EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,006 words- 0:00 – 0:31
Meeting Dan Soder + why funny people are always “weirdos”
- NANarrator
(drum music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
- JRJoe Rogan
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) All good, Dan Soder, all good, we're up and running. What's happening, brother? How are you?
- DSDan Soder
So, Joe, what's up, Joe Rogan?
- JRJoe Rogan
Very nice to meet you officially.
- DSDan Soder
Very nice to officially meet you.
- JRJoe Rogan
I've, I've enjoyed your comedy online.
- DSDan Soder
Thanks, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's nice to, nice to see you in person.
- DSDan Soder
Friend of a friend of multiple friends.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. You're in the tight group of, of excellent people, so-
- DSDan Soder
Yeah, thanks.
- JRJoe Rogan
... you're respected.
- 0:31 – 2:13
Joke theft fears, writing difficulty, and the pain of seeing a perfect bit
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. I got, I got a lot of funny friends that are also fucking weirdos.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Yeah. Well, I don't know a funny one that's not a weirdo.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. Show me someone that's funny, and they're not gonna be, you know-
- JRJoe Rogan
Who-
- DSDan Soder
They can be, they can be quiet, but they're weird.
- JRJoe Rogan
Everyone who tells jokes for a living is fucking weird.
- DSDan Soder
Psychos and phonies.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. (laughs)
- DSDan Soder
I said that to Santino. We're all either psychos or phonies.
- JRJoe Rogan
Is there any phonies that are good, though?
- DSDan Soder
They get found out.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, but they're only psychos then.
- DSDan Soder
Here, here's the thing. No, the phonies, they can trick you for a little. It's got-
- JRJoe Rogan
Hm.
- DSDan Soder
... 'cause you gotta have a little sweetness in it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- DSDan Soder
And then they, then they, like, whip it into... You know what it is? It's a Oz.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- DSDan Soder
The phonies are Oz.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, okay.
- DSDan Soder
They have, like, the big booming voice, and everyone's like, "Oh."
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- DSDan Soder
And then there's just a guy behind a curtain and you're like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- DSDan Soder
... "the fuck?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, the phonie- the scary for the phonies must be when they get caught stealing jokes, 'cause then they have to write all their own jokes afterwards and they don't really know how to do that.
- DSDan Soder
That's hard.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the hardest.
- DSDan Soder
To writing jokes?
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the hardest. Coming up with premises, fleshing them out, trying to figure out the right way to do them.
- 2:13 – 6:08
Workplace microchips to Klaus Schwab: “real-life supervillain” energy
- JRJoe Rogan
There was a fucking company in Europe that was chipping their employees, and for normal shit, like getting into a door and, like, buying something in the commissary.
- DSDan Soder
But that European attitude, they're like, "Us? It's fine."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- DSDan Soder
"I just chip, I just chip in if the door opens."
- JRJoe Rogan
"If the door opens, it's no problem."
- DSDan Soder
"And ever since I go get my little espresso and I come outside, I'm chipped. Yeah, I don't..." It's always that European attitude that makes me feel like, are we as Americans overly paranoid-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, that's-
- DSDan Soder
... or are we right?
- JRJoe Rogan
That's why I like when that Klaus Schwab guy talks.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Who's the-
- DSDan Soder
I don't even know who that is. You could've made that name up.
- JRJoe Rogan
You don't know who that guy is?
- DSDan Soder
That sounds like a made-up name.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's... Oh, my God. He's the head of the World Economic Forum, and he dresses like a bad guy in a comic book.
- DSDan Soder
Hell yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I'm not kidding. I mean-
- DSDan Soder
If you have that... I'm telling you, if you're that kind of power, do that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Why not?
- DSDan Soder
Do that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
Honestly, I think-
- JRJoe Rogan
Relax.
- DSDan Soder
... I think you should lean into, like, you should start advertising yourself as, like, a Bond villain.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
Think about it, dude. You got the, you got the compound in Texas. You know karate.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
You're already a Bond villain, dude. And then you just, then you can just sit in a chair and be like, "Jamie, pull it up. The world must pay me." Do it, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
You could do it.
- 6:08 – 6:45
Institutions vs. random websites: how misinformation spreads fast
- JRJoe Rogan
That's the problem. It's like, as much as we complain about, like, the New York Times and The Washington Post, imagine if all of your news just came from websites.
- DSDan Soder
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Look at it the other way. Look at it the other way.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. If it was all-
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, if-
- DSDan Soder
It's all a thing that someone could build in a day.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right. Yeah. Like-
- DSDan Soder
Like, The New York Times, you can hate them what they are, but that is an institution.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- DSDan Soder
You know what... They have offices.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- DSDan Soder
They have a payroll. They have a history.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- DSDan Soder
You can just have a website drop a picture of Klaus Schwab-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
... in a, in a thong with a gray. And it's gonna be like, (laughs) "Where did this come from?" And, but then the internet, the internet does what the internet does best, and they take something and run with it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- DSDan Soder
And so then it would just be on.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah.
- 6:45 – 8:18
Mike Tyson plane incident + the myth of “registered lethal hands”
- DSDan Soder
There's gonna be conspiracy theories about why Mike Tyson lit that dude up on that plane.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's-
- DSDan Soder
You know what I mean?
- JRJoe Rogan
... real simple. That dude was a douchebag. And he was, uh-
- DSDan Soder
Did you see the other video?
- JRJoe Rogan
... he was annoying one of the baddest motherfuckers that, that's ever walked the face of the Earth.
- DSDan Soder
Talk about kicking a beehive.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
What the fuck are you doing, dude?
- JRJoe Rogan
That's so dumb. That's not even kicking a beehive. It's like smashing... It's headbutting a beehive.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. It's like trying to put your dick in a sleeping bear's mouth.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bzz. (laughs)
- DSDan Soder
Like, he just walked up and was like, "I'm gonna lower my wiener right into the bear's mouth." Mike Tyson, also there's a video that came out of the angle of him talking to someone. And he's, like, talking shit in a way where you're like, "This guy's hammered and doesn't know what's coming."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
'Cause I bet in his head he's like, "He won't punch me. He can't punch me."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my God.
- DSDan Soder
He's, I bet he's a guy that thinks Mike Tyson's hands are registered lethal weapons.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
It strikes me as that guy.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
He's like... And he, by the way, I saw the guy's shape and I was like, "That guy would kick the shit out of me."
- JRJoe Rogan
That was a thing that people would always say, right?
- DSDan Soder
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That he had to register his hands as deadly weapons.
- DSDan Soder
I think I said it.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
I've spread that around. I've been putting out that propaganda. Be like, "You know they have to register their hands as d-," look, "lethal weap-" I'm that, that's my level of dumb-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
... where you tell me that and I'm like, "I knew that was true." I wonder if it's a state thing or a federal thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh. (laughs)
- 8:18 – 16:28
Affliction MMA nostalgia and the legend of Fedor (the “sloppy king”)
- DSDan Soder
Was UFC when dudes would just rock Affliction shirts.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah, man.
- DSDan Soder
And I lived in-
- JRJoe Rogan
With the silver foil writing.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. I lived in Tucson in the early 2000s and you'd just see big dudes in Affliction shirts. And here's the thing, I'm not gonna test that theory.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was the style.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. And they had, like, super gelled up hair.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. (laughs)
- DSDan Soder
And they're just mean mugging everyone.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
I was rocking Liquor Tee Shirts and shitty dungarees. I was like, "Dude, I ain't gotta see if this guy knows how to fight or not. I don't give a fuck."
- JRJoe Rogan
Eh, those are the early days. That's when things were wild. It's, Affliction had their own promotion.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah, I remember that. They got F- Fedor, didn't they?
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
I remember that. I worked at, um, K-Rock in New York when Stern left. They, like, turned it to Free FM and then they brought it back, K-Rock with Opie and Anthony.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- DSDan Soder
And I was doing, like, overnights. And I bought, I somehow got that Affliction fight on the TV in the old A-, O&A studio. And that felt like, I was like, "Dude, this is, uh, this is better than working. I'm not, I'm getting paid to watch this Fedor fight." I mean, it was a quick fight, but.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. He fought over there a couple times, right? He fought Tim Sylvia.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I think he fought Andrei Arlovski over there too.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. He was fun. He was a-
- JRJoe Rogan
Was it, was that Affliction? Were they both Affliction?
- DSDan Soder
I don't know. I think, I know the Sylvia fight was Affliction.
- JRJoe Rogan
They spent a lot of fucking money, man.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
They went crazy. They, they tried to go crazy. I knew one of the owners. Shout out to Mr. Atencio. He's a cool motherfucker. They're, they're cool people.
- DSDan Soder
I, I also just had the realization that I'm talking to Joe Rogan about this.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
Like, I was, we were just having a conversation and I'm like, "I'm talking to a guy that actually knows these people." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- 16:28 – 21:07
Karate demos, breaking boards, and McDojoLife fake martial arts
- JRJoe Rogan
You ever seen those videos of dudes, like, smashing bricks with their fucking forehead?
- DSDan Soder
Oh, yeah, or tree punching videos.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, what kind of skill is it? Tree punching is one thing. It hurts your hand. It doesn't change the way you think.
- DSDan Soder
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Imagine being so dumb that you're gonna-
- DSDan Soder
I forgot it.
- JRJoe Rogan
... change the way you think on purpose.
- DSDan Soder
You go, "I went out to the woods and forgot a couple cousins 'cause I was just smashing my fucking head into a tree."
- JRJoe Rogan
This is one video of a dude t- tries, and it doesn't work, and then he tries again. And he's basically KO'd, and he's wobbling around 'cause he just headbutted some fucking marble.
- DSDan Soder
Is he doing that, like... Wait, he was doing marble?
- JRJoe Rogan
It was on some thick ass stone, whatever the fuck it was.
- DSDan Soder
Any of those break videos, again, growing up on action movies in the '80s and the '90s-... any time they showed the brick breaking scenes, I'd always be like, "Eh, that's not for me." I did all the training, but that just seems... Did you ever do that in karate? Were you breaking boards?
- JRJoe Rogan
When we would open up a new school, we would do demonstrations. And one of the things that people wanted to see was people breaking boards.
- DSDan Soder
See, I want-
- JRJoe Rogan
I broke boards.
- DSDan Soder
Did you?
- JRJoe Rogan
A lot of boards.
- DSDan Soder
Didn't-
- JRJoe Rogan
But I only broke boards during demonstrations. We never even practiced it.
- DSDan Soder
So you wouldn't just be at home with your friend and you're like, "Dude."
- JRJoe Rogan
No.
- DSDan Soder
"Pick that board up."
- JRJoe Rogan
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- DSDan Soder
And then just fucking jump off the couch and karate kick it.
- JRJoe Rogan
No. We never practiced breaking boards. We just practiced for tournaments. So, like, when we were breaking a board, it was just for fun.
- DSDan Soder
You're just like... Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You just kick it. You just kick it. Like, they break easy. They, they, they break so easy.
- DSDan Soder
(laughs) Yeah. But I'm trying to think of me. I'm trying (laughs) , trying to kick a board and just missing-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- DSDan Soder
... and being like, "Fuck."
- 21:07 – 26:23
China, traditional martial arts pride, and the Weili–Joanna war (hematoma talk)
- JRJoe Rogan
... woman named Zhang Weili.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
She's like one of... Yeah. She's former champion, one of the top, uh, women 150 pound fighters-
- DSDan Soder
One of the greatest fights I've ever seen in my life.
- JRJoe Rogan
Her and Ioanna?
- DSDan Soder
Oh, my God.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my God. It was insane.
- DSDan Soder
Oh, my God. First off, when you see Ioanna's face after the fight-
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- DSDan Soder
... you're like, "That's Photoshopped."
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a football in her head.
- DSDan Soder
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Her head was like a football was glued onto her head.
- DSDan Soder
Remember Oddities on MTV where the guy would crawl out of the brain?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah. (laughs)
- DSDan Soder
That's what it looked like. A giant head and a-
- JRJoe Rogan
Imagine if it, that lanced in the fight.
- DSDan Soder
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Imagine if Weili landed, like, an, an elbow.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah. You would've been in the splash zone.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my God.
- DSDan Soder
It would've been like a Gallagher show.
- JRJoe Rogan
He would've just dumped-
- DSDan Soder
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... out of her head.
- DSDan Soder
'Cause the way it formed up.
- JRJoe Rogan
There was so much fluid in there.
- DSDan Soder
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was crazy. Bro, that's all blood.
- DSDan Soder
(sighs)
- 26:23 – 56:02
Bombing, check spots, brutal gigs, and learning to control a room
- DSDan Soder
It's al- that's how I always felt about, like, um, whenever I've been nervous about something in comedy, there's always, you always talk to someone older and they're over it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, what kind of stages?
- DSDan Soder
Like, when I started, I, uh, I went on the road with Bobby Kelly, who's one of the best. He's like my older brother.
- JRJoe Rogan
I love Bobby.
- DSDan Soder
Bobby is one of the funniest human beings and makes me... I can call him and just laugh, like, anytime I want. But I opened for him, and Bobby's Bobby, you know, Boston tough and shit. And he's like, "You fucking, you love featuring, dude?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
"You're featuring? You having fun, huh? Doing your, your ti- your best jokes in the middle of the show? Call me when you're a headliner. Have fun with that," you know? And then I was headlining and I was in Kansas City and I was just bombing, bombing.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
And I was doing, like, Wednesday through Sunday. It's one of those long weeks. You know, uh, it might've been a Tuesday through Sunday. And it's just, like, a Thursday and I'm walking through a hot Target parking lot and I call Bobby and I'm like, "I'm fucking bombing, dude. This sucks and I'm intimidated." And he's like, "Eh, you know what? You wanted to be a headliner, huh?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
"Well, now you're a headliner and you're fucking... This is what happens." And then he told me, he's like, "It's not a big deal. It's not gonna be shit in two years. So, just walk through it." And then that confidence of him being, like, over it and being like, "Yeah, dude, whatever. You're working a week. You're gonna do this a lot the rest of your life." You're like, "Oh, fuck. All right." It just, it was a small comfort.
- JRJoe Rogan
You need those sets.
- DSDan Soder
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're, they're important.
- DSDan Soder
(sighs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Those, those sets that suck-
- DSDan Soder
The humbling ones?
- JRJoe Rogan
... they teach you things. Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
The great humblers? When you just come through and just get ear holed?
- JRJoe Rogan
(coughs) Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
It's fucking-
- JRJoe Rogan
I've have, I have some from the '90s I still think about.
- DSDan Soder
Uh, I have an open mic.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
I swear to God, Joe. I have an open mic in Tucson, Arizona at Laughs Comedy Club. I was telling my friend Jesse Campbell about this the other month when I was in Minnesota. I remember everything about the bomb. It was a three-minute open mic set and I lasted-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDan Soder
... a minute 16. (laughs) I lasted, I couldn't even-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- DSDan Soder
... fill my time. And it was all premises. I was just going up there being like, "You guys, uh, you ever go on, uh, a d- a date?" (sighs) "My, my TV's busted." And it's just like I was just-
- JRJoe Rogan
How many times had you done an open mic before that?
- 56:02 – 1:19:40
Is comedy peaking or crashing? Podcasting, doom-and-gloom, therapy, and COVID lessons
- JRJoe Rogan
But that was the thing in the '90s, and the, the guys that are coming up today, they don't have that attitude anymore. Everybody does everybody's podcast, so it's-
- DSDan Soder
Everyone's like, "Hey-"
- JRJoe Rogan
... it's way healthier.
- DSDan Soder
... "Hey, check this guy out."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
"I really care about him." Well, that's what's interesting. I, I love talking to, like, um, guys that have been around because history repeats itself. And you've been in comedy where you've watched the crash... The '90s, guys? People don't realize about, just about the mid-'90s, early two-, early-2000 com- comics. You guys were doing it for nobody. No one gave a fuck about comedy.
- JRJoe Rogan
They did in certain places.
- DSDan Soder
But you look at the store. You look at The Cellar. Louis put up this old video of him at The Cellar from, like, 2001. There's no one there. There's, like, 15 people, and they're just running a show all night being like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- DSDan Soder
"Whoever comes in, they stay until they wanna leave. We put up as many comics as we can."
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- DSDan Soder
And now they're like, "Good luck getting a reservation two weeks before." That's like a, it's like a-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDan Soder
... hot ticket. So I try to tell my friends. I'm like, "Guys, just be aware that that might be coming back." There might be a, we might have reached a point in comedy, and I think-
- JRJoe Rogan
No.
- DSDan Soder
You don't think that's-
- JRJoe Rogan
No.
- DSDan Soder
You don't think that?
- JRJoe Rogan
Not even-
- DSDan Soder
You think it's-
- JRJoe Rogan
... close.
- DSDan Soder
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
The opposite. It's the opposite. It's the mo-
- DSDan Soder
You think it's still going up?
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the most fun thing to go see.
- DSDan Soder
It is very fun to go see.
- JRJoe Rogan
And it's live. It's one of the rare live things.
- DSDan Soder
But you don't think podcasting, specifically podcasting, started showing people, too many people how the sausage is made?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, fuck the sausage.
- DSDan Soder
(laughs)
Episode duration: 3:22:30
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