Joe Rogan Experience #1669 - Kyle Kulinski

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. KKKyle Kulinski0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music) Oh, hello, Kyle.

   4. KKKyle Kulinski0:15

      Hello, Joe Rogan. Pleasure to be here.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Always good to see you, my friend.

   6. KKKyle Kulinski0:16

      Oh, I'm really happy to be here. I had a great time last night watching your standup.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      Oh, that was fun.

   8. KKKyle Kulinski0:21

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      That place is fun, right? Vulcan?

   10. KKKyle Kulinski0:22

       Yeah. Place is a lot of fun. Um, I've seen your standup three times now, and I really think that that was the best set I've seen of yours yet.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Oh, thank you. Thanks, man.

   12. KKKyle Kulinski0:30

       Yeah. We were talking about it afterwards, and we were like, uh, uh, trying to put our finger on why I think it was the best, and I'm interested to hear what your, your thoughts on this are. But I think... You said at the beginning of the show, "I am fucking high as balls right now."

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       That was definitely true.

   14. KKKyle Kulinski0:44

       And it made me think that weed probably put you in the moment a lot more.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Yeah.

   16. KKKyle Kulinski0:50

       And then makes it so that... Like you said, you were exercising some things and going down some paths you wouldn't normally go down.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       Yeah.

   18. KKKyle Kulinski0:56

       And I think that was one of the things that made it great because I know that whenever I'm less coached myself when I'm about to do a segment and talking about politics, it always comes off better than when I'm very rigidly going through the motions.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:09

       Yeah.

   20. KKKyle Kulinski1:09

       You know what I mean? So there's something about the off-the-cuff thing, which it felt like you were very off-the-cuff, that really, the room was locked into you and, and you were doing a great job.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:17

       Thanks. Thanks. Yeah, I think... Uh, I'm working out stuff so like I ha- uh, I have bits that are already formulated, but some of them I'm not really happy with, so I was trying to figure out different ways to do them, and that's what I was doing last night, was just fucking around and trying to figure out new ways to talk about things.

   22. KKKyle Kulinski1:33

       Yeah. It was, you know... Comedy is an interesting art. It really is, because the laughter is so involuntary. It's like how it's, it's... You gotta be a magician to, like, coax it out of people at the right time.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:43

       Yeah.

   24. KKKyle Kulinski1:43

       It seems like it's nearly impossible.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:44

       It's kind of a, a s- sort of like a mass hypnosis.

   26. KKKyle Kulinski1:50

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:50

       That's what it's kinda like. It's like you're getting those people to think the way you think, like bringing them into your head.

   28. KKKyle Kulinski1:57

       Yeah. The delivery... One of the things I noticed yesterday is that... I'm curious, what percentage of comedy do you think is just delivery? Because there were a couple people who had good material, like if you write the jokes down, the jokes are good, but then with the delivery, there was something off about it-

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:14

       Yeah.

   30. KKKyle Kulinski2:14

       ... and they were either rushing through it or there wasn't confidence behind it, and it just fell flat. And so it makes me feel like, like Tony Hinchcliffe, for example, I was telling you this last night, he's like... He's a master at how he delivers it because it's so, like, confident but also calm and deadpan.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh, God. …

   1. KKKyle Kulinski15:00

      are, like, a thousand long who are just waiting to get their one moment-

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      Oh, God.

   3. KKKyle Kulinski15:03

      ... with the porn star. Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      Imagine if you're that gal and you gotta take a picture with these guys and they put their hands on you and grab you and some of them probably have jizz on their hands-

   5. KKKyle Kulinski15:12

      (groans)

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      ... on purpose, right? Just so they can mark you.

   7. KKKyle Kulinski15:14

      (sighs) It's a dark thought, but, I mean, prob-

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:18

      Probably.

   9. KKKyle Kulinski15:18

      It's gotta happen, right? It's definitely-

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:19

       Yeah.

   11. KKKyle Kulinski15:19

       ... not never happened.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:21

       Yeah, they probably would, uh, I- if I was one of them gals, I would make them spray their hands down and give them a thick towel. Like, "Rub your hands down."

   13. KKKyle Kulinski15:29

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       "Okay, now y- we take a picture."

   15. KKKyle Kulinski15:31

       I wonder how big they really are though, because it's... I mean, still you feel socially like a lot of that stuff is underground, but is it really underground?

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       It's not. They have these-

   17. KKKyle Kulinski15:39

       Yeah, exactly. That's my point.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       They have those expos in LA-

   19. KKKyle Kulinski15:41

       Right.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       ... where they were doing it at a big, one of them big convention centers. They're big things.

   21. KKKyle Kulinski15:46

       Right. Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       Yeah. They're big deals.

   23. KKKyle Kulinski15:47

       And people don't feel... You know, I, I mean, credit to them, but people don't feel, like, weird going in there and being seen at them and being around other people who are like, "Hey, I'm fucking horny. You horny?" "Sure, I'm horny."

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       I bet there's a lot of fanny packs in those places.

   25. KKKyle Kulinski15:59

       (laughs) Definitely a lot of fanny packs.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:01

       And this is coming from a guy who wears a fanny pack. I do.

   27. KKKyle Kulinski16:03

       You love them. You love those fanny packs.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:04

       I do love them.

   29. KKKyle Kulinski16:04

       I can't talk. Remember I wore the phone clip a few times ago when you were coming down? (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:07

       Mm-hmm. Phone cli- phone clip is p- fanny pack adjacent.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   He's a good man.…

   1. KKKyle Kulinski30:00

      big his district is, but he's been in there for a while.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      He's a good man.

   3. KKKyle Kulinski30:02

      He's been in there for a long time.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      He takes care of the cows.

   5. KKKyle Kulinski30:05

      He's one of my favorites, for sure.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:06

      That, that whole thing, what ... Is it possible the Bureau of Land Management? That's BLM, not Black Lives Matter, by the way. That's what you're talking about.

   7. KKKyle Kulinski30:13

      Oh. Oh, that's what he's talk- okay, yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      For the people that think BLM ... Yeah.

   9. KKKyle Kulinski30:15

      I mean, I was a little confused at that. I was like, "Wait, I don't-"

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:17

       Bureau of Land Management is what he's m- talking about.

   11. KKKyle Kulinski30:19

       Uh, he also famously said one time, uh, "Don't cast aspersions on my asparagus," in the middle of a committee hearing.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:26

       (laughs)

   13. KKKyle Kulinski30:26

       He thought he was saying something else.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       He's really into asparagus?

   15. KKKyle Kulinski30:28

       But he said those words.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       Yeah.

   17. Yeah. But (laughs) can you imagine the thought that the, the Bureau of Land Management deals with, like, forests.... and shit. They, they deal with, like, the wilderness. There's places where people... BLM land is, like, land where people hunt on.

   18. KKKyle Kulinski30:41

       I mean, he's like, "Go move the moon."

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       (laughs)

   20. KKKyle Kulinski30:43

       Like, he didn't even know, he didn't even know that NASA's responsible for that?

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       But NASA can't even move the moon! You're talking about something that's literally, like... What is the moon? Like, a sixth the Earth's size or something? A sixth the Earth's gravity?

   22. KKKyle Kulinski30:55

       T- the moon-

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:55

       How, how big is the moon?

   24. Uh, eh...

   25. It's smaller than that, I think. I think it's smaller than a sixth the Earth's size.

   26. KKKyle Kulinski31:02

       It's not, it's not possible to move it. It's not possible to move it.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       Yeah, you never know.

   28. KKKyle Kulinski31:05

       Yeah. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       Just get the Bureau of Land Management behind it. "What we're gonna do is shoot trees at it." (laughs)

   30. One, one quarter of the Earth's diameter.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      too fast.

   2. KKKyle Kulinski45:00

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      And next thing you know, you're living with a psychopath. And you're like, "I gotta get the fuck out of here," and I think he wound up moving out of his own house.

   4. KKKyle Kulinski45:07

      (gasps)

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      Yeah, it was ... Crazy story, but anyway, this ... More people have had experiences where, you know, you, you think this relationship's gonna go one way, and then as time goes ... Like, how many people ... You know, like that said, uh, old Billy Joel song, The Stranger? You know, it's like-

   6. KKKyle Kulinski45:30

      Mm-hmm.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:30

      ... kinda based on that. Like, that you get close to people and as you get close to them, you, you know, they take off the mask and you find out what they're like. So, d- you, like ... You're a busy guy. You're also a very ambitious person, and you're very involved in your work. And I think most people that have a very involved career and they're ... they have a lot going on, they're terrified of some massive inf- distraction, some massive monkey bar that gets ... or monkey wrench, rather, that gets thrown into the gears and fucks up their life. And it happens to people.

   8. KKKyle Kulinski46:01

      Yeah. I'm ac- ... I'm ... Believe it or not, I'm actually not that ambitious. I'm very, I'm very, like, orderly and structured and obsessive. So, it- it- it manifests l- into something that looks like ambition, but it's actually not ambition.

   9. JRJoe Rogan46:14

      Well, you're disciplined and you work a lot.

   10. KKKyle Kulinski46:15

       Very disciplined, yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:16

       And you work a lot.

   12. KKKyle Kulinski46:16

       Very disciplined, work a lot. That is very true. Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:18

       A bad relationship with someone who's completely crazy could fuck that up. And you c- ... Listen, people have done that before. You get involved with someone and then all of a sudden they're stealing money for you and credit card fraud and y- w- ... People are crazy.

   14. KKKyle Kulinski46:30

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:31

       Like, and, and you don't know. Sometimes you don't know until you, like ... You might be with someone for, like, six months and you go, "Hey, how's it going with Shirley?" "Oh, she's great." Five months later, "Dude, let me fucking tell you."

   16. KKKyle Kulinski46:41

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:41

       "I had no idea. First of all, she was doing meth the entire time I was with her."

   18. KKKyle Kulinski46:45

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:45

       "Her sister just got out of jail. Next thing you know, her sisters live with me. Shit's missing in my fucking house." And, like ... And then you, you hear these crazy stories, and people are worried. They're worried about getting intimate with someone who turns out to not be what they're presenting.

   20. KKKyle Kulinski46:57

       And it's funny because, you know, at the time I had that dream, I was single and had been single for a very long time. Now, I'm not, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

   21. JRJoe Rogan47:05

       Oh.

   22. KKKyle Kulinski47:05

       So, you know, it's weird because that dream came at a time when there was seemingly nothing that could ... 'Cause I wasn't ... Not only was I not with anybody, I wasn't even looking for anybody. And so for that dream to hit me at that time, that gets back to the, the point about psychedelics, which is, I'm afraid there might be something there if I go too deep that I'm gonna uncover. And then I don't know k- ... Is there any putting that genie back in the bottle if I go down that path? You know what I mean? Which is why a microdose, I think, is a good idea.

   23. JRJoe Rogan47:28

       (laughs)

   24. KKKyle Kulinski47:28

       You start with a microdose, see how you feel, dip your toe in the water, and then take it from there.

   25. JRJoe Rogan47:32

       Dude, I had a dream once that Godzilla was chasing me on a skateboard. I don't think you need to worry. I don't think I'm really worried ... I'm not really skateboarding, and I'm not-

   26. KKKyle Kulinski47:40

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan47:40

       ... really worried about Godzilla. I think they're just dreams.

   28. KKKyle Kulinski47:42

       Yeah, sometimes ... I think that random dream theory actually might be the one I believe the most.

   29. JRJoe Rogan47:48

       Especially since-

   30. KKKyle Kulinski47:48

       'Cause there's chaos in all these dreams, you d- you know. You could ... Anything could happen.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:06:48

   Jumps out, he's fine.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      window, and bou-... There's a... He's in a house that's on fire? He falls from the second-floor window.

   2. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:05

      Jumps out, he's fine.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Just lands on the ground and runs away.

   4. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:07

      (laughs) I've never seen that, but that's exactly what cats do, right? They always land-

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      Yeah.

   6. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:10

      ... on their fucking feet.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

      But-

   8. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:11

      How high can you really put it for them to be okay? You know what I mean? Like, what's the limit before it's like, "That thing's gonna die"?

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

      Well, squirrels, they can fall from as high as, like, 80, 90 feet. Squirrels, apparently, they... This I found this out from the MeatEater podcast. He had a squirrel scientist on, and the squirrel scientist was saying that squirrels... A female squirrel, when she is in season, uh, she's in estrus. She's only in estrus for, like, six hours. So, it's a fucking-

   10. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:37

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       ... just a w-

   12. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:38

       Gangbang?

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       ... a wild time.

   14. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:39

       Giant orgy? (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:40

       But it's a wild brawl, too-

   16. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:41

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       ... 'cause all the males are competing for her attention.

   18. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:43

       Uh...

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       So, when you see squirrels chasing each other around trees (squirrel noise) scr- screaming and shit, that's probably a female in heat.

   20. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:50

       Mm-hmm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

       And a lot of 'em, like, they, they'll be in the middle of breeding, and another squirrel will grab 'em and throw 'em off the tree.

   22. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:56

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:56

       So, they go flying, like, fucking 60 feet to the ground.

   24. KKKyle Kulinski1:00:59

       That's fucking crazy.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       And they bounce. And they run back up the tree and try to get back at it again.

   26. KKKyle Kulinski1:01:03

       So, I want to ask you an embarrassing question.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       Oh.

   28. KKKyle Kulinski1:01:05

       This is embarrassing for me, not you. You just brought up estrus. So, that's when they're in heat.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:09

       Yes.

   30. KKKyle Kulinski1:01:09

       Right?

Episode duration: 2:58:09