Joe Rogan Experience #1729 - Gilbert Gottfried

1. 0:00 – 1:56

   Finally meeting: radio fading and movies “on life support”

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (instrumental music)

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Hello, Gilbert.

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried0:13

      Oh, hello.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I can't believe I haven't met you.

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried0:17

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      It's-

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried0:17

      I know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      ... been a while.

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried0:18

      Tha- Yeah, I don't think... Yeah, I don't think we've ever met.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       No, it's, uh... We just must have just missed each other at every club.

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried0:26

       Yeah. Yeah, like, I-

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Which is kinda crazy.

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried0:29

       Y- Yes, and we haven't even run into each other at the morning radio, uh, stations-

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       No, nothing.

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried0:36

       ... where I'll, I'll usually run into comics.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       Yeah.

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried0:40

       You know, doing like Captain Bob and Crazy Jim in his morning zoo.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Yeah, those are a lot of fun.

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried0:46

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Are those s- around anymore? You still do those things?

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried0:49

       I don't... Uh, is radio totally dead now?

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       It's not dead, but it's definitely on life support.

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried0:54

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       It's just, they're censored, you know? It's... And it's, you know, local, it's only like a, a small round arrange, unless you're on satellite radio. And satellite radio's kinda odd too, 'cause there's the internet. You can't really... You know, satellite radio is, it's hard for them to compete with the internet.

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried1:12

       So, uh, radio's on life support, and movies are on life support.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:19

       (clicks tongue) Movies are doing good apparently.

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried1:20

       Yeah?

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:21

       People are going to the movies. These reckless young folks, they don't give a fuck about diseases.

   29. GGGilbert Gottfried1:24

       Yeah. No, I, I think even before, even before like it was, uh, e- the pandemic, movies, you know, they've got to that point where it's like, a movie would be in theaters and also, uh, at, at home on TV, so-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:41

       Yeah.
2. 1:56 – 4:40

   Virtual comedy clubs, screens-as-audience, and the future of sex robots

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:56

      Do you think we'll ever get to a point where there's gonna be virtual comedy clubs, where you'll be at home and you'll be watching stand-up, like, in an audience? Like, you'll e- you'll feel like you're in an audience 'cause you're watching them live. Like, you'll be able to buy a ticket for like Zanies at 8:00 PM on Friday, but you'll be able to watch it from home.

   2. GGGilbert Gottfried2:13

      So you could sit in your underwear-

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:15

      Yeah.

   4. GGGilbert Gottfried2:15

      ... and watch? I, I th- I think so. I... 'Cause, I mean, already, like, I did a show on the internet, and, uh, other people have done stand-up on the internet during the pandemic, and it shows sh- you really... So they could put it... And, and, I think they could put in an audience there with you.

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:39

      Well, I think, uh, they're doing stuff like that now where you'll have like... John Heffron was doing this before. Do you know John Heffron, Kong?

   6. GGGilbert Gottfried2:47

      Uh, I, I probably have spoken to him 500 times-

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:51

      (laughs)

   8. GGGilbert Gottfried2:51

      ... and don't remember him.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:53

      Very funny guy.

   10. GGGilbert Gottfried2:53

       (laughs) Yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:54

       Anyway, John, uh, before the pandemic, was doing these corporate gigs where they would bring him to a place, and he would stand in front of an array of screens, like 30 or 40 screens, and he would do his act, and you could see the people, their faces, like-

   12. GGGilbert Gottfried3:10

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:10

       ... they were audience members.

   14. GGGilbert Gottfried3:12

       Oh, so I... Yeah, yeah, I definitely could see that happening, the same, uh... I... Here's something I wonder. If, are they ever going to build, like they make, uh, animatronic people, or what, what's it called when it's half animatronic and half person?

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:34

       Cyborg?

   16. GGGilbert Gottfried3:35

       Cyborg. Are there ever gonna be... I'm sure they will have it, cyborg hookers?

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:41

       Oh yeah, for sure.

   18. GGGilbert Gottfried3:41

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:42

       It'll probably be more robot hookers, 'cause people will still be concerned about an actual biological human who's a hooker.

   20. GGGilbert Gottfried3:48

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:49

       Which is odd. You know who no one gives a fuck about? Male hookers.

   22. GGGilbert Gottfried3:53

       No. No.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:53

       No one's trying to protect male hookers.

   24. GGGilbert Gottfried3:54

       No, nothing.

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:56

       Not at all.

   26. GGGilbert Gottfried3:56

       They, they could all get killed.

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:58

       (laughs)

   28. GGGilbert Gottfried4:00

       (laughs) It's like...

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:00

       It's true.

   30. GGGilbert Gottfried4:01

       Yeah. It's like-
3. 4:40 – 6:50

   Gender dynamics in everyday life: hidden-camera kindness and “puppy traps”

   1. GGGilbert Gottfried4:40

      I remember they once did an ex- They once, uh, on TV, they once filmed... They had a hidden camera by an air pump at a gas station, and, uh, they... Like, they'd have like a pretty girl show up with, with her bicycle, and go, "I, I don't know how to operate this thing. I, I'm all confused," and a million guys would run over, "Oh, oh, it's okay. This is very complicated, let me do it for you." And then they'd have a guy with a bicycle say, "I don't know," and they'd say, "What are you, an asshole?" (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan5:21

      (laughs) Men don't get to break, Gilbert.

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried5:24

      No.

   4. JRJoe Rogan5:24

      It's horrible.

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried5:25

      No.

   6. JRJoe Rogan5:25

      It's sad out there, but it is true, because the guys are probably trying to fuck the woman.

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried5:30

      Yes.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:31

      Or at least get her to like them, 'cause men like it when women like us.

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried5:36

      And, um, I remember one time sitting in like, it was like a bus ter- or a train terminal, and there was some pretty girl there with her dog, and I thought, "Boy, it's amazing how many guys at this terminal are curious what kind of dog that is-" (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:58

       (laughs)

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried5:58

       "... and, (laughs) and what kind of pet it makes." You know? It's such... Every guy was like, "Oh, uh, what a nice dog. What kind of-" (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:07

       Yeah. It's a trick.Yeah, and like guys with puppies. That's why they get puppies, they get puppies to get the opposite.

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried6:14

       Yes.

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:14

       So the women come up-

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried6:16

       Yes.

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:16

       ... to 'em, "Oh my God, so cute, so cute." Especially guys with like a little puppy.

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried6:20

       Oh, oh, oh forget it.

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:22

       A little, little Shih Tzu puppy.

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried6:23

       Yes.

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:23

       You know something like that.

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried6:26

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:26

       (laughs) It's a trap.

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried6:29

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:29

       It's a trap. How many guys actually get puppies just so the women pay attention to them?

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried6:33

       Oh-

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:33

       A lot.

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried6:34

       I, I'm, yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan6:35

       For sure.

   29. GGGilbert Gottfried6:35

       Yeah, I'm sure, and then when they don't wind up getting laid, they kill the puppy or some shit.

   30. JRJoe Rogan6:40

       Or they bring it to the pound.
4. 6:50 – 12:22

   Pandemic reality check: vaccines, COVID, and returning to the stage rusty

   1. JRJoe Rogan6:50

      Sad times. So, uh, how has the pandemic treated you? How, how've you, uh, handled it? Did you get COVID?

   2. GGGilbert Gottfried6:58

      Uh, no, no.

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:59

      You get, did you get vaccinated?

   4. GGGilbert Gottfried7:00

      No, knock wood. Uh, yeah, I got the two regular shots and I even got the booster.

   5. JRJoe Rogan7:08

      And everything's fine? You good to go?

   6. GGGilbert Gottfried7:09

      Yeah, yeah. They, uh, knock wood, uh, 5,000 times.

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:13

      Yeah, knocking some wood for you.

   8. GGGilbert Gottfried7:14

      Now, now did you get it?

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:16

      I got COVID.

   10. GGGilbert Gottfried7:17

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan7:17

       Yeah, yeah.

   12. GGGilbert Gottfried7:18

       And, and how was that?

   13. JRJoe Rogan7:19

       Not bad.

   14. GGGilbert Gottfried7:19

       (laughs) So do you recommend it?

   15. JRJoe Rogan7:23

       No, I don't recommend it.

   16. GGGilbert Gottfried7:25

       No. (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan7:25

       No, it's, uh, it's definitely dangerous.

   18. GGGilbert Gottfried7:26

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan7:26

       It's, uh, I recommend you being as healthy as possible, but, uh, when I got it, I got good treatment and I was better in a couple of days.

   20. GGGilbert Gottfried7:34

       Oh good.

   21. JRJoe Rogan7:34

       Yeah. Yeah.

   22. GGGilbert Gottfried7:35

       Yeah, 'cause, uh, I, I just remember when the, when it was going full force.

   23. JRJoe Rogan7:42

       Mm-hmm.

   24. GGGilbert Gottfried7:43

       And, uh, you couldn't watch a TV show. Everything was reports on it-

   25. JRJoe Rogan7:48

       Yeah.

   26. GGGilbert Gottfried7:48

       ... and it would be like, "Oh, it's doing better this week. It's only 500,000 dead." (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan7:55

       (laughs)

   28. GGGilbert Gottfried7:56

       And so that, that was scary.

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:00

       Well, it was, uh, it was real scary in New York City, right? Like New York City's-

   30. GGGilbert Gottfried8:04

       Uh, yeah.
5. 12:22 – 15:50

   Why jokes die: killer bits that suddenly stop working

   1. GGGilbert Gottfried12:22

      Yeah. I mean... And, and it's like, okay, here's something that I find really odd in doing comedy is there are some bits that you do that are your killer bits, those are the ones you could be bombing the whole night, pull that one out, and the crowd is, goes nuts and the room is shaking. And do you ever have a bit that just goes away?

   2. JRJoe Rogan12:52

      Yeah.

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried12:53

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan12:53

      Yeah.

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried12:54

      With no warning.

   6. JRJoe Rogan12:56

      (laughs)

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried12:57

      I'll have, I'll have these bits where I'm like, "Uh-oh, here's, here I better hold onto something-"

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:03

      (laughs)

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried13:04

      "... 'cause the, 'cause the room, you know, the walls will crash down. The, it's gonna be so much reaction." And then I do it and nothing.

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:14

       Yep.

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried13:14

       And then I do it a bunch of more times and still nothing. It just, like, the bit gets up and walks away from me.

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:20

       It go away.

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried13:21

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:21

       And it's, it's weird, it's like I, I never know if it's my engagement with it, like maybe I'm not so enthusiastic about it anymore and the audience can tell. Maybe, uh, the time for the bit is just gone, like maybe it's only time relevant, you know, it's only relevant to, like, three months ago and now no one gives a shit about the topic anymore.

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried13:41

       Yeah, uh, 'cause I'll, I'll have it where, y- uh, same thing, like, I'll go, uh, "Oh, you know, maybe I'll, I'll just give it a, you know, louder, heavier hit for the punchline or the middle section."

   16. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       Yeah.

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried13:57

       Or faster or slower and it's like, no, they just go away.

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:02

       They go away. Sometimes bits do, sometimes bits go away. It's, it's interesting. It's like sometimes you'll have a bit in one show and it'll crush, and then the next show you say it the exact same way and it won't work.

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried14:15

       Yes. Yeah. It's, um, okay, old joke. Uh, a comedian's in his hotel room and there's a knock on the door, he opens the door, a gorgeous girl is standing there in the sexiest outfit, she's got an incredible body and she says, "I, I saw you, I was in the audience tonight and I watched you and you were so funny and so exciting that I got so turned on, I wanna come in there and fuck you and suck your dick like it's never been sucked before." And the comic says, "Let me ask you something, was this the first show or the second?" (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:09

       (laughs) Exactly. You have one flubbed line, it'll haunt you for the rest of the night, like, "Oh."

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried15:17

       Yeah. And it, and it is like the difference between first and second, it's like you don't know. One, it could be tremendous, and, uh, the other one, it'll be like, uh, "You know, I, I, I fooled them long enough-"

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       (coughs) Yeah.

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried15:35

       "... and I shouldn't be in this business."

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:36

       Are you, uh, working the road now? Are you doing the road these days?

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried15:40

       More and more.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:41

       Yeah?

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried15:42

       Yeah. Yeah. I'm going back to does, yeah, flying and whatever.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:48

       You moved out of the city?

6. 15:50 – 18:31

   Florida move and voice-acting censorship: Aladdin lyric changes and complaints

   1. GGGilbert Gottfried15:50

      Uh, yeah, I'm in Florida now, let's-

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:52

      What is that like? You're a, like, lifetime New Yorker, right?

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried15:54

      Yeah, well, yeah. So then now I'm going where Jews go to die. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan16:01

      (laughs) What part of Florida are you in?

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried16:03

      Uh, in Boca Raton.

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:04

      Oh.

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried16:05

      Re- real, uh-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:06

      Real Florida?

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried16:07

      Yeah, real heaven's waiting for me. (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:10

       (laughs) What is it like down there?

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried16:12

       I, the heat is intolerable and, uh, oh, there in, in, uh, in Aladdin, there was a line in the original song when they sing Arabian Nights, uh, where, where, uh, where he sings where they cut off, uh, where they cut off your nose if they don't like your face, it's barbaric, but hey, it's home. That was the line in, the original line in it. And they had to change that and they changed it to where the land is, uh, immense and the heat is intense. It's barbaric-

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:57

       Really?

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried16:57

       ... but it, yeah, yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:59

       So the original Aladdin, was it a musical? Or...

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried17:02

       Uh, yeah, yeah, well, yeah-

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:03

       What was it? The movie?

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried17:04

       No, the one that I did, I was in, yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:06

       Oh, okay.

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried17:06

       It was, yeah, but it had songs in it.

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:08

       So, and, but the song, was it an old song?

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried17:11

       Uh, no, they had written it-

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:13

       Oh.

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried17:13

       ... but it was a funny line, but-

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:15

       And they had to cut it out?

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried17:15

       Yeah, yeah. And, uh, I, oh, I remember th- they had the Aladdin TV show for a while and, uh, there was one part where we're being chased by a tiger and, uh, and I, my character goes, uh, "He's gonna, he's gonna eat us like kiddie chow." And some woman somewhere in Ohio or Cincin- uh, whatever, uh, she complained and she said she, she was horrified that she was watching it with her children and I said, "That tiger's gonna eat us like tiddie chow." She actually heard it as tiddie chow-

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:04

       And she complained?

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried18:05

       Yeah. Sh-

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:05

       And it got all the way to you?

   29. GGGilbert Gottfried18:07

       Uh, uh, yeah, and, uh-

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:08

       Why didn't someone tell her, "Hey, it's, it's kiddie chow.
7. 18:31 – 23:10

   Nostalgia cycles: All in the Family lyrics, Sammy Davis Jr. recordings, and every era complaining

   1. GGGilbert Gottfried18:31

      It's kind of like, oh...... the, uh, in, in, uh, the opening of All in the Family, there was that one line that nobody knew. And, uh, and that, that line was, um, "G-R, G-R-Old LaSalle ran great." Because-

   2. JRJoe Rogan18:56

      Yeah.

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried18:56

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan18:57

      What is that?

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried18:58

      Yeah. And it was on a o- Old Car LaSalle. And, uh-

   6. JRJoe Rogan19:02

      Oh, "Our old LaSalle ran great."

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried19:05

      "Our old LaSalle ran great."

   8. JRJoe Rogan19:07

      Oh.

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried19:07

      And so when, when you heard that, you always just heard-

   10. JRJoe Rogan19:11

       Those were the days.

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried19:11

       ... "G-R-Old, yeah, ran..." And so they, they re-recorded it in the next season to, "G-R-Old LaSalle Ran Great."

   12. JRJoe Rogan19:25

       Look at this fucking... These lyrics. "Guys like me, we had it made. Those were the days. Didn't need no welfare state. Everybody pulled his weight."

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried19:34

       Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know the whole song.

   14. JRJoe Rogan19:35

       Look at these little lines, though. "Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again. People seemed to be content, $50 paid the rent. Freaks were in the circus tent, those were the days." (laughs)

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried19:47

       Oh, see, but, you know, the freaks were in the circus tent, they didn't sing in the TV show.

   16. JRJoe Rogan19:53

       Hmm.

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried19:53

       But there is a recording of Sammy Davis Jr singing the opening (laughs) of, uh, of, uh, All in the Family.

   18. JRJoe Rogan20:04

       Really? Like, uh-

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried20:04

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan20:05

       Was he an option at one point in time? Like he was gonna be the singer?

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried20:07

       Uh, I... Well, it, it's like... I don't know. They just... I guess they wanted to maybe release it and, uh, but they didn't. But there is a recording of him singing that.

   22. JRJoe Rogan20:21

       Wow.

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried20:21

       Where it's like, "Freaks were in a circus tent."

   24. JRJoe Rogan20:25

       Oh, yeah. Look at this right there.

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried20:26

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan20:27

       Look at him with a big stogey. (mellow music) Where's the lyrics?

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried20:38

       Yeah.

   28. NANarrator20:38

       You take a Sunday spin. Go and watch the Dodgers win. Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin. Hair were short and skirts were long. Kate Smith really grooved a song. I don't know where we went wrong. Those were the days. Those were the days. Yeah. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan21:08

       (laughs)

   30. GGGilbert Gottfried21:08

       (laughs)
8. 23:10 – 27:17

   Aging, dementia, and ‘tragic’ deaths: from Peter Falk to Belushi/Farley

   1. GGGilbert Gottfried23:10

      He, he was on like, oh, I think the Grammy show, and he started to make a speech and then they cut to a commercial, and everybody was outraged about this. And, um, uh, you know, Billy Joel mentioned it and everybody. And then they said that, uh, Frank, uh, during the speech, started to ramble.

   2. JRJoe Rogan23:34

      Oh.

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried23:34

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan23:35

      He was getting older.

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried23:36

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan23:36

      Yeah. He was Joe Bidening it.

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried23:38

      Yeah. (laughs) That's, uh, that's the medical-

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:44

      It's a verb.

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried23:44

      ... thing. (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:45

       Yeah, Joe Bidening is a verb. That poor guy. I feel... I mean, I didn't vote for him, but I feel bad for him. It's like watching this happen, it's just, it's so sad, you know.

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried23:55

       And, oh, uh, another thing. On, on my podcast, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

   12. JRJoe Rogan24:02

       Available everywhere.

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried24:03

       Yes. Yeah. (laughs) And, uh, we had on some, like, expert on Columbo and, uh, and that brought back... Remember that footage of Peter Falk? Uh, there was this footage, like somebody on people's phones, he was like, you know, roaming through the street.

   14. JRJoe Rogan24:25

       Oh.

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried24:25

       His clothes look more ragged than Columbo's and his...... pot belly was hanging out of his shirt and he, he, he looked like a mess. And, and he, he died of Alzheimer's.

   16. JRJoe Rogan24:40

       I didn't see that, but-

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried24:41

       Yeah, horrible.

   18. JRJoe Rogan24:42

       It's horrible. Dementia and Alzheimer's and just, just watching someone deteriorate like that. That's why it's, the Joe Biden thing is so sad, because it's like happening in real time and everyone's trying to pretend like it's not happening, because he's the president and no one is stepping in. Like if it was your grandfather, you'd be like, "Oh, geez, we gotta do something."

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried25:00

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan25:00

       But instead it's the president, so like you watch, he's f- he fell asleep at a conference the other day. Like, like on TV you see him like closing his eyes and he's got his arms crossed and he just falls asleep. It's like, come on, the poor guy.

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried25:13

       It, it's like, I always think when people say like, "Oh, you know, Belushi and Chris Farley, that's so tragic." And I'm thinking, "They died stoned out of their mind in a, in a great state, you know, just floating, just total ecstasy."

   22. JRJoe Rogan25:35

       (laughs)

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried25:35

       And, and a hooker is blowing them while they're in this, uh, stoned state, and that's how they died. And I'm thinking, "Okay, what about these people, Alzheimer's, MS, uh, Parkinson's, all these horrible things where after a while people are just wired up to machines?"

   24. JRJoe Rogan25:57

       Yeah. Everybody goes, but just how do you go? If you, do you want to like drag it out where your body's, like, literally deteriorating before your eyes?

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried26:06

       Yes.

   26. JRJoe Rogan26:07

       That's what you're seeing a lot of in Boca Raton.

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried26:09

       Oh, yeah. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan26:10

       Right? In your new neighborhood?

   29. GGGilbert Gottfried26:12

       I, and I... The one I felt bad for the most was, um, uh, Annette Funicello.

   30. JRJoe Rogan26:22

       Oh, I didn't see that.
9. 27:17 – 33:03

   Classic monsters and practical effects: Universal horror to Rick Baker worship

   1. GGGilbert Gottfried27:17

      Okay. Boris Karloff was Frankenstein and the Mummy.

   2. JRJoe Rogan27:21

      Oh.

   3. GGGilbert Gottfried27:22

      Uh, Bela Lugosi was Dracula, but he also played Frankenstein in one movie.

   4. JRJoe Rogan27:27

      He did?

   5. GGGilbert Gottfried27:28

      In Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man.

   6. JRJoe Rogan27:31

      Ah. (laughs)

   7. GGGilbert Gottfried27:32

      And, uh, Lon Chaney Jr. played all the monsters.

   8. JRJoe Rogan27:37

      Did he?

   9. GGGilbert Gottfried27:37

      He was most famous-

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:38

       He was the Wolf Man.

   11. GGGilbert Gottfried27:38

       ... for the Wolf Man.

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:40

       Who else did he play?

   13. GGGilbert Gottfried27:40

       But he was also Frankenstein in Ghost of Frankenstein.

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:45

       (laughs)

   15. GGGilbert Gottfried27:46

       And, uh, he, he was, uh, the Mummy in about three of those low-budget Mummy pictures.

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:54

       Oh, there you go.

   17. GGGilbert Gottfried27:55

       Oh, there he is as Dracula in Son of Dracula.

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:59

       When you watch that old Wolf Man, it is so corny. Oh, he's Dr. Jekyll as well?

   19. GGGilbert Gottfried28:03

       Uh, no. Oh, that's his father right there.

   20. JRJoe Rogan28:07

       Oh, Lon Chaney Sr.

   21. GGGilbert Gottfried28:08

       Yes.

   22. JRJoe Rogan28:09

       Yeah, the original. Yeah. I, I wanted to be a makeup artist when I was a kid. That's what I wanted to do.

   23. GGGilbert Gottfried28:16

       Oh, yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan28:16

       I wanted to do, uh, makeup for horror movies.

   25. GGGilbert Gottfried28:19

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan28:19

       Like, uh, you know, these, these guys like Lon Chaney Jr.

   27. GGGilbert Gottfried28:22

       Yeah. Uh, on, also on the podcast we interviewed Rick Baker.

   28. JRJoe Rogan28:27

       Yeah, Rick Baker's done the podcast.

   29. GGGilbert Gottfried28:28

       Oh.

   30. JRJoe Rogan28:28

       He's amazing.
10. 33:03 – 49:33

    War horrors shaping monster obsessions + the WWI ‘wolves ceasefire’ story

    1. JRJoe Rogan33:03

       Just... I wonder, like, what would the obsession with monsters was back then, because that was a g- good percentage of the films that were made were monster m- Maybe it was just that they were successful.

    2. GGGilbert Gottfried33:13

       That, that was, uh, also someone we interviewed on the podcast. I think it's David Skol, uh, the name, and whose theory was that, uh, like, from World War I, each war, like, medic-, you know, medical treatments would be more improved. So, people who normally would've died, uh, were now alive-

    3. JRJoe Rogan33:43

       Ah.

    4. GGGilbert Gottfried33:43

       ... with missing arms and legs and their faces.

    5. JRJoe Rogan33:46

       Faces shot off. Yeah.

    6. GGGilbert Gottfried33:47

       And, and, uh, he... His feeling is, that's what made people so in-... uh, fascinated with monsters, 'cause these were, like, real live monsters around them.

    7. JRJoe Rogan34:00

       Yeah, there's a bunch of photos online of, uh, people who survived in World War II, and they'd survive gunshot wounds to the face-

    8. GGGilbert Gottfried34:08

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan34:08

       ... and things along those lines. And there, there's horrific photos.

    10. GGGilbert Gottfried34:11

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan34:12

        That makes sense.

    12. GGGilbert Gottfried34:14

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan34:14

        'Cause so many people coming back from the war that did live.

    14. GGGilbert Gottfried34:18

        Ye-

    15. JRJoe Rogan34:18

        That makes sense.

    16. GGGilbert Gottfried34:19

        Yeah. It was, uh, like, much, uh, nicer and prettier if the soldiers would just die. But once they live and you see what actually happens to them...

    17. JRJoe Rogan34:33

        The worst story I heard about the war was from World War I, where the Russians and the Germans had to have a ceasefire-

    18. GGGilbert Gottfried34:39

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan34:39

        ... because so many of them were getting killed by wolves, that they actually joined together to kill the wolves in Russia.

    20. GGGilbert Gottfried34:45

        Jesus.

    21. JRJoe Rogan34:46

        Yeah. There were, there was hundreds of wolves. Because what had happened is they were doing trench warfare, right? And so, a guy would get shot and he'd be in agony in the trenches, and the wolves would smell the blood-

    22. GGGilbert Gottfried34:58

        Oh.

    23. JRJoe Rogan34:58

        ... and the wolves would go into the trenches and eat the men alive and kill them. And so, there would... Guys would go on patrol and they would, like, find a boot with a foot still in it, and that was all that was left of them. And so they realized these large packs of vicious wolves in Russia were just picking off soldiers from the outside. So anytime someone strayed away from the camps or strayed away from, you know, wherever they were stationed, the wolves would get them. And so, they literally got together and had a ceasefire and said, "Let's stop killing each other. Let's kill these fucking wolves, and then we'll go back to killing each other."

    24. GGGilbert Gottfried35:31

        See, yes. The... It's the insanity of that.

    25. JRJoe Rogan35:34

        So crazy.

    26. GGGilbert Gottfried35:35

        We gotta make it safe for us to kill each other again. (laughs)

    27. JRJoe Rogan35:40

        (laughs) It's kind of amazing that that's a historical fact. Like, it's-

    28. GGGilbert Gottfried35:43

        And-

    29. JRJoe Rogan35:43

        ... it's a really wild story.

    30. GGGilbert Gottfried35:45

        Also, uh, could... You reminded me, because we interviewed, um, Sandler from s- Do you remember Sandler & Young?
11. 49:33 – 57:33

    Road life and comedy logistics: Cameo, Skankfest, travel fog, and show exhaustion

    1. JRJoe Rogan49:33

       ... do you have a home club in Boca?

    2. GGGilbert Gottfried49:35

       Uh, there's some nearby clubs. One I worked recently, and, uh... Oh, God. Yeah. There's... But now, I mean, like, tomorrow, I, I go to Houston to do a club.

    3. JRJoe Rogan49:51

       What club are you doing in Houston?

    4. GGGilbert Gottfried49:52

       God, I don't know. Somebody find... Find out. What the fuck? You shouldn't laugh-

    5. JRJoe Rogan49:57

       (laughs)

    6. GGGilbert Gottfried49:57

       ... like that. Find out where I am, what I've got to plug-

    7. JRJoe Rogan50:02

       (laughs)

    8. GGGilbert Gottfried50:02

       ... and don't fucking shit-

    9. JRJoe Rogan50:05

       Are you sh- are you doing the improv?

    10. GGGilbert Gottfried50:06

        Uh...

    11. JRJoe Rogan50:07

        Improv's great in Houston.

    12. GGGilbert Gottfried50:08

        Oh, I don't know if I'd- I've never done-

    13. JRJoe Rogan50:10

        That's a great club.

    14. GGGilbert Gottfried50:10

        ... that one. But-

    15. JRJoe Rogan50:10

        That's a good one.

    16. GGGilbert Gottfried50:11

        Uh, oh. But one thing I have to plug, of course, I'm on cameo.com/gilbertgottfried for personalized video shout-outs, and, uh, for 25% off use promo code JoeRogan.

    17. JRJoe Rogan50:33

        And these cameos, you're doing these a lot, right?

    18. GGGilbert Gottfried50:35

        Yes.

    19. JRJoe Rogan50:36

        And d' you enjoy doing that? Is it fun?

    20. GGGilbert Gottfried50:38

        I, I, well, that, that was like what I was doing all through, uh, the pandemic.

    21. JRJoe Rogan50:44

        Yeah?

    22. GGGilbert Gottfried50:44

        Yeah. 'Cause there were-... Clubs were closed and TV was closed and so I would do those. Yeah. Those-

    23. JRJoe Rogan50:51

        And you could make good money doing those?

    24. GGGilbert Gottfried50:53

        Uh, yeah. It depends on... Sometimes you have busy days, sometimes less. Uh, but it's one of those where you could... There, there were times I, I just, like, had a shirt on and no pants. (laughs)

    25. JRJoe Rogan51:07

        (laughs)

    26. GGGilbert Gottfried51:07

        I just put it up (laughs) , uh, and yeah, so, uh, cameo.com/gilbertgottfried.

    27. JRJoe Rogan51:15

        Uh, oh, you're doing Skankfest.

    28. GGGilbert Gottfried51:18

        I am? (laughs)

    29. JRJoe Rogan51:21

        (laughs)

    30. GGGilbert Gottfried51:21

        Yes, Skankfest.
12. 57:33 – 1:25:40

    Comedy origins and the old club ecosystem: starting at 15, singers in clubs, and NYC rooms dying

    1. JRJoe Rogan57:33

       Yeah, exactly. How, what year did you start?

    2. GGGilbert Gottfried57:37

       Oh, God. Uh, pff, I think it was the end of the '60s.

    3. JRJoe Rogan57:43

       No shit?

    4. GGGilbert Gottfried57:44

       Yeah. I was, I was 15 first time I got up on a stage.

    5. JRJoe Rogan57:48

       Wow.

    6. GGGilbert Gottfried57:49

       And I should know, but I don't, like an idiot. I should know the first club I worked at. I don't remember the first club I worked at.

    7. JRJoe Rogan57:58

       Really?

    8. GGGilbert Gottfried57:59

       You'd think it would be an important event enough to remember, but I don't remember.

    9. JRJoe Rogan58:04

       Well, what were the regular clubs that you worked at back then?

    10. GGGilbert Gottfried58:06

        Well, uh, first time, it was, uh, uh, you know, it was some club you went in and signed your name in the book, and then-

    11. JRJoe Rogan58:16

        Mm-hmm.

    12. GGGilbert Gottfried58:16

        ... yeah. Uh, but, uh, you know, of the clubs I've worked over the years, you know, there were the known ones, you know, Catch a Rising Star, The-

    13. JRJoe Rogan58:26

        Yeah.

    14. GGGilbert Gottfried58:26

        ... Improv, uh, Comic Strip, uh, uh, Bitter End. And then there'd be like a million of these clubs that would open for, like, two weeks, and you'd, you'd be, like, looking out for any place you could work for no money. (laughs)

    15. JRJoe Rogan58:44

        Were there, in the late '60s, were there actual comedy clubs? Or were they-

    16. GGGilbert Gottfried58:48

        I, I think that-

    17. JRJoe Rogan58:48

        ... like variety clubs?

    18. GGGilbert Gottfried58:50

        ... I think that came later or something. I remember, also I remember, uh, in comedy clubs, used to have singers also.

    19. JRJoe Rogan59:01

        Hmm.

    20. GGGilbert Gottfried59:02

        And, like, well, you know, uh, Pat Benatar and, uh, Patty Smyth both came out of comedy clubs.

    21. JRJoe Rogan59:11

        Really?

    22. GGGilbert Gottfried59:11

        Yeah, they both used to pop up at Catch. And, uh, I, I remember, I would, you know, it was not uncommon, you'd walk into a comedy club and you'd hear, you know, "Everything has its season. Everything has its time." (laughs)

    23. JRJoe Rogan59:30

        (laughs) And this is in the '70s?

    24. GGGilbert Gottfried59:32

        Uh, yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan59:33

        Yeah.

    26. GGGilbert Gottfried59:33

        '70s, '80s, uh, yeah. Well, '80s, I think it started to make it more just... No, they still sta- had some singers there.

    27. JRJoe Rogan59:43

        So, the, what was, like, the first club, the first actual stand-up club in the city? Was it The Improv? Was it Catch?

    28. GGGilbert Gottfried59:51

        That, I think, I think The Improv would be the oldest of those, but, I mean, before then, the-

    29. JRJoe Rogan59:58

        So, that was the early '70s?

    30. GGGilbert Gottfried1:00:00

        Yeah, I would think so. Maybe, maybe it was, could've been even in the '60s. I don't know when Improv started.
13. 1:25:40 – 1:36:43

    Fame, mortality, and legends: Carlin encounters, Pryor’s decline, and career-making compliments

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:25:40

       That's just... I w- I went on after Richard Pryor. I followed Richard-

    2. GGGilbert Gottfried1:25:44

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:25:44

       ...Pryor for, like, five or six weeks at-

    4. GGGilbert Gottfried1:25:47

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:25:47

       ...The Comedy Store when he was in a wheelchair.

    6. GGGilbert Gottfried1:25:49

       Oh.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:25:50

       And so they would carry him-

    8. GGGilbert Gottfried1:25:52

       Ooh.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:25:53

       ...to the stage-

    10. GGGilbert Gottfried1:25:54

        Ah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:25:55

        ...and, uh, set him down, and they would crank the mic way up, like, "Ch, ch, ch, ch."

    12. GGGilbert Gottfried1:25:59

        Yes. Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:26:01

        Like, you would hear the mic was cranked as loud as it could, and he was a shell of himself.

    14. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:06

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:26:07

        He was dying-

    16. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:08

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:26:08

        ...and he was on all kinds of medication, and he was drinking.

    18. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:11

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:26:11

        And he would go on stage, and he... uh, the audience would be so sad.

    20. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:16

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:26:16

        And then I would have to go on after him, and it would take five minutes-

    22. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:21

        Oh, yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:26:21

        ...to get him from the stage to the back of the room.

    24. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:24

        Oh.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:26:24

        And so while that was happening, I would be on stage.

    26. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:27

        Yeah, so everything you're doing for that... at least the first, uh-

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:26:32

        Yeah.

    28. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:32

        ...three-quarters of your act.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:26:33

        The first couple minutes are rough, and, you know, I would just try to l- lighten up the mood a little bit because you could see it in people's faces. They were-

    30. GGGilbert Gottfried1:26:42

        Yeah.

Episode duration: 3:02:47