Skip to content
The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1734 - Ron White

Ron White is a standup comedian, actor, and author. Catch him live on tour this year.

Joe RoganhostRon WhiteguestGuestguest
Jun 27, 20242h 59mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 3:50

    Cigar lighting, tiny cigars, and unexpected nicotine hits

    1. NA

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

    2. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) The sound you hear is Ron White torching the end of his cigar, preparing. (lighter clicks) He's a professional. You notice how he did that, Jamie? Starts off torching it.

    3. RW

      Yeah, you gotta toast it.

    4. JR

      Is that what you do?

    5. RW

      Yeah, because if you don't, if you, if you just suck the flame into it, you'll burn it. You'll burn the inside of it instead of just toasting the outside of it, get most of that surface hot, and then just a little quick one to get it really going nice. Uh, and the whole cigar will taste better.

    6. JR

      Really?

    7. RW

      Yeah.

    8. JR

      Well, I fucked it up already.

    9. RW

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      I've fucked up every sp- cigar I've ever smoked.

    11. RW

      (laughs) Cigar smoking lessons by Ron White.

    12. JR

      So ma- this would be better than it is right now? Is that right?

    13. RW

      Uh, yeah. I mean, that's how people light cigars. That's why they have a torch lighter so you don't have to suck the flame into it. Eh...

    14. JR

      I thought the torch lighter was so that, uh, you don't have that stinky smell that you get from a regular lighter.

    15. RW

      Uh, well, it's the same butane.

    16. JR

      Yeah, but it's like, uh, you know how ... Well, I think I'm thinking about pipes, like p- weed pipes. When people smoke weed out of pipes with the c- the, the lighter-

    17. RW

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      ... you always smell the, the lighter fluid.

    19. RW

      A little bit of butane?

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. RW

      No, that's not what it's for. (laughs) It's just so you don't, uh, you don't suck that flame into it and burn more of the surface on the inside and they just taste better.

    22. JR

      Ah, and you're a professional.

    23. RW

      I been smoking cigars for, uh, years. So, uh-

    24. JR

      How many? How many years?

    25. RW

      Uh, you know, I, I started smoking cigars when I quit smoking cigarettes, so maybe 20 years ago.

    26. JR

      You quit smoking cigarettes, but those little cigars you smoke, I think they're kinda cigarettes.

    27. RW

      They're jacked with nicotine.

    28. JR

      (laughs)

    29. RW

      And I didn't know that because these aren't. There's more cic- nicotine in one of these little things than there is in this whole thing.

    30. JR

      But ... Really?

  2. 3:50 – 5:42

    Hunting obsession, arrowheads, and Ron’s rough childhood memories

    1. RW

      (laughs) You, uh, you hunt elk, right?

    2. JR

      Yeah, but that's not addictive.

    3. RW

      It's not?

    4. JR

      I only do it once a year.

    5. RW

      Oh, okay.

    6. JR

      How could it be addictive? Uh, one month out of the year. I go twice a year.

    7. RW

      I know people that are completely addicted, dude.

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. RW

      Foxworthy.

    10. JR

      Oh, yeah. Well, he-

    11. RW

      Natural born killer.

    12. JR

      It is a wild experience. It taps into some weird DNA, some, uh, leftover shit from the time when, you know, you'd make your own arrows. Look at this. Somebody gave me this. That's a real legit Native American arrowhead.

    13. RW

      Wow, it's beautiful.

    14. JR

      Isn't it wild? Somebody made that probably hundreds of years ago-

    15. RW

      Yeah, right.

    16. JR

      ... so they can get meat. To feed their family.

    17. RW

      Ah, you know, Foxworthy spends a lot of his time looking for these things. He goes on cave digs and all over the place. He's got a gigantic, uh, collection.

    18. JR

      Oh, does he really?

    19. RW

      And then he's also, you know, a big, uh, bow hunter too.

    20. JR

      I know he is. I gotta meet him, man. I've never met him.

    21. RW

      Really well-respected in the hunting community-

    22. JR

      Yeah, he is.

    23. RW

      ... 'cause he ... Every year, he only takes out, like, one deer if he even takes out one.

    24. JR

      Oh, really?

    25. RW

      He's looking for that certain one.

    26. JR

      Oh, okay.

    27. RW

      And, uh, but he loves the whole experience of, of men together in the woods and-

    28. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    29. RW

      ... freezing to death and eating-

    30. JR

      (laughs)

  3. 5:42 – 7:38

    Ron’s father: athleticism, early death, and hospital trauma

    1. RW

      And, uh, so I never thought it was that great. And I really didn't enjoy any of the experiences that I had with him. He was also a golfer, but I rarely played with him because he was just kinda mean about it, you know.

    2. JR

      Oh.

    3. RW

      And, uh, and he's also a natural athlete. Lettered in every sport and, uh, had a football scholarship to A&M to play right guard at 195 pounds and, and, uh, which is how big they were back then. And, uh-

    4. JR

      Isn't that wild?

    5. RW

      And I always remembered as a kid, looking at my dad's arms and going, "Why are they three times the size of everybody else's dads' arms?" I mean, he was just a beast of a guy.

    6. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    7. RW

      And, um, uh, and he, he died young from it, I guess. I don't know.

    8. JR

      Did he?

    9. RW

      He died-

    10. JR

      When did ... How old was he when he died?

    11. RW

      51.

    12. JR

      Holy shit.

    13. RW

      Yeah. And I-

    14. JR

      What'd he die from?

    15. RW

      ... uh, it combination played. He had, like, open heart surgery when he was 36, and that was back-

    16. JR

      Holy shit.

    17. RW

      That was back when you had to have, uh, you're in the intensive care for, like, a, two months or something-

    18. JR

      Oh.

    19. RW

      ... and, uh, saw to the breast bone and-

    20. JR

      Oh.

    21. RW

      ... and, uh-

    22. JR

      Oh.

    23. RW

      So as a kid, I used to have to go up there all... You know, he was in the hospital for so long, and I would go spend my days up there, you know, just while mother was, you know, sitting there waiting to see what was gonna happen and-

    24. JR

      (inhales deeply)

    25. RW

      ... as a result, you know, I don't really like (laughs) , uh, going to the hospital to visit anybody, so-

    26. JR

      Yeah, I-

    27. RW

      I don't know if anybody does, but I do it though. You know, my- Joey Walden, my dear friend that lived here, died of cancer, I sat with him, took him to chemo and- and, uh-

    28. JR

      (exhales deeply)

    29. RW

      ... stuff. But, uh, yeah, so dad just got a bad, uh, deck of cards, man. He had cancer too and, uh-

    30. JR

      God damn.

  4. 7:38 – 15:54

    Quitting alcohol: COVID spiral, rehab history, hypnosis, and ayahuasca as a catalyst

    1. RW

      It was, uh, you know, I don't know what it is. Uh, the, uh, like I quit drinking. I, you know, I don't talk about it-

    2. JR

      I think that's it.

    3. RW

      ... that much. Uh, I still have a fake drink on stage. And I don't know who I'm trying to kid, because sometimes I say I did (laughs) and then sometimes I act like I didn't and-

    4. JR

      Do you feel like you have to?

    5. RW

      ... I can't even decide. Huh? D- y- I don't know, Joe, I just can't make up my mind. It, you know, I- my fans, the dudes that are fans of mine, I'm like their fantasy drinking partner. You know, they wanna do- they wanna have a drink with me.

    6. JR

      Right.

    7. RW

      And, uh, every time I see somebody, "Let's do a shot right now!" You know, and- and, uh, so- I- I- you know, I don't know. I just d- I don't even care. It- the not drinking doesn't bother me a bit, except when I'm up at the club and you guys are, you know, having a cocktail before. I miss that, but I do not miss being trashed, and I got trashed every night-

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. RW

      ... uh, way too early. And, uh, and then when COVID hit, that, uh, tequila bottle went from, uh, from the- from the- the- the cab- cabinet that I kept it in to the kitchen table, then it eased to the end of the kitchen table, then it hopped over to the- to the, uh, coffee table that I was sitting in front of (laughs) and I'd start drinking at 3:00 and drunk by 5:00 and, you know, it's just, uh, I- I was just caught in a fucking whirlwind of I couldn't... And I also didn't think I could quit, uh, because I tried to quit 12 years ago and I went into a rehab for a month for $70,000 in Malibu and- and I got the sweats and the shakes and they were giving me medication and- and, uh, and so I was waiting for that to happen this time and it didn't ever happen, so I just-

    10. JR

      That's wild.

    11. RW

      ... I just quit and didn't do it anymore. You know, I, I went to a hypnotist and, uh, and then I went down to Costa Rica and, uh, did a bunch of ayahuasca with some shamans and-

    12. JR

      Ah, that's it. That did it, huh?

    13. RW

      And, uh, one of those two things or maybe the combination of the two of them.

    14. JR

      Yeah, you wanted to wait until you talked to me on the podcast to tell me about your ayahuasca experience. Do you remember saying that to me?

    15. RW

      No.

    16. JR

      (laughs)

    17. RW

      I don't. But-

    18. JR

      You're like, "I'm gonna wait. I'll wait till I get on your show, because it's a fucking wild story."

    19. RW

      Well, yeah, but now it's been too long, I don't even remember it.

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. RW

      Uh, you shoulda got right on it, Joe.

    22. JR

      I shoulda got right on it. But you've been touring, man. I'll tell you what, man, your- your standup is sharp as a fucking scalpel. You haven't missed a beat and not drinking, it seems to have made you even better.

    23. RW

      I, you know, I've- I've- I've got a really... I never really w- went on stage drunk. Well, that's a lie. Wait a minute-

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. RW

      ... let- let me start over, let me start over, let me rephrase that.

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. RW

      My goal was to have my first drink of the day was the drink I took on stage.

    28. JR

      Right.

    29. RW

      That was my goal. It didn't always work. But I didn't show up drunk and, um-

    30. JR

      Right.

  5. 15:54 – 25:41

    Ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica: the setup, the purge, and learning to surrender

    1. RW

      I agree. Well, do you want me to tell you about the ayahuasca experience?

    2. JR

      Oh, yeah. Sure.

    3. RW

      (laughs)

    4. JR

      Do you remem- How much do you remember?

    5. RW

      Well, you know, I, I remember, uh, how I found out about it, which is weird 'cause it was a friend of mine's wife. And, but I had heard that ayahuasca word before, and I'd, I, so I knew a very, very little bit about it. So, and then I started kinda researching it. What is it? Where does it come from? It's a strong hallucinogen, you know, which I've always had a tendency to like anyway, so I thought it sounded like it was right up my alley. But for a long time you had to get on a canoe, you know?

    6. JR

      Yeah.

    7. RW

      And go down and find a corrugated tin shack and sleep on a dead floor and, and, uh, and so it wasn't very appealing to a lot of people. So, the guy that opened the place, uh, he had money and he just had... He bought part of a, like a JW Marriott Beach Resort. Well, he bought their overflow area, which was not on the beach but in the jungle with a big fence. Fucking howler monkeys, the most useless animal in the world.

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. RW

      They scream at the top of their lungs. Other monkeys must just hate them.

    10. JR

      (laughs)

    11. RW

      You know, can you tone it down a little bit? (screeching) Howl, howl, howl. So, I thought, well, I'm signing up for that. And, uh, I'll use that to get off liquor because a lot of people do come away from there with a different perspective, right? Which I did. And, uh, but then they s- I t- was honest with them about how much I drank and they go, "Oh, no, you can't come here. Uh, you, we don't want you coming here and getting into DTs. That's not what... We're not a detox facility. We're not set up for it. So you have to have 14 days of sobriety before you come here." And I'm like, "Fuck." Right? I don't know if I could do that or not 'cause I was drinking so much.

    12. JR

      Wow.

    13. RW

      And, uh, and then I knew about this guy that was a hypnotist in, uh, uh, Marina del Rey, I think, is kind of where, uh, that's not it. It's, uh, whatever, one of the coastal towns down there. And my assistant, Anthony, had, uh, uh, worked for a guy that had a lot of, uh, problems and went to this guy and, and quit all of them. And, uh, so I'm like, "Well, I could go over there and see how that works." So I went over there.And, uh, it was -- his, his office was in his garage. He was the least impressive human being I've ever met, and he had a brown wig that was on crooked, and I don't know if that was part of it- (laughs) ... that you get focused on, "Dude, what's up with your wig?" (laughs) And, and then that maybe got you offbeat a little bit. And, uh, and then he had a tall glass of water with no ice in it, and he took these little tiny sips out of it. Now, I don't know if that was part of the setup or not, but the garage thing was like a velour recliner that hadn't been 30 years old, and it wasn't well kept or anything. And so I sat in there and, uh, and then when he just talked about, you know, kind of what was going on with my body and all this liquor that I was pouring into it, and kind of like how your heart and your lungs and your kidney like to work together to keep you living. And I've had an all-out assault on all three of them for 50 years, and, and you know, whatever. And, uh, and so he got through with the first session, and he would put me under, and I would go under, that's for sure. And, uh, 'cause he would have to snap me out of it. I was just sitting there conscious of everything he was saying, but in a whatever hypnotic state, for sure. So he was good at that. And, uh, and obviously it was kind of weird because he said, "Imagine you're on the 22nd floor of a building, and you're getting on the elevator." And it's kind of weird because I live on the 22nd floor of a building. He didn't know that, but odd. And, uh, so I finished the first session. He says, "Okay, don't, don't quit drinking." I'm like, "Great, great." (laughs) I'm, I'm, I like this program. So I came back and I thought maybe I -- it was four sessions over a period of a month, and, um, and so, uh, but after the second one, I quit drinking and, uh, and I was just waiting for the shoe to fall, you know? I was waiting to start getting sick off of not drinking, and, uh, and it, and it didn't happen, and it really didn't bother me not to drink. And it was set up for as soon as I was finished with that, I'd go straight to, to south, uh, or, uh, whatever, uh... Whatever that pill I took? Uh, Costa Rica. And, um, and I checked into this place, and it was really, really nice. You can go, you can, where you can share a room with somebody, which they recommend that experience with somebody you don't know. Uh, but I didn't want to do that. So you can also get your own room, and it's not overly expensive compared to rehab in Malibu, you know, which I repriced at 100 grand, uh, for 30 days. What? 100 grand. Uh- Really? Three grand a night, and they recommended a minimum of 30 days. And, uh, and that, that was on the street I lived on in, in Beverly Hills, up at the top of it. And, um, so this is like f- You could do this for like, if you shared a room with somebody for like f- like $1,800 for a week. And, uh, mine was like $5 grand, but I had a nice room, and it was, you know, a really nice place. They cooked all your food, and it was healthy, but it was really good. You know, it was, uh, no soda pop, no alcohol, no, you know, uh, a lot of shit I wouldn't advertise if I was trying to get people (laughs) to go down there. And, uh, but you know, pineapple juice and coconut water, fucking great. And, um, so the... You, you get down there and you had a group of about 50 people, I think, was in our group that were in, uh... They, everybody has their own room, but then there's this one space where everybody gets together for this experience of ayahuasca. So there's 50 mattresses on the floor that have, you know, really nice sheets and pillows and blankets, and they're on the floor. And it's very ceremonial in that, you know, there's a guy, a shaman, looks like a shaman, feathers and shit, and, uh, you stand in line with your little cup, and he gives you a cup of this mud, awful tasting stuff. And I did mine, and I just talked to him like he was a regular person, and, uh, I said, "So what do you do?" And he says, "Well..." Well, outside there was a bunch of hammocks. It was beautiful space, really couldn't have been any better, and hammocks all around. He says, "Go out there and sit in a hammock, and whenever you need to. When it's time, you just come back in." I said, "How do I know when it's time?" He goes, "Oh, you'll know." I said, "Okay, all right." So I took my ayahuasca and I went out there, and I'm like, "Oh, it's kind of like mushrooms a little bit." I felt myself coming onto it. And then, uh, and then I opened my mouth and the entire forest poured into it, and I'm like, "That's probably the signal right there that-" (laughs) "... it's time to go in. I think I get it." So I went in and I laid down on my, my bunk. Now some people throw up on it, so you have a puke bucket too, but some people get the shits, and I got the shits. Vomiting is way better, uh, because you can vomit from your bed. But if you got the shits, you gotta get up and find some place. There's bathrooms, a lot of them, so -- but I never thought I'd see people throwing up in a bucket and go, "Lucky. D- I wish I was throwing up, but I've, I've got the shits." And so I laid down and I tr- tripped so hard and it was really dark, and they said, "Lean towards the dark side." So if there's a, a rainbow and a unicorn and then there's a guy you don't understand in your yard, go that, go towards the dark guy in the yard. Don't hop on the unicorn and jump over the rainbow. Go the other way. And, and don't fight it, just let it happen. But I think I just struggled with it the first night, and, uh, and, and uh, I- I was getting really distorted images of people's faces when they got close to me, and, and I was tripping so hard that I was like... My head was itching and I just couldn't figure it out, you know, how to make my head stop itching. And, uh, I thought about scratching it, but I wasn't exactly sure how to use my hands anymore. And somebody walked by and I asked them to scratch my head, and they're like- Oh. (laughs) ... "Yeah, sure. Like this?" (makes scratching sounds) Yeah. Oh, that's it, that's it. That's good. And I really thought towards the end of that, that I wouldn't do it again, because I just didn't see the benefit of, of, of it, you know? It scared me. It didn't scare me.But it wasn't pleasant at all, you know? It was like, it wasn't like mushrooms and it wasn't like acid. Uh, it, to me it wasn't. And, uh, and you could almost see somebody's skull when they were too close to you, and it was, I was just wanting it to be over. And, uh, and the beautiful thing about ayahuasca is, it is over. I mean, it only goes for like two hours. And when it, when it's done, it's done. And so they time it so you can do more, you can do all you want, but, but not past a certain point. And then it's, at one point they turn on the lights and go, "Good morning," and it's over. You know, you can't just go home, go back to your room and go to sleep real fast, but it's over. You, all those things are gone. They, it gets out of your system completely, so fast. And then there's, you know, there's music. There's a l- you know, live band or, you know, people with congas and guitars and shit, so it was funky. And some people were even, while I was in my wildest point of this trip, they were up just dancing around the room. I'm like, (laughs) "Jesus Christ, how are you doing this? I don't understand." And, uh, so I thought, and I think that's about enough, right? And then, uh, the next, by the next day, once I got out of it, and then, uh, people were kinda sitting around and shared their experiences and whatever, and, and I was into the whole thing, and I was really trying to surrender myself to the experience, you know? I was trying to do what they were asking me to do, and, uh, and get the whole ride, you know? And, uh, s- so the next night

  6. 25:41 – 29:56

    Ayahuasca night two onward: love, rebirth, a full meltdown, and post-ceremony bonding

    1. RW

      I went in and he gave me ... It was a different shaman every night, and, uh, the, he gave me about a half a cup and, uh, I said, "Uh, the other person gave me a whole cup of this." And he said, uh, "Yeah, the Mother Ayahuasca, uh, said to give you the night off (laughs) and, and tone it down for you." And he, I don't know if he talked to the other guy, and I don't know why he said that, but ... So I took that dose and I went outside and I sat for ... And I, and I noticed it had been a while, a w- a while, and it, and it started coming on to me. And, uh, and, and I just felt this overpouring of love. I mean, it was just amazing, uh, for everything. I felt it just filling my body with just love and, and happiness. And so that night I was really just digging on the music, got up and danced. Uh, everybody wears white and I thought it, I didn't know why at first, but that's so they can't see you s- they can see you sneaking off to your room to get some smokes. (laughs)

    2. NA

      (laughs)

    3. RW

      'Cause they, they busted me doing that the first night. I was like trying to creep away, I'm like, "I didn't know you could smoke out here." But, uh, so the, uh, that was great and, uh, uh, uh, afterwards, uh, I really felt a just deep connection to the whole place, you know? It felt like this was, you know, a journey that was, you know, designed for me, you know, because I just felt wonderful about myself, about decisions I was making, uh, about the direction I was headed in my life and all this stuff. And then the, the next night was a bigger dose, and I went back and got a bigger dose, and went back and got another dose, and just rode it out and fucking loved it. And, uh, it was really just that first ... And he said that the first night was kind of a death and the second night was a, kind of a rebirth. And, uh, and I'm like, "Okay." (laughs)

    4. NA

      (laughs)

    5. RW

      "Whatever." So the last night (clears throat) you start it at like 7:00, I think, and it's over at 12:30, uh, the, that experience. And then the last night you start at 5:00 and it goes till 10:00 the next day. So you do smaller doses, but you do them all night long. And, uh, and, and that was really groovy for me, but this one chick completely wigged out, and, uh, and I mean kicking, screaming, yelling, really unpleasant. And, uh, they had to take her outside and tie her up before she hurt somebody.

    6. NA

      Oh, my God.

    7. RW

      And I thought, "Why aren't these guys wigging out over this?" 'Cause I am. You know, the, uh, 'cause it looked like she was gonna hurt somebody or hurt herself and they were having a hard time controlling her. And she didn't even know that it was an ayahuasca place. She thought it was a yoga place, and her husband signed her up for it. Now, she had done ayahuasca three other nights and was fine, but this time she ge- she just fucking lost it. And, uh, so they took her outside and they just bound her up and they stayed with her. And, uh, but here's the thing. When it's over, it's over, and even though everybody was really concerned about her, she came back in with the biggest smile on her face, and she had some demons, and she needed to work through it and it was horrible. I, I know what it was that happened to her, uh, because it, they told me and, uh, and it was awful, awful, awful. And-

    8. NA

      So some stuff from her past.

    9. RW

      Some stuff from her past, uh, horrible. I won't even say.

    10. NA

      Yeah.

    11. RW

      And, um, so, so she went from who knows what in what place she was in to the biggest smile I've ever seen, and she worked through whatever it was. And, uh-

    12. NA

      Wow.

    13. RW

      Uh, so, um, and then I met some friends down there. They got married the next morning. We'd been up all night and, you know, some (laughs) ceremony thing, but I was just into it, you know? And then, uh, Jeannie, my girlfriend, came out and then I was gonna stay for two weeks and I decided not to, so I'm gonna go back another week and, uh, do it again.

    14. NA

      When are you gonna go back?

  7. 29:56 – 1:10:07

    Retirement plan: one more year, filming a final special, and frustrations with Netflix deals

    1. RW

      And, uh, I don't know. I haven't decided. I've, my schedule's so packed now I can't even find a spot for it. And, uh, and then I'm gonna do standup for one more year and then I'm gonna retire.

    2. NA

      Really?

    3. RW

      Yeah.

    4. NA

      Why'd you decide one more year?

    5. RW

      Uh, you know, because I had all those dates sold out, so I couldn't quit.You know, it was- it- it, you know, I- I... Although I could have got out of it contractually, I had fans out there that bought tickets.

    6. JR

      Right.

    7. RW

      And, uh, and I- I decided to go ahead and do what it took to get my chops back and go perform and- and- and say goodbye in a proper way, you know, and, uh, and- and not just, you know, go out on COVID. And so... And I'm glad I did. So we're gonna, you know, do as- as much... I'm only doing two days a week next year, as opposed to three.

    8. JR

      Are you gonna film?

    9. RW

      At the end of it, you know, I should have a pretty good special to do, and I'll film it and see what I do with it. I don't know what I'll do with it. Um, the, uh... I didn't like the last Netflix deal for me, and I know they're great for some people, but, uh, for me, they were pretty tight and very demanding, and they wanted the rights to the material forever. And, uh, a cut of the album. If I sold an album, they got a piece of that, and... So I don't know. I went ahead and did it, but then I regretted it. Uh, but I don't know what it did for my exposure worldwide, but I'll never find out because I'm probably not gonna go on... I'm probably not gonna go to Australia next year, and I'm probably not gonna go back to London next year.

    10. JR

      Right.

    11. RW

      And, uh, so who knows? But I just thought there were... You know, it- it was fine, and I think it upped my exposure for sure, you know, and I thought it was a decent special. Uh, so I'll have it... I'll film it for sure, but I don't know what I'm gonna do with it, but I'll have it just to have in the can.

    12. JR

      Just put it... You could always just put it out on YouTube or something.

    13. RW

      Yeah, yeah, that's... I'll just figure it out, you know?

    14. JR

      That's the best way to get people to see it.

    15. RW

      Right.

    16. JR

      You know? Because anybody can see it on YouTube.

    17. RW

      Right.

    18. JR

      I mean, I looked at... Uh, Shane Gillis put a special out, did it himself just a few months ago, and I- I just looked at his two million views on YouTube.

    19. RW

      So you don't know on- on Netflix?

    20. JR

      Yeah, that's the problem.

    21. RW

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      You really have no idea.

    23. RW

      Yeah, we don't share that information. Oh-

    24. JR

      Which is kind of crazy.

    25. RW

      Yeah. Why? 'Cause it would really be valuable information to me, you know, they're really loving you in Melbourne.

    26. JR

      Yeah. Well, the problem is, it'd be valuable information if you wanted to have a renegotiation and come back in again.

    27. RW

      Right. Yeah, I figure that that's where-

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. RW

      ... the source of their, uh...

    30. JR

      Yeah. Well, it's like they have, they have the ability to say no, so they choose to. It's... You know, it's a strange thing, this, uh, this streaming world. The streaming world is very odd. You know, and they're a large corporation, so they have to, they have to deal with shit, like people complaining about material, and this is the time of complainers.

  8. 39:51 – 56:36

    Ron’s extortion-style accusation story and the media’s incentive to print allegations

    1. RW

      Right. Did we talk on the last podcast about that girl that accused me of molesting sh- of molesting her and, uh, sued me for...

    2. JR

      I don't think we did.

    3. RW

      I know you know about it, right?

    4. JR

      Yeah. Yeah.

    5. RW

      And, uh...

    6. JR

      I don't think it's molesting when it's a grown woman, right?

    7. RW

      No, it doesn't... It was-

    8. JR

      What is it? Sexual?

    9. RW

      What she said was just so untrue, that at a charity event, at a photo shoot at a charity event, that I touched her pussy. And I'm like, "No, I didn't." I don't... What? What are you saying? That the l- lights are on and people are... You know, that I reached under your dress and found out you weren't wearing panties and decided to touch your p- p... That didn't happen. And then she said she had a witness that was her friend that, that saw the whole thing, and her friend wrote it out. And, uh, but her friend said I touched her butt. I'm like, "That could have happened." You know, I don't know. I was, I w- it was... I was having fun, and I was pretty drunk. But I know that I didn't do what she was saying, but I knew that didn't carry any weight.

    10. JR

      Right.

    11. RW

      And so they said, "Give us $250,000 or we're gonna put this on the front page of every newspaper in Texas," which they could have done. And, uh, so now you're in a position where... I know that... I knew, kind of knew Scott Baio in that I played golf with him once. And, uh, and he got accused. That 17-year-old girl or whatever said that he had sex with her. And it was big news, and he got canceled. And everybody went, "Scott Baio's a bad guy." Well, guess what? It didn't happen, and she recanted it. But the recant was so small that nobody knew it.

    12. JR

      Right.

    13. RW

      But the news of him doing it was so big, and, and I knew that that was gonna happen to me, and I still wanted to fight it. But my manager is, "Oh, no, Ron." He's British. "You can't, you can't do this. You, you, you've got to settle." And I'm like, "No, I'm not gonna do it." And then they got down to $40,000, and I'm like, "Well, I got 45,000 bucks in a sack over here. I'll give you that." And, uh, so, and I still to this day hate myself for doing that.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. RW

      But it made sense, right? Because then I g- I don't have to fight this fight. But it's amazing that people can say, "We're gonna say things about you that aren't true."... and we don't have to prove it, and we can put it on the front page of every newspaper that'll put it on the front page of their paper and destroy your credibility and your image. And then if we... later, we'll just have to go, "Sorry."

    16. JR

      Yeah.

    17. RW

      And, uh, so it didn't make sense to go through all that, and they, and they were, uh... But it seems like it should be illegal. We can make these claims that are not true. Uh, you know, I, I'd say that there should be a law that they should have to wait for a conviction or something, you know? You wanna run it through a court system, fine, but let's just print the outcome of the, of the trial, which I would have won hands down, no questions asked. Uh-

    18. JR

      But the thing is, like, journalism is strange. Like, an accusation is a story. And so, they can just print that accusation, and all of a sudden, to people that are just casually reading, which is most people... They, most people just barely read the headlines and then maybe read, like, a paragraph in-

    19. RW

      Right.

    20. JR

      ... and then they bail on the article. To most people, that's a true story.

    21. RW

      Yup, as soon as they see it.

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. RW

      And I read, you know... F- I got probably 15 newspap- newsfeeds on my phone that I read every day, and, uh, you're always at least in two or three (laughs) of the-

    24. JR

      Yes.

    25. RW

      ... fucking articles, and I'm like, "Yeah, let's leave Joe alone here, man."

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. RW

      Joe's not doing anything.

    28. JR

      Well, this thing's stupid popular. It's very weird, you know? I mean, it's, it seems, again, like it's just you and me talking.

    29. RW

      I... Yeah, right. (laughs) That's exactly what it seems like.

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  9. 56:36 – 1:12:15

    The comedy craft: club culture, ‘the tribe,’ writing cycles, and why you can’t teach stand-up

    1. JR

      Well, what we do is so weird that, like, no one wants to stop. You know, George Carlin died on the road. He died in a hotel room, I think in Vegas, right? Is that where he died? I think he died in Vegas. I think he was doing shows in Vegas and died in his hotel. And, you know, and he was older, and he had had a bunch of, uh, problems with pills and several stints in rehab for that, and those are very hard on you.

    2. RW

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      Very hard on your body. You know, it's, um, it's a thing like every other, uh, occupation, I guess except acting. Like, Clint Eastwood's 90, still acting.

    4. RW

      Right.

    5. JR

      You know? But most occupations, you get to 65, and people assume that you're gonna think about settling down, relaxing. But not our business. It's like, it's, there's something about it. It's, um, it's, uh, uh, it's so rare. I j- I always say that to people, like, like, me and Tony have talked about this before. Can you imagine going through your whole life and never have been killed on stage? That, that feeling that you get when the au- when you hit a big punchline-

    6. RW

      Right.

    7. JR

      ... and the audience is just roaring. And, you know, you got hundreds or thousands, how many people are there, people just feeling so good, having so much fun, slapping their knee and slapping the table and laughing so hard and just having a great fucking time. It's an amazing ability to do that.

    8. RW

      It is. And I, and even this morning, like I said, I was listening to some old stuff, and what I was listening to was the crowd-

    9. JR

      Yeah.

    10. RW

      ... and just how nuts they were-

    11. JR

      Yeah.

    12. RW

      ... and how hard they popped at every single thing, and just-

    13. JR

      Yeah.

    14. RW

      But it's not a part-time job.

    15. JR

      No.

    16. RW

      It is a full-time job, and you can lose your chops at this.

    17. JR

      Yeah.

    18. RW

      And, uh, so I, I think that... I don't know if it was Seinfeld that I heard say it or somebody, maybe it was Chris Rock, uh, but that, uh, you should be on stage every day, you know? And I know that you try to do that. I mean, you do a, a, a m- a million things, I don't even know how, but you also get your sets in every, every single week. And so (coughs) the, uh, I, I used to watch guys that got famous, they were like club comics and they got famous in TV or something, then they'd come back to the clubs (coughs) and they would suck.

    19. JR

      Yeah.

    20. RW

      Uh, and, uh, and, but there w- then there was these guys that worked the circuit that were doing nine shows a week that were just blistering good.

    21. JR

      Yeah.

    22. RW

      And they're guys you've never heard of that couldn't sell tickets or make much money. And I would way rather see one of those guys than some guy (laughs) that's just kinda popping back in-

    23. JR

      Right.

    24. RW

      ... for a couple of months or whatever.

    25. JR

      Those guys that did TV shows and then stopped doing standup and then would try to do it again, that was the worst to watch. It was so sad.

    26. RW

      It's almost like a professional football player trying to get back into professional football.

    27. JR

      Right.

    28. RW

      It's u- almost undoable-

    29. JR

      Right.

    30. RW

      ... I think.

Episode duration: 2:59:37

Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript

Transcript of episode FMvtGIrjwWM

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.

iOSAndroidClaudeChrome