Joe Rogan Experience #1825 - Ali Siddiq

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast.…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music plays)

   3. ASAli Siddiq0:12

      Uh, Padrons are the cigar of choice on A Short Storie. (swallows) And smoking cigars with DL so much, I know a good cigar. Oliver-

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:27

      Mm.

   5. ASAli Siddiq0:29

      ... is a good cigar.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:31

      Yeah, this is solid. I've had Cuban cigars and I know they're supposed to be better, and I believe they're good, but I do not know if they're better. I can't tell. You could lie to me and give me a-

   7. ASAli Siddiq0:42

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:43

      ... you know, you could give me a good Dominican cigar-

   9. ASAli Siddiq0:45

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       ... and I'd be like, "Damn, Cuban, nice." I don't know.

   11. ASAli Siddiq0:49

       You know what you like when you like it, you know?

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Yeah.

   13. ASAli Siddiq0:52

       Like, I like ... I drink Cabernet and you know how they come to the table and they tell you, "This valley and this and this is from this."

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       Yeah.

   15. ASAli Siddiq1:01

       And I just say, "Eh, nine ounce." And then- (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       (laughs)

   17. ASAli Siddiq1:07

       And if I like it, I like it, you know?

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       Yeah.

   19. ASAli Siddiq1:09

       But, you know, other than that...

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Uh, there was a documentary of ... Talked about this before, but there's a documentary called Sour Grapes and, uh, it's all about wine connoisseurs getting hustled by this dude who figured out how to mix wine to make it taste like old wine, and he put fake labels on them and he sold them for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Millions of dollars worth of wine, this guy sold. Like bottles for a couple $100,000. And, uh, unfortunately he sold a fake bottle to the Koch brothers.

   21. ASAli Siddiq1:38

       Oh.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:38

       And one of the Koch brothers ... Someone was, like, going through their collection going, "What the fuck is this?" And he's like, "Oh, that's a ruh ruh ruh." And like, they're like, "No it's not," and then the next thing you know it, he gets his, uh, uh, wine examined and they're like, "Bro, you're, you, you have a bunch of fake wine in here." And then they find out this one dude had been making these fake labels and, and blending these cheaper wines together to try to create a taste that's similar-

   23. ASAli Siddiq2:03

       Mm.

   24. JRJoe Rogan2:03

       ... to real expensive wine.

   25. ASAli Siddiq2:05

       That's ridiculous that, that ... Everything that he went through, he could've just made a wine.

   26. JRJoe Rogan2:14

       You'd think so, but he made millions. Millions and millions and millions of dollars.

   27. ASAli Siddiq2:18

       To hustle people.

   28. JRJoe Rogan2:20

       But he's, he come from a criminal family.

   29. ASAli Siddiq2:21

       Mm.

   30. JRJoe Rogan2:22

       Like, when they, they went into the whole family of it, like, the family ... One of the brothers had, uh, stolen a bunch of money out of a bank and like, uh, like hundreds of millions of dollars, right? Wasn't it like some insane amount of money? Do you remember that part? And, you know, he's on the run. He's hiding somewhere and like, the ... So it's like the whole family's been con artists their whole life.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   He's on high alert.…

   1. ASAli Siddiq15:00

      I'm having a mimosa, he having an orange juice, because he talking about, "I gotta stay on my toes. I don't give a fuck." Going, "You can't stay on your toes in here, man. Your toes in the water." (laughs) Man, this, this-

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      He's on high alert.

   3. ASAli Siddiq15:12

      This whole experience is not... You, you're supposed to be relaxing. The lady come in and she, she, um, put his ma- his massage chair on, and he... (laughs) You can see it, you can see him easing up on it. Before I know it, he in there asleep. (laughs) Lady doing everything to his feet, just got... She sawing them, she taking off his toes, she doing everything. She... I'm talking about, the lady took his feet off and just took him to the back with her. She was like, "Yo, it was a lot of shit going on." (laughs) She went... He walked out. He walking out, he, and he turns to me and said, "Man, goddamn. Oh, that shit was amazing, man. Got me some new feet." (laughs) That's, that's when he-

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:54

      You converted him.

   5. ASAli Siddiq15:56

      (laughs) Yeah. I'm like, "He'll be back without me. He will, he'll be back in there without me."

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:01

      Yeah.

   7. ASAli Siddiq16:01

      He know where to go.

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:02

      Yeah, but maybe. Sometimes it's hard. It's like going to the movies by yourself. It's a big leap.

   9. ASAli Siddiq16:07

      Is it?

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:08

       Some people.

   11. ASAli Siddiq16:09

       Man, I can go to the movies by myself in a heartbeat.

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       But you're a comic and you go on the road. When you go on the road, especially if you got an annoying opening act.

   13. ASAli Siddiq16:16

       Oh.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:17

       You know? If you go... (laughs) Like, if you go on the road and you're going to Cincinnati and you've never been to Cincinnati before, and they got a local guy opening for you and he's annoying, you know, and you wake up and it's 11:00 AM. You're like, "Fuck, what am I gonna do today? I'll go to the gym. No one's playing in the movies. Fuck it, I'm gonna go to the movies by myself."

   15. ASAli Siddiq16:35

       And I, and I commandeer both seats on the side of me with, with vittles. (laughs) I'm eating... Because I, if I'm going to the movies, this is not a healthy experience. (laughs) No. I'm eating all the bullshit- Yeah. ... that's in there. I want- Sour Patch Kids. I, Sour Patch Kids. I want the Twizzlers. I want a, a... And this is the only time I eat a box of fucking Thin Mints, the, them Junior Mints. Mm. I eat a box of them shits in (laughs) in the course of the movie, with nachos. I need my nachos with jalapenos. I need my popcorn with jalapenos. I put jalapenos in my popcorn. Ah, man, I just... I'm just gonna have so much bad shit. And I need it in both chairs. And I'ma sit back and I'ma watch. And, and I, and I be on high alert too in the movies sometimes, but most of the time I'm just in there relaxing. And I already have an exit plan though. Somebody coming in with some bullshit, I got a, I got a exit plan.

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:33

       This fucking kid shooting yesterday-

   17. ASAli Siddiq17:36

       Mm.

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:36

       ... is just... That's when you, when you think about exit plan. Like, people always want to think, you know, "What would I do? What would I do if something happened like that?" Like this, uh, elementary school shooting.

   19. ASAli Siddiq17:49

       Mm-hmm.

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:49

       This elementary school, it's, the more I'm reading about it, the more fucked it is. They saw him go in. The cops didn't stop them. They didn't go in after him. He was in there for 40 minutes. For 40 minutes, the parents are outside. There's video of the parents screaming at the cops, trying to get the cops to go in. Finally, border patrol gets there. Border patrol goes in and they kill them.

   21. ASAli Siddiq18:13

       ... I talked about it the day of, because it, it was, um, I'm on the radio in, in Houston, and it said, comes across shooting on Uvalde, is what it said. So immediately, we start trying to correct people because in Houston, we have a street, Uvalde. And that's what people heard, so we went in correcting it, and it's in Uvalde, Texas. And w- I- I'm, the first thing, I'm like, the s- who, who, who went to the school? Like, and why? And why are we still in this same position over and over again when we... The level of concern that we have for children is really lackluster in this country, because why does this continue to happen? And why is it no security? Why is it... why was he able to even get in the school if you looking at him and you know he doesn't go in? You d- you don't want to stop him to even ask a question? I, I'm confused of why people with these issues go to the most, like what... and it's like, why this place? Why-

   22. JRJoe Rogan19:42

       'Cause it's horrific.

   23. ASAli Siddiq19:43

       Like-

   24. JRJoe Rogan19:44

       They do it because it's the worst thing you can do. They're shooting little kids. They're going to an elementary school kid. The, you're getting like eight-year-olds, 10-year-olds.

   25. ASAli Siddiq19:53

       And-

   26. JRJoe Rogan19:53

       It's the most horrific thing. The most innocent.

   27. ASAli Siddiq19:55

       And we know that this, this, we know that this is a possibility, right? And we know that this has happened, so why don't law makers make the law allow it to be if you commit this horrific crime, if you, i- if you go any... The consequence is so dire that we, that this is the kind, this is a, like you get beheaded. This is the, once again, this is back off to like a, a-

   28. JRJoe Rogan20:24

       Yeah, but these guys wanna die.

   29. ASAli Siddiq20:26

       Like-

   30. JRJoe Rogan20:26

       That's a death sentence. They know, like if that guy's in there for 40 minutes, he's not trying to live. He's waiting for someone to come in and kill him. That's a lot of these guys, it's a suicide ru- m- run.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Bob, Bob Sanders. …

   1. ASAli Siddiq30:00

      Bob, Bob Sanders.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      ... the line. Seinfeld.

   3. ASAli Siddiq30:01

      Si- oh, Sein- man.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Dude.

   5. ASAli Siddiq30:04

      It's, it's-

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      So many people.

   7. ASAli Siddiq30:06

      It's... And, and why not, why not wanna be that-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:11

      Yeah.

   9. ASAli Siddiq30:11

      ... in comedy? Or why leave that to another entity-... oh, the, I'm on, I'm on the all-stars of this, I'm on the, I'm on th- the, the actors of that. Like, why leave it to other people in other crafts to heighten your craft?

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       Yeah.

   11. ASAli Siddiq30:27

       Why leave it to other people from other cities to say... But my, my, my biggest thing is to get the recognition from my peers. Like, when a comic calls me and says, "Man, your special, classic. Like, I'm putting it in this space."

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       Yeah.

   13. ASAli Siddiq30:47

       This is because they know the craft. There's not a... You're not a, you're not a spectator. Because to sp- to sp- (laughs) to spectators... Everybody looks good to spectators. But when the people who know the craft are looking like, "Nah, you don't know what you're looking at." Like-

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:06

       Yeah.

   15. ASAli Siddiq31:06

       ... "You don't know how special this is."

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:08

       Yeah.

   17. ASAli Siddiq31:09

       'Cause a special is supposed to be special. It's supposed to be a piece of the person. Like, and when s- uh, the, the people that call and say, "Hey, man, this is timeless," it's like, "Yo, you really put a piece of w-" Like, man.

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:26

       You did it.

   19. ASAli Siddiq31:28

       It's, it's in- it's insane.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:29

       Yeah.

   21. ASAli Siddiq31:29

       It's-

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:29

       And that's what we work towards. You think about that when you're putting your bits together, you're editing them, when you're going over them, going, "Maybe that's a little too long, or maybe I need a little something there. Maybe I need to trim that up, or maybe I need to explain that a little bit better." You want that thing to, when it gets released, you get those phone calls like, "Dude, that thing was awesome. That thing was awesome."

   23. ASAli Siddiq31:50

       From-

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:51

       And then you, and then you get, "Thank you. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. Appreciate it." And then you wanna do that to other people too, and you wanna be able to call them up and go, "Dude, your special-

   25. ASAli Siddiq31:58

       Yo.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:58

       ... was amazing."

   27. ASAli Siddiq31:59

       It was... That, and, and that's... I remember watching, I remember watching Dan Sobel's A Son to Gary, and I'm sitting there in fucking amazement. I'm like, "This shit is good."

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:13

       Yeah.

   29. ASAli Siddiq32:14

       I'm like, "Yo, this shit is fucking good." Like, "I'ma call him. This shit is fucking good."

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:18

       Yeah, feels good.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Right when I, right…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      to, to the club?

   2. ASAli Siddiq45:00

      Right when I, right when I walked in the-

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      Okay.

   4. ASAli Siddiq45:02

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      You missed the chaos.

   6. ASAli Siddiq45:04

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      It's impossible. You can't fix it. It's like me breathing underwater. It's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. There's nothing to do. You can't fix it. I mean, maybe on another time, in another state of mind, with different material, maybe she could do well. But in that moment, there was no fixing it. There's no advice to be given. She came up with a notebook.

   8. ASAli Siddiq45:25

      Oh.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:26

      Yeah. She came up with notes and panicked. Didn't have the mic close to her mouth. It was, everything was wrong.

   10. ASAli Siddiq45:32

       Everything.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       And I don't think she knew she was gonna go up until, like, right before Ron went up. Ron told her that he's gonna bring ... "I'm gonna bring you up. I'ma bring you up." 'Cause aft- he come in the back room with ... This is the f- this was the first problem. He goes, "She's a really good writer." Ooh.

   12. ASAli Siddiq45:46

       No, shit.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Don't say that. This is what I wanna hear, "She's fucking hilarious. She's fucking hilarious."

   14. ASAli Siddiq45:52

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:52

       "Can she do a guest set?" Okay. I didn't ... Well, "Friend of mine, is a really good writer." I'm like, "Ooh."

   16. ASAli Siddiq45:58

       Mm.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       "Okay. What else? How is she at delivering this writing?"

   18. ASAli Siddiq46:03

       Yeah, I, I don't think any of my, any of my friends I've ever said that they ... Bryson Brown is from Austin. (coughs) He's fucking hysterical. Like, I'm like, that's how I introduce him. Like, "Yo, this is Bryson Brown, he's fucking hysterical."

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:17

       Yeah, you want a-

   20. ASAli Siddiq46:17

       "He can grab a guest spot."

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:18

       ... a overall assessment of their ability on stage. Not like a, of the little tiny area that they're good at.

   22. ASAli Siddiq46:26

       Um-

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:26

       It's an important area, being a good writer, very important, but without delivery and timing and presence and every- it's ... Are you good?

   24. ASAli Siddiq46:35

       Hey, um, she's a good setup.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:37

       This-

   26. ASAli Siddiq46:37

       She set up jokes excellent.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:39

       She set up Tony.

   28. ASAli Siddiq46:40

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:40

       Tony destroyed that lady. That ruthless little motherfucker. There is no one alive that you want a bomb in front of when you're gonna bring up like Tony.

   30. ASAli Siddiq46:50

       Mm-hmm.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00

   That's nice. …

   1. ASAli Siddiq1:00:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      That's nice.

   3. ASAli Siddiq1:00:01

      And we just went on a... And, and the, the crazy thing is when people know that they coming to see you do the journey.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Yeah.

   5. ASAli Siddiq1:00:10

      And it, it's weird 'cause the people who came... 'Cause I did th- I did it during the weekend that I was there, so the people who saw me, saw the show on Thursday and Friday is like, "That shit didn't happen." (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      (laughs)

   7. ASAli Siddiq1:00:22

      So, so then the two, the people who saw it on Saturday got the whole Hollywood-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

      Right.

   9. ASAli Siddiq1:00:28

      ... thing, 'cause, you know, Eric Abrams, the same person who shot my stuff for, um, Comedy Central and, um, This Is Not Happening with, um, Ari, I got, I, I got them. I, I wanted that look. And Eric is a fucking great director, like...... it, it, it's really not about him. It's about what you want, and he just suggests shit, like, "Uh, what do you, what do you think about, what do you think about this?" And like, I wasn't thinking about it, but now, now I am. You know? (laughs) And so, and then he just suggests, like, "Do you really need that?" And you're like, "I don't." And it comes together. Him and, him and Jordan, Jordan did the, the lights and, it, it looks like... That was one of the things, and then especially when somebody notices it, when my guy called me and said, "Man, let me tell you the most amazing shit. It looks like a class- it looks like 1985." I'm like-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       Pull it up, Jamey. Lemme see-

   11. ASAli Siddiq1:01:33

       I will.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:33

       Lemme see the video. 'Cause there, there's something about, get a, get a, get a look at it. Like, look at, man, that's classic. Classic comedy club. It's perfect. Perfect size stage, perfect intimacy with the crowd. I was thinking that, man, 'cause I just did Stand-Up Live with, uh, Tony. I did a guest set. I was not-

   13. ASAli Siddiq1:01:52

       It-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:52

       ... even supposed to be there.

   15. ASAli Siddiq1:01:53

       In, in, in Phoenix?

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:54

       Phoenix, yeah.

   17. ASAli Siddiq1:01:55

       I fucking love that club.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:57

       I fucking love that club. And I was there, and I was thinking, "Goddamn, maybe I should film my fucking special here."

   19. ASAli Siddiq1:02:02

       Yo.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:02:03

       It's so good.

   21. ASAli Siddiq1:02:04

       It, it's, it's some, it's some comedy clubs that I think that are set up so perfect.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:02:10

       Mm-hmm.

   23. ASAli Siddiq1:02:12

       Man, stand-up, Stand-Up Live in Phoenix, Zanies in Nashville.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:02:19

       Yes.

   25. ASAli Siddiq1:02:19

       Oh, fucking-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:02:20

       Yes, Zanies in Nashville is flawless.

   27. ASAli Siddiq1:02:22

       Oh, my God, it's a great club.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:24

       Goddamn, it's good.

   29. ASAli Siddiq1:02:26

       Levity Live in, um, West Nyack.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:29

       Yep, yep.
6. 1:15:00 – 1:21:41

   (laughs) …

   1. ASAli Siddiq1:15:00

      "Yo, why does she have on boots with these shorts?" Like, this shit is fucking ...

   2. NANarrator1:15:03

      (laughs)

   3. ASAli Siddiq1:15:04

      (laughs) But it (laughs) like-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:15:05

      Y- you know what I wanna go to that I haven't been to? The Kentucky Derby.

   5. ASAli Siddiq1:15:10

      I was in town one time when the Kentucky Derby was happening.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:15:12

      I heard it's wild.

   7. ASAli Siddiq1:15:14

      Could not find ... I, I, I had to stay in, um, across the river. Like, it was no hotels in town. I was trying to stay at The Sill BACH and all that. They're like, "No." Uh. And it was so ritzy. Like, I didn't get a chance to go, but I would love to go to watch it.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:15:31

      I heard it's wild. I had no interest until I read The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved by Hunter S. Thompson. I read that and I was like, "Jesus Christ." And his depiction of all these rich, fucked up people gambling and, and, and betting on these horse races-

   9. ASAli Siddiq1:15:48

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:15:48

       ... and what the, the, the scene is like. That it's this wild social scene of these decadent, depraved people all getting together. And I was like, "Oh, my God. I gotta go." I need to book a gig around it.

   11. ASAli Siddiq1:16:03

       Our, our, our interest in the same thing comes from so far different places. (laughs) Like, like, like you wanna go to the ... I hear all the rich people doing so much. I wanna-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:16:14

       I wanna see the chaos.

   13. ASAli Siddiq1:16:15

       I wanna go to the Kentucky Derby because the first 15, when I read about the Kentucky Derby, how it started, the first 15 were all won by African American jockeys. And how the purse came about and the history of it, and that's why I wanna go (laughs) 'cause like-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:16:33

       Really?

   15. ASAli Siddiq1:16:35

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:16:35

       I wanna see the chaos. Well, I'm a giant Hunter S. Thompson fan, you know? And so like, when I read his writing about it, it just like brought me there. Like, I could, I w- I was appreciating his appreciation of the, the s- just the fucking scene, just the wild scene of it all, and how crazy it was of him as a writer, as a journalist going there to cover it, and he's covering it on acid and he's all fucked up and they're drinking all day and, you know.

   17. ASAli Siddiq1:17:01

       (sighs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:17:01

       And, and Hunter's writing was always like that. It was always this wild mixture of pure exaggeration and fiction with fact and reality, and like a, an assessment of the social dynamics, like a, a psychological examination of the people that were involved.

   19. ASAli Siddiq1:17:18

       When did he write about it?

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:17:20

       (sighs) That was one of the first pieces that he did befo- I v- believe he did that before he did his big Sports Illustrated piece, which turned out to be Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

   21. NANarrator1:17:29

       1970.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:17:30

       Yeah. So that was-

   23. ASAli Siddiq1:17:32

       Yeah. They had, they had merged with that one-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:17:33

       And then Fear and Loathing was when?

   25. NANarrator1:17:36

       No, I didn't have that.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:17:37

       I think Fear and Loathing was his breakout thing. They hired him ... I feel like they hired him for Sports Illustrated to go and write about like a-

   27. NANarrator1:17:45

       '71 is when that was published.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:17:47

       Yeah.

   29. NANarrator1:17:47

       So that was like the same time.

   30. ASAli Siddiq1:17:49

       And-

Episode duration: 3:05:38