Joe Rogan Experience #1778 - Joey Diaz

1. 0:00 – 1:53

   Intro

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. JDJoey Diaz0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Hey. (laughs)

   4. JDJoey Diaz0:14

      Uncle Joey live in Austin, cocksuckers.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      (laughs) So good to see you, man.

   6. JDJoey Diaz0:20

      Great to see you. You look great, man.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      You look great too.

   8. JDJoey Diaz0:22

      Great fucking studio down here. I like the lights. I like the whole cosmic effect.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:27

      I wish we had more time in town. I wanna take you around. I gotta take you to the... Uh, I wa- I wanna show you some things. I wanna show you some things. I wanna show you the club.

   10. JDJoey Diaz0:35

       Okay. Yeah, I'd like to see the club.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Yeah.

   12. JDJoey Diaz0:36

       You got a lighter open?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       Yeah. Yeah.

   14. JDJoey Diaz0:37

       Let's get this party started. I haven't smoked since this fucking... I didn't even smoke this morning.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Well, that's crazy. (laughs)

   16. JDJoey Diaz0:42

       That plane took off at... I left the house at 5:00. I was up at 4:00. I took some edibles last night with some CBD, so I woke up feeling like a fucking doctor.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       New Jersey's all wide open now, right?

   18. JDJoey Diaz0:54

       Wide open.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       It's legal, like, recreational, right?

   20. JDJoey Diaz0:56

       And... Yeah. And let me tell you something, like, they're waiting on stores. Not really.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       No?

   22. JDJoey Diaz1:01

       People just opening those motherfuckers.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Really?

   24. JDJoey Diaz1:04

       Delivery services that are tremendous.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       (laughs)

   26. JDJoey Diaz1:06

       They come to your house, deliver it whatever time.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:09

       When I was in New Orleans, I bought weed on a food truck.

   28. JDJoey Diaz1:12

       Yeah, they have those in New York.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       They had a food truck. This lady pulled up in a food truck. She was just selling weed. You figure it out? Pop the top.

   30. JDJoey Diaz1:18

       Any good? Any good?
2. 1:53 – 7:35

   New Jersey

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:53

      I love New Jersey. New Jersey's like, you're close enough to New York, but you're kind of, like, in the rest of the world. You know? Y- They're regular people, just normal people living their lives.

   2. JDJoey Diaz2:05

      They go to the city. They come back. They commute.

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:08

      Yeah.

   4. JDJoey Diaz2:08

      You, you look at them and you go, "How the fuck do you do that every day?" Get on a goddamn bus-

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:12

      I know.

   6. JDJoey Diaz2:12

      ... an hour, an hour back, walk through Times Square.

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:15

      It's a different life.

   8. JDJoey Diaz2:16

      It's a different fucking life. Me, when I moved down there, I knew that my New York days were over with.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:21

      Yeah?

   10. JDJoey Diaz2:22

       'Cause it's an hour to and fro, you know?

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:24

       Right.

   12. JDJoey Diaz2:25

       And, uh, I used to go down there 20 years ago with my buddy, Chris Fish, still lives down there, and that's how I got introduced to that area. When I was gonna move to Jersey, I was gonna move to Bergen County, so I'd be close to the city, Fort Lee, my old hometown.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:39

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JDJoey Diaz2:39

       But after the pandemic, you couldn't find shit. That Bergen County's where the, the guy went skiing, and he came back from Italy, and everybody got fucking, uh... Well, that was, like, somewhere in Westchester. But Bergen field-

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:50

       Oh, 'cause someone brought it?

   16. JDJoey Diaz2:51

       Back. Remember, I w- complained to you that the guy went skiing in Italy?

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:54

       Oh.

   18. JDJoey Diaz2:55

       And he came back. That fucking guy, he must've been the, the joy of his fucking neighborhood-

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:59

       (laughs)

   20. JDJoey Diaz3:00

       ... 'cause the whole neighborhood got it after that. He's alive still, the dude, but doesn't matter. That... When everything went down, I just wanted to get out of LA.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:07

       Mm-hmm.

   22. JDJoey Diaz3:07

       When I saw Burbank and what was going on in Burbank, and I was like, "You know what? I don't wanna raise my daughter here anymore." I, I wasn't safe.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:16

       Yeah.

   24. JDJoey Diaz3:17

       All the parades were being held around the corner from my house, all the fucking violent parades and shit, so I had people walking through my neighborhood breaking into cars, and I was like... We were dying to get the fuck out anyway. Like, I went to New York in 2016. At the airport, my wife asked me, "Why are we even going back?" She's like, "Why are we going back?"

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:38

       (sighs)

   26. JDJoey Diaz3:38

       "I can see that you like it here. You're having a good time with your friends." And I miss one thing, The Comedy Store.

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:45

       Yeah.

   28. JDJoey Diaz3:45

       That's it. But The Comedy Store, what we were doing there on Tuesday nights and Wednesday nights, that's never gonna happen again.

   29. JRJoe Rogan3:52

       Well, if it happens, it'll be happening with a different crew of people.

   30. JDJoey Diaz3:55

       With a different crew of people. Absolutely.
3. 7:35 – 12:35

   David Lucas

   1. JRJoe Rogan7:35

      Lucas is into the tequila. Is- is that him right now?

   2. NANarrator7:40

      That was him a couple days ago.

   3. JDJoey Diaz7:41

      Yeah, it was me.

   4. NANarrator7:41

      Playing golf with Katt Williams.

   5. JRJoe Rogan7:42

      No shit.

   6. JDJoey Diaz7:43

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:43

      That is Katt Williams. Wow, I wonder where they played?

   8. NANarrator7:47

      Uh, I think here? Vegas.

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:51

      Oh, Vegas. That makes sense. Yeah, he plays in Vegas all the time. He does like, um, The Mirage. And he'll stay there for a week, and he just plays golf all the time. He's an animal. He lives a life- life of leisure, you know?

   10. JDJoey Diaz8:06

       That you're supposed to.

   11. JRJoe Rogan8:07

       Yeah, he went to Maui for a couple weeks, just hangs out.

   12. JDJoey Diaz8:09

       That's what he's supposed to do. He works hard.

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:11

       Yep.

   14. JDJoey Diaz8:12

       He's that age.

   15. JRJoe Rogan8:13

       Mm-hmm.

   16. JDJoey Diaz8:13

       He can't hit it like he used to.

   17. JRJoe Rogan8:14

       Yeah.

   18. JDJoey Diaz8:14

       But he still hits it.

   19. JRJoe Rogan8:16

       Well, I think it's probably a lot easier now that he's not drinking, you know? It's probably a lot easier.

   20. JDJoey Diaz8:22

       The drinking weighs on you, bro.

   21. JRJoe Rogan8:24

       Oh, yeah. It's fun though. (laughs)

   22. JDJoey Diaz8:26

       Oh, yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan8:29

       (laughs)

   24. JDJoey Diaz8:29

       I had- I've had maybe ... since I last saw you, I had the whiskey with you in the studio, and then I had a couple of fucking maybe two, uh, Sangrias at Anthony's. And then one night I got really crazy and I go, "Let me get an Italian fucking martini." That was my biggest downfall.

   25. JRJoe Rogan8:47

       What's an Italian martini?

   26. JDJoey Diaz8:47

       Oh my God. Whiskey, whiskey, and more whiskey.

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:50

       (laughs)

   28. JDJoey Diaz8:50

       And a little bit of fucking Anisette, you know?

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:53

       Really?

   30. JDJoey Diaz8:53

       I drank it and my eyes got red, like I could feel the heat around my eyes. I- I couldn't even drink and that was it. I never drank again, dog. That was it.
4. 12:35 – 15:45

   Hard Cider

   1. JRJoe Rogan12:36

      hard ciders. I think that's a British thing, right? Aren't they into that? Or Irish?

   2. JDJoey Diaz12:40

      I think so.

   3. JRJoe Rogan12:40

      Who's into hard cider? Is that Irish folks?

   4. NANarrator12:45

      Uh...

   5. JRJoe Rogan12:45

      What is that? Like it's like, there's certain cultures. It's a Europe thing, right? Somewhere in Europe they're really into ciders.

   6. JDJoey Diaz12:53

      I just drink it 'cause it's the easiest.

   7. JRJoe Rogan12:55

      Tastes good.

   8. JDJoey Diaz12:56

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan12:56

      Yeah.

   10. JDJoey Diaz12:56

       It's the easiest, one, just not to be a fucking asshole.

   11. JRJoe Rogan12:59

       Yeah.

   12. JDJoey Diaz12:59

       When you're sitting at a table with a bunch of people drinking fucking old-fashioned and mimosas and ...

   13. JRJoe Rogan13:04

       There's times when drinks are like almost necessary, like, like a cold beer sometimes. A cold beer sometimes is just, feels like it's necessary.

   14. JDJoey Diaz13:12

       A Heineken.

   15. JRJoe Rogan13:13

       Oh.

   16. JDJoey Diaz13:13

       A fucking cold Heineken.

   17. JRJoe Rogan13:15

       Oh yeah.

   18. JDJoey Diaz13:16

       A cold, cold, cold Budweiser in a can.

   19. JRJoe Rogan13:18

       With some stone crabs?

   20. JDJoey Diaz13:20

       Oh. Oh, fucking I used to-

   21. JRJoe Rogan13:24

       You know?

   22. JDJoey Diaz13:24

       We used to go to this place, Chan's Dragon Inn, we used to get fucking zombies with steak on a stick-

   23. JRJoe Rogan13:29

       (laughs)

   24. JDJoey Diaz13:29

       ... and egg rolls and fucking, oh my God, shrimp toast. I love all that stuff. That's the whole thing. You wanna eat, drink beer-

   25. JRJoe Rogan13:36

       Yeah.

   26. JDJoey Diaz13:37

       ... with some, a nice pork sandwich.

   27. JRJoe Rogan13:39

       Yeah.

   28. JDJoey Diaz13:39

       An Italian pork sandwich with sausage and peppers, and fucking a nice cold, cold Budweiser in a can.

   29. JRJoe Rogan13:46

       That's a place I haven't been to in forever is Little Italy during the feast.

   30. JDJoey Diaz13:50

       Oh. I didn't go last year, I'm not gonna lie to you, I didn't go.
5. 15:45 – 19:15

   The Diner

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:45

      buttons to get it to go. And you would see the, the record move over and drop in. They had those. Like they had those at your little spot, like when you would sit down for a, for y- when you sit down at a diner they had y- Remember you had your own little like jukebox there?

   2. JDJoey Diaz16:00

      Remember when, at the last episode of The Sopranos when he's playing with the-

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:03

      Oh, that's right.

   4. JDJoey Diaz16:03

      ... fucking jukebox and the thing.

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:04

      That's right.

   6. JDJoey Diaz16:05

      And he puts on Don't Stop Believing.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:07

      That's a real thing in, in the whole New Jersey/New York area.

   8. JDJoey Diaz16:12

      (sighs) The diner-

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:13

      Yeah.

   10. JDJoey Diaz16:13

       ... experience-

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:14

       Diners experience.

   12. JDJoey Diaz16:14

       ... has not changed except that they close at 11:00.

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:18

       They do?

   14. JDJoey Diaz16:18

       Yeah, now because of COVID I guess-

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:20

       Ah.

   16. JDJoey Diaz16:20

       ... they close at 11:00 in Jersey. But when we went, like when we got here in August it took like two weeks to get settled, then we moved into a house. And like the second week we went out with a bunch of kids to the Manalapan Diner, and I had the fucking disco fries and the kids went fucking nuts. With the french fries, with the mozzarella cheese and the gravy, they went fucking nuts. I was high as fuck. I just started ordering and my, my wife's like, "What are you doing? These kids don't know what that is." I go, "Watch." They started handling those things. Bro, within... We moved in September 2nd. September 3rd I had to go north, and when I came back there were two moms in front of my house with four fucking kids. That's the neighborhood I'm from.

   17. JRJoe Rogan17:03

       Wow.

   18. JDJoey Diaz17:03

       Talking to my wife, talking about shit. I pulled up they're like, "How the fuck are you doing?" I'm like, "COVID."

   19. JRJoe Rogan17:08

       (laughs)

   20. JDJoey Diaz17:08

       I re- ran in the fucking house. I don't want those people around me. And now they're like our fucking best friends on the block. I got a great... It's, uh... Listen, I remember you calling me going, "Do you wanna go to Austin?" I go, "Listen, bro, I gotta be around family. I gotta go back and be around family. I, I have been too far, it's too many years that I've been without my peeps."

   21. JRJoe Rogan17:27

       It suits you. It suits you. Soon as we got there I was like, "Oh, I see where..." He's the king of New Jersey. (laughs)

   22. JDJoey Diaz17:33

       How we went to eat that night.

   23. JRJoe Rogan17:34

       Like he's not going anywhere. (laughs)

   24. JDJoey Diaz17:36

       No, it took time. The first six months were kind of rough, then I had the knee surgery.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:42

       How is the knee now?

   26. JDJoey Diaz17:43

       It sucks dick.

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:44

       Really?

   28. JDJoey Diaz17:45

       It, it, listen, uh, you know, I didn't do the research before the surgery because, I'll tell you why. If I would've done the research I would've chickened out.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:53

       Yeah?

   30. JDJoey Diaz17:53

       I would've read too much into it and gone on YouTube and seen the tools they used and shit.The knee is good. It's been, uh, 13 months. You know, I'm doing great treadmill work, all that shit, but it's tough to fucking try to do jujitsu with it.
6. 19:15 – 20:50

   Knees

   1. JRJoe Rogan19:15

      lot of things they can do for you now.

   2. JDJoey Diaz19:16

      Yeah. S-

   3. JRJoe Rogan19:16

      You know, between stem cells and PRP and, you know, you can, you can most certainly make your knees feel better, you know. There, you can, you can eliminate most of the pain. I got on this program that this guy, Knees Over Toes Guy, I had him on the podcast, his name is Ben Patrick, great guy. I had him on the podcast and, um, he has this program that he puts up online, he puts a lot of it on, just on Instagram, and it's all in how to strengthen your knees and he does it over, like, this very progressive way where you're not really, uh, overworking your knee, you're never getting to the point where you're, like, in pain, you're not push... You're not working through pain, and you build it over a long period of time and it's all about strengthening the areas around the knees with these various exercises that are pretty easy to do.

   4. JDJoey Diaz20:01

      Pretty easy to do.

   5. JRJoe Rogan20:02

      And, man, within, I don't know how many months I've been doing it now, Jamie. What are we, like eight months or something? Probably. But I've completely d- changed the way my knees feel. Like I, I was thinking I was gonna have to stop, like, hitting the bag. Like, doing workouts, kicking the bag, I was like, "Look, I'm, I'm, maybe I'm 54." Like, maybe at 54, you can't kick the bag anymore. Not true. No. I, I strengthened-

   6. JDJoey Diaz20:23

      (coughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan20:23

      ... everything up and whatever little pain that I was worried about went away. And now, now I'm good to go. Doesn't bother me at all. Like, normal shit, you know, n- normal little aches and pains. But it's not like they don't feel like they work anymore. Like, I strengthened all the area around it and constant blood flow from all these exercises, like pulling a sled backwards, that's a big one. That's a big exercise in his program. And then-

   8. JDJoey Diaz20:46

      So pull it this way?

   9. JRJoe Rogan20:47

      Yeah, pulling it backwards.

   10. JDJoey Diaz20:48

       Okay. I did that last week. That's-

   11. JRJoe Rogan20:49

       'Cause when you pull

7. 20:50 – 25:13

   Knee Replacement

   1. JRJoe Rogan20:50

      backwards, you strengthen your legs in a very different way than you do if you were pushing something forward. And most of the stuff we do, we l- you know, like with walking, you're going forward. Almost always going forward. And he's like, "It really strengthens the knees and the legs in a unique way going backwards." And I've, I've found that to be probably the best thing for my knees. And so I do it with e- uh, now, 'cause he told me he did it with every workout. So I'm trying to do it, like, basically three or four days a week now at least.

   2. JDJoey Diaz21:17

      I d- I walk backwards on the treadmill slowly.

   3. JRJoe Rogan21:18

      That's good.

   4. JDJoey Diaz21:20

      And then we go outside, we do the pull and then I just do, like, uh, knee bends to, with my heel-

   5. JRJoe Rogan21:26

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JDJoey Diaz21:26

      ... to touch the floor and we kept raising the stuff. And then I go see my buddy, Dave Biton, and he hits it, like, once a week with the laser. So my left knee, the arthritis I had, I gotta be honest with you, I don't feel it anymore.

   7. JRJoe Rogan21:40

      Really?

   8. JDJoey Diaz21:40

      I'm still gonna do the thing.

   9. JRJoe Rogan21:42

      PRP?

   10. JDJoey Diaz21:43

       The PRP. I took-

   11. JRJoe Rogan21:44

       Yeah.

   12. JDJoey Diaz21:44

       ... my initial consultation, I think, uh, I go back in two weeks and then we'll just, we'll take the blood out and we'll do all that stuff and we'll take it from there.

   13. JRJoe Rogan21:52

       I know people that have had knee replacements and it's been a game changer for them. It's really been amazing for them. And I know other guys who have had problems. You know, it's, I g- I guess it probably depends on which kind you get, which doctor you, you go to, and there's probably a lot of variables.

   14. JDJoey Diaz22:06

       It was fucking brutal.

   15. JRJoe Rogan22:07

       I can imagine.

   16. JDJoey Diaz22:09

       You know, I went to the-

   17. JRJoe Rogan22:10

       (clears throat)

   18. JDJoey Diaz22:10

       ... I went to see him and he goes, "Oh yeah, you need it on the right one." You know, because before, the pandemic started on the 16th they shut everything down, in March. I went to the doctor on the 9th and he shot me with the gel and he goes, "This'll last for a year." But the house I moved into in Jersey has stairs so it accelerated the fucking, uh-

   19. JRJoe Rogan22:30

       Deterioration.

   20. JDJoey Diaz22:30

       ... deterioration quickly.

   21. JRJoe Rogan22:32

       Yeah.

   22. JDJoey Diaz22:32

       You know, unloading the truck and all that shit. So I went to get it, but I remember I went, he, I went on, like, on a Thursday and he goes, "You're having surgery in two weeks."

   23. JRJoe Rogan22:41

       For real?

   24. JDJoey Diaz22:41

       Like, that's how fast it was. So he goes, "Saturday you gotta go to Brick and do the, the pre-whatever the fuck." And I remember going down there and I'm like, "I'm not gonna do this shit." Everybody had their mask on, you know, there was, the fucking place was packed. I already did the lung X-ray and the EKG. All I needed was a blood test. And dog, I was ready to walk out of there. And some dude walked in there, 20 years younger than me, with a fucking...

   25. JRJoe Rogan23:10

       With a walker?

   26. JDJoey Diaz23:11

       With a walker. And this motherfucker, it didn't end there. This motherfucker walked up to the nurse and he goes, "How you doing? My name is Charlie Brown." Whatever. And she goes, "Hold on one second, I'm on the phone." He turned this stroller around, it was a fucking cooler. He took a beer out and he sat on the cooler-

   27. JRJoe Rogan23:28

       (laughs)

   28. JDJoey Diaz23:28

       ... (laughs) and he started drinking all the beer while the receptionist was fucking on the ph- and I'm like, "I don't wanna be that dude."

   29. JRJoe Rogan23:35

       Yeah.

   30. JDJoey Diaz23:35

       Like, he can't walk. Like, you could see-
8. 25:13 – 26:15

   Recovery

   1. JRJoe Rogan25:13

      if you're, uh, an addict? Like, if you're a person in recovery and you're not supposed to get high and you're going to get surgery? I mean, what the fuck do you do?

   2. JDJoey Diaz25:22

      I had a friend that did that.

   3. JRJoe Rogan25:23

      Really? What did he do, just take it?

   4. JDJoey Diaz25:25

      He had to do something completely different, like...

   5. JRJoe Rogan25:27

      What did he do?

   6. JDJoey Diaz25:28

      They have all these herbal alternatives and shit. (puffing sound)

   7. JRJoe Rogan25:31

      Get the fuck outta here.

   8. JDJoey Diaz25:31

      You know. Yeah, it ain't gonna work, you know, but you could try 'em. You know, you gotta remember, I lived in Boulder where all those motherfucking granola people-

   9. JRJoe Rogan25:39

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JDJoey Diaz25:40

       ... are like, you know-

   11. JRJoe Rogan25:40

       Yeah.

   12. JDJoey Diaz25:41

       ... "No, I'm gonna have..." And dog, the, the, the birthing center in Boulder was across the street from the hospital for a reason, 'cause those bitches would fold weekly. Those women would go in there, "Yes, you know, I go to yoga. I'm spiritual. I just wanna have the kid fucking naturally and within..." It was right across the street from the hospital for a reason. If you go to Boulder right now the hospital is like 10, two minutes from the birthing center because they tap out.

   13. JRJoe Rogan26:07

       (laughs)

   14. JDJoey Diaz26:08

       They get there with their sandals, the long hair under their armpits.

   15. JRJoe Rogan26:11

       Ugh.

   16. JDJoey Diaz26:11

       "I'm tough." No, you're not tough. That's fucking pain, okay?

   17. JRJoe Rogan26:14

       You imagine

9. 26:15 – 27:35

   Birth

   1. JRJoe Rogan26:15

      that women did that for all of human history until they figured out-

   2. JDJoey Diaz26:19

      It's, it's brutal.

   3. JRJoe Rogan26:19

      Like, I mean, what did they do when they were back in the day? Do you think they got them drunk? Do they give 'em booze when they were d... I mean, what did they do when they're screaming in agony? Just nothing? Just let them just handle it?

   4. JDJoey Diaz26:30

      Well, what about when somebody has a kid in the car, like a taxi-

   5. JRJoe Rogan26:33

      Oh.

   6. JDJoey Diaz26:33

      ... or a cop has to deliver it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan26:34

      Yeah.

   8. JDJoey Diaz26:34

      There's no drugs or alcohol then.

   9. JRJoe Rogan26:35

      There's no drugs. No, you just have to have the kid.

   10. JDJoey Diaz26:38

       It was just a kid.

   11. JRJoe Rogan26:40

       That's so crazy. People still to this day, like, wanna do it in the tub. There's, like, a lot of people that choose to do it. They get a doula, they get a, like, a midwife who helps 'em and they have a baby in the tub. It's wild shit.

   12. JDJoey Diaz26:52

       It's wild.

   13. JRJoe Rogan26:55

       (laughs) That's a tough woman, man. To, to be able to go through that, like, I know I've had some painful surgeries, knee surgeries and stuff, but, uh, that is nothing compared to a baby coming out of your vagina. I mean, get the fuck (laughs) outta here. A baby's so big. A baby is so big. You know, a baby coming out of your vagina is just s- what a crazy design that nature figured out. Like, it's the... And, you know, the thing about people as opposed to all the other primates is that when we come out, we come out and we're v- helpless. Like, monkeys are not that helpless. Like, chimps are not that helpless when they come out. They're more developed. But our heads are too big so when we come out, like, we, we need

10. 27:35 – 28:45

    Chimps

    1. JRJoe Rogan27:35

       to be taken care of for way longer. It's like, our period of development inside the womb is, like, nine months, but then you're not mobile for, like, another year or so. You know, in terms of, like, being able to walk. It takes a long ass time for you to get a little kid to walk. Chimps come out and they're pretty fucking good to go. I mean, they're, you know, they're moving around pretty quickly. We also come out with a lot of fat on us. They come out, like, ripped. They come out right out of the box, like, low fat, real strong. We're helpless when we're babies. It's just a crazy design. Thank God we don't have to give birth. Could you imagine how few people there would be if babies had to come out of guy's dicks?

    2. JDJoey Diaz28:16

       We wouldn't do it.

    3. JRJoe Rogan28:18

       (laughs)

    4. JDJoey Diaz28:18

       We wouldn't do it.

    5. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:20

       Do you know what year they first had anesthesia for that?

    6. JRJoe Rogan28:22

       (exhales) I'd say 1920.

    7. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:26

       Way older than that. Not way older, but a lot, a lot longer than that. 1846.

    8. JDJoey Diaz28:30

       Oh. Oh, wow. And what were they using?

    9. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:32

       Ether.

    10. JRJoe Rogan28:33

        Ether. The ether.

    11. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:33

        And then chloroform.

    12. JRJoe Rogan28:36

        Oh, so they put 'em out.

    13. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:37

        And then it said in the 1920s they had a mix of-

    14. JDJoey Diaz28:40

        (exhales)

    15. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:40

        ... scopolamine and morphine to make them just forget it all together. They would forget the entire

11. 28:45 – 30:05

    Anesthesia

    1. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:45

       childbirth.

    2. JRJoe Rogan28:45

       Doesn't chloroform put you out though?

    3. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:47

       I think that's what... I mean, yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan28:48

       Mm-hmm. So what do they do with... If you're having a kid you wanna be awake 'cause you gotta push.

    5. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:52

       Here's, uh, "It's hard to believe-

    6. JRJoe Rogan28:55

       Wow.

    7. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)28:55

       ... before 1846 there was nothing."

    8. JRJoe Rogan28:58

       "Y- y- uh, so it's hard to imagine as a person living in the 21st century agreeing to surgery without the hope of anesthesia, and yet prior to the discovery of ether anesthesia in 1846, all surgeries, from minor to major or absolutely radical were performed on people who were wide awake, oftentimes head down on the operating table, b- held down by men whose only job was to ignore the patient's pleas, screams and sobs so that the surgeon could do his job." Oh my god. There's some fucking horrific film scenes of surgeries where they do on people where they have to saw through bone and the guy's, like, biting down on a leather strap and screaming. And they're, they have to saw his arm off 'cause he's got gangrene. Like, yikes.

    9. JDJoey Diaz29:40

       Don't you just pass out from the pain? Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan29:42

        Some people. It depends. Some people can stay awake. You know? And, like, passing out's a weird thing. It's like some people pass out at the sight of a thing in a movie. I used to date a girl, and we were in the movies and the guy in the movie shot heroin, and then she saw the guy shoot heroin. She was like this... boom.

    11. JDJoey Diaz30:01

        Dog, I fainted when Travolta put the needle in Uma Thurman's

12. 30:05 – 31:33

    UFC

    1. JDJoey Diaz30:05

       heart.

    2. JRJoe Rogan30:06

       (laughs) In Pulp Fiction.

    3. JDJoey Diaz30:06

       Fuck yeah. And I was with a friend of mine and boldy put a Raisinet in my mouth. That's how-

    4. JRJoe Rogan30:11

       Oh.

    5. JDJoey Diaz30:11

       ... I woke up. He was goofing on me. He thought I was fucking around. I passed the fuck out.

    6. JRJoe Rogan30:15

       Oh, that's hilarious.

    7. JDJoey Diaz30:15

       I passed the fuck out-... at UFC.

    8. JRJoe Rogan30:18

       Did you?

    9. JDJoey Diaz30:19

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan30:19

        Which one?

    11. JDJoey Diaz30:20

        At the Palm.

    12. JRJoe Rogan30:21

        Which one?

    13. JDJoey Diaz30:22

        One of the early ones you took me to.

    14. JRJoe Rogan30:23

        The one that was really bloody?

    15. JDJoey Diaz30:24

        The towel.

    16. JRJoe Rogan30:25

        The towel?

    17. JDJoey Diaz30:25

        He wiped him down. Yeah, the guy just threw the towel. I'm sitting there. The towel hit the fucking... At the end, you know, at, in between rounds they wiped him down and they threw the towel and it hit right there by the, where they walk up the stairs-

    18. JRJoe Rogan30:38

        Mm-hmm.

    19. JDJoey Diaz30:38

        ... and the coaches were walking out and the coach picked it up and I saw it was dripping with blood.

    20. JRJoe Rogan30:43

        With blood.

    21. JDJoey Diaz30:43

        And I was, and I was sitting next to Ralphie May and a chick with, that was like 20 with big tits next to, like, a doctor.

    22. JRJoe Rogan30:49

        (laughs)

    23. JDJoey Diaz30:50

        I didn't know this before I passed out. When I passed out, obviously I went to her tits.

    24. JRJoe Rogan30:55

        (laughs)

    25. JDJoey Diaz30:56

        The doctor put a towel on my head and we started talking afterward and that was it. He goes, "Oh, I got a son that that happens to also."

    26. JRJoe Rogan31:02

        Oh, wow.

    27. JDJoey Diaz31:03

        So-

    28. JRJoe Rogan31:03

        So he wasn't worried about you?

    29. JDJoey Diaz31:04

        No, he was like, "That just happens."

    30. JRJoe Rogan31:05

        That's good. That way he didn't have to miss fights.
13. 31:33 – 32:12

    BJ Penn

    1. JRJoe Rogan31:33

       then he got his back and choked him. And while he was choking him-

    2. JDJoey Diaz31:36

       The blood-

    3. JRJoe Rogan31:36

       ... the blood was pouring-

    4. JDJoey Diaz31:37

       Oh, my God.

    5. JRJoe Rogan31:38

       ... out of Joe's head.

    6. JDJoey Diaz31:39

       When I heard it go boom-

    7. JRJoe Rogan31:39

       See if you can find that.

    8. JDJoey Diaz31:40

       When his head-

    9. JRJoe Rogan31:40

       'Cause it's one of the most shocking, like, rear naked choke finishes ever. And this was prime BJ Penn, when BJ Penn was the motherfucker of all motherfuckers.

    10. JDJoey Diaz31:51

        2003, maybe? Nah, a little later.

    11. JRJoe Rogan31:53

        I think it was a little later. I'm trying to think of what year it was. Maybe four or five?

    12. JDJoey Diaz31:57

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan31:58

        But that was when BJ was the top of the fucking food chain. That was when Anderson Silva, when they asked him, "Who's your be- who's the best pound for pound fighter alive?" Who's the best pound for pound fighter alive? And he said, "BJ Penn." A lot of people said

14. 32:12 – 33:13

    BJ Penn was a gangster

    1. JRJoe Rogan32:12

       BJ Penn. BJ Penn went all the way up to heavyweight and fought Lyoto Machida at fucking heavyweight, Joey. He was a gangster. Like, BJ Penn fought everybody. He didn't give a fuck. He fought everybody. He didn't give a shit what weight you were in, two division world champion.

    2. JDJoey Diaz32:29

       Is that it?

    3. JRJoe Rogan32:30

       Yeah, this is it. His jiu-jitsu is off the charts. Like here it is. Like he's got his back and look, it gets hard to see because it's low res-

    4. JDJoey Diaz32:37

       And he just hit his elbow.

    5. JRJoe Rogan32:38

       But the blood is squirting out Joe Daddy's head onto BJ's elbow. And that's when, that's prime BJ Penn, man. I'm telling you. The BJ Penn of, of that era, I put him up against anybody. I would've loved to see the BJ Penn that fought Joe Stevenson against Khabib. That would've been amazing.

    6. JDJoey Diaz32:55

       Watch his, watch his right elbow when the blood drips-

    7. JRJoe Rogan32:56

       Yeah.

    8. JDJoey Diaz32:57

       ... when he chokes him.

    9. JRJoe Rogan32:58

       Yep.

    10. JDJoey Diaz32:59

        When he puts the elbow down, you see the blood squirt-

    11. JRJoe Rogan33:02

        Oh, crazy.

    12. JDJoey Diaz33:02

        ... right on BJ's elbow.

    13. JRJoe Rogan33:04

        Crazy. That BJ Penn was, uh, he was a bad motherfucker. And, you know, it's, it's interesting when you look at a, a fighter's career,

15. 33:13 – 37:17

    Mike Tyson

    1. JRJoe Rogan33:13

       sometimes people forget about the high points. They only look at the low points. They look at a fighter when they're not as good anymore or when they're not as committed anymore or maybe they have health problems. They don't look at the time when they were at their highest RPMs. That's what you gotta look at it. To me that's like Mike Tyson. Like, everybody wants to, like, look at who's the greatest heavyweight of all time. I don't think there's a greatest heavyweight of all time. I think the greatest, like, culturally significant heavyweight of all time is Muhammad Ali 'cause he was more than just a heavyweight champion. He was a guy who they denied him his ability to fight for three years 'cause he wouldn't fight in Vietnam. He stood up for a lot of people that did not want the Vietnam War. And he's also one of the greatest fighters of all time. So it's got, he's got both things going on. But Mike Tyson, in his prime, in those years from like, what was it? Like '86, '87 to '89, '90, whatever those years were where he was just storming the gates, I, I put that Mike Tyson up against anybody who ever lived. That guy was a special fighter. The Mike Tyson that beat Marvis Frazier was a-

    2. JDJoey Diaz34:19

       Beast.

    3. JRJoe Rogan34:20

       He was a, just a juggernaut. Just you couldn't stop him. He was coming at you and he had everything. He had knowledge, he had this deep library of, of films that he would watch because his, his manager was Jim Jacobs who was this boxing historian. So Tyson would sit and watch all these great fighters. This is Mar- this is the Marvis Frazier fight. This, to me, is prime Tyson, other than winning the title at 20, which was prime too. But this is Mike Tyson when he was just at his fucking most destructive best. He just stalked people down and smashed them. And he moved so well. That was part of the thing about Tyson that people forget. It wasn't just the knockout punching. It was, he was so hard to hit, man. He was bobbing and weaving, he would... He was already short for a heavyweight but he would get low and he would come at you and look at those shots, look at how he put, puts him away. He's throwing things from his toes all the way up. He's got everything going for him. He's got deep knowledge of boxing. He's got Cus D'Amato hypnotizing him from the time... That's Jim Jacobs right there, the guy with the glasses. That's the guy who was his manager and also had this incredible boxing archive. So he had everything. He had the need because he wasn't getting any love in his life until he's 13 years old, had this horrible life. Then all of a sudden he gets adopted by one of the greatest boxing minds of all time who's also a hypnotist and takes him when he's at his most vulnerable and his mo- his mo- like, he has most, the most need, right? He's ab- like, he's on his own. And this fucking guy turns him into one of the greatest fighters the world's ever seen. The Tyson of that year, tho- those years when he was like, the Marvis Frazier years and the Larry Holmes years, he was a different, different guy. It's like a d- a different model of fighter than we had ever seen in the heavyweight division before. A fucking destroyer, man, where every fight was an execution.... and, you know, people would look at, like, later on in his life, like, look at ... This is, this is him taking Marvis out. I mean, just ferocious, destructive, accurate, precise. Everything is perfect.

    4. JDJoey Diaz36:36

       Perfect and strong.

    5. JRJoe Rogan36:37

       The technique is perfect. So strong.

    6. JDJoey Diaz36:39

       Strong.

    7. JRJoe Rogan36:39

       So he had everything going for him. He had incredible coaching. Teddy Atlas is one of his coaches. Kevin Rooney. Working with Cus D'Amato and, and then desire. He had everything. He had heart and he had just destructive power. That for those years, man, there's very few people that were ever like him.

    8. JDJoey Diaz36:59

       There're just some people in every, you know, sports-

    9. JRJoe Rogan37:03

       Yeah.

    10. JDJoey Diaz37:03

        ... music, boxing. They come along every couple of years and they just blow you away.

    11. JRJoe Rogan37:08

        They blow you away.

    12. JDJoey Diaz37:08

        And he was one of 'em. He was one of 'em.

    13. JRJoe Rogan37:10

        Julio Cesar Chavez is another one for me.

    14. JDJoey Diaz37:13

        He was one of 'em.

    15. JRJoe Rogan37:13

        Julio Cesar Chavez-

    16. JDJoey Diaz37:14

        Bernard Hopkins had something that-

    17. JRJoe Rogan37:15

        Oh, yeah.

    18. JDJoey Diaz37:16

        ... was very impressive.

    19. JRJoe Rogan37:16

        But

16. 37:17 – 38:46

    Bernard Hopkins

    1. JRJoe Rogan37:17

       Bernard Hopkins had a special thing because they took away a lot of his prime years when he went to prison. You know, Bernard Hopkins-

    2. JDJoey Diaz37:24

       For sure.

    3. JRJoe Rogan37:25

       ... is, for sure, the guy who, in our modern era, fought the latest in his life as, as ... The oldest at a world-class level. I mean, he's in his ... Deep in his 40s in a world-class level. And he ... And I think his last fight at a world-class level, I think he beat a former world champion at 50 years old, which is crazy.

    4. JDJoey Diaz37:45

       Where is he today, Bernard Hopkins?

    5. JRJoe Rogan37:46

       Bernard's working. He's doing Golden Boy Boxing. He works with Oscar De La Hoya. They promote fights. You know, so he's always got a suit and a tie on at the fights and promoting fights. And, and because he was such a craftsman and such a great defensive fighter, he did ... He's got full control of his faculties, doesn't have problems with his words, you know. That's the saddest thing ever. It's like when Ali was older and you had to see him g- have those conversations and, you know, they said, "Oh, he's got Parkinson's." Well, yeah, but he's got trauma-induced Parkinson's. You know, most likely it's ... Like, the, the idea that that's not a thing, like, that's what Freddie, um, um, Freddie Roach. Can't f- ... Why ... How can I not remember Freddie Roach's last name? Freddie Roach has that. Same thing. It's, it's Parkinson's from his long career as a boxer. And he talks about it.

    6. JDJoey Diaz38:34

       I wanted to ask you something 'cause I know you went and I ... We didn't discuss it. Tell me about The Stones. What did you think?

    7. JRJoe Rogan38:40

       Oh, my God, it was incredible.

    8. JDJoey Diaz38:41

       I could tell that you were a little blown away and I wanted to talk to you about it.

    9. JRJoe Rogan38:44

       Joey, I was blown away.

17. 38:46 – 43:01

    Mick Jagger

    1. JRJoe Rogan38:46

       Like, I could ... When I got there I couldn't ... Like, I was a weirdo. W- I couldn't talk to anybody. I just couldn't believe that it was ... I was just watching them. It's like, "Is this real?" Like, people would try to talk to me and I was just like, "Hold on." Like, "Is this real? Is that really Mick Jagger?" That's when you realize what cultural icons they are, when you see them live. First of all, we saw them live in Austin. They have this amazing racetrack, Circuit of the Americas. It's incredible. It's an incredible place to see a concert because the stage is massive. I think they told me they had 16 trucks, 15 or 16 trucks all for The Stones, and one of them was Mick Jagger's gym. The whole truck is his gym. The fucking guy works out twice a day every day. He's doing his choreographed dance routines, he's working out, he's doing cardio and lifting weights. Constantly exercises and the fucking guy is Biden's age. Biden's age. And he's, like, moving around on stage, "Button your lip, baby." I mean, he's fucking doing it. They played for an hour and a half solid, killed it. It was amazing, man. Gimme Shelter came on. There was goosebumps. Goosebumps on top of-

    2. JDJoey Diaz39:57

       It's crazy.

    3. JRJoe Rogan39:57

       ... goosebumps.

    4. JDJoey Diaz39:57

       It's really fucking crazy.

    5. JRJoe Rogan39:58

       When you see Keith Richards out there jamming and then Mick Jagger's dancing, and they got a badass band with them. I mean, they have a bunch of ... Like, they had this lady singing with Mick Jagger, who was amazing. I wish I remembered her name, but there was a bunch of other people in the band as well. Oh, my God.

    6. JDJoey Diaz40:14

       50 fucking years. Let's just talk about that.

    7. JRJoe Rogan40:16

       Yeah.

    8. JDJoey Diaz40:16

       50 years-

    9. JRJoe Rogan40:17

       More.

    10. JDJoey Diaz40:17

        ... of being next to somebody on stage and-

    11. JRJoe Rogan40:20

        More.

    12. JDJoey Diaz40:20

        ... two of them passed, whatever. More.

    13. JRJoe Rogan40:22

        Yeah.

    14. JDJoey Diaz40:22

        Whatever. Fifty fucking years. Mick Jagger is ... You know, everybody complains Mick Jagger's greedy. Well, he's the ultimate fucking professional. Whenever ... If you ever have a night that you want to watch something, just watch the Rolling Stones. Ole, ole, ole.

    15. JRJoe Rogan40:37

        Mm-hmm.

    16. JDJoey Diaz40:38

        That's when they do the South American tour and they end up in Cuba.

    17. JRJoe Rogan40:41

        Look at him.

    18. JDJoey Diaz40:42

        And, and he fucking ... Through South America-

    19. JRJoe Rogan40:45

        This is him?

    20. JDJoey Diaz40:45

        Yeah. No, this is him.

    21. JRJoe Rogan40:46

        But this is at ... This is the one that I saw.

    22. JDJoey Diaz40:48

        Oh, this was in-

    23. JRJoe Rogan40:49

        Yeah.

    24. JDJoey Diaz40:49

        ... the same night?

    25. JRJoe Rogan40:49

        This is in Austin. So is this someone's cellphone footage?

    26. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)40:53

        Uh, that's a really good cellphone. It's something, I don't know.

    27. JRJoe Rogan40:55

        I think-

    28. GUGuest (secondary, unnamed)40:56

        There's a few videos online about ... Of it.

    29. JRJoe Rogan40:57

        It looks so good. May- ... But, you know, cellphones are pretty fucking good right now.

    30. NANarrator41:01

        (rock music plays) Yeah, it's probably a cellphone.
18. 43:01 – 46:36

    Suzanne Santos

    1. JDJoey Diaz43:01

       fucking years.

    2. JRJoe Rogan43:02

       One of the nice things about living in Austin is we see a lot of music.

    3. JDJoey Diaz43:04

       Oh, I know you get great music now.

    4. JRJoe Rogan43:06

       We go see music, and I'm- I'm meeting all these new bands. There's a lot of bands out here that are fucking badass, that are just young- young guys who are just out here hustling. Suzanne Santos is out here now.

    5. JDJoey Diaz43:17

       Suzanne Santos? Oh, my-

    6. JRJoe Rogan43:18

       Yeah, Honey Hunny.

    7. JDJoey Diaz43:20

       Oh, she is?

    8. JRJoe Rogan43:20

       Yeah.

    9. JDJoey Diaz43:20

       Are they still together?

    10. JRJoe Rogan43:22

        No, they're not.

    11. JDJoey Diaz43:22

        Oh, okay. That's-

    12. JRJoe Rogan43:22

        No, she's solo now. She's solo now. He's doing his thing, she's doing her thing. But, um, she's out here now. Um, and, um, Gary Clark Jr.'s out here. So I've- I've seen them perform live a couple of times. It's amazing. It's- it's- it does- it does something for you that's different than, like, seeing comedy. Like, it's good to see comedy. It's good to see someone kill. Like, it feels good. Like, it's like gets you excited about comedy again. But there's something about music that's different 'cause, like, I don't know, I- I've n- it's magic to me. I don't know anything about playing music. I don't know anything about singing. I have no idea how to do that, but they do that. And the way they're doing it, it's like, "This is incredible." It's like they're expressing themselves in a way that is just... It's not in my wheelhouse, so I get to watch it just pure. Like, I don't even know. I'm... When their fingers are moving, I know that's what makes the noise. I don't know what the fuck's happening. I don't know shit about guitars. But I- I get to watch Gary Clark and he's like, "Goddam." Like, he just... You feel it, you feel it when he's playing the guitar. And when she's singing, she hits these fucking high notes and you're like, "God." That's a- it- that's a beautiful thing, seeing things live. It's so... Like, I always say about someone's comedy special, and they say, "Yeah, I th- I saw 'em. They're- they're special on Comedy Central. It was pretty funny." I go, "Listen, see 'em live." A special is basically just an advertisement to come see a live, because a special is, at best-

    13. JDJoey Diaz44:48

        (coughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan44:48

        ... 60 or 70% of what seeing somebody live is. You're missing everything. It's like the difference between having sex and jerking off. It's not the same. It's, you know... Seeing someone live is, it's a feeling, like you're in the moo- you're in the room with all the other people that are experiencing it together. It's not just you're seeing someone, that they're there, but it's also there's a vibe where everybody is there enjoying it. That's part of what live entertainment is. That's a thing that I really missed during COVID. I didn't realize how much I missed it until we started doing it again. I was like, "Oh, it's like now I got my vitamins again." Like you're taking your vitamin, like the vitamin of killing, the vitamin of, like, making this whole audience of people have a good time. Like, you're responsible for their- their moment, this hour and a half block of time. You're responsible for that. You gotta go out there and have a good fucking time with them. And they leave there, and they go, "That was fun. That was great." They feel good. They go to work the next day, "We had a great fucking time. Oh my God, we laughed so hard." You know, and that's how I felt.

    15. JDJoey Diaz45:58

        The best is when you go, "What did he say?" And they go, "We don't remember."

    16. JRJoe Rogan46:02

        (laughs) Right.

    17. JDJoey Diaz46:02

        "It don't fucking matter."

    18. JRJoe Rogan46:03

        Right, right.

    19. JDJoey Diaz46:04

        "It don't mat-" And that's why for years, and we discussed this ten episodes ago, I wouldn't send a tape. I refused. "We need to see a tape." "No tape."

    20. JRJoe Rogan46:13

        Yeah.

    21. JDJoey Diaz46:13

        "No tape, no tape, no tape, no tape." And in my mind, I always knew that, that for me, I always felt better when you came to see me.

    22. JRJoe Rogan46:21

        Yeah.

    23. JDJoey Diaz46:21

        I didn't like shooting the special. It was too-

    24. JRJoe Rogan46:24

        Stress.

    25. JDJoey Diaz46:24

        ... free, whatever. It wasn't for me. But live, I could always get you. You come see me live, something might happen.

    26. JRJoe Rogan46:30

        Yeah.

    27. JDJoey Diaz46:31

        In the middle, a waitress drops a bun. Some drunk chick gets up and-

    28. JRJoe Rogan46:35

        If we ever

19. 46:36 – 47:38

    Specials

    1. JRJoe Rogan46:36

       do a special with you, what we're gonna do is you're gonna do a whole week. I'm gonna film every show. That's the move. We'll do it out here when we open up. We'll film every show so that, like, you don't feel like it's a filming. Once you g- That's why I always do four. I film four shows. Like, if I can't... Like, I'll- I would never do a special at a giant place, because you can't sell enough tickets to do four shows. I wanna do it in a place where, like, a club or a- a small theater where I could do four shows, because that way you- you know it's just a show. Like, you do the first one, you feel loose, and you go, "All right, we got it in the can." And then just have a good time. And then it's just having a good time, and then decide which one you wanna be- you know, represent your special.

    2. JDJoey Diaz47:20

       I j-

    3. JRJoe Rogan47:20

       That's what we gotta do with you.

    4. JDJoey Diaz47:21

       It's just weird how when you do standup, for me, I always felt better when you came to see me.

    5. JRJoe Rogan47:29

       Oh, yeah.

    6. JDJoey Diaz47:29

       I always felt that I gave you everything I got. If you didn't like me then, okay, we'll shake hands and part friends and I'll never... But-

    7. JRJoe Rogan47:37

       But a tape-

    8. JDJoey Diaz47:37

       ... that's what happened. Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan47:37

       A

20. 47:38 – 1:11:14

    Tape

    1. JRJoe Rogan47:38

       tape's just... It's... And also-

    2. JDJoey Diaz47:39

       I want you to give me a chance.

    3. JRJoe Rogan47:39

       ... a tape when you know you're being filmed. That's the thing. It's a tape when you know you're being filmed. It's like... I always point to Bill Hicks Revelations 'cause, uh, Bill Hicks did this, uh, special in, um, in the UK, and he did it at... It was... Uh, I think they did one... They just filmed one, and it was... It just felt a little tense. Just felt like a little tense. Like, I'd seen him live, and it was amazing, but I saw that material in the special, and I was like, "It's just a little tense." Because I think, you know, you're realizing, "Okay, here it is. This is it. Go." And you have one hour to film your HBO special. I'm pretty sure that's the case. I don't think they filmed two. I might be wrong. But it just felt tense, you know. And I've done them before where I did one, just one hour, just filmed one. "Ready, go." And it's just, uh, not that good. The best way is doing, like, four. That... 'Cause then it's like a show.... you know? But live is the way. Live is the, for comedy, it's not, not, not even close. For music, it's not even close. When you go to see a band live, you know, you feel it. You know, you feel the music. You feel, you, you literally feel it in your skin. You know?

    4. JDJoey Diaz48:55

       The smells.

    5. JRJoe Rogan48:56

       Yeah.

    6. JDJoey Diaz48:56

       The odors, the fucking ... You know, I went to great concerts growing up, and I think that's what ... Because I never went to a comedy show before I got on stage.

    7. JRJoe Rogan49:05

       Really? Never? Did you get on stage at just a regular open mic night, first time? Which club?

    8. JDJoey Diaz49:11

       Comedy Works in Denver.

    9. JRJoe Rogan49:13

       Oh. Well, that's right.

    10. JDJoey Diaz49:14

        But I had ... This was my thing. All right. Let, let's just get it out on the table. Whenever I saw Pryor, uh, David ... What was the guy, comic when we were kids? David, he had like a nose. David something.

    11. JRJoe Rogan49:27

        David Brenner?

    12. JDJoey Diaz49:28

        David Brenner.

    13. JRJoe Rogan49:29

        Yeah.

    14. JDJoey Diaz49:29

        You know, those were my guys. Freddie Prinze.

    15. JRJoe Rogan49:31

        Mm-hmm.

    16. JDJoey Diaz49:31

        This is what I thought. I always thought that you just called the Comedy Works one night and go, "Hi, I'm Joe Diaz," I'm Joe Rogan, whatever. "Are you guys busy on Tuesday nights? Do you think I could come down and shoot a special?" And they're like, "Yeah, we'll have the camera ready for you." I really thought that you just walked into a comedy club and talked for an hour then you went home. That was my first introduction to comedy.

    17. JRJoe Rogan49:53

        So you didn't think they w- they wrote anything down?

    18. JDJoey Diaz49:55

        No.

    19. JRJoe Rogan49:56

        (laughs)

    20. JDJoey Diaz49:56

        I thought that they just fucking went in there and said, "Let's go."

    21. JRJoe Rogan49:59

        Well, you know why? Because you were used to being around a bunch of people that were great at telling stories.

    22. JDJoey Diaz50:03

        No. We're talking about the fourth grade. I'm hanging out with a friend of mine. I know nothing. I know about the guy named David Brenner that I see on NBC from time to time. And all of a sudden, I'm at my friend's house and we're trying to listen to The Beatles' White Album.

    23. JRJoe Rogan50:18

        Oh.

    24. JDJoey Diaz50:19

        All right? I wanted to listen to The Beatles-

    25. JRJoe Rogan50:19

        In the fourth grade?

    26. JDJoey Diaz50:20

        ... bo- White Album. Yeah. We were excited about listening to The Beatles' White Album. We go up to his house, we put the fucking first song on. His mom gives us like Kool-Aid and she goes, "I gotta go." And 10 minutes later, his brother comes out and he's a fucking junkie. And I'm not talking about a boozer, I'm talking about a heroin junkie. And he comes out of the room like, "What the fuck is going on out here?"

    27. JRJoe Rogan50:41

        (laughs)

    28. JDJoey Diaz50:42

        "What are you assholes listening to?" And we're like, "The Beatles." You know, we're all excited, like, wanna be cool. And he's like, "The Beatles? What the fuck is that shit? Take that off." And he put on a Richard Pryor album, and that's all I needed to hear. My head fucking exploded.

    29. JRJoe Rogan50:58

        Wow.

    30. JDJoey Diaz50:58

        So I knew David Brenner and I maybe knew one other guy that I can't remember what his name was. And all of a sudden, I remember I, I ... The first two Richard albums I got was the Something I Said, the, and the two with the, you know ... What's Going On Here. And the two-

Episode duration: 3:37:15