Joe Rogan Experience #1729 - Gilbert Gottfried

Narrator 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (instrumental music)

Joe Rogan 0:12 Hello, Gilbert.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:13 Oh, hello.

Joe Rogan 0:14 It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I can't believe I haven't met you.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:17 It's-

Gilbert Gottfried 0:17 I know.

Joe Rogan 0:17 ... been a while.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:18 Tha- Yeah, I don't think... Yeah, I don't think we've ever met.

Joe Rogan 0:22 No, it's, uh... We just must have just missed each other at every club.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:26 Yeah. Yeah, like, I-

Joe Rogan 0:28 Which is kinda crazy.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:29 Y- Yes, and we haven't even run into each other at the morning radio, uh, stations-

Joe Rogan 0:35 No, nothing.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:36 ... where I'll, I'll usually run into comics.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:40 You know, doing like Captain Bob and Crazy Jim in his morning zoo.

Joe Rogan 0:45 Yeah, those are a lot of fun.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:46 Are those s- around anymore? You still do those things?

Gilbert Gottfried 0:49 I don't... Uh, is radio totally dead now?

Joe Rogan 0:52 It's not dead, but it's definitely on life support.

Gilbert Gottfried 0:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:55 It's just, they're censored, you know? It's... And it's, you know, local, it's only like a, a small round arrange, unless you're on satellite radio. And satellite radio's kinda odd too, 'cause there's the internet. You can't really... You know, satellite radio is, it's hard for them to compete with the internet.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12 So, uh, radio's on life support, and movies are on life support.

Joe Rogan 1:19 (clicks tongue) Movies are doing good apparently.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:20 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 1:21 People are going to the movies. These reckless young folks, they don't give a fuck about diseases.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24 Yeah. No, I, I think even before, even before like it was, uh, e- the pandemic, movies, you know, they've got to that point where it's like, a movie would be in theaters and also, uh, at, at home on TV, so-

Joe Rogan 1:41 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:41 ... people... I think movies are gonna go the way of Vaudeville.

Joe Rogan 1:45 You think so?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:46 Yeah. Yeah, I really think so.

Joe Rogan 1:49 But people like to go out, r-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:50 Oh, yeah, those-

Joe Rogan 1:51 Like, people like to go out to a comedy show.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:52 Yeah. It's... I, I, I hope they keep (laughs) liking that, but-

Joe Rogan 1:56 Do you think we'll ever get to a point where there's gonna be virtual comedy clubs, where you'll be at home and you'll be watching stand-up, like, in an audience? Like, you'll e- you'll feel like you're in an audience 'cause you're watching them live. Like, you'll be able to buy a ticket for like Zanies at 8:00 PM on Friday, but you'll be able to watch it from home.

Gilbert Gottfried 2:13 So you could sit in your underwear-

Joe Rogan 2:15 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 2:15 ... and watch? I, I th- I think so. I... 'Cause, I mean, already, like, I did a show on the internet, and, uh, other people have done stand-up on the internet during the pandemic, and it shows sh- you really... So they could put it... And, and, I think they could put in an audience there with you.

Joe Rogan 2:39 Well, I think, uh, they're doing stuff like that now where you'll have like... John Heffron was doing this before. Do you know John Heffron, Kong?

Gilbert Gottfried 2:47 Uh, I, I probably have spoken to him 500 times-

Joe Rogan 2:51 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 2:51 ... and don't remember him.

Joe Rogan 2:53 Very funny guy.

Gilbert Gottfried 2:53 (laughs) Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:54 Anyway, John, uh, before the pandemic, was doing these corporate gigs where they would bring him to a place, and he would stand in front of an array of screens, like 30 or 40 screens, and he would do his act, and you could see the people, their faces, like-

Gilbert Gottfried 3:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:10 ... they were audience members.

Gilbert Gottfried 3:12 Oh, so I... Yeah, yeah, I definitely could see that happening, the same, uh... I... Here's something I wonder. If, are they ever going to build, like they make, uh, animatronic people, or what, what's it called when it's half animatronic and half person?

Joe Rogan 3:34 Cyborg?

Gilbert Gottfried 3:35 Cyborg. Are there ever gonna be... I'm sure they will have it, cyborg hookers?

Joe Rogan 3:41 Oh yeah, for sure.

Gilbert Gottfried 3:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:42 It'll probably be more robot hookers, 'cause people will still be concerned about an actual biological human who's a hooker.

Gilbert Gottfried 3:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:49 Which is odd. You know who no one gives a fuck about? Male hookers.

Gilbert Gottfried 3:53 No. No.

Joe Rogan 3:53 No one's trying to protect male hookers.

Gilbert Gottfried 3:54 No, nothing.

Joe Rogan 3:56 Not at all.

Gilbert Gottfried 3:56 They, they could all get killed.

Joe Rogan 3:58 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 4:00 (laughs) It's like...

Joe Rogan 4:00 It's true.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:01 Yeah. It's like-

Joe Rogan 4:02 As long as they're adults-

Gilbert Gottfried 4:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:03 ... you know, grown adult men-

Gilbert Gottfried 4:04 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:04 ... no one gives a shit about, like, a 40-year-old male hooker.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:07 Oh, God, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:08 No one, no sympathy.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:09 Yeah, you don't even wanna think about-

Joe Rogan 4:11 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:12 ... a male hooker. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:13 But it's like, the guy gets no sympathy.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:15 None. None whatsoever.

Joe Rogan 4:16 Uh, a 40-year-old woman who's walking the street is sad.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:19 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:20 A 40-year-old guy looking to suck dicks for-

Gilbert Gottfried 4:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:22 ... a little extra money, literally no one feels bad for him.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:25 See, so I think we should have more sympathy (laughs) for guys who suck dicks for like-

Joe Rogan 4:31 Or we should have an even amount of sympathy, you know? I... I mean, but we always feel-

Gilbert Gottfried 4:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:35 ... more sympathetic to women who are down and out, like women-

Gilbert Gottfried 4:38 I-

Joe Rogan 4:38 ... homeless people, I feel bad for.

Gilbert Gottfried 4:40 I remember they once did an ex- They once, uh, on TV, they once filmed... They had a hidden camera by an air pump at a gas station, and, uh, they... Like, they'd have like a pretty girl show up with, with her bicycle, and go, "I, I don't know how to operate this thing. I, I'm all confused," and a million guys would run over, "Oh, oh, it's okay. This is very complicated, let me do it for you." And then they'd have a guy with a bicycle say, "I don't know," and they'd say, "What are you, an asshole?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:21 (laughs) Men don't get to break, Gilbert.

Gilbert Gottfried 5:24 No.

Joe Rogan 5:24 It's horrible.

Gilbert Gottfried 5:25 No.

Joe Rogan 5:25 It's sad out there, but it is true, because the guys are probably trying to fuck the woman.

Gilbert Gottfried 5:30 Yes.

Joe Rogan 5:31 Or at least get her to like them, 'cause men like it when women like us.

Gilbert Gottfried 5:36 And, um, I remember one time sitting in like, it was like a bus ter- or a train terminal, and there was some pretty girl there with her dog, and I thought, "Boy, it's amazing how many guys at this terminal are curious what kind of dog that is-" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:58 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 5:58 "... and, (laughs) and what kind of pet it makes." You know? It's such... Every guy was like, "Oh, uh, what a nice dog. What kind of-" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:07 Yeah. It's a trick.Yeah, and like guys with puppies. That's why they get puppies, they get puppies to get the opposite.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:14 Yes.

Joe Rogan 6:14 So the women come up-

Gilbert Gottfried 6:16 Yes.

Joe Rogan 6:16 ... to 'em, "Oh my God, so cute, so cute." Especially guys with like a little puppy.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:20 Oh, oh, oh forget it.

Joe Rogan 6:22 A little, little Shih Tzu puppy.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:23 Yes.

Joe Rogan 6:23 You know something like that.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:26 (laughs) It's a trap.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:29 It's a trap. How many guys actually get puppies just so the women pay attention to them?

Gilbert Gottfried 6:33 Oh-

Joe Rogan 6:33 A lot.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:34 I, I'm, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:35 For sure.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:35 Yeah, I'm sure, and then when they don't wind up getting laid, they kill the puppy or some shit.

Joe Rogan 6:40 Or they bring it to the pound.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:41 Yes, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:42 Yeah, or they give it to a friend.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:43 Or they try to give it to a girl.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:45 Yeah, and then she still won't fuck them. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:49 Sad times.

Gilbert Gottfried 6:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:50 Sad times. So, uh, how has the pandemic treated you? How, how've you, uh, handled it? Did you get COVID?

Gilbert Gottfried 6:58 Uh, no, no.

Joe Rogan 6:59 You get, did you get vaccinated?

Gilbert Gottfried 7:00 No, knock wood. Uh, yeah, I got the two regular shots and I even got the booster.

Joe Rogan 7:08 And everything's fine? You good to go?

Gilbert Gottfried 7:09 Yeah, yeah. They, uh, knock wood, uh, 5,000 times.

Joe Rogan 7:13 Yeah, knocking some wood for you.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:14 Now, now did you get it?

Joe Rogan 7:16 I got COVID.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:17 Yeah, yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:18 And, and how was that?

Joe Rogan 7:19 Not bad.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:19 (laughs) So do you recommend it?

Joe Rogan 7:23 No, I don't recommend it.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:25 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:25 No, it's, uh, it's definitely dangerous.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:26 It's, uh, I recommend you being as healthy as possible, but, uh, when I got it, I got good treatment and I was better in a couple of days.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:34 Oh good.

Joe Rogan 7:34 Yeah. Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:35 Yeah, 'cause, uh, I, I just remember when the, when it was going full force.

Joe Rogan 7:42 Mm-hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:43 And, uh, you couldn't watch a TV show. Everything was reports on it-

Joe Rogan 7:48 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 7:48 ... and it would be like, "Oh, it's doing better this week. It's only 500,000 dead." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:55 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 7:56 And so that, that was scary.

Joe Rogan 8:00 Well, it was, uh, it was real scary in New York City, right? Like New York City's-

Gilbert Gottfried 8:04 Uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:04 ... everybody's on top of each other, which is-

Gilbert Gottfried 8:06 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:06 ... facilitates that kinda spread.

Gilbert Gottfried 8:10 Yeah, and um, yeah, but as, as far as me and then vaccine, I would get, uh, three vaccines a week-

Joe Rogan 8:19 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 8:20 ... if they said that was... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:23 How, how, how long did you wait before you did sets again?

Gilbert Gottfried 8:28 Um, it wasn't that far, uh, from now. I mean, it was still, you know, a couple, mm, six months ago, if that long.

Joe Rogan 8:38 So you waited like a year or so?

Gilbert Gottfried 8:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:40 No comedy for a year?

Gilbert Gottfried 8:40 Yeah, over a year.

Joe Rogan 8:42 How, where was that?

Gilbert Gottfried 8:43 Uh, I did, I went back and I did Caroline's in New York, and it, it's so funny how rusty you do get.

Joe Rogan 8:55 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 8:56 Because when I was doing it all the time, it's like, you know-

Joe Rogan 8:59 Normal.

Gilbert Gottfried 8:59 Yeah. Wake me up at three o'clock in the morning, and I will do my whole set-

Joe Rogan 9:04 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 9:05 ... on the phone to you.

Joe Rogan 9:06 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 9:06 And, (laughs) and now it was like, I was up there first of all thinking, "Is this really what I do for a living?"

Joe Rogan 9:15 Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 9:15 Yeah, it's like so all of a sudden, this, this isn't normal.

Joe Rogan 9:20 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 9:21 You know, I'm up here saying dumb shit, and-

Joe Rogan 9:24 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 9:24 ... people are laughing and clapping their hands, and then I feel bad if I say dumb shit, and them not clapping their hands. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:33 You know Ron White?

Gilbert Gottfried 9:34 Oh yes.

Joe Rogan 9:35 Yeah, Ron went about, uh, I think he went eight months without doing it, and we did a show in Austin.

Gilbert Gottfried 9:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:40 And before we did a show in Austin, he's like, "Well, I'm basically retired. I'm just gonna fucking play golf and hang out. I guess I'm done with comedy. I had a good time, but I mean fuck this. I mean I'm busy."

Gilbert Gottfried 9:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:51 And then, uh, we were gonna do a show here at Vulcan, uh, Vulcan Gas Company on 6th Street, and Ron decided to do a set, and he prepared, went over his material, went up and absolutely fucking annihilated, just destroyed.

Gilbert Gottfried 10:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:07 And then he gets off stage and he grabs me by both shoulders. He goes, "Whatever the fuck we have to do to keep doing this, we're gonna do this again."

Gilbert Gottfried 10:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:14 He goes, "I'm back, baby." Like he just got a jolt of-

Gilbert Gottfried 10:18 Wow.

Joe Rogan 10:19 ... reemergence, but people, like a lot of us had kinda settled, I didn't do stand up for like six months. A lot of us had kinda settled into this thing where we weren't doing comedy anymore. Like, "Okay, this is just regular life."

Gilbert Gottfried 10:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:29 "I can deal with that."

Gilbert Gottfried 10:30 Yeah, I, I was thinking too the same thing, like-

Joe Rogan 10:34 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 10:34 ... I'm home, I'm on the couch, I'm watching TV. This isn't so terrible.

Joe Rogan 10:39 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 10:39 As long as I've got my health and my TV works, and uh... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:45 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 10:45 And so the idea of packing my suitcase and going to the airport and all that, like, uh, going through security and-

Joe Rogan 10:55 The masks and the fucking fear and-

Gilbert Gottfried 10:57 Yes.

Joe Rogan 10:58 Ah.

Gilbert Gottfried 10:58 Yes, and uh, so yeah, I w- I was quite comfortable not doing it, and, and then when I got back, it's like, oh, also I'd be on stage and now I'm, it's starting to come back, but yeah, I was on stage first couple of times, and it was like, "I'm sure I have more material than this." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:25 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 11:25 I can't, (laughs) I can't think of other bits that I do, and, and this bit that I'm doing right now, I think it had a funny line-

Joe Rogan 11:32 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 11:32 ... at this part, and-

Joe Rogan 11:34 You don't remember it? (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 11:35 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:35 Isn't it funny, like if you get, if you do a lot of standup and you don't write your act out, you know, you don't know, know what ya said. Like you-

Gilbert Gottfried 11:43 Yes.

Joe Rogan 11:43 ... unless you have recordings. Do you-

Gilbert Gottfried 11:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:45 ... have recordings of any of your sets?

Gilbert Gottfried 11:46 Uh, n- only, you know, like specials-

Joe Rogan 11:49 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 11:50 ... and stuff, but uh-

Joe Rogan 11:51 I record everything on my phone.

Gilbert Gottfried 11:52 Oh.

Joe Rogan 11:53 With the voice notes, which is nice-

Gilbert Gottfried 11:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:55 ... because then I have like a whole a- a, like a catalog of all the sets that I did, which is, it's so easy to do.

Gilbert Gottfried 12:02 See, I, I, I h- I've never done that. I've never recorded, and-

Joe Rogan 12:06 You have an iPhone?

Gilbert Gottfried 12:08 Uh, I have some kind of phone. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:10 You don't know what kind of phone you have?

Gilbert Gottfried 12:11 I know, I'll just show you my phone. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:14 (laughs) You have to show it to me.That's hilarious. I think that's an iPhone. Yep. There you go.

Gilbert Gottfried 12:18 Oh, okay, so I have an iPhone. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:20 Yeah, so you have voice notes on that thing.

Gilbert Gottfried 12:22 Yeah. I mean... And, and it's like, okay, here's something that I find really odd in doing comedy is there are some bits that you do that are your killer bits, those are the ones you could be bombing the whole night, pull that one out, and the crowd is, goes nuts and the room is shaking. And do you ever have a bit that just goes away?

Joe Rogan 12:52 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 12:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 12:54 With no warning.

Joe Rogan 12:56 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 12:57 I'll have, I'll have these bits where I'm like, "Uh-oh, here's, here I better hold onto something-"

Joe Rogan 13:03 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 13:04 "... 'cause the, 'cause the room, you know, the walls will crash down. The, it's gonna be so much reaction." And then I do it and nothing.

Joe Rogan 13:14 Yep.

Gilbert Gottfried 13:14 And then I do it a bunch of more times and still nothing. It just, like, the bit gets up and walks away from me.

Joe Rogan 13:20 It go away.

Gilbert Gottfried 13:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:21 And it's, it's weird, it's like I, I never know if it's my engagement with it, like maybe I'm not so enthusiastic about it anymore and the audience can tell. Maybe, uh, the time for the bit is just gone, like maybe it's only time relevant, you know, it's only relevant to, like, three months ago and now no one gives a shit about the topic anymore.

Gilbert Gottfried 13:41 Yeah, uh, 'cause I'll, I'll have it where, y- uh, same thing, like, I'll go, uh, "Oh, you know, maybe I'll, I'll just give it a, you know, louder, heavier hit for the punchline or the middle section."

Joe Rogan 13:57 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 13:57 Or faster or slower and it's like, no, they just go away.

Joe Rogan 14:02 They go away. Sometimes bits do, sometimes bits go away. It's, it's interesting. It's like sometimes you'll have a bit in one show and it'll crush, and then the next show you say it the exact same way and it won't work.

Gilbert Gottfried 14:15 Yes. Yeah. It's, um, okay, old joke. Uh, a comedian's in his hotel room and there's a knock on the door, he opens the door, a gorgeous girl is standing there in the sexiest outfit, she's got an incredible body and she says, "I, I saw you, I was in the audience tonight and I watched you and you were so funny and so exciting that I got so turned on, I wanna come in there and fuck you and suck your dick like it's never been sucked before." And the comic says, "Let me ask you something, was this the first show or the second?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:09 (laughs) Exactly. You have one flubbed line, it'll haunt you for the rest of the night, like, "Oh."

Gilbert Gottfried 15:17 Yeah. And it, and it is like the difference between first and second, it's like you don't know. One, it could be tremendous, and, uh, the other one, it'll be like, uh, "You know, I, I, I fooled them long enough-"

Joe Rogan 15:34 (coughs) Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 15:35 "... and I shouldn't be in this business."

Joe Rogan 15:36 Are you, uh, working the road now? Are you doing the road these days?

Gilbert Gottfried 15:40 More and more.

Joe Rogan 15:41 Yeah?

Gilbert Gottfried 15:42 Yeah. Yeah. I'm going back to does, yeah, flying and whatever.

Joe Rogan 15:48 You moved out of the city?

Gilbert Gottfried 15:50 Uh, yeah, I'm in Florida now, let's-

Joe Rogan 15:52 What is that like? You're a, like, lifetime New Yorker, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 15:54 Yeah, well, yeah. So then now I'm going where Jews go to die. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:01 (laughs) What part of Florida are you in?

Gilbert Gottfried 16:03 Uh, in Boca Raton.

Joe Rogan 16:04 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 16:05 Re- real, uh-

Joe Rogan 16:06 Real Florida?

Gilbert Gottfried 16:07 Yeah, real heaven's waiting for me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:10 (laughs) What is it like down there?

Gilbert Gottfried 16:12 I, the heat is intolerable and, uh, oh, there in, in, uh, in Aladdin, there was a line in the original song when they sing Arabian Nights, uh, where, where, uh, where he sings where they cut off, uh, where they cut off your nose if they don't like your face, it's barbaric, but hey, it's home. That was the line in, the original line in it. And they had to change that and they changed it to where the land is, uh, immense and the heat is intense. It's barbaric-

Joe Rogan 16:57 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 16:57 ... but it, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:59 So the original Aladdin, was it a musical? Or...

Gilbert Gottfried 17:02 Uh, yeah, yeah, well, yeah-

Joe Rogan 17:03 What was it? The movie?

Gilbert Gottfried 17:04 No, the one that I did, I was in, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:06 Oh, okay.

Gilbert Gottfried 17:06 It was, yeah, but it had songs in it.

Joe Rogan 17:08 So, and, but the song, was it an old song?

Gilbert Gottfried 17:11 Uh, no, they had written it-

Joe Rogan 17:13 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 17:13 ... but it was a funny line, but-

Joe Rogan 17:15 And they had to cut it out?

Gilbert Gottfried 17:15 Yeah, yeah. And, uh, I, oh, I remember th- they had the Aladdin TV show for a while and, uh, there was one part where we're being chased by a tiger and, uh, and I, my character goes, uh, "He's gonna, he's gonna eat us like kiddie chow." And some woman somewhere in Ohio or Cincin- uh, whatever, uh, she complained and she said she, she was horrified that she was watching it with her children and I said, "That tiger's gonna eat us like tiddie chow." She actually heard it as tiddie chow-

Joe Rogan 18:04 And she complained?

Gilbert Gottfried 18:05 Yeah. Sh-

Joe Rogan 18:05 And it got all the way to you?

Gilbert Gottfried 18:07 Uh, uh, yeah, and, uh-

Joe Rogan 18:08 Why didn't someone tell her, "Hey, it's, it's kiddie chow.

Gilbert Gottfried 18:11 It-

Joe Rogan 18:11 "Shut the fuck up."

Gilbert Gottfried 18:11 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:12 And then that would be the end. Who brought it to you?

Gilbert Gottfried 18:14 Yeah. Uh, they, they, well, I found out 'cause they re-recorded it.

Joe Rogan 18:19 To make it sound more like tiddie?

Gilbert Gottfried 18:21 Yeah, yeah, it, yeah, to, yeah. Uh, yeah, where it's like, "Oh, he's gonna eat us like kiddie chow." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:29 Oh, how annoying.

Gilbert Gottfried 18:31 It's kind of like, oh...... the, uh, in, in, uh, the opening of All in the Family, there was that one line that nobody knew. And, uh, and that, that line was, um, "G-R, G-R-Old LaSalle ran great." Because-

Joe Rogan 18:56 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 18:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:57 What is that?

Gilbert Gottfried 18:58 Yeah. And it was on a o- Old Car LaSalle. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 19:02 Oh, "Our old LaSalle ran great."

Gilbert Gottfried 19:05 "Our old LaSalle ran great."

Joe Rogan 19:07 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 19:07 And so when, when you heard that, you always just heard-

Joe Rogan 19:11 Those were the days.

Gilbert Gottfried 19:11 ... "G-R-Old, yeah, ran..." And so they, they re-recorded it in the next season to, "G-R-Old LaSalle Ran Great."

Joe Rogan 19:25 Look at this fucking... These lyrics. "Guys like me, we had it made. Those were the days. Didn't need no welfare state. Everybody pulled his weight."

Gilbert Gottfried 19:34 Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know the whole song.

Joe Rogan 19:35 Look at these little lines, though. "Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again. People seemed to be content, $50 paid the rent. Freaks were in the circus tent, those were the days." (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 19:47 Oh, see, but, you know, the freaks were in the circus tent, they didn't sing in the TV show.

Joe Rogan 19:53 Hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 19:53 But there is a recording of Sammy Davis Jr singing the opening (laughs) of, uh, of, uh, All in the Family.

Joe Rogan 20:04 Really? Like, uh-

Gilbert Gottfried 20:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:05 Was he an option at one point in time? Like he was gonna be the singer?

Gilbert Gottfried 20:07 Uh, I... Well, it, it's like... I don't know. They just... I guess they wanted to maybe release it and, uh, but they didn't. But there is a recording of him singing that.

Joe Rogan 20:21 Wow.

Gilbert Gottfried 20:21 Where it's like, "Freaks were in a circus tent."

Joe Rogan 20:25 Oh, yeah. Look at this right there.

Gilbert Gottfried 20:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:27 Look at him with a big stogey. (mellow music) Where's the lyrics?

Gilbert Gottfried 20:38 Yeah.

Narrator 20:38 You take a Sunday spin. Go and watch the Dodgers win. Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin. Hair were short and skirts were long. Kate Smith really grooved a song. I don't know where we went wrong. Those were the days. Those were the days. Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:08 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 21:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:09 Isn't it funny that every generation complains about the direction the new generation's going in? Because if we go back to 1970, we look at it, we go, "Oh my God, look how crazy life was back then."

Gilbert Gottfried 21:21 Yes.

Joe Rogan 21:21 So simple. They're looking at, like, the 1950s going, "Oh, those were the days."

Gilbert Gottfried 21:27 Yeah, I'm-

Joe Rogan 21:27 Like every generation does this.

Gilbert Gottfried 21:29 Oh, I'm sure in like 1403 there was-

Joe Rogan 21:32 Remember back when nobody was a robot?

Gilbert Gottfried 21:33 Oh.

Joe Rogan 21:33 That's what they're gonna be saying.

Gilbert Gottfried 21:34 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 21:36 Yeah, yeah. Remember back when we couldn't read minds?

Gilbert Gottfried 21:38 Oh. Oh, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:39 Yeah. That's what they're gonna say.

Gilbert Gottfried 21:41 Remember when we had just five fingers on each hand?

Joe Rogan 21:44 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 21:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:45 Remember when there was no genetic engineering?

Gilbert Gottfried 21:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:47 And everybody had regular-sized dicks?

Gilbert Gottfried 21:48 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:50 That's a-

Gilbert Gottfried 21:51 Re- remember, uh, before, uh, when you lost a limb, you couldn't grow a new one?

Joe Rogan 21:57 Yeah. That's what they're gonna say. Remember back before people were immortal? That's what's gonna happen.

Gilbert Gottfried 22:03 Oh. And Sammy also sang a recording of, uh, Hawaii Five-O.

Joe Rogan 22:12 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 22:13 Yeah. Where it's like, uh... Oh, something like, "If you are in trouble, gotta call Five-Oh."

Joe Rogan 22:22 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 22:22 "He will be there on the double when you call Five-Oh."

Joe Rogan 22:27 Did you ever see him perform live?

Gilbert Gottfried 22:29 No.

Joe Rogan 22:30 I would have liked to see him. I would have loved to seen Sinatra, Sammy Davis. I would've loved to seen the Rat Pack live. That would be interesting.

Gilbert Gottfried 22:36 I, I saw... 'Cause a friend of mine knew how to sneak into this one theater, and I saw, uh... It wasn't the whole Rat Pack, but, uh, Frank and Dean.

Joe Rogan 22:48 You saw them?

Gilbert Gottfried 22:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:49 Wow. What year was this?

Gilbert Gottfried 22:50 Yeah. Oh God, years ago.

Joe Rogan 22:53 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 22:53 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 22:54 Is Sinatra... Would he die in the '80s? When did he die?

Gilbert Gottfried 22:56 Uh, I think so. Yeah, in the '80s I think.

Joe Rogan 23:00 Yeah, I don't remember. But obviously I never got a chance to see him.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:04 And I remember too-

Narrator 23:07 98.

Joe Rogan 23:08 90-

Narrator 23:08 '98.

Joe Rogan 23:08 Oh, '98.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:08 Oh.

Joe Rogan 23:09 Interesting.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:10 He, he was on like, oh, I think the Grammy show, and he started to make a speech and then they cut to a commercial, and everybody was outraged about this. And, um, uh, you know, Billy Joel mentioned it and everybody. And then they said that, uh, Frank, uh, during the speech, started to ramble.

Joe Rogan 23:34 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:35 He was getting older.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:36 Yeah. He was Joe Bidening it.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:38 Yeah. (laughs) That's, uh, that's the medical-

Joe Rogan 23:44 It's a verb.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:44 ... thing. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:45 Yeah, Joe Bidening is a verb. That poor guy. I feel... I mean, I didn't vote for him, but I feel bad for him. It's like watching this happen, it's just, it's so sad, you know.

Gilbert Gottfried 23:55 And, oh, uh, another thing. On, on my podcast, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

Joe Rogan 24:02 Available everywhere.

Gilbert Gottfried 24:03 Yes. Yeah. (laughs) And, uh, we had on some, like, expert on Columbo and, uh, and that brought back... Remember that footage of Peter Falk? Uh, there was this footage, like somebody on people's phones, he was like, you know, roaming through the street.

Joe Rogan 24:25 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 24:25 His clothes look more ragged than Columbo's and his...... pot belly was hanging out of his shirt and he, he, he looked like a mess. And, and he, he died of Alzheimer's.

Joe Rogan 24:40 I didn't see that, but-

Gilbert Gottfried 24:41 Yeah, horrible.

Joe Rogan 24:42 It's horrible. Dementia and Alzheimer's and just, just watching someone deteriorate like that. That's why it's, the Joe Biden thing is so sad, because it's like happening in real time and everyone's trying to pretend like it's not happening, because he's the president and no one is stepping in. Like if it was your grandfather, you'd be like, "Oh, geez, we gotta do something."

Gilbert Gottfried 25:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:00 But instead it's the president, so like you watch, he's f- he fell asleep at a conference the other day. Like, like on TV you see him like closing his eyes and he's got his arms crossed and he just falls asleep. It's like, come on, the poor guy.

Gilbert Gottfried 25:13 It, it's like, I always think when people say like, "Oh, you know, Belushi and Chris Farley, that's so tragic." And I'm thinking, "They died stoned out of their mind in a, in a great state, you know, just floating, just total ecstasy."

Joe Rogan 25:35 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 25:35 And, and a hooker is blowing them while they're in this, uh, stoned state, and that's how they died. And I'm thinking, "Okay, what about these people, Alzheimer's, MS, uh, Parkinson's, all these horrible things where after a while people are just wired up to machines?"

Joe Rogan 25:57 Yeah. Everybody goes, but just how do you go? If you, do you want to like drag it out where your body's, like, literally deteriorating before your eyes?

Gilbert Gottfried 26:06 Yes.

Joe Rogan 26:07 That's what you're seeing a lot of in Boca Raton.

Gilbert Gottfried 26:09 Oh, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:10 Right? In your new neighborhood?

Gilbert Gottfried 26:12 I, and I... The one I felt bad for the most was, um, uh, Annette Funicello.

Joe Rogan 26:22 Oh, I didn't see that.

Gilbert Gottfried 26:23 Well, I, they, they didn't really show her so much, but it, it was that she had something like, uh, one o- one of those diseases that cripples you and where you're still alive, but, you know, after a while you can't blink your eyes or whatever.

Joe Rogan 26:41 Oh, Jesus.

Gilbert Gottfried 26:41 And, and she, she lived for years with that.

Joe Rogan 26:48 (groans)

Gilbert Gottfried 26:48 And, um, I, I, I always think of that line in Dracula, "To die, to be really dead, must be glorious."

Joe Rogan 27:00 Hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 27:00 "There are far worse things awaiting man than death."

Joe Rogan 27:07 (laughs) Was that... Um, was that... Who was? Was it, was it Boris Karloff? Who did-

Gilbert Gottfried 27:12 Oh, he, that was Bela Lugosi in Dracula.

Joe Rogan 27:14 Bela Lugosi, that's right. Boris Karloff was Frankenstein.

Gilbert Gottfried 27:17 Franken-

Joe Rogan 27:17 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 27:17 Okay. Boris Karloff was Frankenstein and the Mummy.

Joe Rogan 27:21 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 27:22 Uh, Bela Lugosi was Dracula, but he also played Frankenstein in one movie.

Joe Rogan 27:27 He did?

Gilbert Gottfried 27:28 In Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man.

Joe Rogan 27:31 Ah. (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 27:32 And, uh, Lon Chaney Jr. played all the monsters.

Joe Rogan 27:37 Did he?

Gilbert Gottfried 27:37 He was most famous-

Joe Rogan 27:38 He was the Wolf Man.

Gilbert Gottfried 27:38 ... for the Wolf Man.

Joe Rogan 27:40 Who else did he play?

Gilbert Gottfried 27:40 But he was also Frankenstein in Ghost of Frankenstein.

Joe Rogan 27:45 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 27:46 And, uh, he, he was, uh, the Mummy in about three of those low-budget Mummy pictures.

Joe Rogan 27:54 Oh, there you go.

Gilbert Gottfried 27:55 Oh, there he is as Dracula in Son of Dracula.

Joe Rogan 27:59 When you watch that old Wolf Man, it is so corny. Oh, he's Dr. Jekyll as well?

Gilbert Gottfried 28:03 Uh, no. Oh, that's his father right there.

Joe Rogan 28:07 Oh, Lon Chaney Sr.

Gilbert Gottfried 28:08 Yes.

Joe Rogan 28:09 Yeah, the original. Yeah. I, I wanted to be a makeup artist when I was a kid. That's what I wanted to do.

Gilbert Gottfried 28:16 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:16 I wanted to do, uh, makeup for horror movies.

Gilbert Gottfried 28:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:19 Like, uh, you know, these, these guys like Lon Chaney Jr.

Gilbert Gottfried 28:22 Yeah. Uh, on, also on the podcast we interviewed Rick Baker.

Joe Rogan 28:27 Yeah, Rick Baker's done the podcast.

Gilbert Gottfried 28:28 Oh.

Joe Rogan 28:28 He's amazing.

Gilbert Gottfried 28:29 Yeah. He's, he's am- Uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:31 In my studio in LA I have a duplicate of The American Werewolf in London-

Gilbert Gottfried 28:35 Oh, yeah?

Joe Rogan 28:35 ... that greets people at the front door. Yeah. Just one of my all-time favorite movies. I used to love those movies. Just-

Gilbert Gottfried 28:41 Oh, I did too. I grew up on those. And another time Lon Chaney Jr. was Frankenstein was in Ghost... Uh, not Ghost. He was in Ghost of Frankenstein, but in one scene in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, the monster, uh, that was played by (laughs) Glenn, by Glenn Strange, uh, has to throw a girl out the window. And, uh, and, uh, I think Glenn Strange hurt his ankle, uh, previously with his big Frankenstein boots. And so, uh, Lon Chaney was made up as the monster in that scene. There's one scene where the monster throws the girl out the window, and that's Lon Chaney Jr. as the monster.

Joe Rogan 29:33 Oh, he's like subd- he subbed for him.

Gilbert Gottfried 29:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:36 Wow. You're a fucking veritable treasure trove of information, Gilbert Gottfried.

Gilbert Gottfried 29:41 Ei- e- either that or fucking pathetic. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:44 (laughs) It's funny how many monster movies they used to make.

Gilbert Gottfried 29:48 Uh-

Joe Rogan 29:48 Like, they didn't make a lot of movies back then, right? There was less movies than there are today.

Gilbert Gottfried 29:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:52 But there was... A lot of them were monster movies.

Gilbert Gottfried 29:54 Oh, yeah. And, and also, like, well, like movies today with sequels, they would, they... You... After a while they were doing identical plots from one to the next with one or two scenes changed.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 30:09 But, yeah, I used to love those. And, I mean, they were the classic ones, you know, Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolf Man. And then there would... I, I would enjoy the crappy ones too, like, uh, The Hideous Sun Demon.

Joe Rogan 30:25 Yeah, there were some bad ones.

Gilbert Gottfried 30:26 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:27 The Hideous Sun Demon. I, I just remembered that one now, now that you brought it up.God, who, who was that? Who was in that movie?

Gilbert Gottfried 30:33 I don't... I don't know that anyone was known, except for, like, those, uh, D movies. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:38 Yeah. Those were great though. They're so... They were so dumb.

Gilbert Gottfried 30:42 Oh, y-

Joe Rogan 30:42 There it is. There's The Hideous Undine.

Gilbert Gottfried 30:43 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 30:44 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 30:45 (laughs) Look at that thing.

Joe Rogan 30:46 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 30:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:47 Oh, my God. That's so ridiculous. Oh, my God. Look at that thing.

Gilbert Gottfried 30:51 Yeah. It, it looks like, uh, like they put coins all over it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:55 Get some, get some video of that, Jamie. We need to see that in video. God, I forgot about that movie.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:00 That's hilarious.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:01 Yeah. Yeah. They, they pulled a switch, rather than the sun coming out and turning him into a monster.

Joe Rogan 31:08 '59.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:08 Or rather than the moon- Yeah. ... it's the sun. Oh, it's atomic, so of course that means you-

Joe Rogan 31:13 Of course.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:14 ... turn into... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:15 Yeah. They did a lot of those movies right after World War II-

Gilbert Gottfried 31:18 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:18 Right, right after Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:20 Well, yeah, like Godzilla-

Joe Rogan 31:21 Mm-hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:21 ... was a whole...

Joe Rogan 31:22 Yup. Yeah, the whole Godzilla sequence, like the, the Mothra and Rodan and all those different ones, it's all related to atomic weapons, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 31:33 Yes, and, um, they... Oh.

Joe Rogan 31:36 Who is this guy? There is, uh...

Gilbert Gottfried 31:37 There he is breaking into a building.

Joe Rogan 31:40 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 31:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:40 Let me see what he looks like. Is it playing? Oh, it's froze. This is so corny.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:48 Oh, now he's running up the stairs. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:50 He's so fake-looking.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:51 He's so dumb. Ah.

Gilbert Gottfried 31:53 Ah. But, but still so much fun to watch (laughs) 'cause it's so stupid.

Joe Rogan 32:01 Um, I watched, uh, the original The Thing recently.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:04 Yes.

Joe Rogan 32:05 The... Way before-

Gilbert Gottfried 32:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:06 ... John Carpenter.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:07 The original, original one. God, it's so bad.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:09 Yeah. And, oh, and it... But the thing is James Arness.

Joe Rogan 32:14 Oh, is it?

Gilbert Gottfried 32:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:15 Is that Desi Arness's dad or something?

Gilbert Gottfried 32:17 Uh, uh, no. J- uh, uh, James Arness from Gunsm- uh, Gunsmoke, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:22 Oh, really?

Gilbert Gottfried 32:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:23 What did the thing look like? I'm trying to remember what the thing looked like.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:26 Uh, they... In their... Not... You never really saw-

Joe Rogan 32:29 Really.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:29 ... a clear look.

Joe Rogan 32:30 You don't... Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:31 You saw something hulking out and more of a silhouette.

Joe Rogan 32:34 Yeah. It was corny.

Gilbert Gottfried 32:36 Yeah. But also fun.

Joe Rogan 32:39 Is that what it looked like? That was the thing?

Gilbert Gottfried 32:41 Oh, yeah. See, there, there you could-

Joe Rogan 32:43 There you could...

Gilbert Gottfried 32:43 ... me- make it out.

Joe Rogan 32:45 But did they show that actually in the movie like that?

Gilbert Gottfried 32:48 I don't... I just remember it as, uh, more of a silhouette. I-

Joe Rogan 32:53 I only watched, like, 20 minutes of it. I was just laughing-

Gilbert Gottfried 32:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:55 ... just how corny it was. It was just so weird. That's what he looked like?

Gilbert Gottfried 33:00 Yeah. He's kind of like Frankenstein.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Just... I wonder, like, what would the obsession with monsters was back then, because that was a g- good percentage of the films that were made were monster m- Maybe it was just that they were successful.

Gilbert Gottfried 33:13 That, that was, uh, also someone we interviewed on the podcast. I think it's David Skol, uh, the name, and whose theory was that, uh, like, from World War I, each war, like, medic-, you know, medical treatments would be more improved. So, people who normally would've died, uh, were now alive-

Joe Rogan 33:43 Ah.

Gilbert Gottfried 33:43 ... with missing arms and legs and their faces.

Joe Rogan 33:46 Faces shot off. Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 33:47 And, and, uh, he... His feeling is, that's what made people so in-... uh, fascinated with monsters, 'cause these were, like, real live monsters around them.

Joe Rogan 34:00 Yeah, there's a bunch of photos online of, uh, people who survived in World War II, and they'd survive gunshot wounds to the face-

Gilbert Gottfried 34:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:08 ... and things along those lines. And there, there's horrific photos.

Gilbert Gottfried 34:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:12 That makes sense.

Gilbert Gottfried 34:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:14 'Cause so many people coming back from the war that did live.

Gilbert Gottfried 34:18 Ye-

Joe Rogan 34:18 That makes sense.

Gilbert Gottfried 34:19 Yeah. It was, uh, like, much, uh, nicer and prettier if the soldiers would just die. But once they live and you see what actually happens to them...

Joe Rogan 34:33 The worst story I heard about the war was from World War I, where the Russians and the Germans had to have a ceasefire-

Gilbert Gottfried 34:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:39 ... because so many of them were getting killed by wolves, that they actually joined together to kill the wolves in Russia.

Gilbert Gottfried 34:45 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 34:46 Yeah. There were, there was hundreds of wolves. Because what had happened is they were doing trench warfare, right? And so, a guy would get shot and he'd be in agony in the trenches, and the wolves would smell the blood-

Gilbert Gottfried 34:58 Oh.

Joe Rogan 34:58 ... and the wolves would go into the trenches and eat the men alive and kill them. And so, there would... Guys would go on patrol and they would, like, find a boot with a foot still in it, and that was all that was left of them. And so they realized these large packs of vicious wolves in Russia were just picking off soldiers from the outside. So anytime someone strayed away from the camps or strayed away from, you know, wherever they were stationed, the wolves would get them. And so, they literally got together and had a ceasefire and said, "Let's stop killing each other. Let's kill these fucking wolves, and then we'll go back to killing each other."

Gilbert Gottfried 35:31 See, yes. The... It's the insanity of that.

Joe Rogan 35:34 So crazy.

Gilbert Gottfried 35:35 We gotta make it safe for us to kill each other again. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:40 (laughs) It's kind of amazing that that's a historical fact. Like, it's-

Gilbert Gottfried 35:43 And-

Joe Rogan 35:43 ... it's a really wild story.

Gilbert Gottfried 35:45 Also, uh, could... You reminded me, because we interviewed, um, Sandler from s- Do you remember Sandler & Young?

Joe Rogan 35:55 No.

Gilbert Gottfried 35:55 This was, uh... He was Belgium, so he spoke in French, and then he had an American partner and they would sing. Uh-

Joe Rogan 36:06 Were they a comedy act?

Gilbert Gottfried 36:07 No, no. They were, they were like a... Just a song-

Joe Rogan 36:10 S- singing act?

Gilbert Gottfried 36:11 ... singing team. They'd be on all the variety shows. And, you know, it'd be like, "Oh, when the saints come marching in."

Joe Rogan 36:18 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 36:18 "Oh, when the saints come out." And then he'd say, "Et quand ils sortent, eh, et quand personne ne uh, se saluta." And that they'd sing it-

Joe Rogan 36:28 Hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 36:28 ... in American and French. And Sandler said, you know, in Belgium, of course, he was there during, uh, World War II. And, oh, and he said that...... uh, Nazis would take over people's houses and use them as headquarters, and, uh, he, he had Nazis in his house and, and they were instructed, uh, "Just, uh, do everything as you normally do. Uh, don't do anything diff-" And it's like, which is hard if there's fucking Nazis-

Joe Rogan 37:03 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 37:04 ... in your house. And he said one time, he and his friends were playing and they found a boot with a foot in it.

Joe Rogan 37:12 Whoa.

Gilbert Gottfried 37:13 Oh, and as far as horror and real, I think the movie The Black Cat with Karloff and Lugosi was actually based on this, some prison camp. Uh-

Joe Rogan 37:24 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 37:25 Yeah. It was, uh, uh, just, I don't know what happened there or who, I don't know the exact story, but it was, uh-

Joe Rogan 37:34 I don't even know what that movie is. The Black Cat?

Gilbert Gottfried 37:36 Oh, oh, The Black Cat. If you like horror movies, that, it's, it's Karloff and Lugosi and the movie not, not three seconds of it makes any sense. (laughs) It's just-

Joe Rogan 37:49 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 37:50 You feel like you're watching, you having a weird dream.

Joe Rogan 37:54 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 37:54 (laughs) But it's so good, it's so entertaining.

Joe Rogan 37:58 Just 'cause it's so old and weird?

Gilbert Gottfried 37:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:59 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 38:00 It's very weird, but it's not one of those, uh, you laugh at it 'cause it's bad. It's a good movie, but it, it makes absolutely no sense. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:09 It's a good movie that makes no sense.

Gilbert Gottfried 38:10 Yes, yes. Usually I get angry when movies make no sense.

Joe Rogan 38:15 But when they're old, you're kind of watching history as much as you're watching a movie.

Gilbert Gottfried 38:19 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:20 It's, when, uh, my kids were little, my wife was out of town and, uh, we were trying to figure out something to watch together, and they were like, I think they were six and eight, and, uh, I said, "Do you guys want to watch a scary movie?" And they were like, you know, my, my littlest would get real scared. She goes-

Gilbert Gottfried 38:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:37 "I don't want to get scared." I go, "Oh, I'm gonna show you a movie that's, that used to be scary, but now it's funny 'cause it's so bad."

Gilbert Gottfried 38:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:44 And so I showed them the original King Kong-

Gilbert Gottfried 38:46 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:46 ... from like, what was it? Like 1933?

Gilbert Gottfried 38:48 '30, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:49 And it's so bad. Like, you watch it, like the animation's so, like it wasn't scary at all. They were laughing. They thought it was hilarious.

Gilbert Gottfried 38:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:57 I was like, this is funny, like if you were a little kid in 1933 and you watched this, it'd probably be quite scary 'cause like the animation and everything, like they, they didn't have anything to compare it to, so it didn't look bad. It just looked like, like there was a beast, you know?

Gilbert Gottfried 39:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:11 But people today, you try w- uh, showing that to a little kid today, they'll just laugh at it.

Gilbert Gottfried 39:15 See, but me, I grew up on that stop-action-

Joe Rogan 39:19 Me too.

Gilbert Gottfried 39:19 ... animation, you know, you know, Ray Harryhausen-

Joe Rogan 39:22 Harry Houston, yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 39:24 ... and Willis O'Brien.

Joe Rogan 39:25 Sure.

Gilbert Gottfried 39:25 And I, so I still enjoy that. That I prefer to computerization. And, um, I, I think what, uh, uh, Roger Ebert said, uh, "Stop-action looks phony, but feels real." And he says, uh, uh, "CGI looks real, but feels phony."

Joe Rogan 39:51 Yeah, there is something about CGI that just doesn't resonate. There's something about it where it just doesn't feel right. You know, there's a lot of these guys that do that Rick Baker style-

Gilbert Gottfried 40:03 Yes.

Joe Rogan 40:03 ... and like makeup for movies and they're, uh, big advocates of that. Like they don't think we should have CGI because there's a disconnect when you see something on the screen that's computer generated, even if it's really realistic. Like, did you see The Wolf Man with, uh, Benicio Del Toro?

Gilbert Gottfried 40:19 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:19 That was pretty good.

Gilbert Gottfried 40:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:20 I liked it. Uh, but that movie was a little bit of both. Like there was... But when you saw the CGI parts, you'd be like, "Ah, this looks fake."

Gilbert Gottfried 40:29 Yes.

Joe Rogan 40:29 But when you saw him with the makeup, it's like, "Okay-"

Gilbert Gottfried 40:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:32 "... this is a real thing. This is a, an actual object."

Gilbert Gottfried 40:35 It's like, to me, when I watched the original King Kong, I feel like, well, there is a real King Kong that they built.

Joe Rogan 40:44 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 40:44 So you could touch King Kong if you-

Joe Rogan 40:48 Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 40:48 ... were there. Uh, but you can't touch, you know, CGI.

Joe Rogan 40:52 CGI. Yeah, you can tell. It's weird. It's that, there's a weird disconnect you have. Even if it's like super, super realistic, you know that it's not real somehow.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:01 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:02 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:02 Oh, also the difference between, uh, American Werewolf in London where that was like great special effects-

Joe Rogan 41:12 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:12 ... with the-

Joe Rogan 41:13 Amazing.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:13 Yeah. And, and then they did American Werewolf in Paris-

Joe Rogan 41:19 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:19 ... where they were using CGI and it looked like half of it was a cartoon.

Joe Rogan 41:24 Yeah, that looked stupid. Yeah, there was a lot of those movies that looked really stupid like that. But then they had the howling. The howling was all, uh, special effects too.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:32 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:32 It was kind of the same deal. You know, those movies were, it's like there's something that you, you get connected even though you know it's fake-

Gilbert Gottfried 41:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:42 ... but you get connected to it. It's okay. Whereas like, you're, if it's CGI, you're just watching some stuff happen.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:47 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:48 You're watching some images.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:49 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 41:50 Like, I, yeah, I always missed, I mean, even as a kid, I knew how they made King Kong move, uh, the dinosaurs move. I knew how, uh, Chaney turned into the Wolf Man by turning the camera on and off, but-

Joe Rogan 42:05 Mm-hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 42:06 But I, I loved watching that and it still feels more real to me.

Joe Rogan 42:10 Well, it's also fun because you're watching these people make the best with what they had.

Gilbert Gottfried 42:15 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:15 And you know what was available then as opposed to now. Like stop-motion, claymation-

Gilbert Gottfried 42:20 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:20 ... all that kind of stuff, and the, the, the kind of makeup, like Lon Chaney Sr., like...... guy, like, disfigured his face to make-

Gilbert Gottfried 42:27 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:27 ... to make those movies. Tortured himself.

Gilbert Gottfried 42:29 And, and, there was also, like, I used to be fascinated to hear, uh, people talk about how effects were done in movies. And now, it's like, you g- and now it's, if you ask someone it'll be like, "Well, uh, this button makes it rain, and this button makes, uh, dinosaurs show up, and-

Joe Rogan 42:50 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 42:51 ... and this button, fire shoots out of the dinosaur." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:54 Yeah. Well, it's also they, like, if you look at the American Werewolf in London, because of the fact that it was, it wasn't computer generated, they had to show you everything in very quick flashes.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:05 Yes.

Joe Rogan 43:05 They didn't, like, lock onto it for a long period of time, where you got to see it. Like, the longest you got to see it was when the wolf was walking through Piccadilly Square.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:14 Yes.

Joe Rogan 43:14 Remember that?

Gilbert Gottfried 43:14 Yes.

Joe Rogan 43:14 And he's snapping at people.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:16 That was like the clearest and most you ever got to see it.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:19 Other than that, you get to see, like, a brief glimpse of its face right before it attacked. Like Alien, the Ri-

Gilbert Gottfried 43:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:25 ... Ridley Scott movie. Same kind of deal. You really didn't see it that clearly for long periods of time.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:32 But what was, what shows how good the makeup and everything was in there, uh, when he changes, it's in a well-lit room.

Joe Rogan 43:43 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:43 'Cause so many movies, it, there's immediately, uh, it's at night and there's a thunderstorm going on. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:51 Yeah, yeah. No, that was an epic, I mean, that was, when you see the, I forget the, the actor's name who played the American Werewolf in London.

Gilbert Gottfried 43:59 Oh, uh, David Naughton.

Joe Rogan 44:00 Yes. When you see his hands stretch, he's like, "Aah!"

Gilbert Gottfried 44:03 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 44:04 And he's watching it. Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 44:06 T- t- t- for years after that...

Joe Rogan 44:09 Play the, try to find the transformation scene.

Gilbert Gottfried 44:11 Yeah. For years after that, I would, I would know it's special effects, but I'd look at my hand and see if I could do that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:20 (laughs) Yeah, that, well, also when the, the, the hair is popping up on his back. And it was, it, it was a unique, and, and like, a first (spooky music plays) these kind of movies, for horror movies-

Gilbert Gottfried 44:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:32 It was revolutionary, because it was like Rick Baker was the king.

Gilbert Gottfried 44:37 Yes.

Joe Rogan 44:37 He was the best at this stuff, and they gave him the ability to kind of completely change the way people feel about these kind of transformation scenes.

Gilbert Gottfried 44:48 Yes.

Joe Rogan 44:49 Like this shit.

Gilbert Gottfried 44:50 That's, that's amazing. That's looks like a real hand.

Joe Rogan 44:53 And they added, like, John Landis made it funny, they added the right kind of music to it. There was so much to it, and as this thing's changing, and he falls to the ground, you see his, his hair pop up on his back. (character grunting) Fuck, this was good.

Gilbert Gottfried 45:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:17 Oh, what a great movie.

Narrator 45:20 I didn't mean to call your meatloaf, Jack. (character grunting)

Joe Rogan 45:29 It was such a great movie-

Gilbert Gottfried 45:30 Yes.

Joe Rogan 45:30 ... because it was a combination of comedy and horror.

Gilbert Gottfried 45:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:33 But it was both. It was both actually really funny and really fucking scary.

Gilbert Gottfried 45:37 Yes.

Joe Rogan 45:40 Oh my God, what a great scene.

Gilbert Gottfried 45:42 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 45:42 Yeah, and completely well lit. Look at that. Fucking amazing movie. Oh, you have to turn the music off?

Gilbert Gottfried 45:53 Oh, th- that-

Joe Rogan 45:53 Oh, yeah, I did it.

Gilbert Gottfried 45:53 ... that was once a case of like, uh...

Joe Rogan 45:58 And then the face, when his face stretches out.

Gilbert Gottfried 46:03 Oh, yes, that's this.

Joe Rogan 46:05 Yeah. I mean, Rick Baker's a fucking genius. Imagine being able to do this in like, what was it, 1980 something?

Gilbert Gottfried 46:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:18 I mean, there was nothing like this before this.

Gilbert Gottfried 46:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:22 It was so revolutionary.

Gilbert Gottfried 46:23 Yeah. These, these came out at the same time, this one and The Howling.

Joe Rogan 46:27 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 46:27 Both were.

Joe Rogan 46:28 I think this one came out first.

Gilbert Gottfried 46:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:29 If I'm r- and I think this was so successful that it sort of ignited this desire for, uh, werewolf movies.

Gilbert Gottfried 46:38 Oh, and then there's, uh, a dopey horror film that I, I think it's called The Beast Within.

Joe Rogan 46:46 What is that?

Gilbert Gottfried 46:47 That does a transformation scene that goes on like way too long. (laughs) But it's so much fun to watch.

Joe Rogan 46:55 The Beast Within?

Gilbert Gottfried 46:56 The Beast Within. It's...

Joe Rogan 46:58 Do you remember Cats?

Gilbert Gottfried 46:59 Oh, oh, cat-

Joe Rogan 47:00 Cat people?

Gilbert Gottfried 47:01 The- there were two.

Joe Rogan 47:02 There's The Beast Within.

Gilbert Gottfried 47:03 There was the original one, and then there was the one with the t-

Joe Rogan 47:06 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 47:07 Oh, that's it. There it is.

Joe Rogan 47:08 What is this?

Gilbert Gottfried 47:09 Yes.

Joe Rogan 47:09 Look at her, she's like, "What is happening?" They're both just standing there. They're not running out of the room. Like, imagine if you saw a guy's face do that.

Gilbert Gottfried 47:18 Yes.

Joe Rogan 47:18 You'd be like, "I'm getting the fuck out of here."

Gilbert Gottfried 47:20 Yes.

Joe Rogan 47:20 They're just standing around.

Gilbert Gottfried 47:20 They're all standing by, no one's screaming.

Joe Rogan 47:23 And one guy has a syringe in his hand. Like, how about you inject that guy with whatever you've got in that syringe? Whoa. Look at, this is so terrible.

Gilbert Gottfried 47:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:32 Play it. Let it play, let it play. (laughs) What is happening to his back?

Gilbert Gottfried 47:40 Uh, I, his whole body's splitting open.

Joe Rogan 47:43 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 47:44 And what's funny with this, after he goes into his like 15th, uh, metamorphosis, one guy says, "Oh my God."

Joe Rogan 47:53 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 47:53 I'm thinking, "What? The other things weren't worth an 'Oh my God'?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:01 This is so long.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:03 Yes.

Joe Rogan 48:04 See, they needed a good editor. Look at her. She just, she does s- same face the entire time.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:11 Uh, yes.

Joe Rogan 48:12 She's letting it all happen. Oh, now finally she's s- screaming.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:14 Oh, finally. Yeah, yeah. She, you know, before, nothing (laughs) was so...

Joe Rogan 48:20 I can't wait to see what he turns into.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:23 Oh, see, that, that guy with the mustache said, "Oh my God."

Narrator 48:28 ... meanwhile, they're just all standing there.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:30 Yes! Yes!

Narrator 48:31 Why wouldn't you get-

Gilbert Gottfried 48:31 Anybody would-

Narrator 48:32 ... the fuck out of Dodge?

Gilbert Gottfried 48:33 ... would run for their lives?

Narrator 48:34 Yeah, what is th- ... What are you? It keeps going back and forth. It got bigger, it got smaller. Now what is it?

Gilbert Gottfried 48:44 Oh, now it's big.

Narrator 48:46 (Spanish being spoken by Gilbert)

48:47 "Shoot him, for God's sake," it says.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:50 (laughs)

Narrator 48:50 "Shoot him, for God's sake."

Gilbert Gottfried 48:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:53 They don't make- ... 'em anymore, Gilbert.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:55 They don't make-

Gilbert Gottfried 48:55 He-

Joe Rogan 48:55 ... a good, uh, horror movie anymore.

Gilbert Gottfried 48:57 No.

Joe Rogan 48:58 There's just n- not that many of 'em. I mean, what was the last good one you saw?

Gilbert Gottfried 49:01 Oh, God, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 49:04 Cloverfield? That was a- Like, monster movie? Yeah, that was a monster movie. That's different. Yeah. Right? There was a- That was interesting. ... H- like, Hereditary and The Conjuring. Those have kinda gotten really popular more recently. Yeah, but those are horror. Yeah, it's like psych- Yeah. ... psych- psychological stuff. You don't have good monster movies anymore. Gotta bring 'em back, Gilbert.

Gilbert Gottfried 49:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:25 (laughs) Scream's on its way back out. That's not really a mon-... I guess that's more- Mm, yeah. ... a serial killer. It's all horror. Yeah. Yeah. So, um-

Gilbert Gottfried 49:33 Ha.

Joe Rogan 49:33 ... do you have a home club in Boca?

Gilbert Gottfried 49:35 Uh, there's some nearby clubs. One I worked recently, and, uh... Oh, God. Yeah. There's... But now, I mean, like, tomorrow, I, I go to Houston to do a club.

Joe Rogan 49:51 What club are you doing in Houston?

Gilbert Gottfried 49:52 God, I don't know. Somebody find... Find out. What the fuck? You shouldn't laugh-

Joe Rogan 49:57 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 49:57 ... like that. Find out where I am, what I've got to plug-

Joe Rogan 50:02 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 50:02 ... and don't fucking shit-

Joe Rogan 50:05 Are you sh- are you doing the improv?

Gilbert Gottfried 50:06 Uh...

Joe Rogan 50:07 Improv's great in Houston.

Gilbert Gottfried 50:08 Oh, I don't know if I'd- I've never done-

Joe Rogan 50:10 That's a great club.

Gilbert Gottfried 50:10 ... that one. But-

Joe Rogan 50:10 That's a good one.

Gilbert Gottfried 50:11 Uh, oh. But one thing I have to plug, of course, I'm on cameo.com/gilbertgottfried for personalized video shout-outs, and, uh, for 25% off use promo code JoeRogan.

Joe Rogan 50:33 And these cameos, you're doing these a lot, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 50:35 Yes.

Joe Rogan 50:36 And d' you enjoy doing that? Is it fun?

Gilbert Gottfried 50:38 I, I, well, that, that was like what I was doing all through, uh, the pandemic.

Joe Rogan 50:44 Yeah?

Gilbert Gottfried 50:44 Yeah. 'Cause there were-... Clubs were closed and TV was closed and so I would do those. Yeah. Those-

Joe Rogan 50:51 And you could make good money doing those?

Gilbert Gottfried 50:53 Uh, yeah. It depends on... Sometimes you have busy days, sometimes less. Uh, but it's one of those where you could... There, there were times I, I just, like, had a shirt on and no pants. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:07 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 51:07 I just put it up (laughs) , uh, and yeah, so, uh, cameo.com/gilbertgottfried.

Joe Rogan 51:15 Uh, oh, you're doing Skankfest.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:18 I am? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:21 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 51:21 Yes, Skankfest.

Joe Rogan 51:22 That's hilarious.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:23 That's the one in Houston. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:24 Yeah. The guys who were here yesterday, uh-

Gilbert Gottfried 51:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:28 ... Ari Shaffir, Shane Gilles and Mark Normand were on yesterday.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:31 Yes.

Joe Rogan 51:31 And they're headed down to Skankfest today.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:34 You could've rode down with them.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:35 Yeah. At- I- so- I- that- that wasn't even (laughs) a joke there, that I didn't know.

Joe Rogan 51:41 Didn't know?

Gilbert Gottfried 51:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:43 Who handles all your stuff? Your wife? Does she take care of everything?

Gilbert Gottfried 51:45 Uh, right now, my wife, uh, 'cause it seems like the agencies are falling apart.

Joe Rogan 51:50 'Cause a lot of them are falling apart.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:52 Yeah. Well, they just didn't have anybody working for-

Gilbert Gottfried 51:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:54 ... over a year. Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 51:56 And, and the funny thing that the pandemic showed me is without agents, my career hasn't been that much worse, you know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:05 (laughs) Yeah. Well, if you don't- if you have someone like your wife that can take care of everything, it's, it's probably better to not know where you're going.

Gilbert Gottfried 52:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:15 Just don't think about it.

Gilbert Gottfried 52:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:16 Just show up.

Gilbert Gottfried 52:17 Yeah. Somebody just te-... Well, I- it always gets me when, you know, they'll show- to get a laugh, they'll show a politician or a singer on stage who says, "I love you, Ohio," and then it turns out they weren't in Ohio. And I- see, I don't laugh at that because when I'm doing cl-... I could- I'll be walking through the city and I don't know what city I'm in.

Joe Rogan 52:45 Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 52:46 And, and people will recognize me and ask me, "Oh, where are you playing on..." I won't know the name of the club. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:53 (laughs) Well, good thing nowadays they can actually find it. They can just-

Gilbert Gottfried 52:57 Yes.

Joe Rogan 52:57 ... Google it.

Gilbert Gottfried 52:58 Yes.

Joe Rogan 52:58 Yeah. It's not that hard to take that extra step. But yeah, that's a weird feeling when you wake up in a hotel room and you stare at the ceiling and you forget where you are.

Gilbert Gottfried 53:07 Oh, absolutely.

Joe Rogan 53:08 That happens a lot.

Gilbert Gottfried 53:09 And, and, uh, I get these dreams where sometimes I'll be home and I'll get to dream, like, that I'm there and I have to find some way of getting home.

Joe Rogan 53:24 Oh. Interesting.

Gilbert Gottfried 53:25 And so you get- I'll get mixed up with my dreams. Or you're sleeping and you think you're home, and then you go, "Hm, this bed feels different. I don't know why." And, uh, and you reach for the lamp and go, "Wait a minute, the lamp was always on this side. Why can't I find it?" (laughs) And then you turn it on, it's like, whoa, a different place.

Joe Rogan 53:49 Do you- when you go on the road, do you just do weekends and places? Like, how m- how often were you going on the road before?

Gilbert Gottfried 53:55 Yeah. Oh, I used to- it used to be, like, every week.

Joe Rogan 53:59 Every week a different-

Gilbert Gottfried 54:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:00 ... club somewhere?

Gilbert Gottfried 54:00 Yeah. And I would do those, like, ones that would be from, like, Thursday through Sunday or-

Joe Rogan 54:08 Oh, you did those, huh?

Gilbert Gottfried 54:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:09 Oof.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:09 And now I- now the shortest amount I have to work (laughs) , I enjoy the most.

Joe Rogan 54:16 Yeah, I like weekends. Just Friday-

Gilbert Gottfried 54:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:18 ... Saturday back home, sorry.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:20 Yeah. Those guys that do those Thursday through Sunday gigs, boy-

Gilbert Gottfried 54:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:24 ... they get tired.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:25 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:25 When you ba- by the time Sunday show rolls around, you're fucking exhausted.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:29 Also, I've done a bunch of shows over the years where, like, it was three shows a night.And-

Joe Rogan 54:38 Oof.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:38 ... by that third show, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:43 (laughs) You don't remember what you said.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:45 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:46 You could, you, you think, "Did I just say that joke? The joke I'm saying now, did I say it five times already?"

Joe Rogan 54:52 (laughs) Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 54:52 It's, you, you don't know.

Joe Rogan 54:53 (laughing) Yeah, it's 'cause once you're in the groove of actually telling your jokes and actually y- doing your set, you think that you're in the same mindset that you were in two hours earlier for that show-

Gilbert Gottfried 55:07 Yes.

Joe Rogan 55:07 ... and two hours before that. You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:10 Yeah. Yeah, that, that's a surreal feeling.

Joe Rogan 55:14 The only thing that saved me is to have a very specific set list for those shows.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:19 Where I, uh, like, 'cause sometimes I'll fuck around and I put things out of order.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:24 I can't do that when I have three shows.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:26 Yeah, yeah-

Joe Rogan 55:26 I cannot.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:26 ... they say, "Yeah, the butcher shop-"

Joe Rogan 55:30 Mm-hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:30 "... now."

Joe Rogan 55:31 Yep.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:31 Uh, "The rollerskating one now."

Joe Rogan 55:34 Right, right, right. Yeah, it's, um, those guys that do those long weeks, and some of them do Wednesday through Sunday, they get tired. They wear out quicker. It's like-

Gilbert Gottfried 55:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:44 ... it's not good for you.

Gilbert Gottfried 55:46 And also, it's like that weird thing after you do a show. It's like you're exhausted, but you, uh, have too much adrenaline flowing to go to sleep.

Joe Rogan 55:59 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 56:00 So, you're, you're lying there in bed staring out, up at the ceiling-

Joe Rogan 56:04 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 56:04 ... going, "Oh, I'm gonna force myself to sleep."

Joe Rogan 56:07 Or worse, you're just watching TV mindlessly.

Gilbert Gottfried 56:10 Oh, horrible.

Joe Rogan 56:11 Yeah, staring at that screen, and then the blue light from the TV and the screens fucks with your head, and then-

Gilbert Gottfried 56:15 Oh, yes.

Joe Rogan 56:16 ... you can't sleep. Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 56:17 And then especially, like, I've wor- when you work in Vegas, they don't want to give you good channels to watch.

Joe Rogan 56:24 Right, right.

Gilbert Gottfried 56:25 So ...

Joe Rogan 56:27 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 56:28 Yeah, it, it's, and then I'll be switching around the channels, and it's like, I'll go, "Okay, this, this I really don't like, but it's less awful than the other things (laughs) that are going on."

Joe Rogan 56:44 Do you bring people with you when you go on the road, or do you just, like, accept-

Gilbert Gottfried 56:47 I, usually-

Joe Rogan 56:48 ... local acts?

Gilbert Gottfried 56:48 ... usually, it's just been me, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:51 And so whatever they have that opens for you, you just accept it?

Gilbert Gottfried 56:54 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:55 Okay.

Gilbert Gottfried 56:55 Us- usually, 'cause they'll say, uh, "Oh, what," you know, "what do you think of the opening?" Uh, uh, sometimes I'll have opening acts a lot. They'll go, "Oh, can you watch my set and tell me what you think?" And I-

Joe Rogan 57:07 Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 57:07 ... I never watch other comics.

Joe Rogan 57:10 Yeah, that's a big ask. Like if-

Gilbert Gottfried 57:13 A-

Joe Rogan 57:13 ... you're friends with a guy and he says, "Can you watch my set?" That's one thing. But if you don't even know the guy and he wants-

Gilbert Gottfried 57:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:18 ... you to be a consultant on his material, like come on, buddy.

Gilbert Gottfried 57:21 And, and it's also that thing of, you know, when you've been doing comedy a while, uh, the very best you could ask for watching a bit is, "Oh, that was clever." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:33 Yeah, exactly. How, what year did you start?

Gilbert Gottfried 57:37 Oh, God. Uh, pff, I think it was the end of the '60s.

Joe Rogan 57:43 No shit?

Gilbert Gottfried 57:44 Yeah. I was, I was 15 first time I got up on a stage.

Joe Rogan 57:48 Wow.

Gilbert Gottfried 57:49 And I should know, but I don't, like an idiot. I should know the first club I worked at. I don't remember the first club I worked at.

Joe Rogan 57:58 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 57:59 You'd think it would be an important event enough to remember, but I don't remember.

Joe Rogan 58:04 Well, what were the regular clubs that you worked at back then?

Gilbert Gottfried 58:06 Well, uh, first time, it was, uh, uh, you know, it was some club you went in and signed your name in the book, and then-

Joe Rogan 58:16 Mm-hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 58:16 ... yeah. Uh, but, uh, you know, of the clubs I've worked over the years, you know, there were the known ones, you know, Catch a Rising Star, The-

Joe Rogan 58:26 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 58:26 ... Improv, uh, Comic Strip, uh, uh, Bitter End. And then there'd be like a million of these clubs that would open for, like, two weeks, and you'd, you'd be, like, looking out for any place you could work for no money. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:44 Were there, in the late '60s, were there actual comedy clubs? Or were they-

Gilbert Gottfried 58:48 I, I think that-

Joe Rogan 58:48 ... like variety clubs?

Gilbert Gottfried 58:50 ... I think that came later or something. I remember, also I remember, uh, in comedy clubs, used to have singers also.

Joe Rogan 59:01 Hmm.

Gilbert Gottfried 59:02 And, like, well, you know, uh, Pat Benatar and, uh, Patty Smyth both came out of comedy clubs.

Joe Rogan 59:11 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 59:11 Yeah, they both used to pop up at Catch. And, uh, I, I remember, I would, you know, it was not uncommon, you'd walk into a comedy club and you'd hear, you know, "Everything has its season. Everything has its time." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:30 (laughs) And this is in the '70s?

Gilbert Gottfried 59:32 Uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:33 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 59:33 '70s, '80s, uh, yeah. Well, '80s, I think it started to make it more just... No, they still sta- had some singers there.

Joe Rogan 59:43 So, the, what was, like, the first club, the first actual stand-up club in the city? Was it The Improv? Was it Catch?

Gilbert Gottfried 59:51 That, I think, I think The Improv would be the oldest of those, but, I mean, before then, the-

Joe Rogan 59:58 So, that was the early '70s?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:00 Yeah, I would think so. Maybe, maybe it was, could've been even in the '60s. I don't know when Improv started.

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 And then Catch a Rising Star came after that. That was the first place I did in the city.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 And then, um, there was all the other ones, you know, The Cellar and, uh-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:18 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 ... Dangerfield's. I heard Dangerfield's went under recently.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:20 Oh, yes, just recently. I was in New York, and we were in a cab, and I looked out the window, and there's that big awning of Dangerfield's, and it said, like, "Room," uh, you know, "space for rent."

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Isn't that crazy?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 That place was always so weird. Like, it was never really packed.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:42 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:00:43 But it was a great room.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 It was an amazing room.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:46 Like, I'm wondering if his mob (laughs) friends were doing business there.

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 Most likely. It's, I mean-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:52 Well, that, another thing I always thought mob, uh, Grandpa Munster-

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 Yes.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:00:58 ... had his own restaurant.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 Yeah, Grandpa's.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:01 And, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:01 It was in Staten Island.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:02 And, and that place, I, I always think, uh, "Eh, I'm-

Joe Rogan 1:01:06 Maybe.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:06 ... sure, yeah." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 Yeah. (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:10 Oh, and-

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 They knew some friends.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:11 And, and, uh, uh, the chief from, uh, Gilligan's Island. He ha- he had his own restaurant.

Joe Rogan 1:01:20 Who was the chief?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:21 Uh, d- uh, what, what the fuck was-

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 The Skipper?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:23 S- the Skipper, Skipper.

Joe Rogan 1:01:24 Oh, okay.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:25 The Skipper, not the chief. The Skipper.

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 He had his own club?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:27 Yeah. What the fuck was that guy's name again? Uh, his father was an actor too.

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 I always felt-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:34 Uh...

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 ... bad for Gilligan, 'cause that poor motherfucker had to wear that hat till the day he died.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:37 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:01:39 That was his thing.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:39 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:01:39 He had to wear that stupid hat. That stupid-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:41 I've-

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 ... hat was his thing.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:42 I've, I've been to-

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 Here it is, Alan Hale Jr.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:45 Uh, Alan Hale Jr., yes. That woulda killed me.

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 And he had to wear his stupid hat too.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:51 Yes. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 Like, there was never a scene where he didn't have that stupid captain's hat on.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:01:55 And, and I, you know, I've done a few of these autograph conventions.

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:00 And you'll see these guys there, like, 90, signing autographs, and (laughs) they'll have their caps or funny hats that their-

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:09 ... character in TV shows would wear. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:12 Maybe Belushi went out the right way.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:14 Yes. I'd, I'd definitely-

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:17 ... think that.

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 Maybe that's better than just-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:19 Yeah, he-

Joe Rogan 1:02:19 ... arthritis hand, just trying-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:21 Yeah, he was feeling great on drugs, and, uh, and he was fucking some hooker, I-

Joe Rogan 1:02:27 Was he?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:29 Congratulations to him.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 And then we remember him as a legend. I mean, think about how many of the great musicians, rock stars went out that way. Hendrix, Morrison, Janis Joplin, you know?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:40 Oh, and do you know the Magic age?

Joe Rogan 1:02:43 27, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:44 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:02:44 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:44 27 (laughs) -

Joe Rogan 1:02:45 Isn't that wild?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:47 ... that is.

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 Was Amy Winehouse 27 as well?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:48 I think so.

Joe Rogan 1:02:50 That's a weird number that just keeps coming up over and over and over again.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:54 I wonder why?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:02:55 Oh, Amy Winehouse then, uh, I wanna name fa- (laughs) famous Jew rockers. Amy Winehouse was a Jew.

Joe Rogan 1:03:06 Uh, Bob Dylan.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:07 Uh, Bob Dylan. Uh, g-

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 One of the-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:09 Bob-

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 ... greats.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:10 ... Simonmen.

Joe Rogan 1:03:10 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:11 Yeah. Uh, oh, well, the Beastie Boys-

Joe Rogan 1:03:14 Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:14 ... were Jews.

Joe Rogan 1:03:15 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:15 Uh, Slash.

Joe Rogan 1:03:17 Slash is Jewish?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:17 Yeah. Slash.

Joe Rogan 1:03:18 Interesting.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:19 Yeah. (laughs) Oh, who else of the rock? Oh, oh, well, I guess, uh, uh, Neil-

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 Gene Simmons.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:27 Neil Diamond.

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 Gene Simmons from KISS.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:29 Oh, yes, yes, of course. They were all Jews, KISS. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:34 Um, uh, Geddy Lee, Lou Reed. Wow.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:37 Lou Reed was a Jew?

Joe Rogan 1:03:39 David Lee Roth, Billy Joel, Paul Simon. Wow. Neil Diamond. Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz is Jewish?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:47 Uh, yeah, well, Kravitz. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:03:51 I know, but it just doesn't-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:52 It, yeah-

Joe Rogan 1:03:52 You know, you, you think of-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:53 ... it doesn't make sense.

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 ... him as, like, a hippy. Adam Levine.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:56 K- well, yeah. Yeah, well, obviously-

Joe Rogan 1:03:58 Wow, Mark Knopfler.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:03:59 ... Levine. Wait, wait, who's the pretty girl there?

Joe Rogan 1:04:02 Which one? Paul Simon?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:03 Oh, Susanna Hoffs from the Bengals.

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:06 Yeah, that's right. Wow.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:09 And-

Joe Rogan 1:04:09 Steven Adler from Guns N' Roses.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:10 ... A- Arlo, Arlo Guthrie was a Jew.

Joe Rogan 1:04:13 Uh, Adam Duritz.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 Yeah. Interesting. Art Garfunkel, Courtney Love was Jewish? No kidding.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:20 Geez.

Joe Rogan 1:04:21 Wow. The Jews run everything. It's true.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:26 They're right. The conspiracies are correct. I woulda never guessed Lou Reed.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:30 Yeah. No, I wouldn't have guessed that one either.

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 The Jews run everything does work.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:34 Eh, yes, yes. I have to admit it myself. (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:37 How do you guys run it? Do you run it from-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 Is there an organization?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:41 Yeah, we sh-

Joe Rogan 1:04:41 Or is it just known-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:42 ... w- we get involved in everything. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:45 (laughs) It's funny how, uh, if you go back to the early days of show business, it really was dominated by Jewish folks.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:51 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:04:52 You know?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:53 And, oh.

Joe Rogan 1:04:54 Lenny Bruce.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:04:55 Someone who, oh, this is another one of my favorite topics. Uh, Jew, famous Jew pieces of ass.

Joe Rogan 1:05:05 Okay. How many really hot Jewish ladies?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:08 Yeah. Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 Give me them.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:10 Natalie Portman.

Joe Rogan 1:05:12 There you go.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:13 Scarlett Johansson.

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 Scarlett Johansson?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:15 Yeah. Uh, Mila Kunis.

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 Mm.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:18 Uh, oh, Ringo's wife, Barbara Bach.

Joe Rogan 1:05:22 I don't know who that lady is.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:23 Yeah, she was a famous model. Look up-

Joe Rogan 1:05:26 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:26 ... look up Barbara Bach. Maybe you can get her Playboy pictures.

Joe Rogan 1:05:30 Oh, boy. This is getting-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:32 So, w-

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 ... racy, as they say.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:33 So we could, (laughs) we could jerk off to a woman who's in her 90s.

Joe Rogan 1:05:37 Is she in her 90s now?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:38 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 Is she still kicking?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:40 That's gotta be rough when a lady loses that. You have this immense power over everyone just by your mere presence-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:46 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:05:46 ... and then it just goes away. That's her back in the-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:49 Uh, yes.

Joe Rogan 1:05:50 ... day. Woof, look at her face.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:51 Look at that picture in the middle. There, look at that. God, she's-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:54 ... gorgeous.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:55 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:05:56 Woo. She's so pretty.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:05:58 See, Ringo, the one they all laugh at, look what he winds up with.

Joe Rogan 1:06:03 Wow. Good job, Ringo.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:06 Meanwhile, Paul McCartney, what the fuck?

Joe Rogan 1:06:08 That poor bastard.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:10 Yeah. That lady that he married with no, one leg, what a-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:13 ... fucking monster she was.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:15 Like, even I can (laughs) , even I can find women to fuck who have two legs. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:20 Well, if she had one leg and she was nice, that would be great.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:23 Yeah, yes.

Joe Rogan 1:06:24 But there was, uh, some, when he was breaking up with her and she was blackmailing him or threatening-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:30 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:30 ... to come out with, uh, see-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:31 Major fucking bitch.

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 ... she knows so much about him. Like, like, what do you know? Uh, uh, what the fuck? Paul McCartney?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:38 Like, go ahead and talk. No one's-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:39 ... gonna listen to you. Like-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:41 But he gave her some insane amount of money-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:44 Oh, I heard it's something-

Joe Rogan 1:06:45 ... for a very short relationship.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:46 ... like, like, something like-... uh, like 275 million. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:51 Yeah, and it was a short relationship.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:53 They had a child together, though, right? Didn't they?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:06:55 I think so.

Joe Rogan 1:06:57 (smacks lips) Yeah. That's if you're a monster and you wanna rope a man in-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:00 ... that's what you do. Have a child with him, then you got him. No prenup, probably.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:05 'Cause he was a knucklehead.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:07 Well, he was, uh ... Unfortunately, his situation was he had a relationship with his wife, I guess. This is what I'm hearing. I don't know anything about him. But that he had a great relationship with his r- first wife, he loved her, and then she died.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:20 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:07:21 And then he prob-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:21 Oh, that was, that was, um-

Joe Rogan 1:07:23 Linda.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:24 Linda Eastman.

Joe Rogan 1:07:26 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:26 So he was probably used to that being the kind of relationship that he had-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:31 ... like a really great relationship.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:33 He could trust her-

Joe Rogan 1:07:34 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:34 ... and everything.

Joe Rogan 1:07:34 So, he probably assumed, "Oh, I found another one. We're gonna be okay. This is my new love of my life."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:41 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:07:41 And then she turned out to be a monster. I remember listening to an interview with-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:46 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:07:46 ... people talking about him. I'm like, "Jesus Christ, listen to this lady."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:07:48 Oh, she was fucking horrible.

Joe Rogan 1:07:50 B- b- t- Judge berates Heather Mills. The judge berate. The judge in Paul McCartney's divorce settlement berated the former Beatles estranged wife, Heather Mills, for giving "inconsistent and inaccurate evidence," according to the details of the ruling released on Tuesday. If I was him, I would've dragged that divorce-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:08 And-

Joe Rogan 1:08:08 ... out to the end of time.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:09 ... and, and here, here's an- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:11 I would've, I would've lost money for spite. I would've been like, "Let's have a game."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:15 Oh, and here's a, a, another article. Uh, judge calls Heather Mills a fucking cunt.

Joe Rogan 1:08:22 Did it ... is that what he said?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:23 Which I ... (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:24 Is that what it says?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:26 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:26 What is the number?

Narrator 1:08:27 She asked for f- 250 and she ended up getting 48.7.

Joe Rogan 1:08:30 Gods, she asked for too- Imagine asking someone you were married for a couple years-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:34 ... m- a- a- asking for $250 million.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:37 "Hey, you fucked me for, like, 12 months."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:39 "I want a quarter of a billion."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:41 Yeah. How great was her pussy (laughs) that she could charge that?

Joe Rogan 1:08:45 It wasn't that good.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:46 No. No.

Joe Rogan 1:08:46 I'm gonna tell you right now, there's no way.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:48 Couldn't be that good.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:50 No, the pussy's-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:52 It's just ... It's normal.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:54 It's ver- great.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:55 I'm sure it's great.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:08:55 Yeah. Yeah. That's ... It's fine.

Joe Rogan 1:08:57 But not a quarter billion dollars. How many fucking songs he had to sing to make a quarter billion?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:02 Oh, God, yeah.

Narrator 1:09:03 She also conducted her own defense.

Joe Rogan 1:09:06 Oh, that bitch was so crazy.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:08 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:09:08 But she made a way with 48 million.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:10 Yeah. So-

Joe Rogan 1:09:11 Congratulations.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:11 ... she wasn't that stupid. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:13 You monsters.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:13 Well, also, if you marry somebody that rich, you know, you could get a chimpanzee as your lawyer and you'll wind up with a fortune.

Joe Rogan 1:09:23 Yeah, you'll get something. You'll get a s- a nice slice. I mean, the Beatles were, like, billionaires, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:28 Weren't they? At the-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:29 ... time they died? And why did everybody make fun of Ringo? Why was he the, the joke?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:34 (smacks lips) I don't know. They all thought, you know, the other three, they were named, you know, great musicians and he's just, you know, goofy looking guy playing drums (laughs) and-

Joe Rogan 1:09:46 People didn't respect drummers for a long time.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:49 Yeah. I don't know why. Drummers just-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:52 ... they got a bad rap. It was the guy out in the front with the guitar and the singer. Those are the guys you wanted to be.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:09:57 Oh, yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:09:58 Yeah. Maybe if you were low key, you could be the bass player.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:02 But that fucking idiot with the drums, nobody respected until they did. And then, you know, somewhere along the line, guys like, you know, like, w- who were the great drummers?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:11 Oh, there was a one-arm drummer-

Joe Rogan 1:10:14 Oh, from-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:14 ... uh-

Joe Rogan 1:10:14 ... Def Leppard.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:15 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:10:15 Yeah, he lost his arm in a car crash.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:16 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:10:17 Yeah. There's been ... You know, drummers are very respected now, though. Ph- Phil Collins was a drummer, right? Wasn't he?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:23 Oh, oh yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:25 Yeah. Uh, Tommy Lee-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:28 Ah-

Joe Rogan 1:10:28 ... from Mötley Crüe.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:29 Uh, singer, drummer, uh, Karen Carpenter.

Joe Rogan 1:10:34 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:35 Travis Barker, of course. He's famous for being a drummer. Yeah, he's like the most famous guy, yeah, of the bands he's been in, and he's a drummer. That's interesting, right? It's like some drummers break through for-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:49 ... whatever reason.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:10:51 They said, uh, there's an old joke, uh, why is, uh, is a drum solo like a sneeze? Uh, you, you know it's coming, but there's nothing you could do to stop it.

Joe Rogan 1:11:07 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:07 Solos were a big part of performances, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:09 Yes. And yeah, and that drum thing would be, "Oh, he's got a lot of energy." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:14 Yeah. Look at him banging on those drums.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:16 Yeah. Wow. He really-

Joe Rogan 1:11:19 The guitar solo was always better.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:22 Like, um ... But then there's guitar solos that are planned out. Like, that was one of the interesting things about Lynyrd Skynyrd. Like, when they did a guitar solo, it was orchestrated.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:32 Like, every single part of that solo was prepped. Like, like, for, uh, Freebird. Like, that, that-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:42 ... that long as- which is one of the most amazing guitar solos in the history of music.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:46 That is all completely planned out. Like, every single note is completely planned out. And they repeated it over and over again live in concert.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:11:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:57 It's interesting, 'cause most guitar solos, like, the guy would just start riffing and-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:01 ... going off and-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:02 Yeah, just-

Joe Rogan 1:12:02 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:02 ... do whatever hits him.

Joe Rogan 1:12:04 Yeah, yeah. Not that.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:05 I, I'm, I'm sure there are a lot of ones that even if they weren't originally planned out, after doing them for years, it looks like the guy's riffing, but-

Joe Rogan 1:12:17 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:18 ... his hands are just playing it already.

Joe Rogan 1:12:20 Right. Right. Which is how it gets to be like comedy as well.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:25 Right? Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:12:26 Yeah. I, y- you know, there are those bits you do where it's like ... A- and I'm sure, i- oh, it's like ... And I'm sure, yeah, with singers and with p- r- you know, stage actors, after a while, you could be doing something dramatic or whatever, and it's like, it's like saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

Joe Rogan 1:12:47 Yeah. Yeah. They, they probably just are-... phoning it in after a while. Unless they're not, unless they're still enjoying it, you know? I mean, uh, I've been doing stand-up now for 33 years, and, uh, I, th- one thing that did happen during the pandemic was, when I started doing it again, I really, it, it, it... Not that I ever had no appreciation for it, but it reignited my appreciation to an even higher degree. Because, uh, having all tho- that time off, and it almost went away, and now that we're doing shows again, it just, it's so, it feels like magic again. It's exciting.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:13:25 Uh, well, it's like, 'cause I, what I noticed it, you know, like I said, where I said, you know, "What bits do I actually do, and what am I doing?" And then you realize, "Oh, this is something that I do. This does take effort."

Joe Rogan 1:13:41 Yeah. It does take effort. But it also, th- to see it as a person in the audience too. One of the things that I did when I came back is I would sit down and watch my friends do standup, and enjoy it. I'm like, "God, this is fun."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:13:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:56 This is a great thing to go see.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:13:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:58 It's an exciting thing to go s- th- as an art form, uh, as an audience member, it's a very exciting thing to see. I, it, it reignited my appreciation for it in a, in a greater way.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:09 The- there's a, um, a line, and I think it's Network News, that one with William Hurt and... Uh, Ahl, uh, Albert Brooks.

Joe Rogan 1:14:20 I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take anything. No, that was Network.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:23 Oh, oh, oh, that, that, that was Network.

Joe Rogan 1:14:24 Okay.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:24 But I think this other one was Network News, the one-

Joe Rogan 1:14:28 What is that?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:28 It's got William Hurt. Hey.

Joe Rogan 1:14:31 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:32 (laughs) Hey, what the fuck are you doing over there?

Joe Rogan 1:14:34 Hey, Danny.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:36 (laughs) Oh, God. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:14:39 (laughs) Network News. Is that it?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:41 I think so.

Joe Rogan 1:14:42 There it is. Broadcast News.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:43 Broadcast News.

Joe Rogan 1:14:45 Ah. Joe and Cusack?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:14:46 There's one part where William Hurt is teaching Albert Brooks how to do the news. And he says, "When you find yourself just reading it, stop." And he goes, "You sell people the news." And it's like, if it's a b- I, I, I, it, I understood it exactly, 'cause if it's a bit you've been doing for a while, you know, like, rah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, and then you gotta go, "Oh, wait, wait. Let me actually, uh, perform this." (laughs) Rather than-

Joe Rogan 1:15:19 Yes.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:15:20 ... yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:15:21 Yeah. Well, you got... The thing about comedy to me has always been, if I care about what I'm saying, then it's gonna be good.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:15:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:15:28 But if I don't care about what I'm saying, I'm, it's g- the audience are gonna know.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:15:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:15:32 They smell it.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:15:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:15:32 They smell it. Right?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:15:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:15:35 When you were 15, when you started, uh, had you been a fan of watching comedy before you did it? Like...

Gilbert Gottfried 1:15:40 Well, I, I was a fan of just, I was just a fan of show business and a- actors and comics and, uh, so I started watching people on TV and imitating them. And so, when I first, the first, uh, couple of years, like maybe two, three years that I was doing it, I wasn't that different than like, you know, when they used to have impressionists, you know? Rich Little, Frank Gorshin, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:16:14 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:14 Will Jordan. And, you know, that, uh, hey, you know, which was always like, "Ah, and imagine if your waiter was Cary Grant. It-"

Joe Rogan 1:16:26 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:26 "... might go something (laughs) like this."

Joe Rogan 1:16:28 That was a lot of people's act back then.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:31 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:16:31 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:31 And, and you don't see, with the exception of Las Vegas, you'll see impressionists.

Joe Rogan 1:16:37 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:38 But you, you don't see them on TV. There used to be all those guys.

Joe Rogan 1:16:42 There used to be prop guys too.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:43 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:16:45 Yeah. But then Carrot Top became so successful...

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:49 ... that like, he owns props now.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:50 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:16:51 He's the only prop guy.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:52 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:16:52 It's kind of amazing what he's done.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:54 It, it really is. I-

Joe Rogan 1:16:55 He's taken over the prop genre. It is-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:58 Peo-

Joe Rogan 1:16:58 ... all Carrot Top.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:16:59 People joke and insult him, but boy, he does own props.

Joe Rogan 1:17:04 He's a funny guy. They shouldn't insult him.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:06 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:17:06 He's a nice guy, he's a funny guy.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:08 He is.

Joe Rogan 1:17:09 He's very prolific. And he's been, he, you know, he's been doing his show out of Vegas for, God, I wanna say like 15 years now. Solid.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:18 It's always packed.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:19 And, and he's one of those people, like there are those list of people who you feel like, "Oh, I gotta, they have to be insulted. They're no good."

Joe Rogan 1:17:29 Well, it's like Nickelback. Like, it's an easy punchline.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:32 Like, even though Nickelback has some songs that you might actually enjoy, when you wanna shit on a band for being like a top 40, sort of, you know, cookie-cutter band, you go with Nickelback. And then it's like, "Bah! Ha ha ha." It's one of those...

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:47 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:17:47 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:48 It, or like, like, I don't know who Anne Hathaway killed that we, we have to hate Anne Hathaway.

Joe Rogan 1:17:56 (laughs) She killed somebody?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:57 Uh, no. I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:17:58 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 1:17:58 It's, uh, yeah. It feels like it.

Joe Rogan 1:18:00 People don't like Anne Hathaway?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:01 Yeah. Yeah, oh, Anne Hathaway.

Joe Rogan 1:18:03 I've never heard that before.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:03 Oh, she was a famous person to hate for the longest time.

Joe Rogan 1:18:09 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:09 And, uh, yeah. And I'm thinking, she's, you know, really pretty girl, she's a good actress, uh, and, uh, what school b- bus did she blow up?

Joe Rogan 1:18:22 (laughs) Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:22 And yeah, she used to be a famous one. Al- also, I, I, uh, somebody got me tickets to see Barry Manilow. Another one you're supposed to hate.

Joe Rogan 1:18:33 Right, you're supposed to hate Barry Manilow.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:34 And I thought, "This is a good show."

Joe Rogan 1:18:37 (laughs) Listen.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:37 He's got a lot of fans for a reason.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:40 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:41 Same thing, like, I saw, uh, Wayne Newton live, and I thought that, that was a great show.

Joe Rogan 1:18:46 I met Wayne Newton once. Uh, I've never seen him live, but, uh, I just wish I was his friend and tell him to like, slow down.Like, whatever you're doing with your face-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:55 (laughs) Ow!

Joe Rogan 1:18:56 ... slow down.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:57 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:58 That's not helping.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:18:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:59 Like, you just look different. You don't look better.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:02 I-

Joe Rogan 1:19:02 Like, you're better a- especially as a man?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:04 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:05 Like, just get older.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:07 I-

Joe Rogan 1:19:07 Don't do that.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:08 I, I predict that eventually, years from now, they'll have it where you age til you're, like, 20, and then it stops. You stop aging after that.

Joe Rogan 1:19:22 Yes, for sure, and then they'll probably actually be able to take you from where you're at right now-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:28 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:19:28 ... and bring you back to, like, when you're 20.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:31 Uh, when you're in, in your prime.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:32 Or grow a whole new you, and then-

Joe Rogan 1:19:35 And then pull your head out.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:37 And then put a brain in the other one.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:38 Yes. That's-

Joe Rogan 1:19:39 But then you get Alzheimer's in a 20-year-old body.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:19:41 Imagine that. Like, "Shit, we haven't perfected it yet."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:45 Yeah, yeah. Now, I've got loads of energy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:19:49 Well, there's a lot of doctors that are looking, doctors and scientists and researchers that are looking at aging as a disease instead of looking at it-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:19:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:57 ... as just inevitability. It's just, they're thinking it's a disease that everybody has. And, and treating it that way, they can, instead of saying, "Oh, it's inevitable. Let's just prolong your health as long as possible."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:20:08 Yeah, cure this disease.

Joe Rogan 1:20:09 Yeah, yeah. They're trying to cure it, and they're trying to make it so that as your cells, uh, regenerate and, you know, as you replicate, that you don't have errors.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:20:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:20:20 Like, that's what liver spots are and-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:20:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:20:22 ... when your skin loses collagen and all the things that turn you into an older person. They're trying to figure out ways to mitigate that.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:20:30 See, that's one of those things, like, whenever I go to a doctor or a dentist, I always think, "For this visit, can I take a time machine 1,000 years f- to, from now?"

Joe Rogan 1:20:45 In the future, right.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:20:46 Yeah, where it's like, where you'll go in and it's like, uh, you'll go, "Oh, I, uh, I need heart surgery," and they'll go, "Heart surgery? That's so medieval. (laughs) Here, let's shine this light on you and you'll be fine."

Joe Rogan 1:21:03 Yeah, they'll just put you in a scanner. It'll find everything that's wrong-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:07 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:21:07 ... and then just repair it from outside.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:09 Yes, and more and more, they're doing it where they, uh, treat the fetus and they can examine what you're likely to get, what diseases.

Joe Rogan 1:21:20 Really?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:21 Yeah, they're, they're doing more and more work like that nowadays.

Joe Rogan 1:21:25 The, the thing that scares me about that is, like, what if you find out that your kid has a potential for a disease and you decide to abort it?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:33 Ah. That's, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:35 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:35 That's gonna bring a lot of, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:21:37 Ethical questions.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:38 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:21:39 Yeah, because if you find out early on that your k- like, maybe the, the fetus is only, like, 15 weeks old or 12 weeks old or something like that...

Gilbert Gottfried 1:21:49 Oh, that, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:50 Well, 12 is three months. Like, let's say, what is the, the awful abortion law in Texas? I think it was six weeks, which everybody thought was insane, and I agree 'cause it's like, six weeks is like, it's, like, that big.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:22:04 But what if they found out somehow or another? Like, I know that some women are preemptively having their breasts removed because they have the gene-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:13 Ah, yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 1:22:14 ... that may lead to breast cancer. So, with no, nothing wrong with their breasts-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:19 I think, uh, what's her name?

Joe Rogan 1:22:21 Angelina Jolie.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:22 Angelina Jolie, and didn't, uh, also, uh, Christina Applegate?

Joe Rogan 1:22:27 Did she do that as well?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:28 I think so.

Joe Rogan 1:22:29 Hmm. That's a tough call. I mean, breast cancer's horrible, but isn't, is there a way to avoid it? Like, would... I mean, I don't know. I don't know what would avoid something. Like, I had a guy in here a couple of days ago, Rob Kearney, who's a strongman, like, a just big fucking manly guy, had bowel cancer out of nowhere.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:50 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:22:50 And it, it, he said it spread so fast.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:52 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:22:53 And he had to get one of his testicles removed.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:56 Oh, jeez.

Joe Rogan 1:22:57 Yeah, exactly.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:22:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:22:58 Like, nothing wrong with him, super healthy, eats well, super fit, like, big, strong, powerful guy.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:04 Th- that's, that's the thing that always gets me when I'll hear, like, someone I know died, and I'll say, "Oh, well, how old was he?" And you're waiting for them to say, "Oh, he was 98." And then you find out he's much younger than you thought he was, and I'll go, "But he drank and did drugs, right?" No, never touched it.

Joe Rogan 1:23:26 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:27 And he-

Joe Rogan 1:23:27 Sometimes people just have a genetic thing-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:23:29 ... and they, just things stop working and it just shuts off and then they die. Yeah, it sucks.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:36 So, this has been a fun interview. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:23:37 Fun show. Um, when you were a little kid, who were the comics that inspired you to start doing standup?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:44 So many. Uh, I always thought inspired meant, uh, plagiarize, but-

Joe Rogan 1:23:50 (laughs)

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:23:51 That was the old days.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:23:52 There was a lot of plagiarism back in those days, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:23:55 Oh, yeah. It's funny. You talk about it now, "Oh, this guy's a joke. See if that guy..." Back then, I, I think there were about, like, 100 people doing, "Who's on first?" You know? And, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:24:06 Hmm. Right.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:08 And, um-

Joe Rogan 1:24:09 There was no accountab- uh, uh, no accountability back then, right?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:12 No, no.

Joe Rogan 1:24:13 Didn't get in trouble.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:14 Yeah, and, uh, but yeah, I, I remember the old guys were still around, like Jack Benny, Groucho.

Joe Rogan 1:24:23 Did you get to see Groucho live?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:25 I, I did.

Joe Rogan 1:24:26 Wow.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:26 I saw it at, at, uh, Carnegie Hall.

Joe Rogan 1:24:28 Wow.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:29 I, I mean, granted, he was... See, that's the Groucho I became the most... I mean, I loved the Marx Brothers movies, except, uh, you know, they hit a point where their movies were really (laughs) , had grown horrible.

Joe Rogan 1:24:44 Oh, really?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:24:44 Yeah, yeah. The first couple of movies with Paramount, you know, uh, Horse Feathers, Animal Crackers, and, uh, Duck Soup, great. And then, yeah. Oh, oh, but, um...I got fascinated with Groucho after I hadn't seen him for, uh, years on TV, and, um, I never met him. I, uh, I hadn't seen him come on TV for years, and then you s- would see him pop up on, like, The Dick Cavett Show, and it would be like, "Well, I remember when I... we would play at a theater."

Joe Rogan 1:25:27 Oh.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:27 "And a theater was a place where p- performers would go on stage and an audience would watch them."

Joe Rogan 1:25:38 Oh, no.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:39 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:25:40 That's just... I w- I went on after Richard Pryor. I followed Richard-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:44 ...Pryor for, like, five or six weeks at-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:47 ...The Comedy Store when he was in a wheelchair.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:49 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:25:50 And so they would carry him-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:52 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:25:53 ...to the stage-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:54 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:55 ...and, uh, set him down, and they would crank the mic way up, like, "Ch, ch, ch, ch."

Gilbert Gottfried 1:25:59 Yes. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:01 Like, you would hear the mic was cranked as loud as it could, and he was a shell of himself.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:07 He was dying-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:08 ...and he was on all kinds of medication, and he was drinking.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:11 And he would go on stage, and he... uh, the audience would be so sad.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:16 And then I would have to go on after him, and it would take five minutes-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:21 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:21 ...to get him from the stage to the back of the room.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:24 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:26:24 And so while that was happening, I would be on stage.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:27 Yeah, so everything you're doing for that... at least the first, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:26:32 Yeah.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:32 ...three-quarters of your act.

Joe Rogan 1:26:33 The first couple minutes are rough, and, you know, I would just try to l- lighten up the mood a little bit because you could see it in people's faces. They were-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:43 ...like, "Oh," 'cause they were... a lot of them, you would see folks that were a little older that were fans of Richard Pryor when he was in his prime.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:52 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:52 And then they had, uh, this opportunity, "Oh, we got a chance to see Richard Pryor live. Let's go see him," and they thought they were gonna go see Richard Pryor-

Gilbert Gottfried 1:26:59 Oh, yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:27:00 So it was, it was one thing because you were in the presence of a legend.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:27:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:27:04 Like, you, you did have that feeling. Like, "I can't believe I'm, uh, around the real Richard Pryor." But to me, it was also incredibly bittersweet 'cause you're, you're seeing him in his last days of life.

Gilbert Gottfried 1:27:17 And I, I once got... I once worked for two weeks on a movie that was the last of the, uh, Gene Wilder/Richard Pryor movies. It was, like, beyond a piece of shit.

Joe Rogan 1:27:32 What was it?

Gilbert Gottfried 1:27:33 It, it, it was called... I didn't make it to the final cut, but it was called Another You, and it was