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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1703 - Tom Segura

Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian, and co-host of "Your Mom's House" and "2 Bears, 1 Cave" podcasts. He is also the host of "Tom Segura en Español" a Spanish language podcast.

Joe RoganhostTom Seguraguest
Jun 27, 20242h 59mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 0:55

    CNN 'horse dewormer' controversy & why Rogan considered legal action

    1. NA

      (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

    2. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) My man. What's up?

    3. TS

      Hey, man. How are-

    4. JR

      What's up, brother?

    5. TS

      Well, well, well.

    6. JR

      Well, well, well.

    7. TS

      If it isn't old horse worm Rogan.

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. TS

      (laughs) I'm glad you're, I'm glad you're well, man.

    10. JR

      Bro, do I have to sue CNN?

    11. NA

      I don't know.

    12. TS

      I don't know. Do you?

    13. JR

      They're making shit up. They keep saying I'm taking horse dewormer. I literally got it from a doctor. It's an, uh, American company.

    14. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    15. JR

      It's, uh, it, they won the Nobel Prize in 2015 for use in human beings.

    16. TS

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      And CNN is saying I'm taking horse dewormer.

    18. TS

      Yeah, what, so-

    19. NA

      Well, that's-

    20. JR

      They must know that that's a lie.

    21. NA

      There's a lot of people saying it. (laughs)

    22. JR

      Right, but a lot of people can say it.

    23. NA

      Okay.

    24. JR

      Like, the internet says it. Who cares?

    25. TS

      Sure. But it's-

    26. JR

      But CNN is saying it.

    27. NA

      Well, anyway.

    28. JR

      Like, Jim Acosta.

    29. NA

      I, I meant, like, uh, like, USA Today, a few other, like-

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  2. 0:55 – 4:26

    What Rogan took for COVID: monoclonal antibodies, IV vitamins, ivermectin—and the messaging battle

    1. TS

      And they're talking ab- of- about ivermectin, right?

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. TS

      So what ... 'Cause I don't know. I just saw (blows raspberry) so much news-

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. TS

      ... about you. I mean, I would talk to you and check on you and see if you're all right, and you're like-

    6. JR

      (laughs)

    7. TS

      You, you, you threw the kitchen sink at it, you said.

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. TS

      Which was stuff that, you know, you took IV drips and what was it? Mono what? Mono-

    10. JR

      Monoclonal antibodies.

    11. TS

      And that ... What is monoclonal antibodies?

    12. JR

      The shit they gave Trump.

    13. TS

      Okay.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. TS

      And then what ... So who said or did you already want ivermectin? Like-

    16. JR

      Well, I had this guy on, Dr. Pierre Kory, and he is, uh, what is the organization he's from? Frontline cr- COVID critical care workers?

    17. NA

      Yeah, there's a lot of Cs.

    18. JR

      He's a well-established doctor, has treated thousands of people with COVID, and they've, uh, the, early on in the pandemic, they found some good, uh, efficacy with, uh, with g- with, um, ivermectin. Frontline 19 Critical Care Alliance.

    19. TS

      Okay.

    20. JR

      Yeah. Um, so I had him on, and, you know, he had talked to me about it. He's not, he's not the only doctor that told me to take it. Multiple doctors told me to take it.

    21. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    22. JR

      It's, uh, it's supposed to have, uh, what is the exact thing it's supposed to do? There's, there's something that I highlighted. Um, th- and this is ... Obviously, I'm not a doctor. It says, "I- ivermectin was found to be a blocker of viral, uh, replica- e- replicase, R-E-P-L-I-C-A-S-E protease," and I don't know what this word is, "human TMPRSS2." I don't know. But what they didn't highlight-

    23. TS

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      ... is that I got better.

    25. TS

      Yeah, you got better quickly.

    26. JR

      They tr- tried to make it seem as if, like, uh, I'm doing some wacky shit that's completely ineffective.

    27. TS

      Right.

    28. JR

      And CNN was saying that I'm a distributor of misinformation. Also, that was the other thing that happened, the, um, in Tokyo, in Japan, which is apparently, uh, they're very conservative about the medication that they, they use and the medications that they, uh, endorse, but the Tokyo Medical Association chairman hol- held a live press conference recommending ivermectin to all doctors for all COVID patients.

    29. TS

      So what's going on with the, like, the, you know, it's kinda hard to, to figure out what's the truth in, in a lot of things, but with, with regard to this, people go, "It's insane to take ivermectin."

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  3. 4:26 – 6:37

    Rogan’s COVID timeline: Florida tour, hangover confusion, isolation, positive test

    1. TS

      Let's go to, like, your, your whole experience.

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. TS

      So you get back from a trip, right? And is, is it that night ... Do you arrive home and know? Or, like, on your way home, you're like, "I don't feel so great"?

    4. JR

      Um, well, Saturday ... Here's what happened. Friday night, we went out and got hammered.

    5. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    6. JR

      Went out and played pool till 3:30 in the morning, had a, a bunch of drinks.

    7. TS

      Mm-hmm. (laughs) Yeah.

    8. JR

      Had a brunch- bunch of drinks. At the show, at the show I think I had two drinks, and then I had, like, four afterwards.

    9. TS

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      So we were pretty lit.

    11. TS

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      And it was 3:30 in the morning. Exhausted, plane travel, you know, flew that day-

    13. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    14. JR

      ... from, um, I guess, uh, Fort Lauderdale was the first show, then that was Tampa, and then last show was Orlando. Um, that night I just, I was worn out, Friday night, you know, 'cause it's 3:30 in the morning and I was like-

    15. TS

      Yeah.

    16. JR

      ... "Oh, I gotta crash." And then I woke up in the morning and I was definitely hungover, but I was also just feeling a little out of it.

    17. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    18. JR

      Just a little, just a little just not good. It's hard to describe. If I had COVID, it was just, like, beginning stages, but I thought it was a hangover.

    19. TS

      Right, which kinda confuses-

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. TS

      ... the way, th- how you can read it.

    22. JR

      So drank a lot of water, um, ate, took a bunch of vitamins, went to sleep, got up for the show, felt good. Um, no drinks that night. Um, and then that night we flew back. And so (sighs) just feeling worn out, you know, pretty normal, but worn out.

    23. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    24. JR

      And then when I got home, I was like, "Man, something just feels off." So I told my wife, "You know, you should probably, um, keep away from me. Let me isolate." Lucky we have a big house.

    25. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    26. JR

      I isolated. And in the middle of the night, I was sweating.... you know, I would get s- fevers and I just did- I wasn't feeling good.

    27. TS

      And you knew it then?

    28. JR

      I woke up in the morning, I knew it. In the morning-

    29. TS

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      By the time in the morning, I was like, "Something's going on. Let's see what it is." It was pr- 90 whatever percent sure it was COVID. So, morning I got tested. Turned out positive and then just-

  4. 6:37 – 9:42

    NAD drips, high-dose vitamin C, and rapid recovery—plus the ‘please rest’ texts

    1. TS

      Do you- do you immediately... This is what I, I didn't, hadn't asked you yet. Had you... Did you have a plan in place in your head for like, "If I get COVID-

    2. JR

      Yes.

    3. TS

      ... I would do these." So, you-

    4. JR

      Yes.

    5. TS

      So when you find out you're positive-

    6. JR

      Yeah.

    7. TS

      ... you start reaching out for these treatments?

    8. JR

      Yeah. I already had the tr- I already had it in place.

    9. TS

      You did?

    10. JR

      Yeah. I was already ready to go.

    11. TS

      So-

    12. JR

      (clears throat)

    13. TS

      And then you started taking them that day?

    14. JR

      Yeah. I got it. I got all the stuff that I needed, took it that day, and then Monday I felt pretty fucking good. And I was taking vitamin IV drips every day. High dose vitamin C-

    15. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    16. JR

      ... um, vitamin D, uh, and NAD as well.

    17. TS

      What is the NAD stuff? 'Cause I, I hear that-

    18. JR

      It's a good, it's a good question.

    19. TS

      Okay.

    20. JR

      The word... (laughs) Try to, try to say the word. Pull it up so we can just read it 'cause it's, uh-

    21. TS

      Okay.

    22. JR

      ... it's very complicated. But what NAD does is essentially it lengthens your telomeres.

    23. TS

      Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide.

    24. JR

      Yes. That's it. So, uh, it's a co-enzyme central to metabolism found in all living cells. NAD is called a dinucleotide because it consists of two nucleotides joined through their phosphate groups. One nucleotide contains an adenine nucleobase and the other nicotinamide. Okay. Anyway, I've taken that stuff in the past.

    25. TS

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      Um, in IV drips. It's super uncomfortable. It makes your guts feel like they're getting smushed. Like you have to do it real slow. You do it over like two hours.

    27. TS

      For the-

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. TS

      ... the drip?

    30. JR

      Yeah. Or you get really high and you can fucking blaze through it. I hold the world record at, uh... Not the world record.

  5. 9:42 – 12:25

    Tom’s COVID experience: post-surgery confusion, delayed testing, and family uncertainty

    1. TS

      Mine, when I got COVID, I was in like the hospital recovering from surgery.

    2. JR

      Right.

    3. TS

      And I thought it was, uh, the opioid withdrawals.

    4. JR

      Mm.

    5. TS

      Of which they told me though, "You're gonna feel like shit when you get off of these."

    6. JR

      Like the flu, right?

    7. TS

      Yeah. That's exactly... They said, "You're gonna get emotional and-

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. TS

      ... you're gonna feel terrible." And I was like, "Okay." And I t- I got off of them like on a Saturday. I stopped taking them after like two weeks. And then on Monday, I think it was Monday or Tuesday, I had PT and OT back to back. And afterwards I was like, "Man, I feel terrible."

    10. JR

      What is OT?

    11. TS

      Occupational therapy.

    12. JR

      What's the difference?

    13. TS

      It's just like above the waist is kind of the way they tell you. Like PT is below the waist, OT is above the waist.

    14. JR

      Oh.

    15. TS

      So they were treating my knee for PT, and then the OT was like the har- arm and hand stuff. And I did them back to back, like in their hour each. And I'm all fucked up, so they're like, "Yeah, of course, you're tired and shit. Like take a nap." I sle- I slept for like three hours and they're like, "Goddamn." And I... And h- here's the thing. No- it occurred to nobody that I had COVID. The next day I'm like, I have diarrhea. My sh- my shoulders, like my traps, neck were so achy. I was like, "Ugh." And they're like, "Yeah, he's just fucking worn out from the, the therapy and getting off of the opiates and everything." And, and then the, the next day, a little better, but still shitty. And the third day, I was like, "I feel better," you know. And the fourth day I was like, "I feel fine." So that was kind of like my window. And that was the last, the fourth day where they were like, "Do you wanna take a COVID test?" I was like, "For what?" They're like, "Oh, for when you felt like shit three days ago."

    16. JR

      (laughs)

    17. TS

      And I go, "Yeah, okay." And so I took the COVID test, and my favorite is that they're like, uh, "Do you want same-day results?" And I go, "Yeah." And they go, "It's expensive." And I go, "This fucking hospital stay is expensive. What are you talking about?" Like-

    18. JR

      Right.

    19. TS

      ... this is thousands of dollars a day. You think I, I don't wanna spend $100 more to find out today? So I said, "Yeah, let's do same day." And then they tested. At the end of the day, I go, "Where's my result?" And they're like, "We don't know."

    20. JR

      (blows raspberries) (laughs)

    21. TS

      So the next day I'm going home-

    22. JR

      (laughs)

    23. TS

      ... and it's, it's, it's a Saturday. And they're taking me home and I was like, "Hey, whatever happened to my fucking COVID test?" And now I feel like totally fine. And they go, "Uh, I don't know. I'm gonna call the lady that took the test." And I was like, "What the fuck? (laughs) So crazy." So I get home, I watch a movie with my kids.

    24. JR

      Oh, no.

    25. TS

      And the email goes ding, and I open it and it says positive.... that's how I found out.

    26. JR

      Did you infect the kids?

    27. TS

      N-, uh, I don't know.

    28. JR

      Really?

    29. TS

      Yeah. We didn't test them.

    30. JR

      Was ... They just never felt it?

  6. 12:25 – 15:39

    Parenting chaos: kids’ personalities, lying, swearing, and comedian households

    1. JR

      Yeah. My one kid, all she got was a l- like a minor headache, and the other one, it was a little worse, but she's one of those kids that, like, when she gets sick, she wants you to know, "I'm sick."

    2. TS

      Oh, right. (laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    3. JR

      My one kid doesn't give a fuck.

    4. TS

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      Like, she's ... It's funny-

    6. TS

      These guys-

    7. JR

      ... out of the box, they're so different.

    8. TS

      They're so different. They're so different.

    9. JR

      So crazy.

    10. TS

      This morning, I was working out and my oldest s- kid came in to the gym at home, naked-

    11. JR

      (sucks teeth)

    12. TS

      ... bent over and goes, "Look at my ass."

    13. JR

      (laughs)

    14. TS

      And I was like, "Yeah. I see it."

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. TS

      And he goes, "Look at it!" And I was like, "I see it! Get the fuck outta here, man."

    17. JR

      (laughs)

    18. TS

      He's like, "Do you see my ass?"

    19. JR

      (sucks teeth) (laughs)

    20. TS

      I go, "Yeah, I see your ass, man." They both are in that thing, where like, my three-year-old-

    21. JR

      (sighs) (laughs)

    22. TS

      ... he's like, uh, in the ... Like yester- last week, he goes, "There's no school today." And I go, "Really?" And he goes, "Yeah. Teacher said no school." I go, "The teacher said no school?" It was like fucking Wednesday. I go, "Really? Should I call you?" He goes, "Don't do that."

    23. JR

      (laughs)

    24. TS

      I was like, "He's already, like, lying about going to school." He's three.

    25. JR

      (laughs)

    26. TS

      (laughs) And it's just like ... And it's just-

    27. JR

      That's hilarious! Don't do that.

    28. TS

      Yeah. Don't do that. Don't tell people.

    29. JR

      (laughs)

    30. TS

      You know what he's been saying since he was two? If he's eating something like ice cream, you go, "Can I have a bite of that?" He'll go, "It's sour." Like, he learned that sour is undesirable.

  7. 15:39 – 20:03

    Tom’s dad: taint photos, Vietnam memories, and abrupt dark-topic transitions

    1. TS

      Dude, I've been hanging out with my parents a good bit lately, and my dad ... So like a month ago, I get a series of texts that are photos that are clearly somewhere on the human body, but it's so punched in, I don't know what I'm looking at. I'm like, "What is this?" And it's like three photos in a row. I'm like, "What is this?" And then he calls me, he goes, "Did you see what I sent you?" And I go, "Yeah. What is that?" He goes, "That's between my scrotum and my anus."

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. TS

      And I go, "What? What the fuck, man?"

    4. JR

      (laughs)

    5. TS

      And he's like, "I got an infection down there."

    6. JR

      (laughs)

    7. TS

      And I go, "Why are you sending me photos?" He's like, "So you can see what I'm talking about."

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. TS

      I go, "You could just say it." And then- (laughs)

    10. JR

      But you don't even know what you're looking at.

    11. TS

      I don't know what I'm looking at. I'm like, "What is this?"

    12. JR

      (laughs)

    13. TS

      And then my mother's like, "He makes me take pictures." And I show them to him and he goes, "That's not good enough. Take another one."

    14. JR

      (laughs)

    15. TS

      So she's like ... He's like holding his legs up like a child changing a diaper.

    16. JR

      (laughs)

    17. TS

      And my mother is snapping photos of an infection on his taint.

    18. JR

      Oh, my God.

    19. TS

      And then he's like, "They had to cut something out of me and sew it up."

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. TS

      And I'm like, "All right."

    22. JR

      Cut something out of his tain?

    23. TS

      Yeah. He had an infection, he said there. And then-

    24. JR

      That bad?

    25. TS

      Yeah, I guess that bad.

    26. JR

      Oh.

    27. TS

      And then I see him three weeks ago in person. He comes to a show and he's like, "Come here. Let me show you something." I'm like, "All right." And then on an iPad, like the big iPad, it's the photos, but full screen. I'm like, "Your taint again?"

    28. JR

      (laughs)

    29. TS

      And he's like, "Did I show you this?" I go-

    30. JR

      (laughs)

  8. 20:03 – 23:31

    Afghanistan withdrawal, Biden coverage, and news fatigue

    1. JR

      Yeah. The fuck is going on in Afghanistan, huh?

    2. TS

      That is such a fucking shit show.

    3. JR

      The shittiest of shit shows.

    4. TS

      And I, and I'm, I feel so... I feel terrible for, I mean, the people that have... Like, like my dad, but now that enlisted or, you know, have participated in trying to maintain or do the right thing or, you know, represent their country. All these poor Afghani people who are brutalized by this insane regime and are left alone, can't fend for themselves and-

    5. JR

      Well, not only that. There's a database of all the ones who helped Americans, and they have it.

    6. TS

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      So, they're just going door to door trying to find these people that helped the Americans.

    8. TS

      Yeah. You know what they do a lot of times too? Is, like, they'll... They find out, like, you helped the Americans, and they, they torture and kill your kids in front of you.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. TS

      And that's, that's your punishment.

    11. JR

      (inhales deeply)

    12. TS

      Fucking crazy.

    13. JR

      This is the, the strangest time to, to read the news or watch the news too, because there's still people scrambling to try to pretend that Biden is doing a good job.

    14. TS

      I have, I've... I'll be honest with you. I've never been more checked out of, like... I've always been, like, a news consumer, you know?

    15. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    16. TS

      Like, as, as, pretty much my whole life. I've paid very little attention. Um, I think I have almost, like, news fatigue from the last previous four years, where I get some of the big headlines, you know? You kind of just ingest them by-

    17. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    18. TS

      ... being aro- like, present. But I don't, I don't... I have, I've stopped really consuming that day-to-day headline American politics. I've-

    19. JR

      Good for you. Smart. It's not good for you.

    20. TS

      I don't know. I don't know if it is. I, I, I used to, like, just be a daily, you know, consumer of, of all the big news.

    21. JR

      But it feels like that doesn't help you.

    22. TS

      I don't think it does necessarily. I mean, you feel a little bit like you're not aware of everything, like, like I used to be. But, like, I c- I couldn't tell you really much of, like, any Biden news. I don't, I don't really know, honestly.

    23. JR

      Well, apparently, there was this meeting with the families, the Gold Star families, and he kept checking his watch and then-

    24. TS

      I, I did read... I saw the headline that somebody wrote about being at, at that Gold Star family meeting and bringing up his son.

    25. JR

      Yeah. Yeah.

    26. TS

      That there was a big criticism about... But I didn't read the article, I just read the headline.

    27. JR

      Yeah. He, he apparently kept checking his watch.

    28. TS

      Like, "I gotta get outta here?"

    29. JR

      I don't know. I mean, he's-

    30. TS

      "I'm bored."

  9. 23:31 – 30:45

    Texas abortion law debate: empathy, inconsistency, and where ‘life’ begins

    1. JR

      the president and the, and the party. You know? This is real clear, is that, like, the other side is evil and that this side is our only hope. And so ignore a lot of the inadequacies and the failures of this administration and concentrate entirely on, you know, like, January 6th and this and whatever, whatever other negative aspects. And, and now this fucking Texas abortion bill. Like, what in the fuck is this?

    2. TS

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      How did that happen?

    4. TS

      I have no idea.

    5. JR

      I have no idea. I didn't even know it was up for vote.

    6. TS

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      Jamie, do you know what happened? No?

    8. TS

      But that has, that has also-

    9. JR

      Six weeks?

    10. TS

      That, yeah, that's caused a huge shit storm.

    11. JR

      Do, did you ever see wh- th- when they show you what a six-week-old...

    12. TS

      I mean, it's like a bean, right? Or a bean.

    13. JR

      It's like a, a grain of rice.

    14. TS

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      It's the tiniest thing.

    16. TS

      And, like, that's just...... it s- seems like it's just a way for, like, the Republicans and the state to dig in their heels on something. Like, "We, we got this one."

    17. JR

      (sighs) Is that g- that's just gonna force people to vote Democratic.

    18. TS

      I mean, yeah, or-

    19. JR

      I mean, that's the stupidest thing. I- and if that's their, their thought process behind it, it's the dumbest thing. And it doesn't, it doesn't line up with the national laws.

    20. TS

      Mm-mm.

    21. JR

      You know? It's, um, it's not good, man. It's not good.

    22. TS

      Yeah.

    23. JR

      And it's not good also because it's, it's clearly a religious-based law, right?

    24. TS

      It is. I still, I still struggle with the ide- like, why s- I mean, I get... 'Cause I was raised, you know, by Catholics-

    25. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    26. TS

      ... in a Catholic home. But, like, when you reach adulthood, why you don't feel like this should be something that women decide for themselves. Like, w- why, why do, do so many guys think... You're not carrying it, man.

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. TS

      Like, you, you really think that, like, y- you should weigh in on what a woman does? I don't understand that. Like, if that was in our body- (laughs)

    29. JR

      Right.

    30. TS

      ... there's no way we would let anybody who's not a guy weigh in on this.

  10. 30:45 – 34:23

    Smell/taste distortions after COVID: ‘everything smells like farts’ + possible remedies

    1. JR

      Yeah. They're the ultimate ho. (coughing) Uh, so wait. By the way, we were saying, you didn't have any, um, loss of smell or taste?

    2. TS

      No. No, none.

    3. JR

      Lucky man.

    4. TS

      No. Yeah, I got lucky. Well, I mean, it didn't have a chance. I j- I jumped on it so quick.

    5. JR

      I, I, I-

    6. TS

      And also, I think, I... My body was so filled up with vitamins that even though I got it, it's like, the, the preparation was there, you know. And that was the only time that I wasn't taking ivermectin prophylactically, which is supposed to be, according to Dr. Pierre Kory, supposed to be, uh, the best use of it. There, there's a study... Find out if this... This, a study out of Argentina, uh, prophylaxis use of ivermectin in, um, uh, critical care workers. That was where, uh, they had, they had given it to a bunch of doctors and nurses. And the pe-... And they, they gave it to them as a preventative measure. And it helped?

    7. JR

      Yeah, that's supposed to be the best use of it, as a preventative measure.

    8. TS

      Do you know the, um... So I had loss of smell-

    9. JR

      Yeah.

    10. TS

      ... which, which came back mostly.

    11. JR

      They say alpha-lipoic acid, according to Huberman. Andrew Huberman says-

    12. TS

      Can restore it?

    13. JR

      Yeah.

    14. NA

      When I Googled it, that's the study that s- is, in quotes, "flawed" according to Nature.com.

    15. TS

      Oh. You know, um, the three things that smell and somewhat taste?

    16. JR

      Farts?

    17. TS

      They, they don't smell the same at all.

    18. JR

      What do they smell like, flowers?

    19. TS

      No. Just, you're like, it just smells like o-... It doesn't smell like it used to. (laughs)

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. TS

      They're not good, but they-

    22. JR

      So if you cut one of your own farts-

    23. TS

      I'm like... It almost smells like a stranger's. I'm like, "Hmm, when was that?"

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. TS

      That's not one of mine.

    26. NA

      (laughs) You're, like, enjoying.

    27. TS

      Yeah, that doesn't smell the same. Um, lemons, limes, and toothpaste.

    28. JR

      All smell good?

    29. TS

      No. All smell like farts.

    30. NA

      They don't smell good?

  11. 34:23 – 38:54

    Tour health tactics: IV drips on the road, Chappelle’s habits, vaccines after infection

    1. JR

      Yeah. We, um, we got... I got, uh, Tony on it too. Tony did not get sick. Tony was with us. We, we were all... You know, we were together in Florida.

    2. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JR

      Lara, even though she was, uh, vaccinated, she still got it.

    4. TS

      She was there?

    5. JR

      Yeah. She opened for us. Lara Bites.

    6. TS

      Oh, yeah. She's great.

    7. JR

      She's great.

    8. TS

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      Hilarious.

    10. TS

      Great. And-

    11. JR

      She did a fucking fantastic job too.

    12. TS

      Uh, crazy transformation too.

    13. JR

      Yeah. Isn't it amazing?

    14. TS

      She looks fantastic.

    15. JR

      Well, and that she did that because of COVID. She was scared of being overweight.

    16. TS

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      And, and now she's a fitness fanatic.

    18. TS

      She looks fantastic.

    19. JR

      And when we go out to eat, she won't touch anything with gluten, no added sugar.

    20. TS

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      She eats super healthy.

    22. TS

      That's awesome.

    23. JR

      She exercises all the time.

    24. TS

      Good for her.

    25. JR

      She's super disciplined.

    26. TS

      And-

    27. JR

      She's so disciplined, with her writing, with her comedy, with her, her exercise. She-

    28. TS

      And she got sick? Didn't get sick?

    29. JR

      She got sick.

    30. TS

      And how, how did she...

  12. 38:54 – 47:04

    Public scrutiny & lifestyle lessons: alcohol, sleep, Sober October, and yoga challenge planning

    1. TS

      How crazy is it for you, or maybe you're immune to it now from having so much public scrutiny, but, like, having people wish you got sicker?

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. TS

      Isn't that crazy to you?

    4. JR

      I didn't pay attention.

    5. TS

      It's crazy to me. I mean, I've had people, you know, wish harm on me and threaten me and tell me they wish I was dead and all this stuff. But-

    6. JR

      Fun.

    7. TS

      Yeah, you're like, "Cool, man. Uh, (laughs) thanks for watching the special." Um, but it's like, when you're sick-

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. TS

      ... people are like, "I wish you were more sick. Goddamn."

    10. JR

      Well, the good news is I was only sick for a day.

    11. TS

      That's true, yeah.

    12. JR

      (laughs)

    13. TS

      It's just, it's just wild that there's people, they're like, "I wish you were more sick. I wish-"

    14. JR

      Yeah, well-

    15. TS

      "... I wish you were in the hospital right now."

    16. JR

      ... because I wasn't scared during the entire pandemic, what they would like is that when I did get sick, that I was really sick-

    17. TS

      Yeah, you learned your lesson.

    18. JR

      ... and then became really scared and learned my lesson.

    19. TS

      Yeah, yeah, that's true.

    20. JR

      And instead, it's the worst case scenario for them.

    21. TS

      Right.

    22. JR

      I bounce back about-

    23. TS

      In a day.

    24. JR

      ... as quick as you fucking can.

    25. TS

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      And they're haters.

    27. TS

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      But that's their life. You gotta live like that.

    29. TS

      That's true.

    30. JR

      Imagine spending any time whatsoever wishing that a person felt bad.

  13. 47:04 – 53:13

    Hollywood logistics: quarantine demands, rejecting film roles, and ‘shoot me into space’ offers

    1. TS

      And they have, like, crazy protocols on these sets, you know?

    2. JR

      Oh, I could imagine.

    3. TS

      I think you get tested walking in and walking out, and you saw the-

    4. JR

      Do you have to isolate?

    5. TS

      I don't know if you have to i- You probably, when you get to set, yes.

    6. JR

      I would imagine.

    7. TS

      On a big production, you get to set, like, you arrive... 'Cause I booked a movie, well, I, I got offered a movie, I should say, uh, that I would have been shooting instead of breaking my body, and the reason that I turned it down was how long they wanted me to do, for the movie.

    8. JR

      How long they wanted you to isolate?

    9. TS

      So, they're like... This is how it happened. I get offered the movie in October of last year, and they go, the mo- you're gonna, it's, let's say 12 to 15 days, so like a pretty decent sized part in this movie. So I go, "Okay." And it starts shooting, let's say, you know, December 1st. I go, "All right." They go, "Well, they need you a few days before, a week before, and that you'll shoot for most of the month of December." And I, I... It lined up to be about three to four weeks. So I was like, "All right." And I go, "Well, it looks like you have to be there during Thanksgiving." So I'm like, "Okay." So I, I basically, I, I tell Christina, "Well, what I'll do is I'm gonna rent a house, and we'll all go there, and you spend a couple weeks there, and then go back, and I'll just finish my last couple weeks." We get closer to the, to the production date, and they go, "Hey, um, they're gonna need you now for five weeks." And I go, "What for?" And they go, "Well, they, they're extending how long you have to quarantine before you start production." So I was like... I thought about it and I was like, "Okay, I'll do it." Now, we're closer to production, and I get a call, "They need you for six weeks." And I go, "Why six weeks now?" And they go, "Well, if they have to shut down production..."... they need to know that they'll have you in case, you know-

    10. JR

      Oof.

    11. TS

      ... to, to shoot more. So now this, what was once a three-week gig is a six-week gig. And I still go, "All right, but that's it." And then the day... This is, like, two weeks before we shoot. The day, they go, "You're gonna talk to the director today." My agent calls: "Just so you know, they need you for seven weeks." And I go-

    12. JR

      What?

    13. TS

      ... "Tell them I'm not doing it."

    14. JR

      Wow.

    15. TS

      I go, "I'm not doing it, man." Like, you, you just turned a three-week gig into, like, two months.

    16. JR

      Yeah.

    17. TS

      I go, "I'm not, I'm, like, I'm not committing to that." And that's how I turned it down.

    18. JR

      Wow.

    19. TS

      It was way too long, because they needed, like... They wanted you to quarantine initially, like, seven to 10 days, then it was 14 days, then they wanted, like, a three-week window on the back that you stay there for in case somebody else... I was like, "I'm not doing this."

    20. JR

      The difference between you and a regular actor, like they don't understand, you make your money podcasting and standup.

    21. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    22. JR

      There's a big difference. They, like, they... For a regular actor, they're, they're happy to get a gig, and they go, "Well, okay, this is just, like, more time that I'm doing this gig."

    23. TS

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      For you, it's like, "Do you know how much money I'm gonna lose?"

    25. TS

      It is. And I, I have to say, I enjoy features, and I, I like it. It's an enjoyable thing. And I like that there's, like, a beginning and end date.

    26. JR

      Right.

    27. TS

      I, I, I enjoy that. But yeah-

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. TS

      ... two months to do this?

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  14. 53:13 – 1:00:44

    Billionaires in ‘space,’ the Kármán line debate, and Branson/Bezos comparisons

    1. TS

      Yeah.

    2. JR

      Right? I mean, is it... Is that really space?

    3. TS

      I don't know.

    4. JR

      'Cause people are arguing that it's not, right?

    5. TS

      Are they?

    6. JR

      Yeah, yeah. They're arguing that Jeff Bezos never really went into space and that Richard Branson never really went into space.

    7. TS

      That they just barely left the atmosphere kinda thing?

    8. JR

      But what is space? Like, what... How many feet do you have to be up? Like, a, a flight is, like, between 30 and 40-something thousand feet, right?

    9. TS

      Like commercial flight, yeah.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. TS

      They usually go to 35,000 is, like, the most-

    12. JR

      Yeah.

    13. TS

      ... typical.

    14. JR

      So what's space? How high do you have to get up?

    15. TS

      That's a good question. I don't know. I mean, I assume they're just leaving the atmosphere, right?

    16. JR

      So, uh, what is a mile? A mile's, like, 5,000 feet. Is that what it is?

    17. TS

      Do you think 5,300 or something like that, yeah.

    18. JR

      All right, so, so when you're up there on a regular commercial flight, you're, like, six-ish miles somewhere, five miles?

    19. TS

      Hmm.

    20. JR

      Six, six miles, seven miles. Like, when... How many miles is space?

    21. TS

      That's a good ques-

    22. JR

      Is it 50?

    23. TS

      How far is-

    24. NA

      Yes.

    25. JR

      50?

    26. NA

      Yes.

    27. TS

      50?

    28. NA

      According to the US military, the FAA, and NASA, 50 miles is where the line is.

    29. TS

      Mm-hmm.

    30. NA

      But 62 miles is the, like, legit line, the thermosphere.

  15. 1:00:44 – 1:11:50

    Arsonists, true crime spirals, and the psychology of compulsion

    1. JR

      There's a lot of, uh ... Do you know that, um, the fires in Northern California, speaking of people that hate billionaires, they busted a social justice professor for setting 'em?

    2. TS

      What?

    3. JR

      Yep. Yeah, here-

    4. TS

      He set them?

    5. JR

      Yeah. They ve- they busted this guy-

    6. TS

      What the fuck was he trying to do?

    7. JR

      He's a piece of shit, apparently. Um ...

    8. TS

      Was he trying to deliberately cause a massive fire?

    9. JR

      ... yes.

    10. TS

      Oh, cool.

    11. JR

      Not only was he, uh, apparently... The, the accusation is worse than that. The accusation is that he was trying to trap the firefighters in the fire. So, he was setting fires-

    12. TS

      What the fuck?

    13. JR

      ... behind them. Yeah. Former college professor accused of-

    14. TS

      Oh, former at least. Okay.

    15. JR

      ... serial arson is denied bail in California. It was... Pull up what he... scr- what it s- what he, he did.

    16. TS

      Gary Maynard?

    17. JR

      He was a... Yeah. He was a social justice professor, which is like, "What does that mean?" (sighs) Fucking terrifying, man, that this guy was a professor, just angry fuck. Based on that finding, the defendant will be detained as a risk of non-appearance and a danger to the community. Judge agreed-

    18. TS

      Oh, yeah.

    19. JR

      ... to the re-

    20. TS

      Yeah. You can't let this guy out, for sure.

    21. JR

      "No conditions or combination of conditions that would provide the necessary level of safety to this community should the defendant be released." Yeah, this is... Well, it's crazy that this guy was a professor.

    22. TS

      Holy shit.

    23. JR

      Yeah. Scroll up. Let's see what it s- uh, no. I mean d-... I'm sorry, down. See how they busted him. I know they busted him because his car got caught in the fire. Like, he was in the, the area where you're supposed to be evacuated and his car got caught there, and then they realized that he was actually setting fires. And not only was he setting fire, Maynard, 47, a former professor who has taught at all col-... By the way, so was the Unabomber, former professor.

    24. TS

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      Um-

    26. TS

      He taught criminology and criminal justice.

    27. JR

      (laughs) Yeah. Colleges in New York and California according to the online records. Last fall, he taught in the criminology and criminal justice department-

    28. TS

      Insane.

    29. JR

      ... at Sonoma State University, which says in its official bio that Maynard... uh, that he has a doctorate in sociology and three master's degrees. His teaching research, the school said, focuses on topics including the sociology of health, defiance, and crime.

    30. TS

      This is so crazy.

Episode duration: 2:59:53

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