Joe Rogan Experience #1811 - Brendan Schaub

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (energetic music)

   2. BSBrendan Schaub0:12

      It's tough to keep up that NFT shit. Yeah. I bet Jai-

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Are we up?

   4. BSBrendan Schaub0:17

      I bet Jamie's into it.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      We're up and running.

   6. BSBrendan Schaub0:18

      Jamie's into it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      Jamie, uh, is aware, but you're not investing. You've got like a few weird ones.

   8. BSBrendan Schaub0:25

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:26

      You got more?

   10. NANarrator0:27

       I have one of the big ones.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       What you got?

   12. NANarrator0:30

       I have a mutant ape.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       (laughs)

   14. BSBrendan Schaub0:33

       (laughs)

   15. NANarrator0:33

       Not the biggest.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Like he says-

   17. NANarrator0:34

       I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna, like, put out there it's the biggest, but.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       ... one of the big ones. Okay, how is that a big one? Oh, by the way, this vodka, or excuse me, this whiskey you have, this, uh, tig- what is it?

   19. BSBrendan Schaub0:44

       Tiger Thick.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Tiger Thick. It's very good.

   21. BSBrendan Schaub0:47

       Thank you, brother.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       I was surprised.

   23. BSBrendan Schaub0:48

       Thank you.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       I was ready for some bullshit last night.

   25. NANarrator0:50

       (laughs)

   26. BSBrendan Schaub0:50

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       When you busted it out, I was like... Because I got offered... There was a thing that was going on with me. Salud, brother.

   28. BSBrendan Schaub0:57

       Cheers, brother.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       Very good to see you.

   30. BSBrendan Schaub0:58

       Love you, man.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   I don't know. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

   2. BSBrendan Schaub15:00

      I don't know.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Interesting.

   4. BSBrendan Schaub15:01

      But it's good, man.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      I like how most of the people were like people that you don't know their name.

   6. BSBrendan Schaub15:07

      Yes.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      You know, other than Robert Pattinson, most of the people were people you don't know. Like you don't know the Penguin's name, but he's really good.

   8. BSBrendan Schaub15:13

      Colin Farrell.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      That was Colin Farrell?

   10. BSBrendan Schaub15:15

       How, yeah, how nuts is that?

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:16

       Jesus Christ, really?

   12. BSBrendan Schaub15:17

       Isn't that nuts? Couldn't tell.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       G- You know what? I actually knew that.

   14. BSBrendan Schaub15:20

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       I forgot it. That's how good he is.

   16. BSBrendan Schaub15:22

       Right?

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:23

       Oh my God, the makeup's incredible.

   18. BSBrendan Schaub15:24

       Nuts. Dude, think about the Batmobile.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       Batmobile's pretty dope.

   20. BSBrendan Schaub15:28

       That's a, that, the, you know what? That's the ... So I saw the Batmobile, I'm like, "Well that's a-"

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       Look at that.

   22. BSBrendan Schaub15:32

       Nuts.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:32

       That's incredible, man. What kind of makeup did they do with him?

   24. BSBrendan Schaub15:37

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       I mean-

   26. BSBrendan Schaub15:37

       Dude that, that car scene with him in that, that B- Batmobile.

   27. JRJoe Rogan15:41

       Yeah.

   28. BSBrendan Schaub15:41

       If you look at the Batmobile, it's ac- actually the chassis of an old school Dodge Challenger.

   29. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah.

   30. BSBrendan Schaub15:48

       That thing's legit, dude.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Man, why do you…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

   2. BSBrendan Schaub30:00

      Man, why do you think they're there, dude? Some random Americans?

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      But, I mean, wouldn't you want this to be documented just to show... Because, like, what is wrong with making a photograph of something that's kind of important in its, uh, how crazy it is in comparison to normal funerals? Like, this is weird.

   4. BSBrendan Schaub30:18

      These-

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:19

      The, the people are all standing there, and they're, th- they're... What are they doing? Are they shooing away the vulture with those rags? What are they doing?

   6. BSBrendan Schaub30:25

      Yeah, not yet, boys.

   7. NANarrator30:26

      Well, in-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:27

      Is that what they're saying?

   9. NANarrator30:27

      In this case, in this video, this was on National Geographic, there's, uh, there's tourists that are coming to watch this.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:32

       Mm.

   11. BSBrendan Schaub30:32

       Damn, someone flew out there for this.

   12. NANarrator30:35

       Maybe they don't want them to do that. I don't know.

   13. BSBrendan Schaub30:37

       If you were in town, though...

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       ... like, if you were in town, you wouldn't go see that? Like, if you just happened to be?

   15. BSBrendan Schaub30:43

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:43

       Like, if you were doing a show and, in Tibet-

   17. BSBrendan Schaub30:46

       (laughs) Tibet.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       (laughs)

   19. BSBrendan Schaub30:47

       Hey, man, I'm on at 1:00, dude.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:48

       Hey, you know, Louie was supposed to be doing a show in Ukraine.

   21. BSBrendan Schaub30:52

       I, I talked to him about it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       That's wild.

   23. BSBrendan Schaub30:54

       Dude, this is how wild of a boy he is, because he was at the, uh, Schaub and Friends at The Improv, and he did a guest spot there and h- he was in the green room. First of all, I can't remember the last time when there was a comic on stage and all the comics in the green room walked out and watched somebody's set.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       Yeah.

   25. BSBrendan Schaub31:13

       I've seen it at the, at the store when you're on or Burr, you know, Joey Diaz. Since then, it's been years. Usually, you, you just bullshit with your buddies, you know, in the green room. And then when Louie was on, literally everyone was on the staircase at The Improv.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:26

       Mm-hmm.

   27. BSBrendan Schaub31:27

       And he just fucking absolutely cr- annihilated. And not... And then, also, I figured with, you know, what he went through, it kind of changed his game up. No, man.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:39

       Not at all.

   29. BSBrendan Schaub31:39

       He still d- w- what?

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:40

       Not at all.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   For me, the big…

   1. BSBrendan Schaub45:00

      on that when the fighter's on, but other than that, I'm, I'd say 98% of the time carnivore. Unless I cheat on the show.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      For me, the big change adding fruit was workouts. My workouts are better. I eat fruit in the morning before I work out. And I was doing a lot of fasted workouts before. And fasted workouts are fine, you get, but I really do think I get, like, a little extra juice-

   3. BSBrendan Schaub45:21

      I bet.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      ... if, uh-

   5. BSBrendan Schaub45:22

      From the sugar?

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      ... if I have some, yeah, if I have some fruit. So that's all I ever eat in the morning, is fruit. And, uh-

   7. BSBrendan Schaub45:27

      Dude, you look-

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:28

      ... hehe.

   9. BSBrendan Schaub45:28

      ... the best I've seen you look, I would say.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:29

       Thank you.

   11. BSBrendan Schaub45:30

       And also Jamie too, man. I know I was talking shit before we came in here, but-

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       It's a good life. We're living the good life out here in Texas, bro.

   13. BSBrendan Schaub45:33

       ... you boys are crushing it.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       This is, this is what freedom looks like.

   15. BSBrendan Schaub45:37

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       Ugh.

   17. BSBrendan Schaub45:38

       Yeah, no. (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       (laughs)

   19. BSBrendan Schaub45:40

       Dude, but it's so, it's so weird with comics in LA and then the comics here. It's not a LA vers Austin.

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       They make, they're making it-

   21. BSBrendan Schaub45:48

       I don't, why?

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:48

       A lot of these LA people are mad we left.

   23. BSBrendan Schaub45:51

       I mean, dude, it's, the LA scene's back and popping, dude. It's like, you know?

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       Look, I'm sure it's great. It's great. People get FOMO, man. Everybody gets FOMO. They get fear of missing out. It's normal. When someone leaves and goes and looks like they're having too much fun, it's always, "Fuck that guy."

   25. BSBrendan Schaub46:06

       Yeah, I guess because of Instagram and, like, social media, 'cause, y- you know, I d-

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       Yeah.

   27. BSBrendan Schaub46:10

       ... you know, I, I don't see Instagram or social media, but I assume you post cool shit, so people are like, "Oh, fuck that."

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:14

       I don't even hardly post anything.

   29. BSBrendan Schaub46:16

       Yeah, I don't know.

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:16

       But I-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:02:28

   He's in LA? …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      say before you go on stage, or before you go on, on air rather, uh, a producer came backstage. I don't wanna name the show, but they're, they're good guys. They came... The producer comes backstage.

   2. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:09

      He's in LA?

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      No.

   4. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:10

      Oh, okay.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      And the producer's like, "Okay, so what topics are you gonna cover so they could lead you into them?" I go, "What are you talking about?"

   6. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:16

      What?

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

      I go, "We're just gonna talk." And the producer goes, "What? No, you have to do your bits." I go, "Listen, man."

   8. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:21

      Oh. No, no, no, no.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

      I go, "Listen, man. I'm not doing my bits."

   10. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:24

       D- Nothing worse.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

       And, you know, as he, like, like, shakes his head, and, like, looks at the sky, and just walks out of the room, like, "This fucking loser." I'm like, "For real."

   12. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:32

       I'd be like, "Bitch, bitch, I'm a professional, dude. I'm not fucking Ryan Seacrest."

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       We can't just talk.

   14. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:38

       That I'm good, dude.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       We can't just talk.

   16. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:38

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       "I'm in tow- You don't think we could just have something interesting in f- about the fact that I'm in town for the UFC and a comedy show at the local comedy club? You don't, you don't think that we can find something to talk about?"

   18. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:48

       I, I think I'll be all right, man. I talk for a living. I'll navigate-

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       Let's just-

   20. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:51

       ... my way through it.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       Let's just talk. You don't need to know. "Funny thing about the zoo, Bob."

   22. BSBrendan Schaub1:00:55

       Oh, d- yeah. Oh, d- yeah. "Did you say Chili's? The thing about Chili's..." Yeah, it's like, come on, dude.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

       But that's what all those late night shows essentially did. I don't know if they still do it that way, 'cause I haven't done one in forever, but, like, if you did standup on one of those shows, like, you showed them your set. They went over it with a fine-tooth comb. They changed a lot of it. They would cut out bits.

   24. BSBrendan Schaub1:01:14

       Four minutes clean up.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:15

       Yeah, you had to do super clean.

   26. BSBrendan Schaub1:01:17

       Yep.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:17

       And then if you went to sit down next to, like, Johnny Carson, like, John... I don't know how Johnny Carson did it, but I know that, like, some of those late night talk show guys, they would have very specific things they'd want to talk to you about. You know, like, "So, uh, I heard you started riding a bike in your neighborhood."

   28. BSBrendan Schaub1:01:32

       Yeah, yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       "How's that going?"

   30. BSBrendan Schaub1:01:33

       Yeah. (laughs)

Episode duration: 3:18:34