorable.

Joe Rogan 1:02:21 Anybody he hangs ... And they, like, "Don't let the goat inside," 'cause if you let the goat inside, they'll just, like, fucking eat everybody's food.

Ali Macofsky 1:02:25 Jump on everything, yeah, eat paper napkins, all of it.

Joe Rogan 1:02:29 Yeah. They're odd animals.

Ali Macofsky 1:02:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 I knew a dude who had some goats, and, uh, he got goats for his backyard in Topanga. And, uh, they had, like, this big piece of land, and they said, "Oh, you know what we'll do? We'll get the goats, and the goats will clean all the brush." Well, the goats fucking ate everything, so they're like, "We gotta get rid of these fucking goats." So these crazy assholes just took the goats and just dropped them off on the side somewhere, and then people knew that they had goats, so people started asking around, like, uh, "Did somebody let their fucking goats just loose in Topanga?" And then they contacted them and said, "Hey, asshole, come get your goats." (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 1:03:06 That's so messed up.

Joe Rogan 1:03:08 (laughs) It's-

Ali Macofsky 1:03:08 Just loose goats in Topanga?

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 Well, the, the way ... I think the way they thought of it was, like, the goats will most certainly be able to feed themselves, 'cause they just eat whatever. They eat brush.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:18 And, uh, if they get hit by a car, they're not really into those goats anyway, which is sad.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:23 That is sad. I would hate to see that. Have you ever, like, ran into an animal that's, like, driving?

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 (smacks lips) Squirrel. Nothing big.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:30 Did you feel bad?

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:31 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 Saw him in the back.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:32 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 Like, as you pass, just see him s- bucking and twisting.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 I've never hit a beer- deer though, knock on wood, (knocks on table) 'cause I've, I've seen a lot of them, especially out here. There's a lot of them.

Ali Macofsky 1:03:41 That can be super dangerous, right?

Joe Rogan 1:03:43 Oh, yeah. My friend Cam, uh, a guy in his town died because, uh, he didn't hit the deer. The guy in front of him hit the deer. This was crazy. The guy in front of him hit the deer. The deer went up in the air, and his car was driving behind the car, and the deer went through his windshield and killed him.

Ali Macofsky 1:04:01 (gasps) .

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:04:01 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:04:02 Yeah, when-

Ali Macofsky 1:04:03 Death by deer.

Joe Rogan 1:04:04 When death decides it's your time, the way you die can be just the most fucked-up way. Imagine you're just driving home, just went out to get a half gallon of orange juice or whatever and ... Boom.

Ali Macofsky 1:04:16 It's always so heartbreaking, like, just unexpected ones like that. Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:04:22 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:04:22 It, yeah. It makes me so sad.

Joe Rogan 1:04:25 People die from that all the time. They die from the, uh, it, f- it's ... I've seen some crazy pictures online, too, of what happens when someone hits a car with a deer, where the deer goes through the windshield and the inside of the car is just a Jock- Jackson Pollock splatter painting of guts and blood. Because when they, they hit the car, their body's falling apart, and then they go through the windshield and everything just bursts, and the inside of the car was just all just guts and meat.

Ali Macofsky 1:04:54 (laughs) Speaking of, I had my first-

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 (laughs)

Ali Macofsky 1:04:57 ... uh, deer.

Joe Rogan 1:04:58 Oh, you ate your first deer?

Ali Macofsky 1:04:59 I ate my first deer.

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 Out here?

Ali Macofsky 1:05:01 No, um, at home. My cousin Johnny and his brother Michael, they go shooting and, or arch- archery.

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 Archery?

Ali Macofsky 1:05:10 Archery.

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 They do bow and arrow?

Ali Macofsky 1:05:12 Yeah, they do bow and arrow.

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 Yeah? Where at? Where'd they go?

Ali Macofsky 1:05:14 I think in, like, Arizona, like-

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 Oh, okay.

Ali Macofsky 1:05:15 ... Flagstaff or something like that.

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 How was it?

Ali Macofsky 1:05:19 Gamey.

Joe Rogan 1:05:20 Oh, they probably didn't take care of it right.

Ali Macofsky 1:05:22 I mean, they-

Joe Rogan 1:05:22 You didn't like it?

Ali Macofsky 1:05:23 I d- uh, it wa- It's just, like, when you're not used to tasting something like that-

Joe Rogan 1:05:28 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 1:05:28 ... it's just weird.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:05:29 Like, I imagine if I was, like, back in the olden days, and I was like, "Mm, venison me up," it would've been great, but ...

Joe Rogan 1:05:35 (clicks tongue) Well, a lot of it is how the meat is prepared and how it's, uh, kept after you kill the animal, 'cause you gotta keep it cool. S-

Ali Macofsky 1:05:43 They have it in, like, a freezer.

Joe Rogan 1:05:45 That's not what I mean. I mean, once you kill the animal, like, from then on, you have to cool it off as quickly as possible.

Ali Macofsky 1:05:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 And if you don't do that, it can kind of spoil the meat and get a weird taste to it. And, um, there's also a gland in the animal's legs called the tarsal gland. And if that gland gets cut or nicked during the, the butchering process, then that can get in the meat and that'll fuck the meat up. But for the most part, I think a lot of it is when guys get the animal, they don't cool it off quick enough. You don't have either ice ready right away or you don't know how to hang it to get air around it.

Ali Macofsky 1:06:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:06:22 You gotta ... There's a lot you have to do to make sure that the animal doesn't, uh, spoil.

Ali Macofsky 1:06:27 Yeah, we had, like, a flank, I think.

Joe Rogan 1:06:29 Mm-hmm.

Ali Macofsky 1:06:29 And then he ... I guess there's, like, a local butcher who, like, makes it into sausages and kind of adds some other meats to it.

Joe Rogan 1:06:36 Usually they add fat-

Ali Macofsky 1:06:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:38 ... like, pork fat.

Ali Macofsky 1:06:39 And that was really good. Like, the sausage was really good. But, yeah, it was just a, it was just a totally different taste that I wasn't expecting.

Joe Rogan 1:06:49 Yeah. Well, I don't know what they did. Maybe they didn't cook it right or maybe they didn't prepare it right.

Ali Macofsky 1:06:53 W-

Joe Rogan 1:06:53 Or maybe they didn't take care of it right.

Ali Macofsky 1:06:54 Well, my dad prepared it in ... You know, he's normally, like, a grill boss, but that was his first time.

Joe Rogan 1:07:00 (clicks tongue) It's a little trickier than regular meat, because you have to be real careful with the temperature. Usually you sh- uh, you should use a thermometer, because, uh, you don't want it to overcook, 'cause it's very lean. It's not like a steak. You could, you could judge a steak, like a beef steak, much easier, 'cause there's a lot of fat in it.

Ali Macofsky 1:07:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:17 Like, if you're eating venison, it's a very lean animal.

Ali Macofsky 1:07:21 We were definitely eyeballing it.

Joe Rogan 1:07:22 Eyeballing? Oh, trying-

Ali Macofsky 1:07:23 We were eyeballing it.

Joe Rogan 1:07:24 ... to guess it?

Ali Macofsky 1:07:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:25 If your dad's never done it before, has he ever cooked that before?

Ali Macofsky 1:07:27 No, never.

Joe Rogan 1:07:28 Yeah, you gotta read-

Ali Macofsky 1:07:29 We didn't know what to do. We kind of surprised him with it. We're like, "Wanna eat deer?"

Joe Rogan 1:07:33 Yeah.

Ali Macofsky 1:07:34 He was game.

Joe Rogan 1:07:35 Literally.

Ali Macofsky 1:07:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:37 You gotta, you gotta read up on it. It's a ... That's, you know-

Ali Macofsky 1:07:40 It's also-

Joe Rogan 1:07:40 Do you cook at all? Are you cooking?

Ali Macofsky 1:07:42 Um, I'm, I'm trying to cook more, yeah. But I'm a ... I moved into a studio, and I have to cook on a hot plate so it feels like I'm camping all the time, 'cause I don't have like a stove.

Joe Rogan 1:07:53 Mm.

Ali Macofsky 1:07:54 So I use a hot plate. So I can only cook like one thing at a time.

Joe Rogan 1:07:58 So what do you cook?

Ali Macofsky 1:07:59 Um, I cook ... Well, I cook like breakfast. I'll make like bacon, eggs, all that stuff. And then I'll make rice. Um, I want to start making more like vegetables, like-

Joe Rogan 1:08:11 Trying to be healthy?

Ali Macofsky 1:08:13 Trying, yeah. Luckily I'm staying with my friends out here, and they eat super healthy, so that's felt good. But right after this, I'm going on a meat tour.

Joe Rogan 1:08:20 In Texas, you mean?

Ali Macofsky 1:08:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 Who do you know out here?

Ali Macofsky 1:08:22 My friend Julia and Jake. They're super sweet. I ... It's funny because I met Julia through my