Joe Rogan Experience #1811 - Brendan Schaub

Narrator 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (energetic music)

Brendan Schaub 0:12 It's tough to keep up that NFT shit. Yeah. I bet Jai-

Joe Rogan 0:16 Are we up?

Brendan Schaub 0:17 I bet Jamie's into it.

Joe Rogan 0:18 We're up and running.

Brendan Schaub 0:18 Jamie's into it.

Joe Rogan 0:20 Jamie, uh, is aware, but you're not investing. You've got like a few weird ones.

Brendan Schaub 0:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:26 You got more?

Narrator 0:27 I have one of the big ones.

Joe Rogan 0:29 What you got?

Narrator 0:30 I have a mutant ape.

Joe Rogan 0:33 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 0:33 (laughs)

Narrator 0:33 Not the biggest.

Joe Rogan 0:34 Like he says-

Narrator 0:34 I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna, like, put out there it's the biggest, but.

Joe Rogan 0:36 ... one of the big ones. Okay, how is that a big one? Oh, by the way, this vodka, or excuse me, this whiskey you have, this, uh, tig- what is it?

Brendan Schaub 0:44 Tiger Thick.

Joe Rogan 0:45 Tiger Thick. It's very good.

Brendan Schaub 0:47 Thank you, brother.

Joe Rogan 0:47 I was surprised.

Brendan Schaub 0:48 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 0:48 I was ready for some bullshit last night.

Narrator 0:50 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 0:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:50 When you busted it out, I was like... Because I got offered... There was a thing that was going on with me. Salud, brother.

Brendan Schaub 0:57 Cheers, brother.

Joe Rogan 0:58 Very good to see you.

Brendan Schaub 0:58 Love you, man.

Joe Rogan 0:58 I love you too.

Brendan Schaub 0:59 Yeah. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 0:59 Great to see you. Mm. But, uh, I- I've been... You know, people have, like, sent me stuff.

Brendan Schaub 1:06 For sure.

Joe Rogan 1:06 Like, "Try this out. Would you like to get involved?" I'm like, "Whoa, I don't know. It's... I don't think this is good enough." This is good. This is legit. It's like it tastes aged. It tastes like what-

Brendan Schaub 1:15 Which it is.

Joe Rogan 1:16 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 1:17 Yeah. 10 years, Japanese aged whiskey. It's the first blend of Japanese whiskey, American bourbon.

Joe Rogan 1:23 Whis-

Brendan Schaub 1:23 It took three years. Just to get the licenses from the, the alcohol companies in the United States was such a beast.

Joe Rogan 1:30 Mm.

Brendan Schaub 1:30 And then you're talking about years of trial and error, trying what I like, what I don't.

Joe Rogan 1:33 It-

Brendan Schaub 1:33 It was fun though, man.

Joe Rogan 1:34 You nailed it though.

Brendan Schaub 1:35 Thanks, brother.

Joe Rogan 1:35 It's very good. It's-

Brendan Schaub 1:36 Smooth.

Joe Rogan 1:37 It's d- it's smooth, but it's different.

Brendan Schaub 1:38 Yes, sir.

Joe Rogan 1:39 It's like, uh, it's a d- it's a different taste.

Brendan Schaub 1:41 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:41 If you're... I mean, I'm not a... I'm not like a whiskey wizard. I don't really under... Like, Barnett is. Barnett knows a lot about whiskey.

Brendan Schaub 1:48 Dude, he took a sip of it, and I was like, "Jesus Christ." He's like, "There's caramel."

Joe Rogan 1:52 Ah! (laughs) It's one of those guys.

Brendan Schaub 1:55 There's... And you can taste it. I'm like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 1:55 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 1:56 "What? Excuse me? Caramel?"

Joe Rogan 1:59 Uh, did I ever tell you the time I went on a fucking wine tasting dinner with my, uh, my friend Matt?

Brendan Schaub 2:03 No.

Joe Rogan 2:04 My friend Matt's a, like, a legit wine connoisseur. So much so that he w- he had a birthday, and on his, on his birthday, he had this wine tasting dinner, and you would get like a flight of wines with each plate. So it was like a fancy restaurant, so they bring like a little tiny little piece of something.

Brendan Schaub 2:21 Mm-hmm. I've done, like, Napa.

Joe Rogan 2:22 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 2:22 You're trying to-

Joe Rogan 2:23 It's not my thing, man.

Brendan Schaub 2:25 I can't believe you went to that.

Joe Rogan 2:25 It's not my thing. Yeah, my friend, it was his birthday.

Brendan Schaub 2:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:28 I love him to death. So anyway, I wind up, uh, meeting this guy there, and then years later, I'm watching this documentary about this guy that ripped off all these wine connoisseurs by taking cheap wine and blending it up and putting it in fake old bottles, and that was the guy I met at the fucking wine party.

Brendan Schaub 2:49 Was it really?

Joe Rogan 2:50 Yes.

Brendan Schaub 2:50 Yeah, and they were, and they were, they couldn't tell the difference. They're saying the same shit with the cheap wine-

Joe Rogan 2:54 Exactly.

Brendan Schaub 2:54 ... and the fancy wine.

Joe Rogan 2:55 The way this guy fucked up is... It's g- the movie's called Sour Grapes, and the way the guy fucked up is he ripped off one of the Koch brothers.

Brendan Schaub 3:02 Mm.

Joe Rogan 3:03 Which is, like, (laughs) not a smart move.

Brendan Schaub 3:05 Bro. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:05 Those guys got some-

Brendan Schaub 3:06 They have all the money in the world.

Joe Rogan 3:06 They got some capital.

Brendan Schaub 3:07 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:08 And they know how to move, and-

Brendan Schaub 3:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:11 ... he, this guy had bought like, I think it was like more than $1 million worth of fake wine from them.

Brendan Schaub 3:15 (laughs) Hilarious.

Joe Rogan 3:16 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 3:16 Brian's, Brian Callan's the same way. He loves wine.

Joe Rogan 3:19 But does he know it? Does he understand?

Brendan Schaub 3:20 He really does.

Joe Rogan 3:21 Does he?

Brendan Schaub 3:22 Don't get me wrong, he says a lot of bullshit to make us laugh, but when it comes to wine, he knows it. And when I first started hanging out with Brian, what was this, 10 years ago around LA, you know, it'd be him and... He'd like, you know, he, he hangs around smart people, and I, I'd, I would feel so stupid when I'd hang out with him, but I'd watch him try wine, and I'd pick up on things they would say. I'm like, "Oh, I'm gonna use that next time."

Joe Rogan 3:40 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 3:40 And so... (laughs) Dude, dude, we're at, we're at Scopa Italian Roots in LA, and there's like all these fancy people, and they hand me the wine, and you know, I'm swirling, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just copying how they swirl it. I take a sip, I go, "That's earthy. That is earthy."

Joe Rogan 3:55 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 3:55 And it worked. They're like, "It is earthy."

Joe Rogan 3:57 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 3:57 I was like, "Oh my God, you guys are fucking-"

Narrator 3:59 Darts.

Brendan Schaub 4:00 "... out of control."

Joe Rogan 4:01 Earthy.

Brendan Schaub 4:01 That's my go-to, earthy.

Joe Rogan 4:03 I like wine that tastes good. I really can't put a li- I've been drinking wine for decades. I don't know what's going on. I just go, "Oh, this is-"

Brendan Schaub 4:10 You know what you like.

Joe Rogan 4:11 "... I like this. This is good."

Brendan Schaub 4:12 But to say... This is funny with the whiskey. It's crazy I have my own whiskey now. I didn't drink my entire life, dude. Being an athlete, doing... Never. Nothing. Drugs, didn't touch it. College football, didn't, didn't fucking touch it. And then, uh, (laughs) I don't know if you remember this. I was getting ready to do a set-

Joe Rogan 4:29 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 4:29 ... at the Comedy Store.

Joe Rogan 4:30 I remember.

Brendan Schaub 4:30 And I was so nervous, and we're... I was in the back bar, and you come in, "What are you doing?" I was like, "I'm f-" You know, I got... I think I had to follow up with fucking Joey Diaz. I get like the worst, you know, uh, spot, and I was so nervous, and you're like, "D- dude, take a shot. You're putting too much pressure. Take five..." I'm like, "Dude, I don't drink." They're like, "Just take a shot." It was like Jack, you know, nothing great.

Joe Rogan 4:47 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 4:47 And then I took it, and I was like, "All right, that's good. I, I enjoyed that." And I go out there, had a, like, my best set ever for me at the time. And then, you know, I believe in superstition, so then I was like, "I'm just gonna keep doing this." Next thing you know, you know, I got a bomb.

Joe Rogan 5:00 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 5:01 (laughs) I get my own whiskey now. I drink every night. During the pandemic, I had a legit problem, 'cause I got so into Yellowstone.

Joe Rogan 5:07 A lot of people did. Oh, yeah.

Brendan Schaub 5:08 I got so... Dude, bro.

Joe Rogan 5:10 I'm on season two.

Brendan Schaub 5:11 Oh.

Joe Rogan 5:11 I just got in.

Brendan Schaub 5:12 Oh. Dude, and Rip, dude, I got so into it. Ev- dude, me and my girl, every night, would binge-watch that. I'd put on a cowboy hat.

Joe Rogan 5:21 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 5:21 I would go through a bottle of whiskey a night.

Joe Rogan 5:25 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 5:26 (laughs) I mean, dude.

Joe Rogan 5:28 I'm surprised you didn't just start looking at land in Montana.

Brendan Schaub 5:30 I did.

Joe Rogan 5:31 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 5:32 And I... (laughs) And we go on vacation there now because of that show. It's funny-

Joe Rogan 5:36 I wonder how many fucking people moved to Montana because of that show. It's not a small number.

Brendan Schaub 5:40 And I bet people in Montana are like, "Goddamn it."

Joe Rogan 5:42 Oh, 100%.

Brendan Schaub 5:43 "You've ruined it. You've ruined it for us."

Joe Rogan 5:44 Yeah, they're particularly, um, proud of Montana. Like, Montana people are particularly proud, and also, like, they claim Montana. "This is our state." I remember I went hunting there once, and this guy wrote on someone's car...... something, like, in the dirt of someone's car, like someone had, like, foreign plates. Foreign meaning another state.

Brendan Schaub 6:05 (laughs) Foreign. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:06 And, uh, a guy wrote, you know, like, "Fuck off, from someone Montana born and raised."

Brendan Schaub 6:11 All right, dude.

Joe Rogan 6:12 Like, just because the guy had a plate.

Brendan Schaub 6:14 Bro, I've never gotten so much hate. Uh, when I was, uh... Where was I? I was in Spokan- Spokane, but I stayed in Coeur d'Alene.

Joe Rogan 6:21 Oh, you crossed the line.

Brendan Schaub 6:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:23 You went over to Idaho.

Brendan Schaub 6:24 Went- went to Coeur d'Alene, which is like, you know, I don't know, an hour. And Coeur d'Alene, if you've ever been there, is gorgeous.

Joe Rogan 6:28 Gorgeous.

Brendan Schaub 6:28 Like the Kardashians have vacations out there.

Joe Rogan 6:29 They didn't like it?

Brendan Schaub 6:30 Dude, it's um, an amazing place. During the height of the pandemic, out there they didn't give a fuck. There was nothing, no masks, nothing.

Joe Rogan 6:39 No, that's Idaho people.

Brendan Schaub 6:40 Dude, they didn't give a fuck.

Joe Rogan 6:41 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 6:41 But I go back on my show the following week and I was talking about Coeur d'Alene, how great it is. We've never got so many hate emails from people that live in Coeur d'Alene, like, "Hey, bitch, don't be telling everybody, man. We don't want-

Joe Rogan 6:53 Oh.

Brendan Schaub 6:53 ... all you guys here."

Joe Rogan 6:54 Too late.

Brendan Schaub 6:55 Like, li- li- like, "Leave the place like this."

Joe Rogan 6:57 Talk about wrong reaction, 'cause now you're talking about it here.

Brendan Schaub 7:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:00 Now more people can hear.

Brendan Schaub 7:01 Yeah, now I'm getting even more hate from Coeur d'Alene.

Joe Rogan 7:04 Just don't read it.

Brendan Schaub 7:04 But also be cool, Coeur d'Alene.

Joe Rogan 7:06 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 7:06 You know what I'm saying? Be, be cool.

Joe Rogan 7:07 It's a big commitment to move somewhere, Coeur d'Alene. It's not like there's industry there.

Brendan Schaub 7:11 No.

Joe Rogan 7:11 No one's gonna move there.

Brendan Schaub 7:12 No, come on, be cool, man.

Joe Rogan 7:13 Yeah, people move, th- they like... Some people live there already, and then some people buy houses there like for vacations and shit, or if they wanna escape the law.

Brendan Schaub 7:20 Uh, and I love it, man.

Joe Rogan 7:21 Yeah?

Brendan Schaub 7:22 I feel... Mon- dude, Montana, you can... Hawaii can keep it.

Joe Rogan 7:25 Really?

Brendan Schaub 7:25 Mexico can suck it.

Joe Rogan 7:27 Really?

Brendan Schaub 7:27 It's fucking Montana, dude.

Joe Rogan 7:29 Really?

Brendan Schaub 7:30 Oh.

Joe Rogan 7:30 In Idaho?

Brendan Schaub 7:30 Oh, dude, you get on one of those... Uh, really, my... I love, I love Coeur d'Alene, but as far as like taking my family on vacation-

Joe Rogan 7:36 Yeah?

Brendan Schaub 7:36 ... we go to like a dude ranch, we're riding horses.

Joe Rogan 7:38 Wow.

Brendan Schaub 7:38 My son's doing archery and shit.

Joe Rogan 7:40 Oh.

Brendan Schaub 7:40 I mean, biking every morning.

Joe Rogan 7:42 Wow.

Brendan Schaub 7:42 It's great.

Joe Rogan 7:43 We went on a white water, uh, rafting trip in, uh, Montana. It was fucking fun.

Brendan Schaub 7:48 It's the best.

Joe Rogan 7:49 Yeah, like you're on this raft and it's like wild shit, man. You, you get into some wild waters and you gotta hang on. You're getting sprayed and you're, you're bouncing off these fucking rocks with these inner tubes.

Brendan Schaub 7:59 And your kids are with you, so you're thinking-

Joe Rogan 8:01 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 8:01 ... about that. I did the same thing with my kids.

Joe Rogan 8:02 Yeah, everybody's like-

Brendan Schaub 8:03 So stressed.

Joe Rogan 8:04 ... wearing vests and everything like that, but I'm worried about bears more than anything. I worry about bears.

Brendan Schaub 8:08 My thing was y- there's a ton of bears.

Joe Rogan 8:10 And water.

Brendan Schaub 8:10 There's grizzly bears, right?

Joe Rogan 8:11 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 8:12 Yeah, up there. But the thing was, for us, they would come around on a... 'Cause you have your own... It's not like a hotel, you're in your own little cabin.

Joe Rogan 8:18 Right.

Brendan Schaub 8:18 And it's f- it's in the middle of nowhere, dude.

Joe Rogan 8:20 Nowhere.

Brendan Schaub 8:21 It... Dude, they knocked on the door like, "Okay, just wanna let you know there's a, a giant male moose on the property, okay? So just stay inside, but if you are gonna go out, just want you aware." I'm like, "The fuck? Male moose?" Dude, I... You hunt and shit, so maybe you've seen one. I've never seen one in person.

Joe Rogan 8:37 Yeah, they're Jurassic.

Brendan Schaub 8:38 So I called, I said, "Hey, this might be a weird request. My kids, they're dying to see it. Can we... Will you... Will someone pick us up and try and find this thing?" They're like, "Yeah, sure." They pick us up, so it's me and my two boys and my girl, and my father-in-law, and we're going around. And then the lights hit this fucking thing. Dude, it's i- ten foot tall from the fucking hoof to the horn.

Joe Rogan 8:58 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 8:59 It was nuts, man.

Joe Rogan 9:00 They're so big.

Brendan Schaub 9:01 I'm like, "That's a fucking moose?"

Joe Rogan 9:03 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 9:04 Like, "Yeah, daddy."

Joe Rogan 9:05 They're so big. They're so big. And they're one of the rare deer species that will fuck you up.

Brendan Schaub 9:11 That's what they... The guy was like-

Joe Rogan 9:12 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 9:12 ... "Oh, they're so aggressive." He was like-

Joe Rogan 9:13 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 9:14 ... "We wouldn't warn you if this was an issue." Like, it... Depending like on mating season or whatever-

Joe Rogan 9:18 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 9:18 ... whatever else is going on in the property. Like obviously we can't control if they fucking stumble on the property, but if it's, you know, mate- depend on what's going on, they can be uber aggress- aggressive.

Joe Rogan 9:27 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 9:28 Like, it'd be a problem.

Joe Rogan 9:28 It's very rare that elk are aggressive, but moose are very aggressive, like all the time. I guess it's just like the harsh climate that they live in. I mean, they live almost ex- wherever moose are, I think grizzly bears are. Well, that's not true, 'cause there's moose in Utah, there's no grizzly bears in Utah. There's moose in New Hampshire. No, no bears up there, but-

Brendan Schaub 9:49 There's bears in Utah though, right?

Joe Rogan 9:51 Nah.

Brendan Schaub 9:51 There's black bears?

Joe Rogan 9:52 There's black bears, yeah.

Brendan Schaub 9:53 There's black bears in Colorado too.

Joe Rogan 9:54 There's black... Well, there's, there might be grizzly bears in Colorado.

Brendan Schaub 9:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:57 They've, they've, they, they've s- um, spotted, unsubstantiated, but my friend Adam Greentree s- spotted one. Got it on video. It was in the San Juan Mountains and there's been more than one sighting in the San Juan Mountains.

Brendan Schaub 10:08 Oh, grizzly?

Joe Rogan 10:09 Of grizzly, yeah.

Brendan Schaub 10:10 Different game.

Joe Rogan 10:10 Which makes sense because they do travel, you know. They travel and they find new territory and-

Brendan Schaub 10:15 Someone just died.

Joe Rogan 10:16 (clears throat)

Brendan Schaub 10:16 Some dude, uh, was out on his own hiking and they couldn't find him, and then they-

Joe Rogan 10:20 (exhales)

Brendan Schaub 10:20 ... they discovered it was definitely 'cause of a grizzly.

Joe Rogan 10:23 Oof.

Brendan Schaub 10:23 That couldn't be a worse, worse way to go.

Joe Rogan 10:25 What's the worst-

Brendan Schaub 10:25 Seeing the reverend and when he gets to eat-

Joe Rogan 10:27 Ugh.

Brendan Schaub 10:27 ... you know, ass first.

Joe Rogan 10:29 Ugh.

Brendan Schaub 10:29 Dude, go for my face, man. Don't eat me ass first.

Joe Rogan 10:31 They just start eating you. They don't like kill you first. That's the thing about a, a big bear like that, they just hold you down.

Brendan Schaub 10:38 (sighs) Wet nose.

Joe Rogan 10:38 Start chewing chunks out of you. At least a cat kills you.

Brendan Schaub 10:41 Yeah, right away. (chomps)

Joe Rogan 10:42 Yeah, they just get your neck and they wanna be able to... Th- they're efficient killers. Bears just start eating.

Brendan Schaub 10:48 Brutal, man.

Joe Rogan 10:49 Oof.

Brendan Schaub 10:49 Fucking brutal.

Joe Rogan 10:51 Oof.

Brendan Schaub 10:51 What are you gonna do?

Joe Rogan 10:52 Not much. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 10:54 So you're only on season two though of Yellowstone?

Joe Rogan 10:56 Yeah, only season two.

Brendan Schaub 10:57 Oh, I'm, I'm s- I'm jealous, dude.

Joe Rogan 10:58 Yeah, I just got into it.

Brendan Schaub 10:59 'Cause then you get done with that, you got season three for-

Joe Rogan 11:01 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 11:01 ... which is lit as fuck.

Joe Rogan 11:02 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 11:02 And then there's 1883, the prequel.

Joe Rogan 11:05 Oh.

Brendan Schaub 11:05 The pre-prequel.

Joe Rogan 11:07 Right.

Brendan Schaub 11:07 Same writer, Taylor Sheridan, who's the best.

Joe Rogan 11:09 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 11:09 He's the fucking man. Puts himself way too much into the episodes, whatever.

Joe Rogan 11:13 Which one is... Who was he?

Brendan Schaub 11:14 He's the main like horse guy. He's the one selling the horses.

Joe Rogan 11:18 Oh, really?

Brendan Schaub 11:18 Yeah, he's always-

Joe Rogan 11:19 Oh, interesting.

Brendan Schaub 11:19 ... on the horse, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:20 Oh, interesting.

Brendan Schaub 11:21 And he's like s- sometimes-

Joe Rogan 11:22 I've seen him rode it too.

Brendan Schaub 11:23 M- yeah. My only issue with that is sometimes it's too balls deep in the horse, which if you're like into that stuff, I bet people are like, "Oh, this is authentic."

Joe Rogan 11:31 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 11:32 But if you're not, it's like, "All right, dude. I..." The horse stopping like in the fucking sand and shit, you know.

Joe Rogan 11:37 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 11:37 And he's just so into it. But then that, that ranch-

Joe Rogan 11:40 Those horses were nuts.

Brendan Schaub 11:41 ... was it... Super nuts. What is that, uh, 6666 Ranch?

Joe Rogan 11:44 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 11:44 That's a r- that's real.

Joe Rogan 11:45 Oh, yeah?

Brendan Schaub 11:45 Like, you'll see as the season g- they start getting to-

Joe Rogan 11:47 Don't tell me anything.

Brendan Schaub 11:47 Well, I'm just saying that 6666 Ranch-

Joe Rogan 11:49 You already fucked it up.

Brendan Schaub 11:49 Not with the-

Joe Rogan 11:49 I don't know what that ranch is.

Brendan Schaub 11:50 You don't need to, but I'm saying-

Joe Rogan 11:51 But you already told me.

Brendan Schaub 11:52 But it's a real ranch. Oh.

Joe Rogan 11:53 And now I'm gonna find out about it.

Brendan Schaub 11:54 No, no, I'm just saying-

Joe Rogan 11:55 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 11:55 ... it's gonna make it even better for you 'cause that's a legit fucking ranch.

Joe Rogan 11:58 People who tell you spoilers always tell you that, "Oh, it's d- not gonna ruin it at all."

Brendan Schaub 12:01 No, it's not gonna ruin it. (laughs) Have you seen the new... Speaking of spoilers, you seen the new Batman?

Joe Rogan 12:04 Yes, I saw that. It's great. I liked it.

Brendan Schaub 12:07 ... besides, I mean, The Dark Knight's the best of all time, but to me, that, that w- I was ... Halfway through I looked at my girl, 'cause you know, like, we have kids who can't go to the movies. I looked at my girl, I go, I paused the film, I went, "Hold up. Is this not the best fucking Batman you've seen?"

Joe Rogan 12:19 It's a great Batman.

Brendan Schaub 12:20 It's so good.

Joe Rogan 12:21 I thought it was the best one, but-

Brendan Schaub 12:22 It's up there.

Joe Rogan 12:22 ... I'm s- I say that, and then I need to go, like, watch the other ones again, you know, like with fresh eyes. Like sometimes when something's good and you're watching it-

Brendan Schaub 12:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:31 ... you're like, "Oh, this is pretty good."

Brendan Schaub 12:32 Might get on the hype train.

Joe Rogan 12:33 The costumes are a little whack.

Brendan Schaub 12:34 You think? See, I thought it was more realistic.

Joe Rogan 12:36 Mm-mn.

Brendan Schaub 12:36 Like Lisa wasn't, like-

Joe Rogan 12:37 Yeah, it's more holistic.

Brendan Schaub 12:38 Like, Cat- at least Catwoman, like she owned cats.

Joe Rogan 12:41 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 12:41 She wasn't gonna be able to, like, die nine times and shit.

Joe Rogan 12:43 Like, she bare- she barely covered her face.

Brendan Schaub 12:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:45 She was too hot.

Brendan Schaub 12:46 And, and we talk- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:46 So they didn't wanna, like, cover any of her face, just like a little tiny thing across her nose.

Brendan Schaub 12:49 Which I appreciate.

Joe Rogan 12:50 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 12:51 But then also the Riddler-

Joe Rogan 12:51 And they showed the most of her face.

Brendan Schaub 12:53 The Riddler was f- scary as shit.

Joe Rogan 12:54 The Riddler was kind of silly with his glasses.

Brendan Schaub 12:55 ... Yeah. Real- see, I, I l- the Riddler to me was so creepy 'cause, you know, it's, he's like, you know, he, he like related to all the incels, and like-

Joe Rogan 13:04 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 13:04 ... this mob and like, you know, bringing 'em to the fucking stadium and shoot everybody. It's like, yeah, that could definitely happen.

Joe Rogan 13:09 The problem with all those movies is you compare them all against the Joker and the Joker movie was so fucking good and so creepy, like and, and, you know-

Brendan Schaub 13:20 The Dark Knight you're saying with, uh-

Joe Rogan 13:21 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 13:22 ... Heath Ledger?

Joe Rogan 13:23 Well, no, the, the, the recent one with, uh, Joaquin Phoenix.

Brendan Schaub 13:26 Oh, with Joaquin Phoenix?

Joe Rogan 13:27 Yeah. That Joker is so good-

Brendan Schaub 13:30 Different.

Joe Rogan 13:30 ... but it's so creepy and such a good movie. Todd Phillips just fucking nailed that movie and so did ... And Joaquin Phoenix is crazy as fuck. Like-

Brendan Schaub 13:38 He's so good in that.

Joe Rogan 13:39 He's so good. He must be insane. He must, he must be a, like an absolute insane person. There's no way he could be that good playing the same person-

Brendan Schaub 13:47 Insanely awesome.

Joe Rogan 13:47 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 13:47 He's just so good, dude.

Joe Rogan 13:48 It's so good. But the point is, like, tho- that movie's so goddamn good and the, the bad, you know, the character is so believable and they build it up so well, like it's hard to appreciate some of the ... Like you don't know the Riddler's background, just all of a sudden he's a bad guy. But if we knew as much about the Joker, like as much about the Riddler as we do the Joker, and then they had that in a Batman movie. Like if they have a new Batman movie with Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker-

Brendan Schaub 14:18 Oh.

Joe Rogan 14:19 ... that's gonna be insane.

Brendan Schaub 14:20 But did you see the new Joker? Like they, they, so they flashed him just at the very end. Spoiler alert. They s- flash, they, they, they literally just flashed him right at the end.

Joe Rogan 14:29 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 14:29 So, and it's, but it's kind of blurry, but on HBO Max there's a deleted scene.

Joe Rogan 14:34 Ooh.

Brendan Schaub 14:35 And it's him with, like the Joker for like six minutes, and dude, fuck it's good.

Joe Rogan 14:39 Oh really?

Brendan Schaub 14:40 Ooh it's good.

Joe Rogan 14:41 A deleted scene with just him and the Joker?

Brendan Schaub 14:42 Yes.

Joe Rogan 14:43 Oh.

Brendan Schaub 14:44 And it's very like, uh, Silence of the Lambs. Remember where they use Hannibal to like, Hannibal Lecter to catch the other-

Joe Rogan 14:51 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 14:51 ... fucking serial killers.

Joe Rogan 14:52 Oh.

Brendan Schaub 14:53 Batman goes to him to give him the Riddler file and is like, "I know you get off on this shit and maybe you can help me out." And who is the Joker-

Joe Rogan 14:59 And who is the Joker, who plays the Joker?

Brendan Schaub 15:00 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 15:01 Interesting.

Brendan Schaub 15:01 But it's good, man.

Joe Rogan 15:03 I like how most of the people were like people that you don't know their name.

Brendan Schaub 15:07 Yes.

Joe Rogan 15:07 You know, other than Robert Pattinson, most of the people were people you don't know. Like you don't know the Penguin's name, but he's really good.

Brendan Schaub 15:13 Colin Farrell.

Joe Rogan 15:14 That was Colin Farrell?

Brendan Schaub 15:15 How, yeah, how nuts is that?

Joe Rogan 15:16 Jesus Christ, really?

Brendan Schaub 15:17 Isn't that nuts? Couldn't tell.

Joe Rogan 15:18 G- You know what? I actually knew that.

Brendan Schaub 15:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:20 I forgot it. That's how good he is.

Brendan Schaub 15:22 Right?

Joe Rogan 15:23 Oh my God, the makeup's incredible.

Brendan Schaub 15:24 Nuts. Dude, think about the Batmobile.

Joe Rogan 15:27 Batmobile's pretty dope.

Brendan Schaub 15:28 That's a, that, the, you know what? That's the ... So I saw the Batmobile, I'm like, "Well that's a-"

Joe Rogan 15:31 Look at that.

Brendan Schaub 15:32 Nuts.

Joe Rogan 15:32 That's incredible, man. What kind of makeup did they do with him?

Brendan Schaub 15:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:37 I mean-

Brendan Schaub 15:37 Dude that, that car scene with him in that, that B- Batmobile.

Joe Rogan 15:41 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 15:41 If you look at the Batmobile, it's ac- actually the chassis of an old school Dodge Challenger.

Joe Rogan 15:46 Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 15:48 That thing's legit, dude.

Joe Rogan 15:49 Yeah, old school Dodge Challenger and then they did a bunch of like off-road shit to it.

Brendan Schaub 15:53 Buy one, dude. Fucking get one.

Joe Rogan 15:55 Seems like it was a wide thing to park.

Brendan Schaub 15:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:58 Difficult to find good spots.

Brendan Schaub 15:58 Dude, in Austin you'd be fine. LA I'd be fucked. Here? You're good, dude.

Joe Rogan 16:02 Maybe.

Brendan Schaub 16:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:03 You're good. I don't need that in my life.

Brendan Schaub 16:05 No?

Joe Rogan 16:05 Seems like a lot.

Brendan Schaub 16:06 It'd be fun.

Joe Rogan 16:07 Yeah, I got enough cars.

Brendan Schaub 16:08 You wouldn't feel like an asshole in that, would you?

Joe Rogan 16:10 I wouldn't.

Brendan Schaub 16:10 You think?

Joe Rogan 16:11 No.

Brendan Schaub 16:11 It's so loud.

Joe Rogan 16:12 Yeah, I, I feel like an asshole in my Chevelle.

Brendan Schaub 16:14 Do you? In the Chevelle?

Joe Rogan 16:15 That's why I'm like, "Wow, it's so loud." Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 16:18 It's, but it's, it, you know, the world's turning to fucking Teslas, man, and electric cars.

Joe Rogan 16:23 Yeah, but not totally. Like this is why it's fun right now to have like a muscle car, is 'cause it's like you know that these are like the l- It's like going out when you're 36 and you're still single, it's like these are the last days. You know what I mean?

Brendan Schaub 16:39 This is it, man. This is it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:42 (laughs) There it is. Wow, look at that thing.

Brendan Schaub 16:43 No, that's not it. That's not it, dude.

Joe Rogan 16:45 Who is that?

Narrator 16:45 Yeah, someone made one.

Brendan Schaub 16:47 Oh, someone made one. No, but thi- this one's actually a chassis off a fucking li- like 68 Challenger, I think.

Joe Rogan 16:52 Yeah, that one looks more like Christian Bale's Batman.

Narrator 16:54 I like the tumbler like that, like the tumbler thing or whatever.

Joe Rogan 16:57 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 16:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:58 That was dope. That was the Christian Bale one, the one with two wheels in the front. But the one that, uh, Robert Pattinson has is much more like, uh, uh-

Brendan Schaub 17:05 Realistic.

Joe Rogan 17:06 That's right there. It's right above, right above. Go above, above. Right there in the-

Narrator 17:11 Oh, it's a toy.

Brendan Schaub 17:12 It's a toy that says-

Joe Rogan 17:12 No, go next to it. Go next to it. Go next to it. No, the, the white-

Brendan Schaub 17:15 The second one in, Jamie.

Joe Rogan 17:16 Watch my finger. There, right there.

Brendan Schaub 17:17 There it is.

Joe Rogan 17:17 That. Click on that. That's what it looks like.

Brendan Schaub 17:19 That's a toy, but that's what it is.

Joe Rogan 17:20 That's what it looks like.

Brendan Schaub 17:21 That's off a old school chassis of a Dodge Ch- Challenger.

Joe Rogan 17:24 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 17:24 Or it might, might be a Dodge Charger. Either way, it's fucking-

Joe Rogan 17:26 It looks like a Charger.

Brendan Schaub 17:27 ... ridiculous. Yeah, it's so dumb.

Joe Rogan 17:28 I think it's a Charger, but it's, um ... It was cool, like the whole movie was dark and mysterious and shadowy and it was fun.

Brendan Schaub 17:36 And it was little emo.

Joe Rogan 17:37 Yeah, little emo.

Brendan Schaub 17:38 Little emo.

Joe Rogan 17:39 Yeah. But it was ... It worked. It worked. I love a good superhero movie. I'm corny.

Brendan Schaub 17:45 You like, like Avengers and shit? Like Aqua-

Joe Rogan 17:47 Love it.

Brendan Schaub 17:47 You like Aquaman?

Joe Rogan 17:48 I like it when they bring in the Hulk. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 17:50 Yeah, I like the Hulk. I'll give them the Hulk.

Joe Rogan 17:51 (laughs) I didn't watch Aquaman because I'm not, I'm not watching any movie with Amber Heard in it. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 17:57 (laughs) I'll tell you what I am watching, is The Trial.

Joe Rogan 18:00 The Trial.

Brendan Schaub 18:00 I, dude, it's the best reality show of all time.

Joe Rogan 18:02 I think I need to spark a joint up if we're gonna talk about The Trial.

Brendan Schaub 18:04 Do it, bro.

Joe Rogan 18:05 'Cause The Trial-

Brendan Schaub 18:05 'Cause I can't get enough of it. It's literally-

Joe Rogan 18:07 It's amazing.

Brendan Schaub 18:08 It's fantastic.

Joe Rogan 18:09 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 18:09 It, it's the best thing on TV. At first I was upset 'cause, you know, I watch the news and they interrupted-... Ukraine getting bombed in the middle of a war with Russia, it's like, "Breaking news, Johnny Depp, Amber Heard." I'm like, "Oh, God, what are we doing here?" I was like, "Let's see what's happening," and I was like, "Oh, hell yes."

Joe Rogan 18:25 It's exciting.

Brendan Schaub 18:26 Sign me up, dude.

Joe Rogan 18:27 It's, it's, uh, it's a cautionary tale for people that were thinking that it's worth it-

Brendan Schaub 18:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:32 ... to date a crazy girl 'cause she great in bed.

Brendan Schaub 18:34 Du- no, this is my thing, though. How great is she in bed that she can shit in your bed, she can rip your fucking index finger off-

Joe Rogan 18:44 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 18:44 ... and you s- y- She must, she must be a real tomcat in the sack, dude.

Joe Rogan 18:49 I think he's probably a really nice guy, and he had great moments with her, and he keeps going back to those great moments and thinking they can get past all this craziness. 'Cause J- Johnny, I don't know Johnny well, I've talked to him before, but I know of his career and I know of his love of Hunter Thompson.

Brendan Schaub 19:09 And he's close with, uh, uh-

Joe Rogan 19:11 Stanhope.

Brendan Schaub 19:11 ... Stanho- Stanhope, right?

Joe Rogan 19:12 Yeah, very close.

Brendan Schaub 19:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:12 And that's how I know him, that's how I've, I've met him, well, I've talked to him. I met him once personally in, uh, the Comedy Store, but I talked to him on the phone for an extended period of time once when he was dealing with all this shit. And I think he's a really good guy, that's what I think.

Brendan Schaub 19:24 Yeah, I love him.

Joe Rogan 19:24 I think he's, he likes chaos though. He likes doing cocaine. He l- he probably likes doing things he shouldn't do, like (clears throat) he probably likes driving fast. Pro- he's probably an animal in, in some ways, like, he just loves, like, chaos. And I think that's one of the, I think the re- the reasons why he loved Hunter Thompson, he loved a brilliant man who loved chaos, and that's what Hunter was. Hunter was this, like, brilliant writer who was a, a cultural tr- cultural commentator who also enjoyed getting, like, obliterated, like really fucked up.

Brendan Schaub 19:59 How, how long ago, Joe? How long are we talking here?

Joe Rogan 20:00 Well, Hunter killed himself in the early 2000s-

Brendan Schaub 20:02 Okay.

Joe Rogan 20:02 ... um, after, what was it, like, 2010, '11 or something like that? I forget what year he killed himself.

Brendan Schaub 20:08 Okay.

Joe Rogan 20:09 But he, Johnny was friends with him.

Brendan Schaub 20:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:11 And Johnny played him in the movie, um, uh, you know, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. And, uh-

Brendan Schaub 20:17 Great movie.

Joe Rogan 20:17 ... he also, he al- yeah, he also narrated the Hunter Thompson documentary, which is, um, uh, g- was it Gonzo? Life in... yeah.

Narrator 20:26 Died in 2005.

Joe Rogan 20:28 What's that?

Narrator 20:28 Died in 2005.

Brendan Schaub 20:29 Mm. In Colorado?

Joe Rogan 20:31 2005 is when he died? Yeah. Yeah, he shot himself. I mean, he was hurting at the end. He had hip replacements and he was in constant pain, and a life of doing drugs, like hardcore drugs and, uh, alcohol w- obliterated his body.

Brendan Schaub 20:47 So it was Johnny's, uh, Johnny Depp's North Star, basically?

Joe Rogan 20:50 Yeah, that's his, that's his hero-

Brendan Schaub 20:52 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 20:52 ... in a lot of ways. I mean, Johnny Depp is... I, I'm, I'm, uh, I, I don't know the exact details, but he has a significant amount of Hunter Thompson memorabilia. Like, he bought-

Brendan Schaub 21:03 He loves him.

Joe Rogan 21:03 ... a significant amount.

Brendan Schaub 21:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:05 When the wife, when Hunter's wife was gonna get rid of some stuff, Johnny stepped in and got it all.

Brendan Schaub 21:09 Hey, I-

Joe Rogan 21:09 Johnny pa-

Brendan Schaub 21:10 ... I'm a fan.

Joe Rogan 21:10 ... Johnny paid for Hunter's funeral.

Brendan Schaub 21:12 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 21:12 It was millions of dollars.

Brendan Schaub 21:13 Wow.

Joe Rogan 21:14 He built a cannon to shoot Hunter's ashes-

Brendan Schaub 21:17 Damn, that's gangster.

Joe Rogan 21:17 ... into the sky, and like, you know that, that, he has this, um, this, uh, logo that's, uh... I don't know if you've seen that Hunter Thompson For Sheriff poster that I have out there?

Brendan Schaub 21:27 No.

Joe Rogan 21:28 He has a logo that's a fist with two thumbs, like a mutant fist-

Brendan Schaub 21:31 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 21:32 ... that has, uh, a mescaline tab in the center of it, and that's his logo.

Brendan Schaub 21:36 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 21:36 And so he made a giant cannon out of this logo. And here, play this, because this is Hunter talking about it.

Narrator 21:45 You know, it's all described.

Joe Rogan 21:47 No, no, do it from the beginning where he's explaining to the, the, the mortuary how he wants this done. Well, simply here today- It's hilarious. ... to discuss this sort of some kind of idea for a monument. So he's discussing- Well, let me show you this. ... his future demise.

Brendan Schaub 21:57 His own funeral?

Joe Rogan 21:57 Yeah. But actually Hunter hasn't approved it yet, it's just, uh, you know, plenty over. He lives in, uh- God, this is dark. ... Aspen in Colorado. Yeah. And so- That is different. Is this something that Jo-

Brendan Schaub 22:07 That is different.

Joe Rogan 22:08 ... Johnny Depp wanted to do? Yeah, so he just decided- But, uh, you know, it's something that, uh- ... that he was gonna do this and Johnny Depp actually wound up doing it, uh, at his, at his funeral. ... maybe one day after he died.

Brendan Schaub 22:17 Well, I mean, clearly he was gonna blow his head off though. I mean...

Joe Rogan 22:20 Yeah, so this is him.

Narrator 22:21 ... all described. You know, there's a lot to, uh, to do, particularly with me gone. This room has been filled-

Joe Rogan 22:24 I mean, this was a, this was a young Hunter planning this out. Is this property owned now?

Brendan Schaub 22:28 God, that is dark.

Joe Rogan 22:29 Yeah, and so when he got old and, you know, became friends with Johnny, I mean, Johnny's got all the fucking cash in the world, so he decided to just do it. And so he spent millions of dollars building this fucking cannon and shooting Hunter's ashes into the sky. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 22:44 That Jack Sparrow money.

Joe Rogan 22:46 (laughs) Yeah, that's it.

Brendan Schaub 22:46 I, I think what fucked him up too-

Joe Rogan 22:48 Look at that, that's the, that's the, the rocket.

Brendan Schaub 22:50 Jesus Christ.

Narrator 22:51 ... or it's gonna be a pile of rocks

22:52 And it's gonna be gone in...

Brendan Schaub 22:52 This is crazy that he actually went and did this.

Joe Rogan 22:54 It's so dark. (singing) I mean-

Brendan Schaub 22:56 Music's all fun.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Johnny Depp is hilarious, that he fact- just the fact that he did that, that he carried through-

Brendan Schaub 23:01 He's a legend.

Joe Rogan 23:01 ... I agree.

Brendan Schaub 23:01 He's a legend.

Joe Rogan 23:02 Nah.

Brendan Schaub 23:02 Spent millions on him.

Joe Rogan 23:03 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 23:03 I'm a fan, man. But also-

Joe Rogan 23:04 Look at this.

Brendan Schaub 23:05 ... think how long Johnny's been famous too, so he's, he's gonna be wired a little different, you know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 23:10 Yeah, it's not good. It's like, the way I've described it, is like getting famous when you're really young and then trying to be a fully grown adult is like making cement but you don't use all the material and then it doesn't cure right.

Brendan Schaub 23:21 You don't, you don't grow up in a realistic world.

Joe Rogan 23:24 No, it's-

Brendan Schaub 23:24 Like, nothing's real.

Joe Rogan 23:26 Yeah, it's beyond. And that's Ralph Steadman, the guy who's drawing it, who did all the Hunter S. Thompson artwork, he's brilliant artist, so he helped Hunter design it. I don't know if he was... But, but look at this, this is the fucking cannon. (singing) I'm on team Depp for life, you hear me?

Brendan Schaub 23:43 Yeah, me too.

Joe Rogan 23:44 Team Depp.

Brendan Schaub 23:44 Yeah, man. I mean, I wish he wouldn't wear, uh, eyeliner, but yeah, team Depp.

Joe Rogan 23:48 Eh.

Brendan Schaub 23:48 And little too many scarves, right?

Joe Rogan 23:50 Eh.

Brendan Schaub 23:50 Right?

Joe Rogan 23:51 You, I don't give a fuck.

Brendan Schaub 23:52 Here's my thing when I-

Joe Rogan 23:53 I don't give a fuck anymore. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 23:54 I don't... yeah, I don't... he can do no wrong in my book.

Joe Rogan 23:56 No.

Brendan Schaub 23:57 I'm a Johnny Depp fan.

Joe Rogan 23:58 If I was younger, I probably would've criticized him for it, now I'm like, yeah what... look at that, there it is.

Brendan Schaub 24:02 This is super dark, but yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:04 It's a wild move, man. The guy shoots his fucking ashes into the sky out of a goddamn cannon.

Brendan Schaub 24:08 It's a tough follow.

Joe Rogan 24:09 That's a glowing fist.

Brendan Schaub 24:10 It's a tough follow if you're gonna die.

Joe Rogan 24:11 Yeah, how are you gonna die? And all these people go to m- his fucking funeral. Bill Murray, who also played him in Where the Buffalo Roam, which is another fun Hunter Thompson movie. But the guy was a writer-

Brendan Schaub 24:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:22 ... and two different big time movie stars played him in movies.

Brendan Schaub 24:26 Jesus Christ. Johnny Depp and fucking-

Joe Rogan 24:27 And yeah.

Brendan Schaub 24:29 Bill Murray?

Joe Rogan 24:29 Bill Murray. That's, that's what a bad motherfucker Hunter Thompson (...)

Brendan Schaub 24:32 Bill Murray has some anger issues, huh?

Joe Rogan 24:34 I don't know, allegedly. Maybe someone was a cunt on the set.

Brendan Schaub 24:36 I agree, maybe they deserved it.

Narrator 24:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:37 I'd like to hear both sides of the story.

Narrator 24:39 You're a female (...)

Joe Rogan 24:40 Yeah, man, there's people watching it from a distance.

Brendan Schaub 24:43 Yeah. My funeral will not be like that.

Joe Rogan 24:45 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 24:45 Yeah. Don't waste that money on me, man. I'm out.

Joe Rogan 24:47 Yeah. I wanna be buried without formaldehyde. I wanna become a part of nature. I don't wanna be fucking filled up with some toxic shit that doesn't let you rot.

Brendan Schaub 24:57 No. But you wanna be buried, like, a... Just throw me-

Joe Rogan 24:59 I don't wanna be cremated either. No box. No box.

Brendan Schaub 25:02 Yeah. Yeah. Keep it organic, man.

Joe Rogan 25:03 Just dig a deep-ass hole and chuck me in there.

Brendan Schaub 25:06 No. Just, just like, I guess, get like a... What do you have, a Hennessy? Just get one of those big Hennessy trucks-

Joe Rogan 25:12 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 25:12 ... and then have, like, uh, your fucking boys, your meaty boys, your security, just-

Joe Rogan 25:17 Mm.

Brendan Schaub 25:17 When I'm dead, just throw my body off fucking Laurel Canyon. And then just, wherever it falls, just let me go, dude.

Joe Rogan 25:22 Mm.

Brendan Schaub 25:22 And then when you drive by, just fucking salute that part.

Joe Rogan 25:25 That's the... You know, you ever see the Tibetan sky funeral?

Brendan Schaub 25:28 No.

Joe Rogan 25:28 That's the darkest.

Brendan Schaub 25:29 No, I don't watch funerals on YouTube.

Joe Rogan 25:30 Tibetan s... Well, Tibetan sky funeral is not really a funeral.

Brendan Schaub 25:34 What is it?

Joe Rogan 25:34 They're feeding you to vultures.

Brendan Schaub 25:36 Hard pass. Don't do that.

Joe Rogan 25:37 They take, they take your clothes off, and they chop you up with, like, machetes and hatchets and shit.

Brendan Schaub 25:42 No, no, no. No, no.

Joe Rogan 25:43 They chop you up into chunks, and they leave you out there. So, like, you would have to chop up Kallen-

Brendan Schaub 25:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:49 ... in chunks and leave him...

Brendan Schaub 25:51 Be so easy.

Joe Rogan 25:51 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 25:51 No, I'd just pull him. He's so old, I just pull him like beef jerky.

Joe Rogan 25:54 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 25:54 Just like (smacking lips) .

Joe Rogan 25:56 You take chunks and leave it out there, and there's, there's all these... There's video and photos of it, and it's, uh... The idea is th- that, you know, you're dead, and this is a way to incorporate you into the universe, into nature. It's natural to have you... I mean, I don't know if that's what their idea is. Maybe there's, like, some religious aspect to it I'm not aware of.

Brendan Schaub 26:18 Those vultures are ready to go.

Joe Rogan 26:20 Well, the vultures know about it.

Brendan Schaub 26:21 It's like it's a fucking golden corral.

Joe Rogan 26:22 The vultures know about it.

Brendan Schaub 26:23 Of course.

Joe Rogan 26:23 'Cause this is how they get rid of bodies.

Brendan Schaub 26:25 Vultures are bitches though. Dude, give me something better. Like, toss me with the alligators or some shit, something, like, gnarly, man.

Joe Rogan 26:31 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 26:31 Lions? I fucking hate alligators. I don't want an alligator to eat me. I'd rather have a bird. Of, of the stupid vulture?

Joe Rogan 26:37 At least they can fly.

Brendan Schaub 26:39 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 26:40 They w- they operate in 3D space.

Brendan Schaub 26:42 But also, dude-

Joe Rogan 26:42 They're like swimming in the ocean, but it's the sky, and they can breathe in it.

Brendan Schaub 26:45 (laughs) But, dude, also, like, that can only happen with small Tibetan people. Like, nobody's carrying my big ass across the mountains-

Joe Rogan 26:53 That's true.

Brendan Schaub 26:53 ... to feed me to the vultures.

Joe Rogan 26:54 Well, they should just get more people to do it. But isn't it interesting that nothing smart can fly?

Brendan Schaub 27:02 Is that true? Crows are pretty f-

Joe Rogan 27:04 Well, it's not. Crows are pretty smart.

Brendan Schaub 27:05 Crows are smart as fuck.

Joe Rogan 27:05 They're very smart.

Brendan Schaub 27:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:07 But, like, humans and dolphins are considered, like... Well, we don't know though. See, the thing about crows is we always like to pretend that we know exactly how smart something is based entirely on what it can do.

Brendan Schaub 27:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:20 Like, and crows can do some really complicated tasks.

Brendan Schaub 27:23 Yes.

Joe Rogan 27:23 They can figure out how to solve puzzles, like. But the thing is, they might be even smarter than that.

Brendan Schaub 27:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:27 They might be, like, devious.

Brendan Schaub 27:28 They, like, bait, they bait shit in-

Joe Rogan 27:29 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 27:29 ... to, for, to, to feed, you know?

Joe Rogan 27:31 They, well, they definitely do that.

Brendan Schaub 27:33 They're smart with shit.

Joe Rogan 27:33 They, they talk cats into fighting each other.

Brendan Schaub 27:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:35 You ever see those videos?

Brendan Schaub 27:36 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:36 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 27:36 They're cool, man.

Joe Rogan 27:38 But, I mean, I wonder, like, if they have a language. They probably have some kind of a language that they can understand.

Brendan Schaub 27:45 'Cause they say dolphins and whales do too, right? They have their own language and shit.

Joe Rogan 27:49 They definitely do. Complex.

Brendan Schaub 27:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:49 We don't even understand how to decipher it. Here, uh, "Crows are self-aware and know what they know just like humans." See, that's what I'm saying. "Almost no other species has that kind of higher intelligence." Wow.

Brendan Schaub 28:03 And they're fucking big too.

Joe Rogan 28:04 Look what it says here. They are, they get pretty big. "In what now feels like an annual update, crows are even more surprisingly smart than we thought. But do we have t- but do they have true consciousness? New research shows that crows and other corvids know what they know and can ponder the content of their own minds, according to STAT. This is considered a cornerstone of self-awareness and is shared by just a handful of animals, animal species besides humans." Wow.

Brendan Schaub 28:32 They get a bad rap too, 'cause, like, in all the movies, they're, like, the-

Joe Rogan 28:35 They're evil.

Brendan Schaub 28:35 ... the vilified, right?

Joe Rogan 28:36 Well-

Brendan Schaub 28:36 'Cause they're all black.

Joe Rogan 28:37 Well, it's also, it's like-

Brendan Schaub 28:39 They look evil.

Joe Rogan 28:39 They, they were, they... Like, the crow knows.

Brendan Schaub 28:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:42 It was always like, well, there's magic attached to them, witchcraft, crows.

Brendan Schaub 28:46 Dude, when I'm on my bike, uh, you know, back there in the fucking Santa Monica mountains, there's some big-ass crows, man.

Joe Rogan 28:52 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 28:53 Big fucking crows.

Joe Rogan 28:54 Well, that's how you find dead things. You find them hovering.

Brendan Schaub 28:58 Crows and rattlesnakes, man.

Joe Rogan 29:00 Yeah, you find, you find birds. But for sure, if there's enough vultures, you'd find vultures. But the vulture thing is a, a wild way to ensure that your, the body's gonna be consumed.

Brendan Schaub 29:13 But the, then the skeleton's still there, right? So you just-

Joe Rogan 29:15 Oh, God.

Brendan Schaub 29:15 ... they smash it up? Okay.

Joe Rogan 29:16 I don't know what happens to the skeleton.

Brendan Schaub 29:18 God, it's dark, dude.

Joe Rogan 29:19 See if you can, uh, get some photos of it, of a Tibetan sky funeral. 'Cause I remember this was one of those things that I, I first found out about in the early days of the internet, you know? Like, in the early days of the internet where you, like, you would just get sent things, and it would change the way you looked at stuff, like, "What?" Like, now-

Brendan Schaub 29:36 The first thing I got was the Daniel Pearl.

Joe Rogan 29:38 Ooh, that was awful.

Brendan Schaub 29:39 Oh, I, that ruined my fucking week, man. That was awful.

Joe Rogan 29:41 Horrible. That was an awful one.

Brendan Schaub 29:42 Yeah. They caught those guys. They call them the, the bee- the, what? The Isis beetle or some shit? Those guys are s-

Joe Rogan 29:48 Is that the same guy?

Brendan Schaub 29:49 Yeah, they're fucked.

Joe Rogan 29:49 That was the guy that had-

Brendan Schaub 29:50 The one guy was called... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:51 ... the English accent?

Brendan Schaub 29:51 Yeah, he's fucked.

Joe Rogan 29:52 I didn't know that that was the same guy.

Brendan Schaub 29:53 Yup.

Joe Rogan 29:54 Um, so these, uh, these guys, they... It says don't take pictures. Why wouldn't you take pictures? That's interesting.

Brendan Schaub 30:00 Man, why do you think they're there, dude? Some random Americans?

Joe Rogan 30:03 But, I mean, wouldn't you want this to be documented just to show... Because, like, what is wrong with making a photograph of something that's kind of important in its, uh, how crazy it is in comparison to normal funerals? Like, this is weird.

Brendan Schaub 30:18 These-

Joe Rogan 30:19 The, the people are all standing there, and they're, th- they're... What are they doing? Are they shooing away the vulture with those rags? What are they doing?

Brendan Schaub 30:25 Yeah, not yet, boys.

Narrator 30:26 Well, in-

Joe Rogan 30:27 Is that what they're saying?

Narrator 30:27 In this case, in this video, this was on National Geographic, there's, uh, there's tourists that are coming to watch this.

Joe Rogan 30:32 Mm.

Brendan Schaub 30:32 Damn, someone flew out there for this.

Narrator 30:35 Maybe they don't want them to do that. I don't know.

Brendan Schaub 30:37 If you were in town, though...

Joe Rogan 30:39 ... like, if you were in town, you wouldn't go see that? Like, if you just happened to be?

Brendan Schaub 30:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:43 Like, if you were doing a show and, in Tibet-

Brendan Schaub 30:46 (laughs) Tibet.

Joe Rogan 30:47 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 30:47 Hey, man, I'm on at 1:00, dude.

Joe Rogan 30:48 Hey, you know, Louie was supposed to be doing a show in Ukraine.

Brendan Schaub 30:52 I, I talked to him about it.

Joe Rogan 30:53 That's wild.

Brendan Schaub 30:54 Dude, this is how wild of a boy he is, because he was at the, uh, Schaub and Friends at The Improv, and he did a guest spot there and h- he was in the green room. First of all, I can't remember the last time when there was a comic on stage and all the comics in the green room walked out and watched somebody's set.

Joe Rogan 31:13 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 31:13 I've seen it at the, at the store when you're on or Burr, you know, Joey Diaz. Since then, it's been years. Usually, you, you just bullshit with your buddies, you know, in the green room. And then when Louie was on, literally everyone was on the staircase at The Improv.

Joe Rogan 31:26 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 31:27 And he just fucking absolutely cr- annihilated. And not... And then, also, I figured with, you know, what he went through, it kind of changed his game up. No, man.

Joe Rogan 31:39 Not at all.

Brendan Schaub 31:39 He still d- w- what?

Joe Rogan 31:40 Not at all.

Brendan Schaub 31:41 Dude, and then-

Joe Rogan 31:41 Maybe even better, because now he's doing it like he's young-

Brendan Schaub 31:44 Maybe he feels free.

Joe Rogan 31:45 ... and upcoming again.

Brendan Schaub 31:45 Maybe he's like-

Joe Rogan 31:46 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 31:46 ... "I got nothing else to lose. Fuck it."

Joe Rogan 31:47 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 31:48 Then he comes back to the green room and he's, gets on his notepad and he's writing what worked, what didn't, and then did the late show and made adjustments.

Joe Rogan 31:54 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 31:54 So cool to see. So fucking cool to see. But between the shows we were talking, and, uh, he's like, "Yeah, it's weird." You know, he was like, "The, the media's reporting I'm still doing shows." He's like, "I was down to do it, even though they told me what was going on." And he was like, "I was on a plane, dude, headed to Ukraine." And then I guess it got worse, and he was, and even then they told me, "Hey, the fans are outside, man. They're here." And he was like, "Even during this fucking... They're getting bombed." He's like, "They're out here, man." He's like-

Joe Rogan 32:20 Imagine if he did the show.

Brendan Schaub 32:21 Dude, then Louie goes, "I'm still coming."

Joe Rogan 32:23 (gasps)

Brendan Schaub 32:24 But then the plane, he said, was, was like halfway and then turned around.

Joe Rogan 32:28 Wow.

Brendan Schaub 32:28 He's like, "But, you know, they told me they were there." I was, he was like, "I'm still gonna do it." I was like, "You're such a savage dude."

Joe Rogan 32:33 Well, Sean Penn was over there filming a documentary. He was over there for quite a while.

Brendan Schaub 32:37 That's weird though, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:39 Is it?

Brendan Schaub 32:40 Is it? You want, like f- f- f-

Joe Rogan 32:42 I mean, do you want a good documentary or not?

Brendan Schaub 32:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:44 You gotta have a little ego. You got... (laughs) Do you want a fucking good documentary or not? I mean, first of all, who knows how to make movies better than Sean Penn? Probably nobody. He's made some-

Brendan Schaub 32:53 Well-

Joe Rogan 32:53 ... fucking amazing movies.

Brendan Schaub 32:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:55 And the guy's got balls. He went-

Brendan Schaub 32:57 He has balls.

Joe Rogan 32:57 He went down to fucking Mexico.

Brendan Schaub 33:00 Well, y- yeah, he went down to Mexico and he's also the reason El Chapo kinda got busted, right? Kinda fucked El Chapo.

Joe Rogan 33:06 Uh, it's kind of the lady's fault.

Brendan Schaub 33:09 (laughs) But also-

Joe Rogan 33:10 First of all.

Brendan Schaub 33:10 ... The Rolling Stones and, you know, get involved in this, and also El Chapo. What the fuck were you thinking?

Joe Rogan 33:15 Rolling Stone Magazine. Yes.

Brendan Schaub 33:17 Yes.

Joe Rogan 33:17 Yeah. Um-

Brendan Schaub 33:17 Yeah, not the band.

Joe Rogan 33:18 But the fact that he had the balls to go down and meet El Chapo, respect. Respect. Look, uh, the guy's off kilt, right? He's-

Brendan Schaub 33:26 I'm a fan. Don't get it twisted.

Joe Rogan 33:27 He's tilted.

Brendan Schaub 33:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:28 He's, he's definitely like-

Brendan Schaub 33:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:30 He's a wacky dude.

Brendan Schaub 33:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:32 But he's the kind of guy that's willing to go to fucking Ukraine in the middle of a war. Sean Penn's meeting with El Chapo was nearly his demise. Oh, nearly Sean Penn's demise?

Brendan Schaub 33:44 He got a lot of shit for that. Yo- oh, because he met with this-

Joe Rogan 33:47 In what way?

Brendan Schaub 33:47 Well, he met with the biggest fucking cartel leader in the world.

Joe Rogan 33:51 Right, but he met up with him to do an article. Like, isn't that journalism?

Brendan Schaub 33:54 No, he met with him 'cause El Chapo wanted, uh, Sean Penn to do the movie on him.

Joe Rogan 33:59 No.

Brendan Schaub 33:59 That's why they met.

Joe Rogan 34:00 That's why they met?

Brendan Schaub 34:01 Yeah. Oh well, that doesn't make any sense.

Joe Rogan 34:02 See if that's real, Jimmy.

Brendan Schaub 34:04 Do you imag- they would have to do him the way they did The Penguin. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:06 Right.

Brendan Schaub 34:06 There's no way he's gonna really-

Joe Rogan 34:07 Well, no, I think he's gonna turn everything-

Brendan Schaub 34:08 ... look like El Chapo. They're gonna have to give him makeup.

Joe Rogan 34:10 I think he's gonna direct it. Because he doesn't look anything like him.

Narrator 34:11 What's that?

Joe Rogan 34:11 Oh, direct it.

Narrator 34:12 Sort of.

Brendan Schaub 34:12 Making a movie-

Joe Rogan 34:13 Penn was non-committal-

Brendan Schaub 34:14 ... without El Chapo.

Joe Rogan 34:14 ... about making a movie with or about Guzman. He took the trip to Mexico solely to interview the king for Rolling Stone Magazine. That's what I thought. See, see, he just hadn't shared the detail yet with Guzman, a man known for not enjoying surprises. Okay. So, he went there to film, to re- do an interview, but he hadn't told Guzman that he was gonna do an interview with him.

Brendan Schaub 34:35 Hold on, read this. This, uh, this is where he fucked up.

Joe Rogan 34:37 Is that what it says?

Brendan Schaub 34:38 Hey, this is where he fucked up, Joe.

Joe Rogan 34:39 What?

Brendan Schaub 34:40 Look at this quote. (laughs) This is hilarious. "Today I believe more in El Chapo (laughs) than I do the governments that hide the truths from me."

Joe Rogan 34:47 Where, where does it say that?

Narrator 34:49 Right here.

Joe Rogan 34:49 Right here.

Brendan Schaub 34:49 Oh, no he didn't.

Narrator 34:50 Oh, that wasn't...

34:52 Fajita Castillo wrote that on Twitter.

Brendan Schaub 34:54 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 34:55 Oh, okay.

Brendan Schaub 34:56 Thank God.

Joe Rogan 34:56 I thought that was-

Brendan Schaub 34:57 Imagine if Sean Penn-

Joe Rogan 34:58 ... insane, dude.

Brendan Schaub 34:58 ... if Sean Penn went that deep. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:00 Nuts.

Narrator 35:01 But listen, that guy's got my respect. He's got balls of steel. He went to Ukraine in the middle of a war. I don't care if he's a gigantic movie star. I don't care if he's, you know, he's a, a wacky Hollywood elitist. The guy went to Ukraine.

Joe Rogan 35:13 Take some balls. I agree.

Narrator 35:15 Balls-

Joe Rogan 35:16 Balls.

Narrator 35:16 ... like steel. And then on top of that, meeting El Chapo, more balls. The guy's got balls. You gotta give it to him.

Brendan Schaub 35:22 Yeah, the El Chapo thing, though. Balls, but also like, yeah, I guess, it's scary as shit.

Joe Rogan 35:27 Bro, that's-

Brendan Schaub 35:27 The guy murders-

Joe Rogan 35:28 It's all balls.

Brendan Schaub 35:28 ... so many people.

Joe Rogan 35:29 The El Chapo thing is all balls. You're going to a Mexican drug kingpin's house.

Brendan Schaub 35:34 And not, not just any drug kingpin.

Joe Rogan 35:36 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 35:36 The drug kingpin.

Joe Rogan 35:38 Yeah, the most famous one.

Brendan Schaub 35:40 Savage.

Joe Rogan 35:40 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 35:40 Savage. Being, you know, El Chapo-

Joe Rogan 35:41 Oh, my God. You don't-

Brendan Schaub 35:42 'Cause he, he's tiny.

Narrator 35:43 Fajita Castillo, I believe, is the woman in this, uh, scenario. She is the soap actra- soap opera actress.

Brendan Schaub 35:49 Who had a relationship with El Chapo, they said.

Narrator 35:51 A fan, yeah, yeah. El Chapo was a fan of her performance.

Joe Rogan 35:54 Yeah, so when she said that, that makes sense.

Narrator 35:57 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 35:57 Dude, I was at a... My girl, you know, she used to work for Telemundo or Televisión, one of the things. And, uh, I was at an award show. She's, she was supposed to get this award. And that girl was there, and this is right around all that was going on. And I saw her and I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna pick with her and say, 'Jealous, El Chapo?' (gasps) And my girl goes, "Do not do that." I was like-

Joe Rogan 36:20 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 36:20 ... "Oh, it'd be funny." She's like-

Narrator 36:21 No, no, no, no.

Brendan Schaub 36:21 ... "No, it's not funny."

Joe Rogan 36:22 That shit is not funny.

Brendan Schaub 36:22 I'm telling you, it would not go over well.

Joe Rogan 36:24 Yeah, all that would take is one dude who wants to prove a point.

Brendan Schaub 36:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:27 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 36:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:28 They play by different rules. And it's right there. You can drive there from San Diego.

Brendan Schaub 36:32 That's not far.

Joe Rogan 36:32 Not far at all. And it's, uh, essentially run by drug lords.

Brendan Schaub 36:37 Uh-... but also because, you know, you, you cut the head off the snake there with El Chapo. Now it's just mayhem, dude.

Joe Rogan 36:44 I don't know, um, enough about, um, the politics of the cartels-

Brendan Schaub 36:49 Oh, I do.

Joe Rogan 36:49 ... to, to comment on that, 'cause they, they fight a lot, right?

Brendan Schaub 36:51 Oh, I do.

Joe Rogan 36:52 Do you?

Brendan Schaub 36:52 Yeah, because me, my girl, and the kids were just in Mexico. You know, I stress out about it.

Joe Rogan 36:57 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 36:57 And I was like, "Let's just go to San Diego, man."

Joe Rogan 36:59 Right.

Brendan Schaub 36:59 Like, uh, if something happens, at least I can call some people. Like, Mexico, we're fucked. My anxiety when we were there, dude, was... I couldn't sleep.

Joe Rogan 37:07 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 37:07 I couldn't sleep. Couldn't sleep.

Joe Rogan 37:09 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 37:09 And then, and then the last night we're there, we go to dinner, and I haven't seen this the whole time. W- we go to dinner, and we're walking back, and, uh, one of the guys who works there greets us. He goes, "I'll walk you back to your room." I go, "That's nice." But then I see behind me, there's a dude in all camouflage carrying an AK-47. And I keep s- and I'm like, "What the fuck is going on?" I have my, I'm, I'm holding my son.

Joe Rogan 37:29 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 37:29 My... Boston, he's two. So I'm, so I'm home like this, and I'm like, "I'm gonna put him down just in case something pops off." 'Cause I'm like, "Why the fuck is this guy following..." So my girl's up, up abo- uh, in front of me, so I don't say anything 'cause I don't want her to be stressed out. So we get back to our little place and w- we go in there. And then, uh, I didn't say anything 'cause e- I didn't want to alert the family. And then the next morning, I go, "Hey, when the homeboy comes back in here..." 'Cause he only s- spoke Spanish. Um, I go, "Ask him why that guy with the AK-47 was following us last night." She goes, "What?" And I didn't want to tell you, but there was a guy following us back to the room. So she talks to him, 'cause he's following us, and when, as we get close to our, uh, little villa, he just disappears into the bushes. Literally just walked on a, uh, a different path. And she asks him, and he goes, "Oh, there's a high-profile celebrity on the property, and when he comes here, he hires his own security."

Joe Rogan 38:18 Holy shit.

Brendan Schaub 38:19 And I was like, "What? That guy, that dude's that scared?"

Joe Rogan 38:24 Holy shit.

Brendan Schaub 38:24 Well, if he know that, I don't know, man.

Joe Rogan 38:26 Yeah, Jesus Christ.

Brendan Schaub 38:27 And my girl got all mad 'cause I was like, "You know, they're kidnapping people." She's like, "Who the fuck's gonna kidnap your big ass?" I was like, "You never know, man. You never know."

Joe Rogan 38:34 Isn't that funny she's talking shit about kidnappings?

Brendan Schaub 38:37 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 38:37 Kidnappings are real.

Brendan Schaub 38:38 Di- me?

Joe Rogan 38:39 No, they're real. Like, kidnappings-

Brendan Schaub 38:40 Oh, for sure.

Joe Rogan 38:41 ... are real. They really do kidnap people.

Brendan Schaub 38:42 With Americans?

Joe Rogan 38:43 They're really good, though, uh, about the tourist and resort towns for the most part.

Brendan Schaub 38:47 They're not right now, though, Joe.

Joe Rogan 38:48 No?

Brendan Schaub 38:48 Like in Cancun and, uh, where's the main place people go, that fucking-

Joe Rogan 38:52 Acapulco?

Brendan Schaub 38:53 No.

Joe Rogan 38:53 Acapulco, some shit went down.

Brendan Schaub 38:54 No, that shit, well, you know, where people go and they do weird shit.

Joe Rogan 38:57 Tulum?

Brendan Schaub 38:58 Tulum.

Joe Rogan 38:58 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 38:59 Tulum. Two people just died there.

Joe Rogan 39:00 People just go where they can do real shit.

Brendan Schaub 39:01 Yeah, they do drugs and shit there.

Joe Rogan 39:02 Yeah, people got caught up in a crossfire, right?

Brendan Schaub 39:03 Did you hear why?

Joe Rogan 39:04 No.

Brendan Schaub 39:05 Because, uh, again, it's, you know, they're, they're battling for that territory. And when Americans tourist comes, they want drugs, so it becomes a big drug hub. Well, cartel provide the drugs. So, I guess they went to the main Tulum, like, hotel restaurant and shook down the owners. Like, "Yo, dude, cool. We're gonna take this much of a percentage and we're gonna run this area." And he's like, "Nah, get the fuck outta there." They're like, "All right, cool. See you less, dude." And then they come back and there's, you know. It's the nice place of Tulum and cartel members like fucking margaritas and taquitos or what the fuck. So they're chilling with the regular tourists. Another gang sees them and they just open fire and then two Americans die.

Joe Rogan 39:40 Jesus Christ.

Brendan Schaub 39:41 Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I think... But for the most part, and I, I did talk about this in... We got emails where people were like, "Dude, you're more likely to get shot in LA, Detroit, and Chicago than you are in Mexico. Like, Mexico's way more safer." I get that, but I know how to navigate Chicago, Detroit, and LA.

Joe Rogan 39:57 Right, and you speak English.

Brendan Schaub 39:57 I don't know how to nav- yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:59 Sort of, you sort of speak-

Brendan Schaub 40:00 Sort of. I mean-

Joe Rogan 40:01 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 40:01 ... I'm not Jordan Peterson.

Joe Rogan 40:02 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 40:02 But, you know. I'm not great, I'm not a black belt in English.

Joe Rogan 40:05 I always wonder when I watch you how often you have one of them little tobacco things in your mouth.

Brendan Schaub 40:09 Every time.

Joe Rogan 40:10 Right now, you got one in your mouth.

Brendan Schaub 40:11 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:11 Like, 'cause it always looks like you have, like, dental work.

Brendan Schaub 40:13 Yeah, uh, uh, yeah. You just reminded me to put another one in.

Joe Rogan 40:16 Give me one of them things.

Brendan Schaub 40:17 Yeah, you got it, brother.

Joe Rogan 40:18 Is it a real problem, these things?

Brendan Schaub 40:20 Uh, I love them. Rogue, shout out to Rogue nicotine, dude.

Joe Rogan 40:23 Do you know anybody with mouth rot from these?

Brendan Schaub 40:25 No, you're not gonna get cancer from these. That-

Joe Rogan 40:26 Well, what are you? A doctor? The fuck (laughs) kind of statement is that?

Brendan Schaub 40:30 I mean, you know, they are-

Joe Rogan 40:30 What, you gonna stick it right here?

Brendan Schaub 40:31 They are addictive.

Joe Rogan 40:32 Is that good?

Brendan Schaub 40:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:33 All right.

Brendan Schaub 40:34 This one's berry, this is the new flavor, berry. I love them.

Joe Rogan 40:37 Tastes like shit. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 40:37 No, dude. You won't find a more intense flavor. And I-

Joe Rogan 40:41 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 40:41 Listen, I don't... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:44 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 40:44 You want one, Jamie?

Narrator 40:46 Sure.

Brendan Schaub 40:46 Yeah, come on, dog. Get you some. Dude, and I, I don't know if it's 'cause I, I got COVID or I'm just getting older, but, like, I like intense shit, like coffee.

Joe Rogan 40:54 Yeah, he, he had COVID. You can't smell anything anymore. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 40:56 I can't taste anything.

Joe Rogan 40:56 You need to be poisoned.

Brendan Schaub 40:57 Dude. Spicy stuff, it can't get spicy enough for me.

Joe Rogan 41:01 Oh, I love spicy.

Brendan Schaub 41:02 Yeah, I love spicy now.

Joe Rogan 41:02 This is not bad. This is n- honestly, no bullshit, all jokes aside.

Brendan Schaub 41:05 No, these are-

Joe Rogan 41:05 This is not bad.

Brendan Schaub 41:06 ... fucking killer, yeah. Rogue's the best.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Now, you get like a, a buzz, like a cigarette buzz from this?

Brendan Schaub 41:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:10 Interesting.

Brendan Schaub 41:10 'Cause you know how, like, some comics will smoke cigarettes before they go on stage?

Joe Rogan 41:13 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 41:13 This, I, I do, I, you know, I'm not gonna smoke c-, I physically can't smoke a cigarette.

Joe Rogan 41:17 And you think that is, uh, better for you maybe?

Brendan Schaub 41:19 Yeah, 100%.

Joe Rogan 41:20 Hmm.

Brendan Schaub 41:20 100%.

Joe Rogan 41:21 Everybody thinks those vapes are better for you.

Brendan Schaub 41:23 N- who's everybody?

Joe Rogan 41:24 David Lucas.

Brendan Schaub 41:25 Well, first of all-

Joe Rogan 41:26 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 41:26 ... David Lucas is on tour with me. I call him the vape-

Joe Rogan 41:29 Ah!

Brendan Schaub 41:29 I call him vape daddy. At, at all times, he has six vapes on him. It's-

Joe Rogan 41:34 Yeah, he has a lot of vapes.

Brendan Schaub 41:34 I'll take a hit of it, but he has literally, like, fucking-

Joe Rogan 41:36 Yeah, he's got extras.

Brendan Schaub 41:37 He just always has vapes on him.

Joe Rogan 41:38 He pulled one, a fresh one out for me to try yesterday. And I took it in and I was like, "Is this actually better than smoking?" And I think-

Brendan Schaub 41:43 No, it's worse, it's worse for you. Way worse.

Joe Rogan 41:44 Is it worse?

Brendan Schaub 41:45 Yeah, it's, it's more condensed, like, concentrated n- nicotine and-

Joe Rogan 41:48 I'm not sure.

Brendan Schaub 41:49 No, I am, Joe. I'm telling you.

Joe Rogan 41:50 Yeah?

Brendan Schaub 41:51 Look that shit up, Jamie. I'm telling you, it's way worse for you than, than smoking cigarettes.

Joe Rogan 41:55 I j-

Brendan Schaub 41:55 That's what they say.

Joe Rogan 41:56 I do know of, uh, a young man who got pneumonia who vaped every day and he wound up dying.

Brendan Schaub 42:02 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 42:02 I do know of that, who was a young guy. And he was a chronic vaper. I mean, all day, every day. And he had one of those box ones. You know those thick ones you get in a lunch box?

Brendan Schaub 42:14 Yeah. Almost like a small VHS tape in a fucking-

Joe Rogan 42:15 And they're blowing just giant clouds-

Brendan Schaub 42:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:17 ... out of this thing all the time.

Brendan Schaub 42:18 They smell nice, too. But their problem is they market to kids, so there's like a Froot Loop one. There's like a-

Joe Rogan 42:23 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 42:23 ... Fruity Pebbles one.

Joe Rogan 42:25 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 42:25 They're fucking tasty.

Joe Rogan 42:27 Um-

Brendan Schaub 42:27 How good is David Lucas, though?

Joe Rogan 42:29 At comedy?

Brendan Schaub 42:29 He's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 42:30 Yeah. He's, he's, he's one of my fave-

Brendan Schaub 42:31 He's one of the best guys ever at roasting, like back and forth, like with Tony Hinchcliffe when they gave Tony-

Joe Rogan 42:35 Dude, he lit Tony up last night in the green room. (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 42:38 With his coat. So he looked like a gay puffer fish.

Joe Rogan 42:40 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 42:41 He goes, he goes, "I bet you blow up if I touch your ass." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:45 (laughs) He's like off-the-cuff comments on Kill Tony are some of the best I've ever heard.

Brendan Schaub 42:49 Bro, when we're on-

Joe Rogan 42:50 He's so good.

Brendan Schaub 42:50 When we're on the road and there's a heckler...... he, again, he's the guy who will come out of green room-

Joe Rogan 42:54 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 42:54 ... like, "Yes! Oh, heckle him. Do it."

Joe Rogan 42:56 All right.

Brendan Schaub 42:57 "See what happens. Fucking heckle him." You know, 'cause Chappelle's not on the road with me anymore, man. Chappelle-

Joe Rogan 43:01 Chappelle Lacey.

Brendan Schaub 43:02 Chappelle Lacey, yeah-

Joe Rogan 43:03 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 43:03 ... sorry, Chappelle Lacey, who we both love.

Joe Rogan 43:05 Yeah, I love him.

Brendan Schaub 43:05 Yeah, he also left with Fire & Kin.

Joe Rogan 43:07 What's he doing?

Brendan Schaub 43:08 He, he just focused on his own show, which is on Thick Boy Network, the, the Chappelle, Chappelle's World.

Joe Rogan 43:13 You have a Th- Thick Boy Network?

Brendan Schaub 43:14 Thick Boy Network, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:14 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 43:15 Yeah. Yeah, I have my own, like, alley version of what you have here, but it's all-

Joe Rogan 43:19 Wow.

Brendan Schaub 43:19 ... all my shit. Yeah-

Joe Rogan 43:20 Nice.

Brendan Schaub 43:20 ... all my staff, everything.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Beautiful.

Brendan Schaub 43:21 But, um, yeah, it's great, man. But Chappelle, he's so funny because when he first come on the road with me, I told him, I said, "Hey, the goal here is, you know, you get so popular, you're headlining your own shit. That's how this should work."

Joe Rogan 43:33 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 43:33 "I don't want you to just be my feature."

Joe Rogan 43:34 Right.

Brendan Schaub 43:34 And probably about, I don't know, six months ago, seven months ago, he's all nervous. You know, Chappelle, he's, like, the nicest fucking guy in the world. And he goes, "Hey, man, I can't do that, that date in, uh, Tacoma with you." I'm like, "What? The fuck you got? What he gotta fucking..." You know, he plays in a band or some shit.

Joe Rogan 43:48 Right.

Brendan Schaub 43:48 I'm like, "What? A band?" He's like, "No, no, not I... You know, I'm starting to get headline gigs." I'm like, "Dude, this is great."

Joe Rogan 43:54 That's awesome. That's beautiful.

Brendan Schaub 43:54 "Like, you're doing your own thing, dude. This is ex- this is how this should work." So Chappelle's doing his own thing, man, headlining, crushing it. He's gonna-

Joe Rogan 44:00 Beautiful.

Brendan Schaub 44:00 ... focus on his own podcast, and now, you know, hopefully David Lucas is the next guy.

Joe Rogan 44:03 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Schaub 44:03 You know, and David has it, man. He's a beast. (slurping)

Joe Rogan 44:07 I can't.

Brendan Schaub 44:07 Too much for you, daddy?

Joe Rogan 44:09 Oh.

Brendan Schaub 44:09 Too much?

Joe Rogan 44:10 Did you give up too?

Brendan Schaub 44:10 You took that too?

Joe Rogan 44:11 Whoo, bitches, bro.

Brendan Schaub 44:13 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 44:13 Maybe it's the COVID. Maybe your sense of taste is fucked.

Brendan Schaub 44:16 No, dude, it's enhanced. Dude, and I've been-

Joe Rogan 44:19 (sighs)

Brendan Schaub 44:19 ... carnivore-

Joe Rogan 44:20 It's a lot.

Brendan Schaub 44:21 I've been carni- I know you gave up on carnivore. Your boy's been carnivore for, what, since fucking December now?

Joe Rogan 44:27 I didn't give up on it. Uh, I just added fruit. And occasionally I cheat. Like, occasionally I'll have-

Brendan Schaub 44:33 I cheat, dude.

Joe Rogan 44:33 ... a piece of pizza.

Brendan Schaub 44:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:34 Occasionally I'll have, like, uh, some bread, but not much. The vast majority of my diet is just meat and fruit.

Brendan Schaub 44:41 We're the same. I don't, I don't do fruit. It's literally just meat. And then I'll cheat. Like, I took my kid to the movies, we went and saw Bad Guys. And, you know, whatever, there's popcorn or something I'll, I'll share with him.

Joe Rogan 44:50 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 44:50 I don't be the weird dad.

Joe Rogan 44:51 Right.

Brendan Schaub 44:52 And then I do that show Food Truck Diaries, so you can't be on a diet on a, that-

Joe Rogan 44:56 Right.

Brendan Schaub 44:56 ... fucking show, so...

Joe Rogan 44:57 Shifty tacos and shit.

Brendan Schaub 44:58 Yeah, or fucking barbecue.

Joe Rogan 44:59 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 44:59 So I'll, I'll cheat on that when the fighter's on, but other than that, I'm, I'd say 98% of the time carnivore. Unless I cheat on the show.

Joe Rogan 45:05 For me, the big change adding fruit was workouts. My workouts are better. I eat fruit in the morning before I work out. And I was doing a lot of fasted workouts before. And fasted workouts are fine, you get, but I really do think I get, like, a little extra juice-

Brendan Schaub 45:21 I bet.

Joe Rogan 45:22 ... if, uh-

Brendan Schaub 45:22 From the sugar?

Joe Rogan 45:22 ... if I have some, yeah, if I have some fruit. So that's all I ever eat in the morning, is fruit. And, uh-

Brendan Schaub 45:27 Dude, you look-

Joe Rogan 45:28 ... hehe.

Brendan Schaub 45:28 ... the best I've seen you look, I would say.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Thank you.

Brendan Schaub 45:30 And also Jamie too, man. I know I was talking shit before we came in here, but-

Joe Rogan 45:32 It's a good life. We're living the good life out here in Texas, bro.

Brendan Schaub 45:33 ... you boys are crushing it.

Joe Rogan 45:34 This is, this is what freedom looks like.

Brendan Schaub 45:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:37 Ugh.

Brendan Schaub 45:38 Yeah, no. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:40 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 45:40 Dude, but it's so, it's so weird with comics in LA and then the comics here. It's not a LA vers Austin.

Joe Rogan 45:46 They make, they're making it-

Brendan Schaub 45:48 I don't, why?

Joe Rogan 45:48 A lot of these LA people are mad we left.

Brendan Schaub 45:51 I mean, dude, it's, the LA scene's back and popping, dude. It's like, you know?

Joe Rogan 45:55 Look, I'm sure it's great. It's great. People get FOMO, man. Everybody gets FOMO. They get fear of missing out. It's normal. When someone leaves and goes and looks like they're having too much fun, it's always, "Fuck that guy."

Brendan Schaub 46:06 Yeah, I guess because of Instagram and, like, social media, 'cause, y- you know, I d-

Joe Rogan 46:10 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 46:10 ... you know, I, I don't see Instagram or social media, but I assume you post cool shit, so people are like, "Oh, fuck that."

Joe Rogan 46:14 I don't even hardly post anything.

Brendan Schaub 46:16 Yeah, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 46:16 But I-

Brendan Schaub 46:16 I mean, I'm-

Joe Rogan 46:17 Not about that.

Brendan Schaub 46:17 Nope.

Joe Rogan 46:17 I mean, occasionally I post stuff about our shows-

Brendan Schaub 46:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:19 ... and stuff we're having.

Brendan Schaub 46:20 Once your, once your club opens up, though-

Joe Rogan 46:22 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 46:22 ... talk about FOMO. But I, it's gonna be a good thing. It's like-

Joe Rogan 46:24 It's gonna be a good thing for comedy.

Brendan Schaub 46:25 It's a two-hour flight from LA. What are you guys crying about?

Joe Rogan 46:27 It's, it's a good thing for comedy because we're just trying to help comedians get out there. We're trying to, uh, we give people a great place to perform, where they're supported and they're taken care of, and make them feel comfortable, like you could have fun there. And it's an art form, man. It's an art form that doesn't get the respect of other art forms. It doesn't get the respect that music gets or that literature gets, you know?

Brendan Schaub 46:48 You don't think so? No?

Joe Rogan 46:49 No, it doesn't.

Brendan Schaub 46:50 I think some of you guys do.

Joe Rogan 46:51 'Cause the process, the process doesn't get any respect. The process of developing as a musician, like, if you're classically trained, right? You can go to schools, you can go to Juilliard.

Brendan Schaub 47:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:02 You can learn music. You learn-

Brendan Schaub 47:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:04 ... how to read Beethoven. You learn how to compose. You learn how to w- you know, play ancient songs. You don't get, learn shit as a comedian. You figure it out all on yourself. It's all on you. And you, if you don't have good comedian friends, it's hard to know what the fuck's the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do, without, like, these interviews with George Carlin where he looked into his writing process or, you know, without, uh, I would love to imagine if there was a three-hour conversation with Richard Pryor-

Brendan Schaub 47:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:36 ... about how he does stand-up, how he creates.

Brendan Schaub 47:39 That'd be good, but they get, the game's changed now, like, I don't-

Joe Rogan 47:41 But it does, it hasn't changed.

Brendan Schaub 47:42 It has a little bit, Joe, 'cause y- you know, you talk about a three-hour process of, uh, Richard Pryor and how he got to where he's at, and you look at the game now, what about a three-hour fucking conversation with you or Bill Burr?

Joe Rogan 47:54 Yeah, that would be great.

Brendan Schaub 47:55 Or, or Kevin Hart.

Joe Rogan 47:56 But the thing is you can't have that. And we've, our, I've, I've, if you d- took all the times that we've ever talked about stand-up on this podcast, you would have more than three hours. The point is, like, Richard Pryor was doing it when no one knew how to do it.

Brendan Schaub 48:07 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 48:08 And the, he's, like, one of the most revered artists of all time, but his actual process-

Brendan Schaub 48:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:14 ... of how he created that is kind of unknown. I mean, we know that he worked with Paul Mooney.

Brendan Schaub 48:18 Yes.

Joe Rogan 48:18 We know that he, like, he had g- writers and other comics he'd bounce stuff off, and he did a lot of workout sets, and he would have these ideas and he'd flesh them out and he'd work them out on stage. We know about all that, but to hear him talk about it would've been fucking amazing.

Brendan Schaub 48:32 But don't you think it's interesting, too, like, you know, if you talk about a comic's process, like, some comics like to write it all out.

Joe Rogan 48:37 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 48:38 And then some comics are just chaos, where nobody's gonna relate to it.

Joe Rogan 48:40 Yup.

Brendan Schaub 48:41 But I think that's why there's not that kind of blueprint for it. Everybody's different.

Joe Rogan 48:45 For sure.

Brendan Schaub 48:46 And that's the same, like, same thing with, you know, I don't think UFC fighters get the, y- you know, the, the accolades that, uh, these other athletes do, because there's no path. You're not going to college to, you know, a scholarship at Duke and then going to the NBA. Like, you made it, everybody makes it different ways.

Joe Rogan 49:00 Right, you made it as a wrestler, you made it as a jiu-jitsu guy.

Brendan Schaub 49:03 Yeah, so, yeah, or, or you came up-

Joe Rogan 49:04 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 49:04 ... The Ultimate Fighter or Dana White's Contender Series.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 49:06 So they don't get the same accolades. I think it's the, similar with comedy. It's like everybody's different, but I think why, you know, w-

Joe Rogan 49:15 ... I was so fortunate when I got in the game and I had, I was surrounded by, like, you and Bert and Tom and D'Elia, like, all, and Theo, and especially really you because, you know, people go, "Oh, Brendan, your work ethic." I'm like, "Dude, work ethic? You're jok- you know, uh, you're the, you're the, the North Star. You're the standard for work ethic, you and Bill Burr." You look at Bill, you look at you. So I think it's like, that's working, man. And you, th- your blueprint, I think, is gonna, um, be easier for people to digest, if that makes sense, 'cause you're not crazy. Right. You know? Does that make sense or is that weird? No, I get it. No, I know what you're saying. Yeah, 'cause you- You- you approach it more like a professional athlete. Yeah. Yes. And you have to. You have to p- you have to approach it like a professional, but sometimes a professional is just a nut. Like some professionals are, like, professionally wi- like Kinison. Like you're never gonna get, you would never get him to do it that way. You'd never get Joey Diaz to approach... Like, everybody has their own way of doing it. But the point is that there's, there's a way to parse that out. It's not that you would teach a blueprint of how to do it, but there's a way to parse out all the ways. If you looked at the way Gilbert Godfrey created standup, if you look at the way Dave Attell creates standup, there's a way that we can at least get some lessons there and develop a study on it. Mm-hmm. Because what standup is, is a kind of a form of mass hypnosis that most people love. Most people love to go to a comedy show and laugh hard. If you've gone to a comedy show and you saw one of your favorite comedians and they had a great set, you walked out of there like, "Oh my God, that was amazing." Like you just took a drug. Mm-hmm. Like, you, you see people piling out of theaters and they're just laughing and they're having so much fun. You- you gave them a drug for as long as you were on stage. And that, that in its final form, like, you know, comedians sell out arenas and comedians have Netflix specials that are huge, but in terms of the, the way people understand how that was created, there's almost no support. And it's hard for people in the beginning to even figure out how to get going. Isn't that what makes it good? And part of that's good. I don't mean to interrupt you. No, you're right. Isn't that kind of cool? Part of it's good. Yeah. Part of it's good. But it would be better if once you got to a certain level of proficiency, you were helped along. Mm-hmm. And I think that's what we can do here in Austin. I think what I want to do with the Mothership is have this place where you can work out and you can learn and you can be around and we can all, like, help each other because you're gonna be around these killers. You're gonna be around guys like Segura. You're gonna be around guys like Hinchcliffe. You're gonna be around these fucking murderers that come in from out of town. Tim Dillon. And Tim Dillon's a murderer. Murderer. And you, you round that, you absorb all this shit. Derek's out here too. Derek Jeter's out here. Oh, he's also one of my favorite people. He was on the road with me for- He's an animal. ... two years, dude. Animal. Animal. Funny as fuck. He's- He's the, he's the best. But Joe- And he's out here, but- You, you, and I, and I think what you're doing in Austin's gonna be great and it's gonna, you know, you build it, they will come, especially you. But you did that in LA, brother. You did that for me, man. You gave me a fucking career. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, that's why I learned how to do it. Yeah. I learned how to do it in LA- Yeah. ... because it was like the store was the place where people were doormen- Mm-hmm. ... or, or, you know, parking lot attendants and waitresses and shit, and they wanted to be comics, and that's how they got their job there. And they went all the way to being professionals, and they were always with us. Like we've, we've had relationships with people there from the time... Like Ari and I were friends when he was a doorman. Yeah. And now he's a pro. Duncan, Duncan was the guy who used to answer the phone- Yup. ... when you would call and give him your dates. David Lucas was a door guy. Yes. But that- Yes. ... that's what I took from you, like, if there's anything, uh, and, you know, I'm super grateful and, you know, how f- you know, I almost feel like my career is Make-A-Wish when they find out I'm, you know, I don't have mental issues. (laughs) They're like, "Get the fuck out of here, dude." But, um, like, the thing I learned from you, it's like now with my platform, not as big as yours, but it's not bad, I give back. Yeah. Right? You're boost- you're, you're following- David Chappelle Lacy. ... the blueprint. David L- Lil' Browz. Yeah. You know, this white rapper who creates all the music for all my promos and he's so fucking talented, man. That's awesome. It's nutsos. That's beautiful. Yes. That's- that's good. You're helping. Yes. That's good. And there's- That's my job. There's something to that that is like, it- it's very enriching for you too. You know, it's, it doesn't just help those comics that you're giving a boost to, it helps you. Like, it, that's the thing that people think about, um, philanthropy, they think about, like, charity work or doing something good for someone or being kind and generous. They think about it like, "Wow, you're giving so much," but you get- Mm-hmm. Yes. ... something out of it too. You get a, you feel great. You're, it's, the universe wants to reward someone who tries to do better and tries to make people around them better and tries to get better because of those people around them that are better and tries to celebrate all the people that are better than them. It's also the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. Especially if the people, people have the chops- Yeah. ... they just haven't been, you know, introduced to the fan base. There's a quite a few of those. Yes. You know, there's- There's so many. Yeah. That's the thing I'm learning. There's so many. And that's the- And some of them would have quit before. Agree. And because of the internet, they don't have to quit. Yeah. The internet is opening up a path where these guys are gonna get promoted where maybe they wouldn't fit in on a late night talk show. Agree. Maybe they wouldn't get cast in a sitcom or- Or maybe Netflix passed on it or Comedy Central. Yeah. But for whatever reason, they can find their niche and people are gonna, you know, vibe with it. You know, that's- that's why I did, and I'd like your thoughts on it, it's like with my special, the plan was to have my team shoot it and then sell it and that, you know, to all these major networks. I'm not calling anybody out. But I'd meet with everybody. You name it, I met with them, man. They made offers. And I'd go, "Okay, what can you guys do?" They'd give me a list. Then I'd call my team and go, "Hey, how much is it to this? Can we do this?" And they'd give me all that. I'm like, "God, I feel like I can fucking do it, man." And for me, it's like where I'm at in my career, I need the most eyeballs possible. Yes. Well, you also need- I don't need... It's not a paycheck. It's not, it's, you know, it's not about money in any facet. I just need this out as many people that they can see and see how hard I work at this- Yeah. ... at standup. It's, you're gonna see a giant improvement- Yes. ... in your set. Yes, sir. If people saw your first one to now, the first one I would've probably tried to talk you out of it, but I had already talked you out of fighting. Yeah. And I was like, "I can't talk him out of this too." (laughs) And, and, yeah, no, you- Plus- But you could have, but- And Showtime (laughs) , and Showtime- It's insane. But Showtime was willing to do it and, like, they were gonna give you money. I'm like, "What am I, what the fuck am I gonna do?" But it, but it... I wouldn't, I don't regret anything. But at the time, and, you know, a- and I think it's funny too, you know, when I talk to fighters.

Brendan Schaub 55:44 ... because of, it- it's my own perspective here, even in comedy, like, dude, there's no rush, man.

Joe Rogan 55:50 Right.

Brendan Schaub 55:50 It's a fucking marathon, not a sprint.

Joe Rogan 55:53 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 55:53 Like, y- you're gonna get the stuff and s- "I just had this conversation."

Joe Rogan 55:55 You don't want it too early.

Brendan Schaub 55:56 You don't want it too early, and it's also like, you know, even on the road, it's like, th- you know, they're pushing me into theaters now. I'm like, "No, no, no, hold on. I'll get there. I'm good, man." I need the reps in cl- in clubs. I like clubs.

Joe Rogan 56:09 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 56:09 That-

Joe Rogan 56:09 Clubs are great.

Brendan Schaub 56:09 ... and, and I think to me it shows that I'm, I'm maturing as a, a standup, and it's just like th- give me time, man.

Joe Rogan 56:17 We've-

Brendan Schaub 56:17 Don't, don't force this.

Joe Rogan 56:18 ... we've been real fortunate to have Vulcan in town, so that we work out here all the time-

Brendan Schaub 56:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:22 ... so we're always working out in clubs. So even if I'm doing arenas, I'm working out the material in clubs. I think that's the best diet. I think standup has to be kind of like CrossFit. You gotta do, like, a small crowd sometimes. You gotta do, like, a, you know, a belly room-type, 90-seater crowd.

Brendan Schaub 56:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:39 And sometimes you gotta do... You know, you don't have to ever do the big places. The big places are wild. Th- But they're just like c- you know-

Brendan Schaub 56:46 It's a different animal, right?

Joe Rogan 56:47 ... 14,000 people in a circle around you is fucking bananas. You know what? That's th- It's great. It's fun. Like, we had a great fucking time in Fort Worth last week. Goddamn, it was fun.

Brendan Schaub 56:57 Also, financially, it makes a lot of sense, too, if you can do that. Let's be honest.

Joe Rogan 56:59 It makes... You make a lot of money, but-

Brendan Schaub 57:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:01 ... but the show is a different kind of thing. Th- Like, the roars of the laughs are insane.

Brendan Schaub 57:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:06 When you crush in front of that many people, it's wild.

Brendan Schaub 57:08 And the timing's different, too.

Joe Rogan 57:10 Yeah, you have to, like-

Brendan Schaub 57:10 That's completely different.

Joe Rogan 57:11 ... pace yourself more-

Brendan Schaub 57:12 Yes.

Joe Rogan 57:12 ... because they can't hear. There's so many people laughing, and there's so many people in the room.

Brendan Schaub 57:16 You're not doing crowd work. Like, you're working that-

Joe Rogan 57:17 There's none of that. Yeah, it's-

Brendan Schaub 57:18 You can't pick on a person in the front row-

Joe Rogan 57:19 Right.

Brendan Schaub 57:19 ... 'cause the guy in the fucking 90s-

Joe Rogan 57:20 Occasionally, some shit goes down.

Brendan Schaub 57:21 Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 57:22 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 57:22 ... in general-

Joe Rogan 57:23 When I was in Boston, some lady with blue hair-

Brendan Schaub 57:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:25 ... was yelling at some guy to stop being racist.

Brendan Schaub 57:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:29 Like, in the middle of my show, I was like, "What is going on?" And it-

Brendan Schaub 57:32 You acknowledged it?

Joe Rogan 57:33 Yeah, I had to.

Brendan Schaub 57:33 You're like, "Yeah, this is too loud."

Joe Rogan 57:34 I was, like, I was closing. I was like getting ... And I'm at the fucking Boston Garden. It's a sold-out show. It's my hometown.

Brendan Schaub 57:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:40 Coming home.

Brendan Schaub 57:41 Yeah, man.

Joe Rogan 57:41 I, I sell out the fucking Garden.

Brendan Schaub 57:42 Nice.

Joe Rogan 57:42 And the end of my set, sh- Set's going great. This lady is yelling, "Fuck you, fuck you." And she's standing up and pointing at 'em. I go, "What is going on?"

Brendan Schaub 57:51 People are great. (laughs) And people are great.

Joe Rogan 57:52 They were great. And, and she goes, "Tell that guy to stop being racist." And I said, I go, I, I forget exactly how I phrased it, but it was somewhat something sent of, um, I normally would just accept the fact that this guy had probably done something wrong if it wasn't for the color of your hair.

Brendan Schaub 58:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:10 I think you might be susceptible to outrage.

Brendan Schaub 58:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:13 I was like, "You might be a little bit more, more complain-y than most."

Brendan Schaub 58:17 Man, I got blue hair.

Joe Rogan 58:18 I don't know what happened.

Brendan Schaub 58:18 Yeah, man-made.

Joe Rogan 58:19 I'm like, "We're wrapping this up."

Brendan Schaub 58:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:20 "I'm bringing this thing home."

Brendan Schaub 58:21 Yeah. You hear B- fucking Byrds playing Fenway.

Joe Rogan 58:24 That's amazing.

Brendan Schaub 58:25 They just announced it this morning.

Joe Rogan 58:26 Oh, my God. He'll sort that out.

Brendan Schaub 58:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:27 He- He's a hero in Boston.

Brendan Schaub 58:29 Bro, they, they, they put (laughs) they put him on the broadcast during the, the Red Sox game.

Joe Rogan 58:33 Oh my God, really?

Brendan Schaub 58:34 Dude, he just fucking goes in on Derek Jeter and Canadians. It's so fucking funny.

Joe Rogan 58:39 Ah!

Brendan Schaub 58:39 You could tell they didn't know what to do. They're like, "Uh..."

Joe Rogan 58:41 Well, see, he's the guy that can do that. Like, remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football?

Brendan Schaub 58:45 Yes, and got so much shit for it.

Joe Rogan 58:47 (laughs) 'Cause he tried to do jokes.

Brendan Schaub 58:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:49 He had, like, a bunch of jokes written, baby.

Brendan Schaub 58:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:52 Da-da-ta-ta, da-ra-ta-ta. And people were like, "Fuck."

Brendan Schaub 58:53 But it wasn't organic.

Joe Rogan 58:54 It wasn't organic.

Brendan Schaub 58:55 Yeah, that's the problem.

Joe Rogan 58:56 Yeah. Like, uh, somebody talked to me about that, and they were saying like, uh, "Is it hard to do comedy and commentate for the UFC?" I'm like, "Is it hard to kiss your daughter on the cheek and then hang out with your buddies and high five?" No, it's two different things.

Brendan Schaub 59:09 Completely different.

Joe Rogan 59:09 Yeah, there's-

Brendan Schaub 59:10 And you're not trying to crack jokes.

Joe Rogan 59:11 Right.

Brendan Schaub 59:12 I mean, you're a funny guy by nature, so if something pops off, whatever.

Joe Rogan 59:15 But you know what I'm saying? People have all kinds of, like, l- layers to them. There's people that are sweet to their grandmother, and you know, they're, they're rough on, uh, a guy at work that's a dick. The, you're, you're different no matter w- you know, no matter what you're doing.

Brendan Schaub 59:27 Even if some Hell's Angels out there are great dads-

Joe Rogan 59:29 Yeah. But they're great dads.

Brendan Schaub 59:29 ... to their daughters, and then they gotta collect money, dude, break some legs.

Joe Rogan 59:32 Wasn't... That was the thing in Goodfellas, right? That Joe Pesci, who's always, like, a great dad-

Brendan Schaub 59:34 Yeah, Joe Pesci, right, with his mom.

Joe Rogan 59:36 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 59:36 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, his kid. Yeah, that's right.

Joe Rogan 59:38 But i- the point is, it's like, I, I don't f- ever fucking try to be funny. It's like y- I'm just, just trying to talk about what's ha- and not sound stupid-

Brendan Schaub 59:47 Yeah, if you-

Joe Rogan 59:47 ... and trying to put, bring life to it.

Brendan Schaub 59:49 Yeah, I'm just gonna do what I do-

Joe Rogan 59:50 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 59:50 ... and if you guys think it's funny, cool, but that... I'm not, I'm not trying to be funny.

Joe Rogan 59:53 I'm not trying to be funny.

Brendan Schaub 59:53 I never come on epoxy, "Well, I better be funny this time."

Joe Rogan 59:56 Ugh. That's the thing, man. We used to do these radio shows, and, uh, they would say before you go on stage, or before you go on, on air rather, uh, a producer came backstage. I don't wanna name the show, but they're, they're good guys. They came... The producer comes backstage.

Brendan Schaub 1:00:09 He's in LA?

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 No.

Brendan Schaub 1:00:10 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 And the producer's like, "Okay, so what topics are you gonna cover so they could lead you into them?" I go, "What are you talking about?"

Brendan Schaub 1:00:16 What?

Joe Rogan 1:00:17 I go, "We're just gonna talk." And the producer goes, "What? No, you have to do your bits." I go, "Listen, man."

Brendan Schaub 1:00:21 Oh. No, no, no, no.

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 I go, "Listen, man. I'm not doing my bits."

Brendan Schaub 1:00:24 D- Nothing worse.

Joe Rogan 1:00:25 And, you know, as he, like, like, shakes his head, and, like, looks at the sky, and just walks out of the room, like, "This fucking loser." I'm like, "For real."

Brendan Schaub 1:00:32 I'd be like, "Bitch, bitch, I'm a professional, dude. I'm not fucking Ryan Seacrest."

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 We can't just talk.

Brendan Schaub 1:00:38 That I'm good, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 We can't just talk.

Brendan Schaub 1:00:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 "I'm in tow- You don't think we could just have something interesting in f- about the fact that I'm in town for the UFC and a comedy show at the local comedy club? You don't, you don't think that we can find something to talk about?"

Brendan Schaub 1:00:48 I, I think I'll be all right, man. I talk for a living. I'll navigate-

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 Let's just-

Brendan Schaub 1:00:51 ... my way through it.

Joe Rogan 1:00:52 Let's just talk. You don't need to know. "Funny thing about the zoo, Bob."

Brendan Schaub 1:00:55 Oh, d- yeah. Oh, d- yeah. "Did you say Chili's? The thing about Chili's..." Yeah, it's like, come on, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:01:00 But that's what all those late night shows essentially did. I don't know if they still do it that way, 'cause I haven't done one in forever, but, like, if you did standup on one of those shows, like, you showed them your set. They went over it with a fine-tooth comb. They changed a lot of it. They would cut out bits.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:14 Four minutes clean up.

Joe Rogan 1:01:15 Yeah, you had to do super clean.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:17 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 And then if you went to sit down next to, like, Johnny Carson, like, John... I don't know how Johnny Carson did it, but I know that, like, some of those late night talk show guys, they would have very specific things they'd want to talk to you about. You know, like, "So, uh, I heard you started riding a bike in your neighborhood."

Brendan Schaub 1:01:32 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:32 "How's that going?"

Brendan Schaub 1:01:33 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 "Ha, funny you brought that up, Jay."

Brendan Schaub 1:01:35 Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you brought that up, man.

Joe Rogan 1:01:37 (laughs)

Brendan Schaub 1:01:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:37 So you'd have to do this, like, corny bit.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:40 That was back then, though.

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:41 Ri- But then also with Johnny, right, if you'd crush it, he'd call you over to the couch.

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 Oh, my God. That-

Brendan Schaub 1:01:45 And that was big deal.

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 That was the deal. That was the deal.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:47 And now there's, like, there's no late show that does that now. Like, that's gonna-

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 No.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:52 ... blow y- Like, guys' careers just got blown the fuck up from it. There's-

Joe Rogan 1:01:55 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 1:01:55 ... nothing like that.... yeah. You know you're the close thing to Johnny Carson now, yeah?

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Yeah.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:00 Yeah, you know that. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 But that's okay. I like that job.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:02 I like helping. There's guys like Dan Soder or Normand or Shane Gillis, or like... You know, I do this podcast on a, a regular basis with, uh, Shane Gillis, Ari Shaffir, and Mark Normand.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:12 Yeah, my favorite.

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 We call it Protect Our Parks.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:14 It is the most ridiculous podcast. Last time we did it, Shane drank 14 beers.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:19 14 be- no 15, 15. It was 15 at the end.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:23 15?

Joe Rogan 1:02:23 15 beers. 15 fucking beers.

Brendan Schaub 1:02:25 I love all those guys.

Joe Rogan 1:02:26 Who