Joe Rogan Experience #1846 - Andrew Schulz

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast.…

   1. NANarrator0:01

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music) Hello, Andrew Schulz.

   4. ASAndrew Schulz0:13

      Hello, Joe Rogan.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      How is the independent comedy production world treating you?

   6. ASAndrew Schulz0:17

      It's good.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      (laughs)

   8. ASAndrew Schulz0:19

      (laughs) It's- it's a lot, uh, it's a lot more work.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      Yeah, for sure.

   10. ASAndrew Schulz0:24

       Hmm.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       But, uh, you, uh, you cut free from the nipple.

   12. ASAndrew Schulz0:27

       Mm-hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Like ...

   14. ASAndrew Schulz0:30

       We did.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       Without even mentioning names, tell me what, what happened. Like, how d- how did it ... I went to taping.

   16. ASAndrew Schulz0:37

       (clears throat)

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       It was excellent.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz0:38

       Thank you.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       Looked great.

   20. ASAndrew Schulz0:38

       Thank you for coming.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       My pleasure.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz0:40

       And thank you for bringing Cameron.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Yeah, brought Cameron Hanes. My wife came.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz0:43

       Dripped in Gucci, dude.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:44

       Yeah, he's hilarious.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz0:45

       Dude, that guy is a legend.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       (laughs)

   28. ASAndrew Schulz0:47

       'Cause I've only seen him with his shirt off-

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       (laughs)

   30. ASAndrew Schulz0:49

       ... and like inspirational music in the background.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh, for sure. …

   1. ASAndrew Schulz15:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Oh, for sure.

   3. ASAndrew Schulz15:01

      You know what I mean?

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Yeah, once things get ugly-

   5. ASAndrew Schulz15:03

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      ... then you're m- more than happy to have the military go and do awful shit.

   7. ASAndrew Schulz15:07

      It's not... The military, it's like... I got a lady in my building, right-

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      (laughs)

   9. ASAndrew Schulz15:10

      ... who's like... She's kinda like a Karen, right?

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:13

       (laughs)

   11. ASAndrew Schulz15:13

       And, Joe, I love her-

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:16

       Do you?

   13. ASAndrew Schulz15:16

       ... because she does the shit I want her to do.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       She's the Antifa of your building.

   15. ASAndrew Schulz15:21

       Yeah, but, like, somebody's la-

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:23

       (laughs)

   17. ASAndrew Schulz15:24

       Somebody's fucking loud. Somebody's having-

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:26

       Yeah.

   19. ASAndrew Schulz15:26

       ... a crazy party. "I know Danielle's got it."

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       (laughs)

   21. ASAndrew Schulz15:29

       Like, I don't gotta call-

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       Right.

   23. ASAndrew Schulz15:30

       ... nobody.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       Right.

   25. ASAndrew Schulz15:31

       I might send a text. Like, "Danielle, are you hearing this?" Already on it.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       Ah!

   27. ASAndrew Schulz15:34

       So it's like-

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       Already on it! (laughs)

   29. ASAndrew Schulz15:35

       ... that's my CIA. Do you know what I'm saying? (laughs) Like...

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       She's your Antifa.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   That's when the rolls…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      thing that happens to many intelligent women, uh, let's say in show business. They get older and they become activists. It's almost like automatic. They start-

   2. ASAndrew Schulz30:13

      That's when the rolls dry up though.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      Yeah, but then-

   4. ASAndrew Schulz30:14

      Once the rolls dry up, it's like, "What do I have to do to stay on the ship?"

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:17

      It's a little bit of that, but it's also, it's like they want relevance, they want something that's important to them, and so they wanna talk about, like, the problems of the world.

   6. ASAndrew Schulz30:27

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:28

      Which women with children get a little upset saying, "Well, the problems of the world, like, we have to make the world better for the next generation."

   8. ASAndrew Schulz30:34

      Yeah, I don't want my kids getting shot in school.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:36

      Right.

   10. ASAndrew Schulz30:36

       That's the big problem.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:37

       Yes.

   12. ASAndrew Schulz30:37

       The problem isn't your pronoun. The problem is-

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       Right.

   14. ASAndrew Schulz30:40

       ... the kid could get shot in school, and I don't want that.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Well, it's also you want your children to be healthy. You don't want the rivers to be polluted. You don't want, you know, you don't want-

   16. ASAndrew Schulz30:48

       You want them to have a, an inherited world.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       ... global warming. Yeah.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz30:50

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       ... one of the things that happens when there's a giant mass of people, like cities-

   20. ASAndrew Schulz30:55

       Hmm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:55

       ... is you don't feel a primal urge to procreate.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz30:59

       Because the people around you-

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:00

       Because there's so many people.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz31:01

       ... aren't procreating.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:02

       There's so many people.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz31:03

       Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       You know, that's what coyotes do. Do you know, when coyotes do roll call, you know, when they howl? (howls)

   28. ASAndrew Schulz31:09

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       When they're doing that, they're checking to see who's around. And if one of them doesn't respond, that means they're dead. And what happens with the female is, when a coyote gets killed out of a pack, the female coyotes will produce extra offspring in their litter. So, like, if a, if a coyote pack remains intact and they have no threat and they do the roll call all the time and all the coyotes respond-

   30. ASAndrew Schulz31:34

       Less babies.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   What makes you a…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      is that you're not a woman just because you say you're a woman.

   2. ASAndrew Schulz45:03

      What makes you a woman?

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      What?

   4. ASAndrew Schulz45:04

      That pussy, Joe.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      No, actually, your, every single cell of your fucking body.

   6. ASAndrew Schulz45:10

      Eh, eh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Do you know that there's a, there's a movement right now amongst-

   8. ASAndrew Schulz45:14

      Eh.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:14

      ... amongst archeologists-

   10. ASAndrew Schulz45:15

       Okay.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:15

       ... where they don't want to identify dead people as male or female 'cause you don't know how they identified?

   12. ASAndrew Schulz45:21

       Oh, God.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:22

       Yes, that's what I'm saying. That's where it goes.

   14. ASAndrew Schulz45:24

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       You can tell, you could dig someone up that was, been dead for 100 years-

   16. ASAndrew Schulz45:28

       Mm-hmm.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:28

       ... and you could tell whether or not that was a male or a female.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz45:32

       Mm.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       Meaning, did they have a double X chromosome or an XY?

   20. ASAndrew Schulz45:36

       Mm-hmm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:36

       You could tell by the structure of their body.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz45:38

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:38

       You could tell by many, many things.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz45:40

       But trans people aren't saying that. From my, the ones that I speak to, they're not going, "Yeah, I'm..." They're not saying, "Yeah, my biology is exactly equal to a woman." They're saying, "I feel like a fucking woman inside. I feel like I'm in the wrong body." I don't know what the fuck that feels like, but if you say that that's how you feel, it is confusing, but I can't tell you that you don't feel like you're in the wrong body.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:00

       But that was the original way they would address it. Now they just address it, like, in, in terms of, like, the most aggressive versions of trans people.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz46:07

       Yeah, but the most aggressive versions of everybody-

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       They're saying, "I am a woman."

   28. ASAndrew Schulz46:11

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       They're not saying-

   30. ASAndrew Schulz46:11

       What they're, I guess-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:43

   No freckles. The, the,…

   1. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:00

      they look, they look good.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:01

      No freckles. The, the, the... You get freckles when they're big?

   3. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:03

      I mean, when you get 90.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Well, they're so like liver spots.

   5. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:05

      You start getting the sunspots and shit. Yeah, whatever. She had none of them.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      Those, those don't, don't-

   7. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:08

      They were, like, pristine.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Huh?

   9. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:10

      Dude, I, I-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

       You think they're fake?

   11. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:11

       They're fake, bro.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

       Really?

   13. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:13

       I DMed Yongye Park-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

       If you're an 80-year-old lady-

   15. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:16

       ... afterwards.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

       ... and you said, "Are they fake?"

   17. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:17

       No, I said, "I'm leaving you."

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

       Those... Do you think those are le- real?

   19. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:19

       I think those gotta be fake. But look at-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       I don't know.

   21. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:21

       ... that fucking body right there.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:23

       They look kinda... I don't know, they look kinda fake.

   23. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:25

       No, she's, she's got it, bro. But yeah, is her husband a crook, and is she a crook? Absolutely.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       100%.

   25. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:30

       But does she have the stupid fat tits? Yes.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:32

       She's got freckles. She's got titty freckles.

   27. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:34

       Look at those.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       Look at those yabbos.

   29. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:35

       Should we be... If they are fake, should we be able to, to comment on them-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       Oh, look at that, the inside.

Episode duration: 3:28:43