Joe Rogan Experience #1636 - Colion Noir

Colion Noir 0:00 (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays) What's up? How are you?

Joe Rogan 0:15 How you doing, man? Dude, you're our resident gun nut.

Colion Noir 0:18 Hey, I'll take it.

Joe Rogan 0:18 Like, any time there's a gun issue, you're my go-to guy.

Colion Noir 0:21 I'm not gonna argue with that.

Joe Rogan 0:23 (laughs) Nobody knows more.

Colion Noir 0:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:25 I don't know anybody... I mean, may-, there might be a dude out there-

Colion Noir 0:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:27 ... but he's probably dangerous.

Colion Noir 0:28 Yeah. Probably, I mean, I probably learned a lot from him anyway, so... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:33 (laughs) So, what's happening, man? How's everything?

Colion Noir 0:35 Ah, nothing much, man. I'm glad to have you so close now.

Joe Rogan 0:37 Yeah.

Colion Noir 0:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:38 Yeah. We're, uh, we're state residents now.

Colion Noir 0:40 Yeah, you are.

Joe Rogan 0:40 How far is the drive from Dallas?

Colion Noir 0:42 Uh, the way I do it or-

Joe Rogan 0:44 (laughs)

Colion Noir 0:44 ... the way normal people do it? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:45 You shouldn't say that on the air, man.

Colion Noir 0:47 No, I, I know-

Joe Rogan 0:48 There's a lot of cops out here.

Colion Noir 0:49 ... I do, I do, I do it fast legally.

Joe Rogan 0:50 How you do that?

Colion Noir 0:51 I mean, that's, that's another story.

Joe Rogan 0:53 What do you have, a fucking jet?

Colion Noir 0:54 I mean...

Joe Rogan 0:55 How, how, what's fast legally?

Colion Noir 0:57 ... on gl- jet w- jet, jet on land.

Joe Rogan 0:58 Uh, yeah, but-

Colion Noir 0:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:59 ... that's not legal.

Colion Noir 1:00 Yeah. N- I mean s-

Joe Rogan 1:01 There's a speed limit, sir.

Colion Noir 1:02 I'm a lawyer, man. I plead the Fifth to that-

Joe Rogan 1:04 Oh.

Colion Noir 1:04 ... you know.

Joe Rogan 1:04 Okay, okay. Well, let's just leave it at that.

Colion Noir 1:06 It's a bunch of legal-

Joe Rogan 1:06 You know, Montana didn't have a speed limit for a long time. They had no speed limit.

Colion Noir 1:10 So-

Joe Rogan 1:10 They were like, "We don't give a fuck up here."

Colion Noir 1:12 Dude, I'm... That sounds like my place to be.

Joe Rogan 1:13 Yeah, well-

Colion Noir 1:14 I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:14 ... Montana's pretty badass, but I think they had to get a speed limit to get some state fu-, or federal funding or something like that.

Colion Noir 1:21 (laughs) Sounds about right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:22 Yeah, the federal government was like, "Look, enough of this shit."

Colion Noir 1:24 Shh.

Joe Rogan 1:24 "People are going up there to test cars."

Colion Noir 1:26 Shh, shh, shh. I mean, they... Look, Germany, they have the Autobahn.

Joe Rogan 1:28 I know.

Colion Noir 1:29 Right? Like-

Joe Rogan 1:29 Right.

Colion Noir 1:30 ... just let, you know, I mean, just let me... Cut me. Look, it's getting ridiculous. Like, in my car right now, I have, I have a radar detector that's built-in, and then I have a radar detector that I keep on my little dash.

Joe Rogan 1:41 You have a double radar?

Colion Noir 1:42 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:43 Is this the Ferrari?

Colion Noir 1:44 No, no, no, no. This is the, uh, this is the Turbo, Turbo S. I have a 2014 Turbo S.

Joe Rogan 1:49 Oh.

Colion Noir 1:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50 Oh.

Colion Noir 1:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50 That's a, that's a ri-, ridiculously fast car. And then-

Colion Noir 1:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:54 ... the 2022 makes that thing seem like a goddamn Prius.

Colion Noir 1:58 It's stupid.

Joe Rogan 1:59 It's so crazy.

Colion Noir 2:00 It's stupid. Like, I... And that thing is so god-

Joe Rogan 2:02 2.5 seconds.

Colion Noir 2:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:04 2.5 seconds zero to 60.

Colion Noir 2:06 Where do you... I have to wonder, where do you go from there?

Joe Rogan 2:09 We're going wherever it is we're going.

Colion Noir 2:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:12 Like, Tesla is where we're going.

Colion Noir 2:14 This is true.

Joe Rogan 2:15 That's-

Colion Noir 2:15 We, I remember we had this conversation before.

Joe Rogan 2:17 Yeah.

Colion Noir 2:17 And-

Joe Rogan 2:18 (laughs) My Tesla is preposterous, man. My Te- my Tesla is faster than the 2022 Turbo S. Faster. 2.4 seconds zero to 60. So, it's a tenth of a second faster zero to 60. And it feels like it, dude.

Colion Noir 2:32 I'm still fighting it.

Joe Rogan 2:33 I know.

Colion Noir 2:33 I'm still fighting it.

Joe Rogan 2:34 I, I know. Listen, man. I have a regular car too. I have, I have a couple regular cars.

Colion Noir 2:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:39 That sound is the... The so-, the sound of a real combustion engine is the shit.

Colion Noir 2:43 I'm still full of shit though, 'cause the Turbo S sounds like a damn Dyson vacuum.

Joe Rogan 2:46 That's true.

Colion Noir 2:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:47 It does.

Colion Noir 2:48 Oh, it's like-

Joe Rogan 2:48 It does, right?

Colion Noir 2:49 It's like, so I'm kind of... Yeah, I'm kind of contradicting myself in a lot of ways in that manner.

Joe Rogan 2:53 They said they're never gonna make the 911 electric, though.

Colion Noir 2:57 That's good to know. I mean, they just-

Joe Rogan 2:58 Yeah.

Colion Noir 2:58 ... they just released the, the 992 GT3, which is naturally aspirated.

Joe Rogan 3:03 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 3:03 Rear wheel drive. Um, just-

Joe Rogan 3:05 Look at that.

Colion Noir 3:05 ... I actually, I just put in an order for it.

Joe Rogan 3:07 Did you?

Colion Noir 3:08 Yeah, I did.

Joe Rogan 3:08 Oh, look at that.

Colion Noir 3:09 Yeah. It's, uh-

Joe Rogan 3:10 The, I love the rear steering.

Colion Noir 3:12 I, it's, I, the funny thing is when they released it initially, I hated it.

Joe Rogan 3:17 The rear steering?

Colion Noir 3:17 No, the car.

Joe Rogan 3:18 Really?

Colion Noir 3:18 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:18 How could you hate that?

Colion Noir 3:19 'Cause the, the 991 GT3, I loved how proportionate the wing was to the rest of the body.

Joe Rogan 3:25 Mmm.

Colion Noir 3:25 It just seemed like it was part of it. And when they went with the swan neck spoiler, I, I hated it 'cause it just seemed disjointed.

Joe Rogan 3:31 You got any other pictures of this, Jeremy? That, with that spoiler?

Narrator 3:35 Uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:35 The thing's dope.

Narrator 3:36 So, it has one, has on the GT3-

Colion Noir 3:36 No, but now I think it's-

Narrator 3:37 ... when you said it.

Colion Noir 3:37 ... beautiful.

Joe Rogan 3:38 It's a really amazing company, if you think of Porsche. They've taken this one car from the 1960s, and they've just consistently updated it over the-, and there's no other car company like it.

Narrator 3:47 No, not at all. Not at all.

Joe Rogan 3:48 Like, even Corvettes now are mid-engine, right?

Narrator 3:51 Yeah.

Colion Noir 3:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:51 So, Corvette doesn't look nothing... Corvette looks like a Ferrari now.

Colion Noir 3:53 But from what I r-, from what I understand, initially the design of Corvette was to be mid-engine.

Joe Rogan 3:58 Really?

Colion Noir 3:58 Yeah, from what I've, from what I've learned.

Joe Rogan 4:00 Okay. That looks pretty dope though.

Colion Noir 4:01 Yeah. No, the ba-, I think, I think the 992, the rear end of the 992 is probably the best rear end on a vehicle out right now.

Joe Rogan 4:09 It's pretty sick.

Colion Noir 4:10 Yeah. Especially with that, that, that light, that uninterrupted light bar in the back. It's just, ugh.

Joe Rogan 4:15 Pretty smart of them too to make them all wide body too.

Colion Noir 4:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:18 'Cause like, nobody wants that narrow bitch.

Colion Noir 4:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:21 Skinny bitch. I'm not a fan of that front hood though.

Colion Noir 4:24 Why?

Joe Rogan 4:25 I don't know. It just looks-

Colion Noir 4:27 Somebody said it looks like a Mario, Mario's brother ch-, uh, character.

Joe Rogan 4:30 It just-

Colion Noir 4:31 Like...

Joe Rogan 4:31 ... it just doesn't look as good as like if you go with the 991 GT2 RS hood.

Colion Noir 4:38 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 4:38 You know? Like that, that kind of hood is just, I don't know, it just seems better. That seems, it seems odd, those weird creases. But maybe I'll get used to it. The interior.

Colion Noir 4:47 I mean, if it's-

Joe Rogan 4:47 The interior's spectacular.

Colion Noir 4:48 Oh, they, they, they killed it on the interior.

Joe Rogan 4:50 God, it's so good.

Colion Noir 4:50 'Cause usually, usually Porsche interiors are really spartan in, in a kind of uninspiring way.

Joe Rogan 4:54 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 4:55 Now, there's, it's a beautiful balance of practicality, func-, practicality, practicality. I can't say that word for some reason.

Joe Rogan 5:01 It's... (laughs)

Colion Noir 5:01 What the hell is wrong with me?

Joe Rogan 5:02 Oh, it's practicality.

Colion Noir 5:03 Prac-, prac-, practicality.

Joe Rogan 5:04 (laughs)

Colion Noir 5:04 Right?

Joe Rogan 5:04 That is a good one. It's a weird one.

Colion Noir 5:05 Um, um, but then also still being, you know, still feeling very luxurious without-

Joe Rogan 5:10 Yeah.

Colion Noir 5:10 ... being ostentatious.

Joe Rogan 5:12 And it's a manual. You can get a fucking manual.

Colion Noir 5:16 So...

Joe Rogan 5:17 Look at that wheel too. Ooh.

Colion Noir 5:18 ... about that.

Joe Rogan 5:19 About that. You're not into that?

Colion Noir 5:21 I, I am and I'm not.

Joe Rogan 5:22 You're on, you're on that.

Colion Noir 5:22 I think sometimes people make much to do about nothing with respect to manuals. Like, I think it's kinda the cool thing to do, is to be like, "Yeah, I got a manual."

Joe Rogan 5:29 Yeah, like a man.

Colion Noir 5:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:30 Yeah.

Colion Noir 5:31 It's me.

Joe Rogan 5:31 But it's... It's, I, I feel you, bro. It's me, bro.

Colion Noir 5:33 But sometimes I wonder if, 'cause it's like, it could be synonymous to arguing about having a Nokia flip phone.

Joe Rogan 5:39 No, no, no, it's not.

Narrator 5:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 5:41 No. This is why, because it feels good to use. A flip phone is goofy.

Narrator 5:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:45 But I'll tell you what I haven't used-

Narrator 5:47 That's it.

Joe Rogan 5:47 One-

Narrator 5:47 Well, closing it feels good.

Colion Noir 5:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:49 And then they hang up on people.

Narrator 5:50 And then they hang up on people. "You're fired, Jetson."

Colion Noir 5:52 So-

Joe Rogan 5:53 Snap that thing shut.

Narrator 5:53 That feels good.

Colion Noir 5:54 I think what it is for me, 'cause I, I'm, I'm being a little facetious because I do love manuals. The problem is, so I had a 2000...... '15, uh, Aston Martin Vantage that was a manual, six-speed manual-

Joe Rogan 6:07 Mm.

Colion Noir 6:07 ... which I probably should have held onto now. Um-

Joe Rogan 6:09 If you did, it'd probably be breaking down every five minutes. (laughs)

Colion Noir 6:12 This is true.

Joe Rogan 6:12 (laughs) Those things are dead.

Colion Noir 6:13 This is true. But it would have held, it held, it would have held its value a lot more than Aston Martins typically do.

Joe Rogan 6:18 Mm.

Colion Noir 6:19 Uh, but I remember I used to love it because I would, you know, just run it through the gate and it had a really heavy clutch and a really high bite point.

Joe Rogan 6:25 Mm.

Colion Noir 6:25 So generally speaking, it's terrible. But I got so used to it that I love it now. And except for one, there was one day I was driving, I was coming back, I think I was on 35. Everybody from Dallas knows 35 is trash. And I'm on 35 during rush hour. It took me two and a half hours to get home.

Joe Rogan 6:41 Oh.

Colion Noir 6:42 After that, I literally got home, I put it up, I was like, "I'm selling this car." I wanted nothing to do with it.

Joe Rogan 6:46 Ugh.

Colion Noir 6:46 That, that... It was, it was that... That's how bad that experience was.

Joe Rogan 6:50 That, I can understand.

Colion Noir 6:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:51 Yeah. If you don't have another car and you live in a place with traffic, I get it.

Colion Noir 6:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:56 Yeah.

Colion Noir 6:56 It's-

Joe Rogan 6:57 That's not what you want.

Colion Noir 6:58 It's bad. It's bad.

Joe Rogan 6:58 You want an automatic for that.

Colion Noir 6:59 Bad. Bad.

Joe Rogan 6:59 Yeah, it's the difference between just chilling-

Colion Noir 7:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:02 ... and, and being super annoyed-

Colion Noir 7:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:05 ... for two hours.

Colion Noir 7:06 For two hours straight. Two hours... Ugh.

Joe Rogan 7:07 And if you have a strong, a stiff clutch-

Colion Noir 7:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:09 ... then your left leg gets a little tired-

Colion Noir 7:10 Yep.

Joe Rogan 7:10 ... and then you feel like a real bitch.

Colion Noir 7:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:12 You're like, "I can't believe I'm getting sore."

Colion Noir 7:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:15 "I'm getting, uh, I'm getting some-"

Colion Noir 7:16 No, but it is.

Joe Rogan 7:17 "... lactic acid buildup in my left leg by pushing on my clutch."

Colion Noir 7:20 Now, now if I lived in Austin, I think I would have still had a manual.

Joe Rogan 7:23 Yeah.

Colion Noir 7:23 Um-

Joe Rogan 7:23 The traffic here is a joke.

Colion Noir 7:24 Yeah. But I mean, at least I have somewhere to go to.

Joe Rogan 7:26 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 7:27 Like, you know, I can run off into the hills, um, hill country and drive around those roads there.

Joe Rogan 7:31 Yeah.

Colion Noir 7:31 Whereas in Dallas, I don't... I mean, I, I can't, there's nowhere for me to really just drive for the sake of driving.

Joe Rogan 7:37 I gotta tell you, though, there's a lot of cops out here.

Colion Noir 7:39 Oh, yeah. There are.

Joe Rogan 7:41 (sighs)

Colion Noir 7:41 There are.

Joe Rogan 7:41 A lot of cops waiting around the bus people.

Colion Noir 7:43 But the bea- But the beautiful thing about having, for instance, like, the really curvy roads, you know, the winds and twisty roads-

Joe Rogan 7:49 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 7:49 ... you, you have a good, great time going 40, 50 miles an hour.

Joe Rogan 7:51 Yes, that's true.

Colion Noir 7:52 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 7:52 Yes, they do.

Colion Noir 7:52 It's like you don't have to go-

Joe Rogan 7:53 You feel it.

Colion Noir 7:54 Yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Yeah, yeah.

Colion Noir 7:55 Um, so-

Joe Rogan 7:55 And in a car like that, like, that's-

Colion Noir 7:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:57 ... what it's all about.

Colion Noir 7:58 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 7:59 I just, I love driving manuals. I, I, it's not just a, a meathead thing.

Colion Noir 8:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:03 Like, like, I have, um, a 2005 E46 M3.

Colion Noir 8:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:08 And that's not even that fast.

Colion Noir 8:09 It's not. But I mean, it's-

Joe Rogan 8:10 But I love it.

Colion Noir 8:11 It's a, it... That's classic.

Joe Rogan 8:12 Yeah.

Colion Noir 8:12 I mean, that is, that is when BMW was B-M-fucking-W, uh.

Joe Rogan 8:16 Mm-hmm. Yeah, it feels like you get... It's hard to describe to people that aren't car nuts, but there's an intangible feeling of, like, connectedness to that car when I drive it.

Colion Noir 8:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:26 I don't have to be going fast.

Colion Noir 8:27 No.

Joe Rogan 8:28 But I do go fast sometimes. But, uh, it's just, it's not even that, though. It's the way the car gives you feedback.

Colion Noir 8:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:35 It gives you feed- And it gives you feedback in, like, uh, my GT3 RS.

Colion Noir 8:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:39 I have a 2007 GT3 RS. That car is basically like, you shouldn't be able to drive it-

Colion Noir 8:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:43 ... on the street. It's a preposterous car. 518 horsepower.

Colion Noir 8:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:47 It's a Sharkworks car. It sounds like a dragon.

Colion Noir 8:50 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 8:50 And it, it's so fast. But it's, um, it's much more rowdy. Like-

Colion Noir 8:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:55 ... that... It's got a real stiff clutch. And that car is, um, it's a thing. Y- you're doing a thing.

Colion Noir 9:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:01 It's not really transportation.

Colion Noir 9:02 ... Attraction, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:02 The BMW is transportation-

Colion Noir 9:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:04 ... but it's like engaging transportation.

Colion Noir 9:06 I mean, it literally was the reason why when I was looking, like, my '14 Turbo S now, I was going back and forth between the '14 or '15, or the '15 because '14 is when the engines were blowing up.

Joe Rogan 9:15 (laughs)

Colion Noir 9:15 But (laughs) -

Joe Rogan 9:16 Hmm.

Colion Noir 9:16 ... the, the '15 GT3 versus the Turbo S. And I was going back and forth. And I'm like, "Man, I love how the, the sensorial effects of the GT3 are just phenomenal."

Joe Rogan 9:26 Yeah.

Colion Noir 9:27 Um, and then I'd gotten in a Turbo S, and I realized for my lifestyle, living here in Dallas in the city, it makes more sense to get the Turbo S.

Joe Rogan 9:35 Yeah.

Colion Noir 9:35 Um-

Joe Rogan 9:35 And it's, it's like a time machine.

Colion Noir 9:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:37 The way it gets from point A to point B, it's like...

Colion Noir 9:40 I may or may not have, with my business partner, launch controlled the son of a bitch on this road.

Joe Rogan 9:46 May or may not have.

Colion Noir 9:47 I may, may or may not.

Joe Rogan 9:47 Probably didn't. You probably did.

Colion Noir 9:48 No, I didn't.

Joe Rogan 9:49 I don't think you did.

Colion Noir 9:49 But he did mention something about feeling like he was on a roller coaster.

Joe Rogan 9:52 Yeah, man. That's what they do feel like when they push you back.

Colion Noir 9:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:55 And what's crazy is it's a full second faster for the 2022. A full second 0 to 60.

Colion Noir 10:00 (laughs) That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 10:00 Which is so nuts. Like, to anybody getting in that car and saying, "This is not enough."

Colion Noir 10:05 This is... No.

Joe Rogan 10:05 Well, that's what Elon's done with the new Teslas.

Colion Noir 10:07 Yep.

Joe Rogan 10:07 He's... My car goes 0 to 60 in 2.4 seconds. I have a 2019 or something, 2020, um, P100D, right? Model S P100D.

Colion Noir 10:18 Sounds right.

Joe Rogan 10:18 Is that what they say? And the new one, the Plaid version goes 0 to 60 in 1.9 seconds. That's the 2022.

Colion Noir 10:28 I mean, the only pla- the only next step to go to is flight.

Joe Rogan 10:32 Well, I think he's gonna get it to 1.5 in the, um, in the Roadster.

Colion Noir 10:36 And then he'll, then we'll do flying cars.

Joe Rogan 10:38 Yeah.

Colion Noir 10:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:38 I mean, it'll probably get-

Colion Noir 10:39 That's, that's the only-

Joe Rogan 10:40 ... it'll probably get to one second 0 to 60 soon. They'll, they'll... We will see that in our life. We'll see one second 0 to 60.

Colion Noir 10:47 Now, what does that, now, what is that gonna do to the body from a G's pers-

Joe Rogan 10:50 To the human body?

Colion Noir 10:51 From a, from a G's pers- We're gonna get to a point where the Gs start affecting, affecting the human body in a negative manner.

Joe Rogan 10:55 Right, people start throwing up.

Colion Noir 10:56 Yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 10:56 Have you ever been in a jet, like a fighter jet?

Colion Noir 10:58 No, I refuse. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:59 Oh, you refuse? (laughs)

Colion Noir 11:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:02 But you like speed.

Colion Noir 11:03 I do. That's a weird thing. I'm, I am a walking contradiction.

Joe Rogan 11:06 (laughs)

Colion Noir 11:07 Like-

Joe Rogan 11:07 At least you know it.

Colion Noir 11:08 ... I will... I... Man, I will go... I'm, I'm not saying I've done this, but theoretically speaking, I will go 135 down a freeway, right? Balls to the wall. Put me in a helicopter to hunt hogs, not happening.

Joe Rogan 11:20 You're not interested in that?

Colion Noir 11:21 Nope.

Joe Rogan 11:21 'Cause helicopters crash.

Colion Noir 11:23 I just know too much about helicopter crashes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:25 They do crash. They do crash.

Colion Noir 11:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:26 But if you're in someone, uh, a helicopter with someone who's like a really good pilot-

Colion Noir 11:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:30 ... who knows what they're doing-

Colion Noir 11:31 Which is true.

Joe Rogan 11:31 ... it's well maintained, the odds are very low that you're gonna crash.

Colion Noir 11:34 They are. Now, I'm not... See, you're... There's nothing rational-

Joe Rogan 11:37 Right.

Colion Noir 11:37 ... about my fear. It's just, it's dumb, it's dumb, unmitigated fear. It just, it just makes no sense, but it is.

Joe Rogan 11:42 There is a thing though that if you crash and die while hunting hogs, people will celebrate your death. That is a fact.

Colion Noir 11:50 That doesn't... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:50 There's a certain number of people out there. If you crash, like, going to bring water to Botswana, people are like, "Oh my God-"

Colion Noir 11:57 They, this is true. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:57 "... he was an amazing person."

Colion Noir 11:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:00 If you, if you, you crash eradicating feral hogs in Texas, they're like, "You piece of shit."

Colion Noir 12:06 They, they Will, they... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:07 (laughs) For sure, right?

Colion Noir 12:09 This is true.

Joe Rogan 12:10 Even though they have to do it-

Colion Noir 12:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:11 ... and that's one of the most effective ways to do it.

Colion Noir 12:13 I mean, I'm hated, right? Well-... I'm-

Joe Rogan 12:15 Yeah.

Colion Noir 12:15 ... celebrated and hated right now at the moment.

Joe Rogan 12:17 Well, tell me about this because you, you did your first hunt. You hunted a bison.

Colion Noir 12:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:21 Uh, you know, ethical kill, beautiful, big animal. You'll have m- f- fantastic meat for a year.

Colion Noir 12:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:27 You'll be able to give it to your friends and family. What's the problem?

Colion Noir 12:30 Uh, I don't know (laughs) . Like, I've been a, I've been a two-way advocate for, what, 15 close... 15, 6- 16 years?

Joe Rogan 12:37 For you nerds out there-

Colion Noir 12:38 And it's-

Joe Rogan 12:38 ... that's the Second Amendment.

Colion Noir 12:39 Yeah, like-

Joe Rogan 12:40 Right to bear arms.

Colion Noir 12:41 Guns. Pew, pew.

Joe Rogan 12:42 Jamie's got a gun.

Colion Noir 12:42 Right? You got a gun, Jamie?

Narrator 12:45 Uh...

Joe Rogan 12:45 (laughs)

Colion Noir 12:46 It's Texas.

Narrator 12:46 Well, I'm missing parts of it.

Colion Noir 12:47 Wait, how long, how long have you been in Texas?

Joe Rogan 12:48 He got a gun-

Narrator 12:49 Two months, yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:49 ... the first month.

Narrator 12:50 Yeah, first week.

Colion Noir 12:50 Okay.

Joe Rogan 12:50 Tim Kennedy gave him-

Colion Noir 12:52 Got it.

Joe Rogan 12:52 ... the first week? Was that our first week?

Narrator 12:53 I think so, yeah.

Colion Noir 12:53 You should be at, like... You should be about... At five or six right now. We gotta bump those rookie numbers up, man (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 12:57 I got three this week (laughs) .

Narrator 12:58 Oh, no. So, you get one a week, or... ?

Colion Noir 13:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:00 I did get three this week. I'm not joking.

Narrator 13:01 I got more shoes since I've been here.

Colion Noir 13:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:05 (laughs)

Narrator 13:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:05 Jamie's a sneakerhead.

Colion Noir 13:07 I'm a transient sneaker... I'm like, I'm a nostalgic sneakerhead.

Joe Rogan 13:10 Yeah. Oh, you like-

Colion Noir 13:10 Yes.

Joe Rogan 13:10 ... the old school ones?

Colion Noir 13:11 Well, just the shoes that I couldn't buy when I was younger.

Joe Rogan 13:13 Oh, okay.

Colion Noir 13:13 Like now that I, like, have a little bit of money, I'm like, "Okay, yeah. Let me, let me get these for..." Like, I just bought the, uh, the Reebok Questions, the, the Allen Iversons.

Joe Rogan 13:19 Oh, those look-

Colion Noir 13:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:21 ... good.

Colion Noir 13:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:21 I'm generally not a Reebok fan-

Colion Noir 13:23 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 13:23 ... but those are, those are pretty dope-looking, man.

Colion Noir 13:25 Yeah. Those were... I remember those. I mean, I was obsessed with Iverson.

Joe Rogan 13:27 Yeah.

Colion Noir 13:27 But... But yeah, man. Like, all right, I go on this hunt. It's my fir... Like, I've hunted hogs, right?

Joe Rogan 13:32 Right.

Colion Noir 13:33 Um, but, you know, just a... Like, a real hunt.

Joe Rogan 13:35 Real hunt?

Colion Noir 13:36 Real hunt.

Joe Rogan 13:36 Yeah.

Colion Noir 13:36 Even though hunting hogs is a real hunt. That's a real hunt. I won't give people t- the misconception that it's not real, but-

Joe Rogan 13:42 There's a lot of them.

Colion Noir 13:42 E- exactly. In Texas, it's kind of like what you do-

Joe Rogan 13:45 Yeah.

Colion Noir 13:45 ... because there are just so many of them and they're causing so much damage. Um, and so my ammo sponsor, Nosler, they, they... They were like, "Hey, look. You want to come on a bison hunt? We have an opportunity. We have a spot for you to go on to bison hunt. By the way, they have a rifle coming

Colion Noir 14:00 for you."

Joe Rogan 14:00 Yeah, that's-

Colion Noir 14:01 Yeah, they... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:01 ... the... That's number three for the week.

Colion Noir 14:02 I got it right (laughs) .

Narrator 14:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:03 At the range right now. It's hilarious.

Colion Noir 14:05 So, it w- it would literally be the same rifle that I used to, to hunt my buffalo with. Um, so we go there and... So, I'm like, "Yeah, cool. Let's do it," right? I'm like, "Fine, let's go hunt a buffalo." And I've always looked at buffaloes as being very mage- I... They're just majestic animals.

Joe Rogan 14:21 Mm.

Colion Noir 14:21 Like, I... Like, I... They're beautiful.

Joe Rogan 14:23 Yeah, they're amazing.

Colion Noir 14:24 Um, and I also love bison burgers. So (laughs) , for me, it just made sense. I'm like, "Okay, so let me get this straight. You have a guy who 90% of the time Uber Eats his food."

Joe Rogan 14:35 That's what you do-

Colion Noir 14:35 That's what I...

Joe Rogan 14:35 ... 90% of the time?

Colion Noir 14:37 (sighs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:37 90?

Colion Noir 14:38 It's bad, bro. It's pretty bad.

Joe Rogan 14:39 You trust those dudes?

Colion Noir 14:40 No.

Joe Rogan 14:40 They're gonna pick your fries and-

Colion Noir 14:42 I don't trust them at all, but-

Joe Rogan 14:43 But you do it anyway?

Colion Noir 14:44 Yeah. It's-

Joe Rogan 14:45 (laughs)

Colion Noir 14:45 It's more... It's, it's purely out of convenience-

Joe Rogan 14:48 Right.

Colion Noir 14:48 It's a time thing for me.

Joe Rogan 14:49 I get it. I get it.

Colion Noir 14:49 'Cause it's like my whole day is so filled. It's literally the moment I wake up, I've got to make every aspect of my life efficient, as efficient as possible.

Joe Rogan 14:56 I get it.

Colion Noir 14:56 Um, but, you know, I've always said... You know, my dad was an executive chef and so, for me, I've always said, "You know what? I'm gonna really... I'm gonna sit down to just really learn how to cook," right? And so I was like, "What better way to start than cooking my own bison meat?"

Joe Rogan 15:10 Perfect.

Colion Noir 15:10 Right? So, I had all the perfect justifications and reasons to go on a bison hunt. So, I go on this bison hunt and (laughs) ... I remember we're driving... So, like, at the... The place is expansive. Like, it, it's huge.

Joe Rogan 15:24 Where'd you go?

Colion Noir 15:24 It was in, uh, Pueblo, Colorado. Um, and so it was freaking beautiful, man. And so we're going and we're, we're looking for the bison and, um, we finally find there's, there's like four of them, four older males that apparently they're no longer breeding or mating or anything like that. They're just really honestly causing havoc.

Joe Rogan 15:43 Right.

Colion Noir 15:43 Um, they're killing other buffalo and-

Joe Rogan 15:45 Yeah.

Colion Noir 15:45 ... you know, shit like that. And then ev- I learned really quickly buffaloes are assholes.

Joe Rogan 15:50 Assholes.

Colion Noir 15:51 Assholes.

Joe Rogan 15:51 (laughs)

Colion Noir 15:51 We'll get into that in a bit-

Narrator 15:52 Yeah (laughs) .

Colion Noir 15:52 ... because it's a good part of your story.

Narrator 15:54 Yeah (laughs) .

Colion Noir 15:55 So, we're sitting there and so we find the buffalo. So, we're like, we got to figure out how to approach them, right? 'Cause we don't want to spook them, right? They're... Um, and they're, they're very skittish. Very skittish. And so what we did was we decided... Because it was very hilly and so we decided, all right, said we were going to walk around the hill, come up over the crest of the hill, and then take the shot from there. So, we, we walked, uh, trekked around it... What? Trekked around the hill, went up the hill, got situated, um, and then-

Joe Rogan 16:22 And you have a guide that shows you-

Colion Noir 16:23 Yeah, we had a guide. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:24 Okay.

Colion Noir 16:24 Mm-hmm. And, um, set the gun down. And the guys when we were on, on the way to the place where we were going to go hunt, he was like, "Look, you're gonna get what they call buck fever." You know what that is? That-

Joe Rogan 16:33 Oh, yeah.

Narrator 16:34 Yeah.

Colion Noir 16:34 He's like, "You're gonna get buck fever."

Narrator 16:35 Uh-huh.

Colion Noir 16:35 "You're gonna..." Like, "You're gonna get anxious. Your heart's gonna start pounding, especially when you see the animal through your optics." You're talking to somebody who's for the better half of ten years been shooting at still targets and paper.

Joe Rogan 16:45 Right.

Colion Noir 16:46 Right? So, um, I was like, "Okay, good to know." Um, so we sat down to get the rifle up there. I didn't get buck fever. It was weird. I got extremely calm. Extremely calm. It was extremely quiet. And I remember looking through the optic and seeing the buffalo, because at this point it was... it wasn't... It was broadside initially, and then it turned. And so literally he and I were looking at each other through the optic.

Joe Rogan 17:17 Oh, wow.

Colion Noir 17:18 Yeah. And so it was a... it was an interesting experience. It was different, um, because in a weird way I developed an insatiable amount of respect for the buffalo during this whole process. I don't, I don't even know really quite how to explain it. You're more of a hunter than I am, so maybe you can tell me. But I remember taking the shot. Um, he did not go down instantly, um, so I had to take another shot. Here's where it got interesting. Soon as you could see... He starts bleeding a little bit, so you know he's getting ready to go down. The three buffalo that he was with, these were supposed to be his friends. At least, that's what I thought (laughs) . Soon as they catch wind of the fact that he's hurt, the two... three of them start chasing him and they start coming up to attack him. I mean, they have their horns and they're, they're trying to gore him. And I'm like, "What the hell is going on?" And guy's like, "That's what they do. The moment they sense weakness and a bigger buck, they attack him." Almost as if to say-

Joe Rogan 18:16 Yeah, you gotta call them bulls. If you call them bucks-

Colion Noir 18:18 Bucks... Yeah, I get confused.

Joe Rogan 18:18 ... you're gonna get mad at your-

Colion Noir 18:19 Yeah. My bad, guys. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:20 It's okay (laughs) .

Colion Noir 18:20 Bulls, yeah (laughs) . So, um-They attack him, apparently. Um, almost as if to say, "Finally, it't my turn now," right?

Joe Rogan 18:28 Yeah. Yeah.

Colion Noir 18:28 "To be the big dog." And so, they, they start attacking. So my bull takes off running. And I'm like, "Uh, shit. We gotta go after this thing now," right? So now he takes off running and I can't get another shot off because he's taken off running around another hill.

Joe Rogan 18:44 Oh.

Colion Noir 18:44 So now, we have to, uh, dismount, get up and start following him. And so then, we get closer. He comes back around the other side of the hill. They're still chasing him and they're goring him the whole time.

Joe Rogan 18:55 Tss.

Colion Noir 18:55 And so finally, he's, um... He drops, but he's still kinda... His hind... He's still kind of on his hind legs a little bit. So I was like, "I've gotta put this guy out of his misery," right? And so... And I think he was running off pure adrenaline at this point.

Joe Rogan 19:07 Right.

Colion Noir 19:07 And so I, I get down, take the shot. He drops, he's done. Now at this point, the smaller of the two bulls, of the three bulls that remains, he's still with my buffalo. Kind of like, "Get up. I dare you. I dare you."

Joe Rogan 19:22 (laughs)

Colion Noir 19:22 And he's just like... He's just kinda like... And I'm like, "What the hell?" And then the two bigger bulls are now going at it. I mean, insanely. They're just boom, boom, boom, boom.

Joe Rogan 19:32 Wow.

Colion Noir 19:32 So they... I'm like, "What the hell?" So we can't do anything.

Joe Rogan 19:36 You have to wait.

Colion Noir 19:36 Yeah. So I'm like... So we're like about 70 yards away. Just kind of on the top of the hill, like just over the crest of the hill, just kind of waiting 'cause we don't want them to see us 'cause then their attention is gonna turn to something else. So now, at this point, they're going at it. I mean, it's nuts. I got it on video.

Joe Rogan 19:52 Oh, wow.

Colion Noir 19:53 And they're just da, da, da, da, da, da. I'm like, "They're gonna kill each other."

Joe Rogan 19:55 Can you show us the video?

Colion Noir 19:56 Uh, I don't have it on me now.

Joe Rogan 19:58 Oh, yeah.

Colion Noir 19:58 But yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:58 But like... Did you show them on the camera?

Colion Noir 19:59 Yeah, my, my videographer. Yeah, yeah, he has it. Um, so at this point... I'll send it to you if you want it.

Joe Rogan 20:04 Okay.

Colion Noir 20:05 And at this point, they stop. And then they do this... I'm like, "Oh, shit." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:13 They turn and look at you? Oh, no. And that... And you only have a tag for one buffalo.

Colion Noir 20:17 Exactly. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:18 So it's not like you can shoot them if they run at you. Oh, no.

Colion Noir 20:20 And not only that, I only have one round in my rifle.

Joe Rogan 20:23 Oh, no.

Colion Noir 20:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:25 That's not good.

Colion Noir 20:26 Yeah, but me being the gun guy that I am, I had a tw-... I had a 10 millimeter handgun with me.

Joe Rogan 20:32 (laughs)

Colion Noir 20:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:33 Did you have a 10 millimeter handgun in case?

Colion Noir 20:35 Yes. I'm not playing with you fools. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:38 (laughs) So just in case something goes wrong and the buffalo just-

Colion Noir 20:41 That is literally-

Joe Rogan 20:41 Do you think you could stop a, a buffalo with a 10 millimeter handgun?

Colion Noir 20:45 You want the honest truth?

Joe Rogan 20:46 Yeah.

Colion Noir 20:46 No.

Joe Rogan 20:47 I don't think so.

Colion Noir 20:48 But-

Joe Rogan 20:48 You'd hurt them.

Colion Noir 20:49 ... it's, it's better-

Joe Rogan 20:50 Than not having one.

Colion Noir 20:51 ... than not having one. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:52 Yeah. For sure.

Colion Noir 20:53 And, and at bare minimum, I would at least hope that it would make it seem like the buffalo's like, "I could keep running through this, but this is, this is harder than it needs to be."

Joe Rogan 21:03 Right.

Colion Noir 21:03 "So, I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna go the other direction."

Joe Rogan 21:06 I wonder what a 10 millimeter... Like, when guys hunt bear-

Colion Noir 21:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:11 ... or when they hunt in bear country, they, and they bring a gun, there's a lot of debate about what round to bring. Like, a lot of guys bring a .45.

Colion Noir 21:19 See, I was gonna bring a, uh, a Ruger. I have a Ruger Redhawk in Alaskan, a .454 pistol.

Joe Rogan 21:24 Hmm.

Colion Noir 21:24 Um, I was gonna bring that. The only problem is, my holst... I had a... I, I ordered a rig holst-, a chest holster for it. It didn't come in, um, fast enough. Damn shipping. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:34 Oh.

Colion Noir 21:35 So, so I was already gone before it came in.

Joe Rogan 21:37 Right.

Colion Noir 21:37 And so I would've, I would've carried that because that would... I think would've done a better job than-

Joe Rogan 21:42 So you wanted to have it on you, not in a pack.

Colion Noir 21:44 Yeah, no. I wanted it on.

Joe Rogan 21:45 Even though you have the rifle, you want it just in case. Yeah.

Colion Noir 21:47 Let me... So there's a... I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a tactical shooter, right?

Joe Rogan 21:52 Right.

Colion Noir 21:52 So to speak. You know, for people who kind of say I'm different types of shooters. Um, not... And I'm not a hunter. I hunt, but I'm not... I wouldn't consider myself a hunter. I'm more like a tactical shooter. I have ARs, you know, semi- automatic handguns.

Joe Rogan 22:02 Yeah.

Colion Noir 22:02 Things of that nature. So, you know, you can, you can take the tactical shooter off of the range, but you can't take the tactical shooter out of the tactical shooter.

Joe Rogan 22:10 Right, right.

Colion Noir 22:10 Right? So I-

Joe Rogan 22:11 You think tactically.

Colion Noir 22:12 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 22:13 Yeah.

Colion Noir 22:13 So I'm like, all right. I have my, I have my handgun and then I also... Soon as we... 'Cause the, the other guys were gonna get their bull too. I switched out. Instead of having a bolt-action, I went and got an AR, and that's what I was carrying the rest of the hunt.

Joe Rogan 22:27 Oh, really?

Colion Noir 22:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:28 So, so how many guys were you with that were hunting?

Colion Noir 22:31 Three.

Joe Rogan 22:32 So, and they all went and got buffalos as well?

Colion Noir 22:34 Yeah. Well, it was me and the f-... On the day that I did it, two of us got buffalo. Um, and his, his, his hunt was insane. His hunt was freaking insane. (laughs) because we saw... We, we spotted them, and so we tried the same thing. We tried to ride around the, around the hill to get up top to, to, um, to shoot from there, from that position. And however, between us doing that, coming around the hill, they had actually come to the bottom of the hill. So when we peeked over the crest, they, they caught wind of us and took off.

Joe Rogan 23:07 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 23:08 So now, what would have been maybe a 100 or 200-yard shot has now turned into a 500-yard shot. So, the guy, Garrett, literally was already set up, getting set up. They took off running. (laughs) He didn't even hesitate. He took off in a full sprint with his, with his bolt-action rifle. Takes off, gets in another position. The guide has these, these, uh, binoculars that range find, so he's yelling it out as the buffalo are running. He's like, "300, 400." That's another thing. I didn't know these things could move this fast.

Joe Rogan 23:37 They move quick for big animals.

Colion Noir 23:38 They move quickly, yeah. Like, people have... Like, see... Look, all the people... All these city rats who are like me, 'cause I'm a city rat, right? Grew up in the city. I don't know shit about animals like that, except for what I watch on Netflix when I get drunk. So... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:51 (laughs)

Colion Noir 23:51 So, these things move.

Joe Rogan 23:54 They move.

Colion Noir 23:54 And then they cover so much ground because they're so big. So it's not like the legs are moving that fast. They just cover a lot of ground quickly. And so the guy, the guide's like, "300, 400, 500." And he's tsk, tsk, boom. Drops him.

Joe Rogan 24:09 Wow.

Colion Noir 24:10 It gets up. I was like, "What in the world?" It gets up and starts running again. So now he has to tsk, tsk. Now he's like, "560." Boom, drops him. It gets up again. So I'm like, "Gosh." And, and we're not using bullshit rounds here. So-At this point, so now we dismount, we start walking up and getting closer. So I have my little AR with me and he was with the... Remember, these are, this is the other two that were fighting-

Joe Rogan 24:38 Right.

Colion Noir 24:38 ... before. So, 'cause it took us almost three or four hours to find him again. So this time, um, so after he tagged him, dropped him, now he's up again. His friend is now running back around towards us as we're walking towa- towards him. And so I'm like, oh, but they can't see it from their vantage point 'cause I'm further back. And so I'm just like, "Hey, his friend is coming." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:03 Oh, no. Coming to attack?

Colion Noir 25:05 I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm a fish out of water here.

Joe Rogan 25:07 Right.

Colion Noir 25:07 I'm just kind of like, I just see a, I just see a buffalo running and I just assume the worst. And so now I'm like, "Hey." So I start running up and I'm like, so I rack around into my AR. I don't know what the hell this thing's gonna do.

Joe Rogan 25:18 Right.

Colion Noir 25:18 I just, I'm just preparing for the worst. Um, but long story short, he just kept running. Like he didn't, he didn't come to attack. He just kept running in the opposite direction.

Joe Rogan 25:25 He's just trying to get the fuck out of Dodge.

Colion Noir 25:26 Yeah, he was kind of disoriented. He's like, you know-

Joe Rogan 25:27 Yeah.

Colion Noir 25:27 ... where the danger is. He's like, "Damn, they killed two of my homeboys already."

Joe Rogan 25:30 Right.

Colion Noir 25:30 So he's gone, um, and I remember the buffalo now is on the ground and he's trying to stand up.

Joe Rogan 25:39 Jesus Christ.

Colion Noir 25:40 And they, they are n- and his hits were good, but man, they, they are tough son of bitches, man. And he drops him-

Joe Rogan 25:46 That's an enormous animal.

Colion Noir 25:47 Oh my God, they're huge.

Joe Rogan 25:48 They're so big.

Colion Noir 25:49 They're huge. And all I remember is he, he hits him again and he drops and then the buffalo does this. So he's like, he's facing this way, right? Drops and the buffalo goes whoo and just snarls at him.

Joe Rogan 26:04 Oh, Jesus.

Colion Noir 26:05 Yeah. And I'm like, "It's kinda batshit." (laughs) Like, like-

Joe Rogan 26:10 Oh, for sure.

Colion Noir 26:10 I had so much respect for this thing, man. Um, and you know, ne- inevitably he ended up, he ended up dying. Um, but that was, that was my first buffalo hunt, right? First net-

Joe Rogan 26:22 First hunt period, right? First hunt ever.

Colion Noir 26:24 Pretty much, yeah, yeah. Um, and then after that, you know, we, we took the buffalo, um, got skinned, um, processed the meat, all that stuff. Uh, I'm still waiting for the meat to get here. Um, yeah, so then I put a video together about all of this that I just told you and put it up on my social media page. That got interesting. (laughs) There are a lot of people who don't like hunting.

Joe Rogan 26:47 Now, do you think these people also ate meat or were they-

Colion Noir 26:51 I'm pretty sure of it.

Joe Rogan 26:52 Some of them?

Colion Noir 26:53 I think there was some, 'cause I even put up a question. I said, "Honestly speaking, honest question, do vegans and anti-hunters get mad at lions?" And my whole thing was, I eat meat. I can un- I respect people who don't, but I don't see what the problem with me killing my own food is. I just don't... I'm, I'm at a loss here.

Joe Rogan 27:17 What, what was the com- was there a common argument against what you were doing?

Colion Noir 27:21 Yeah, a lot of people were saying, some people... not saying a lot, 'cause the positives are actually overwhelmingly positive.

Joe Rogan 27:26 Yeah.

Colion Noir 27:26 But there was just a noticeable uptick in like the negative comments, and-

Joe Rogan 27:29 Isn't that just social media in general though?

Colion Noir 27:31 Pretty much. Yeah. But I mean, you, you told me not to read the comments.

Joe Rogan 27:35 (laughs)

Colion Noir 27:35 You did. You did.

Joe Rogan 27:37 I did?

Colion Noir 27:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:37 Well, you have a fucking giant dead animal and you're standing-

Colion Noir 27:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:40 ... there with a rifle. I'm like, "Bro." (laughs)

Colion Noir 27:42 I n- I never, I never posted that. That's the... Here's the crazy thing. In the video-

Joe Rogan 27:45 Oh, that picture you sent me you never posted?

Colion Noir 27:46 No.

Joe Rogan 27:46 Oh, okay.

Colion Noir 27:47 No. In the video, you don't even see the actual buffalo get shot.

Joe Rogan 27:51 Oh, okay.

Colion Noir 27:51 No. I sh- you see me shoot the gun, but you don't see the buffalo get shot. You don't even see the dead buffalo in the video.

Joe Rogan 27:57 That's gonna make hunters mad.

Colion Noir 27:59 I, I figured as much.

Joe Rogan 28:00 'Cause they want, they wanna see-

Colion Noir 28:01 Yeah, they wanna see it. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:01 They wanna see the hit.

Colion Noir 28:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:03 Yeah.

Colion Noir 28:03 I might have to put it on Patreon or something. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:05 Just put it on YouTube, man.

Colion Noir 28:07 I'm just... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:07 Just put it on YouTube. Hunters will welcome you to the fold. First of all, they'll love you-

Colion Noir 28:11 They-

Joe Rogan 28:11 ... 'cause you're already a Second Amendment advocate, lawyer.

Colion Noir 28:13 That's, that's what happened.

Joe Rogan 28:14 Yeah, for sure.

Colion Noir 28:15 That's definitely what happened. Um, and, and then, you know, and I welcomed it. I really did because I understand-

Joe Rogan 28:19 Those are the people you want on your side anyway.

Colion Noir 28:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:21 They're, they, they're logical about their food consumption and how... where it comes from and where it... And if you're a meat eater that doesn't support hunting, I, I just-

Colion Noir 28:29 No.

Joe Rogan 28:29 ... don't know what to tell you.

Colion Noir 28:30 I don't either. I'm at a loss.

Joe Rogan 28:30 If you don't want to be responsible for your own food, I don't, I don't... You know, that argument is not gonna hold up. You know, you could say it if no one's going back and forth with you on social media-

Colion Noir 28:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:40 ... and that's what a lot of it is.

Colion Noir 28:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:42 But it's just a lot of people that don't want to accept the reality of where food comes from, you know? They just... they don't like it.

Colion Noir 28:47 And-

Joe Rogan 28:47 It's uncomfortable for them.

Colion Noir 28:49 And the thing about it is it's like, okay, I get it if you don't want to face the reality of it, but to judge me for doing the thing that you don't want to see even though you benefit from it, from the standpoint of having to kill an animal in order to eat it-

Joe Rogan 29:01 Yeah.

Colion Noir 29:01 ... I think it's ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 29:02 Dude, it's... whatever you do, there's gonna be haters.

Colion Noir 29:05 True.

Joe Rogan 29:05 And as your profiles continue to rise, as you become more and more popular online, your hater count-

Colion Noir 29:12 It-

Joe Rogan 29:12 ... goes up too.

Colion Noir 29:13 Which is true. And I n- and I don't account for that, I think.

Joe Rogan 29:16 Yeah.

Colion Noir 29:16 I don't because it's-

Joe Rogan 29:17 You have to. Yeah.

Colion Noir 29:18 Yeah. 'Cause it's, it's... and I, like I said, I've, I, I did notice a difference. When you told me to stop reading the comments and I did, I did notice a difference.

Joe Rogan 29:25 You feel better, right?

Colion Noir 29:26 Yeah, but I'm like an a-

Joe Rogan 29:27 (laughs)

Colion Noir 29:27 I'm like an addict though, right?

Joe Rogan 29:28 Right.

Colion Noir 29:29 So it's like I'll find myself just instinctively... Yeah, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 29:33 Yeah, that's not healthy.

Colion Noir 29:35 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 29:35 It's not healthy. It'll-

Colion Noir 29:36 It's not.

Joe Rogan 29:36 'Cause you'll find one comment that's just ignorant and asshole-ish and it'll fuck with your head, and then, you know, you'll be hanging out with your girlfriend or you're b- you're having a good time with your friend. You'll be eating dinner and then you just think about that one shitty comment. I'm like, "Fuck that guy." And-

Colion Noir 29:52 The most dangerous is when I'm... 'cause I go, I go to bars by myself a lot. And so I'll be at a bar eating, drinking, and there'll be that one comment and I'm like, "Oh shit, it's coming." Because at that point my filter is off.

Joe Rogan 30:05 Right.

Colion Noir 30:05 So like I've already got like two drinks in me and then it's just like...

Joe Rogan 30:08 And then you go back and forth with them? Oh.

Colion Noir 30:11 Oh, that's bad, bro.

Joe Rogan 30:11 Yeah, that's not smart.

Colion Noir 30:12 It's bad.

Joe Rogan 30:12 That's not wise.

Colion Noir 30:13 No, it's not.

Joe Rogan 30:14 You want harmony and peace in your life as w- whenever possible. You know, you can't-

Colion Noir 30:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:18 And if you just seek out... The thing about social media is like these people are not in your life. You can bring them in your life-

Colion Noir 30:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:25 ... if you choose to. When you post... put something online-... those folks that comment, they're not really in your life.

Colion Noir 30:31 That's true.

Joe Rogan 30:32 They want to get in there by saying-

Colion Noir 30:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:33 ... "Fuck you, you piece of shit-"

Colion Noir 30:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:34 ... "You shot that buffalo."

Narrator 30:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:35 "It's a majestic creature. They're, they're almost extinct."

Colion Noir 30:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:38 "We almost lost them all." And, which kind of is true. It is true. At one point in time, yeah.

Colion Noir 30:43 Yeah. But the whole, the whole point of what we were doing out there was to preserve. I know it seems counterintuitive. But I mean-

Joe Rogan 30:51 It does seem counterintuitive.

Colion Noir 30:51 ... isn't that how conserv- isn't that how conservation-

Joe Rogan 30:53 Yeah.

Colion Noir 30:53 ... works? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:54 Well, people need to understand where the money goes. The money goes to habitat enhancement, like (sighs) when ... There's a thing called the Pittman-Robertson Act, or the Robert ... What is it? Robinson-Pitt- Pittman-Robertson, I think it is. And, uh, it's hunters agreed to it and I believe it's 10%. So 10% of sales of, uh, whether it's ammunition, hunting licenses-

Colion Noir 31:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:19 ... gear, all that shit, goes to conservation.

Colion Noir 31:23 Okay.

Joe Rogan 31:23 So there's more money raised by hunters for conservation. Preservation of wetlands for wild birds, and all the, uh, uh, pres- uh, and the, and the, to pay for, um, people to monitor populations and make sure that the correct amount of tags are allocated so that there's not a, an over-harvesting.

Colion Noir 31:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:43 And then also that animals don't get out of control.

Colion Noir 31:46 Control.

Joe Rogan 31:46 Because if they get out of control, then diseases can spread-

Colion Noir 31:50 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 31:50 ... and a lot of other shit, and research about diseases. All that stuff comes from hunting. And it's not coming from wildlife advocates.

Colion Noir 31:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:56 It's not coming from, you know, uh, PETA or any of these people. Way more money-

Colion Noir 32:01 Sorry.

Joe Rogan 32:02 ... for conservation comes from hunting.

Colion Noir 32:04 I was doing a, um ... I watched a video about why is it so hard to, um, to start a business in California. And one of the problems that I think a lot of builders are running into, like when you ... Like, the, like real estate development is you start running into these animal activist groups who will literally shut down, try to shut down your project with lawsuits, um, on the grounds of, you know, this is a ha- natural habitat for such-

Joe Rogan 32:28 Yeah.

Colion Noir 32:28 ... and such and such. But it really honestly is a revenue generating scheme. It's kind of like their way of kind of poaching money from a project, uh, through legal means.

Joe Rogan 32:38 Yeah.

Colion Noir 32:39 Uh-

Joe Rogan 32:39 Getting you to donate-

Colion Noir 32:40 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 32:40 ... air quotes.

Colion Noir 32:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:41 Yeah.

Colion Noir 32:42 Um-

Joe Rogan 32:42 It does happen-

Colion Noir 32:43 Always interesting.

Joe Rogan 32:43 ... but in some situations.

Colion Noir 32:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:44 Especially with large swaths of land.

Colion Noir 32:47 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 32:48 It's-

Colion Noir 32:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:48 ... almost inevitable.

Colion Noir 32:49 I thought it was-

Joe Rogan 32:50 Yeah.

Colion Noir 32:50 I thought that was very interesting.

Joe Rogan 32:51 California is so fucked.

Colion Noir 32:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:53 In so many ways with that.

Colion Noir 32:55 Which s- which hurts my heart, 'cause it's just the potential there is just amazing.

Joe Rogan 32:58 Well, that's the ... The problem is, I hate to say it, but there's just too many people.

Colion Noir 33:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:02 When you get too many people, two things happen. One, everybody is liberal. (laughs)

Colion Noir 33:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:07 I don't know why that's the case.

Colion Noir 33:08 That is true.

Joe Rogan 33:09 But it's the truth.

Colion Noir 33:10 That is very true.

Joe Rogan 33:11 New York, California-

Colion Noir 33:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:12 ... is, uh, uh ... You know, I think everybody's living together and so they think they're being compassionate and, and I get it. Like their heart's in, in the right place. They think they're doing the right thing. But for what ... And it's a lot of it's also whenever you have large populations you have a large amount of universities.

Colion Noir 33:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:28 And universities, you have people that are teaching at these universities that are almost predominantly liberal, and they're teaching all these people and they're, they're ... A lot of times they're teaching, and it's not from a place of experience in the real world.

Colion Noir 33:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:40 Their experience is in academia.

Colion Noir 33:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:42 They went to school, they got out of school, they taught school.

Colion Noir 33:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:45 And that's their life.

Colion Noir 33:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:46 And then they're teaching kids, and then they keep teaching kids Marxism, socialism, communist ideals, these ideas about this, uh, utopian version-

Colion Noir 33:54 Version of society, yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:55 ... of society that can be created, but they don't even live in society. Like they don't, they don't exist.

Colion Noir 33:59 They really don't. They literally live in a microcosm of academia.

Joe Rogan 34:02 Hmm.

Colion Noir 34:02 Literally.

Joe Rogan 34:03 But that microcosm is currently in- infecting all these businesses 'cause these people leave and then they have these ideals that they want-

Colion Noir 34:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:11 ... to inject into these businesses when they leave and in their early 20s, they're idealistic, they want to change the world for the better. They want to stomp out all the bad things in the world. They want to reshape it in a more equitable way. And, boy, there's a lot of regulation that comes into that. And then you got a lot of businesses that can't handle all this regulation and they move out of state-

Colion Noir 34:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:29 ... and then ... There's a lot of weird shit going on, man. California's just, it's cr- and when it comes to wildlife it's really crazy.

Colion Noir 34:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:36 You know, they've, they've outlawed a lot of different kinds of hunting. They almost outlawed bear hunting in California. They came really close. And then they got so much blowback-

Colion Noir 34:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:45 ... from hunters, because so many people are like first of all, you have a lot of black bear-

Colion Noir 34:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:51 ... in California. A lot. And they eat a lot of deer. They ... And there's, this is one of the things where wildlife biologists are really important, because they will monitor populations and they can, they can estimate like (clears throat) what amount of fawns-

Colion Noir 35:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:06 ... are victims of predation.

Colion Noir 35:09 100%.

Joe Rogan 35:09 Because of mountain lions versus bears. And bears and mountain lions, they kill a fucking staggering amount of deer.

Colion Noir 35:16 Ah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:16 Staggering amount of animals.

Colion Noir 35:19 I ... Comes to mind is that, uh, that one video of the guy who was hiking. And then he got attacked by the cougar.

Joe Rogan 35:26 Oh, the one that was running at him?

Colion Noir 35:28 Yeah, that was running at him, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:28 Well, that guy fucked up. That-

Colion Noir 35:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:30 That is a scary video, man.

Colion Noir 35:31 S- that's why I carry a 10 millimeter.

Joe Rogan 35:33 That's a good move.

Colion Noir 35:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:34 For that.

Colion Noir 35:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:35 That's a good move.

Colion Noir 35:35 Like 'cause we have them in Texas.

Joe Rogan 35:37 Oh, yeah.

Colion Noir 35:38 So like if I'm-

Joe Rogan 35:38 Oh, yeah.

Colion Noir 35:38 ... going hog hunting, I am worried about mount-

Joe Rogan 35:41 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 35:41 ... a mountain lion.

Joe Rogan 35:41 Oh, yeah.

Colion Noir 35:41 Like and you, and-

Joe Rogan 35:43 Yeah.

Colion Noir 35:43 ... usually if they are hunting you, it's kind of too late. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:45 See if you can find that video-

Colion Noir 35:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:46 ... 'cause that video freaks me out.

Colion Noir 35:48 It really does.

Joe Rogan 35:48 'Cause the thing, I didn't-

Colion Noir 35:49 It's-

Joe Rogan 35:49 ... know they moved like that.

Colion Noir 35:50 D- I didn't either. I didn't either.

Joe Rogan 35:51 ' Ca- I think it was a female and I think she had cubs-

Colion Noir 35:54 Cubs, and where they're-

Joe Rogan 35:54 ... and I think she was trying to scare him off.

Colion Noir 35:56 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 35:56 I don't think she was trying to kill him.

Colion Noir 35:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:57 But when she's running with her arms like- (hisses)

Colion Noir 35:59 Arms out, yeah. That's, no, it, that's seared in my brain.

Joe Rogan 36:02 Woo.

Colion Noir 36:02 Like it's a sla-

Joe Rogan 36:02 Like a demon.

Colion Noir 36:03 Yeah. Like a demon.

Joe Rogan 36:04 I mean, look, I give him this, he handled it like a G.

Colion Noir 36:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:07 But-

Colion Noir 36:08 I s-

Joe Rogan 36:08 He was probably paralyzed with fear.

Colion Noir 36:09 Yeah. But it would have been a-

Joe Rogan 36:10 (laughs)

Colion Noir 36:10 It would have been a lot ... It probably would have ended a lot quicker with you.

Joe Rogan 36:15 Yeah. (laughs)

Colion Noir 36:15 I'm just- I'm just saying, like-

Joe Rogan 36:16 Yeah.

Colion Noir 36:16 And I don't want to shoot it if I don't have-

Joe Rogan 36:18 Right.

Colion Noir 36:18 ... to.

Joe Rogan 36:18 Yeah. But you want to come home to your family.

Colion Noir 36:19 I'm going home.

Joe Rogan 36:20 Yeah.

Colion Noir 36:20 It's like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:20 I'm going home. I'm going home too.

Colion Noir 36:22 But, uh-

Joe Rogan 36:22 I hear you. Yeah, I don't want to shoot my... I love mountain lions. I think they're cool as fuck.

Colion Noir 36:26 I love-

Joe Rogan 36:26 I love wolves too.

Colion Noir 36:26 My high school mascot was a cougar.

Joe Rogan 36:30 Oh.

Colion Noir 36:30 Right? That was a pretty-... far reach. But anyway-

Narrator 36:34 That's a reach. (laughs)

Colion Noir 36:35 ... it has a reach like a motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 36:35 (laughs) Dude, you have a guy that... Here it is. Can you give me some volume? I wanna hear the volume.

Narrator 36:40 Oh, shit.

36:43 (laughs)

36:46 Go away. Go away.

Joe Rogan 36:49 And it's just walking towards him.

Narrator 36:51 You're good. You're a good little kitty cat.

36:55 (laughs)

36:55 Oh. Holy... What's up, dude?

Joe Rogan 36:58 That thing's way too close right there.

Colion Noir 37:00 Yeah. I, I, I think you're right, though. I think it was a female.

Narrator 37:03 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 37:03 Oh, it's 100% a female.

Colion Noir 37:04 Yeah, that it was.

Joe Rogan 37:04 Because at the beginning of the video, the cubs-

Narrator 37:06 Now I just want... Come on. (screams)

37:07 (breathing heavily)

Joe Rogan 37:12 That thing is so not worried about him, but it's-

Narrator 37:14 (screams)

Joe Rogan 37:14 ... it's moving so slow.

Colion Noir 37:15 Yeah.

Narrator 37:17 No. No. I'm being scary.

37:20 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 37:21 (laughs)

Narrator 37:21 I'm being-

Joe Rogan 37:23 It's too close. It's already too close.

Colion Noir 37:25 Yeah. You can, you can tell he's paralyzed by fear because of the, what he's saying.

Joe Rogan 37:28 Yeah.

Colion Noir 37:28 Initially, it's funny, but I can tell that was pure fear.

Joe Rogan 37:29 Oh, back up, back up. See, here it is.

Narrator 37:31 Yeah.

Colion Noir 37:31 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 37:31 That's it.

Narrator 37:32 No, go away. Go away.

37:36 (growls)

37:36 Nope.

37:38 (growls)

Joe Rogan 37:39 That shit is so scary.

Narrator 37:40 No. Fuck you, dude.

37:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:46 (laughs)

Colion Noir 37:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:47 "Fuck you, dude." What is that thing running with the, the arms out of the sides like this?

Colion Noir 37:53 Yeah, dude. Dude, it's nuts.

Joe Rogan 37:53 I didn't know they did that.

Colion Noir 37:54 Me neither.

Joe Rogan 37:54 But I think that's just a fe- that's a scare posture.

Colion Noir 37:57 But, uh, and see, now that you say that, and looking at it-

Joe Rogan 37:59 Yeah.

Colion Noir 37:59 ... that's what I think it was. I think-

Joe Rogan 38:00 Yeah.

Colion Noir 38:00 ... she really was trying to scare him away.

Joe Rogan 38:02 Yeah, she has cubs.

Colion Noir 38:03 Um, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:03 She didn't want them eating her babies.

Colion Noir 38:04 Which is understandable.

Joe Rogan 38:05 Yeah.

Colion Noir 38:06 It's understandable. I mean, that's what happens when you have the cross dynamic of humans and animals living together, man.

Joe Rogan 38:09 Yeah, because... And a bear, if a bear was there and she was doing that, the bear would eat her cubs.

Colion Noir 38:14 Pretty much.

Joe Rogan 38:14 They eat cubs. They've m- they've... Bear cubs.

Narrator 38:17 You saw this, right?

Joe Rogan 38:18 What is that?

Narrator 38:18 This bear got really close to this group of skiers.

Joe Rogan 38:21 Oh, no.

Narrator 38:21 You didn't see this?

Joe Rogan 38:22 Where is this?

Narrator 38:23 Not in America, but-

38:24 This bear was aw-

38:25 It started chasing them-

Joe Rogan 38:26 Oh, bro.

Narrator 38:27 ... down the ski hill, and it's going fast.

Colion Noir 38:29 No, bears are fast.

Joe Rogan 38:30 Bro, that is terrifying.

Narrator 38:32 Like, very fast. And it, it's all the way down the hill. It gets far away, and then it catches back up because he can't go fast enough. It gets so close, though.

Colion Noir 38:38 Oh.

Joe Rogan 38:39 Oh my God, that's so dangerous.

Colion Noir 38:41 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 38:41 That's a brown bear, too. Those are the worst. Look at all the skiers hanging around this bear's route.

Colion Noir 38:45 Yeah. But look how fast it is.

Joe Rogan 38:48 That's a small bear.

Colion Noir 38:48 I know. And I was just gonna say that, too.

Narrator 38:49 It... It seems like a little baby. It's just checking them out, but still, scary as fuck.

Joe Rogan 38:53 Whatever, that'll kill you.

Narrator 38:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:54 That baby's practicing on people.

Narrator 38:56 It's, ugh.

Joe Rogan 38:58 I told you the one time I saw a grizzly, it was about, it was only like six foot. It wasn't a big bear.

Colion Noir 39:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:03 It scared the shit out of me, though. It's the so-... I've seen a lot of black bears. I wanna see one grizzly.

Colion Noir 39:07 Sorry, you just had a six-foot grizzly, not a...

Joe Rogan 39:09 They're not big. A b- a big grizzly's 12 feet.

Colion Noir 39:12 That's, that's, that's big to me.

Narrator 39:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:13 It's big, but it was, uh, for a grizzly, it was-

Colion Noir 39:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:17 ... a young grizzly.

Colion Noir 39:18 Okay.

Joe Rogan 39:18 But, dude, the look in that thing's eyes was so different than anything I've ever looked at before.

Colion Noir 39:22 Primal. Nice.

Joe Rogan 39:23 It's, it's, it's, uh, it was trying to figure out if it's gonna eat me.

Colion Noir 39:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:28 It's, it's so different than... Like, a black bear looks at you and they're like, "Oh, what are you doing here?"

Colion Noir 39:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:33 "Why are you here?"

Colion Noir 39:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:35 And they're, they're looking at you like, "I gotta get the fuck out of here."

Colion Noir 39:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:36 'Cause they think of people as something that hunts them, 'cause this is in Alberta.

Colion Noir 39:39 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 39:40 And in Alberta, you can hunt black bear. You can't hunt grizzly bear.

Colion Noir 39:43 Okay.

Joe Rogan 39:44 And it's not wise 'cause there's a lot of them. And they've, they've overcome a lot of these areas that were traditional black bear areas. Now grizzlies are taking over. And we were out in the woods, and I saw this grizzly bear just looking at me like this.

Colion Noir 39:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:59 Like looking you right in the eyes. It's a different look, and you're like, "Oh, fuck all this."

Colion Noir 40:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:04 I remember thinking, "Imagine if this was like, a big one, like a 11-footer or something like that."

Narrator 40:08 Yeah. Oh.

Joe Rogan 40:08 We got the fuck out of Dodge.

Narrator 40:09 Dude.

Colion Noir 40:10 And look how... Did you see how fast that thing was? (sighs)

Joe Rogan 40:12 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 40:13 Like, I think we undervalue-

Narrator 40:14 Yeah.

Colion Noir 40:14 ... how fast these animals are.

Joe Rogan 40:15 Oh, dude. Yeah.

Colion Noir 40:16 'Cause I literally, at one point used to think that I could outrun him. I'll just, like, you know, I'll just run.

Narrator 40:20 (laughs)

Colion Noir 40:20 Just run. I'm pretty fast.

Joe Rogan 40:22 That's hilarious.

Colion Noir 40:22 Yeah. No, that's not gonna happen.

Joe Rogan 40:24 Yeah, they run all day.

Colion Noir 40:25 Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Joe Rogan 40:26 That's what they do, and their, their fucking arms-

Colion Noir 40:28 And they cover ground. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:29 ... are giant, man. Their shoulders and arms are...

Colion Noir 40:32 Honestly, after, after what I experienced with that buffalo hunt, you know, my, my, my respect level for these animals just tenfold-

Joe Rogan 40:39 Yeah.

Colion Noir 40:40 ... in terms of what they can do. And I did see some people make comments about... And I could... Look, I could be wrong about what I'm about to say here, but this is the way I see it.

Narrator 40:46 Okay.

Colion Noir 40:46 Somebody was like, "Oh, you know, you, you... It's not really hunting. You went out there with a gun and you shot a buffalo." Ha. So it's like-

Joe Rogan 40:52 Yeah, but they say that about me when I hunt with a bow and arrow. "You were a fucking go-getter with a knife 'cause you're tough." No.

Colion Noir 40:57 And like... And but see, somebody did say that, and I was like, "What do you want me to do? You want me to run up there with a machete?" I can't catch him. He's faster than me. There's no way for me to do it. And-

Joe Rogan 41:05 Not only that, even if you did catch him, the machete wouldn't kill him.

Colion Noir 41:08 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 41:08 And even if the thing didn't fight back, you know how long it would take to kill a buffalo with a machete?

Colion Noir 41:12 I shot mine three times.

Joe Rogan 41:15 Yeah. With what round?

Colion Noir 41:16 The 28 Nosler. And that thing... And I mean, it dropped. It just kept getting up. So I'm like, I'm like, "What do you, what do you want me to do?" And the thing is, I, when I made the lion analogy, some people were like, "Well, you know, uh, why don't you..." Like, a lion actually has to hunt its kill. I'm like, "A lion's also 500 thou- 500 pounds, can outrun me times three, and also has claws the size of my fucking head." Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:38 You can't listen to those people. They're not making any sense.

Colion Noir 41:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:41 They never make any sense.

Colion Noir 41:43 They really don't.

Joe Rogan 41:43 It's either they don't want anybody to ever kill animals or they just wanna yell at you. It's, those are the two reasons why they're doing that.

Colion Noir 41:49 This is true. This is true.

Joe Rogan 41:50 Yeah. If you're gonna eat meat, you're gonna get peop-... You... If you just post a steak, there's gonna be a certain amount of people that go vegan to get mad at you.

Colion Noir 41:58 I ate the heart in the video.

Joe Rogan 41:59 Good for you.

Colion Noir 41:59 Yeah, it was pretty good.

Narrator 42:00 It's good. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:00 It's delicious, right? Did you eat the liver?

Colion Noir 42:02 Nope.

Joe Rogan 42:02 The liver's really good.

Colion Noir 42:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:03 It's really good for you, too.

Colion Noir 42:05 I didn't eat the liver not because I didn't want to, just 'cause we just didn't have the liver yet.

Joe Rogan 42:09 The Comanches used to take the liver and slice it and eat it raw, and they would, uh, season it with bile juice. They would take the, uh, the gallbladder-

Colion Noir 42:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:17 ... juice and they would squirt it on the liver and eat it that way. 'Cause I guess it was kind of salty.

Colion Noir 42:22 Oh.

Joe Rogan 42:22 I've never tried it. I never... I've eaten raw liver before.

Colion Noir 42:26 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 42:26 Which is not the best way to eat liver.

Colion Noir 42:28 I can imagine.

Joe Rogan 42:29 Yeah. Liver is better when it's cooked.

Colion Noir 42:30 Yeah. I mean, my heart was cooked.

Joe Rogan 42:32 C- cooked heart is very good.

Colion Noir 42:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:34 And, and heart is so chewy.

Colion Noir 42:36 It wasn't that bad.... I thought it was gonna be worse.

Joe Rogan 42:39 Oh, did you?

Colion Noir 42:39 Yeah, I really did. But I mean, even, when I say worse, like, even when I ate it, it wasn't bad at all. Like, it was good.

Joe Rogan 42:45 It's so-

Colion Noir 42:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:45 ... good for you.

Colion Noir 42:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:46 It's so rich in nutrients.

Colion Noir 42:47 I mean, it's ... Like I said, I love bison meat. Like, I was-

Joe Rogan 42:50 Did you take any of the meat home?

Colion Noir 42:52 No, there's-

Joe Rogan 42:52 Did you cut any of it out or did you get it all sh-

Colion Noir 42:53 I'm, I'm ... I got it there.

Joe Rogan 42:55 ... brought to a-

Colion Noir 42:55 They're go- they're, they're gonna be shipping all of that over to me.

Joe Rogan 42:57 You're gonna have hundreds of pounds of meat.

Colion Noir 42:59 Okay.

Joe Rogan 42:59 Do you have a big enough freezer?

Colion Noir 43:00 No. That's why I'm gonna be giving some-

Joe Rogan 43:02 Oh.

Colion Noir 43:02 ... to my friends. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:03 Yeah. You're gonna need, like ... I'll show you out there. We have two-

Colion Noir 43:05 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 43:05 ... commercial freezers that I keep, uh, elk in.

Colion Noir 43:08 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 43:08 Yeah, and it's, it's ama- amazing how much meat you get.

Colion Noir 43:12 Yeah. I'm gonna have to definitely, um ... Like, it, it ... The funny thing is, they're not even sending it to me. They're sending it to a friend of mine who has a freezer for it.

Joe Rogan 43:19 Oh, okay.

Colion Noir 43:20 And then from there, I'm gonna order a freezer, then put-

Joe Rogan 43:22 Yeah.

Colion Noir 43:22 ... my portion of it, then give him some, give my mom some.

Joe Rogan 43:25 Well, we'll have-

Colion Noir 43:25 I told my mom about this and she was like, "You did what?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:28 (laughs) Your mom didn't know you were going hunting?

Colion Noir 43:29 Yeah. She didn't. She's just like-

Joe Rogan 43:31 How did she feel?

Colion Noir 43:31 'Cause I d- I didn't even warn her. I had just sent her the picture afterwards.

Joe Rogan 43:33 Yeah.

Colion Noir 43:33 And so she calls. She's like, "You did that?" And I was like, "Yeah, Mom." She's like, "You hunted a buffalo?" I was like, "Yeah." She was like, "How was it?" I was like, "It was, it was good. It was fun. It was, you know, it was an experience." And she was like, she was like, "Huh. Okay." (laughs) And so sh-

Joe Rogan 43:49 So she just accepted it?

Colion Noir 43:50 Yeah. She d- I mean, sh- I mean, my mom eats meat.

Joe Rogan 43:52 Yeah.

Colion Noir 43:53 Like, I mean, she didn't feel any way about it.

Joe Rogan 43:54 For people who don't hunt, it is a weird thing to say-

Colion Noir 43:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:57 ... that you're gonna go hunting. It's like you're, you're, you're, like, one step closer to a primal person.

Colion Noir 44:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:04 You know? You're, you're going-

Colion Noir 44:04 But I mean, it's-

Joe Rogan 44:05 ... primal.

Colion Noir 44:06 I mean, and the ... Her shock was more so 'cause she knows I'm a city rat. She knows me.

Joe Rogan 44:09 Right.

Colion Noir 44:09 She knows I order my food 90% of the time, that she's like-

Joe Rogan 44:12 Yeah.

Colion Noir 44:12 ... "You went hunting?" I was like, "Yeah." But see, the p- the funny thing is, it's like, that is the experience, like, a lot of this stuff I'm experiencing, the catalyst for it was a gun.

Joe Rogan 44:21 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 44:22 Right? And so a lot of the things I end up doing, I probably wouldn't have done but for me getting into firearms the way that I did. And so it, it, it allowed me to kind of branch out into so many aspects of life that I otherwise wouldn't have. And so I gotta give props to that.

Joe Rogan 44:34 Well, you have a big advantage in you have extreme proficiency with a firearm.

Colion Noir 44:38 True.

Joe Rogan 44:38 You know, if you wanna start hunting, that's a giant advantage over most people because-

Colion Noir 44:42 Yes.

Joe Rogan 44:43 ... you're obviously very good with guns.

Colion Noir 44:45 Well, I will say this, like, I think the reason why I didn't get buck fever as I was on the gun is, everything became more extinctual, instinctive.

Joe Rogan 44:54 Right. Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 44:54 Like, it just ... For me, when I'm not thinking, I'm a better shooter. And so because of, uh, uh, the s- uh, the sensorially,

Colion Noir 45:00 everything was so overwhelming, right? Um, the smell, the sounds, the ... Seeing the live animal in my optic, I think everything just went whoom, and I'm already a scatterbrain. So anything that can force me to hyperfocus is, is ideal.

Joe Rogan 45:14 Yeah. I'm not s- ... You're also very smart, and a smart person understands what's happening-

Colion Noir 45:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:18 ... when nerves start taking over, if you're aware of how your body works.

Colion Noir 45:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:23 And when you, when you're not aware and then you just let it overrun you-

Colion Noir 45:25 Yeah, and then you're like-

Joe Rogan 45:26 ... and you go into full panic mode-

Colion Noir 45:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:28 Yeah, your, your body is ... You know, the human body and adrenaline, it's, it's a weird little mixture of stuff, because-

Colion Noir 45:35 Very weird.

Joe Rogan 45:35 ... you would think that that adrenaline's supposed to benefit you.

Colion Noir 45:39 (laughs) I think it can if you know how to use it.

Joe Rogan 45:40 Yeah-

Colion Noir 45:41 Right?

Joe Rogan 45:41 ... but it's, it's all ... It's a wild animal.

Colion Noir 45:43 Yeah. 'Cause I've, I've had panic attacks. I've suffered from panic attacks before. And-

Joe Rogan 45:47 When was the last time you had one?

Colion Noir 45:49 Oh, it's been years.

Joe Rogan 45:50 What do you get them for?

Colion Noir 45:51 Years. Um, you know, sometimes they ... Some of the ones ... Well, you know what? I say they came out of nowhere. But because of the way my mind works and some of the things that I think about it that are just used to routinely, like, s- that it can be caused, it could have been caused by that. But, um, I will say, like, for instance, like, I had, like, uh, one of my major panic attacks I had, I, I actually was smoking.

Joe Rogan 46:12 Weed?

Colion Noir 46:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:13 Oh, but that's normal.

Colion Noir 46:14 Yeah. No, I know. Well, now I know that. I didn't know that at the time.

Joe Rogan 46:16 Th- those are standard panic attacks.

Colion Noir 46:17 I was like ... Yeah, you ... I was like, and the funny thing is everybody has the same response when I tell them that shit. They're like, "Oh, you were just smoking the wrong shit." And I was like, uh-

Joe Rogan 46:24 It's not probably the right shit.

Colion Noir 46:25 Yeah, not saying shit I don't want.

Joe Rogan 46:27 If you smoke too much of it.

Colion Noir 46:27 I don't ... I fight the high.

Joe Rogan 46:29 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 46:29 That's the problem. I'm a control freak in that way.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Of course, yeah.

Colion Noir 46:32 Yeah. So for me, I don't, I can't ... I don't like the feeling of being high.

Joe Rogan 46:37 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 46:37 It, it, it, it-

Joe Rogan 46:37 I get it.

Colion Noir 46:38 Yeah, I don't like it. So I think that's what caused me to kinda go, like, "I'm overrea- like, I need to gain control"-

Joe Rogan 46:43 Yeah.

Colion Noir 46:43 ... "of what's going on right now." Uh-

Joe Rogan 46:45 That's my favorite part of weed, the panic.

Colion Noir 46:47 See, I remember you told me that, though, right?

Joe Rogan 46:48 I like it.

Colion Noir 46:49 Like, "Joe's crazy." (laughs) I just-

Joe Rogan 46:52 I just like ... I like that. I just like, "Wah."

Colion Noir 46:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:57 I know, but I think it's because at, at ... when I first started getting high, it used to freak me out.

Colion Noir 47:01 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 47:01 And then I realized eventually that there's great benefit in those moments, because any weird thing that I'm trying to avoid in my head-

Colion Noir 47:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:09 ... it gets brought up to the surface.

Colion Noir 47:11 Oh, to the surface. Yeah. That is true.

Joe Rogan 47:11 Like, you can't avoid anything. Pot is a, it's like a bright light that gets shined-

Colion Noir 47:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:15 ... on the things you're avoiding, you know? So it ma- it keeps me honest. It keeps me in check.

Colion Noir 47:20 I can ... You know what? I can, I can ... I'm still not smoking, but yeah, I can definitely see.

Joe Rogan 47:24 (laughs)

Colion Noir 47:24 I can definitely agree with you on that. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:26 It makes me nicer.

Colion Noir 47:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:27 It really does.

Colion Noir 47:28 But I mean, for me, once I understood what was going on biologically, you know, then I was, then I was able to kind of und- ... To be honest, what would end up happening is, 'cause I didn't get them frequently, but when they would come, they would be terrifying.

Joe Rogan 47:41 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 47:41 And then at, at, at a certain point, I almost wanted them to come, because the calm after the storm.

Joe Rogan 47:46 Right, right, right. Yeah.

Colion Noir 47:47 It's like, "Yeah." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:49 That's what I'm talking about with weed too, that feel-

Colion Noir 47:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:51 There's a great feeling after-

Colion Noir 47:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:53 ... you get too high.

Colion Noir 47:54 Yeah, that is true. 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 47:55 Because it's great.

Colion Noir 47:55 'Cause, I mean, it's adrenaline. It comes back down no matter what.

Joe Rogan 47:57 Yes. Yeah.

Colion Noir 47:58 Um, so, yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:59 Yeah.

Colion Noir 48:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:01 Yeah, it's a ... The, the weird spike of adrenaline when you're in a primal situation like hunting-

Colion Noir 48:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:06 ... I guess is supposed to be because you're in this sort of life or death situation and your body probably thinks you're gonna go into battle.

Colion Noir 48:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:14 But really, you're just staying calm and slowly squeezing off a round.

Colion Noir 48:19 So yo- I didn't get the, the heightened sense of adrenaline until after the fact. 'Cause I-

Joe Rogan 48:23 And then you're pumble, bumble, bumbling.

Colion Noir 48:24 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 48:25 Then you're like, "Holy shit."

Colion Noir 48:25 'Cause I, 'cause now, I've, I was brought back. I'm, I'm focused on it, right?

Joe Rogan 48:29 Yeah.

Colion Noir 48:30 So, like ... And so from that perspective-Um, I will say what did happen too was that it made me, in a- for a short period of time, kind of overanalyze my sense of mora- my, uh, not morality, my mortality.

Joe Rogan 48:43 Mm. Yeah.

Colion Noir 48:43 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 48:44 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Colion Noir 48:45 Um, because I'm like, this, this buffalo woke up that morning, didn't know that Colin on the wire was gonna come and hunt him and, and shoot him.

Joe Rogan 48:51 Yeah.

Colion Noir 48:51 You know, so that, and I think to me, that's just my over-analytical aspect of my brain. Uh-

Joe Rogan 48:56 Well, it's a, it's a wise perspective because there, you know, there is something to that.

Colion Noir 49:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:01 That is, that's life and death of being a buffalo.

Colion Noir 49:04 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:05 Or a human being.

Colion Noir 49:05 Human, yeah, 'cause that's really-

Joe Rogan 49:06 Yeah.

Colion Noir 49:06 ... what it did for me. I was like-

Joe Rogan 49:08 Yeah.

Colion Noir 49:08 ... what, what makes me so different?

Joe Rogan 49:10 What does make you so different?

Colion Noir 49:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:12 Yeah. Well-

Colion Noir 49:12 Wow.

Joe Rogan 49:12 ... the only thing that makes us different is the fact that we have houses and cars-

Colion Noir 49:15 (laughs) That's true.

Joe Rogan 49:15 ... and bullets and guns.

Colion Noir 49:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:16 And the fact that, you know, we're not out there getting eaten by-

Colion Noir 49:19 Eaten, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:20 ... fucking mountain lions and shit.

Colion Noir 49:20 Or getting attacked by homeboys when somebody else is trying to hunt us.

Joe Rogan 49:23 Yes.

Colion Noir 49:24 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 49:24 There's a video, there's a, a great documentary called, uh, Relentless Enemies.

Colion Noir 49:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:29 And, uh, it's all about lions and buffalo, and, uh, these lions in Africa, there's this one area where the river changed courses. It changed course and it stranded all these cats on this one island.

Colion Noir 49:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:44 And it stranded them with nothing to eat but water buffalo. So these cats got huge. It's a crazy documentary because the female lions in this one area-

Colion Noir 49:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:56 ... are as big as male lions anywhere else. They're fucking enormous and they look like cartoon lions. Like, they have, they're jacked.

Colion Noir 50:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:04 Like, super jacked because all they're doing is eating water buffalo.

Colion Noir 50:07 Oh.

Joe Rogan 50:08 And because the females are the ones that hunt.

Colion Noir 50:10 Hunt, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:10 So these females got way bigger and way stronger 'cause those are the only ones that survived. And in this video, these female lions attack this water buffalo and they get it down and then they're, uh, they're, they're trying to fight this water buffalo and the other buffalos come along. And then at this one moment where it looks like the buffalo is gonna get away, another buffalo runs up and gores him and knocks him over, and then the lions get him. So right when it looks like this buffalo is gonna survive, this other bitch-ass buffalo-

Colion Noir 50:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:43 ... comes over and just jacks, one of his homies just jacks him from the side and knocks him over. That's-

Colion Noir 50:49 Too good.

Joe Rogan 50:49 ... that's just a part of their nature, man.

Colion Noir 50:51 Yeah, it really is.

Joe Rogan 50:52 It's built in and-

Colion Noir 50:52 Every-

Joe Rogan 50:52 ... bullying like that is built in nature.

Colion Noir 50:54 Every-

Joe Rogan 50:54 Turning on, on, on, the weak is built into nature.

Colion Noir 50:58 They're visceral, man. Talk about Machiavellian.

Joe Rogan 51:00 It's horrible. Yeah, it's horrible. It's a horrible system. It's a horrible system that's designed to make sure that only the very strong survive.

Colion Noir 51:07 That's what I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 51:07 That's it. Even though there's like, there's no morals or ethics in the buffalo community.

Colion Noir 51:11 Nothing at all.

Joe Rogan 51:13 Nothing, none, zero.

Colion Noir 51:13 Like, it just is what it is.

Joe Rogan 51:14 There's no us versus them.

Colion Noir 51:15 Yeah, no.

Joe Rogan 51:16 There is with elephants, though. Elephants, like, save other elephants. The, the-

Colion Noir 51:21 You know, I think I saw that in s- uh, like, a couple of documentaries I watched again on my nights-

Joe Rogan 51:24 Yeah.

Colion Noir 51:24 ... watching Netflix drunk. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:26 That's why people are, like, really attached to elephants. We get real attached to things that are a little smarter. You know, when you find out that, like, elephants, like-

Colion Noir 51:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:33 ... when an elephant gets separated from its young or from a family member and they get reunited years later, they remember each other and they run up to each other and they, they wrap their, their, um, their, their nose or s- their trunk around each other and they rub each other. And-

Colion Noir 51:48 Do you think-

Joe Rogan 51:48 ... yeah.

Colion Noir 51:49 ... it's the fact that they're that smart or we just have a lowered expectation of them as animals?

Joe Rogan 51:54 They're smart.

Colion Noir 51:54 And so when we see, no, that's what I'm saying-

Joe Rogan 51:57 They can paint. They-

Colion Noir 51:57 No, that's what I'm getting at. Like, do you think, like, the reason why we're so fascinated, why we're so attached to elephants is that we have a lowered expectation of their intelligence and when they demonstrate something that seems remotely intelligent-

Joe Rogan 52:07 Yeah.

Colion Noir 52:07 ... we're, like, surprised, like, "Oh my gosh"?

Joe Rogan 52:09 Well, we just assume that anything that can't drive a car or send an email is an idiot.

Colion Noir 52:15 True. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:15 You know, we kind of know that dolphins are smart now, but it still doesn't stop SeaWorld from keeping them-

Colion Noir 52:19 Dolphins are-

Joe Rogan 52:19 ... locked up in cages.

Colion Noir 52:20 Dolphins are fucking assholes.

Joe Rogan 52:21 Are they?

Colion Noir 52:22 What?

Joe Rogan 52:23 Assholes?

Colion Noir 52:23 Dolphins are a- uh, they're the frat boys of the sea.

Joe Rogan 52:26 Well, there's definitely a lot of ruthless shit that goes on in the dolphin world. They, they-

Colion Noir 52:30 Yeah, they rape other female dolphins. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:32 They def- they, they also, uh, they commit infanticide.

Colion Noir 52:35 Yeah, that too.

Joe Rogan 52:35 On a regular basis, they kill.

Colion Noir 52:36 And kill for fun.

Joe Rogan 52:38 Yeah, they kill, uh, baby dolphins. They, if a female is, see, a female has a baby dolphin, apparently the female won't breed for like seven years.

Colion Noir 52:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:46 She'll just take care of those dolphins.

Colion Noir 52:47 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 52:47 So what females wind up doing is being sluts. They fuck as many male dolphins as they can-

Colion Noir 52:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:53 ... so that when she has a baby, the male is like, "Oh, I fucked her. That might be my kid."

Colion Noir 52:57 That might be my kid. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:57 So they don't kill the baby because otherwise if a male comes up on a female that he hasn't had sex with and he sees her with babies, he'll just kill the baby-

Colion Noir 53:05 He'll kill the-

Joe Rogan 53:05 ... so that he can fuck her.

Colion Noir 53:06 He'll take care... Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 53:07 Yeah, that's, uh, that's common in the bear world. That's common in a lot of animal worlds. They'll, they'll kill cubs in order to force the female into estrus.

Colion Noir 53:16 Just dark, again.

Joe Rogan 53:17 N- nature's dark.

Colion Noir 53:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:18 It's evil.

Colion Noir 53:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:19 It's like, it's the only way that things survive. Like, and to be strong, that you can't have any compassion or empathy in nature.

Colion Noir 53:25 And then you look at us.

Joe Rogan 53:27 Yeah.

Colion Noir 53:28 (laughs) And then I go...

Joe Rogan 53:29 We're getting weak.

Colion Noir 53:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:30 But, you know what? It's also, that's-

Colion Noir 53:31 I'm worried about comments on Instagram.

Joe Rogan 53:33 Ah.

Colion Noir 53:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:35 Exactly. But that's what leads to innovation though.

Colion Noir 53:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:38 Innovation is created in a safety vacuum, right? You have to have people where they're safe-

Colion Noir 53:44 That's true.

Joe Rogan 53:44 ... and they don't have to worry about primal shit and then they start thinking about, like, you know-

Colion Noir 53:48 I think Aristotle spoke to something like this too.

Joe Rogan 53:50 ... equations. Yeah.

Colion Noir 53:50 You know, like, uh, being, having, having essentially the money gives you the time to be innovative.

Joe Rogan 53:58 Yeah.

Colion Noir 53:58 You know? Because you're not, not as worried if you're starving-

Joe Rogan 53:59 Not having to worry about starving to death.

Colion Noir 54:00 Exactly, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:01 Not having to worry about being killed gives you time to think about things, and that's how we improve.

Colion Noir 54:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:06 But in improving society, we also make a lot of really soft people that reap the benefits of that without having any discipline. And those are the ones that comment on social media.

Colion Noir 54:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:15 That's, that's the kind of people that you're getting. You're getting these people that think that their comments and their, their points are so important-

Colion Noir 54:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:22 ... and shutting down others and yelling at others-

Colion Noir 54:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:25 ... are s- it's so important. They're just soft people.

Colion Noir 54:28 It, it, it boggles my mind.

Joe Rogan 54:32 Yeah.

Colion Noir 54:32 It really does. I guess I see, like, I see certain comments, I'm like, "You really wrote this?"

Joe Rogan 54:36 Well, it might be like a 15-year-old kid. And I would've written that too when I was 15.

Colion Noir 54:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:40 I was a fucking moron.

Colion Noir 54:41 I do forget sometimes that there are, like-

Joe Rogan 54:43 A lot.

Colion Noir 54:43 ... really young people on social media.

Joe Rogan 54:46 Bro, all these kids-

Colion Noir 54:47 Really young.

Joe Rogan 54:47 ... have phones.

Colion Noir 54:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:47 Every kid has a phone now. I mean-

Colion Noir 54:49 It's, it's not-

Joe Rogan 54:50 ... they're so common.

Colion Noir 54:50 Yeah. 'Cause I, I, I can think to a time where I never had a phone.

Joe Rogan 54:53 Yes.

Colion Noir 54:53 Like-

Joe Rogan 54:54 Yes.

Colion Noir 54:54 ... I never had a phone.

Joe Rogan 54:55 Yeah.

Colion Noir 54:55 It was just like-

Joe Rogan 54:56 I didn't have a phone until I was in my 20s.

Colion Noir 54:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:58 You know?

Colion Noir 54:59 I don't even know how I got around without GPS.

Joe Rogan 55:01 Right.

Colion Noir 55:02 Like, I'm like, w- how did I know where things were? And I think it's just, my mind is just kind of chunked out all the f-

Joe Rogan 55:08 When I used to do gigs back in the day, I would get, uh, a phone call. I would have to call, like, uh, a, like, Mike Clark-

Colion Noir 55:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:15 ... who was a booking agent. And he would give me directions over the phone and I would write them down. Like, "495 North, it's this over to 101."

Colion Noir 55:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:23 And you would... That's how-

Colion Noir 55:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:24 ... you would get places.

Colion Noir 55:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:25 I'd have a piece of paper and then I'd be like, "All right, five miles, here it is," and then you take the exit, go two miles, and I'd have to look at my little thing. It says, "Go two miles. Okay, take a right here. There's the street." Like, today, that, nobody fucking does that anymore.

Colion Noir 55:39 Dude, (laughs) you, you had to do all that. My ass still gets mad at my navigation when it doesn't tell me exactly, specifically which exit to take.

Joe Rogan 55:49 Yeah.

Colion Noir 55:50 Right? Like-

Joe Rogan 55:50 Right. Exactly.

Colion Noir 55:50 And I'm just like... I'm like, "Is it this one? Is it s- is it..." And I still get lost.

Joe Rogan 55:53 Well, especially in Texas. Dude, the highway system out here is ridonkulous.

Colion Noir 55:57 I- Austin.

Joe Rogan 55:58 (laughs) It's the worst.

Colion Noir 55:59 In Austin, it's terrible.

Joe Rogan 56:00 Is it better in Dallas?

Colion Noir 56:01 It's better in Dallas, but Aust- because Austin is that bad.

Joe Rogan 56:05 Why is it so bad here?

Colion Noir 56:06 I don't... I've heard stories about why it's bad. I don't know if-

Joe Rogan 56:09 To try to keep people from moving here?

Colion Noir 56:10 I, I... No. Uh, no.

Joe Rogan 56:11 (laughs)

Colion Noir 56:11 Re- revolving around the guy who designed them. Personally, I think-

Joe Rogan 56:14 Oh.

Colion Noir 56:14 ... I think the guy that designed the freeway system here in Austin literally took an Etch A Sketch, gave it to his son, told him, "Draw some shit," and that's what he used as his base plan.

Joe Rogan 56:23 Yeah.

Colion Noir 56:23 'Cause this, the system here is s- is... I think it's the, the freeways here are designed to kill you.

Joe Rogan 56:27 You know what it seems like to me? It seems like, uh, like as if we, uh, still used Windows 95 and they just kept patching it.

Colion Noir 56:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:34 But it doesn't work for, like, modern graphics cards-

Colion Noir 56:37 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:37 ... and modern motherboards. It's all fucked up. It seems like a highway system was invented when this was a really low population. And then they just started adding-

Colion Noir 56:45 Adding. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:46 ... layers and roofs. And-

Colion Noir 56:47 But there was no really... There-

Joe Rogan 56:48 Yeah.

Colion Noir 56:48 It wasn't built with the understanding that this place was gonna expand.

Joe Rogan 56:51 Especially now the way-

Colion Noir 56:52 And get bigger.

Joe Rogan 56:52 ... it's expanding now.

Colion Noir 56:53 It's getting nuts, man.

Joe Rogan 56:54 I was reading something about some new highway system they're trying to tack on top of another one. Like, there's, there's... On one of the roads, they're gonna put a second layer on top of it.

Colion Noir 57:01 So it's gonna be, like, three layers?

Joe Rogan 57:02 Just like they're having a lot of... No.

Colion Noir 57:03 So it's... Wait.

Joe Rogan 57:03 A second one, a second layer, 'cause it's a flat road.

Colion Noir 57:05 Oh, so it's flat.

Joe Rogan 57:06 So they're gonna stack-

Colion Noir 57:07 And stack, stack. And then...

Joe Rogan 57:07 Yeah. They're gonna put one above it.

Colion Noir 57:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:09 Because they have to do that in some places.

Colion Noir 57:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:11 Where they realize, like, "Oh, there's too many cars."

Colion Noir 57:12 It's... Dallas is getting like that, though, too. Dallas is getting really, really, really congested as far as traffic. Traffic really wasn't a big deal in Dallas. Now, like, I'm starting to... It's starting to feel like being in LA almost.

Joe Rogan 57:23 How many people live in Dallas now?

Colion Noir 57:24 I don't know (sighs) .

Joe Rogan 57:25 Take a guess. Let's guess.

Colion Noir 57:27 I'm gonna be way off.

Joe Rogan 57:28 What are you thinking then?

Colion Noir 57:30 Too many.

Joe Rogan 57:31 (laughs)

Colion Noir 57:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:32 What's your number? What's your number?

Colion Noir 57:33 I d- I couldn't even give you a number. Let me see. I...

Joe Rogan 57:36 Seven million?

Colion Noir 57:38 I'd say... Now?

Joe Rogan 57:40 Yeah.

Colion Noir 57:40 I'd say about eight to nine.

Joe Rogan 57:42 Eight to nine.

Colion Noir 57:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:43 Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you. I was gonna go higher.

Colion Noir 57:46 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 57:46 But I think... I was gonna say 10.

Colion Noir 57:48 I was gonna say eight to nine.

Joe Rogan 57:48 But Jamie said, like... You, you were talking about, like, LA proper, the city was only 10 million, right?

Narrator 57:54 Yeah. It depends on what you're defining as... Because when you look it up, they use official definitions. Like, I think sometimes when you're looking up Los Angeles population, Burbank isn't counted 'cause it's a separate city.

Joe Rogan 58:04 Right.

Narrator 58:04 But it's within, it's within it.

Joe Rogan 58:06 It's all connected.

Narrator 58:07 So it's like it's all the same place.

Joe Rogan 58:07 Yeah. It's all the same place, for sure. All right, I'm saying, I'm saying seven.

Colion Noir 58:12 Seven.

Joe Rogan 58:13 Seven million.

Narrator 58:14 It says the Dallas metro population area, which includes Fort Worth, so, like, the whole area-

Colion Noir 58:19 Yeah, the whole...

Narrator 58:20 ... is 6.3-

Colion Noir 58:22 Oh, shit.

Narrator 58:22 But I see estimates of 7.5.

Joe Rogan 58:25 Hmm. That's a lot.

Narrator 58:28 Somewhere in there.

Joe Rogan 58:28 That's a lot. Is that the biggest city in Texas?

Colion Noir 58:30 In Texas?

Joe Rogan 58:31 Yeah.

Colion Noir 58:31 No, I think Houston is.

Narrator 58:32 Houston's bigger?

Colion Noir 58:33 Yeah.

Narrator 58:33 Houston's the fourth-

Joe Rogan 58:33 What does Houston got?

Narrator 58:34 ... in the country.

Joe Rogan 58:35 Oh, really?

Narrator 58:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:37 What's Houston got?

Narrator 58:38 It's probably closer to nine. Let's see.

Colion Noir 58:40 Yeah. I would give that to Houston.

Joe Rogan 58:42 Houston has some pretty ridiculous traffic too.

Narrator 58:43 Someone said-

Colion Noir 58:44 Yeah. Hous- but Houston's always had traffic back there.

Narrator 58:45 ... someone said it's a little bit more. Just a little-

Colion Noir 58:46 It's a...

Narrator 58:46 ... bit more. It's just around seven two now.

Colion Noir 58:48 Oh, really?

Narrator 58:48 They're very close.

Joe Rogan 58:49 So close.

Colion Noir 58:50 Houston just doesn't have enough freeways. That's the problem.

Joe Rogan 58:53 Well, they go underwater sometimes.

Colion Noir 58:55 I mean, this is true, but they always come back up.

Joe Rogan 58:57 (laughs)

Narrator 58:57 (laughs) They do.

Joe Rogan 58:58 I was... We were talking before about when I used to work at the Laugh Factory or the Laugh Stop in River Oaks. They, uh... The hotel we used to stay at-

Colion Noir 59:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:05 ... it doesn't exist anymore because it got flooded. It... The water went up to, like, the second floor.

Colion Noir 59:09 A- and funny, 'cause I'm, you know, born and raised in Houston, I mean, live in Dallas now, but, I mean, I pretty much grew up in Houston, and we just get used to it.

Joe Rogan 59:16 Yeah.

Colion Noir 59:16 It's crazy 'cause, like, literally, I remember there, there were times where you'd wake up, the entire city would be underwater. And then by noon, it, it looked like nothing happened.

Joe Rogan 59:27 It just drains away?

Colion Noir 59:28 It just... (blowing raspberry)

Joe Rogan 59:29 Well, where does it go?

Colion Noir 59:30 I don't know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:31 (laughs)

Narrator 59:31 (laughs)

Colion Noir 59:32 You know, it's like-

Joe Rogan 59:33 Does it go under the ground?

Colion Noir 59:34 I live, I live, I lived there close to 30 years and I never asked that question.

Joe Rogan 59:37 I think-

Colion Noir 59:37 I was like...

Joe Rogan 59:37 ... I read something about it after the last crazy flood, and they were describing how the hardscape, like all the streets and everything like that, it's not, it's not good for the drainage. Because-

Colion Noir 59:49 No, because it does... It's terrible. That's-

Joe Rogan 59:51 That's the problem.

Colion Noir 59:51 I mean, the reason why Houston floods is because the draining system is terrible.

Joe Rogan 59:54 Right.

Colion Noir 59:54 Right? It w- it... Yeah, sure, we're below sea level, et cetera, et cetera, but the draining

Colion Noir 1:00:00 system in Houston is just bad.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:00:02 And so it can't... So with the amount... So if we get a lot of rain in a short period of time, it'll flood. The draining system will inevitably work, but you're gonna have to wait.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 But they weren't just saying the draining system's bad. They were saying just the fact that there's so many roads and highways-

Colion Noir 1:00:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 ... 'cause the water doesn't go through in those areas.

Colion Noir 1:00:19 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 So the wa- like, the way that Houston used to be-

Colion Noir 1:00:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 ... before people came was the water would rise up through the rain, but it would go into the ground and-

Colion Noir 1:00:28 And then-

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 ... it wouldn't really flood.

Colion Noir 1:00:29 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 But because of all the highways and the roads and the streets and all the houses and all this-

Colion Noir 1:00:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 ... hard stuff-

Colion Noir 1:00:34 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 ... where the water can't get through-

Colion Noir 1:00:36 Can't get through.

Joe Rogan 1:00:36 ... the water doesn't get into the ground until it does, and then, you know, it stacks up for a while before it drains back down.

Colion Noir 1:00:43 (laughs) See, and, and the funny thing is being in Dallas, I don't...... I haven't experienced a flood since I've been in Dallas.

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 1:00:49 Um, but the one thing I had to readjust to was the cold and then the snow, well, the ice. That, that's different.

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Oh, yeah.

Colion Noir 1:00:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:00:59 Even though it's only four hours away, at least the way normal people drive. But (laughs) like, I, I remember my first winter in Dallas and I was like, "What the hell is this?" 'Cause in Houston we get the extremes of everything but we never really get the extremes of, like, snow or ice.

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 Did they get s- snow this last storm, though?

Colion Noir 1:01:18 Yeah, they did.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 They did, right? Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:01:20 That's why it was so crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:01:21 'Cause Dallas I could see, even though it was still crazy. I mean, I was out there driving around, you know. Um, 'cause I, I've spun out on ice before so I know how to drive around.

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 Do you know how to drive in snow?

Colion Noir 1:01:31 Now I do.

Joe Rogan 1:01:32 (laughs)

Colion Noir 1:01:33 I didn't. I... Like, like three, four years ago I didn't.

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 Did two months ago.

Colion Noir 1:01:35 Yeah. 'Cause I learned the hard way. I literally spun out. Like, I remember, um, I had to go to Oklahoma with a coworker and we were driving and so it was... There was this, uh, ice storm. You know, Oklahoma gets real winter.

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 Right, they get real winter.

Colion Noir 1:01:45 Right? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:01:46 And so we were like, "We can stay in this shitty hotel or we can just drive back to Dallas." And I was like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 How far is that drive?

Colion Noir 1:01:53 Uh, like three hours.

Joe Rogan 1:01:55 Normally.

Colion Noir 1:01:55 Normally. Took us 10. Because, because I'm like, "I don't want be there. I don't want to be in Oklahoma. Mu- much love to Oklahoma, but I'm not fucking staying in Oklahoma."

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 (laughs)

Colion Noir 1:02:04 So I was like, "Let's go."

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 Much love to Oklahoma but fuck you.

Colion Noir 1:02:08 (laughs) So I was like, "All right. Let's just, let's just drive," right? So me and my coworker we're driving back and, I remember the lady gave us, like, this warning. She was just like, she was like, "Be careful 'cause, you know, they shut down some of the highways so that means it's pretty bad." Like, "Oh, we're fine, we'll take the back roads."

Joe Rogan 1:02:25 That's even dumber.

Colion Noir 1:02:26 That's the worst thing you could do.

Joe Rogan 1:02:27 What kind of car are you driving?

Colion Noir 1:02:28 I was in a 2007 Range Rover.

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 Oh, Jesus.

Colion Noir 1:02:32 Yeah. And I... That's another thing, the false sense of security. I didn't know shit. I was like, "Oh, we... We'll be, we'll be fine. You know, we're good."

Joe Rogan 1:02:40 Range Rovers are pretty good in snow.

Colion Noir 1:02:42 Yeah, not with, for example-

Joe Rogan 1:02:43 But not with-

Colion Noir 1:02:43 ... street tires.

Joe Rogan 1:02:44 ... ice, yeah, not with street tires.

Colion Noir 1:02:45 Yeah, but I mean, but nothing saves you from ice though.

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 Nothing.

Colion Noir 1:02:47 Unless you have, you know, chains on your bikes-

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 Spikes.

Colion Noir 1:02:49 ... or something like that.

Joe Rogan 1:02:50 Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:02:50 So we took the back roads n- like you pointed out, dumbest idea you can do, because they don't sand them or anything or de-ice them or anything like that. So we're literally... We skated from Oklahoma to Dallas. We skated because literally we would... I would drive, like, maybe nine, 10 miles an hour and then I would... Like, if there was a car ahead of me I would have to gauge how m- how long it would take me to slow down because I'm gonna slide to a stop. So literally... And at some point you would think two smart individuals... And the guy, my, my coworker, he was even smarter, just exceptionally smart guy, would've thought, "Turn your ass around and go back to the hotel."

Joe Rogan 1:03:27 Yeah.

Colion Noir 1:03:27 No.

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 No?

Colion Noir 1:03:28 No.

Joe Rogan 1:03:29 Once you're like you're on-

Colion Noir 1:03:30 It's like, "We're on our way."

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 (laughs)

Colion Noir 1:03:32 So, (laughs) so we get to this back portion and there's, like, there's a- a bit of an embankment and I'm like, "All right, cool. All I'll do is I'll just drive real slow and get across there." I didn't think much of it. So I'm driving, I could feel the back kind of jiggle a little bit and I went, "Oh, okay, you know, just slow down a little bit more." Back jiggles a little bit, I'm like, "Oh, that's, that's not good." Back starts kind of doing this and then breaks.

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 Mm-hmm.

Colion Noir 1:03:55 And so now we're doing th- a, a 360