Joe Rogan Experience #1703 - Tom Segura

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) My man. What's up?

   3. TSTom Segura0:12

      Hey, man. How are-

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      What's up, brother?

   5. TSTom Segura0:14

      Well, well, well.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Well, well, well.

   7. TSTom Segura0:15

      If it isn't old horse worm Rogan.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      (laughs)

   9. TSTom Segura0:19

      (laughs) I'm glad you're, I'm glad you're well, man.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       Bro, do I have to sue CNN?

   11. NANarrator0:23

       I don't know.

   12. TSTom Segura0:23

       I don't know. Do you?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       They're making shit up. They keep saying I'm taking horse dewormer. I literally got it from a doctor. It's an, uh, American company.

   14. TSTom Segura0:31

       Mm-hmm.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       It's, uh, it, they won the Nobel Prize in 2015 for use in human beings.

   16. TSTom Segura0:37

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       And CNN is saying I'm taking horse dewormer.

   18. TSTom Segura0:41

       Yeah, what, so-

   19. NANarrator0:41

       Well, that's-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       They must know that that's a lie.

   21. NANarrator0:43

       There's a lot of people saying it. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Right, but a lot of people can say it.

   23. NANarrator0:46

       Okay.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Like, the internet says it. Who cares?

   25. TSTom Segura0:48

       Sure. But it's-

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       But CNN is saying it.

   27. NANarrator0:51

       Well, anyway.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Like, Jim Acosta.

   29. NANarrator0:52

       I, I meant, like, uh, like, USA Today, a few other, like-

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (laughs) …

   1. TSTom Segura15:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      (laughs)

   3. TSTom Segura15:00

      They just ... Yeah. They're animals.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Well, once they see you're special too, they're like, "This motherfucker gets paid to swear."

   5. TSTom Segura15:05

      Yeah. Yeah. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:06

      "He's telling me not to swear. He swears in front of the whole world."

   7. TSTom Segura15:08

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      "This is crazy."

   9. TSTom Segura15:09

      Thank God we're not there yet.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:10

       Oof.

   11. TSTom Segura15:11

       It'll be a nightmare when we get there.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:12

       My kids have never seen me perform, but they did get to peek backstage. Um, not at a giant place though. It was at the Improv in Irvine.

   13. TSTom Segura15:20

       You don't think they snuck a peek on Netflix with you yet? 'Cause they're older kids, like, they're savvy.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:25

       Yeah, probably that.

   15. TSTom Segura15:27

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       Yeah. The 13-year-old's probably done that.

   17. TSTom Segura15:29

       Mm-hmm.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       But I mean, they haven't seen it live. Like, they s- they haven't seen like a, like an audience live.

   19. TSTom Segura15:35

       I don't know why you're surprised.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:36

       The older one certainly has, but the young ones ...

   21. TSTom Segura15:39

       Dude, I've been hanging out with my parents a good bit lately, and my dad ... So like a month ago, I get a series of texts that are photos that are clearly somewhere on the human body, but it's so punched in, I don't know what I'm looking at. I'm like, "What is this?" And it's like three photos in a row. I'm like, "What is this?" And then he calls me, he goes, "Did you see what I sent you?" And I go, "Yeah. What is that?" He goes, "That's between my scrotum and my anus."

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       (laughs)

   23. TSTom Segura16:09

       And I go, "What? What the fuck, man?"

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       (laughs)

   25. TSTom Segura16:12

       And he's like, "I got an infection down there."

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       (laughs)

   27. TSTom Segura16:15

       And I go, "Why are you sending me photos?" He's like, "So you can see what I'm talking about."

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:18

       (laughs)

   29. TSTom Segura16:19

       I go, "You could just say it." And then- (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:21

       But you don't even know what you're looking at.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   No, thanks. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

   2. TSTom Segura30:00

      No, thanks.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      (laughs)

   4. TSTom Segura30:02

      I'm not taking that shit.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Yeah, most guys... Well, anybody, a- anytime where you're interfering with someone's hormones in that regard-

   6. TSTom Segura30:08

      Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:09

      ... it's like, uh... But it's really bad for women, man. It's just not good for them at all. You know, the other options obviously are IUDs and condoms and some other... Those are way better for the woman's body. They, the pill's just terrible for you, 'cause it tricks your body into being pregnant. Your body just thinks you're the ultimate hoe.

   8. TSTom Segura30:26

      Yeah. (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:26

      Like, you're just pshh, you're pregnant all year round.

   10. TSTom Segura30:29

       I don't know if the doctors say that. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:31

       That's what the doctors say.

   12. TSTom Segura30:32

       You're the ultimate hoe. Here's what- (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:33

       That's what doctors say. Yeah, they all say it.

   14. TSTom Segura30:36

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       (laughs) They even wrote it. It's in the literature. (laughs)

   16. TSTom Segura30:39

       (laughs) In med school they're like, "Now, you'll have some hos walking in your room."

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Your body says-

   18. TSTom Segura30:43

       And when they do, give them this pill.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       Yeah. They're the ultimate ho. (coughing) Uh, so wait. By the way, we were saying, you didn't have any, um, loss of smell or taste?

   20. TSTom Segura30:53

       No. No, none.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       Lucky man.

   22. TSTom Segura30:54

       No. Yeah, I got lucky. Well, I mean, it didn't have a chance. I j- I jumped on it so quick.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       I, I, I-

   24. TSTom Segura30:59

       And also, I think, I... My body was so filled up with vitamins that even though I got it, it's like, the, the preparation was there, you know. And that was the only time that I wasn't taking ivermectin prophylactically, which is supposed to be, according to Dr. Pierre Kory, supposed to be, uh, the best use of it. There, there's a study... Find out if this... This, a study out of Argentina, uh, prophylaxis use of ivermectin in, um, uh, critical care workers. That was where, uh, they had, they had given it to a bunch of doctors and nurses. And the pe-... And they, they gave it to them as a preventative measure. And it helped?

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:42

       Yeah, that's supposed to be the best use of it, as a preventative measure.

   26. TSTom Segura31:46

       Do you know the, um... So I had loss of smell-

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:48

       Yeah.

   28. TSTom Segura31:48

       ... which, which came back mostly.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:50

       They say alpha-lipoic acid, according to Huberman. Andrew Huberman says-

   30. TSTom Segura31:54

       Can restore it?
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. Um, I don't…

   1. TSTom Segura45:00

      get that angry.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:01

      Yeah. Um, I don't know if he'd be interested in doing Sober October.

   3. TSTom Segura45:04

      You'll do it? You'll do the, you'll do yoga again?

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      Oh, yeah.

   5. TSTom Segura45:06

      I'll do yoga for that one.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      I'm 100% down for that. I think that would be good for me. I think I need to do that, 'cause mostly I've been doing, you know, I've been doing a lot of cardio, getting ready for elk hunting season.

   7. TSTom Segura45:17

      Mm-hmm.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:17

      That's been mostly what I've been doing.

   9. TSTom Segura45:18

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:18

       Cardio and-

   11. TSTom Segura45:19

       You look leaner.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:20

       Yeah.

   13. TSTom Segura45:20

       You look thinned out.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       Well, that was a good thing about the, the COVID, that I lost a little weight.

   15. TSTom Segura45:24

       Hey.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       Eh.

   17. TSTom Segura45:25

       Find the positive in anything.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:26

       Eh. I was planning on getting down into the 90s. I wanted to get down to, like, 190... Ideally, like, 193, 192, and I'm 195 now, so...

   19. TSTom Segura45:37

       Okay. Well, if you'll do it, I'll do it, and we'll-

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       Let's do it.

   21. TSTom Segura45:39

       ... let's call the, let's call the boys and see if they'll do it too.

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       Yeah. Uh, nothing crazy. Let's do 15, but the thing is-

   23. TSTom Segura45:45

       That'd be great too, because-

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:45

       ... we're all in other places too.

   25. TSTom Segura45:47

       Yeah, but, like, on the road, that's a fun thing to, "Hey, find a place we can go today."

   26. JRJoe Rogan45:50

       Yeah.

   27. TSTom Segura45:50

       And like-

   28. JRJoe Rogan45:51

       Yeah.

   29. TSTom Segura45:51

       ... it gives you, like, something to aim for, and it's a healthy-

   30. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:10:49

   Hm. …

   1. NANarrator1:00:00

      off course, according to the New Yorker Magazine.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:03

      Hm.

   3. TSTom Segura1:00:03

      What-

   4. NANarrator1:00:03

      They're trying to find out how far off course it went.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      Oh. Off course?

   6. NANarrator1:00:08

      Yeah. So it went up, but maybe not the direction it was supposed to go. I don't know.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

      Look how flimsy that rocket looks. I mean, those little things stuck on the side looks like they would snap right off.

   8. TSTom Segura1:00:20

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      What the fuck are those things?

   10. TSTom Segura1:00:21

       In the photo, that doesn't look-

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:23

       That looks super non-confidence building. (laughs)

   12. TSTom Segura1:00:27

       (laughs) Yeah, that looks ...

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       Look at him. "Ah."

   14. TSTom Segura1:00:29

       Oh my God.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

       It is, it, like-

   16. TSTom Segura1:00:31

       He parties, but-

   17. NANarrator1:00:32

       He's a good time.

   18. TSTom Segura1:00:32

       ... it looks like fun.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:33

       Have you ever met him?

   20. TSTom Segura1:00:34

       No, but I imagine-

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       A lot, a lot of people are mad at these billionaire characters for going into space. Like, think about-

   22. TSTom Segura1:00:39

       A lot of them are mad for just being billionaires too.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       Yeah, there's that.

   24. TSTom Segura1:00:41

       People hate billionaires.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       Yeah. There's a lot of that going on.

   26. TSTom Segura1:00:44

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:44

       There's a lot of, uh ... Do you know that, um, the fires in Northern California, speaking of people that hate billionaires, they busted a social justice professor for setting 'em?

   28. TSTom Segura1:00:54

       What?

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       Yep. Yeah, here-

   30. TSTom Segura1:00:55

       He set them?

Episode duration: 2:59:53