Joe Rogan Experience #1802 - Protect Our Parks 3

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comedians, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker.. His special "Shane Gillis: Live in Austin," is available via YouTube. Mark is the co-host of "Tuesdays with Stories" along with Joe List. His latest special, "Mark Normand: Out to Lunch," is available via YouTube. Ari is the host of "The Skeptic Tank." His most recent special, "Ari Shaffir: Double Negative," is available via Netflix.

Joe RoganhostShane GillisguestMark NormandguestAri Shaffirguest

Jun 27, 20244h 18mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,061 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. NANarrator
  (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. (metal music)
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (metal music)
3. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, they're back.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  They, we're, we're rolling, officially.
5. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, nice.
6. MNMark Normand
  We've done it.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Protect Our Parks.
8. NANarrator
  It's here.
9. SGShane Gillis
  Holy hell.
10. MNMark Normand
  Because we only, we have one less.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  It's time to protect our parks. So, from the time of Protect Our Parks, we officially have lost one park.
12. NANarrator
  We have lost one park.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  So we're not protecting shit. (laughs)
14. SGShane Gillis
  Ah.
15. NANarrator
  Oh for one.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  We have done zero saving of parks.
17. NANarrator
  Everyone says you have a big reach is wrong because-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Totally wrong.
19. NANarrator
  ... you have protected O for one parks.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  They did, did nothing.
21. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, not only did it, it became a, it became the opposite of a park. They built a fucking jail on it.
22. NANarrator
  And they're going to-
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Did you do it like the jail?
24. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, right?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
26. NANarrator
  I just saw signs like, "Hey, we have to tear down the rest of it too."
27. JRJoe Rogan
  But they're not jailing anybody.
28. NANarrator
  Like, fuck.
29. MNMark Normand
  Good point.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  The good thing about New York is they're letting everybody out.
15:00 – 30:00
Yikes. …
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Smith's short-lived school..." Oh, that's right, they had a school for a while, "... widely believed to be a center of Scientology called The New Village Leadership."
2. MNMark Normand
  Yikes.
3. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, Holl- so Hollywood's totally normal. Everybody there is you should definitely take their word for everything.
4. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  For everything.
6. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  They're the trendsetters.
8. ASAri Shaffir
  (sighs)
9. JRJoe Rogan
  They're the reason why I'm alive.
10. ASAri Shaffir
  What a garbage place.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Without... No, no.
12. ASAri Shaffir
  Sorry.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  What are you saying?
14. ASAri Shaffir
  I take it back. (laughs)
15. JRJoe Rogan
  The other way.
16. ASAri Shaffir
  What?
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Go the other way, what a great place.
18. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
19. MNMark Normand
  I was told today that-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Why is it garbage?
21. ASAri Shaffir
  Hollywo-
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It's my favorite place.
23. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
24. ASAri Shaffir
  I was told today-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  I just don't feel like I'm good enough, so I had to leave.
26. MNMark Normand
  Jada, their open relationship was just for her.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Of course it was.
28. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Will Smith has attended-
30. ASAri Shaffir
  He didn't... Well, he cheated a bunch I thought and then that was like-
30:00 – 45:00
Yeah. Oh, that's what…
1. JRJoe Rogan
  of talking."
2. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah. Oh, that's what you used to do on the road. You'd go like, "Guys, the only way this works is you have to wait until I'm done and I'll say, 'Any more questions?' And then." (laughs)
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. You can't interrupt. But people are drunk.
4. SGShane Gillis
  People are drunk.
5. Yeah.
6. And the comic is too.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  They're drunk. They're having fun.
8. SGShane Gillis
  Remember that show Set List?
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
10. SGShane Gillis
  It was a fun idea but the, the suggestions weren't great.
11. They went too far.
12. It was like, "Placenta smoothie," you're like, "No, just say abortion."
13. Yeah.
14. "I've got... I'll talk about that." But this is stupid. This is like a not, not thing.
15. Yeah. Like, I don't even know what these words are.
16. Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  You're trying to be funny. It's like writers came up with the topic.
18. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, it sucks.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  It really... You want the audience to come up with a topic 'cause you'll be stunned occasionally.
20. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs) That sucks. Yeah.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  What, what you... people, a lot of people don't believe he's gay.
22. SGShane Gillis
  He's got all that semen.
23. ASAri Shaffir
  I don't believe he's gay.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  My wife doesn't believe he's gay.
25. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
26. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, he's gay.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  She's like, "There's nothing about him that seems gay."
28. SGShane Gillis
  Never seen it, never seen it.
29. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh.
30. Oh.
45:00 – 53:38
(laughs) …
1. SGShane Gillis
2. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
3. SGShane Gillis
  "No, actually, he's a go- he's a friend of mine. He's a good friend."
4. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're too honest.
5. SGShane Gillis
  But I wouldn't say G- (laughs) Joe just 'cause I'm like, "Why would you include any of that?" (laughs)
6. JRJoe Rogan
  What the fuck was that?
7. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
8. SGShane Gillis
  It's just autism.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
10. SGShane Gillis
  It's funny though for me to be calling you autistic. I was literally playing a, like, a Civil War simulator on my laptop-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
12. SGShane Gillis
  ... the whole way. (laughs)
13. ASAri Shaffir
  That's true. Get the laptop with an RPG going.
14. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
15. ASAri Shaffir
  This giant of a man.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  You play a Civil War-
17. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, dude.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  ... simulator?
19. SGShane Gillis
  Bro.
20. ASAri Shaffir
  And this thing was dense. I mean, he's got-
21. SGShane Gillis
  It's insane.
22. ASAri Shaffir
  ... he's got money being changed.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Let's be honest about anybody who's recreating the Civil War. They're not trying to recreate the same ending.
24. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, I have news.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  You want-
26. SGShane Gillis
  I love the Union.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... you want the North to win?
28. SGShane Gillis
  I love the North.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  But most people, those Civil War reenactors-
30. SGShane Gillis
  How could the South have done it? (laughs) Like, what twisted plan they had?

Episode duration: 4:18:09

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(drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast,…

Yikes. …

Yeah. Oh, that's what…

(laughs) …

Get more out of YouTube videos.