Joe Rogan Experience #1834 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand

Protect Our Parks 4 - Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comedians, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker. His special "Shane Gillis: Live in Austin," is available via YouTube. Mark is the co-host of "Tuesdays with Stories" along with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. His latest special, "Mark Normand: Out to Lunch," is available via YouTube. Ari is the host of "The Skeptic Tank." His most recent special, "Ari Shaffir: Double Negative," is available via Netflix.

Joe RoganhostAri ShaffirguestMark NormandguestShane GillisguestGuestguest

Jun 27, 20243h 18mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,005 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. NANarrator
  (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  I might have to take a shit in the middle of this podcast.
4. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, it's great. Do it in your shirt.
5. MNMark Normand
  Be nice to take a break.
6. SGShane Gillis
  We won't trash you while you're gone.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  I might.
8. MNMark Normand
  (clears throat)
9. ASAri Shaffir
  Take a shit.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Are we ready?
11. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
12. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, that wasn't on?
13. JRJoe Rogan
  That should have been the opening. (laughs)
14. SGShane Gillis
  That was the opening, man. That was gold.
15. MNMark Normand
  That was a great opening.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  I, was that, were you recording when I said that? Yeah, but I don't know-
17. ASAri Shaffir
  Perfect.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  ... what camera was on.
19. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
20. MNMark Normand
  You wanna know what camera was on?
21. SGShane Gillis
  We're in, folks.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  That's fine. That's fine.
23. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
24. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm just telling, if you, if I leave in the middle of the podcast, I'm like, "Oops."
25. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
26. JRJoe Rogan
  "Be right back, boys."
27. MNMark Normand
  Damn it.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  I sharted my pants in the pool yesterday.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  I just wanna let everybody know that I ... Did you?
30. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
15:00 – 30:00
I'm not sure what…
1. GUGuest
  man with a reverse Hitler mustache drinking Bud Lights.
2. I'm not sure what could be more woke.
3. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, reverse Hitler. It's true.
4. GUGuest
  Reverse Hitler. Reverse Hitler mustache.
5. SGShane Gillis
  You're going the other way.
6. GUGuest
  Yeah. That was Milo's best moment, was when he told those girls, like, they were like, "You can't talk, you're, we're talking about women." And then when they were just like, "We're talking about men right now, you need to shut up."
7. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
8. GUGuest
  And he gave them the go away. It was like, damn.
9. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
10. GUGuest
  They were so mad.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  They shut that guy down, huh?
12. GUGuest
  Oh, yeah.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Interesting.
14. GUGuest
  Wouldn't let him speak.
15. Yeah.
16. Wouldn't let him be anywhere.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  No, but I mean now. I mean, he's like Marjorie Taylor Greene's intern.
18. SGShane Gillis
  No.
19. GUGuest
  Who's that?
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
21. SGShane Gillis
  That's hilarious.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes, yes.
23. GUGuest
  She's fucking nuts.
24. SGShane Gillis
  She's cuckoo.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  She's cuckoo nuts.
26. GUGuest
  She's out of control.
27. Who is that? Who is that?
28. JRJoe Rogan
  She's QAnon nuts. Alex Jones told me he was partying with her.
29. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
30. GUGuest
  Jesus Christ. (laughs)
30:00 – 45:00
Yeah. …
1. JRJoe Rogan
  long to get on the T because everybody was leaving, so the T was crowded.
2. GUGuest
  Yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  And so, uh, me and my- my friend Jimmy was like, we were like 14. And, uh, I walked up this, uh, this street and, uh, there was a karate school, a Tae Kwon Do school. And I went up the stairs, and right when I was going up the stairs, there was this guy named John Lee. Oh, yeah, get it, it's Jimmy. And he was, uh, national champion. He was training for the World, uh, Cup. And I- I got to watch him prepare, like, I just walked in as a, you know, a bystander.
4. GUGuest
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  And I- I walked in, like, at the peak of his training, at the top of his game, you know, national champion. I got to see what he could do. I was like, "Holy fuck, I wanna do that."
6. GUGuest
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  He was kicking his bag.... and I remember just being flabbergasted.
8. GUGuest
  The leg kick-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  But it was because of my love of, of baseball. Huh. Baseball brought me into martial arts. Isn't that wild? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10. GUGuest
  The leg kick, the leg kick does make you wanna do it.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  That's a good look.
12. GUGuest
  When you see, when you hear that fa-fump!
13. When you were fu-... With any video you post of you fucking hitting the bag, I'm like, "Goddamn, dude."
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Huh. Yeah. It's fun.
15. GUGuest
  No, you've never seen a leg kick until you see him kick Eleanor in the butt. (laughs)
16. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
17. GUGuest
  (laughs)
18. She would, like, do it, and he would go, "Woo-ka!"
19. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
20. GUGuest
  Who?
21. Eleanor Kerrigan. It would make this (claps) sound.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It was- Oh, shit. That was with the foot though. That was more of, like, a loud noise-
23. GUGuest
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  ... than an actual-
25. GUGuest
  (laughing) That's pretty awesome.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  It didn't hurt her.
27. GUGuest
  She would just laugh.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  See what he was doing.
29. GUGuest
  She would just die laughing.
30. Are you, are you hitting this week?
45:00 – 59:26
That's not bad. …
1. GUGuest
  years.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  That's not bad.
3. GUGuest
  How did they decide on that?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay, look at your game, girl. Look at your game, girl.
5. NANarrator
  (laughs)
6. JRJoe Rogan
  I hate your garbage, man.
7. NANarrator
  Oh, shit.
8. GUGuest
  There's a time for every time.
9. Yeah, he rules.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  He rules.
11. NANarrator
  Free swastika.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, you know the whole story behind Manson.
13. GUGuest
  A time so fine.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Manson actually thought he was gonna get a recording deal with Brian Wilson of the-
15. GUGuest
  Yeah.
16. NANarrator
  Whoa.
17. GUGuest
  The Beach Boys.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  They, like... They became tight. I believe it's Brian Wilson.
19. GUGuest
  Yeah, he was tight.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  There was like... He knew-
21. NANarrator
  He's nutty.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  ... music producers. They think it had something to do... I forget the details.
23. GUGuest
  That turned him crazy.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  But it had something to do with, like, one of the murders. Like, he was threatening people because-
25. GUGuest
  They were like, "Hey, man. It's... I know it's pre-cancel culture, but you can't be murdering a bunch of people."
26. NANarrator
  (laughs)
27. JRJoe Rogan
  This is not bad. This is not that bad.
28. GUGuest
  No, listen.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Let me hear more.
30. GUGuest
  Living in the confusion. Frustration and doubt. Can you ever live without.

Episode duration: 3:18:13

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(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

I'm not sure what…

Yeah. …

That's not bad. …

Get more out of YouTube videos.