Skip to content
The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1838 - Brian Simpson

Brian Simpson is a standup comedian and host of the podcast "BS with Brian Simpson." He's also on Season 3 of The Standups streaming on Netflix.

Joe RoganhostBrian Simpsonguest
Jun 27, 20242h 34mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:0015:00

    (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast,…

    1. NA

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. NA

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

    3. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Uh, well, I appreciate that you're committed to this fucking Android thing.

    4. BS

      (laughs)

    5. JR

      I have a lot of friends that, uh, that they send me the green text and every now and then one will show up blue. They give up and they jump on the iPhone train. I'm like, "Interesting."

    6. BS

      I can't do it, man.

    7. JR

      No? Why?

    8. BS

      I-

    9. JR

      What is it about it?

    10. BS

      I (clears throat) because I, it's one of those things where I'm so into my tech and shit.

    11. JR

      Yeah.

    12. BS

      And if you, if I go iPhone, then I gotta go Apple everything.

    13. JR

      Why?

    14. BS

      Because they're, because that's the, that's the whole advantage of going Apple is that it, it all just works together so well because they're on their own little ecosystem, you know?

    15. JR

      What's the advantage of not going Apple?

    16. BS

      Uh, customization.

    17. JR

      Oh, okay. But you, you're not... Are you using the phone with other stuff? Does it integrate with other stuff?

    18. BS

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      The way an iPhone does?

    20. BS

      Because I have, I have a Samsung phone, Samsung tablet, Samsung Watch.

    21. JR

      Oh.

    22. BS

      You know, and if I go iPhone then I gotta get an Apple Watch, I gotta get-

    23. JR

      Oh.

    24. BS

      ... a, uh, iPad, you know?

    25. JR

      What's better?

    26. BS

      (sighs) Um...

    27. JR

      Have you fucked with Apple stuff?

    28. BS

      Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

    29. JR

      Yeah?

    30. BS

      I used to... I've had iPhones.

  2. 15:0030:00

    That's still- …

    1. JR

      as big as I thought.

    2. BS

      That's still-

    3. JR

      I thought it was, like, 300 kilometers.

    4. BS

      The third and most recent mass de-

    5. JR

      Maybe that's, like, what all, whatever the volcanic activity is under the surface, but whatever it is, it's a super volcano that every 6 to 800,000 years blows. And when it blows, it kills everything.

    6. BS

      Right, and we're overdue.

    7. JR

      Yeah, we're in that range. We're 600,000 years ago-

    8. BS

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      ... plus in that range.

    10. BS

      Is- isn't it wild that... And- and this, 'cause I fight, I fight, 'cause you hear me say cynical shit all the time.

    11. JR

      If it's funny, you'll say it.

    12. BS

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      (laughs)

    14. BS

      But- but- but I... (laughs)

    15. JR

      You know, you don't say cynical shit 'cause you're a cynical dude, though. You say cynical shit 'cause it's a funny thing to say.

    16. BS

      You know what it is? It's a constant fight. It's like I, because my reflex is cynicism.

    17. JR

      Yes.

    18. BS

      And I'm try- and I'm trying not to be, but- but it's like, it's hard because you would think after s- the pandemic, like after something that affected everybody-

    19. JR

      Right.

    20. BS

      ... that we would realize that, like, all our little petty shit don't really matter, like...

    21. JR

      Well, some of us do. You do. I do.

    22. BS

      Right.

    23. JR

      A lot of people do.

    24. BS

      But it's by- but it's like ev- it's like I honestly believe if some, if some global, like say there was an asteroid headed towards Earth like a, like a- a species ender.

    25. JR

      Right.

    26. BS

      Congress would still be debating about some shit. You know what I mean? When it was- when it was like, "I want..." Neil- Neil deGrasse Tyson would be sitting over here going, "Guys, we need to fucking do something now. Here's the..." Him and Elon would be like, he- Elon would be like, "I've- I've- I've designed the rocket." You know, and- and-

    27. JR

      (laughs)

    28. BS

      ... they just need funding, and- and- and Congress would be still playing, like, the political game.

    29. JR

      Yeah.

    30. BS

      You know? Yeah.

  3. 30:0045:00

    And yet, these people…

    1. NA

      gathering looks more romantic. It sells more deodorants through the advertising probably. That's why your Hollywood producers are so crazy about James Bond type of, of thrillers. But in reality, the main emphasis of the KGB is not in the area of intelligence at all. According to my, uh, opinion and opinion of many defectors of my caliber, only about 15% of time, money and manpower is spent on espionage as such. The other 85% is a slow process, which we call either ideological subversion or active measures, (Russian) in the language of, of the KGB, or psychological warfare. What that basically means is, to change the perception of reality of every American...... to such an extent that despite of the abundance of information, no one is able to come to sensible conclusions in the interest of defending themselves, their families, their community and their country. It's a great brainwashing, uh, process which goes very slow and it's divided in, in four basic stages. Uh, the first one being demoralization. It takes from 15 to 20 years to demoralize a nation. Why that many years? Because this is the minimum number of years which requires to, uh, educate one generation of students in the country of, of, of your enemy, exposed to the ideology of the enemy. In other words, Marxism-Leninism ideology is being pumped into the soft heads of, of, of at least three generations of American students without being challenged or counter-balanced by the basic values of Americanism, American patriotism. The result? The result you can see. Most of the people who graduated in '60s, drop-outs or half-baked intellectuals are now occupying the positions of power in the government, civil service, business, mass media, educational system. You are stuck with them. You cannot get rid of them. They are contaminated. They are programmed to think and react to certain stimuli in a certain pattern. You cannot change their mind even if you, if you expose them to authentic information, even if you prove that white is white and black, uh, uh, uh, is black, you still cannot change the basic perception and the logical behavior. In other words, these people, uh, uh, the process of demoralization is complete and irreversible. To get rid society of these people, you have, you need another 20 or, or, or 15 years to educate a new generation of patriotically-minded and, and, and, uh, commons- commonsense people who would be acting in favor and in the interest of, of the, uh, of the United States society.

    2. NA

      And yet, these people who have been programmed and as you say, in place-

    3. NA

      Yes.

    4. NA

      ... and who are favorable to an opening with the Soviet concept-

    5. NA

      Mm-hmm.

    6. NA

      ... these are the very people who would be marked for extermination in this country?

    7. NA

      Most of them, yes.

    8. NA

      Mm-hmm.

    9. NA

      Uh, uh, simply because the psychological shock when, when they will see in future what the, what the beautiful society of equality and social justice means in practice, obviously, they will revolt. They, they, they will, uh, they'll, they will be very unhappy, frustrated people. And the Marxist-Leninist regime does not tolerate these people. Uh, they, obviously, they will join the links of dissenters-

    10. NA

      Mm-hmm.

    11. NA

      ... dissidents.

    12. NA

      Yes.

    13. NA

      Uh, unlike in present United States, there will be no place for dissent in, in future Marxist-Leninist America. Uh, here, you can, you can get, uh, popular like, uh, Daniel Ellsberg and filthy rich like Jane Fonda for being dissident, for criticizing your Pentagon. In future, these people will be simply squashed like cockroaches. Nobody is going to pay them nothing for their beautiful noble ideas of equality. This they don't understand and, uh, it will be greatest shock for them, of course. The demoralization process in United States is basically completed already, uh, for the last 25 years. Actually, it's over-fulfilled because, uh, demoralization now reaches such areas where previously not even Comrade Andropov and, and all his experts would, would even dream of such a tremendous success. Most of it is done by Americans to Americans thanks to lack of moral standards. As I mentioned before, uh, exposure to true information does not matter anymore. A person who was demoralized is unable to assess true information. The facts tell nothing to him. Uh, even if I shower him with information, with, with authentic proof, with documents, with pictures, even if I take him by force to the Soviet Union and show him concentration camp, he will refuse to believe it until he, he is going to receive a kick in the, in his fat bottom. When the military boot crashes his... then he will understand, but not before that. That's the tragic of the situation of demoralization.

    14. NA

      What the fuck?

    15. NA

      So basically, America is stuck with, with demoralization and unless... Even if, if you start right now, here this minute, you start educating new generation of American, it will still take you 15 to 20 years to turn the tide of, uh, of ideological perception of reality, uh, back to norma- nor- normalcy and, and, uh, patriotism. The next stage is destabilization. This time, subverter does not care about your ideas and the patterns of your consumption. Whether you eat junk food and get fat and flabby doesn't matter anymore. This time, and it takes only from two to five years to destabilize a nation, uh, it's... Uh, what, what matters is essentials, economy, foreign relations, defense systems. Uh, and you can see quite clearly that in some areas, uh, in such sensitive areas as, as, uh, defense and economy, uh, the influence of Marxist-Leninist ideas in United States is absolutely fantastic. I, I could never believe it 14 years ago when I landed, uh, in this part of the world that the process will go that fast. Uh, the next stage, of course, is crisis. It, it, it may take only up to six weeks to, to bring a country to the verge of crisis. You can see it in, in Central America now. And after crisis, with the violent change of, of power, structure and economy, you have so-called the period of normalization. It may last indefinitely.Normalization is a cynical expression borrowed from Soviet propaganda. When the Soviet tanks moved into Czechoslovakia in '68, Comrade Brezhnev said, "Now the situation in brotherly Czechoslovakia is normalized." This is what will happen in United States if you allow all these shmucks to bring the country to crisis, to promise people all kind of goodies and the paradise on earth, uh, to s- to destabilize your, uh, economy, to eliminate the principle of free market competition, and to put a Big Brother government in Washington, D.C. with the benevolent dictators like Walter Mondale who will promise lots of thing, never mind whether the promises are fulfill-able or not. He will go to Moscow to kiss the bottoms of, of new generation of Soviet assassins, never mind. He will create false illusions that the, uh, situation is under control. Situation is not under control. Situation is disgustingly out of control. Most of the American politicians, media, and educational system trains another generation of people who think they are living at a peacetime. False. United States is in the state of war, undeclared total war against the basic principles and the foundations of, of this system. And, and the initiator of this war is not Comrade Andropov, of course. Uh, it's, it's the system. However ridiculous it may sound, the world communist system or the world communist conspiracy, whether I scare some people or not, I don't give a hoot. Uh, if, if you are not scared by now, nothing can scare you. But you don't have to be paranoid about it. What, what actually happens now that, unlike myself, you have literally several years to live on unless United States wake up. The, the time bomb is ticking. With every second, the disaster is coming closer and closer. Unlike myself, you will have nowhere to defect to, unless you want to live in Antarctica with penguins. This is it. This is the last country of freedom and, and possibility.

    16. NA

      Okay, so what do we do? What is your recommendation to the American people?

    17. NA

      Well, uh, the re- uh, the, um, the immediate thing that comes to my mind is, of course, there must be a very strong national effort to educate people in, uh, in, in the spirit of real patriotism, number one. Number two, to, to explain them the real danger of socialist, communist, whatever, welfare state, Big Brother government. If people will fail to grasp the impending danger of that development, nothing ever can help United States. You may kiss goodbye to your freedom, including freedoms to, to homosexuals, to, uh, prison inmate. All these freedom will vanish, evaporate in, in five seconds, including your precious lives. Um, the second thing I... The moment at least part of United States population is convinced that the danger is real, they have to force their government... and I'm not talking about sending letters, signing petitions, and all this beautiful noble activity. I am talking about forcing United States government to stop aiding communism, because there is no other problem more burning and, and urgent than to stop the Soviet military-industrial complex from destroying what is, whatever is left of the free world. And it is very easy to do. No credits, no technology, no money, no political or diplomatic recognition, and of course no such idiocy as grain deals to USSR. The Soviet people, 270 millions of, of Soviets will be eternally thankful to you if you stop aiding a bunch of murderers who sit now in Kremlin, and whom President Reagan respectfully calls government. They do not govern anything, least of all such complexity as the Soviet economy. So basic... two, two very simple, maybe too simplistic answers or solutions, but never- nevertheless, they are the only solutions. Educate yourself, understand what's going on around you. You are not living at a time of peace. You are in a state of war, and you have precious little time to save yourself. Um, you don't have-

    18. NA

      Okay.

    19. NA

      ... much time. It's-

    20. BS

      Wow. (exhales) I was be- I was expecting-

    21. JR

      Now, that's from, like, the '80s.

    22. NA

      1984.

    23. JR

      1984.

    24. BS

      Also-

    25. JR

      So what he's basically talking about was they embedded these kind of educators in place, and they somehow or another were responsible for, like, putting psychological warfare on people. And that sounds hard to believe, right? How... I mean, how could someone get through the, the process of becoming a PhD and all that stuff? But what doesn't sound hard to believe is that they do it with social media, 'cause they 100% do. So this is not a new tactic that they devised. The, the, the tactic of getting us to lose faith in our country, in our government, in, in, uh, in our process, they've been doing that forever, but they have a sophisticated way of doing it now-

    26. NA

      Yeah.

    27. JR

      ... through the internet, because-

    28. NA

      It's crazy.

    29. JR

      ... they, they have programs and they have people and they have farms where they just propagandize and do things. Did I ever tell you about that? There's a lady named Renee DiResta. She's been on the podcast before, and she researched this.

    30. NA

      Yeah.

  4. 45:001:00:00

    Yeah. …

    1. JR

      I have like 100 of those. (laughs)

    2. Yeah.

    3. BS

      Yeah, 'cause it's a, it's... 'Cause also too it's like, it's, um, it's cultural in a way that... 'Cause like if you showed, if you showed a Greta Thunberg meme to somebody in, I don't know, a, a, a, you know, somewhere where they wouldn't know who she was-

    4. JR

      Right.

    5. BS

      ... it, the joke would really, it wouldn't really hit, you know?

    6. JR

      Exactly.

    7. Yeah, it wouldn't make sense five years ago.

    8. It wouldn't make sense.

    9. BS

      It's like the shared, the memes are like this shared-

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. BS

      ... thing.

    12. JR

      Well, it has to be something that, that everybody understands, a thing.

    13. BS

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      Like who the person is or what the thing is. But yeah-

    15. BS

      But you know what? Sometimes-

    16. JR

      Look at this one. "We just had a fat line, and you're waiting for your turn to tell a story?"

    17. (laughs)

    18. BS

      (laughs) No, you s- you-

    19. JR

      Yeah.

    20. BS

      ... y- y- you know, these, these, uh... (laughs) Dude, I've had some that fucking tr-... There was one where, um... I saw one where it was DMX, um, DMX's head on Professor X's body. And it, and it was like, "Y'all gonna make me use my mind."

    21. JR

      (laughs)

    22. BS

      And I, I, I swear I laughed at it like 50 times that day.

    23. JR

      (laughs) Joe, you've become big in the golf meme community.

    24. BS

      (laughs)

    25. JR

      Nice. How did I get-

    26. Oh, they, they used you a lot.

    27. Nice.

    28. Multiple times.

    29. BS

      Really?

    30. JR

      Yeah, yeah. I see them. I mean, I follow those around. Like I see them-

  5. 1:00:001:11:28

    Mm-hmm. …

    1. JR

      ... 'Cause some guys have said to me that when they're fighting, especially like, you know, you've gone a few rounds and your hands are tired, the gloves are actually almost trying to open your hand. Like it takes an effort to close your fist.

    2. BS

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JR

      As opposed to like right now, my f- there's no effort to close my fist. But with those gloves, you kind of have to make a little bit of an effort. And then also you have the padding of the, the, you know, the, the hand wraps and all that stuff. So it's kind of your hands almost want to extend. But Trevor's gloves are already turned over, like your hand is turned into a knuckle position naturally.

    4. BS

      Okay.

    5. JR

      And then on top of that, the density of the foam is r- way better.

    6. BS

      So-

    7. JR

      I think it'll have way less hand brakes.

    8. BS

      So why, why won't the UFC?

    9. JR

      (sighs) I don't know. That's why I'm talking about it-

    10. BS

      Uh-huh. (laughs)

    11. JR

      ... trying to get them to get off their ass. It's the best ... They're the best gloves. We should only have these gloves. It will show ... I mean, there was like some sort of a, like a they were trying to make a deal and they didn't do it. That's ... Is that his glove? Yeah, that's a white one. That's, uh, I have his, uh, other stuff. They're, uh, they're black. See if you can go to his website, but that's a good-

    12. I go- I do. Every time I go to the website, it really just is showing the boxing stuff a lot, so-

    13. Oh, well, his boxing-

    14. Mm-hmm.

    15. ... stuff is awesome too. His gloves are the shit. They're really, really good. But that glove that I have on my hand is way superior to any other glove that I've ever felt. The Pride glove is pretty good, but I think that's better. And you could still grapple with it. You could still do everything with it. I use his bag gloves too. He's got fucking amazing, amazing stuff.

    16. BS

      Yeah, I guess, I guess ... (sighs) Yeah, man, I ... It's always money. It's always a money thing.

    17. JR

      Maybe. I don't know. Who the fuck knows? Maybe it's too expensive to build. I don't know. That doesn't make any sense to me. I just like-

    18. BS

      I'm with you.

    19. JR

      We should use the best shit. We're the best organization.

    20. BS

      I agree.

    21. JR

      Why don't we use the best shit? That's the best shit. See, that-

    22. BS

      Does any- does anyone use the Whitman gloves?

    23. JR

      I don't think so. I mean, Trevor's-

    24. BS

      What's that?

    25. JR

      You know, he's a mad genius. He figured it out on his own. You want some coffee?

    26. BS

      Oh. No, no, no, no.

    27. JR

      No?

    28. BS

      I thought it was whiskey.

    29. JR

      Oh, you want some whiskey?

    30. BS

      Yeah, yeah.

Episode duration: 2:34:56

Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript

Transcript of episode jWcQvbSwFa0

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.

Add to Chrome