Joe Rogan Experience #1642 - Andrew Santino

Narrator 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (energetic music)

Andrew Santino 0:14 Big boss, huh?

Joe Rogan 0:15 Got one in the other room.

Andrew Santino 0:16 You like his man bun?

Joe Rogan 0:18 No. I've been trying to shave his head for-

Andrew Santino 0:20 (laughs) It's-

Joe Rogan 0:20 ... six months.

Narrator 0:20 I don't like it either.

Joe Rogan 0:22 (laughs) Why don't you get a pair of trimmers?

Andrew Santino 0:24 You look like one of the guys from Mortal Kombat, that movie I just fucking watched. You look like one of those, uh-

Joe Rogan 0:28 Just buzz that motherfucker and wear cool hats. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 0:31 What's the deal? Why are you growing it out so much?

Joe Rogan 0:33 (laughs) Roll the- roll the film on this.

Narrator 0:35 Yeah, we're going.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Roll it. Are we rolling?

Andrew Santino 0:36 Why? Why?

Narrator 0:36 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:37 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 0:37 When I walked in and I- I didn't even recognize him. I was like-

Narrator 0:39 Well-

Andrew Santino 0:40 ... "Who's the- who's that cutie? Who's that cute girl over there?"

Narrator 0:41 That's how I actually started working for Joe. I had hair this long. It was actually longer when I started working for him.

Joe Rogan 0:45 There's something about when it gets all gray, though, that you're supposed to cut it real short. You can't have gray long hair. Then you're, you know, you're either a drug dealer or you're running a cult.

Andrew Santino 0:53 You do look like you sell coke. Is there not a moment-

Narrator 0:55 Well, like Pat Riley, though.

Andrew Santino 0:55 Is there not a moment in the morning where you're embarrassed that you have to put a little, like, tie up?

Joe Rogan 0:59 You do. (laughs)

Narrator 0:59 Every time, every time.

Joe Rogan 1:00 Why don't you shave your head? Just get some trimmers that, like, give you a little buzz, a buzz cut.

Andrew Santino 1:04 I don't want to do it.

Joe Rogan 1:05 (laughs)

Narrator 1:06 Why- why not?

Joe Rogan 1:07 Because it's easy.

Narrator 1:07 I know.

Joe Rogan 1:08 That's the thing. It's like you do-

Narrator 1:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10 Like I- I shaved my head today. I just got the little trimmers.

Andrew Santino 1:12 Buzz it up.

Joe Rogan 1:13 Gave myself a buzz. It took about five minutes.

Narrator 1:15 I didn't.

Joe Rogan 1:16 I know you didn't. That's what I'm saying.

Narrator 1:18 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 1:18 (laughs)

Narrator 1:18 You had to put a rubber band on your head. That's preposterous.

Andrew Santino 1:20 All right, look, this is the last I'll say about it, and I'm being real.

Narrator 1:22 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:22 Okay.

Andrew Santino 1:23 I love you. I'm not making fun of you.

Joe Rogan 1:24 I love you too.

Andrew Santino 1:24 'Cause you know I love you.

Joe Rogan 1:25 I love you too.

Andrew Santino 1:25 But let me say this.

Narrator 1:26 What's up?

Andrew Santino 1:27 Do you do it 'cause you think-

Joe Rogan 1:28 (laughs)

Narrator 1:28 No, no, no. I just haven't been to a barber in a little while. I- I went to do it before the pandemic started.

Andrew Santino 1:34 Yeah.

Narrator 1:34 We went to Vegas and I planned on doing it in Vegas.

Joe Rogan 1:37 Right.

Narrator 1:37 I just didn't get a chance to go that day.

Andrew Santino 1:39 Right.

Narrator 1:40 And then we came back the next week and, like, there was no barbers available for-

Joe Rogan 1:43 What a boring-ass excuse.

Narrator 1:44 ... eight months.

Andrew Santino 1:44 Let's go out and get lit up tonight and let's shave your head.

Joe Rogan 1:46 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 1:46 Come on, dude.

Narrator 1:47 I thought about doing it the last couple days. I'm just- I haven't done it yet.

Andrew Santino 1:49 Let's do it here. I bet you they got a razor. Let's do it here, baby.

Narrator 1:51 Nah, they can't- yeah.

Andrew Santino 1:52 Let's make history right now.

Joe Rogan 1:53 Yeah, let's do some razor blades in there.

Narrator 1:55 Not that exciting.

Andrew Santino 1:55 Let's NFT your hair, Jamie. Let's- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:57 Okay, now we're talking.

Narrator 1:59 Oh.

Andrew Santino 1:59 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59 Let's, uh, carve some lightning bolts in there and shit.

Andrew Santino 2:02 Hell yeah, bro.

Narrator 2:03 I'm- I thought- I have a pretty cool mullet if I cut it right now too.

Joe Rogan 2:06 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 2:07 (laughs)

Narrator 2:07 But that's, uh, taken by some people.

Andrew Santino 2:09 Yeah, you don't want- you don't want to step on Theo's toes. "Hey, man, Jamie, I saw that mullet, man."

Joe Rogan 2:13 Well, he can't claim a mullet. He don't own a mullet.

Andrew Santino 2:15 See- see- Theo owns the mullet right now.

Joe Rogan 2:17 But he doesn't.

Andrew Santino 2:18 He's like the mullet king of the comedy world.

Joe Rogan 2:20 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 2:21 In our comedy world, who can com- who has a mullet that can compete? Foxworthy was the original.

Joe Rogan 2:26 Yeah, he had a mullet, right?

Andrew Santino 2:27 Yeah, Foxworthy was the original mullet god.

Joe Rogan 2:29 Who else has one?

Andrew Santino 2:31 Um...

Joe Rogan 2:32 Any lesbian ladies? As opposed to what? Lesbian men?

Andrew Santino 2:35 The old sch- the old- yeah, lesbian dudes.

Joe Rogan 2:36 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 2:37 There's a couple lesbian dude comics. What is the old- well, the old- who had- who had a mullet back in the day? I'm trying to think.

Narrator 2:41 Did Larry the Cable Guy have one?

Andrew Santino 2:42 No.

Joe Rogan 2:43 No, no. No, he always had a baseball hat on.

Andrew Santino 2:45 Yeah. No, Foxworthy was the original mullet king. And man, for some reason he pulled it off. He always- he still looked cool anyway. It didn't matter for some reason.

Joe Rogan 2:53 But he's got great jokes.

Andrew Santino 2:55 That's what it was. See? If the jokes-

Joe Rogan 2:56 Great jokes.

Andrew Santino 2:56 If the jokes are good, it doesn't- nobody cares about all the other stuff.

Joe Rogan 2:59 If your family tree does not fork-

Andrew Santino 3:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:03 ... you might be a redneck.

Andrew Santino 3:04 Yeah. "Stack a TV on a TV."

Joe Rogan 3:06 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 3:07 He was- he did. He was great, man. I mean, still is, but I don't know what he's doing.

Joe Rogan 3:10 Well, he- he had a- he had a shtick and he was a really good comic.

Andrew Santino 3:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:14 You know, like, he had a lot going on there. And it was also, like, it was- they figured something out with that Blue Collar Comedy Tour. There's, like, a whole untapped market.

Andrew Santino 3:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:22 You know?

Andrew Santino 3:23 Yeah, they- well, they had- he was kind of the- that was the first, like, clique of, uh-

Joe Rogan 3:26 What's it called?

Andrew Santino 3:27 Oh, Seinfeld mullet.

Narrator 3:28 Kind of a mullet.

Andrew Santino 3:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:29 Um, that's like an '80s cool guy look.

Andrew Santino 3:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 3:31 Yeah, they said it's a cross between a mullet ... oh, between his mullet and chunky sneakers.

Andrew Santino 3:37 Can we, can we, can I make fun of that? Can we talk about that?

Joe Rogan 3:39 What?

Andrew Santino 3:39 That he wear- that he wears like- he wears, like, a suit coat and jeans and then, like, the biggest Nikes. He wears, like, the Nike Shox all the time.

Joe Rogan 3:45 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 3:45 He loves those.

Joe Rogan 3:46 He loves those?

Andrew Santino 3:46 Get these guy- get this guy some Stan Smiths or something, man. It's so weird.

Joe Rogan 3:50 Oh, what's a Stan Smith?

Andrew Santino 3:51 Just the old school. These, like these. Just regular sneakers.

Joe Rogan 3:53 Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew Santino 3:54 Just like a- a dude ... I never understood that about Seinfeld, that he's- he's dressed up but he's dressed down. He wants to be like, "I'm business, but pla- but still playful."

Joe Rogan 4:00 Well, there's some guys who can pull off that shoe- the suit with the nice pair of sneakers look.

Andrew Santino 4:05 Yeah. But those are chunky. Show- pull up the- pull up the ones, you know, the Nike Shox. He wears those all the time.

Joe Rogan 4:09 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 4:09 They're just too big and it just looks like a- a white guy from- from Long Island who wants to ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:17 That is- there's a weird look, right? The- the suit-

Andrew Santino 4:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:20 ... with sneakers on.

Andrew Santino 4:21 I just- it's not my- I just- just put on- get him some nice dress shoes. Oh, or by the way, they make dress shoes that are sneakers now.

Joe Rogan 4:26 Right.

Andrew Santino 4:26 They're one- they're, like, transitional.

Joe Rogan 4:28 Yes.

Andrew Santino 4:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:29 You can get both ways.

Andrew Santino 4:30 Can I say that? Transitional shoe- they're trans shoes?

Joe Rogan 4:32 Yes.

Andrew Santino 4:32 Transitional shoes?

Joe Rogan 4:32 You can say that.

Andrew Santino 4:33 Okay.

Joe Rogan 4:33 You're allowed to say that about shoes.

Andrew Santino 4:34 I didn't know. Yeah, they're just shoes.

Joe Rogan 4:35 For now.

Andrew Santino 4:36 For n- yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:37 But it might change.

Andrew Santino 4:38 Don't- don't assume the gender of my shoes, Joe. You don't know.

Joe Rogan 4:41 Are there girly shoes?

Andrew Santino 4:43 There- but right, though? Aren't there?

Joe Rogan 4:44 There's n- there's gender neutral shoes.

Andrew Santino 4:45 How come when I buy shoes online that says women's shoes and men's shoes?

Narrator 4:49 Sizing.

Joe Rogan 4:49 Right, but it says-

Andrew Santino 4:50 But even still, 'cause they-

Joe Rogan 4:51 Yeah, but it is weird.

Andrew Santino 4:51 ... give you men's sizes on there, don't they?

Joe Rogan 4:53 Right. Like, a girl's- but why do they make girls feel like they have bigger feet? Because a girl's size nine is a man's size seven.

Andrew Santino 5:00 Correct.

Joe Rogan 5:00 Why don't they just make it size seven?

Andrew Santino 5:01 All the same.

Joe Rogan 5:02 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 5:03 See?

Joe Rogan 5:03 'Cause, like, Chucks, like, which are probably my favorite.

Andrew Santino 5:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 5:06 That- that's what they do. They let you know, girl's size nine.

Andrew Santino 5:11 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 5:11 Guys, like, it's-

Andrew Santino 5:12 Seven.

Joe Rogan 5:12 ... a guy's size seven.

Andrew Santino 5:13 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:14 So my size is 11, a girl's would be- that would make a girl feel like she's got giant-ass feet.

Andrew Santino 5:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:19 It could be a girl's size 13, you know? Like, them basketball player girls, they must have, like, complexes.

Andrew Santino 5:25 20, 20s, yeah. I love-

Joe Rogan 5:26 Yeah, because if a girl has a Le- LeBron-sized foot-

Andrew Santino 5:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 5:29 ... right? Imagine. Probably nobody does.

Narrator 5:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:32 But if they did-

Andrew Santino 5:33 It's huge.

Joe Rogan 5:33 What does he have, like an 18 or some shit?

Narrator 5:35 I don't know. It'd be a LeBron-sized girl probably.

Andrew Santino 5:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:37 Well, what does, like, Shaq has, like a 24?

Andrew Santino 5:39 22.

Narrator 5:39 22, very big. Very big feet.

Joe Rogan 5:40 22.

Andrew Santino 5:40 22 is his.

Joe Rogan 5:40 Okay, so a girl would have, like, a 24. Like, what the fuck, man?

Andrew Santino 5:43 That's massive.

Joe Rogan 5:44 Leave her alone.

Andrew Santino 5:45 Two feet, two feet.

Joe Rogan 5:48 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 5:49 (laughs) I got to tell you, I'm not gonna lie. I love- when girls have big feet, there's some-

Joe Rogan 5:52 You like that?

Andrew Santino 5:52 ... something so hot about it.

Joe Rogan 5:54 Really?

Andrew Santino 5:54 Big feet is crazy hot to me. (laughs) I don't know why. (laughs) I've always ... Like, when I ...

Joe Rogan 5:59 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 5:59 Especially when I was young, I liked big girls with big feet.

Joe Rogan 6:02 Wow.

Andrew Santino 6:03 Yeah, I was into it. I liked thick chicks with big feet.

Joe Rogan 6:05 I had a thing for thick ankles for a while.

Andrew Santino 6:07 Oh, yeah? You liked ankles?

Joe Rogan 6:08 Yeah. I dated a girl in high school that had thick ankles, and she was pretty hot.

Andrew Santino 6:11 Where it looks like her calf just goes into her shoe?

Joe Rogan 6:13 She just had large ankles-

Andrew Santino 6:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 6:15 ... for some reason. She was sturdy.

Andrew Santino 6:16 (laughs) Yeah, she was grounded.

Joe Rogan 6:18 She was pretty. Bea- beautiful girl.

Andrew Santino 6:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 6:19 But she had sturdy ankles.

Andrew Santino 6:20 Was she a ball ... Did she play softball? Did she play-

Joe Rogan 6:23 No-

Andrew Santino 6:23 ... volleyball?

Joe Rogan 6:23 She did gymnastics. And she ... I think-

Andrew Santino 6:25 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:25 ... it was just the way she was built.

Andrew Santino 6:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 6:26 She was just ... You know, some girls are just sturdier.

Andrew Santino 6:29 She looked like she might be able to put up a good fist fight against you.

Joe Rogan 6:31 Yeah. She'd probably fuck you up if-

Andrew Santino 6:32 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:32 ... you got her mad. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 6:33 (laughs) Yeah, don't piss her off, dude.

Joe Rogan 6:36 You ever see that video of the drunk girl in the bar? She's, like, uh, short, but, like, really wide and fat.

Andrew Santino 6:41 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 6:41 And she's throwing some dude around. She throws this dude around, he falls down, he gets back up-

Andrew Santino 6:46 Oh, she throws him again.

Joe Rogan 6:48 ... she throws him again.

Andrew Santino 6:48 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:48 Have you seen that?

Andrew Santino 6:48 I love that.

Joe Rogan 6:48 I think it's on Snoop's page right now.

Andrew Santino 6:51 It- it's, uh-

Joe Rogan 6:51 I'm- I am such a giant fan of Snoop Dogg's Instagram.

Andrew Santino 6:54 The best.

Joe Rogan 6:54 I go there every day looking for nonsense. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 6:56 Him- him and Freddie Gibbs have the best-

Joe Rogan 6:58 Oh, yes. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 6:58 ... Instagrams by far.

Joe Rogan 6:59 But doesn't Freddie Gibbs keep getting kicked offline?

Andrew Santino 7:01 Yeah, all the time.

Joe Rogan 7:02 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 7:02 They ban him for being too fucking funny. He always puts, "YPPO, white people." White people. He's ... Uh, whenever some white guy's doing some d- ... Like, there was a guy, he put up a video the other day of a- of a dude at a hotel. It's, like, at a Marriott Suites or some shit. And he's like- and he's recording him. He's like, "Why did you hit the computer? Why'd you hit your computer? Why are you freaking out?" And this, like- this weirdo white kid is, like, all, like, inside of himself, and he starts hitting himself in the face.

Joe Rogan 7:25 Oh, boy.

Narrator 7:25 Oh, yeah.

Andrew Santino 7:25 (laughs) Have you seen that?

Narrator 7:26 Yeah, that's not good.

Andrew Santino 7:27 It's fucking nuts.

Joe Rogan 7:28 That's a disease though. That guy's got-

Andrew Santino 7:30 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:30 ... a mental illness.

Andrew Santino 7:30 Something's wrong. And he starts-

Joe Rogan 7:31 God.

Andrew Santino 7:31 ... bawling.

Joe Rogan 7:32 Oh.

Andrew Santino 7:32 And the dude's like, "This is who works here, huh?" And then Freddie-

Joe Rogan 7:34 Oh, boy.

Andrew Santino 7:34 ... just wrote, "White people." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:37 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 7:37 I love that shit. White people.

Narrator 7:39 What do you got there, Jimmy?

Joe Rogan 7:40 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 7:41 Oh, that's it. That's it right there. There she is.

Joe Rogan 7:42 That's her. That's her. Lookit.

Andrew Santino 7:43 Fucking that dude up.

Joe Rogan 7:43 That's what I'm talking about. Lookit the ankles on that girl.

Andrew Santino 7:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:45 It's a thick lady. Lookit-

Andrew Santino 7:46 Lookit how hard she throws-

Joe Rogan 7:47 Lookit how sturdy she is.

Andrew Santino 7:48 ... that dude.

Joe Rogan 7:48 That- she knows how to throw her fucking weight around. Lookit her pushing that guy around. Lookit the throw. And look how the other dude slams into her and nothing happens.

Andrew Santino 7:55 She doesn't- doesn't even bother her.

Joe Rogan 7:55 That's my favorite part. Watch. This guy slams into her.

Andrew Santino 7:57 Nothing.

Joe Rogan 7:58 Nothing. Sturdy base. Very sturdy base. Like she did judo or something.

Andrew Santino 8:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:02 She threw him around like Steven Seagal. Lookit that shit.

Andrew Santino 8:05 That's what you get for cutting in line. She was pissed. She's like, "You motherfuckers are not getting before me."

Joe Rogan 8:09 It's hilarious.

Andrew Santino 8:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:10 That dude went down hard. 'Cause-

Andrew Santino 8:11 I love Snoop. I love Snoop's Instagram. Snoop- Snoop has transcended so many things. To go from a guy who was, like, uh, uh, had a murder charge, uh, uh, in a- in a gang, an actual gang member, right? Growing up in Long Beach, and then becoming someone that's, like, kicks ... My grandmother loves him.

Joe Rogan 8:27 He hangs out with Martha Stewart.

Andrew Santino 8:28 Yeah, my grandmother thinks he's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 8:30 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 8:30 She's like, "I love Snoopy Dogg."

Joe Rogan 8:31 Who doesn't love him?

Narrator 8:31 You commented-

Joe Rogan 8:32 Wasn't it saying that?

Narrator 8:33 ... on this in 2019. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:33 Oh, I got (laughs) ... She has a tremendous-

Andrew Santino 8:36 Lookit his face.

Joe Rogan 8:36 ... base and a lifetime of drunken hand-to-hand combat experience, said comedian, UFC commentator, Joe Rogan. This is the highest level female white trash opponent you could face, and clearly that dude was not prepared.

Andrew Santino 8:45 100% not.

Joe Rogan 8:45 Oh, that's hilar- ... is a McDonald's in the UK.

Narrator 8:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:48 Oh, that's hilarious.

Andrew Santino 8:49 Shoutout to her for having that kind of skill.

Joe Rogan 8:51 This is funny when ... I forget I have commenters on things.

Narrator 8:53 No, I ... It's not the first time I've seen this.

Joe Rogan 8:54 No, it's not the first. There's a great one right now on Josh the Pump- Punk Thompson. You know, Josh Thompson? The former MMA fighter, commentator for Bellator now.

Narrator 9:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:03 He's got one on his page now where they're in- interviewing this lady, and she's talking about how, uh, this woman was suppos- th- the- the cops are talking to this lady. She's saying this lady sold her some crack, but it wasn't crack. It was actually plaster, and she wants her $20 back.

Andrew Santino 9:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:18 She's very upset.

Andrew Santino 9:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:20 It gets better.

Andrew Santino 9:20 She's telling the cops-

Joe Rogan 9:21 Yeah, yeah.

Andrew Santino 9:21 ... she was gonna buy crack?

Joe Rogan 9:22 Watch this. But watch this, 'cause it gets better. It gets better.

Narrator 9:27 Okay, it keeps ... Hold on, let me just restart it-

Andrew Santino 9:29 Oh, okay.

Narrator 9:29 ... 'cause it went too far.

9:31 ... for bail. For what? For anything. I don't care. Whatever it's for, but she can give me my money back if she ain't gonna do nothing with it. Okay, were you planning to buy some drugs or something? Yes, I was.

Andrew Santino 9:41 (laughs)

Narrator 9:41 What kind of drugs were you wanting to buy? Rock. Rock? Yes, I was. You gave her your $20 back. I gave her $20, she gave me some plaster. And now you want your $20 back- Yes, I do. ... because she didn't supply you with crack cocaine. Well, she- if she shouldn't give me nothing, no plaster or nothing-

9:55 This is from 2019.

9:55 What's going on?

9:57 She come around here a while ago. There used to be some people that right over there that used to sell.

10:00 Yeah.

10:00 We was sitting out here on the porch in some chairs, so she said, "Y'all have anything to buy?" I said, "Nah, baby, we don't have nothing to sell," so she left and went around the corner.

10:06 Mm-hmm.

10:07 Then she come back 10 minutes later hollering, "Give me my money back." I was like, "No, you ain't bought nothing from here, and don't disrespect my child." This is my child.

10:14 Mm-hmm.

10:15 "I don't sell crack. I'm a prostitute."

10:17 I paid her $20.

Andrew Santino 10:17 (laughs)

Narrator 10:18 (laughs)

10:19 For what?

Joe Rogan 10:20 (laughs) What the fuck, man?

Andrew Santino 10:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:24 What the fuck?

Andrew Santino 10:25 Du- that's the great ... That was like an-

Joe Rogan 10:26 What the fuck?

Andrew Santino 10:26 ... M. Night Shyamalan film.

Joe Rogan 10:27 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 10:27 That was the greatest twist I've ever seen. (laughs) I didn't see that coming-

Joe Rogan 10:31 It was.

Andrew Santino 10:31 ... at all.

Joe Rogan 10:32 It was.

Andrew Santino 10:33 I thought for sure ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:34 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 10:35 "I'm a prostitute." What a good drop.

Joe Rogan 10:37 I don't know, "Don't respect my-"

Andrew Santino 10:38 Don't disrespect-

Joe Rogan 10:39 "... disrespect my child."

Andrew Santino 10:40 ... my child like that. I'm a prostitute, okay?

Joe Rogan 10:42 Jesus Christ.

Andrew Santino 10:42 I don't sell drugs. I sell- I sell this drug. Actually, that's a drug, ma'am.

Joe Rogan 10:46 Hoo. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 10:47 I saw Cejudo commented on it. You saw ... He said ... Cejudo said something on the side. I didn't see what he said, but-

Joe Rogan 10:52 Well-

Andrew Santino 10:52 ... he had commented on the video.

Joe Rogan 10:53 Dude-

Andrew Santino 10:53 Whose page was that?

Joe Rogan 10:54 Uh, Josh Thompson's.

Andrew Santino 10:55 Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:56 Yeah. It ... There's a never-ending supply of those videos.

Andrew Santino 10:58 I know, man.

Joe Rogan 10:59 That's the beautiful thing about being online.

Andrew Santino 11:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:01 It's like, there is so much shit you can laugh at.

Andrew Santino 11:04 All the negative shit online, there's more of that fun stuff. You just have to keep going and looking for it and get away from all the bullshit online.

Joe Rogan 11:09 Just stay off Twitter.

Andrew Santino 11:10 Let me- let me ask you a real question-

Joe Rogan 11:12 Okay.

Andrew Santino 11:12 ... 'cause I haven't- I haven't asked you. I saw that Jake Paul kid chirping at your boy DC.

Joe Rogan 11:16 Yes.

Andrew Santino 11:17 It ... What's the deal?

Joe Rogan 11:18 Well, he wants to make some money.

Andrew Santino 11:19 No, no. He's a good Sh-

Joe Rogan 11:20 He's- he's a very clever-

Andrew Santino 11:20 ... he's a good showman.

Joe Rogan 11:21 ... fellow.

Andrew Santino 11:22 But what did DC say to him?

Joe Rogan 11:23 DC said, "Take my fucking name out of your mouth."

Andrew Santino 11:26 Backed.

Joe Rogan 11:26 "I'm not a kid."

Andrew Santino 11:27 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 11:27 "I will fuck you up." And he was like, "Yikes." You know? (laughs)

Andrew Santino 11:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:31 Lookit, fucking former UFC heavyweight champion of the world.

Andrew Santino 11:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:34 That- that's not what you want, you know?

Andrew Santino 11:36 But shoutout ... I will say, this fucking kid knows-

Joe Rogan 11:39 He's making money.

Andrew Santino 11:39 ... how to piss everybody off. He's so good at it.

Joe Rogan 11:41 Let me tell you something, dude. We were in Florida, in Jacksonville, sold-out arena.

Andrew Santino 11:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:45 And they were all chanting, "Fuck Jake Paul."

Andrew Santino 11:48 Wow.

Joe Rogan 11:49 "Fuck Jake Paul." He's filming it.

Narrator 11:51 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 11:51 Oh, he's loving it.

Joe Rogan 11:51 He's- he's got his phone out.

Andrew Santino 11:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:52 He's like, "Yeah."

Andrew Santino 11:53 'Cause you know what-

Narrator 11:54 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 11:54 ... you know what he's hearing?

Joe Rogan 11:55 Money.

Andrew Santino 11:55 "Jake Paul. Jake Paul."

Joe Rogan 11:57 No, he's hearing cha-ching.

Andrew Santino 11:58 Yeah, the whole time.

Joe Rogan 11:59 Cha-ching.

Narrator 12:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:00 He's making so much money, dude.

Andrew Santino 12:01 No, be genuine.

Joe Rogan 12:02 He said there was 1.5 million pay-per-view buys when he knocked out Ben Askren.I don't know if that's true.

Andrew Santino 12:08 Wow.

Joe Rogan 12:08 Dana White says it's nonsense. But maybe ... He doesn't- I mean, who has the f- fucking receipts?

Andrew Santino 12:13 1.5.

Joe Rogan 12:13 If he's telling the truth, an- and you know, if he's lying, why didn't he say two million? Why didn't he say three million?

Andrew Santino 12:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:17 Why did he say 1.5? I mean, maybe he's telling the truth. If he's telling the truth, they made a fucking considerable-

Andrew Santino 12:23 Wow.

Joe Rogan 12:23 ... amount of money. And that's bigger by more than double the very legitimate three fight, three title fight UFC card over this past weekend.

Andrew Santino 12:32 Wow.

Joe Rogan 12:32 Because that apparently got 700,000 buys. Granted, these are 700,000 ESPN+...

Andrew Santino 12:39 Plus.

Joe Rogan 12:40 ... Verified, absolute buys.

Andrew Santino 12:43 I know.

Joe Rogan 12:43 There's no bullshit.

Andrew Santino 12:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:45 You know, this whole Triller Fight Club thing is like, you know, you got, like, rap music and a bunch of other shit, and you got this Triller company, which a friend of mine who, uh, works in finance explained to me what Triller was. The Triller eve-... Now ver- verify this. See if this is true. They were originally poised... Th- they w- they put together a company. I don't know if this is true. This is just what e- my friend told me.

Andrew Santino 13:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 13:07 That they put... And my friends are very smart. They put together this company because TikTok was about to be banned from the United States. And when TikTok was about to be banned and, uh, Josh Rogan, the j- journalist explained to us that cluster fuck, that they, they almost had it banned, but then they tried to capitalize on it-

Andrew Santino 13:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 13:24 ... and make money and sell it to Oracle. It was just crazy shit. But anyway, when Triller... Triller was set to take over, like, "Hey, we're the new TikTok."

Andrew Santino 13:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:32 So they got a bunch of money together and then the Justice Department or whoever decided not to ban TikTok. The thing fell apart. TikTok's still here, so then they said, "We're gonna put on fights."

Andrew Santino 13:43 Huh.

Joe Rogan 13:44 I don't know if that's true.

Narrator 13:45 Close. Very close. It was already an app going around that was like a very small competitor to TikTok-

Joe Rogan 13:51 Mm.

Narrator 13:51 ... based almost just on like hip hop music only.

Joe Rogan 13:54 Oh.

Narrator 13:54 And then they expanded into video, other stuff, and then that happened. They like were used because they were the only like c- US competitor.

Joe Rogan 14:00 So then they negotiated a deal with Mike Tyson to fight Roy Jones Jr.

Andrew Santino 14:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:06 And that was this gigantic, huge fight. That got over a million buys, I believe. Right?

Narrator 14:10 I think so.

Andrew Santino 14:11 That's huge.

Joe Rogan 14:11 I think it was... I think th-... And I believe that. I mean, everybody wanted to see what the fuck was happening there. And then Mike Tyson recently said he wants nothing to do with them. He's not doing anything with them anymore.

Andrew Santino 14:20 Why?

Joe Rogan 14:20 He's done. I don't know.

Narrator 14:20 Something happen?

Joe Rogan 14:21 I don't know.

Andrew Santino 14:21 I wonder.

Joe Rogan 14:22 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 14:22 The money wasn't... Did something happen with the money?

Joe Rogan 14:24 I have no idea. Maybe he got a better offer somewhere else.

Andrew Santino 14:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:27 Maybe they didn't do him, do him justice.

Andrew Santino 14:29 So was the app like... Jamie, was the app like how TikTok is? Where you... Is that what it was?

Narrator 14:33 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 14:33 Like you upload videos-

Narrator 14:34 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 14:34 ... and b-... And all that shit?

Narrator 14:35 Yeah. Like, I think like, you know, the r-... Excuse me. The rapper DaBaby.

Joe Rogan 14:38 He's-

Narrator 14:38 I was gonna say that wrong, but...

Andrew Santino 14:39 You sound like my dad.

Joe Rogan 14:40 You sound so white.

Narrator 14:41 H-... Well that's how use-

Andrew Santino 14:41 The rapper DaBaby.

Narrator 14:42 I was gonna say Da rapper.

Andrew Santino 14:43 DaBaby.

Narrator 14:43 I didn't wanna like stutter over the words.

Joe Rogan 14:45 (laughs)

Narrator 14:45 But he was using that instead of TikTok.

Andrew Santino 14:47 Yeah.

Narrator 14:47 And that's how his songs were getting big.

Andrew Santino 14:48 Ah.

Narrator 14:49 Like a year or two ago.

Joe Rogan 14:50 Oh. Triller? He was using Triller?

Narrator 14:51 Mm-hmm. And I feel like people were telling him, "You should be on, uh, TikTok." And he's like, "Fuck that. I'm using Triller."

Andrew Santino 14:54 Well, the whole... And the reason that the TikTok-

Joe Rogan 14:56 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 14:56 ... thing was gonna get curbed was 'cause they believed that it was... 'Cause it's a Chinese app, so they're like-

Joe Rogan 15:00 Exactly.

Andrew Santino 15:00 But the TikTok that we use, their servers are all U- US servers. That's why that was gone away. I'm almost positive that's what I heard was-

Joe Rogan 15:08 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 15:08 Our TikTok that we use here from our-

Joe Rogan 15:11 So it's our government spying on us.

Andrew Santino 15:13 Correct.

Joe Rogan 15:13 So it's not the Chinese government.

Andrew Santino 15:14 Correct.

Joe Rogan 15:15 So we're okay.

Andrew Santino 15:15 Yeah. They're okay. If-

Joe Rogan 15:16 It's not communist.

Andrew Santino 15:17 It's okay if it's us.

Joe Rogan 15:18 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 15:18 Yeah. You guys can't do it, but we're gonna do it.

Joe Rogan 15:20 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 15:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:21 It's all so wacky.

Andrew Santino 15:22 You know how people-

Joe Rogan 15:23 S-

Andrew Santino 15:23 ... cover up their cameras on their laptops? You know, do you do that up there on that laptop? Do you have like a-

Narrator 15:27 My phone?

Andrew Santino 15:27 I-

Joe Rogan 15:27 I do, but I open it up when I jerk off.

Andrew Santino 15:29 Me too. I have to.

Joe Rogan 15:30 Come watch.

Andrew Santino 15:30 And I stare right into it.

Joe Rogan 15:31 Come watch.

Andrew Santino 15:32 And I go, "Joe."

Joe Rogan 15:33 Whoa.

Andrew Santino 15:33 "Joey Biden."

Joe Rogan 15:35 Whoa.

Andrew Santino 15:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:36 Imagine.

Andrew Santino 15:36 I never understood that. Like how e-... This... They're record-... They're... This is recording all t-... At all times.

Joe Rogan 15:40 Yes.

Andrew Santino 15:40 So what's the diff- what's the difference? You gonna cover up your camera? They're all listening to you the whole time.

Joe Rogan 15:44 There's a lot of things that could record you at all times.

Andrew Santino 15:47 Fine.

Joe Rogan 15:48 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 15:48 What are you gonna do?

Joe Rogan 15:49 Just, uh, don't be a piece of shit. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 15:51 Accep-... Just accept it. Just accept that they're gonna get you.

Joe Rogan 15:54 Well, I mean, who is they? And if they do get you, then they have to admit that they've been doing this the whole time-

Andrew Santino 15:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:58 ... with no warrant.

Andrew Santino 15:59 We've been recording.

Joe Rogan 15:59 But that's the thing about w-... The Patriot Act and the Patriot Act 2 and all that jazz, they can just sort of randomly decide that you're a threat to the republic.

Andrew Santino 16:08 Totally.

Joe Rogan 16:09 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 16:09 Could you be a threat to the public?

Joe Rogan 16:10 Well, the White House commented on what I said about-

Andrew Santino 16:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:14 ... vaccines.

Andrew Santino 16:15 (laughs) It's so funny. Fauci hit you up.

Joe Rogan 16:18 Well, he didn't hit me up necessarily. He disagreed with me.

Andrew Santino 16:21 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:21 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 16:22 Yeah, I got vaxxed up, baby.

Joe Rogan 16:23 Did you?

Andrew Santino 16:24 I got one shot in the arm.

Joe Rogan 16:24 But didn't you already get COVID?

Andrew Santino 16:26 (clicks tongue) Yeah, I had 'rona. I had it in October.

Joe Rogan 16:29 So why did you get a vaccination?

Andrew Santino 16:31 (sighs) I'm a sheeple, dude.

Joe Rogan 16:32 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 16:33 I'm part of the sheep, dude. I wanted it. 'Cause my antibodies I think were gone. The last time we got tested w-... For antibodies was three months after.

Joe Rogan 16:40 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 16:40 And they said they were there, but they weren't super strong.

Joe Rogan 16:42 So you're scared.

Andrew Santino 16:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:45 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 16:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:45 What you get? The Johnson & Johnson?

Andrew Santino 16:47 No, dude. I'm Moderna, mama.

Joe Rogan 16:49 You only got one though.

Andrew Santino 16:50 (clicks tongue) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:50 Why didn't you get two?

Andrew Santino 16:51 'Cause my second one is in like two weeks or a week.

Joe Rogan 16:53 Oh. Oh, okay.

Andrew Santino 16:53 They just have to spread you out a month.

Joe Rogan 16:55 Yeah, 21 days, right?

Andrew Santino 16:56 I got it. Nothing... No, uh... I don't know, man. The whole thing... Like, c- or Corona for me was weird already. So I was like, "I don't know, I'll just do that thing to not have it again." I bought into the system. I'm a sheep.

Joe Rogan 17:05 Well, it's not being a sheep. It's... I mean, there's some legitimate science behind this.

Andrew Santino 17:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:11 It's not... Th- this is like the thing about this whole thing, this, uh, people being upset at me. I didn't say... I'm not... I'm not an anti-vax person.

Andrew Santino 17:21 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:21 In fact, I said, "I believe they're safe," and I encourage many people to take 'em. My parents were vaccinated. I just said, "I don't think that if you're a young, healthy person that you need it." Their argument was, "You need it for other people."

Andrew Santino 17:36 So you don't transmit the virus.

Joe Rogan 17:37 That makes more sense.

Andrew Santino 17:38 So I'm a young-

Joe Rogan 17:39 That's... But that's a different argument. That's a different conversation.

Andrew Santino 17:41 I'm a young, not so healthy person.

Joe Rogan 17:42 You're not that young.

Andrew Santino 17:43 Okay, Joe. Thanks, man.

Narrator 17:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:44 You're not.

Andrew Santino 17:45 Okay.

Joe Rogan 17:45 If you were a hot chick...

Andrew Santino 17:47 Then you'd say I was young?

Joe Rogan 17:48 I'd be like, "You're on the ropes."

Andrew Santino 17:50 (laughs) Am I backed up a little bit?

Joe Rogan 17:52 How old are you?

Andrew Santino 17:52 37.

Joe Rogan 17:53 Yeah, you're on the ropes, bro.

Andrew Santino 17:54 I'm... What do you mean? That's still young.

Joe Rogan 17:55 If you have no children, if you had no children and you're a hot chick-

Andrew Santino 17:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:58 ... let's be honest.

Andrew Santino 17:59 I'm older now.

Joe Rogan 17:59 You're on the ropes.

Andrew Santino 18:00 Okay, fine.

Joe Rogan 18:01 It's not bad.

Andrew Santino 18:02 I'm getting older.

Joe Rogan 18:03 I'm old as fuck.

Andrew Santino 18:04 Yeah, you are. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:05 Okay, I'm 53. I'm old as fuck.

Andrew Santino 18:07 I know.

Joe Rogan 18:07 I'm almost 20 years older than you.

Andrew Santino 18:08 When we celebrated-

Joe Rogan 18:09 So...

Andrew Santino 18:09 ... your 50 year old bir-... 50th birthday, we were in Detroit. Where were we?

Joe Rogan 18:13 I forget.

Andrew Santino 18:13 And I've, and it hit me hard that you were 50.

Joe Rogan 18:15 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 18:16 I was like, "Oh, my friend is 50." And I was starting to plan your funeral. I was like, I was going through all that stuff.

Joe Rogan 18:21 (laughs)

Narrator 18:21 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 18:22 I was like, "What, what of, what are we gonna do?"

Joe Rogan 18:23 But honestly, it doesn't bother me.

Andrew Santino 18:25 No, because why? 'cause you're h- you're in such a great stride of your life.

Joe Rogan 18:27 'Cause I'm on fucking steroids.

Narrator 18:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:29 'Cause I've juiced up.

Andrew Santino 18:30 Give them to me, bro.

Joe Rogan 18:31 No. I'm on, uh, testosterone replacement therapy and every vitamin known to man. I take, uh, uh, a giant athletic greens every day.

Andrew Santino 18:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:39 I take a fucking pallet of vitamins. I feel-

Andrew Santino 18:42 What do I need to take?

Joe Rogan 18:43 ... fantastic.

Andrew Santino 18:44 What do I need to take?

Joe Rogan 18:44 I'm in the sauna every day. Here's the thing, like, all these people that are saying... And y- in, in many ways... Listen, here's the thing. These are not, like, planned statements. Let's be real clear.

Andrew Santino 18:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:55 When I say something stupid, I'm not thinking about what I'm gonna say before I say it.

Andrew Santino 18:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:59 I'm just saying it, right? I don't have an off-air and on-air voice. I don't.

Andrew Santino 19:04 No.

Joe Rogan 19:04 I have me.

Andrew Santino 19:05 This is us.

Joe Rogan 19:05 This is it. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 19:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:07 I, I got through the fucking net and I'm swimming in open waters.

Narrator 19:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:12 Okay?

Andrew Santino 19:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:13 And that's just how I live.

Andrew Santino 19:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:14 D- I don't... Like, if you say you disagree with me, I probably disagree with me too. I disagree with me all the time. If you sa- if someone said, "You h- uh, yeah, young-"

Narrator 19:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:24 "... healthy 21-year-old people who eat well and exercise are not at high risk for coronavirus, but you should think about other people," I would say, "Well, that's a different argument. And yes, that makes sense."

Narrator 19:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:36 But I would say, "Aren't those people vaccinated? And shouldn't we vaccinate the vulnerable people?"

Andrew Santino 19:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:40 And then we'd have a different conversation.

Andrew Santino 19:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:42 The problem is today everything is all headlines and highlights and it's all clickbait, which is fine. That's the business.

Andrew Santino 19:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:50 And I... Listen, I have a deep respect for real journalism. I love Glenn Greenwald and Matt Taibbi and people that stick their fucking neck out and do real journalism. But there's a lot of people out there that have to make a fucking living. And what's the best way to make a living? Well, here's one way. Take a jackass like me.

Narrator 20:08 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 20:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:09 Go over there podcast, go over this three-hour drunken ridiculous podcast. Did we drink with Dave? Yeah. No. Dave Smith?

Narrator 20:18 I don't know. I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 20:20 No.

Narrator 20:20 Nah.

Joe Rogan 20:20 I don't think we drank.

Narrator 20:21 Probably not. I'd say no, probably not.

Joe Rogan 20:22 But that's unusual.

Andrew Santino 20:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:24 A lot of times we're drinking or we're-

Andrew Santino 20:25 Every time I'm here.

Joe Rogan 20:26 ... or we're high.

Andrew Santino 20:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:27 You know? And I say stupid shit. I get it. And if you mine that and you make money off of that, more power to you.

Andrew Santino 20:35 Sure.

Joe Rogan 20:35 I don't care.

Andrew Santino 20:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:36 I'm happy for you.

Andrew Santino 20:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:38 T- uh, but just don't lie. Just don't lie.

Andrew Santino 20:40 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 20:40 M- get a little clickbaity, we're good.

Andrew Santino 20:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:43 That's okay.

Andrew Santino 20:43 But I'm, but I'm not gonna lie.

Joe Rogan 20:44 Let me, let me say one other thing.

Narrator 20:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:46 I was going to get the vaccine. I was scheduled to get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. The UFC had allocated a certain amount of vaccines for all their employees.

Andrew Santino 20:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:55 And so Dana said, "Do you wanna come in and get the vaccine?" I said, "Sure. What day?" And he said, "We'll, we'll set one aside when you come in for the fights. Come get vaccinated." I said, "Okay, great." I went in there, I spoke to Dr. Davidson. He said, "The way the CDC has the vaccines allocated, we really have to do you at the clinic. So can you come to the hospital?" And I said, "I can't. I, I don't have time." He said, "You'd have to come back on Monday." I said, "I'll work this out." And then it got pulled.

Andrew Santino 21:21 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:22 Like right afterwards-

Andrew Santino 21:23 Blood clots.

Joe Rogan 21:23 ... the Johnson & Johnson thing got pulled, which... Now, here's the thing. Any medication... Again, I'm not a doctor. I'm a fucking moron and I'm a c- cage fighting commentator-

Andrew Santino 21:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:33 ... who's a dirty standup comedian-

Narrator 21:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:36 ... who just told you I'm drunk most of the time.

Andrew Santino 21:37 (laughs)

Narrator 21:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:38 And I do testosterone and I smoke a lot of weed. But I'm not a respected source of information, even for me.

Andrew Santino 21:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:46 If I say things, I'm always going, "Check on that, Jamie. I don't know if that's true."

Andrew Santino 21:49 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:49 I, I do that all the time.

Andrew Santino 21:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:51 But I at least try to be honest about what I'm saying.

Andrew Santino 21:56 Or what you feel.

Joe Rogan 21:57 Yes.

Andrew Santino 21:58 Yeah. That's what it is.

Joe Rogan 21:59 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 21:59 You're allowed to feel. You're like, "This is how I kinda feel."

Joe Rogan 22:03 My parents got both shots, nothing. (snaps fingers)

Andrew Santino 22:06 Same with mine.

Joe Rogan 22:07 Nothing.

Andrew Santino 22:07 Same thing.

Joe Rogan 22:08 My, my, my stepdad said he was tired for a day.

Andrew Santino 22:10 My, my parents-

Joe Rogan 22:11 My mom-

Andrew Santino 22:11 ... felt nothing.

Joe Rogan 22:11 My mom's a gorilla.

Andrew Santino 22:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:13 She is like... Literally (laughs) you can hit my mom with a meteor-

Andrew Santino 22:16 Hit her arm, she's just like, "Whoa."

Joe Rogan 22:17 ... she's just like, "Roar!" "What happened?" Like, uh, I had my mom get some stem cells from, uh, my doctor in Santa Monica.

Andrew Santino 22:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:22 And he was like, "Dude, your mom doesn't even flinch. I shove this fucking giant needle in her knee and she just stares at me in the eyes."

Andrew Santino 22:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:28 He goes, "It was actually kinda scary." (laughs)

Andrew Santino 22:30 Do it again. Meanwhile, I get freaked out when I have too much of a block. I had tooth work done and they blocked my face, you know, and they give you-

Joe Rogan 22:36 Oh, you get numb?

Andrew Santino 22:37 Bro, but they... It's, you know, it's called the block. And, and the block is where they, they have to numb one half of your face 'cause they did so much work.

Joe Rogan 22:44 So you can't smile?

Andrew Santino 22:44 Oh, dude, you-

Joe Rogan 22:45 So you're like Stallone.

Andrew Santino 22:46 Uh, uh, uh, ugh, oh, oh, whoa, whoa.

Joe Rogan 22:47 Hey-o! Hey-o!

Andrew Santino 22:48 But I, it creeped up to my eye. And at one point, I told her, I was like... And I pushed her away, I was like, "Hey, this is like... I can f- it's like up to my eyeball now, like this-"

Joe Rogan 22:57 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 22:57 "... part of my whole face." She's like, "Yeah, I gave you the full block." I was like, "Uh, okay."

Narrator 23:01 Why'd you do that, lady?

Andrew Santino 23:02 Yeah, I go, "That was too much, man." (laughs)

Narrator 23:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:04 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 23:04 My fucking eye was, like, twitching. And even, like, that I was such a bitch about that I was like, "Uh..." And by-, and I learned, by the way, when they block you, they can only do one half of your mouth at a time because apparently they used to block both sides if they were doing a lot of dental work and people would bite off their tongue.

Joe Rogan 23:19 Oh.

Andrew Santino 23:19 They would sever their t- they'd go home and eat within an hour-

Joe Rogan 23:22 And not know you were chewing right through your tongue? Wow.

Andrew Santino 23:23 And I was like, "How often that happen?" And she's like, "Thousands of times."

Joe Rogan 23:26 Oh.

Andrew Santino 23:27 People would bite off their whole fucking tongue. (laughs)

Narrator 23:29 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 23:29 I was like, "No way."

Narrator 23:30 Wow.

Joe Rogan 23:30 Oh my god, I feel terrible.

Andrew Santino 23:32 So they had to... So apparently, uh, you know, whoever regulates the American Dental Association, they- you're only allowed to block half your face. But I'm telling you, dude, I've never felt that way. It was like, uh, my whole n- I mean, she gave me a huge one 'cause she had got, she had to get my, um, my wisdom teeth and fuck, my whole side of my face, and even my, my eye was numb. And I was a pussy about that. With my parents, they've already lived through so much, that's why they don't get bothered by stuff.

Joe Rogan 23:55 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 23:55 Like your mom didn't flinch 'cause she's like, "I've lived through shit."

Joe Rogan 23:57 But her parents came over on a boat.

Andrew Santino 23:59 Yeah. I push people out of my pussy. I'm not gonna fucking-

Joe Rogan 24:01 Boo! (laughs)

Andrew Santino 24:01 ... freak out about your, your bullshit. That's, I think j- our parents are just too tough. They've lived through... My grandmother's 90 and I w- she traveled during corona to see her sister.And I said, "Nana, aren't you a little scared?" And she was like, "No."

Joe Rogan 24:13 My wife's grandma was skiing when she was in her 80s.

Andrew Santino 24:16 They-

Joe Rogan 24:16 They give a fuck. (shushing)

Andrew Santino 24:17 Why? They lived through it. Yeah, they already did it.

Joe Rogan 24:20 (shushing)

Andrew Santino 24:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:20 (shushing)

Andrew Santino 24:20 They're like, "Dude, I, I was..." They were like, "I was before color TV." What the fuck do you mean?

Joe Rogan 24:24 Oh-

Andrew Santino 24:24 Like-

Joe Rogan 24:24 For all TV.

Andrew Santino 24:25 Yeah, I, I-

Joe Rogan 24:25 Fuck color TV.

Andrew Santino 24:26 Yeah. They were just, uh, just the idea was just like nothing matters. She didn't care. She was like, "I'll be fine and if I'm not, I'm 90."

Joe Rogan 24:32 Well, here's the, here's an expression. I forget who s- said this to me, but, uh, I, I s- repeat it all the time, so I'm sorry if I don't give them credit. But the worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

Andrew Santino 24:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 24:42 Now you have to think about it. If you're like Francis Ngannou, who was 10 years old working in a fucking sand mine in Cameroon, you know what I'm saying?

Andrew Santino 24:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:52 Like, and you didn't have any money and you had to walk miles to school-

Andrew Santino 24:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 24:55 ... and, you know, you didn't have money for pencils and paper, that's the worst thing that's happened to you.

Andrew Santino 25:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:00 Or if somebody, you know, says something mean about you being maybe 10 pounds overweight and you're triggered.

Andrew Santino 25:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:09 Like, that's the worst thing that's happened to you. But it's the worst thing that's happened to you.

Andrew Santino 25:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:13 Still the worst thing. Like, it's like we, we judge everything on a curve. So the worst thing that happened to you, if it's a terrible atrocity or the worst thing that happened to you is, like, someone saying you're chubby-

Andrew Santino 25:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:25 ... we treat it like it's the same thing because we live in a soft time. It's easy to get by today.

Andrew Santino 25:31 Well, we also live in our own little bubble, right?

Joe Rogan 25:33 Yes.

Andrew Santino 25:33 Like, we only know what we know and we only want... W- w- we've only... That phrase also m- is the same meaning of I can't relate to what it's like to grow up without a family in an orphanage, struggling to eat. I don't know what that pain is like.

Joe Rogan 25:46 Right.

Andrew Santino 25:46 I know what my shitty pains are like. So everyone's shit is their own shit. You don't know... Us making fun of Jamey's man bun may be really riddling him for the rest of the podcast.

Joe Rogan 25:55 Jamey doesn't give a fuck.

Narrator 25:56 I don't care.

Joe Rogan 25:57 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 25:57 Yeah, he doesn't give a shit.

Joe Rogan 25:58 Trust me.

Andrew Santino 25:58 Don't, don't, don't, don't-

Joe Rogan 25:59 I know him well.

Andrew Santino 25:59 ... chew that gum so snarky at me, Jamey, all right?

Joe Rogan 26:01 He's chewing Neuro Gum.

Andrew Santino 26:02 Well-

Joe Rogan 26:02 It gives you, it makes you smarter. He's ready to fuck with you.

Andrew Santino 26:04 Well then you need a whole fucking box of that shit-

Joe Rogan 26:06 Wow.

Andrew Santino 26:06 ... Jamey.

Narrator 26:07 And a micro dose.

Andrew Santino 26:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:09 Oh, and a micro dose today too?

Narrator 26:10 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:10 Oh, how is it? You liking it?

Narrator 26:11 Yeah. I don't know. I can't really feel it so I don't know.

Joe Rogan 26:13 But it gives you, like, a nice, like, ah.

Narrator 26:15 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 26:15 What are you dosing right now?

Joe Rogan 26:17 Shrooms.

Narrator 26:17 Yes. Uh-

Andrew Santino 26:18 Yeah, but what, like, what l- what, what, what dosage?

Narrator 26:20 It's, uh, I took three point... It says .14, so, like, the whole package was about an eighth-

Andrew Santino 26:27 Right.

Narrator 26:27 ... and it was broken up into 30 pieces. So it's, like, very small.

Joe Rogan 26:29 This is all just information for the DEA.

Andrew Santino 26:32 100%.

Narrator 26:32 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:33 When are they gonna legalize that?

Andrew Santino 26:34 Get it.

Joe Rogan 26:34 Jesus Christ, people.

Andrew Santino 26:35 Well, didn't they... Wait, wait. Didn't they in the Pacific Northwest? Isn't it legal?

Joe Rogan 26:37 It is in Portland-

Andrew Santino 26:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:39 ... in, in Oregon. Oregon made, uh, mushrooms and everything else legal. In Oregon you can get steroids, you can get-

Andrew Santino 26:45 Wow.

Joe Rogan 26:46 ... you can get, uh, heroin, whatever.

Andrew Santino 26:49 Okay.

Joe Rogan 26:49 Everything is decriminalized. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 26:50 What's the, what, what do you-

Joe Rogan 26:51 But meanwhile you can also light the Capitol building on fire.

Andrew Santino 26:54 Well, if you got enough people.

Joe Rogan 26:56 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 26:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:56 In Oregon the fucking, the mayor of Portland, who was this, like, staunch supporter of ANTIFA is now like, "They are thugs."

Andrew Santino 27:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:04 "They're trying to ruin our city."

Andrew Santino 27:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:06 He's even giving in. They lit the lobby of his apartment building on fire and he had to move out.

Andrew Santino 27:11 Oh, is, really?

Joe Rogan 27:12 Listen, here's my, my message to the mayor of Portland. I think he's a good guy, I really do.

Andrew Santino 27:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:18 I really do. He, I think he just didn't understand the animal that he was dealing with.

Andrew Santino 27:22 Hm.

Joe Rogan 27:22 He didn't understand that they wanna burn to the ground because they're fucking losers.

Andrew Santino 27:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:27 Those people are fucking losers.

Andrew Santino 27:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:29 And they don't want society to exist.

Andrew Santino 27:32 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:32 They want everybody to be burned down to their level.

Andrew Santino 27:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:35 They wanna dress in black and throw rocks through Starbucks. And it doesn't make any sense because it doesn't have to make any sense because they found another tribe of losers. They all get together and they all do the same thing. They throw cement milkshakes at people, they beat up folks, they do their thing-

Andrew Santino 27:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:51 ... and it's fun because it's more fun than not doing that because they don't have anything. Outside of that, the... Did you, do you remember there was a guy, it was either Seattle or Portland, who was this crazy ANTIFA guy who wound up shooting some other guy who was a member of this right-wing thing? Do you remember that?

Andrew Santino 28:06 Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.

Joe Rogan 28:07 Right.

Andrew Santino 28:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:07 And then there's this lady, just fat lady, like, you know, n- no respect for her body, in the m- middle of the street going, "I don't give a damn if some fascist was killed tonight." Like, is that where we're at?

Andrew Santino 28:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:21 Is that where we're at?

Andrew Santino 28:22 What does it-

Joe Rogan 28:22 He doesn't wanna talk to this person.

Andrew Santino 28:23 What does that even mean? I don't understand.

Joe Rogan 28:24 It doesn't mean anything.

Narrator 28:25 Yeah, it means nothing.

Joe Rogan 28:25 It's, 'cause it's nonsense 'cause you're being a fascist-

Andrew Santino 28:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:27 ... by, by your own actions and ju- all, all the things you're doing.

Andrew Santino 28:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:30 Justifying murder, th- your own actions.

Andrew Santino 28:32 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:32 This, this whole thing. Lighting other people's property on fire, smashing windows, pretending that Apple, like the Apple store is the cause of your problems. Apple has literally supported all these organizations. They, they've literally said they support all these social justice organizations. Apple's, like, a super progressive institution. They're very progressive.

Andrew Santino 28:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:52 They're not the fucking man.

Andrew Santino 28:53 They're the enemy.

Joe Rogan 28:53 They're providing you with great electronics.

Andrew Santino 28:56 But then people see it as any form of capitalism.

Joe Rogan 28:58 Yes.

Andrew Santino 28:58 Any form of capital growth and you're, then they're bad.

Joe Rogan 29:00 Right. Anyone who's doing better than you-

Andrew Santino 29:02 Is bad.

Joe Rogan 29:02 It's like you're playing a game and you can't win, so you unplug it and you light the board on fire.

Andrew Santino 29:06 I'm taking my ball home.

Joe Rogan 29:07 Yeah, take your board home.

Andrew Santino 29:09 But you didn't even buy that ball.

Joe Rogan 29:10 But finally the mayor of Portland's coming around and he's-

Andrew Santino 29:13 He's realizing how... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:14 Oh, yeah. He's doing press conferences. It's like, "We have to arrest these fucking people." The, the mayor of Portland is telling people to snitch. He's like, "If you see people getting out of a car and they're all dressed in black, get the license plate."

Andrew Santino 29:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:25 "Get it to the police." Meanwhile, we defunded the police. Shit.

Andrew Santino 29:28 (laughs) Oh, fuck. Where do we go?

Joe Rogan 29:31 Shit.

Andrew Santino 29:32 Now that's a... That whole thing just g- is pure kit.

Joe Rogan 29:34 Look at this.

Andrew Santino 29:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:35 Portland mayor asks residents to help unmask people behind violent protests. Cut to 24 months from now, assassination squads, they hire Blackwater to go and fucking gun down these people.

Andrew Santino 29:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:47 It just takes time.

Andrew Santino 29:48 Fly 'em in.

Joe Rogan 29:49 It's, like, steps, it's many steps before-

Andrew Santino 29:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:51 There's, there's a re- like, when you look at these foreign governments that hire these mercenary crews to come in and get rid of dissonance, like, what do you think they're doing? What do you think they're doing? They're trying to get rid of the people that are fucking with them. This is what's happening in Portland. Someone's fuck... And so he's using the legal method now. Right now he's saying, "Well, we're just gonna, we're gonna get the police and we're gonna re-" You defunded the fucking police.

Andrew Santino 30:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:14 You defaced-... you demoralize them!

Andrew Santino 30:18 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:18 And now you need them.

Andrew Santino 30:19 Now you want 'em.

Joe Rogan 30:20 And listen, man, every time there's a video of the cops being cunts and treating someone like shit, I'm furious.

Andrew Santino 30:26 We all are.

Joe Rogan 30:26 There's a video on D.L. Hughley's page today of some piece-of-shit cop talking to these really cool Black guys who are friendly with him and they, the, these, these guys shake their hand and he's like, "I don't know you. I've never seen you around." And the guy's being an asshole. He's like, he goes, uh, "This is my city." Like, he, the guy literally says this. So, he's just a cop who's just an asshole. You don't even wanna... You don't even need to see this, but go see it if you want to.

Andrew Santino 30:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:49 But it's just a guy who's a dick. And he's being a dick to some guys who were being pretty friendly with him.

Andrew Santino 30:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:55 Whereas another cop would be like, "What's up, gentlemen? How we doing today?"

Andrew Santino 30:58 "What's going on?" Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:59 And everybody would be all right. You know what I mean? Like-

Andrew Santino 31:01 The, the pro- the problem is there's, there's, this, there's... The problem that I have that I see all the time is, uh, there are these cops that have always existed, that will always exist, that, by the way, for people that don't believe in this kind of shit, that are like, "Ah, this is, ah, it's fine," they've been talking about this for years. I mean, Fuck The Police was a real anthem. They were s-

Joe Rogan 31:21 Coming straight from the underground.

Andrew Santino 31:22 They were saying it 'cause they meant it.

Joe Rogan 31:23 Yes!

Andrew Santino 31:23 Not 'cause it was fucking for, for selling records. They meant that shit.

Joe Rogan 31:27 Yes!

Andrew Santino 31:27 When they were saying, "These, these guys won't stop fucking with us," the reality is, there's assholes in everything, right? And the cops get empowered. So, a lot of guys that are assholes that are cops, which is not all cops, obviously, these guys, they, they're, they've been empowered for so long to treat people the way they've treated them, so they get more and more and more because that's okay.

Joe Rogan 31:47 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 31:47 For... That's okay for them. It's like, this is how they have to deal with people, so they find it to be okay. The problem is, I wish there was more videos of good-ass fucking g- good cops doing good shit-

Joe Rogan 31:58 Yes.

Andrew Santino 31:59 ... helping community.

Joe Rogan 31:59 And there's a lot of them out there.

Andrew Santino 32:01 Sure!

Joe Rogan 32:01 You know, there's a great video from Flint last year during the George Floyd protests where this one cop says, "Hey, we're gonna walk with you guys."

Andrew Santino 32:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:09 You know, he says, "We're with you." You know, "We don't, we don't advocate for police brutality and we're with you." And they all hug each other.

Andrew Santino 32:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:16 And it's fucking fantastic.

Andrew Santino 32:17 We need more of that shit.

Joe Rogan 32:18 I mean, they all, they all walk together. The... You know what, man? Cops dealing with crime is like, let's say you have a forest filled with dry old trees that would light on fire easily, and you say, "H- well, how we gonna take care of these forest fires? Here's a garden hose." (claps) Good luck.

Andrew Santino 32:35 Yeah. (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 32:36 That's what it's like. They're like, no, no, no, the thing is the dry trees. The thing is the, the conditions. The thing is climate change. The thing is, like, what is causing the fires?

Andrew Santino 32:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:44 That, that's the thing. The thing is not a fucking garden hose, right? So, these cops are left in this unthankful position. If you're a cop and you are working in any, any place that's got a high crime area, it's like, you kind of reach a point of futility after a while where you realize you're not gonna fix this. You're not gonna make a real impact in the community. You just wanna survive and get home to your family.

Andrew Santino 33:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:04 And I think they get jaded.

Andrew Santino 33:06 Of course they do. I mean, I have cops in my family. It's just, the problem is, it's so easy to, to throw out the word racist. That's like an easy thing to say. And that, you know, that, like you said, that all the LAPD is all racist. You can look up the stats on it, and I think it's like 70%, 60-something percent of the cops in LA are Latino. So, it's like, there's this idea that like, all cops are white racist bigots, and you're like, "That's a, that's not, that k- that's not real." But it just gets skewed down by this, the loud, loud people going, "Every cop is a racist piece of shit."

Joe Rogan 33:34 Well, here's why. Every racist cop is a racist.

Andrew Santino 33:38 (laughs) Yeah, of course! Of course!

Joe Rogan 33:40 (laughs) So, if you run into them-

Andrew Santino 33:41 Of course!

Joe Rogan 33:41 ... you're like, "Goddammit, another one!"

Andrew Santino 33:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:43 "They're all racist!"

Andrew Santino 33:45 (laughs) But I mean, that's the thing, it's like-

Joe Rogan 33:46 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 33:46 ... there's, there's, there's so m- there, there's so many other people that work in law enforcement, friends and family, people that I know, that are really good people. They're just trying to help a fucking community. And I don't know what the incentive for them to stay is. If I'm a cop, I don't know what the incentive is anymore. I'm scared of getting shot at just because I am a cop.

Joe Rogan 34:02 Of course.

Andrew Santino 34:02 I'm scared to fuck ... I'm, I'm scared to really do my job, quote-unquote, whatever that's become now, because I don't know what's okay and what's not okay, right? You could follow protocol, but y- any cop will tell you, there's a way that they deal with relationships in communities that we don't know about because it's not in the handbook.

Joe Rogan 34:18 Right.

Andrew Santino 34:18 Right? So, I, there, there's so many more m- there's so many misnomers in how these relationships and, co-exist, but to blanket it all and be like, "Every cop's a piece of shit, every cop is racist," what's that? ACAB, All Cops Are Bad. You're like, what ab- st- you can't say that about anything. You can't say all, everything is everything.

Joe Rogan 34:34 But when you're accustomed... If you grow up in a community that's riddled with crime and gangs and drugs and violence, and you're accustomed to cops being cunts, then you feel like you have to say that-

Andrew Santino 34:44 I get that.

Joe Rogan 34:45 ... because all the interactions you've had with cops are negative.

Andrew Santino 34:47 Have been bad.

Joe Rogan 34:47 Yeah, it's like fool me once, shame on you.

Andrew Santino 34:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:51 Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 50,000 fucking times, like, "Jesus Christ, these cops are assholes."

Andrew Santino 34:57 Well, sure. And, uh, but also then, then th- it's also the community. Then we need to have a discussion over the s- the systemic issues and the community issues.

Joe Rogan 35:03 Yes.

Andrew Santino 35:03 Right. But those don't get addressed. It's not-

Joe Rogan 35:04 That's the root of the problem.

Andrew Santino 35:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:06 The root of the problem is, unlike you or me, some people grow up in the worst fucking neighborhoods on Earth.

Andrew Santino 35:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:13 And there's no effort whatsoever on a federal level to eradicate that.

Andrew Santino 35:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:18 To fix that. To make these places safer, to make these places more, more comfortable for these people. What, what we have to do is figure out, well, why are these neighborhoods, whether it's the South Side of Chicago or whether it's Baltimore or Detroit or whate-

Andrew Santino 35:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:32 You take the most fucked-up neighborhoods in our country and go, "Why are they still like this and how come we haven't fixed that?"

Andrew Santino 35:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:39 I said it before, I'll say it again. You wanna make America great again? Air quotes. Fix the neighborhoods that are fucked. Make it, make it-

Andrew Santino 35:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:47 ... so we have less losers. Like, what makes a loser? Well, one of the things that makes a loser is you, you get a... Like, if one person gets four aces and the other person gets two cards and they're both ones, or it's a one and a two, you ain't doing shit with that, right?

Andrew Santino 36:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:01 You can't win. It's not fair.

Andrew Santino 36:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:03 It's not fair.

Andrew Santino 36:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:04 And that's the reality of birth in this country. Now, some people that have, that got given a shitty deck of cards also have, like, maybe some talent in music or some talent in comedy or some talent in athletics, and they figure their way through. But for every person that figures their way through, what... You know what it's like, man? Remember open mic night?

Andrew Santino 36:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:24 Remember when you first started?

Andrew Santino 36:25 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:26 How many fucking people made it outta there?

Andrew Santino 36:27 (sighs) Oh, I mean, two.

Joe Rogan 36:30 Two?

Andrew Santino 36:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:30 Three?

Andrew Santino 36:31 Three. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:31 Outta what? Hundreds-

Andrew Santino 36:32 Hundreds.

Joe Rogan 36:32 ... and hundreds of people?

Andrew Santino 36:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:34 Yeah. Well, multiply that times, like, what the fuck ever, thousands.

Andrew Santino 36:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:38 That's what it's like growing up in a terrible neighborhood. For every one person that gets out and becomes, uh, some sort of an NFL superstar or some rapper or a comic, how many of them fall into a life of crime and-

Andrew Santino 36:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:49 ... wind up g- being incarcerated? How many of them wind up falling into this trap that they can't get out of?

Andrew Santino 36:55 Right. Well, because it, because it's so difficult to get out-

Joe Rogan 36:58 Yes.

Andrew Santino 36:58 ... and even when you do get chances to get out-

Joe Rogan 37:00 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 37:01 ... the, i- it's still gonna eat you alive.

Joe Rogan 37:03 Exactly.

Andrew Santino 37:03 'Cause, I mean, you know more than anybody knows, money is power and money is scary and money can change you and money is vulnerable. Money makes you more vulnerable. More, like, so when you have no money and you get a little bit of money, that can also fuck you up just as bad. It's, that, it's a scary thing because you've never d- had money before. That's why the NFL, the NBA, and all these places, they're trying to have these programs at a younger age to teach these kids not to go fucking throw away the money 'cause, uh, th- there's no guarantee over that shit at some point.

Joe Rogan 37:33 Well, the NBA has less of a problem than the NFL, in my opinion, 'cause the NFL also has head injuries.

Andrew Santino 37:39 Well, yeah, there's a... Yeah, right. There's no-

Joe Rogan 37:40 And head injuries make you really impulsive. They make you wild.

Andrew Santino 37:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:43 (laughs) It's-

Andrew Santino 37:44 Well, those are trained killers. Those guys are fucking killers, man.

Joe Rogan 37:46 They are killers, just like fighters are killers-

Andrew Santino 37:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:48 ... but they're also, like fighters, they get head injuries.

Andrew Santino 37:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:51 And head injuries make you wild. They make you impulsive. No one knows why, but they, they, they, it's one of the side effects.

Andrew Santino 37:57 Well, they're just, they're, they're trying, the NFL's trying to do its best. I mean, I have so many fucking issues with the NFL, but, you know, optics alone. You know, like, I have friends that are, uh, in the NFL, and, like, my beef is their optics were so important to them, but I... But it was not based on any belief system.

Joe Rogan 38:11 What do you mean by optics? What's-

Andrew Santino 38:13 You know, like wearing... They made the coaches wear masks on the side of the field, but not in the locker room. And you're like, "What are you guys doing? What, who is that for?"

Joe Rogan 38:19 Well-

Andrew Santino 38:19 I just didn't bo-... So, so to me-

Joe Rogan 38:21 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 38:21 ... they care so much about the viewpoint of things.

Joe Rogan 38:24 But everybody has to do that.

Andrew Santino 38:25 Yeah, but, but, but, but, but-

Joe Rogan 38:26 They do that because it's, uh-

Andrew Santino 38:27 Well, it was, it w- but it was the same problem.

Joe Rogan 38:28 ... it's a giant organization.

Andrew Santino 38:29 But I know, but it's bullshit. That was the same problem with them taking a fucking-

Joe Rogan 38:31 We'll touch base-

Andrew Santino 38:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:32 We'll touch base-

Andrew Santino 38:32 That was the same problem with, uh, what is it called? What? You know, kneeling during the anthem that they had a big fucking deal with.

Joe Rogan 38:37 Damn.

Andrew Santino 38:37 It was just such a crock of shit.

Joe Rogan 38:39 Well-

Andrew Santino 38:39 They don't really fucking care.

Joe Rogan 38:41 My take on that was, like, isn't knee-

Andrew Santino 38:43 Cheers. (slurps)

Joe Rogan 38:43 Cheers, my brother. My take on that when I was talking to Ben Shapiro... (slurps)

Andrew Santino 38:47 I'm super supportive of taking a fucking knee.

Joe Rogan 38:49 Yeah, this is what I said. I said, "Isn't that more respectful than standing there?"

Andrew Santino 38:53 It's the most American thing. The, the, one of the-

Joe Rogan 38:55 Taking a knee is, like, it's more respectful.

Andrew Santino 38:58 One of the rights of the fucking flag, you can look it up, is the right to protest the flag. So they fight for the right to protest our flag.

Joe Rogan 39:04 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 39:04 That's our greatest thing about this country, is you can disagree with your fucking government. You can say, "I don't believe in certain things. I need to have my voice heard." Right? So they take a fucking knee to have their voice heard to go-

Joe Rogan 39:14 But here's my-

Andrew Santino 39:15 ... "I'm against something."

Joe Rogan 39:15 But here's... My take is it's not disrespectful.

Andrew Santino 39:18 No.

Joe Rogan 39:18 Because you, you are literally doing something more respectful to put attention on police brutality.

Andrew Santino 39:24 Sure.

Joe Rogan 39:25 So instead of, like, going, d- doing this-

Andrew Santino 39:27 Right, like this.

Joe Rogan 39:28 ... like a double Nate Diaz-

Andrew Santino 39:29 (laughs) Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 39:29 ... in the middle of, like, the, the flag.

Andrew Santino 39:32 (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 39:32 Instead of that, they get to take a knee.

Andrew Santino 39:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:35 I think it's more respectful.

Andrew Santino 39:36 It's a silent protest.

Joe Rogan 39:37 It's not just a silent protest, it's more respectful, and it actually does achieve its goal.

Andrew Santino 39:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:43 Like, think about what, w- you know, whatever you say about Colin Kaepernick as an athlete or what he did. What that guy did, for sure, was highlight this ability to protest and make people even more aware that these athletes were talking about it.

Andrew Santino 40:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:00 That these pro NFL athletes, top of the food chain athletes, were talking about police brutality and he decided to do something about it.

Andrew Santino 40:08 Yeah, it was important. And I, uh, by the way, this will always go down in history with athletes that do take public stands against things, right?

Joe Rogan 40:14 Sure. Fucking-

Andrew Santino 40:14 I mean, Muhammad Ali, Muhammad Ali was-

Joe Rogan 40:17 ... at the Olympics when those dudes-

Andrew Santino 40:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:18 ... held their fists up.

Andrew Santino 40:19 Right. 'Cause they beli-... And by the way, now that's looked at i- in such a glorified fashion.

Joe Rogan 40:22 Exactly.

Andrew Santino 40:23 It, it, you know, it was controversial at the time. Ali was the same way. How much shit did he get tr- uh, you know, tr- trying to be a part of this, the Civil Rights movement and people just fucking hated him for changing his name and-

Joe Rogan 40:34 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 40:34 ... he got all this shit for that. Now you look at him as a hero to a community that was... He gave people a fucking voice.

Joe Rogan 40:39 Exactly.

Andrew Santino 40:40 We just need to, you know-

Joe Rogan 40:41 My, my parents were hippies.

Andrew Santino 40:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:42 You know? And when I was a kid, they didn't watch sports, but they wanted to watch Muhammad Ali when he defended his title agai-... No, excuse me. When, when he tried to regain his title against Leon Spinks. When Leon Spinks had beaten Muhammad Ali and then Muhammad Ali had a rematch with R- Leon Spinks, my parents wanted to watch.

Andrew Santino 41:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:01 And they, they... I was like... I don't remember how old I was. It was... I was like... It w- it had to be between seven and 11 'cause we were living in San Francisco. And, uh, they wanted to watch- and I was, I was, I remember thinking, like, "This is crazy. My parents wanna watch boxing?"

Andrew Santino 41:14 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:15 But, but it was because Muhammad Ali, he had eclipsed boxing. He had gone past that and became this cultural voice.

Andrew Santino 41:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:24 He became this, this icon of l- of, of, uh, he c- became a guy who stood up and said, "I don't think this war is just, and I'm not gonna participate and I'm gonna make a real sacrifice where I'm gonna lose my career for three fucking years."

Andrew Santino 41:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:40 So he, he didn't fight at all for three years. And when he came back, if you watch his fights when he came back, if you... He, um, he fought against, uh, I think Cleveland "Big Cat" Williams was his fight, the last fight that he had in '67. And then in 1970 when he came back, I think it was Jerry Quarry. Was that his, um, return bout?

Andrew Santino 42:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:02 I think it was Jerry Quarry.

Andrew Santino 42:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:03 But he, he didn't look good. He looked like... His body looked so-... He hadn't trained at all.

Andrew Santino 42:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:09 He didn't train at all for three fucking years. So he went from being literally one of the slickest, fastest boxers the heavyweight division had ever seen to no training at all for three years. Then his style changed 'cause he just, he just didn't have the ability anymore.

Andrew Santino 42:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:22 Because for three fucking years, he did nothing.And then he came back and he started fighting, and he just ... He was never the same guy. When you go back-

Andrew Santino 42:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:30 ... to his fights against Cleveland Big Cat Williams, bro, he was so fast. He knocked Cleveland Williams out, he was, like, moving backwards when he KO'd him. And he was just so, it's so unusual. Like, no one had seen anyth- ... And he was shredded.

Andrew Santino 42:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:45 And then when he came back, it was like three years of his life were gone, man. He was just s- so busy trying to avoid being locked in a cage and trying to express himself and trying to get out the message that no Viet Cong ever did anything to me. He's like, "Why am I g- why am I supposed to go over there and kill these people? You wanna, you wanna use me as some sort of a publicity tool to go over there and fight in a war? It doesn't make any sense. I'm not doing that shit."

Andrew Santino 43:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:08 And my parents were all in. And that's, that's how much of an icon he was.

Andrew Santino 43:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:13 My parents don't give a fuck about fighting. My parents never saw me fight once. I probably had, like, 100 fights when I was a kid.

Andrew Santino 43:19 Never once?

Joe Rogan 43:20 Never once.

Andrew Santino 43:21 'Cause they hated the sport?

Joe Rogan 43:21 They were like, "What are you doing?"

Andrew Santino 43:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:24 I remember I showed them a video of me kicking someone in the face and they were like, "What are you doing?"

Andrew Santino 43:28 Yeah, but you do kick fucking hard.

Joe Rogan 43:29 Yeah, but that's not even it. Like, they didn't even go to watch.

Andrew Santino 43:32 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:32 Like, they, they w- you know, they didn't tell me I couldn't do it, which was great. I was happy. I didn't even want them to come see me, because it was so different from them, what they are.

Andrew Santino 43:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:42 You know? I didn't... I was worried they were gonna say, "You can't do that." I was like, "God, I gotta leave home."

Andrew Santino 43:46 When you transitioned into standup, did that become a more palatable thing for them?

Joe Rogan 43:50 No, they thought it was gonna be terrible. My mother didn't think I was funny at all. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 43:53 Really? (laughs) Did your mom ever say that you were funny?

Joe Rogan 43:56 No.

Andrew Santino 43:56 Has she ever said you're funny?

Joe Rogan 43:57 Well, she knows I'm funny now.

Andrew Santino 43:58 No, no, no.

Joe Rogan 43:59 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 44:00 She knows ... People think you're funny.

Joe Rogan 44:01 Oh, yeah. She's coming to my shows.

Andrew Santino 44:01 Does she think you're funny?

Joe Rogan 44:02 Yes. She's coming to my shows.

Andrew Santino 44:03 'Cause that's a big moment.

Joe Rogan 44:04 "That was really funny." Yeah.

Andrew Santino 44:05 But you know, the, the moment that, like, changed my life emotionally was my mom, uh, said to me one day, she goes ... Like, my first album that I ever made. And she was like, she repeated a joke back to me out of the blue. And I was like, "What is, what is that?" She's like, "That's from your album. Your first album. I listen to it in the car sometimes." And I'm like-

Joe Rogan 44:22 That's hilarious.

Andrew Santino 44:23 "Oh, fuck." It, like, changed my life, 'cause I was like, it-

Joe Rogan 44:25 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 44:26 Y- you know, look, I, I never cared if my parents liked my standup. That was never why I ... I, I was never like, "What if they don't like it? What if ... Uh, what if my family thinks I'm..."

Joe Rogan 44:33 Right.

Andrew Santino 44:33 I didn't care. But just to hear my mom go, "I like listening to it sometimes. I think it's really funny."

Joe Rogan 44:39 Aw.

Andrew Santino 44:40 It's a fu- ... It's, like, a moment in your life where you're like, "Well, fuck."

Joe Rogan 44:43 Imagine too, if, like, you made a person, and that person is making you laugh while you're driving down the road.

Andrew Santino 44:47 That's fucking weird.

Joe Rogan 44:48 That's weird.

Andrew Santino 44:48 Yeah, that's wild.

Joe Rogan 44:49 It's wild.

Andrew Santino 44:49 So, any time... Any, any parent of someone who's ... Has any sort of impressive public skillset, that has to feel surreal. I mean, my, my parents kind of sometimes don't get it that I'm doing this too. It doesn't really ... They know it. They understand it, but even still, you know, it doesn't really register. Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 45:07 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:07 Like, I, it doesn't, like ... They get it, but they're also like ... If someone comes up to me and they're like, "Santino, big fan," my dad's always like, "Well, fucking look at that shit." Like, he, he ... It's almost like he's like ... (laughs) He's like-

Joe Rogan 45:18 (laughs) What are the odds?

Andrew Santino 45:19 He goes, "How does that guy fucking ... How does that guy know you?" And I'm like, "Oh, he saw me on something." He goes, "Oh. Okay."

Joe Rogan 45:24 It ... Like, crazy.

Andrew Santino 45:24 It doesn't land yet, 'cause it doesn't really-

Joe Rogan 45:26 Right.

Andrew Santino 45:26 'Cause in my dad's mind, it's like, Clint Eastwood gets people to say hi to him.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:29 Not you.

Joe Rogan 45:30 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:31 You're a clown goofball.

Joe Rogan 45:32 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:32 You're not a real, like, a star thing. I'm like, "No, but some people know who I am." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 45:37 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:37 Like, I, I think it's just cool to watch them see it sometimes, 'cause my, my, my dad is always like, "This guy fucking... He knows you. He's looking at... He knows you." And I'm like, "Yeah, no. I know, Dad. I know." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:47 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 45:48 He likes it. He, it ... He thinks it's really fucking f- it's cool, it's, it's f- cool to watch them watch it.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Fame is like a wave. You know? You gotta learn-

Andrew Santino 45:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:55 ... how to ride it.

Andrew Santino 45:57 Well, mine's, mine's more like a ripple, but it's fine. I'll take the ... I'll-

Joe Rogan 45:59 But you know what I'm saying? Like-

Andrew Santino 46:00 It's a little board.

Joe Rogan 46:01 ... you learn how to ... If you just get on a surfboard-

Andrew Santino 46:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:04 ... you're not gonna learn how to ride that wave.

Andrew Santino 46:06 Nah.

Joe Rogan 46:06 You gotta relax and sort of let it happen, and know what it is.

Andrew Santino 46:10 That's why it takes people under a lot.

Joe Rogan 46:11 Ooh.

Andrew Santino 46:11 The undertow of fame is fucking heavy.

Joe Rogan 46:13 Good point.

Andrew Santino 46:13 You watch people-

Joe Rogan 46:15 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 46:15 We have friends-

Joe Rogan 46:16 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 46:16 ... that you see get big and you're like ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:17 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 46:18 Be careful, man, 'cause the wave will crash at some point.

Joe Rogan 46:21 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 46:21 And you're ... Get swallowed up.

Joe Rogan 46:23 Here's what I believe. I believe you have to have some sort of, uh, exterior struggle.

Andrew Santino 46:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:29 Some sort of outside struggle outside of the fame that you focus your energy on so that the fame seems like not that big a deal.

Andrew Santino 46:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 46:40 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 46:40 What's your outside struggle?

Joe Rogan 46:41 It's always been martial arts.

Andrew Santino 46:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 46:43 It's always been that. It's always been training. It's always been training or really hard working out. It's always been things that I know are way harder than dealing with the struggle of fame. Strug- struggle of fame is weird, but I also don't take ... As weird as it sounds, I don't, I don't take myself that seriously. I really don't.

Andrew Santino 47:01 How can you? That's the whole point.

Joe Rogan 47:02 Like, I, I understand who I am and I understand I have this very bizarre impact with this stupid fucking show.

Andrew Santino 47:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:07 But I, I don't, I don't take it seriously, like, where I'm like, "I have a message. I have an obligation." But occasionally, I do know s- ... Like, there's this book that I've been trying to get out to people, 'cause I, I, I talked about it on the podcast with Action Bronson, I put it up on my Instagram, and I legitimately do go to it every six months or so, and I think I'm gonna go to it all the time now. It's called The Four Agreements.

Andrew Santino 47:32 I saw you post that, yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:32 There's a new one, The Fifth Agreement, which is really good too, but I kind of already thought that way. I'm, I'm always been kind of skeptical, but I verify things, you know, just based on just doing this podcast and talking to crazy people.

Andrew Santino 47:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:45 But The Four Agreements are very ... They're really valid. Like, they really do hold up. And, and if ... I think that way, if I lock in and I really apply those to my everyday life, it has a giant impact on my happiness. And one of them is, "Be impeccable with your word." Be impeccable with your word. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. If you fucked up, tell the truth. If you, you believe something that other people don't, maybe don't see and it's gonna be controversial to say, tell the truth about your pros and cons and goods and bad... Tell the truth.

Andrew Santino 48:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:18 That's, that's one of them. Another one is, "Don't take things personally." I try not to take things personally. I really do. It's easy to. That's one... Like, when people dunk on you online and people shit on you, like, sometimes it's people that have been on my podcast, and I'll see them shitting on me online or someone will tell me about it and I'll go-If I see him, I'll give him a hug, you know?

Andrew Santino 48:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:38 I don't have time.

Andrew Santino 48:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:39 I don't have time, you know? I just like-

Andrew Santino 48:41 So tell the truth, don't take it personally.

Joe Rogan 48:43 Don't take it personally. Um, the third one... Well, there's, there's... Yeah. Uh, always do your best, but I think that's the fourth one. Um, what's the third one?

Narrator 48:55 No, sorry. I wasn't going to... I thought you-

Joe Rogan 48:57 I'm trying to remember. I always fuck one of them up.

Andrew Santino 48:59 He was putting a new hair tie in. He was not pay-

Narrator 49:00 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 49:01 ... he wasn't paying attention.

Narrator 49:01 Motherfucker.

Andrew Santino 49:02 Jamie.

Joe Rogan 49:02 He's putting one of those ones with the cloth, and it has a little metal piece.

Andrew Santino 49:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:06 You know what I mean?

Andrew Santino 49:06 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:06 The ones that girls have, and you twist it around.

Andrew Santino 49:09 You know, Jamie, when I come in here, you know how much I love you.

Narrator 49:11 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 49:11 And that's why I like talking to you too, because honestly, you... That... You smacking that fucking gum is just hilarious.

Joe Rogan 49:17 What is it?

Narrator 49:17 I'm mad at my shoes is what I'm mad at.

Andrew Santino 49:19 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:19 What is the other one?

Andrew Santino 49:19 I saw y- I know, I saw your kicks. I saw his fucking 11.

Narrator 49:22 Can't, can't get these, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:22 What's the other one?

Narrator 49:23 What? The f-

Andrew Santino 49:25 The oth- the, the fourth, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:26 Oh, you put them up there.

Andrew Santino 49:27 The impeccable...

Joe Rogan 49:27 Don't make assumptions.

Andrew Santino 49:28 Don't make assumptions.

Joe Rogan 49:28 That's it, that's it. Don't s- don't make assumptions. That's a good one too.

Andrew Santino 49:31 Those are four powerful, very r- That's the thing about all this stuff al- whenever I read it, I'm always like, "Oh, this makes perfect fucking sense."

Joe Rogan 49:37 It's so good, dude. It is literally the best tools for managing your mindset that I've ever encountered in my life. And the guy... If you get the audiobook, Peter Coyote reads it, who's a amazing actor and has a beautiful voice.

Andrew Santino 49:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:51 And when he's reading it, it's like it's so perfect and sincere. It's so good.

Andrew Santino 49:56 It's always simple shit like that. Like, I'm reading... I know to you this is fucking dogshit, but Jamie might like it. There's a book called Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect, and it's-

Joe Rogan 50:04 No, I get it. It applies to pool.

Andrew Santino 50:05 By the way, it applies to everything. When I got it, uh, uh, this caddy gave it to me at this golf course. He was like, "I have a book for you," because I was struggling. I was like going... I, I couldn't... I was playing terrible golf, and I was like getting annoyed. And he's like, "What's going on in your, in your life right now?" "Well, just I'm balancing a bunch of bullshit." He goes, "Do me a favor, read this book, but read it in... Just read it. Rip through it. It's like 100 pages."

Joe Rogan 50:25 Hmm.

Andrew Santino 50:25 He's like, "You'll tear through it." So I read it, and I got to tell you, I was like, "Fuck, it's just simple principles that are not about golf, really. It's about life."

Joe Rogan 50:34 Like Zen And The Art Of Archery.

Andrew Santino 50:36 100%. It's, it's almost the exact same.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 50:38 It's, it's the philosophy of this guy who wrote the book. He's basically saying... Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect is just saying nothing is perfect in life. Trying to make things perfect is the foolish mistake. It's trying to manage things as they are and as they come. So in golf, it's when you hit a bad shot, you have to learn how to just get rid of that forever. It can't be the thing you think about next time.

Joe Rogan 50:59 Right.

Andrew Santino 50:59 Same thing in jujitsu.

Joe Rogan 51:00 Right.

Andrew Santino 51:00 Same thing in pool.

Joe Rogan 51:01 Right.

Andrew Santino 51:01 You cannot harbor, "Fuck, why did I fuck up the first take-down? Why did I fuck up the first throw?"

Joe Rogan 51:06 Right.

Andrew Santino 51:07 It's got to be gone.

Joe Rogan 51:08 Yes.

Andrew Santino 51:08 So good minds, best golfers are able to just woof, and disappear that stuff.

Joe Rogan 51:12 Yes.

Andrew Santino 51:13 So it's teaching you these philosophies in life that you can use as far as like when something negative happens to you, when somebody says some fucked up shit to you, when... Don't take it personally. How do you... How do you learn to just woof, throw that away-

Joe Rogan 51:24 Right.

Andrew Santino 51:24 ... and move forward? It's a super positive book. I really recommend it if you're any kind of athlete. But if you're trying to play golf, he talks in there often about other athletics. Talks about football and basketball. And he's coached a lot of people over the years, and the one thing he says is the best athletes he's ever met in his life are so good at moving forward and even getting more confident after doing something poorly.

Joe Rogan 51:45 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 51:45 He's like-

Joe Rogan 51:46 Because they know they can do better.

Andrew Santino 51:47 Right, which is such an impressive skill.

Joe Rogan 51:48 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 51:48 Your average human, me, every time you do something bad, it's a struggle to get over the fuck up.

Joe Rogan 51:53 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 51:54 But he's like, "The best athletes, it's remarkable how their brain works. They're trying to re-figure out how to do the next best thing better." They're not even remembering they fucked up.

Joe Rogan 52:03 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 52:03 It's like gone already.

Joe Rogan 52:04 Because they're task-oriented.

Andrew Santino 52:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 52:06 They're concentrating on what they're trying to do, r- rather than concentrated on their image.

Andrew Santino 52:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 52:11 They're concentrating on what people think of them or concentrating on how they, you know, how they appear.

Andrew Santino 52:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 52:18 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 52:18 All that shit's bullshit.

Joe Rogan 52:19 Instead, instead of that, just concentrate on what you're trying to do. And when you make a mistake, one of the good things about mistakes, especially embarrassing and humiliating mistakes, is they empower you to do better, because they... You... That feeling of sucking.

Andrew Santino 52:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:31 It's why bombing is so important.

Andrew Santino 52:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:33 So crucial.

Andrew Santino 52:33 And it's so hard. (laughs) It's just... (laughs) It's so hard.

Joe Rogan 52:36 (laughs) But it's so good for you.

Andrew Santino 52:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:38 It's so good for you, because when you do bomb, you learn like, "Oh my God, what did I do wrong? I don't ever want to feel that fucking terrible pain again."

Andrew Santino 52:44 The first time I followed Diaz. The first time I followed Diaz in the OR, I was... You know, it was like the best spot I had gotten in, in years, you know, because I got, I got, I got regular status in '010 or '10... '09 or 2010.

Joe Rogan 52:57 You want a cigar?

Andrew Santino 52:58 No, I don't smoke cigars. You know that, man.

Joe Rogan 53:00 Really? You do?

Andrew Santino 53:00 I can't. It just looks like a penis to me. I can't do the-

Joe Rogan 53:02 It doesn't look like a penis. It looks like a cigar.

Andrew Santino 53:03 I know. To me. To me. 'Cause I... Because of my past.

Joe Rogan 53:06 Got to let that go.

Andrew Santino 53:06 Because of my past.

Joe Rogan 53:07 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 53:09 (laughs) When I followed Diaz, bro, I bombed so bad in the OR. And Joey was pumping me up afterwards and was so fucking nice to me, 'cause he knew. Like he knew that I was bummed about it, and he was like, "Oh, fuck these cocksuckers. This room was whack tonight." And I was like, "Fuck you." He lit the room on fire. You know what I mean? But he was so nice about it that it just kind of like... It helped. It helped get over the pain of how hard I fucking ate shit in the OR. I mean, it was just so tough to follow him at the time. And then you learn. Then I learned. Then I followed Diaz a few times, and it was no big deal.

Joe Rogan 53:41 You're gonna eat shit if you keep trying new jokes.

Andrew Santino 53:44 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:44 It's just... It's just-

Andrew Santino 53:45 That's what... That... What you said at the end matters.

Joe Rogan 53:47 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 53:47 If you're trying new shit.

Joe Rogan 53:48 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 53:48 People... There are some people who never try new shit.

Joe Rogan 53:50 I was talking to a buddy of mine who takes, uh, this guy on the road with him, or was taking this guy on the road with him for a while. And I said, "Hey, how's that guy doing?" He goes, "I had to stop using him. Kept doing the same fucking jokes."

Andrew Santino 54:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:01 But some guys, when you take them on the road with you, one of the things that happens is they stop doing other sets. So like say they go on the road with you and they're doing, you know, fucking Zanies in Nashville.

Andrew Santino 54:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:11 They're doing the Improv in Chicago. They're doing these nice clubs. And then they come back, and they don't want to put in for a Tuesday night. They don't want to put in-

Andrew Santino 54:18 Fucking lazy.

Joe Rogan 54:18 Yeah, they're lazy.

Andrew Santino 54:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:19 They're lazy. And those are the guys, they develop a little bit of an act. I've had a few of those guys that I had to cut loose, and they kept trying to go back on the road with me. I'm like, "Hey, motherfucker. I saw you on the OR like a month ago, and you were doing some shit you did on the road with me seven years ago."

Andrew Santino 54:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:34 "So, no."

Andrew Santino 54:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:35 "So, no."

Andrew Santino 54:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:36 You know? And that's-

Andrew Santino 54:37 You... Are you talking to me, Joe?

Joe Rogan 54:38 No.

Andrew Santino 54:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:38 No, I love you.

Andrew Santino 54:39 No, I'm kidding.

Joe Rogan 54:40 No, not you at all.

Andrew Santino 54:40 The guy that I have with me, this guy that I brought, Chris O'Connor, who opens for me, who, you know... He's a great comic. It's like, it's hard for me to say that when I'm like, "Oh, he features with me." He's a headlining comic of his own right. But he always has new stuff. And I think what I appreciated about when I would come out with you was, you never were somebody... First of all, you were never a clock-watcher, which I'm always so nervous about. I'm like, "I gotta get off." And one time I got off and you were like, "What the fuck are you doing?" And I was like... It was, like, 30 on the nose. You were like, "Fucking what are you do..." Like, you- you didn't expect me to come off. You were like, "Why didn't you just fucking keep going and close, and close as strong as you could?" And I was like, "I just wanna get the fuck off stage." You were always being promotional of us, me, Tony, Ian.

Joe Rogan 55:18 Oh, no, I remember that. You looked at the clock, you were like, "Oh, I gotta get outta here." I'm like, "What are you... Get-fucking close!"

Andrew Santino 55:23 Yeah, I know. Well, 'cause I was like, "Get the fuck off-

Joe Rogan 55:25 No.

Andrew Santino 55:25 ... they're here for Joe." But you were promotional-

Joe Rogan 55:27 No.

Andrew Santino 55:27 ... always of us of being like, "Go out there and fucking smash." And- and when he's killing in front of me, makes me feel fucking more empowered to go kill. It was like, "Oh, dude, he's killing." It feels good when someone you are working with is smashing 'cause they're doing-

Joe Rogan 55:40 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 55:40 ... stuff you haven't seen before, and it's new and it's powerful. And you're like, "Holy fuck." It makes you feel like you're in this realm of great comedy, and you're bound to do well, like you're bound to do a better show then.

Joe Rogan 55:51 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 55:52 Instead of, there's guys that we both know that take out fucking people that struggle, and you're like, "Why are you taking out someone that's not writing new jokes or not-"

Joe Rogan 55:59 'Cause they wanna be a hero.

Andrew Santino 56:00 Nah, it's not worth it.

Joe Rogan 56:02 It's not, it's not the right way to do it. It's a coward's way out.

Andrew Santino 56:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:04 It's not... You know, I've taken guys on the road with me that didn't do good, but I was hoping they did good. It's like-

Andrew Santino 56:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 56:10 ... I was giving them chances. I wasn't taking them on the road because I thought they sucked, I was taking them on the road 'cause I saw them have great sets. But sometimes, those bright lights and thousands of people are like (gasps) .

Andrew Santino 56:21 It'll fuck you up.

Joe Rogan 56:21 Like, do you remember the first time you did an arena?

Andrew Santino 56:23 With you? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:24 Do you remember that feeling?

Andrew Santino 56:25 100%. I can't for-

Joe Rogan 56:26 You-

Andrew Santino 56:26 I can't forget it, man.

Joe Rogan 56:27 You walk out there, you're like, "Jesus, fuck."

Andrew Santino 56:30 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:30 "There's so many people here." (laughs)

Andrew Santino 56:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:32 "There's so many people here."

Andrew Santino 56:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:34 "It's so cra-" But then you get into a rhythm, and y- and then they start laughing, and you're like, "The loud... The laughter's so loud."

Andrew Santino 56:40 Yeah, when we did San Diego-

Joe Rogan 56:41 So crazy.

Andrew Santino 56:41 ... did you get San Diego? Yeah, San Diego-

Joe Rogan 56:43 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 56:43 ... in the round-

Joe Rogan 56:43 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 56:44 ... on 4/20. I remember stepping on the stage and feeling about a half a second of, "Oh, fuck, I'm overwhelmed."

Joe Rogan 56:51 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 56:51 Like a half a second of, "Oh, shit, this is too much." And then once you go, you're like, "All right, I'm good." It just, like, you shed all this shit off of your body. It's like taking off a bunch of armor and you're like-

Joe Rogan 57:00 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 57:00 ... "I'm good." I get out there 'cause you're kinda... You're tense and you're- you're like, "Oh, I'd have to fucking take on all these motherfuckers." And then as soon as you take off the armor, you're like, "Come on, man, I'm here to fucking entertain."

Joe Rogan 57:07 You just gotta be who you are.

Andrew Santino 57:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:09 You know? Who you are in front of 90 people is who you are in front of 19,000. It's the same thing.

Andrew Santino 57:14 Well, I gotta... I... This is, for me, it's curious, 'cause we, when we were going out together, you were, we were doing... I mean, we started, we were doing a bunch of theater, big ass theaters, and then we were doing arenas too. But then we started doing clubs. We came back here to Austin and did Cap City together, and did a bunch of shows, me, you, and Tony, and then Perez was with us too?

Joe Rogan 57:31 Yeah, George Perez was with us.

Andrew Santino 57:32 Yeah, George Perez.

Joe Rogan 57:32 Shout out to my boy George.

Andrew Santino 57:33 I fucking love him, bro.

Joe Rogan 57:34 I love George. I miss George. I miss a lot of people.

Andrew Santino 57:36 Me and hi- By the way, me and him were dying laughing at dinner when, uh, uh, J- Alex Jones showed up. And he- him and I, 'cause he was-

Joe Rogan 57:42 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 57:42 ... fuck, high as a fucking kite. Such a wild... I love George Perez.

Joe Rogan 57:47 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 57:47 But when we were here, when we were here, um, in Austin, that's... You were having the same feelings that we were talking about when you, when it was an arena or a theater. It was like, "Those are just as good."

Joe Rogan 57:57 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 57:58 "Those r- those rooms sometimes are just as powerful."

Joe Rogan 58:00 Well, that's one of the... I mean, it's so sad that Cap City went under, but that's one of the things-

Andrew Santino 58:04 They're coming back though, no?

Joe Rogan 58:05 It's not the same place.

Andrew Santino 58:07 Oh, right. Oh, it's moving.

Joe Rogan 58:08 They're opening up under the Helium banner. Grossman's-

Andrew Santino 58:10 Yeah, Mark, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:11 He's opening up a place called Cap City, and he's doing it in The Domain. And look, if Helium's gonna do it, it's gonna be great.

Andrew Santino 58:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:18 'Cause he's got fucking great clubs in Portland, and he's got great clubs in Philly, everywhere.

Andrew Santino 58:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:23 It'll be amazing.

Andrew Santino 58:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:24 I don't know why they didn't just call it Helium, like, you don't need to call it Cap City, but I guess they just wanted to-

Andrew Santino 58:28 I talked to him on the phone a couple of weeks ago, he said he wanted to retain the name for what it's done for this community and this city, what it means to Austin.

Joe Rogan 58:35 That's nice.

Andrew Santino 58:35 Which I understand-

Joe Rogan 58:36 That's nice.

Andrew Santino 58:36 ... exactly why he... I think it's almost paying homage. I think it's tipping the hat to, like, you know-

Joe Rogan 58:40 Yeah, that's nice.

Andrew Santino 58:41 It- it would kinda be like if somebody fucking clipped over the store, you-

Joe Rogan 58:44 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 58:45 Ugh. You know what I mean? It, you, it'd be weird.

Joe Rogan 58:46 You gotta let it go. It's the store.

Andrew Santino 58:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:48 Until it's not the store anymore. You know, it's like-

Andrew Santino 58:49 How long is it the store though?

Joe Rogan 58:51 Well, you know, g- opening up a club out here, I thought for a while about doing a store out here, but-

Andrew Santino 58:56 The Comedy Store in Austin?

Joe Rogan 58:57 ... but I was like, "It's not the store." Ari talked me out of it. He's one of the reasons why. He's like-

Andrew Santino 59:00 You listen to Ari?

Joe Rogan 59:02 It... On-

Andrew Santino 59:02 Joe.

Joe Rogan 59:03 ... odd occasions.

Andrew Santino 59:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:06 More than I should.

Andrew Santino 59:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:07 A lot, a lot actually, I listen to him a lot. But, um, he was like, "It's n- it's only the store if it's Mitzy." And I was like, "Fuck, you're right."

Andrew Santino 59:14 Yeah, there's a lot of truth to that.

Joe Rogan 59:14 He said that and I almost started crying.

Andrew Santino 59:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:17 I was like, "Fuck." You know, like, uh, I love the people that run the store, and I'll support the store, and I'll... And, um, I'll say this to all of the people that are working there, I will continue... I'll put it on my Instagram, I'll talk about it on my, uh, on my podcast. I love the store forever. But I wanna do my own thing out here.

Andrew Santino 59:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:37 And I wanna do my own thing in a way where I don't... I don't wanna do it like a business. I wanna do it like... I just wanna do it the way it should be done. You know, like, the club that I'm gonna open up out here, the whole idea is just to support comedy.

Andrew Santino 59:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:53 That's the whole idea. It's like, I feel like baseball has been very, very good to me, you know?

Andrew Santino 59:59 Yes it has, Sammy. Yes it has.

Joe Rogan 1:00:00 You know what I mean? It's like, uh, comedy's been so good to me. It's like I feel like, uh, what I wanna do out here is... I wanna just do something where it just supports comedy. And, uh, I wanna make it a safe place for wild people, where you could just get wild, you could just have some fun.

Andrew Santino 1:00:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:17 And I want, I want you to figure it out. I want you to figure out this weird puzzle that is your own personality dynamics and your past and your life and your n- your neediness and your weirdness and your need to be accepted, and you need to be a part of a community. And then just build this community that fully embraces everybody that tries to do that. Fully embraces everybody who... Like, here's our thing, our thing is comedy.... and, and if you're really committed to that thing, we're committed to you.

Andrew Santino 1:00:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 We're committed to you. We're committed to each other, we're committed to community. I wanna, I wanna have great food for people that work there. I want, I want everybody to eat free. I want