Joe Rogan Experience #1654 - Whitney Cummings

1. 0:00 – 1:17

   Kicking off in Texas: family roots, TI calculators, and school bragging rights

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. WCWhitney Cummings0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) It's-

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Let's start.

   5. WCWhitney Cummings0:15

      ... it's 1:00, Joe.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Yeah, sure.

   7. WCWhitney Cummings0:17

      This is such a bad idea. (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Mm.

   9. WCWhitney Cummings0:19

      I'm gonna end up on-

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       It's a great idea.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings0:20

       ... 8chan.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       We live in Texas. We can do whatever the fuck we want. We're comedians. We're professional comedians, Whitney Cummings.

   13. WCWhitney Cummings0:24

       You know what's so w- correct. And you know what's so wild to me, is you've always been Texas to me.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       (laughs)

   15. WCWhitney Cummings0:30

       Is that weird? But like, I half grew up in Texas. My mom's family's from Sherman, Texas. I don't know if you know Sherman. It's north of, uh, Fort Worth. My uncle made the TI, uh, uh, Texas Instruments calculators.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Really?

   17. WCWhitney Cummings0:42

       Yeah, he was in the factory who built those.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       I used to have one of those.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings0:43

       Do you remember those?

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:44

       Yeah.

   21. WCWhitney Cummings0:45

       I used to run around, uh, uh, my school when I was a kid and be like, "My uncle makes the Texas Instruments calculators."

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       (laughs)

   23. WCWhitney Cummings0:50

       They thought I was the coolest person on the planet. I was like, bragging about him all the time. And then we got to the grade where you actually had to order the fucking calculators, and I was all of a sudden the most unpopular person in school. They're like, "Fuck you. Fuck your uncle." (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       Oh.

   25. WCWhitney Cummings1:04

       'Cause remember they were like this? I mean, they were a giant brick.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       Yeah.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings1:07

       And like, most of the buttons were hieroglyphics. Remember the-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       Hieroglyphics?

   29. WCWhitney Cummings1:10

       Remember, it was like one through ten, and then it was just like all these other crazy buttons?

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:14

       Oh, right.
2. 1:17 – 3:06

   From TI-83 hacks to pagers: the tech nostalgia spiral

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:17

      Let's pull up a photo of those, young Jane.

   2. WCWhitney Cummings1:19

      They were this big.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:20

      So you could play Drug Wars on 'em.

   4. WCWhitney Cummings1:21

      Drug Wars?

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:22

      Yeah, you'd hack, you could put games on them and shit.

   6. Really?

   7. I don't... You guys didn't do that?

   8. No.

   9. Oh.

   10. WCWhitney Cummings1:28

       I remember we used to try to-

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:29

       Well...

   12. WCWhitney Cummings1:29

       ... make dicks out of the numbers.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:30

       (laughs) How do you play Drug Wars?

   14. There's a, I mean, it was just a text game. So it'd be like, you go to this city and you wanna buy drugs, and then you take, go to this city and you buy a bunch of drugs. And then, um-

   15. Is that it?

   16. But that's another game.

   17. That looks like a BlackBerry.

   18. WCWhitney Cummings1:41

       This was before the Silk Road.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:43

       Remember, I remember when the BlackBerrys were out and I was like, "I am never going with something without a button." My friend got, uh, an iPhone. I'm like, "What is that nonsense? You're typing on a screen?"

   20. WCWhitney Cummings1:50

       That wizardry.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:51

       That's so stupid. That's so stupid.

   22. WCWhitney Cummings1:52

       It also seems so unsanitary at the time, iPhone, v- versus the buttons. And remember the, um-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:57

       Well, the buttons get all the, the stuff in between the, the cracks, all the-

   24. WCWhitney Cummings2:00

       That shit was nasty.

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:01

       ... the gunk.

   26. See, this was like Drug Wars.

   27. Oh.

   28. Just by, just would like list it.

   29. "Pigs broke up a drug ring at Greenwood OBGYN."

   30. So you'd have to move cities.
3. 3:06 – 4:28

   Escaping the smartphone trap: flip phones, “addict” folders, and boundaries

   1. JRJoe Rogan3:06

      I'm seriously thinking of going back to a flip phone. I've been really thinking about it lately. 'Cause I've, I have... The, the days that I just leave my phone in the house, I don't have any... I have, uh, an Instagram app and a Twitter app on my phone, but I never open them anymore. And um, I've been really thinking, like, I should just do all that shit from a dedicated phone that I only use for social media. And from my regular phone, just have some shit that I can text people on.

   2. WCWhitney Cummings3:29

      You're the reason I made this folder on the bottom.

   3. JRJoe Rogan3:32

      What is it?

   4. WCWhitney Cummings3:32

      It says "Addict." (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan3:33

      Addict. Oh yeah, that's what I have, yeah.

   6. WCWhitney Cummings3:35

      And it used to be on the farthest page.

   7. JRJoe Rogan3:36

      Yeah.

   8. WCWhitney Cummings3:37

      And then I fucking moved it like an addict.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:40

      (laughs)

   10. WCWhitney Cummings3:40

       And I'm trying so hard... I even did the, the little app that makes it so you, it tells you've been on your screen-

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:46

       Mm-hmm.

   12. WCWhitney Cummings3:46

       ... for 30 minutes today. And I'm like, "Fuck you, you snitch." Like, I can't even-

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:49

       Yeah.

   14. WCWhitney Cummings3:49

       ... respect my own boundaries for it. But I have, um, uh, Joel Silver, famous, uh, uh, LA producer, he uses a flip phone only. And it's like a game changer.

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:59

       Yeah, it changes your life because then you're only text messaging people and sending phone calls.

   16. WCWhitney Cummings4:03

       And you're not putting shit in writing that-

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:06

       Yeah.

   18. WCWhitney Cummings4:06

       ... that is perfectly well intentioned and can be mis-

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:08

       (laughs)

   20. WCWhitney Cummings4:08

       ... misconstrued later under new circumstances. I mean, people even get bitchy about when I, uh, do an email and it's just like, "Thank you for the info," period. They're like, "Are you okay? Are you mad?" I'm like, "No, that was... That's how adults talk." I'm not doing s-

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:21

       Yeah, thank you for the info.

   22. WCWhitney Cummings4:21

       I'm not doing a smiley face. I'm not doing an exclamation part.

   23. JRJoe Rogan4:23

       Some people are so sensitive though.

   24. WCWhitney Cummings4:25

       I used to be.

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:25

       They're so sensitive.

   26. WCWhitney Cummings4:25

       I'm like, "You're projecting onto this. That's your shit."

4. 4:28 – 7:56

   Comedians as explorers: cancel culture, failing in public, and joke intent

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:28

      Well, it's also, we do podcasts, right? So we're talking out loud and you, you don't know what the fuck you're saying or why you're saying it. And then people take it outta, and then they, they make a clip out of it, like this is like a very important statement by Whitney Cummings. It's like, like every day I say something stupid. You could find some shit.

   2. WCWhitney Cummings4:43

      There's a-

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:44

      I've not paid attention.

   4. WCWhitney Cummings4:45

      ... there is a, um, there's this new thing, like when people talk about cancel culture and everything, where I'm like, "When did comedians become like, uh, uh, heroes and a moral compass?" Like we are... Our job is to go into dangerous areas, say dangerous shit, test the waters, like we're the fucking Magellan on the front line. We're the... You know when penguins push another penguin off a... (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:06

      Off the cliff?

   6. WCWhitney Cummings5:06

      That's us. We're like, "We'll jump off th- this cliff and see if there are sharks." Like, we're supposed to be explorers. We're supposed to play devil's advocate and, like, have hot takes, you know? I always, like, I'm working on this new hour and it's always like, "Okay, I'm gonna say something that's not true that I think is funny, and then defend it with jokes."

   7. JRJoe Rogan5:23

      Mm-hmm.

   8. WCWhitney Cummings5:23

      You know? That's kind of like the way I start writing. And I hope you don't agree with anything I'm saying 'cause then it can't be original or you've probably heard it at work today. The idea is you pay money to hear something, s- someone say some shit you would never hear anywhere else. It's a haunted house.

   9. JRJoe Rogan5:37

      Well, it's, it's also, you don't really know if it's gonna work...

   10. WCWhitney Cummings5:41

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan5:42

       ... until you try it out. It's like the, the famous thing that we quote all the time about Patrice. Patrice had the best take on this. He said, "All jokes come from the same place." They all, like bad ones and good ones, they come from you trying to be funny.

   12. WCWhitney Cummings5:54

       Mm-hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan5:54

       And some of them just don't work. But it's, it comes from the same place. It's not like there's an evil intention behind these jokes.

   14. WCWhitney Cummings6:00

       But you have to give us the right to fail. You have to-

   15. JRJoe Rogan6:02

       Yeah.

   16. WCWhitney Cummings6:02

       ... that's the only way we can learn and know.

   17. JRJoe Rogan6:03

       And most people do. It's a small, very vocal minority-

   18. WCWhitney Cummings6:07

       Agree.

   19. JRJoe Rogan6:07

       ... that don't.

   20. WCWhitney Cummings6:08

       Agree. And I do think it's funny with all the, like, cancel culture stuff, like I do kind of joke that like comedians, like we have exacerbated it so much.

   21. JRJoe Rogan6:16

       Oh, yeah.

   22. WCWhitney Cummings6:16

       'Cause we're so sensitive.

   23. JRJoe Rogan6:18

       Also we p-... put fuel on the fire.

   24. WCWhitney Cummings6:20

       Yes.

   25. JRJoe Rogan6:20

       We, we say the most dumb shit.

   26. WCWhitney Cummings6:22

       Yes. And also, you know, it is, it, it does get tricky when, you know, people think that... You know, as a comedian, it's not my job for everyone to like me.

   27. JRJoe Rogan6:29

       Right.

   28. WCWhitney Cummings6:29

       You know? I'm, I'm... I hope I'm polarizing, you know? So if it's, we can't fight for like, "I have the right to say whatever I want. First Amendment right." And then, "But you don't have the right to not like me." It's like, "All right, whatever. You don't like me, fine."

   29. JRJoe Rogan6:40

       Well, in this culture, there is no fucking way everyone's gonna like you. It's not possible. If you're the most rational, reasonable person on the left, some shithead on the right is gonna hate you. If you're the most rationable, conservative person, some wokester is gonna get pissed at you. It's like there's no way. You... Nobody skates.

   30. WCWhitney Cummings6:59

       I would hope so. Like I-
5. 7:56 – 11:57

   Recreational outrage and dopamine: why the internet rewards being mad

   1. JRJoe Rogan7:56

      Yeah. Well, there's a recreation right now. It's recreational outrage, right? And recreational attacks. So people try to find things that piss them off and attack them. And if you wanna find those, comedians are like the best resource. If you're looking for something to get mad at, you can find us all the time.

   2. WCWhitney Cummings8:11

      You go to porn to jerk off. You go to comedians Twitter to get mad.

   3. JRJoe Rogan8:15

      Yeah.

   4. WCWhitney Cummings8:15

      And it, and it is... You know, I feel like we talk about this a lot, but, you know, addiction to me is the element of the conversation that's missing from this whole thing.

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:23

      Mm-hmm.

   6. WCWhitney Cummings8:23

      Because, you know, self-righteous indignation is a legitimate addiction. Adrenaline makes dopamine.

   7. JRJoe Rogan8:28

      Yeah.

   8. WCWhitney Cummings8:28

      When you go on there and go, "Fuck this guy," and you get two likes, you're like, "Yeah." I mean, it's a, it's a-

   9. JRJoe Rogan8:32

      Yeah.

   10. WCWhitney Cummings8:32

       ... dopamine high.

   11. JRJoe Rogan8:34

       Yeah. Likes are real. Likes, retweets, replies, when you see all your comments, people agreeing with you. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Yeah, people feed off that shit.

   12. WCWhitney Cummings8:42

       And I also think people that really love you can go, "Oh, what the fuck was that, man?" But like, a lot of times, negativity, when I look at t- Are people just kinda trying to be funny half the time?

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:52

       Mm-hmm.

   14. WCWhitney Cummings8:52

       Or they're just trying to... You know, when, when I, you know, go to airports, someone's like, "What's up, cunt?"

   15. JRJoe Rogan8:57

       (laughs)

   16. WCWhitney Cummings8:57

       And I'm like... (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan8:59

       Jesus. Is it usually a guy?

   18. WCWhitney Cummings9:00

       Oh yeah, totally.

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:01

       (laughs)

   20. WCWhitney Cummings9:01

       Well, n- I was just in Houston. Dude, Texas bitches do not fuck around. Uh, they... I was across the street and, uh, these girls were like, "Whitney, we love you." And I was like, "Hey." And they were like, "Get over here, bitch." And I'm like walking across the street and then, uh, they were like, "We wanna get a photo." And I was like, "Cool, go for it." And they were like, "Okay, we want, we want you to bend over and we're gonna run a train on you."

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:21

       Oh, Jesus Christ.

   22. WCWhitney Cummings9:22

       (laughs) And they're like... And I'm just like... And-

   23. JRJoe Rogan9:24

       These girls were all doing that to you?

   24. WCWhitney Cummings9:25

       (laughs) Yes. And it was just funny. It was silly. Like, it was just... You know, I always have to draw a line. Like, "No, I'm not-"

   25. JRJoe Rogan9:30

       Yeah.

   26. WCWhitney Cummings9:30

       "... gonna take my shirt off. No, I'm not gonna kiss you. No, I'm not gonna-"

   27. JRJoe Rogan9:32

       But you've been t- Hold up. You've been taking your shirt off a lot.

   28. WCWhitney Cummings9:34

       Recently. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan9:37

       (laughs) On stage, you have people go up and feel your tits.

   30. WCWhitney Cummings9:40

       (laughs) Well, well-
6. 11:57 – 23:06

   Pandemic comedy workarounds: backyard shows, masks, vaccines, and social fear

   1. WCWhitney Cummings11:57

      And you just paid... So, um, the... Oh yeah, I think for me, uh, the whole pandemic, and I know you saw it, and you were, you were very, um... You and Annie Letterman and like, you know, the real, real comics were a big support system to me when I was really trying to figure out a way to-... help comics keep doing stand up safely in LA, because like-

   2. JRJoe Rogan12:14

      Well, you did an amazing job. What you did was really brave, 'cause you did it in your backyard-

   3. WCWhitney Cummings12:18

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan12:18

      ... amongst friends. Like, you all did comedy together to each other, which is hilarious, 'cause it's-

   5. WCWhitney Cummings12:23

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan12:23

      You would think that it would be easy to do comedy in front of your friends. It's fucking hard.

   7. WCWhitney Cummings12:28

      And embarrassing.

   8. JRJoe Rogan12:28

      And super embarrassing. And also, you're doing it for a bunch of comics and agents and managers and, and friends, and that's not an audience. An audience is people you don't know.

   9. WCWhitney Cummings12:37

      That's right.

   10. JRJoe Rogan12:38

       And when you guys did that, I was like, "Look at Whitney, that little junkie."

   11. WCWhitney Cummings12:41

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan12:41

       She's out there, she's out there getting her fix.

   13. WCWhitney Cummings12:44

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan12:44

       She's out there getting her fix by any means necessary.

   15. WCWhitney Cummings12:46

       I mean, it was wild to have-

   16. JRJoe Rogan12:48

       Yeah.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings12:48

       ... whatever your coping mechanism, I mean, it's our job, it's our career, it's our vocation, but it's also our coping mechanism.

   18. JRJoe Rogan12:53

       Yeah.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings12:53

       It's how we make sense of things. And with everything that was going on, you know, I mean, Tim Dillon was over every day, and we were just screaming at each other in, in my yard.

   20. JRJoe Rogan13:00

       Wasn't he living with you for a while?

   21. WCWhitney Cummings13:01

       Kind of (laughs) .

   22. JRJoe Rogan13:02

       How long was he staying with you for?

   23. WCWhitney Cummings13:03

       He was just over... He would just come over kind of most days and-

   24. JRJoe Rogan13:06

       I fucking love that dude.

   25. WCWhitney Cummings13:07

       Dude.

   26. JRJoe Rogan13:07

       He is a goddamn national treasure.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings13:09

       We podcast.

   28. JRJoe Rogan13:09

       Look at him-

   29. WCWhitney Cummings13:10

       Oh, look.

   30. JRJoe Rogan13:10

       Look at him on stage.
7. 23:06 – 27:07

   Drunk podcast chaos and performance prep: cardio, nerves, and bathroom strategy

   1. WCWhitney Cummings23:06

      But I want, I want to say, like, "Yeah, I wasn't proud of the be- the way I behaved last weekend when I drank all that whiskey."

   2. JRJoe Rogan23:10

      Yeah.

   3. WCWhitney Cummings23:10

      And everyone's like, "Cool, let's all go-"

   4. JRJoe Rogan23:12

      Tell me about that. What happened? 'Cause I saw the- the clips, but I'm like, I don't wanna ask anybody until I see someone.

   5. WCWhitney Cummings23:17

      Which one?

   6. JRJoe Rogan23:17

      That podcast that you guys did. Yannis Pappas, you, and...

   7. WCWhitney Cummings23:20

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:20

      What happened?

   9. WCWhitney Cummings23:21

      Five and a half hours.

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:22

       Was it, who else was it?

   11. WCWhitney Cummings23:23

       Uh, me, Yannis Pappas, and, um, Mark Normand.

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:25

       Okay. What the fuck happened?

   13. WCWhitney Cummings23:26

       We burned every bridge in Hollywood.

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:29

       (laughs)

   15. WCWhitney Cummings23:29

       Uh, it's coming out next week, and we just went ape shit on fucking everyone.

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:33

       That's hilarious.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings23:34

       And, uh, and we just, you know, it's like-

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:35

       How l- well, you fucked up. You guys did five and a half hours.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings23:38

       No, I had a couple, like, of these hard kombuchas I do, which is like a-

   20. JRJoe Rogan23:41

       Hard kombuchas.

   21. WCWhitney Cummings23:41

       It's like, have you ever had it? It's- (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan23:43

       It's like, I'm healthy, but I'm also a drunk.

   23. WCWhitney Cummings23:45

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan23:45

       I'm a macrobiotic junkie. Hard kombucha, that is so hilarious.

   25. WCWhitney Cummings23:50

       It's like you, the- the next day, I don't-

   26. JRJoe Rogan23:52

       It's like drunk yoga.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings23:53

       I don't feel, I don't feel hungover. I don't feel-

   28. JRJoe Rogan23:56

       Right.

   29. WCWhitney Cummings23:56

       ... the next day, you take the shit of your life.

   30. JRJoe Rogan23:58

       Whoa.
8. 27:07 – 32:50

   Rowing machines and movie detours: Blade’s opening scene, vampires, and blood-as-sexy

   1. JRJoe Rogan27:07

      (laughs)

   2. WCWhitney Cummings27:07

      ... from Hunger Games. Um, I started rowing.

   3. JRJoe Rogan27:11

      Oh, rowing's beastly.

   4. WCWhitney Cummings27:12

      Dude, there's this thing called the hydro and it doesn't have-

   5. JRJoe Rogan27:14

      Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

   6. WCWhitney Cummings27:15

      It doesn't have that moldy ass bucket of water in the front.

   7. JRJoe Rogan27:17

      Oh, it doesn't?

   8. WCWhitney Cummings27:18

      I didn't like that.

   9. JRJoe Rogan27:19

      (laughs) Bucket of water?

   10. WCWhitney Cummings27:20

       That was gross.

   11. JRJoe Rogan27:20

       I would want that to be blood-

   12. WCWhitney Cummings27:21

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan27:21

       ... and pretend I'm Blade.

   14. WCWhitney Cummings27:22

       (laughs) I think you've got this elk blood-

   15. JRJoe Rogan27:25

       Shh, shh, shh.

   16. WCWhitney Cummings27:25

       ... is splashing on your face.

   17. JRJoe Rogan27:26

       Rah.

   18. WCWhitney Cummings27:27

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan27:27

       I'm thinking of Blade. I'm thinking of that opening scene. By the way, one of the greatest opening scenes in the history of film. The opening scene of Blade with Traci Lords and Wesley Snipes. Remember Traci was-

   20. WCWhitney Cummings27:37

       Was she a porn star? Am I making that up?

   21. JRJoe Rogan27:39

       She wasn't just a porn star. She was the first porn star to cross over into mainstream movies.

   22. WCWhitney Cummings27:45

       Wow.

   23. JRJoe Rogan27:45

       She was in John Waters' movie, she was in Blade.

   24. WCWhitney Cummings27:48

       Oh, sick.

   25. JRJoe Rogan27:48

       And she had a big role in Blade. So she was a vampire in the beginning of Blade. Go to the beginning of it 'cause she, she picks this dude up in a car. Oh, is that where it starts?

   26. WCWhitney Cummings27:56

       Oh, she is so beautiful.

   27. JRJoe Rogan27:57

       And so she picks this guy up. She's su- super hot. And so she was driving this, this guy around in a car, and she picks him up and he's like, "Wow, I'm going back to this party with this hot chick."

   28. WCWhitney Cummings28:07

       Shit.

   29. JRJoe Rogan28:07

       And they get into this warehouse and I fucking... I love this movie, but I love this opening scene. Like, it's one of my favorite opening scenes in any movie.

   30. WCWhitney Cummings28:17

       I don't, I'm seeing this for the first time.
9. 32:50 – 37:02

   Twilight psychology and birth control attraction theory (plus: chain wallets and fanny packs)

   1. WCWhitney Cummings32:50

      Well, and one of the biggest fucking movies of all time, for y- ... The youngins is Twilight. It's hot as-

   2. JRJoe Rogan32:55

      (laughs)

   3. WCWhitney Cummings32:55

      It's ... I'm gonna tell you something. It is hot as fuck. I came back from Dubai. I was on a plane.

   4. JRJoe Rogan33:00

      (groans)

   5. WCWhitney Cummings33:01

      I ... This must've been f- ... 12 years ago. It was, like, me, Kirk Fox, Dwayne Perkins, Rusty Dooley, uh, uh, whoever, we all went to Dubai, and we're sitting in the last c- coach row. And in those flights, there's, like, 12 seats in the middle row. And we're stuck in the middle. I have nothing to fucking do. I'm going crazy. There's, like, chickens on the plane.

   6. JRJoe Rogan33:21

      (farts) (laughs)

   7. WCWhitney Cummings33:21

      I don't even know what the fuck's happening. When you take a plane from the Middle East, it's just wild. And, uh, there's no seat assignments. It's everyone just, like, runs and gets the best seat. Like, i- i- it's chaos.

   8. JRJoe Rogan33:30

      Southwest.

   9. WCWhitney Cummings33:30

      Chao- ... You don't ... Always.

   10. JRJoe Rogan33:31

       A giant Southwest with chickens.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings33:33

       So, and, um, I started watching Twilight. And it is so hot, because he's a vampire.

   12. JRJoe Rogan33:38

       Right.

   13. WCWhitney Cummings33:39

       She's human.

   14. JRJoe Rogan33:39

       Right.

   15. WCWhitney Cummings33:39

       And there's something so hot in our fucking bones about, he could kill us at any fucking moment.

   16. JRJoe Rogan33:45

       Yeah.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings33:46

       It's-

   18. JRJoe Rogan33:46

       Women, r- ridiculous.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings33:47

       Our number one fear is-

   20. JRJoe Rogan33:47

       Imagine thinking like that about women? Imagine b- ... Like, like, wanting to date tigers.

   21. WCWhitney Cummings33:52

       (laughs) That's what it-

   22. JRJoe Rogan33:52

       Like, I just want ... (laughs)

   23. WCWhitney Cummings33:54

       That's what it is. And I don't know if it's just ... Because if women are on birth control, apparently, th- our olfactory glands, uh, change 'cause our body thinks it's pregnant, so we're attracted, when we're on birth control, to more risk-taking alpha type men.

   24. JRJoe Rogan34:06

       Oh, that completely makes sense.

   25. WCWhitney Cummings34:07

       Fascinating.

   26. JRJoe Rogan34:08

       Like ... Yeah. Like, your baby needs to be protected even though you don't have one.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings34:11

       The ... And so they say-

   28. JRJoe Rogan34:13

       Does that make sense?

   29. WCWhitney Cummings34:13

       ... exactly what it is. And they say that if you're on birth control and you get engaged to some- ... Wait a year and see if you still wanna fuck him. Go off-

   30. JRJoe Rogan34:20

       (farts)
10. 37:02 – 42:59

    Austin comedy, SXSW economics, and the Bernie Madoff mindset

    1. WCWhitney Cummings37:02

       Dude, I- I- I-

    2. JRJoe Rogan37:02

       It's wild.

    3. WCWhitney Cummings37:03

       ... always fucking love coming here. Um, I think the, I was gonna do South... Did you ever do South by Southwest?

    4. JRJoe Rogan37:10

       No.

    5. WCWhitney Cummings37:10

       When they, they had f- a fucking great comedy, like, section of their festival. I don't love doing outdoor comedy.

    6. JRJoe Rogan37:15

       You know what they offered me? They, they offered me free tickets to see other shows.

    7. WCWhitney Cummings37:19

       Huh?

    8. JRJoe Rogan37:20

       Yeah, they don't pay you. They offer, they don't even pay to fly you out there or put you up. They offered me free tickets to see other people work for free.

    9. WCWhitney Cummings37:27

       Your friends go watch? (laughs)

    10. JRJoe Rogan37:29

        (laughs) I was like, "What kind of an amazing Ponzi scheme do you guys have?" You should get Bernie Madoff outta jail right now. Oh, he's dead. Didn't he just die?

    11. WCWhitney Cummings37:37

        Here's the other thing about-

    12. JRJoe Rogan37:38

        Didn't Bernie just die?

    13. WCWhitney Cummings37:40

        Madoff?

    14. JRJoe Rogan37:41

        Yeah, he just died. Yeah.

    15. WCWhitney Cummings37:42

        Oh, I, I, I don't feel bad. Is that weird?

    16. JRJoe Rogan37:44

        No, you shouldn't feel bad. I bet he doesn't feel bad. I bet-

    17. WCWhitney Cummings37:46

        Didn't his son kill himself?

    18. JRJoe Rogan37:48

        Yes.

    19. WCWhitney Cummings37:48

        Hmm.

    20. JRJoe Rogan37:48

        Yes. I think another person killed themselves-

    21. WCWhitney Cummings37:50

        That's sad to me.

    22. JRJoe Rogan37:50

        ... too in the organization. It's a horrible, horrible, horrible story. (clears throat) I've talked to people that really understand finance and they explained it to me.

    23. WCWhitney Cummings37:58

        Mm-hmm.

    24. JRJoe Rogan37:58

        And they're like, they're, these people, like, know, it's so rare to get that many super rich people and have them completely duped by a Ponzi scheme.

    25. WCWhitney Cummings38:06

        Right.

    26. JRJoe Rogan38:07

        And that's what was so crazy about it, that he was so good and he had such a high return for so many years-

    27. WCWhitney Cummings38:11

        Mm-hmm.

    28. JRJoe Rogan38:12

        ... and so many people were coming to him that he-

    29. WCWhitney Cummings38:13

        Yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan38:13

        ... constantly had this money coming in.
11. 42:59 – 57:47

    Student debt as a trap: brain development, lifelong consequences, and who gets deterred

    1. JRJoe Rogan42:59

       Well, how old were you?

    2. WCWhitney Cummings43:01

       ... job seven.

    3. JRJoe Rogan43:03

       I was having this conversa- th- I don't think you're responsible. I have a- I was having this conversation with Lex Fridman today, and we were talking about student loan debt.

    4. WCWhitney Cummings43:10

       Mm.

    5. JRJoe Rogan43:10

       'Cause he was listening to a podcast that I did, and we were discussing on the podcast-

    6. WCWhitney Cummings43:13

       Mm-hmm.

    7. JRJoe Rogan43:14

       ... the amount of people that owe student loans.

    8. WCWhitney Cummings43:15

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan43:16

       And it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 million people.

    10. WCWhitney Cummings43:18

        It's fucked.

    11. JRJoe Rogan43:19

        It's some insane number.

    12. WCWhitney Cummings43:20

        And it gets higher every year you can't afford to pay it. The interest gets up.

    13. JRJoe Rogan43:22

        And they owe trillions of dollars-

    14. WCWhitney Cummings43:24

        That's right.

    15. JRJoe Rogan43:25

        ... overall. And we were talking about it, and I said, in a way, it's kind of like, y- l- it's ... We know scientifically n- we understand, like, the, the development of the human brain.

    16. WCWhitney Cummings43:37

        Mm-hmm.

    17. JRJoe Rogan43:37

        It ... Your, your frontal cortex doesn't fully develop until you're somewhere in the neighborhood of, like, 20-something years old.

    18. WCWhitney Cummings43:43

        Five or so, yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan43:44

        25.

    20. WCWhitney Cummings43:44

        Different for men and wo- I think.

    21. JRJoe Rogan43:45

        It's different for-

    22. WCWhitney Cummings43:46

        I mean, I'm not allowed to say-

    23. JRJoe Rogan43:46

        Yeah.

    24. WCWhitney Cummings43:47

        ... men and women are. Sorry.

    25. JRJoe Rogan43:47

        Right. Whatever it is, it's like it's in your 20s. But yet, by that time, you could be hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt in human, in, in, in, uh, student loans, rather, and not understand the consequences of this.

    26. WCWhitney Cummings43:57

        That's right.

    27. JRJoe Rogan43:58

        Not totally be able to wrap your head a- Imagine going from high school-

    28. WCWhitney Cummings44:01

        Mm-hmm.

    29. JRJoe Rogan44:01

        ... to hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt in a period of 10 to 20 months.

    30. WCWhitney Cummings44:05

        That's right.
12. 57:47 – 1:03:43

    Animal rescue activism: roadside zoos, bear cruelty, and trafficking networks

    1. WCWhitney Cummings57:47

       ... there is a faci- To me, it's all about body language and all about sort of... And this is why, you know, I'm so into horses and dog training and stuff like that and horse body language.

    2. JRJoe Rogan57:54

       Didn't you try to save some bears while you were out here?

    3. WCWhitney Cummings57:56

       I did.

    4. JRJoe Rogan57:56

       I got an- (laughs)

    5. WCWhitney Cummings57:57

       Texas... I fucking love Texas.

    6. JRJoe Rogan57:58

       I got an angry text from Whitney about bears.

    7. WCWhitney Cummings58:00

       I love you g- (laughs) There... I-

    8. JRJoe Rogan58:02

       (laughs) She's got... She's saving bears out here.

    9. WCWhitney Cummings58:04

       I-

    10. JRJoe Rogan58:04

        She's mad at people. I'm like, "Whoa, are you-"

    11. WCWhitney Cummings58:05

        I love Texas.

    12. JRJoe Rogan58:06

        "... having fights already?"

    13. WCWhitney Cummings58:07

        I fucking love Texas, but I... When you're... When you have Texas and West Virginia, but you're ready to fight anyone at any time.

    14. JRJoe Rogan58:12

        Right.

    15. WCWhitney Cummings58:12

        And there are a lot... There's an incredible amount of, uh, uh, animal cruelty in Texas that I... that to me is against what Texas is all about, like putting bears in boxes. What was it called? The Central Capit- It was called the Capital of Texas Zoo. It's right fucking out here. There's bears in cages, the ones that, uh-

    16. JRJoe Rogan58:30

        Ugh.

    17. WCWhitney Cummings58:30

        ... the Chinese, uh, use to do the gallbladders. Take them, you know, like the gallbladder-

    18. JRJoe Rogan58:36

        Mm-hmm.

    19. WCWhitney Cummings58:36

        ... some medicine, and they're in these cages, and there's no water.

    20. JRJoe Rogan58:40

        What? You mean black bears? Is that what you're saying?

    21. WCWhitney Cummings58:41

        I'll show you.

    22. JRJoe Rogan58:42

        It must be a black bear.

    23. WCWhitney Cummings58:43

        Yes, I got the name of-

    24. JRJoe Rogan58:44

        Do you know that gallbladder thing is, like, it's so bad that they... you're not allowed to... even if you legally hunt a bear, you can't open up its, uh, its organ cavity because people are worried that people are shooting bears just for their gallbladders in British Columbia?

    25. WCWhitney Cummings58:57

        That's right. Uh, the Asiatic-

    26. JRJoe Rogan58:59

        Black bear, yeah.

    27. WCWhitney Cummings59:00

        ... black bear and-

    28. JRJoe Rogan59:01

        Mm-hmm.

    29. WCWhitney Cummings59:01

        ... this, uh, bullshit, uh, Capital of Texas Zoo, which is trying to say it's, like, rescuing them, is all about the As- Asiatic black bear is a species whose population is rapidly decreasing due to illegal hunting for its gallbladder, which is used in Asian folk medicine. And then you're gonna fucking put it in a box and not give it any water? That pisses me off, and it's a USDA violation. So I go around to these, like, bullshits, see-

Episode duration: 3:05:59