Joe Rogan Experience #1843 - Paul VIrzi

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:02

      (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music) Tell me when you're ready.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      I'm ready.

   3. NANarrator0:14

      Okay. Oh, we'll have that rolling, Paul Verzin. What the fuck?

   4. PVPaul Virzi0:18

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      So, tell me the UFO story.

   6. PVPaul Virzi0:20

      (laughs) All right. Um, well, first, I'm going to tell you about my dad real quick.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:25

      Okay.

   8. PVPaul Virzi0:25

      My dad is Sicilian to the fuck... He... Born and raised Bronx, okay? Grew up in the 1960s in the Bronx. Always has to dress nice, you know. Very materialistic. A man needs a watch.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:40

      (laughs)

   10. PVPaul Virzi0:41

       A man needs shoes. Okay? Me and my brother were in the car one time. My father would do this shit. We were young. He shouldn't have, but he would be like, he'd be like, "Look at that. You see that? That's a fucking disgrace." He'd be like, "That's a man in a Honda." You know?

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       (laughs)

   12. PVPaul Virzi0:54

       And he'd be like, "Th- th- there's kids in that fucking car." Like, like that.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Wow.

   14. PVPaul Virzi0:58

       1982 Jaguar XJ6, black, white leather. Dressed to the nines. You know, everybody's crazy but him.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       (laughs)

   16. PVPaul Virzi1:06

       "Fucking, they're crazy. Fucking..." Right? So, tells me and my brother a story. To this day, the story's not changed, and he told me he wished he never saw what he saw. 1973, my mother is pregnant with my older brother, Christian. Uh, he's five years older than me. Okay? So, uh, she's pregnant with him. They're outside in Yonkers. There's a little grass lot. And my aunt, grandmother, and mother are out there, and they're screaming, "Tommy, you got to come out here! You got to come out here." So, the way my father tells this story, he goes, "I'm watching TV. What the fuck?" You know? "I- I don't want to be bothered." He goes, "I go outside," and he said, "Paul," he said, "sitting where I could throw a rock or shoot my gun at it, there is a fucking..." And the way he s- he said flying saucer, which is fucking hilarious, but he goes, "There's a fucking flying saucer," and he said, "it's got a blue tint around it, little port holes, but you could barely see. Quiet. Quiet as can be." And he said they were all... And he said the time was weird. The time of night was weird. It was like that weird time where the sun's going down, you don't know. He said the timing of it was weird, and he said his time perception during it was, was very, something was off with the time. And he said he thought, he said, "Holy shit, I could fucking shoot my gun at this thing." But then he goes, he goes, "Then I freaked out because I don't know if this thing's reading my fucking mind, so I went inside."

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:20

       (laughs)

   18. PVPaul Virzi2:21

       'Cause he thought that it might've been... So, he went inside, he looked again. He went outside, they looked at it, they were stunned, and he said, "And like that, it turned into a dot in the sky." Uh, he said, "Like that, it turned into a star like that." And he says, to this day, exactly the same thing. He goes, "Paul, I always used to think those people were fucking nuts." He goes, "All those people, I thought they were fucking hillbillies somewhere in the Midwest just trying to get attention." He goes, "I know what the fuck I saw." And he goes, "And I wish I didn't see it because I still dream about it and I know what the fuck I saw and I know it wasn't from here. That's 100% true."

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:51

       What year was this?

   20. PVPaul Virzi2:52

       1973.

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:53

       '73.

   22. PVPaul Virzi2:54

       And then I Googled 1973 Yonkers, and many people saw something.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:59

       Ah.

   24. PVPaul Virzi2:59

       But it was right above them.

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:01

       Look at this. Man says, "1973 UFO incident turned life upside down."

   26. PVPaul Virzi3:05

       Mm-hmm.

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:05

       Wow. I'm not surprised.

   28. PVPaul Virzi3:09

       No.

   29. JRJoe Rogan3:09

       That thing, it probably looked just like that. That one right there.

   30. PVPaul Virzi3:12

       That's what, that, yes. Yeah, he a- when... It's funny, 'cause when he describes it, it looks like that. Uh, like in my mind, that's what he said it looked like, and that's what I always thought about. That right there. But he said that it was gone in, like, he said he couldn't believe. He said my m- and my mother's very, like, religious, so the other day, we had a party and somebody... Might've actually been Yiannas. He goes, "I, you know, I got to, I've got to find out. Can I talk... Can..." And he, and she goes-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   And he was. …

   1. PVPaul Virzi15:00

      So imagine that guy on 'roids.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      And he was.

   3. PVPaul Virzi15:02

      Imagine... (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      Yeah.

   5. PVPaul Virzi15:04

      Yeah, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      Yeah, he was. Yeah.

   7. PVPaul Virzi15:04

      But he, but he was that guy, he was that guy before.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      Mm-hmm.

   9. PVPaul Virzi15:08

      And then he was on it.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:09

       Right.

   11. PVPaul Virzi15:09

       So now, there's Barry Bonds, Monster Barry Bonds. (laughs) No injuries. No, you know, nothing's gonna stop him. Hand-eye coordination better.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:17

       Right.

   13. PVPaul Virzi15:17

       More power. That guy.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       Yeah, I mean, how many... They all did it, right? Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, they were all on the sauce.

   15. PVPaul Virzi15:26

       You could kinda look at the ones that did a certain way 'cause they were square.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       (laughs)

   17. PVPaul Virzi15:30

       I was in a fucking elevator with Gary Sheffield. That was like... He was like a book dresser.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       (laughs)

   19. PVPaul Virzi15:34

       He was like a fucking... He was just, just... There... You could tell that these guys were just different.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:38

       I met Canseco in 1986. I was, uh, a fitness trainer at, uh, the Boston Athletic Club. I'd, like, teach people how to lift weights and shit. And, uh-

   21. PVPaul Virzi15:50

       Oh, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       ... Jose Canseco came in, at like the peak of his popularity. He was a fucking-

   23. PVPaul Virzi15:55

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       ... giant.

   25. PVPaul Virzi15:56

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       He was so big.

   27. PVPaul Virzi15:58

       (laughs) Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       I, I couldn't believe how big he was. Like, I, I knew he was... You know, you see him on TV, he's an athlete-

   29. PVPaul Virzi16:03

       Mm-hmm.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:03

       ... but you see him in real life, he's like 260 pounds.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      all very supportive of each other.

   2. PVPaul Virzi30:01

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      Everybody is out there telling stories on the road and doing their thing and having a good time. And-

   4. PVPaul Virzi30:07

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      ... and t- saying, "Hey, you gotta go see Mark Normand. Hey, Shane Gillis is fucking killing it." And then, anybody who hears, you hear it on Twitter, you hear it on Instagram, and that's the real industry now. The industry is live-

   6. PVPaul Virzi30:17

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:17

      ... standup and then recording live standup so people can see how good your shit is. That- that exists still.

   8. PVPaul Virzi30:22

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:22

      But it only exists with us. We are the industry now.

   10. PVPaul Virzi30:26

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:26

       There's no more gatekeepers. That shit's gone.

   12. PVPaul Virzi30:28

       It is.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       There's still Netflix, but guess what?

   14. PVPaul Virzi30:31

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:31

       They're not necessary. You can put your shit on YouTube.

   16. PVPaul Virzi30:33

       You can put your shit anywhere. Now. Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:34

       Look at sh- Gillis is fucking killing it.

   18. PVPaul Virzi30:36

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:37

       And he released his shit on N- on, on-

   20. PVPaul Virzi30:39

       On YouTube.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       ... YouTube in the height of his cancellation.

   22. PVPaul Virzi30:42

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Right after his cancellation, he puts out this fucking phenomenal special on YouTube and he's even better now.

   24. PVPaul Virzi30:47

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:48

       Like, i- i- that's the, that's the real industry now.

   26. PVPaul Virzi30:51

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       The... This is the best part of 2022 for comics-

   28. PVPaul Virzi30:54

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       ... is that we don't have gatekeepers anymore.

   30. PVPaul Virzi30:57

       Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Damn. …

   1. PVPaul Virzi45:00

      father, but in the '80s especially. But my father had all day Sunday with us and three hours Wednesday. That's it.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      Damn.

   3. PVPaul Virzi45:06

      So my father had, my father had like 12, 11, 12 hours with his, with his boys a week and, um, you know, but we just c- yeah, he loved comedy, he loved movies. They would have w- even when they were married, I remember I was five years old before they got divorced, but like Johnny Carson would be on. They would, it was always around and like that's the one thing, even though this horrible shit went down, it was like they had good senses of humor.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:28

      Mm-hmm.

   5. PVPaul Virzi45:28

      And, and it was like, so E- Eddie and Rodney were like the things that introduced me to standup.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:32

      Comedy is important, man. It's, I mean, I know, I'm not saying that to be a self-important person because I'm a comedian. But I mean, for me, just for me, if I never did comedy again, comedy is important for me just because like to laugh at things. You know what I fucking love? Memes.

   7. PVPaul Virzi45:47

      Oh.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:48

      The, the fucking internet provides me with so much goddam. The, the f- my friends, like the-

   9. PVPaul Virzi45:53

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:53

       ... memes that we send each other back and forth-

   11. PVPaul Virzi45:56

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:56

       ... they're just fun. I don't know who's doing them, I don't know who's making them.

   13. PVPaul Virzi45:59

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       You know? I mean, I wish I knew all the guys who made all the memes so that I could credit them, but-

   15. PVPaul Virzi46:03

       Ugh.

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:04

       ... my God, there's some funny sh- it's a totally different kind of comedy.

   17. PVPaul Virzi46:07

       Yeah. Dude, I, I lo- I don't watch com- I don't watch standup now. I don't really watch st- I'll, if a clip pops up, now that I'm like trying to work hours and going, I don't like to watch standup and I don't watch specials. I don't. I, I, but if a clip pops up, like dude, this one kid, we were talk- oh my God, his last name was Koff. I think I'm gonna screw it up. I should-

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:25

       Koff?

   19. PVPaul Virzi46:25

       ... remember this kid's name. Like, uh, Goff or Koff or something like that. K-O-F-F. But he had a joke, not my style, and I was fucking crying. He goes, he goes... just I love when things just pop up. He goes... I don't know the guy. I, I f- but I messaged him after, I go, "Dude, I don't know you." I go, "This is fu-" He goes, "I don't know why people are afraid of werewolves." He goes, "We already have wolves and there are wolves all of the time."

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:46

       (laughs)

   21. PVPaul Virzi46:46

       He goes, "That'd be like somebody going, 'You know what would make this grizzly attack worse? If this bear was sometimes an accountant.'"

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:52

       (laughs)

   23. PVPaul Virzi46:52

       And I just fucking thought about that. (laughs) I'm going-

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:55

       It's funny.

   25. PVPaul Virzi46:55

       And it's so true. It's like-

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:56

       Yeah.

   27. PVPaul Virzi46:56

       ... 'cause a wolf is always a wolf.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:57

       Yeah.

   29. PVPaul Virzi46:58

       And we worry about the man turning into the wolf. And I go, "Dude, that's so funny." And I probably even butchered it a little bit. But dude, uh, I was just like, that is real... So I love shit like that.

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:06

       Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:03:22

   (laughs) …

   1. NANarrator1:00:00

      he started showing that he actually had-... power, that he wasn't just one of a monolithic voice, that he could wrap people around. So, there's theories that there's infinite amounts of universe, and there's alternate universe-

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

      (laughs)

   3. PVPaul Virzi1:00:12

      Oh, geez. All right.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:13

      This is- this is me if I sparked a joint and went to the White House. It's the kinda shit I would talk about.

   5. NANarrator1:00:17

      And I have to go and get him free because he was doing positive inside of Chicago, just like how I'm moving back to Chicago. It's not just about, you know, getting on stage and-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:27

      Look at Trump. (laughs)

   7. PVPaul Virzi1:00:28

      I was just gonna say-

   8. NANarrator1:00:29

      ... voice that's for- forced to be a specific party. You know, people expect-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

      Don't these motherfuckers have silent cameras?

   10. PVPaul Virzi1:00:36

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:36

       They're so distracting. You're interrupting his rant.

   12. PVPaul Virzi1:00:40

       There's Jim Brown next to him.

   13. NANarrator1:00:41

       Said that welfare is the reason why a lot of Black people end up being Democratic. They say, you know, first of all, it's, it, it's a limit to amount of jobs-

   14. PVPaul Virzi1:00:49

       This goes on for 20 minutes.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

       It does, yeah.

   16. PVPaul Virzi1:00:51

       Does he really? Just keeps talking.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       Trump is just sitting there like, "Hmm, interesting."

   18. PVPaul Virzi1:00:54

       (laughs)

   19. NANarrator1:00:55

       I don't really say don't vote, I say negative-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       I mean, at this point in time, what is Trump-

   21. PVPaul Virzi1:00:59

       Don't stuff his phone.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       I love that he showed the fucking password of his phone. They filmed, they filmed his password. If you ever get ahold of Kanye's phone, it's all zeros.

   23. NANarrator1:01:08

       It's a high-point-one. It's a hydrogen-powered-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       Look at him.

   25. PVPaul Virzi1:01:10

       (laughs)

   26. NANarrator1:01:10

       ... uh, airplane.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       Look at his, his fake-

   28. NANarrator1:01:13

       And this is what our president should be-

   29. PVPaul Virzi1:01:13

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:13

       His fake attention. "Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, yeah."

Episode duration: 3:03:58