Joe Rogan Experience #1834 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand

1. 0:00 – 0:39

   Cold open chaos: bathroom threats, sharts, and getting the mics rolling

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      I might have to take a shit in the middle of this podcast.

   4. ASAri Shaffir0:16

      Yeah, it's great. Do it in your shirt.

   5. MNMark Normand0:17

      Be nice to take a break.

   6. SGShane Gillis0:18

      We won't trash you while you're gone.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      I might.

   8. MNMark Normand0:20

      (clears throat)

   9. ASAri Shaffir0:21

      Take a shit.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Are we ready?

   11. MNMark Normand0:23

       (laughs)

   12. ASAri Shaffir0:24

       Oh, that wasn't on?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       That should have been the opening. (laughs)

   14. SGShane Gillis0:26

       That was the opening, man. That was gold.

   15. MNMark Normand0:28

       That was a great opening.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       I, was that, were you recording when I said that? Yeah, but I don't know-

   17. ASAri Shaffir0:31

       Perfect.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       ... what camera was on.

   19. SGShane Gillis0:31

       Yeah.

   20. MNMark Normand0:32

       You wanna know what camera was on?

   21. SGShane Gillis0:33

       We're in, folks.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       That's fine. That's fine.

   23. MNMark Normand0:35

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       I'm just telling, if you, if I leave in the middle of the podcast, I'm like, "Oops."

   25. SGShane Gillis0:38

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       "Be right back, boys."

   27. MNMark Normand0:39

       Damn it.

2. 0:39 – 1:47

   Four Seasons pool shart story and the start of the drinking scoreboard

   1. ASAri Shaffir0:39

      I sharted my pants in the pool yesterday.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:41

      I just wanna let everybody know that I ... Did you?

   3. ASAri Shaffir0:42

      Yeah.

   4. SGShane Gillis0:42

      He sharted in the pool?

   5. MNMark Normand0:43

      It was ugly?

   6. ASAri Shaffir0:44

      (laughs) No, right next to it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:45

      What?

   8. SGShane Gillis0:45

      He had a gurgler.

   9. ASAri Shaffir0:46

      I was like ... (gurgling) And I just sat there.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Oh, no.

   11. ASAri Shaffir0:49

       Yeah, I sat there-

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Where was this, hotel?

   13. ASAri Shaffir0:50

       Yeah. (laughs)

   14. SGShane Gillis0:51

       It sounded like an old car.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       In the Four Seasons?

   16. ASAri Shaffir0:52

       Mm-hmm.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       Oh, no, that's not a good place to shart.

   18. MNMark Normand0:55

       (laughs)

   19. SGShane Gillis0:55

       Actually, it was great.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       That's a respectable establishment.

   21. ASAri Shaffir0:57

       No one else was there.

   22. SGShane Gillis0:57

       Did you get back in the pool?

   23. ASAri Shaffir0:59

       I did not get back in the pool.

   24. MNMark Normand1:00

       (laughs)

   25. SGShane Gillis1:00

       You let it wash itself out.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:02

       He gave, he gave it a quick wipe. (laughs)

   27. SGShane Gillis1:03

       It's a giant bidet.

   28. MNMark Normand1:05

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       He gave it a quick wipe and wiped right back in.

   30. ASAri Shaffir1:06

       I had that tight underwear, it kept it all in. The one that got the sheath, the sheath underwear, it kept it all in.
3. 1:47 – 3:20

   Reverse-Hitler mustache, old Hollywood casting, and “who’s allowed to play what?”

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:47

      Your mustache seems like you're losing hair here.

   2. ASAri Shaffir1:49

      (laughs)

   3. MNMark Normand1:50

      It's the reverse Hitler.

   4. SGShane Gillis1:50

      (laughs)

   5. MNMark Normand1:51

      Don't worry about it, dude. That's how not racist I am.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:54

      He heils like this. He goes down.

   7. SGShane Gillis1:56

      (laughs)

   8. MNMark Normand1:56

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:59

      What is going on with this? Did you do that on purpose?

   10. MNMark Normand2:01

       I don't know. Don't worry about this. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:03

       (laughs)

   12. MNMark Normand2:03

       You didn't do it on pur- that's just natural, right? (laughs)

   13. SGShane Gillis2:04

       It's very Asian, like an old, old Asian guy.

   14. MNMark Normand2:06

       Yeah, it's reparation.

   15. SGShane Gillis2:07

       Fu Manchu. He should be sitting on a box, peeling something.

   16. JRJoe Rogan2:09

       It's like John Wayne when he played Genghis Khan.

   17. MNMark Normand2:12

       Oh, that was great.

   18. SGShane Gillis2:13

       (laughs)

   19. MNMark Normand2:13

       They couldn't, that's the closest they get to Asian, so like, "Eh, just get a cowboy."

   20. JRJoe Rogan2:16

       "I'll tell you what, I'm on a roll all the way to Beijing."

   21. SGShane Gillis2:20

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       Have you ever seen John Wayne play Genghis Khan?

   23. MNMark Normand2:22

       Yeah, it's crazy.

   24. JRJoe Rogan2:22

       It's ... They didn't even try.

   25. MNMark Normand2:24

       No.

   26. JRJoe Rogan2:24

       They didn't even pretend.

   27. MNMark Normand2:24

       He's just a white dude, he's like, "I'm Genghis Khan."

   28. SGShane Gillis2:26

       (laughs)

   29. MNMark Normand2:26

       Put some eye makeup on him, a little ...

   30. SGShane Gillis2:29

       There's a couple, Andy Rooney, was it? He did the Breakfast at Tiffany's. (Chinese accent) "Oh, hello." All that shit.
4. 3:20 – 5:45

   Trans surgery rabbit hole, trans porn logic, and why porn used to show the guy’s face

   1. SGShane Gillis3:20

      ... where you at on the trans? You, you know, you can't play a trans person now unless you're trans.

   2. JRJoe Rogan3:25

      Yeah.

   3. SGShane Gillis3:25

      Which seems weird.

   4. ASAri Shaffir3:26

      You could ... You should just get a, a fucking pass if you suck a dick.

   5. JRJoe Rogan3:30

      That's all you gotta do?

   6. ASAri Shaffir3:30

      Yeah, half, halfway.

   7. JRJoe Rogan3:31

      But a lot of trans-

   8. SGShane Gillis3:32

      All right, Shane, you're in.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:33

      ... a lot of trans women-

   10. MNMark Normand3:34

       (laughs)

   11. ASAri Shaffir3:34

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:34

       ... a lot of trans women, uh, still have sex with women.

   13. SGShane Gillis3:38

       That's true.

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:40

       And they keep their dicks.

   15. ASAri Shaffir3:41

       They're lesbos.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:42

       Which I recommend you keep your dick.

   17. SGShane Gillis3:44

       Yes.

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:44

       You know, like, I've been paying attention to the operations. I, I went down-

   19. MNMark Normand3:48

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:48

       ... a rabbit hole (exhales) because I had a guest who had a friend who had a operation, and it was a disaster.

   21. MNMark Normand3:54

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:54

       They, they transitioned, and then, and then she started explaining to me all the issues that happen with it, including, like, growing hair inside, because they-

   23. MNMark Normand4:03

       Oh, no.

   24. SGShane Gillis4:03

       Inside?

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:03

       ... tucked inside and then you grow hair inside.

   26. ASAri Shaffir4:06

       Hm.

   27. MNMark Normand4:06

       Oh, boy.

   28. SGShane Gillis4:07

       Probably feels good.

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:07

       I mean, I don't, I don't think so.

   30. ASAri Shaffir4:09

       And then what?
5. 5:45 – 9:55

   Porn economics → data tracking, browser privacy, and Google search curation

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:45

      I used to have a guy in my neighborhood, uh, lived right down the street from me during the, the golden days when they sold DVDs. This guy was balling outta control. He had a phat Mercedes, lived in a beautiful house, and, uh-

   2. SGShane Gillis5:56

      The bootlegs.

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:56

      ... he was making all this money.

   4. ASAri Shaffir5:57

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:57

      But then ... No, no, no, he was making his own.

   6. SGShane Gillis5:59

      Oh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan5:59

      He was a producer.

   8. SGShane Gillis6:00

      Oh.

   9. ASAri Shaffir6:00

      Oh, nice.

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:00

       But then digital came along. The internet came along-

   11. MNMark Normand6:03

       Ruined it.

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:03

       ... and took the fucking legs out of that company.

   13. SGShane Gillis6:06

       Oh, yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:07

       That business went-... kaput. I mean, the, the, the government bailed out all kinds of companies. They never, there was never a peep about bailing out the porn industry.

   15. GUGuest6:17

       Yeah.

   16. SGShane Gillis6:17

       Hmm, interesting.

   17. GUGuest6:18

       Good one.

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:19

       You know? But everybody's pretending they don't u-... It's-

   19. GUGuest6:22

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:22

       Porn is a weird thing, like people pretend they don't watch it.

   21. SGShane Gillis6:25

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:25

       But it's literally-

   23. GUGuest6:26

       (burps)

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:26

       ... billions of people watch it.

   25. GUGuest6:27

       The biggest company.

   26. SGShane Gillis6:28

       Billions.

   27. GUGuest6:29

       The biggest industry.

   28. SGShane Gillis6:29

       They show the views now. It's like eight million, nine million.

   29. GUGuest6:32

       My mom doesn't watch it. Every video?

   30. SGShane Gillis6:34

       Yeah.
6. 9:55 – 12:58

   Depp–Heard trial: hot lawyers, PR disasters, and ‘believe all women / believe no actress’

   1. SGShane Gillis9:55

      Yeah, apparently Johnny Depp put a lot of dough into social media and that helped everybody realize that Heard was a koos.

   2. GUGuest10:01

      Wow. (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan10:02

      I don't think that's what happened.

   4. SGShane Gillis10:04

      Oh, oh, that's what I heard. I donated.

   5. JRJoe Rogan10:07

      Do you feel bad for her at all?

   6. SGShane Gillis10:09

      Well, she lied.

   7. JRJoe Rogan10:10

      She definitely lied.

   8. GUGuest10:11

      Yeah, I feel bad for anybody who gets in that... It's like they're both losers out of it.

   9. SGShane Gillis10:14

      She shou- How did she get drawn into that? Did she have to go to court?

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:18

       She's hot. She's being hot.

   11. SGShane Gillis10:19

       No, no, yeah, no I mean-

   12. GUGuest10:20

       That's pretty...

   13. SGShane Gillis10:20

       Did she have to do that?

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:22

       She had to. Yeah.

   15. SGShane Gillis10:23

       Oh, okay.

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:23

       He sued her. He sued her for defamation.

   17. SGShane Gillis10:25

       She said he hit her.

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:26

       She wrote an article which turned out she didn't write the article, the ACLU wrote the article.

   19. GUGuest10:31

       What?

   20. JRJoe Rogan10:31

       Yeah. The ACLU ghostwrote the article in exchange for her donating money-

   21. GUGuest10:36

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan10:36

       ... that she never gave them.

   23. SGShane Gillis10:37

       (laughs)

   24. GUGuest10:37

       Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that was good.

   25. JRJoe Rogan10:38

       She pledged it.

   26. SGShane Gillis10:39

       Pledged.

   27. GUGuest10:39

       Yeah, pledge. Pledge is not a promise.

   28. SGShane Gillis10:41

       It's a cleaner. What a good promise.

   29. JRJoe Rogan10:42

       Did you see that, that woman interviewing her after the fact? She did an interview after the court was over and it was even worse.

   30. GUGuest10:49

       No, I didn't see it. What'd she say? Oh, it's the best.
7. 12:58 – 15:36

   Woke backlash, workplace petitions, and comedy-world ‘bullying’ dynamics

   1. JRJoe Rogan12:58

      Well, it just exposes the, the weirdness of woke 'cause it's not consistent or logical. Doesn't, it doesn't make any sense sometimes.

   2. SGShane Gillis13:05

      Right.

   3. GUGuest13:05

      It's a team.

   4. SGShane Gillis13:06

      It's what you choose.

   5. GUGuest13:06

      It's just a team.

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:07

      Well yeah, it is, it is.

   7. GUGuest13:08

      They can't figure it out.

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:09

      It's also people that are cowards and they're terrified of someone coming after them, so they wanna be on the right side that's the most aggressive.

   9. SGShane Gillis13:16

      Uh-huh.

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:16

       And the most aggressive side is the woke side.

   11. SGShane Gillis13:18

       But will it flip?

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:19

       It's flipping. It's flipping already, if you look at the elections. I mean, there's, there's places that were, like, historically Democrat that are going red now 'cause people are freaked out. They're freaked out at schools, they're freaked out about l- uh, ideology, they're freaked about the workplace and-

   13. SGShane Gillis13:34

       Gas prices.

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:35

       And also, like, look at what happened with SpaceX. SpaceX just, uh, a bunch of employees just organized to try to... They wanted to do something about Elon Musk, try to get Elon Musk to step down from space.

   15. SGShane Gillis13:46

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan13:46

       Literally something he founded.

   17. GUGuest13:48

       It's fucking low- low to nothing.

   18. JRJoe Rogan13:48

       They tried to get him... They were saying that he's, uh, he's damaging them by being on Twitter and they were trying to get people to sign this petition. And so they-

   19. GUGuest13:56

       Are you crazy, going after your boss publicly?

   20. JRJoe Rogan13:58

       ... f- they fired, they fired the people and they said that they were bullying people to try to get them to sign a petition that they didn't wanna sign. So, they-

   21. GUGuest14:05

       Oh, right.

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:06

       ... w- which is what they do. They scare people.

   23. GUGuest14:07

       You should sign this. You should sign it. They're like, ugh.

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:09

       Yeah, be on the right side of history. They thought they could push him out.

   25. SGShane Gillis14:12

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:12

       You know, they're like, "What he's doing with, with Twitter is wrong." And...

   27. GUGuest14:15

       The people that... They were doing this, uh, they protested Louie at some comedy club, all the local comics. And then when it was o- like, shouldn't, don't support this club. And then, uh, and then afterwards they're like signing up for spots at the club and the owner was like, "No."

   28. SGShane Gillis14:28

       You're mean.

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:28

       (laughs)

   30. GUGuest14:28

       You guys told people not to support my business.
8. 15:36 – 18:29

   Marjorie Taylor Greene, QAnon, and why conspiracies ‘end at the Jews’

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:36

      She's QAnon nuts. Alex Jones told me he was partying with her.

   2. SGShane Gillis15:38

      (laughs)

   3. GUGuest15:39

      Jesus Christ. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:39

      They all went to dinner and had drinks.

   5. GUGuest15:40

      Who is she? Who is she?

   6. She says she's wild.

   7. (laughs)

   8. I believe it. She does anal, no doubt about it.

   9. She is wild, dude.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       You think so?

   11. GUGuest15:44

       Oh, she is a freak.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       Ass to mouth, yes or no?

   13. GUGuest15:46

       Yeah, easily. Jewish space laser-

   14. (laughs)

   15. ... right up the pooper.

   16. Who is she?

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:50

       What did you say, Jewish space lasers?

   18. SGShane Gillis15:52

       That's her thing.

   19. GUGuest15:52

       Didn't you say that Jews had space lasers or something?

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       She's wild.

   21. SGShane Gillis15:54

       She actually said that publicly, that Jews have space lasers.

   22. GUGuest15:56

       She got hit... I got some friends that succumb to Q, also.

   23. SGShane Gillis15:59

       Listen... Really?

   24. GUGuest15:59

       Yeah, it's the best.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:59

       No, they don't.

   26. GUGuest16:00

       Yeah.

   27. SGShane Gillis16:01

       Really?

   28. GUGuest16:01

       They, they believe Q.

   29. It's the best.

   30. Now they're like, "Fuck."
9. 18:29 – 21:49

   R. Crumb deep dive: underground comics, shock art, and instant cancelability

   1. JRJoe Rogan18:29

      Oh, pull them up.

   2. GUGuest18:30

      Genesis-

   3. JRJoe Rogan18:30

      R. Crumb. You know R. Crumb?

   4. GUGuest18:31

      Yeah, yeah. He did a whole thing on the Bible.

   5. JRJoe Rogan18:33

      Bro, R. Crumb, what, uh, th- his... I watched his documentary. They did a documentary on him in like '99, '98, something like that. And I, I've seen it before, but I watched it again the other day. Holy shit was his stuff nuts. He had some stuff about this family that, uh, you know, stays together because they fuck.

   6. GUGuest18:51

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan18:51

      What? And like in the cartoon, it's like the guy mouth fucking his daughter and-

   8. GUGuest18:56

      He went hard.

   9. JRJoe Rogan18:57

      Oh, Jesus Christ. Wait, who is this guy? R. Crumb.

   10. GUGuest18:59

       R. Crumb. He's a cartoonist.

   11. JRJoe Rogan19:00

       He's a cartoonist?

   12. GUGuest19:00

       No, I know. Yeah, but what, what do I know him for?

   13. JRJoe Rogan19:03

       He did Genesis. He did a... But he was already famous when he decided to do the Bible. He did some famous-

   14. GUGuest19:06

       But he has this big buxom like, like figure-

   15. JRJoe Rogan19:08

       Wait, what? He did Genesis? He's a very famous-

   16. GUGuest19:10

       Yeah, he did the whole bible in this style.

   17. JRJoe Rogan19:11

       ... Sega underground, uh, comic book guy.

   18. GUGuest19:15

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan19:15

       Who back in the day, like he, he dropped acid and then all of a sudden he started doing these like really weird surrealist cartoons. And art, beautiful. And the women all had like giant legs and giant asses. Like that's his thing.

   20. GUGuest19:28

       Real buxom, buxom.

   21. JRJoe Rogan19:28

       Yeah. And so a lot of women were like really happy that he did this because he made them hot. Right. Because like he was a superstar back in, like the '70s. Really?

   22. GUGuest19:38

       He was on late night talk shows.

   23. JRJoe Rogan19:39

       Yes. What?

   24. GUGuest19:40

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan19:40

       Oh, yeah. He's a really, really interesting guy who would not stand... He, he moved to France-

   26. GUGuest19:45

       Yeah, the laid back, like, uh-

   27. JRJoe Rogan19:47

       He moved to France-

   28. GUGuest19:48

       ... keyboard trucker.

   29. JRJoe Rogan19:48

       But if, if he lived today like he would last for like five minutes before he'd be canceled. Like look at- Whoa! Look at how he's banging that girl and choking her. That's hot.

   30. GUGuest19:55

       Wow, that's pretty hot.
10. 21:49 – 29:47

    Cigars, bottles, ‘no bosses’ life, and the anatomy of nonstop riffing

    1. JRJoe Rogan21:49

       I took a, I took six weeks off drinking. How long are you willing to drink? We won't need the case. Good for you. I, I very admire- R.E.'s. I very much admire your work ethic, the way you handled preparing for your special. It was very impressive.

    2. GUGuest22:00

       Thanks. (laughs)

    3. JRJoe Rogan22:00

       He didn't do any boozing. (laughs) I offered him weed, he said nay. He said nay to the weed.

    4. GUGuest22:05

       Wow, nay to the weed?

    5. JRJoe Rogan22:07

       Why? I drank some NAs while, while I was here in Austin. Not alcoholic. During the week at the creek. Yeah, I got to blend in.

    6. GUGuest22:11

       That's all for show, the NAs.

    7. JRJoe Rogan22:13

       No, no, no. He did it. Yeah, he did it. I was trying to get my skin looking good for my special. It looks good. Is, is that what the idea was?

    8. GUGuest22:18

       Dude, I saw myself in a bathroom in, in Vail and it was bad. (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan22:22

       That's booze.

    10. GUGuest22:23

        Sunken eyes, bro.

    11. JRJoe Rogan22:23

        It's sitting in ya.

    12. GUGuest22:24

        Just flasking all day and drinking all night.

    13. JRJoe Rogan22:26

        Not sleeping.

    14. GUGuest22:26

        And I'm like, "Oh."

    15. JRJoe Rogan22:27

        The fat face, it's real.

    16. GUGuest22:28

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan22:28

        With the booze, you're puffed up. Oh, yeah. Tell Burt. Tell Burt. Someone tell Burt. (laughs) Speaking of which, can you throw over that BT? Yeah. Whoa, you're getting in.

    18. GUGuest22:38

        There you go.

    19. JRJoe Rogan22:38

        Look at this kid. Told you. You know this. No, no, don't, don't, don't. Jesus Christ. (laughs) Come on, I played little league. (sighs) (laughs)

    20. GUGuest22:45

        (laughs)

    21. JRJoe Rogan22:46

        That's a JRE special bottle.

    22. GUGuest22:49

        (laughs) There we go.

    23. JRJoe Rogan22:49

        They made us a, yeah, they made us a barrel. Buffalo Trace made us a barrel. That's nice. It actually has the logo on it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So we're drinking JRE Buffalo Trace and smoking JRE Foundation cigars.

    24. GUGuest23:01

        Those Foundation cigars are the shit.

    25. JRJoe Rogan23:03

        They're fucking very good, right?

    26. GUGuest23:04

        We're taking a trip out there. We're getting ready to go see the, like the farms and stuff.

    27. JRJoe Rogan23:07

        Oh, yeah. Nick's-

    28. GUGuest23:08

        Nick and Bobby.

    29. JRJoe Rogan23:08

        Nick's awesome. The, the... What they're doing over there is really cool. And the, like when he made me a cigar I was very skeptical. I was like, "You're making me a cigar?" I thought it was a novelty cigar. Yeah, but it's a damn good cigar. It's very good. Like I go right to him. He knows his shit, you know. Cigars are like wine or like anything else. Like the people that really... Like Bobby.

    30. GUGuest23:25

        Bobby Kelly, yeah.
11. 29:47 – 36:26

    Joe’s martial arts origin story and comedians doing pro wrestling

    1. JRJoe Rogan29:47

       And then leaving a baseball game is how I really got into martial arts.

    2. GUGuest29:51

       Leaving a baseball game?

    3. Fist fight?

    4. JRJoe Rogan29:52

       Yeah, no, I was leaving Fenway Park.

    5. GUGuest29:54

       You mean a karate fight?

    6. JRJoe Rogan29:54

       No, leaving Fenway Park and, uh, I was walking-

    7. GUGuest29:56

       And then the fight broke out like usual? (laughs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan29:58

       No. I- I was... We were bored and it took too long to get on the T because everybody was leaving, so the T was crowded.

    9. GUGuest30:03

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan30:03

        And so, uh, me and my- my friend Jimmy was like, we were like 14. And, uh, I walked up this, uh, this street and, uh, there was a karate school, a Tae Kwon Do school. And I went up the stairs, and right when I was going up the stairs, there was this guy named John Lee. Oh, yeah, get it, it's Jimmy. And he was, uh, national champion. He was training for the World, uh, Cup. And I- I got to watch him prepare, like, I just walked in as a, you know, a bystander.

    11. GUGuest30:26

        Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan30:27

        And I- I walked in, like, at the peak of his training, at the top of his game, you know, national champion. I got to see what he could do. I was like, "Holy fuck, I wanna do that."

    13. GUGuest30:36

        Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan30:36

        He was kicking his bag.... and I remember just being flabbergasted.

    15. GUGuest30:40

        The leg kick-

    16. JRJoe Rogan30:40

        But it was because of my love of, of baseball. Huh. Baseball brought me into martial arts. Isn't that wild? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    17. GUGuest30:45

        The leg kick, the leg kick does make you wanna do it.

    18. JRJoe Rogan30:47

        That's a good look.

    19. GUGuest30:48

        When you see, when you hear that fa-fump!

    20. When you were fu-... With any video you post of you fucking hitting the bag, I'm like, "Goddamn, dude."

    21. JRJoe Rogan30:52

        Huh. Yeah. It's fun.

    22. GUGuest30:53

        No, you've never seen a leg kick until you see him kick Eleanor in the butt. (laughs)

    23. JRJoe Rogan30:57

        (laughs)

    24. GUGuest30:57

        (laughs)

    25. She would, like, do it, and he would go, "Woo-ka!"

    26. JRJoe Rogan31:00

        (laughs)

    27. GUGuest31:00

        Who?

    28. Eleanor Kerrigan. It would make this (claps) sound.

    29. JRJoe Rogan31:03

        It was- Oh, shit. That was with the foot though. That was more of, like, a loud noise-

    30. GUGuest31:06

        Yeah.
12. 36:26 – 42:20

    Dictators on stimulants and modern politics as slapstick (Hitler, Churchill, Queen, Biden fall)

    1. JRJoe Rogan36:26

       You guys ever see the video... You ever see the video of Hitler at the '36 Olympics tweaking on meth?

    2. GUGuest36:31

       No.

    3. JRJoe Rogan36:31

       What? It's amazing. Pull it up.

    4. GUGuest36:34

       (laughs)

    5. JRJoe Rogan36:34

       He's just sitting there, like, rocking back and forth.

    6. GUGuest36:36

       Oh, my God.

    7. (laughs)

    8. Like, can barely keep it together.

    9. JRJoe Rogan36:37

       Oh, and just flying. He's like, "Goddamn it." I mean, he's gacked out of his... And notorious meth user. Sure they all were.

    10. GUGuest36:44

        What?

    11. JRJoe Rogan36:44

        Yeah. Yeah.

    12. GUGuest36:45

        That was, like, my favorite Bill Burr.

    13. JRJoe Rogan36:46

        You didn't know that?

    14. GUGuest36:47

        No.

    15. That was my favorite Burr bit.

    16. All I knew is he liked to shut his chest shirt off.

    17. JRJoe Rogan36:49

        He had a bit about Hitler?

    18. GUGuest36:50

        Burr, Burr had a bit about Hitler. And then he's like, "Can you imagine getting in a limo-"

    19. JRJoe Rogan36:55

        ... with an even angrier Hitler after that race.

    20. SGShane Gillis36:58

        Right.

    21. JRJoe Rogan36:58

        Like, after he sat there and watched-

    22. SGShane Gillis36:59

        Oh, wow.

    23. JRJoe Rogan37:00

        ... Owens fucking torture him.

    24. SGShane Gillis37:01

        Oh.

    25. JRJoe Rogan37:01

        He, like, puts down his foam finger and he's like ... (babbles) (laughs)

    26. SGShane Gillis37:04

        Look at him. Look at him there, tweaking.

    27. JRJoe Rogan37:06

        Whoa!

    28. SGShane Gillis37:08

        Isn't that wild?

    29. GUGuest37:09

        Wow.

    30. JRJoe Rogan37:10

        Damn.
13. 42:20 – 50:00

    Assassins with acoustic guitars: Hinckley songs, Manson music, and MKUltra rabbit holes

    1. JRJoe Rogan42:20

       Speaking of assassinating, you know, Hinckley just got out of jail.

    2. SGShane Gillis42:23

       He's doing shows?

    3. JRJoe Rogan42:24

       He's completely-

    4. GUGuest42:24

       Hinckley's the GOAT, dude.

    5. JRJoe Rogan42:25

       Well, he's, he's doing-

    6. SGShane Gillis42:26

       (laughs)

    7. JRJoe Rogan42:27

       ... shows but the first venue that had him in Brooklyn, they canceled.

    8. SGShane Gillis42:30

       I saw that.

    9. JRJoe Rogan42:30

       'Cause they were getting so many death threats.

    10. SGShane Gillis42:32

        I had tickets.

    11. JRJoe Rogan42:33

        Who? Old people?

    12. SGShane Gillis42:34

        (laughs)

    13. GUGuest42:35

        I, I would see Hinckley. That'd be hilarious.

    14. SGShane Gillis42:36

        He's a good musician. His, his songs are pretty solid.

    15. JRJoe Rogan42:40

        Really? Wait, what?

    16. SGShane Gillis42:40

        Yeah, pull 'em up.

    17. JRJoe Rogan42:41

        All right, pull 'em up.

    18. GUGuest42:41

        He had a lot of time.

    19. SGShane Gillis42:43

        Hell yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan42:43

        He had a lot of time to work on songs.

    21. SGShane Gillis42:44

        (laughs)

    22. JRJoe Rogan42:44

        Now, Hinckley's good at singing? Yeah.

    23. SGShane Gillis42:45

        It's solid, yeah. It's like singer songwriter type stuff.

    24. JRJoe Rogan42:48

        You're not thinking about Manson? No, no, no.

    25. SGShane Gillis42:50

        Marilyn?

    26. JRJoe Rogan42:51

        No. Manson has good songs. Here we go. Here we go.

    27. SGShane Gillis42:53

        Oh, really?

    28. JRJoe Rogan42:53

        Here we go. Let's get ch- let's get some. Oh. Let's get some John Hinckley.

    29. SGShane Gillis42:55

        Oh, shit.

    30. NANarrator42:56

        You're doing great. Um, so- He looks like Farr from, uh, Super Troopers. (laughs)
14. 50:00 – 59:54

    Conspiracy overload: Oklahoma City bombing, Tower 7 arguments, and the unreliability of eyewitnesses

    1. GUGuest50:00

       True. (laughs) No, you MKUltra'd him. (laughs) By the way, you ever see what happened to that cop in Oklahoma City?

    2. JRJoe Rogan50:06

       Oh, no.

    3. GUGuest50:07

       What cop? The shooter? What? No, this, this big fucking black dude that was ... He was like the first cop on the scene. Boy, did they suicide that guy.

    4. JRJoe Rogan50:15

       What are you talking about?

    5. GUGuest50:17

       Oh.

    6. JRJoe Rogan50:17

       Uh, there's a cop that was like first on the scene at Oklahoma City that like, they- Timothy McVeigh? The, the bombing?

    7. GUGuest50:23

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they, they said it was a suicide. You know.

    8. JRJoe Rogan50:27

       Terrence Hickey-

    9. GUGuest50:28

       Don't look into that. Don't look into that dude's autopsy.

    10. JRJoe Rogan50:30

        ... was a sergeant in the Oklahoma City Police Department, who was one of the first responders at the site of the Oklahoma City bombing, rescuing at least four people. He died a year after his rescue service. Hickey was found to have committed suicide.

    11. GUGuest50:42

        That's a suicide.

    12. JRJoe Rogan50:42

        Oh, uh-oh.

    13. GUGuest50:42

        They found, like- Why? Dude, like why, why not believe it? Uh, look up his autopsy, if you can, Joe. It's wild. What did he say? A year later he was talking?

    14. JRJoe Rogan50:51

        Well, just find an article that says he ... And, and don't find any that refutes it, please.

    15. GUGuest50:55

        Yeah. This is fun. (laughs) So he was at the ... He was at the bombing, and then he saw what really happened.

    16. JRJoe Rogan50:59

        Apa- apparently, apparently he got into the ca- uh, he, apparently when he, the first thing he said to his wife was like, "They're not telling the story at all-"

    17. GUGuest51:05

        Oh, boy.

    18. JRJoe Rogan51:05

        "... of what happened." And then he got fucking ... Well, you know, there was multiple bombs-

    19. GUGuest51:10

        But why did they wait a year for him to talk?

    20. JRJoe Rogan51:10

        ... allegedly removed from that building. And the, the, when you look at the way the building blew up, this is like one of the granddaddies of conspiracy theories, is uh, the Oklahoma City bombing, that there's more to the story. Because if you look at the building itself, what does, what does it say there, Jim?

    21. GUGuest51:25

        Hold on, I'm just gonna wait 'til you finish that one.

    22. JRJoe Rogan51:25

        Okay. When you look at the building itself, um, they said it was a fertilizer bomb, which they do make, they're real. And that they parked this truck at the base of the building and blew it up. But if you look at the building, the building's blown outward.

    23. GUGuest51:37

        Whoa.

    24. JRJoe Rogan51:37

        Like it's blown out. Now, I'm obviously not a fucking bomb expert, but I talked to one. And he-

    25. GUGuest51:42

        You should see your act. (laughs)

    26. JRJoe Rogan51:45

        (laughs) He can't stop himself.

    27. GUGuest51:48

        Keep going.

    28. JRJoe Rogan51:49

        Ba-dum-bum.

    29. GUGuest51:49

        I need some levity. (laughs)

    30. JRJoe Rogan51:50

        If you look at ... If you ... It did need levity.

Episode duration: 3:18:13