Joe Rogan Experience #1758 - Carrot Top

1. 0:00 – 1:24

   Meeting Carrot Top: Instagram bits, comedy longevity, and peer acceptance

   1. CTCarrot Top0:00

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Cheers, sir.

   4. CTCarrot Top0:14

      Dude, yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Uh, happy New Year.

   6. CTCarrot Top0:15

      Happy New Year to you, too.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      And very nice to officially meet you.

   8. CTCarrot Top0:17

      Yeah, it's cool. Hmm. (glasses clink) Oh.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      I follow you on the Instagram. Watch your posts-

   10. CTCarrot Top0:22

       Oh, yeah, yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       ... all the time.

   12. CTCarrot Top0:23

       Okay, good. Yeah, I follow you, too.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       See what a big, silly goose, you're having a good time.

   14. CTCarrot Top0:26

       Yes. (laughs) I've been doing these, uh, these little, um, in... what do you call it? Where you kind of reenact a scene from movies, and it's been really fun. And it's hard 'cause you have to, you have to, like, know the scene really well. So I've done, like, the Planes, Trains, and All... you know, My fucking car?

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Mm-hmm.

   16. CTCarrot Top0:41

       My fucking w-... Um, so it's been fun. It's, um, my new little, uh, gig. But yeah, I try to keep it fun, Instagram, for-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       No, you definitely do. And y- you're obviously... You've done a lot of radio 'cause you have one ear on-

   18. CTCarrot Top0:52

       I, you know, so... (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       ... and one ear off. That's... Jim Norton always does that.

   20. CTCarrot Top0:53

       Now that I'm this retarded, no, I, I do it...

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       (laughs)

   22. CTCarrot Top0:55

       ... this in p-... Oh, Jim Norton does that too?

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Yeah.

   24. CTCarrot Top0:57

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       A lot of people do that-

   26. CTCarrot Top0:58

       I don't know. I like, uh...

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       ... who don't do a lot of radio.

   28. CTCarrot Top0:59

       Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. So I like doing it like...

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       Yeah, they want, like, a little amb- ambiance.

   30. CTCarrot Top1:01

       Yeah, a little bit of... Yeah, a little... Exactly, exactly.
2. 1:24 – 4:10

   Why Carrot Top became a punching bag (and why that never made sense)

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:24

      And you take... You at least used to take a lot of shit. And I-

   2. CTCarrot Top1:28

      I, uh-

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:28

      I never understood it.

   4. CTCarrot Top1:29

      I never under... Uh, I don't... I don't either. I never have understood that. But it's mellowed out a little bit because it's kinda like, you know, you've done it so long, you, you're-

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:36

      Yeah.

   6. CTCarrot Top1:36

      ... kinda like, okay, you can go to the barbecue now. You're a part of the club.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:39

      (laughs)

   8. CTCarrot Top1:40

      But, um, for years and years, I mean, uh, from, from the very, very beginning, which is kind of funny, you being a comic W-... But when I started in Florida, um, one thing everybody worried about was, uh, was, you know, th- thief or, you know-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:51

      Yeah.

   10. CTCarrot Top1:51

       ... you don't want to steal, you know. I stole Zach's act, so I thought, "You know, not only did I do my, my thing just because I wanted to do props." But I thought, "Wow, no one's gonna hate me because I'm doing... I'm not doing anyone's..." I mean, I'm, you know, stealing Crime Watch signs and shit, so-

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:05

       Right. (laughs)

   12. CTCarrot Top2:06

       ... and lugging 'em around the country. So if anything, they would say, you know, "Okay, he's not funny," or, "He's... At least he's original, but he's not funny." But they would say, "Oh, no, he's..." you know, everything. They... I just got... I would get shit for... Uh, like, I was the shit. Like, I was just filling the punchline, just-

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       Yeah, you were-

   14. CTCarrot Top2:21

       ... little bit more like Carrot Top.

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       ... you were a whipping boy.

   16. CTCarrot Top2:23

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:23

       You know what it's like? You're like the... It's like Nickelback. For whatever Nickelback takes so much shit-

   18. CTCarrot Top2:29

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:29

       ... it's like someone decides that that's a good punchline, you know, whether it's Carrot Top or Nickelback.

   20. CTCarrot Top2:33

       Right, right. And I've seen Nickelback, and they put on a pretty amazing show.

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:36

       They've got some good songs, man.

   22. CTCarrot Top2:37

       And they do.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:38

       They're pop songs, yeah, but so fucking what? It's like-

   24. CTCarrot Top2:41

       I...

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:41

       ... they're not hurting anybody.

   26. CTCarrot Top2:43

       It was, you know... So, so let's say I would do a show and we have a, you know, nice crowd, it was great, standing ovation. We get on the bus and we're driving to wherever, next gig, and we're all watching, uh, you know, the TV and then boom, there's a Carrot Top rip. And I'd be like, "You know, what the fuck? We just-"

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:57

       (laughs)

   28. CTCarrot Top2:58

       "... I just... Not only... We just did a great show, we had a whole bunch of people laughing."

   29. JRJoe Rogan3:01

       Yeah.

   30. CTCarrot Top3:01

       So this one guy is telling me, you know, that I s-... Whatever, you know. I've always been a guy that's, uh, considered the source. I mean, I was always picked on as a kid, but the... But when I'd come home, my mom would, you know, "What happened?" Uh, "A guy picked on me." "Who was it?" And I was, "This guy." Well, consider me the source, right?
3. 4:10 – 7:04

   Owning prop comedy: influences, originality, and the Gallagher confrontation

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:10

      Well, I think, first of all, you own the genre now. There used to be, like, when I started in '88, there used to be-

   2. CTCarrot Top4:17

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:18

      ... prop comics.

   4. CTCarrot Top4:19

      Y- yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:19

      You became so successful as a prop comic that you own the genre. Like, there's no prop comics anymore, man.

   6. CTCarrot Top4:25

      I think... I know (laughs) . I don't think anyone wants to be one.

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:28

      (laughs)

   8. CTCarrot Top4:28

      That's what I think. They're like, "Fuck that, I'm not going down that path."

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:31

      (laughs)

   10. CTCarrot Top4:31

       "I gotta... I'm gonna take over all the abuse that I took." I'd tell 'em, "Don't do it."

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:35

       (laughs)

   12. CTCarrot Top4:36

       Um, but then we had, though, like you said, though, uh, Rip Taylor or-

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:39

       Yeah.

   14. CTCarrot Top4:39

       ... um, Gallagher.

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:40

       Mm-hmm.

   16. CTCarrot Top4:40

       Uh, and, and by the way, Gallagher was a b- very much of an influence, uh, on me when I was... when I started doing, uh, comedy at night, and, um, I'd, I, I, I would get, uh... Well, I, I should just tell you 'cause so, so, uh, one day, Gallagher meets me for lunch and, and I hope Gallagher's listening. So he, um, he's up my... I'm... He's yelling at me and screaming at me in front of everybody, in front of the, like, the valet. And he says I stole his act. And I was like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:05

       What?

   18. CTCarrot Top5:05

       ... "Gallagher." Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:06

       He meets you for lunch-

   20. CTCarrot Top5:07

       I mean, but-

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:07

       ... to yell at you?

   22. CTCarrot Top5:08

       Yeah, well, I think we've made up since, I think. He came to the show and told me how to redo it, but, uh... No, he did. He's, uh... (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:14

       I've heard him on Stuart, dude.

   24. CTCarrot Top5:15

       He said, "Get rid of that."

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:16

       He sounds fucking crazy.

   26. CTCarrot Top5:18

       "Get rid of that." And, and, and, and, you know, stopped doing props. So, um, yeah. So, uh, I... But the thing that I thought was kinda funny because I... In my defense of Gallagher, I used to always say, um, it's not the watermelon that's... He's a really brilliant comic. I mean, you can go back and listen to his, his writing.

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:37

       Yeah.

   28. CTCarrot Top5:37

       It was great. But all people knew was him jumping on a big couch and hitting-

   29. JRJoe Rogan5:41

       Right.

   30. CTCarrot Top5:41

       ... hitting a watermelon. But I would always say, "No, that guy's a genius." And so then he meets me and he tells me, "You know what? You, you st- you stole my act. And you didn't steal the... You stole the stupid stuff." And I said, "We talked." I didn't... Well, first of all, I didn't steal anything. He says, "Hey, the stupid stuff. Why didn't you steal the smart stuff? The words, the stuff that's actually clever? Why would you steal..." I said, "But I didn't steal..."... it's my stupid stuff. I didn't-
4. 7:04 – 8:19

   TV writing vs. his style: the Family Guy 'seesaw' debate

   1. CTCarrot Top7:04

      But when I ... Yeah. And when I did the, uh, Family Guy, um, they said, uh, they called, they said, "You know, we've got the thing all ready," and they sent me the script. And I was like ... (smacks lips) So the joke is, it's a seesaw, right? So I'm like, "Uh, so its prop is a saw with glasses on it, right?" And that's kind of not what I do, right? And so I was like, "Oh, man, this is, uh ... I don't like this. Can we change it to something that I do?" And the guy s- that was this, um, what's his-

   2. JRJoe Rogan7:31

      Seth MacFarlane?

   3. CTCarrot Top7:32

      MacFarlane says, um, "Dude, no, this is ... Peep, it's fucking great." And I said, "I know, but it's a seesaw. It's really stupid."

   4. JRJoe Rogan7:39

      (laughs)

   5. CTCarrot Top7:39

      And he says, uh, "Well, I wrote it." I said, "No. It's not that stupid then."

   6. JRJoe Rogan7:42

      (laughs)

   7. CTCarrot Top7:42

      Um, I said, "Now, no, I just wanna do ps- like, can I, can I do one of my props?" He said, "Well, two thi- two things are wrong. We already have the animation done."

   8. JRJoe Rogan7:50

      Right.

   9. CTCarrot Top7:50

      "And secondly, everyone loves it. And if you don't wanna do it, we'll, you know, we'll just get someone else to do the voice, it's fine." I said, "No, no, I wanna do it. I just... if we can't, fuck it." So I did it, and I still, to this day, get people going, "Dude, seesaw."

   10. JRJoe Rogan8:03

       (laughs)

   11. CTCarrot Top8:04

       So they were, (laughs) they were right. You know? I just, uh, I just was like, "Damn it, I want it to be a little more ... but whatever."

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:10

       I get it.

   13. CTCarrot Top8:11

       Yeah, right. (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan8:11

       Well, also, you've gotta be a little defensive after all the years of people shitting on you.

   15. CTCarrot Top8:16

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:17

       (laughs)

   17. CTCarrot Top8:18

       Yeah, true.

5. 8:19 – 11:48

   Life in Vegas: residency realities, road energy, and constant iteration

   1. JRJoe Rogan8:19

      What is it like having a Vegas residency? 'Cause I've always thought about that, like, there's people that I think did it where maybe they probably shouldn't have done it, and then there's people like you, that it seemed ... you seem to be having a good time doing it.

   2. CTCarrot Top8:32

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan8:32

      And then you still do occasional shows in other spots?

   4. CTCarrot Top8:35

      I mean, yeah. Yeah, I love it. I mean, I was telling your guys out front there a bit ago, uh, that, uh, in the beginning I was very reluctant 'cause I was more road guy-

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:42

      Yeah.

   6. CTCarrot Top8:42

      ... and so I would do, you know, the road and live on a tour bus and that. And then they, they offered the gig, and I was like, "Uh ... " So I started doing, like, just a couple weeks, which now they call residencies. It's a ... Residencies, when, you know, you live there, it's resident-

   7. JRJoe Rogan8:57

      Right.

   8. CTCarrot Top8:57

      Right. But now you have a, a weekend, "Oh, they're doing a residency," so, uh, so I said, "Ah, I'll do two weeks at a time then." It was kinda rough. I was a you- I was, I wasn't ... The Vegas is a different beast. I just wasn't ready for a, people sitting in, you know, like, booths and eating, you know, like dinner show eating, and sli- kinda getting slouched. And I was like, "I'm used to people like," you know-

   9. JRJoe Rogan9:19

      Psyched for the show.

   10. CTCarrot Top9:20

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan9:21

       Yeah. They're coming out to see you.

   12. CTCarrot Top9:22

       And like George Carlin would tell me-

   13. JRJoe Rogan9:23

       Yeah.

   14. CTCarrot Top9:23

       ... how many times he says, "You know, y- may- we couldn't get into ... Oh, so fuck it, I'm gonna go see Carlin," kinda thing. So, as I've gotten more fans, I think I'm getting more of my audience. But back then, there was just people that were, you know, going by a buffet, going, "I'll get a Carrot Top ticket and whatever, check it out."

   15. JRJoe Rogan9:36

       How long you been doing it now in Vegas?

   16. CTCarrot Top9:38

       Uh, this is 16 at the Luxor, and then 10-

   17. JRJoe Rogan9:40

       Wow.

   18. CTCarrot Top9:41

       ... 10 at the MGM. So 20 s-

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:43

       26 years?

   20. CTCarrot Top9:44

       And then at Bally's once, one year, I mean. Sorry. So 27 years?

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:48

       Wow. So you've been in Vegas for-

   22. CTCarrot Top9:50

       Penn & Teller have been going back and forth on who's the, been the longest. And I say, "Well, I do all the work. You have fucking Teller, right?"

   23. JRJoe Rogan9:57

       (laughs)

   24. CTCarrot Top9:57

       So I (laughs) , I win by default.

   25. JRJoe Rogan10:00

       Well, y- you know-

   26. CTCarrot Top10:01

       I mean, Teller doesn't do shit, he just stands there.

   27. JRJoe Rogan10:03

       Penn and Teller, that's a very ... they're very unique people.

   28. CTCarrot Top10:06

       Absolu- very, very unique, yes.

   29. JRJoe Rogan10:07

       And, you know, Penn is a, is a super interesting guy. And he, you really wouldn't think that he would fit in in Vegas. Like-

   30. CTCarrot Top10:14

       Penn?
6. 11:48 – 14:58

   The logistics of props: semis, pyro, snow machines, and club-owner shock

   1. JRJoe Rogan11:48

      How much shit do you have?

   2. CTCarrot Top11:50

      Oh, a lot.

   3. JRJoe Rogan11:51

      (laughs) Like do you have-

   4. CTCarrot Top11:52

      We used to have ... It used to be a, it used to be, uh, it used to be, when we'd do the road shows, it was, uh, a whole semi.

   5. JRJoe Rogan11:56

      A whole semi?

   6. CTCarrot Top11:57

      A semi. Yeah, well, 'cause we had ramps and risers and p-pyro, and it was like-... it was a big show and people would say, like, uh, and the people that would come there to unload the truck to set up the show for that day, let's say we're here in Austin, they'd be like, "All this shit for fucking, uh, uh, uh, for one guy?" And I said, "It takes a lot of shit to make me funny."

   7. JRJoe Rogan12:13

      (laughs)

   8. CTCarrot Top12:13

      "I need all this shit, trust me. (smacks lips) I need my props and my trunks and my lights and my snow machines and..." (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan12:19

      Yeah. No, I get it.

   10. CTCarrot Top12:20

       I did that way back e- uh, the very first club I did that, they were, like, livid with me 'cause I had, like, a... And I used to do it all by myself back then. I made, my dad was a scientist so he made this, like, pedal, foot pedal, and I could hit, first button did a strobe light and the second one was a snow machine and the third one was a, was something, (smacks lips) I don't know, a sound effect or something. And, uh, a club owner came up the sec- between two shows he says, "What? Was there a fucking snow machine in the middle of the show?"

   11. JRJoe Rogan12:44

       (laughs)

   12. CTCarrot Top12:44

       I was like, "Yeah." "Why?" I said, "Didn't you see the show? It made, it made sense." I ate a peppermint patty and I said, "What was lightning and uh, huh huh, and then snow came down."

   13. JRJoe Rogan12:52

       (laughs)

   14. CTCarrot Top12:52

       Whatever the joke was. But, um...

   15. JRJoe Rogan12:54

       And the club owner got mad?

   16. CTCarrot Top12:55

       He didn't get mad, he was just like, "I've never seen someone and a leaf blower..." 'Cause I did like a hurricane bit.

   17. JRJoe Rogan13:00

       Yeah.

   18. CTCarrot Top13:01

       That turned into a Michael Jackson bit and he would say, "I've never seen someone bring a leaf blower in to do the show."

   19. JRJoe Rogan13:06

       Well now you have.

   20. CTCarrot Top13:07

       I said, "Now you have." (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan13:08

       Yeah, now you have.

   22. CTCarrot Top13:09

       And then he said, "I love that."

   23. JRJoe Rogan13:10

       Well that's good. So, like, when you go on the road now, do you bring a semi as well?

   24. CTCarrot Top13:15

       We have lo- we have light... It's still a big truck but it's not, it's not a full-on... But yeah, 'cause we took a lot of the stuff. It was just too much to take. It was literally like setting up Aerosmith.

   25. JRJoe Rogan13:23

       And when you're in Vegas at the Luxor, is everything set up for you?

   26. CTCarrot Top13:26

       Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's... Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan13:26

       So you can just kind of plug and play?

   28. CTCarrot Top13:27

       Yeah, yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan13:28

       That's nice. How many nights a week are you there?

   30. CTCarrot Top13:30

       Six.
7. 14:58 – 19:25

   COVID shutdowns: being first back in Vegas and the surreal masked theater

   1. JRJoe Rogan14:58

      All my friends were there. But i- when we realized that the government can stop you from working, that... And you know, not just for two weeks but for fucking almost two years.

   2. CTCarrot Top15:07

      Yeah, yeah. For a year. Yeah. Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      It was so long before they allowed indoor shows again. I was like, "These people are out of their fucking minds." Like, you got to let people make their own choices. Also, this is a respiratory virus. You're, you're not stopping shit, as you can see.

   4. CTCarrot Top15:19

      Yeah. Yup, it's very true. Um, we, I was talking to, uh, the girl out there, um, about when we first got back. We were, we were, very first show back in Vegas and it was, uh, one of those things where, uh, there was just, you know, "We want you back." And I said, "Well, who else is coming back?" They said, "Nobody. Just you." And I said, "What?"

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:39

      You were the first show back?

   6. CTCarrot Top15:40

      First one. But I think it's because I was the only guy on stage. So at the shows with all the dancers and things... And even with, you know, other people. So I was the only one. Penn and Teller didn't want to do it and, you know, Criss Angel didn't want to do it. No one wanted to go back and, and I, I was dying to go back. I was, you know, uh, a year of sitting in... I mean, it was nice sitting in my boat in Florida but at the same time you're like, "I'm losing my sense of purpose, like what the fuck. I gotta, I gotta perform again." You know?

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:05

      Yeah.

   8. CTCarrot Top16:06

      So, yeah, I went back and, and then, uh, but the weird part we could, they put us in this 2200 seat theater. Um, it was the old Criss Angel theater when he played there and it was only 100 people allowed. So you had 2-

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:19

      2200 theater and 100 people?

   10. CTCarrot Top16:20

       200 seats. Yeah. 100 people and sep- distanced.

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:24

       Yeah.

   12. CTCarrot Top16:24

       And a, a 40-foot moat.

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       What?

   14. CTCarrot Top16:27

       Yeah. So-

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:28

       40 feet between you and them? (laughs)

   16. CTCarrot Top16:29

       For the, for the... I swear to God, right?

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:31

       So far.

   18. CTCarrot Top16:31

       And I used to, I used to make a joke, I said, "In fact, Galag would be hor- do horrible in here." You know, wouldn't hit anybody, you know. But, um, 40 feet is so far.

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:37

       Literally f-

   20. CTCarrot Top16:38

       Oh no. And then, and I know. And then, then, then, you know, it was, it was, it was really weird. I gotta be hon- you know. And me and my, my guys would be at the end and say, "You know, it really wasn't that bad considering in their masks so you can't... It's muffled, it's, it's..." It was...

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:51

       Yeah.

   22. CTCarrot Top16:52

       But it wasn't... I don't know, it's better than just not doing a show.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:54

       Yeah.

   24. CTCarrot Top16:55

       But there were nights you're like, "Wow, this is not k- I'm not, I don't wanna do this." You know?

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:02

       Yeah.

   26. CTCarrot Top17:02

       And so, and then it slowly, slowly got bigger and bigger. Now we're back in our, our original theater but...

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:06

       (sighs) We did, I did one show in July of 2020. I did one weekend at the Houston Improv. They were still allowing people to do shows. And this was obviously pre-vaccines, pre-everything and, you know, was still a little sketchy. And I did the show and then we had a great time and I thought, "God dammit, I'm gonna go out on the road again." And then I got really high and then I thought, "What if I get COVID and I give it to someone and they die?"

   28. CTCarrot Top17:30

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:31

       That's what I thought. I thought, "What if..." And I said, "Okay, you know, I can't do this." And so it was just too weird back then. There was no real treatment for it, no one knew what was going on.

   30. CTCarrot Top17:40

       It was a little scary, yeah. People didn't have any idea of what was happening.
8. 19:25 – 25:49

   College gigs then vs. now: NACA chaos, refusing a breezeway stage, and cancel risk

   1. CTCarrot Top19:25

      You know, J- Dave, uh, and I, we, we did shows together back in, uh, doing colleges, uh, in-

   2. JRJoe Rogan19:31

      Oh, in the NACA days?

   3. CTCarrot Top19:32

      Yeah, in NACA days.

   4. JRJoe Rogan19:33

      Oh, wow.

   5. CTCarrot Top19:34

      And, uh, this is a great... Every time I see Dave, he always says the same thing. He says, "Man, that, that..." So I'll tell you what happened. So we, we were, we played so- it was like Kansas or, uh, m- m- Iowa, some Midwest town, and we did the show. And then afterwards, you know, we were young then. He says, "Let's, let's go get a drink." So we go get a drink, and we, and, uh, we have all these college kids. And finally we were like, "We're too old for this. Let's just go back to the hotel." It was like a little La Quinta, which is Spanish, behind Denny's by the way. So we go to La Quinta, and, and this was before we had cell phones. So I said, "Hey, let's exchange numbers." And he says, "Yeah, man, let's do that." So he leans over the counter and grabs a pen out and writes his, his number down. And this guy comes out and says, "Did, did you just take money out of the cash register," and we're like, "What?" And he's like, "Did you just steal money out of the cash register?" And we're like, looked at each other. I'm like, "No, we just..." And Dave's like, "I just grabbed a pen to exchange numbers, man. Take it easy. We're..." I said, "We're the comedians, uh, you know, playing in town." He's like, "I'm calling the cops."

   6. JRJoe Rogan20:36

      Oh, Jesus Christ.

   7. CTCarrot Top20:36

      And I said to Dave, or no, Dave says, "Call the cops," and I said, "Is that camera work?" And he says, "What? The one right there?" And he goes... I said, he says, "Yep." I said, "Well, we're gonna find out then." I said, "Make sure that you got the footage of that," because, uh, we grabbed a pen. (laughs) We didn't grab cash out of that register. And sure enough, he's like, "You boys better get, get on." We're like, "We didn't, we just wanted to exchange numbers." Weird, right? Guy thought we took money out of the register. Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan21:03

      Well, you know, some people live in a world of shit.

   9. CTCarrot Top21:06

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan21:06

       You know, and you just dipped your toes into their world.

   11. CTCarrot Top21:10

       Yeah. We're like, "Well, we didn't take money, dude."

   12. JRJoe Rogan21:12

       That's, yeah.

   13. CTCarrot Top21:13

       We should've.

   14. JRJoe Rogan21:14

       That's pretty sad.

   15. CTCarrot Top21:15

       (clears throat) We were, you know, we were broke comics. We should've actually taken money out of the register.

   16. JRJoe Rogan21:21

       Those college gigs were always weird, man.

   17. CTCarrot Top21:23

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan21:23

       There, you'd travel to these strange universities that would have comics-

   19. CTCarrot Top21:27

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan21:28

       ... come and-

   21. CTCarrot Top21:28

       Yep.

   22. JRJoe Rogan21:29

       You know?

   23. CTCarrot Top21:29

       I used to do all that for, for years. I did a, goodness. Like, I'd do the morning, like, in a, in a cafeteria.

   24. JRJoe Rogan21:36

       Uh-huh.

   25. CTCarrot Top21:37

       Uh, literally.

   26. JRJoe Rogan21:38

       Yeah, I did those.

   27. CTCarrot Top21:38

       Some of those, right?

   28. JRJoe Rogan21:39

       Standing on a cafeteria table.

   29. CTCarrot Top21:41

       Yeah, yes, literally.

   30. JRJoe Rogan21:42

       Yeah.
9. 25:49 – 43:28

   Comedy controversy and context: Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, and social-media mobs

   1. CTCarrot Top25:49

      Well, even like with, with Dave. You know, Dave, um, when all that-

   2. JRJoe Rogan25:51

      Yeah.

   3. CTCarrot Top25:51

      ... went down. It... You know this probably more than I know, but they, they didn't show a lot of the people that were pro, pro for him.

   4. JRJoe Rogan25:58

      Well, here's the thing-

   5. CTCarrot Top25:58

      They kept showing the people that are against it.

   6. JRJoe Rogan25:59

      Here's the thing they didn't do with Dave. They didn't quote any of the material. If you notice it, they kept saying it's transphobic, it's transphobic, but it's one of the very rare times where someone's being accused of something, but there's not a specific thing that they point to-

   7. CTCarrot Top26:13

      Right.

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:13

      ... where they say that this is egregious-

   9. CTCarrot Top26:15

      Right, right.

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:15

       ... this is, this is transphobic. It's not transphobic.

   11. CTCarrot Top26:17

       Right, right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan26:18

       It's essentially like... It's a long love letter to a friend of his that killed herself. I mean, that's really what that part of it is. And he's saying that a lot of it is because this woman who he was friends with got dragged online and attacked in DMs-

   13. CTCarrot Top26:37

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JRJoe Rogan26:37

       ... and stuff by other people that were in the trans community that said that she shouldn't stand up for Dave Chappelle and she wound up killing herself. This was-

   15. CTCarrot Top26:45

       Yeah, that's-

   16. JRJoe Rogan26:46

       It's not a transphobic bit. It's not.

   17. CTCarrot Top26:48

       No, no.

   18. JRJoe Rogan26:48

       It's, it's like him trying to ex-... You know, if, if you're gonna give it any criticism at all, I think you could say that he talks about trans people a lot.

   19. CTCarrot Top26:58

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan26:58

       I mean, it's been a major subject matter for him for the last couple specials.

   21. CTCarrot Top27:02

       Yeah. I remember the last couple-

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:02

       But I think it's because-

   23. CTCarrot Top27:04

       ... specials he talked about that.

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:04

       But I think that's because... Look, he's the most beloved comedian of our time, he's one of the greatest comedians of all time if not the greatest, and if you look at his career, this is like really the first time he's ever been attacked-

   25. CTCarrot Top27:18

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:18

       ... about things. And so this is his response to it. It's a... You know, it's unusual for him, so I think he just wants to get his point across as clearly as possible and then he'll move on to other subject matter.

   27. CTCarrot Top27:29

       Right, right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:29

       So he's, he's devoted a lot of time to it. But when they say it's transphobic, they're, they're not being accurate. They're just looking at if he's covering the subject matter at all and he's doing it with humor, all of a sudden you can look at it as transphobic.

   29. CTCarrot Top27:43

       Yeah. It's interesting.

   30. JRJoe Rogan27:45

       It's not right.
10. 43:28 – 48:33

    Fame as a drug: Elvis’s 'heroic dose,' money adaptation, and staying grounded

    1. CTCarrot Top43:28

       Yes.

    2. JRJoe Rogan43:28

       ... yeah, my Elvis shirt, I gotta find you one of these.

    3. CTCarrot Top43:30

       Yeah, dude, I have, uh-

    4. JRJoe Rogan43:31

       One of these good, right?

    5. CTCarrot Top43:32

       I have an obsession with Elvis during that time period.

    6. JRJoe Rogan43:35

       The drug days?

    7. CTCarrot Top43:36

       Well, it's the pill days, and one of the reasons why I have this obsession is because it's a fame thing. And, uh, you mean, I'm sure you can relate to this, fame is a fucking strange drug in and of itself.

    8. JRJoe Rogan43:46

       Mm-hmm.

    9. CTCarrot Top43:47

       And I believe that Elvis was the first guy to take a heroic dose of fame. You know, like Hicks always used to talk about, or Terrence McKenna, and then Hicks quo- used to quote it, but heroic doses of mushrooms. There's a heroic dose of fame, like what Michael Jackson took, he took the most heroic dose of fame.

    10. JRJoe Rogan44:04

        But you're right, Elvis might have been the first one of this.

    11. CTCarrot Top44:06

        Yes.

    12. JRJoe Rogan44:06

        I mean, uh, there was some other guys, um, but, but you're right.

    13. CTCarrot Top44:09

        Yes.

    14. JRJoe Rogan44:09

        But where he really was beyond a superstar.

    15. CTCarrot Top44:12

        It's not good for you.

    16. JRJoe Rogan44:14

        There's a, there's a great, I wouldn't say gr- well, it was a documentary or it might have been a two-part, uh, thing on HBO, I think it is, or Netflix.

    17. CTCarrot Top44:21

        You smoke weed, Carrot Top?

    18. JRJoe Rogan44:23

        I will with you.

    19. CTCarrot Top44:24

        Okay.

    20. JRJoe Rogan44:24

        Um, I have bad lungs, but you know, I'll smoke on it. Great, this is when the, the, the whole podcast goes to shit.

    21. CTCarrot Top44:30

        Carrot Top gets high.

    22. JRJoe Rogan44:31

        I heard it's good for your lungs.

    23. CTCarrot Top44:31

        Is it?

    24. JRJoe Rogan44:32

        Yeah, I heard it's good.

    25. CTCarrot Top44:33

        I don't, I don't have any sponsors that would might get upset if I...

    26. JRJoe Rogan44:36

        (laughs) Crown and weed goes together great. That's what I heard.

    27. CTCarrot Top44:42

        So, um, I haven't been high in fucking 20 years. (laughs) I know my-

    28. JRJoe Rogan44:44

        Well, good. Perfect.

    29. CTCarrot Top44:45

        I don't do drugs. (laughs)

    30. JRJoe Rogan44:46

        Well, let's just keep it right there then.
11. 48:33 – 59:34

    Legends giving (or denying) respect: Bill Hicks blessing and Dennis Miller beef

    1. CTCarrot Top48:33

       So I tell you my Bill Hicks?

    2. JRJoe Rogan48:35

       Bill Hicks, yeah.

    3. CTCarrot Top48:35

       All right, only because this is, uh, it started out where another, you know, some people were ripping on me. So Bill Hick-

    4. JRJoe Rogan48:40

       You know the Bill Hicks bit?

    5. CTCarrot Top48:41

       Which one is it?

    6. JRJoe Rogan48:42

       The one about you?

    7. CTCarrot Top48:42

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan48:42

       Yeah.

    9. CTCarrot Top48:42

       That's what I'm gonna say first. So Bill Hicks says they're, they're draining lakes and putting in bleachers to see Carrot Top.

    10. JRJoe Rogan48:48

        Yeah. (laughs)

    11. CTCarrot Top48:48

        And, uh, which is a great... (laughs) It's hilarious.

    12. JRJoe Rogan48:51

        That's a great line.

    13. CTCarrot Top48:52

        It is a great line. Um, and here I am, fucking 20 people, and they're draining lakes and putting in bleachers to see fucking Carrot Top. And so I'm thinking, you know, I'm just thinking, "Oh, another hater," right? So I'm, you know, I'm, I'm playing in West Palm Beach at the Comedy Corner, which was the club when I wanted to... When I started. It was like, I w- I went there to audition, and all of a sudden, I'm, I'm headlining this club. And Colleen McGarr was dating Bill Hicks at the time.

    14. JRJoe Rogan49:18

        Yes.

    15. CTCarrot Top49:19

        And so he was sick. Uh-

    16. JRJoe Rogan49:21

        That was when he had cancer?

    17. CTCarrot Top49:22

        Yeah. And so I... All I said to her was, um, she said something about, um... I s- I, I didn't know he was even there. I just knew she was dating him. And I said... It was, like, between shows, and I said, "Could you just, um, pass on to Bill Hicks that, uh, you know, I hope I didn't, he doesn't hate me?" And, uh, 'cause she said, "You did such a great show." And I said, "Yeah. Tell Bill, pass on, if you call him later, tell him that I hope he didn't, he doesn't hate me, and I just, you know, I'm a huge fan." And, um, the year I won Best Comedian of the Year, he was in the, he was in the running. So it was like, I almost was like... You know, the fact that I won pissed everybody off 'cause you got Bill Hicks-

    18. JRJoe Rogan50:04

        What was the award?

    19. CTCarrot Top50:05

        Don-

    20. JRJoe Rogan50:06

        American Comedy Awards?

    21. CTCarrot Top50:07

        Yeah, Don Morera, Bill Hicks, me, and two others, I'm forgetting now, but I remember there was two. And, um, and the, the, what's her name from Atlanta, the tall blonde? She brings me up. She goes, "The winner is Carrot Top." And I go up, and it's-

    22. JRJoe Rogan50:21

        Whoa.

    23. CTCarrot Top50:22

        ... well-

    24. JRJoe Rogan50:22

        She said it like that?

    25. CTCarrot Top50:22

        Well, she was kind of like, you know, whatever. Brett Butler. And so I go up, and, and I accept it, and it was just, it was almost like I wish, I wish I hadn't won, because it was like, you know, I wanted Bill Hicks to win.

    26. JRJoe Rogan50:35

        Yeah.

    27. CTCarrot Top50:35

        Um, so anyway, I set up my show for the second show, and Colleen says, uh, "Come with me real quick. I wanna tell you something." So she walks me into the hallway, and who's standing in front of me? Bill Hicks. And it was like, um, maybe a couple of weeks before he had passed. And he was really sick. And I remember really thin, and he had, like, it was just, it was, it was just weird. And, and-

    28. JRJoe Rogan51:03

        He had a distended belly?

    29. CTCarrot Top51:05

        Yeah, and just, I mean, green, and it was just-

    30. JRJoe Rogan51:08

        No.

Episode duration: 2:26:36