Joe Rogan Experience #1728 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are standup comedians, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker. His special "Shane Gillis: Live in Austin," is available via YouTube. Mark is the co-host of "Tuesdays with Stories" along with Joe List. His latest special, "Mark Normand: Out to Lunch," is available via YouTube. Ari is the host of "The Skeptic Tank." His most recent special, "Ari Shaffir: Double Negative," is available via Netflix.

Joe RoganhostAri ShaffirguestMark NormandguestShane Gillisguest

Jun 27, 20243h 2mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,004 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. NANarrator
  (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. NANarrator
  The Joe Rogan Experience. (rock music)
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. This is basically a super show, ladies and gentlemen. Shane Gillis.
4. ASAri Shaffir
  Hey, super spreader of love.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Ari Shaffir.
6. NANarrator
  What's happening?
7. JRJoe Rogan
  And Mark Normand with a mask on. He's got a shtick going.
8. MNMark Normand
  Hey. Just wanna be safe.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  We just saw your, uh, antibodies. Y- we all have antibodies except Ari.
10. ASAri Shaffir
  I ha- I have other things, guys. I'm on a different level.
11. MNMark Normand
  Ve- ve-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  You have the most bitch ass antibody line from that vaccine.
13. MNMark Normand
  (laughs) Auschwitz.
14. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
15. JRJoe Rogan
  And you had it in June?
16. ASAri Shaffir
  I had that-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  So July, August, September, October, November, five months. It's useless.
18. ASAri Shaffir
  Wait, July, August, September, October, November. Five months?
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Useless.
20. ASAri Shaffir
  Does nothing.
21. MNMark Normand
  There are weaker people.
22. ASAri Shaffir
  And yet I've never gotten it. I've survived everything. Overdoses.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  It's amazing. It's amazing.
24. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah. Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  It's amazing.
26. ASAri Shaffir
  Resilience. Resilience over strength.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Maybe it's all the drugs. Maybe it's the drugs. Maybe the drugs.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  Kills everything else. Kills brain cells, can't kill those cells?
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. That's good. Th- I like how you're thinking.
30. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs) Prove me wrong.
15:00 – 30:00
Yep. …
1. JRJoe Rogan
  need a shlap.
2. SGShane Gillis
  Yep.
3. You gotta raise it a little bit more.
4. Ah, sorry.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Sometimes y- you've shuttled it... This, so this is, uh...
6. SGShane Gillis
  Wait, this is a movie.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  This is a movie.
8. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Just not real.
10. SGShane Gillis
  Hold on, Jamo, I'm talking about a real, uh, fisticuffs in a bar.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Wait, is that on, is that on camera somewhere?
12. SGShane Gillis
  I don't know about that, but there's a, there's a clipping.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  There's an article about it?
14. SGShane Gillis
  Oh yeah.
15. I got something coming up on it.
16. Here we go.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, a lot of those old Irish and Scottish actors, like those guys would get in fights all the time. VB in Stabbings.
18. SGShane Gillis
  Well, he said he was in his 20s when this happened, so there's no video of it.
19. Oh. All right, all right.
20. But he said, it says he beat up four guys in a wild night out.
21. Oh. Who? One of those guys was Sean Connery.
22. (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  These Scottish people with their tall tales.
24. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
25. JRJoe Rogan
  (Laughs) Yeah.
26. SGShane Gillis
  Then he beat up the Loch Ness.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, what did these guys look like?
28. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, that's true. It's back in the day.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  It's, it's a weird character. It's like th- it's a character you can't really keep going over and over and over and over again, the James Bond character. Yeah. And now they're gonna do it with a new person.
30. SGShane Gillis
  Like black?
30:00 – 45:00
Yeah. …
1. JRJoe Rogan
2. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
3. SGShane Gillis
  His monologue was great.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  But Burr's one of those guys that like, he, he wants to do like iconic venues just, just to say-
5. SGShane Gillis
  Hearst City.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  You know, he's got like a nostalgia-
7. MNMark Normand
  He's sentimental.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  ... to him, yeah, yeah.
9. MNMark Normand
  Like he did that theater in England 'cause he saw a Zeppelin-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
11. MNMark Normand
  ... there or whatever the hell.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Exactly, exactly. Yeah, Burr loves that kind of shit.
13. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, he'll... He says he goes to stadiums when he's on the road alone just to see it.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Does he really?
15. MNMark Normand
  No, he's a big nerd.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  He's an interesting guy.
17. ASAri Shaffir
  He's a sports nerd.
18. MNMark Normand
  Oh, yeah.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Oh, he's a giant sports nerd. Sometimes I'll listen to his podcast. He'll just rant and rave about certain plays and games-
20. ASAri Shaffir
  You don't even know what you're talking about.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and they're just losing them.
22. MNMark Normand
  Same.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't even know the rules.... I'm a professional sports broadcaster-
24. SGShane Gillis
  It is, yeah.
25. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and I don't know the rules to most sports.
27. SGShane Gillis
  I can't believe you don't like football that much.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, believe it.
29. SGShane Gillis
  You, du- you should.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  It's not Santa Claus, bro.
45:00 – 56:52
Just fucking creatine and…
1. ASAri Shaffir
  300-pound men just sitting there, just destroying farts.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Just fucking creatine and protein.
3. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
4. ASAri Shaffir
  I just was bad. I was bad, that's why.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, as an astronaut?
6. ASAri Shaffir
  I sucked.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, you sucked at football.
8. MNMark Normand
  That sucks, though.
9. ASAri Shaffir
  No, no, it didn't smell. I just wasn't good.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Right, if you were top grade.
11. MNMark Normand
  Oh.
12. ASAri Shaffir
  If you were a starter, if you were a starter, it'd be like, "Geez."
13. JRJoe Rogan
  If I was a starter, it'd be like, "Ho ho. Good luck."
14. MNMark Normand
  Lawrence Taylor farts.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Lawrence brought it.
16. ASAri Shaffir
  Yes.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  People give him knuck rights. Right, Joe's got a, Joe's got a reference.
18. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, I know football guys.
20. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs) As Lawrence Taylor. Very nice.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  I've seen a few football guys.
22. ASAri Shaffir
  Nice.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. He was a big guy. He m- He was great. Everybody knew him. Yeah, yeah. Great.
24. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, he did crack. Played linebacker. Fucked people up.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Whoo.
26. MNMark Normand
  Ray Lewis.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Did a crack? There's another one. Ray Lewis.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  Herschel Walker.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Herschel Walker. Killed a guy playing linebacker. (laughs) I, I think he killed a guy. Someone with him killed a guy.
30. ASAri Shaffir
  Allegedly.

Episode duration: 3:02:53

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(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

Yep. …

Yeah. …

Just fucking creatine and…

Get more out of YouTube videos.