Joe Rogan Experience #1847 - Theo Von

1. 0:00 – 1:44

   Cigar lighting chaos and nuclear smelling salts

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. How many times have you smoked a cigar?

   3. TVTheo Von0:14

      I don't know if I've smoked one before.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      (laughs)

   5. TVTheo Von0:16

      Can we open that again one more time? Sorry about ...

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      How ... Just, just pull it down. Yeah, lift, flip the top.

   7. TVTheo Von0:23

      Oh, okay, yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:23

      There you go. And then pull that do- ... There you go.

   9. TVTheo Von0:25

      Yeah. (cigarette hisses) (lighter clicks)

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       How would you not know whether or not you've smoked a cigar.

   11. TVTheo Von0:32

       Well, I used to work at this business company, I worked at this insurance company. I did paperwor- ... Uh, not paperwork, but I, like, mailed papers for them. And, um, like, mailings, I guess. I guess that's paperwork.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Yeah.

   13. TVTheo Von0:46

       And the man had a lot of nice cigars in there.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       And you may or may not have smoked one?

   15. TVTheo Von0:51

       I feel like he tried to teach me one time. Oh, I feel my heart shuttin'. (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       (laughs)

   17. TVTheo Von0:55

       Is that always like it is?

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       I ... Don't ... No. No, your heart doesn't shut. (laughs)

   19. TVTheo Von1:01

       Oh, shit, fuck it. (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:02

       I think it's the smelling salts. We just tried a new batch of the smelling salts.

   21. TVTheo Von1:07

       Oh, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       Last time I did smelling salts, first time was with you, right?

   23. TVTheo Von1:11

       Mm-hmm.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       And we just got a new batch and it was way stronger 'cause we did one with Red Band and it was old.

   25. TVTheo Von1:18

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       It was the old ones, and they get weak after a while. But that one was a freshie. Like, we pulled the tab off the top and took a hit of it, and (sniffs) whoo, it just burned all my nostril hairs off.

   27. TVTheo Von1:30

       Oh, man. It felt like somebody was fucking playing Legend of Zelda in my lungs, bro.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:34

       (laughs)

   29. TVTheo Von1:34

       This shit was fucking really ... It goes al- ... It goes ... It doesn't even hit your lungs. I feel like it goes through, just into everything else almo- ... It, like ... (sniffs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:42

       It does a lot.
2. 1:44 – 4:11

   Hair transplant reveal, headphones, and the ‘purse vs bag’ debate

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:44

      Can I just tell you, your hair looks fabulous?

   2. TVTheo Von1:45

      Oh, thanks, man. Really?

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:46

      It looks fabulous, yeah.

   4. TVTheo Von1:47

      Thanks, dude.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:48

      It's ... It's just full everything.

   6. TVTheo Von1:51

      I just got some new hair done out of the back, put in the front.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:53

      How'd you do that?

   8. TVTheo Von1:54

      Um ...

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:56

      Were you losing hair?

   10. TVTheo Von1:57

       Surgery.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:57

       Yeah? Were you losing?

   12. TVTheo Von1:59

       I don't know if I was losing as much as I was b- ... I've been also getting paranoid and just trying to be, uh, preparatory, but I was having a lot of stress too.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:07

       Oh.

   14. TVTheo Von2:08

       Last year.

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:09

       What were you having stress about?

   16. TVTheo Von2:10

       Uh, let me think.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:12

       Do you wanna wear headphones or no?

   18. TVTheo Von2:14

       Oh, yeah, you wanna put them on? I didn't see you had yours on.

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       I feel like I'm alone here in headphone land.

   20. TVTheo Von2:20

       (laughs) Yeah, it is weird, huh?

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       But now you're back.

   22. TVTheo Von2:21

       It's like when you put a condom on (laughs) and then just the other person's just still looking at their phone. You're like-

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:26

       (laughs)

   24. TVTheo Von2:26

       ... "Oh, this is weird." And the person, I mean, is a woman too.

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:30

       Jesus Christ. You gotta p- ... You gotta tell everybody, huh?

   26. TVTheo Von2:33

       Well, I'm just saying. (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:35

       (laughs)

   28. TVTheo Von2:36

       I was just saying. I just had a crazy ... I had a, like, a trainer the other day and it was a gay trainer, right? And he had a purse with him the whole time and it just, um ...

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:45

       What's the difference between a purse and a large shoulder bag?

   30. TVTheo Von2:50

       Okay. This one, I would say, had bejewels on it, you know?
3. 4:11 – 6:54

   Cigarette history, heartbreak binge-smoking, and cheating stories

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:11

      You just wanna kind of, like, get it going, like da, da. Yeah, you don't inhale, just kinda get it in your mouth and the, the nicotine will get into your bloodstream and then the conversation flows magically.

   2. TVTheo Von4:25

      (laughs) Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:27

      Did you ever smoke cigarettes?

   4. TVTheo Von4:28

      Oh, yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:29

      Yeah?

   6. TVTheo Von4:29

      I used to smoke 'em, man. One time I got so depressed. I'd been seeing this gal and she split up with me.

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:34

      Damn.

   8. TVTheo Von4:35

      And I smoked probably 33, 34 Newports in a row laying on a-

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:42

      Futon?

   10. TVTheo Von4:43

       No. It's a, um-

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:44

       (laughs)

   12. TVTheo Von4:44

       What's, like a floating chair? It has, like, little things on the end, kinda. You know what I'm talking about?

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:48

       A floating chair, the one that you put in the pool?

   14. TVTheo Von4:50

       No, it has, like, a couple people can sit on it, but it's like a, um, it's like a couple chairs are together, like, in a group and it has, like, chains. You know what I'm talking about? People put it on their porch.

   15. JRJoe Rogan5:00

       Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

   16. TVTheo Von5:00

       Swing.

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:01

       Yeah, yeah.

   18. TVTheo Von5:01

       Port swing.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:01

       Swinging chair, yeah.

   20. TVTheo Von5:02

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. Port swing.

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:03

       And you just drank ... Smoked Newports, tried to get over this lady?

   22. TVTheo Von5:07

       (sighs) Yeah, they just ... Yeah, they just ... I felt like it was helping my spirit.

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:11

       What happened with her?

   24. TVTheo Von5:12

       Mm ... She caught me running around on her.

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:16

       Mm.

   26. TVTheo Von5:16

       And I was doing it too.

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:19

       Well, women.

   28. TVTheo Von5:20

       So was m- ... When we fucked.

   29. JRJoe Rogan5:21

       Women get upset about that.

   30. TVTheo Von5:23

       Yeah, they do, huh? They do. Did you ever get busted for that ever in your life?
4. 6:54 – 8:12

   College chaos: eavesdropping on sex and the balcony window accident

   1. JRJoe Rogan6:54

      Well, it was... You were wild. Like, you- you'd only been making out with people for a couple of years.

   2. TVTheo Von6:58

      Yeah, one time this guy, uh, I knew was having sex with this girl, and like the rest of us were just- just kind of being lonely outside of his room.

   3. JRJoe Rogan7:08

      (laughs)

   4. TVTheo Von7:08

      And, um, we went on the balcony.

   5. JRJoe Rogan7:12

      (laughs)

   6. TVTheo Von7:13

      We went on the-

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:13

      I just picture you. How many guys are outside of the room being lonely?

   8. TVTheo Von7:17

      Three guys, right?

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:19

      (laughs) So one guy's in there getting his freak on and everybody else is outside, "Hmm."

   10. TVTheo Von7:23

       Oh, it was so... Yeah. And because of the sound you feel so much fucking lonelier, you know? So...

   11. JRJoe Rogan7:30

       (laughs)

   12. TVTheo Von7:30

       And, uh, we went outside on the balcony to like, one guy was out there smoking a cigarette, and so then he starts listening to the sex through the window. Then he comes back in, he's like, "You guys gotta come in here, you know. Chucky's doing some work in here."

   13. JRJoe Rogan7:41

       (laughs)

   14. TVTheo Von7:41

       "You know what I'm saying? Like this is... You know, it's worth coming out." You know, it's almost like if you hear a good song, like, "Hey, hey guys."

   15. JRJoe Rogan7:46

       Right, right. (laughs)

   16. TVTheo Von7:47

       So we went out, and, uh, the guy s- leaned too close on the window and fell right through the fucking pane glass, dude.

   17. JRJoe Rogan7:53

       No.

   18. TVTheo Von7:53

       Cut himself up, and then all of a sudden it's all exposed and they're in there. Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan7:57

       Oh my God.

   20. TVTheo Von7:58

       Oh, it was fricking... I felt bad for everybody.

   21. JRJoe Rogan8:00

       How was he leaning like that where he broke the window?

   22. TVTheo Von8:03

       It was cheap windows. It was a college apartment complex.

   23. JRJoe Rogan8:05

       Oh.

   24. TVTheo Von8:06

       Like, probably single pane glass.

   25. JRJoe Rogan8:08

       Right.

   26. TVTheo Von8:08

       Like, everything in there was cheap because people just broke it all the time.

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:12

       (laughs)

   28. TVTheo Von8:12

       You know?

5. 8:12 – 11:37

   Landlords, rent moratorium fallout, and universal basic income incentives

   1. JRJoe Rogan8:12

      Can you imagine being a landlord for a bunch of college kids?

   2. TVTheo Von8:16

      Never.

   3. JRJoe Rogan8:16

      Ugh. Imagine being a landlord today, because so many people, there was rent protection during the pandemic and people are still like, "Nah, not paying."

   4. TVTheo Von8:24

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:25

      Like, I know a guy who has not collected rent from this one person for three fucking years. And he's like, "I can't get rid of them. I don't know what to do. I'm not making any money. Like, I have to pay the mortgage and I'm not making any money off of rent."

   6. TVTheo Von8:37

      Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan8:37

      "And I- I can't rent it out to anybody else."

   8. TVTheo Von8:39

      Ugh.

   9. JRJoe Rogan8:39

      "And I can't get rid of them." And the lady has a job. The lady has a job. She goes to work every day and won't pay rent.

   10. TVTheo Von8:46

       Oh, that's... She shouldn't do that.

   11. JRJoe Rogan8:48

       No. But there's like, in Los Angeles, there's rent protection.

   12. TVTheo Von8:52

       Oh yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:53

       I don't know if that's still in place. Is that still in place? Do you know?

   14. TVTheo Von8:57

       There's a TV show about bad people that do renting. There's also, um, I saw a... Oh, I had a tenant that stayed in a apartment that I had in New Orleans for two months and just didn't pay any rent. Thankfully it was only two months, but it was just nothing you could do. You know, by the time you have to go like to this... It's just like a- it's-

   15. JRJoe Rogan9:15

       Did you own an apartment building?

   16. TVTheo Von9:17

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan9:17

       You did?

   18. TVTheo Von9:18

       Not a building.

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:18

       Apartment?

   20. TVTheo Von9:19

       One apartment.

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:19

       Oh really?

   22. TVTheo Von9:20

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan9:20

       And you rented it out-

   24. TVTheo Von9:21

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan9:22

       ... and they wouldn't pay rent?

   26. TVTheo Von9:22

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan9:23

       Okay. Most people, they have shame and like, if you fuck with them and keep... They- they- they want to either get out of there or they just want to pay you and get it over with, but some people are shameless. And this lady that this guy I know is running out to is totally shameless.

   28. TVTheo Von9:39

       Was she, um... Do you think she was doing like, uh, some type of, like, secret work and she doesn't want, she didn't want like... Do you... Like, what do you think the reason was?

   29. JRJoe Rogan9:50

       I think she would like to spend her money on other things.

   30. TVTheo Von9:53

       Yeah.
6. 11:37 – 17:05

   Crime fantasies, real shootouts, and the ‘good guy with a gun’ argument

   1. TVTheo Von11:37

      Dude, one time I was on this bus, man. I used to go work at this farm in the summer. And so I would take the bus up there to Graham and they had this dude on there, he's sitting on there and, uh, next to me and he's like, "Hey, you want to see something?"

   2. JRJoe Rogan11:51

      (laughs)

   3. TVTheo Von11:51

      And I thought it was gonna be his dick, you know.

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:53

      His dick. (laughs)

   5. TVTheo Von11:53

      Because, you know, it's a freaking Graham bus.

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:55

      What if he says-

   7. TVTheo Von11:56

      And...

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:56

      Yeah. You want to see something, it's either a human head-

   9. TVTheo Von11:59

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:59

       ... or a dick. (laughs) He pulls a head out of a bag.

   11. TVTheo Von12:03

       (laughs) Either way, you're getting a hit, bro.

   12. JRJoe Rogan12:06

       Yeah.

   13. TVTheo Von12:06

       But, and, and I said no the first couple times, but the trip got longer and I was like, "All right, fuck it." You know? "Yeah, I'll see it." He opened up, he had a bag of jewelry and a gun. He had robbed a, uh, a jewelry store before he got on the bus.

   14. JRJoe Rogan12:18

       Jesus Christ.

   15. TVTheo Von12:18

       And showed it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan12:18

       And he wanted you to see it?

   17. TVTheo Von12:20

       He just wanted, yeah, I think he wanted to kind of take some of the pressure off of him by sharing it with somebody else, you know?

   18. JRJoe Rogan12:25

       Yeah?

   19. TVTheo Von12:25

       So suddenly ... Yeah, I think he may- he's like, you know, "I've got an accomplice," or something. And then he even said like, "Oh, we should get off at this next stop." And I'm like, "I'm not in this shit."

   20. JRJoe Rogan12:34

       (laughs) He's gonna throw the bag at you and call the cops.

   21. TVTheo Von12:37

       (laughs) Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan12:37

       "I found him!" (laughs)

   23. TVTheo Von12:41

       (laughs) He might've had a good idea. Maybe so.

   24. JRJoe Rogan12:43

       Well, that's a lot of people that commit crimes like that. They're kind of not that wired right.

   25. TVTheo Von12:48

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan12:48

       You know? They're kind of screwball.

   27. TVTheo Von12:50

       Would you ever want to do a good crime?

   28. JRJoe Rogan12:52

       I would want to do a good crime.

   29. TVTheo Von12:53

       A fucking bank robbery?

   30. JRJoe Rogan12:55

       Like a crazy bank robbery.
7. 17:05 – 24:25

   Red dots, home defense choices, and zombie-weapon logic

   1. JRJoe Rogan17:05

      ... it depends entirely on whether or not this guy has a red dot, um, and how much he's trained. If he has a red dot, it's considerably easier to, to hit what you're aiming at because a red dot, when you pull out a pistol ... Excuse me here. (clears throat) I think that, um, smelly salt's fucked me up.

   2. TVTheo Von17:24

      Really? I like that.

   3. JRJoe Rogan17:25

      Yeah, mine ... Is it fucked you up too, Jamie?

   4. NANarrator17:27

      I didn't s- I didn't go all the way. (scoffs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan17:29

      I went all in.

   6. NANarrator17:30

      I still never-

   7. JRJoe Rogan17:30

      I went, I took the biggest, deepest whiff.

   8. NANarrator17:33

      Oh, yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan17:33

      And it was immediately ... I was punished for that.

   10. NANarrator17:35

       It felt heavier than normal. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan17:36

       (coughs)

   12. NANarrator17:37

       It's the hot in there.

   13. JRJoe Rogan17:38

       It was way worse because it was just right when he pulled the seal off, but it ... anyway, my whole throat is like (sniffs) confused. Uh, but a red dot, like, when you draw and you have a red dot-

   14. TVTheo Von17:47

       Mm-hmm.

   15. JRJoe Rogan17:48

       ... the red dot will show you exactly where that bullet's gonna go.

   16. TVTheo Von17:50

       And when it turns green, is that when you shoot?

   17. JRJoe Rogan17:52

       No, no, no. It's just red. It stays red.

   18. TVTheo Von17:53

       Okay.

   19. JRJoe Rogan17:54

       It's just, it's just ... You know how in place of the iron sights? Like, the iron sights you have, like, on a gun-

   20. TVTheo Von17:59

       Oh, yeah. The little thing like that?

   21. JRJoe Rogan18:00

       Yeah, the little thing and then in between it is, like, you put the, the little dot that's on the end of the pistol and you line the two of them up and you shoot.

   22. TVTheo Von18:07

       (sighs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan18:07

       With a red dot, you don't have to do that. You just pull it out and it's a s- like, a, a sight, and in that sight, there's a red dot. Wherever that red dot is, that's where that bullet's gonna go.

   24. TVTheo Von18:15

       Damn.

   25. JRJoe Rogan18:17

       So-

   26. TVTheo Von18:17

       And how accurate is that? How much times?

   27. JRJoe Rogan18:19

       It depends entirely on whether or not you've sighted in the gun properly. But if you've sighted in the gun properly, it's very accurate, especially if you have a really good gun like a Staccato or a SIG, or, you know, some top end.

   28. TVTheo Von18:29

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan18:29

       GLOCK, high-end gun. So if this guy knew what he was doing, clearly he did, if he hit that guy from 40 yards away eight times at y- with 10 shots, that fucking guy can shoot.

   30. TVTheo Von18:40

       Damn.
8. 24:25 – 32:16

   Vampires, old movies, and why immortality is romantic

   1. TVTheo Von24:25

      Um, what about Bram Stoker's Dracula? Do you remember that movie?

   2. JRJoe Rogan24:27

      Oh, fuck yeah.Fuck, yeah.

   3. So fucking good, dude.

   4. Fuck, yeah. That was a good movie, man. That was the best movie.

   5. God, it was good.

   6. The best, best vampire movie, rather. That was, that was really good.

   7. Remember how scared you used to get when you were a kid? Did you ever get fucking really scared?

   8. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, little kids are vulnerable. Scared ... y- you think vampires might be real, maybe people don't know. Especially when we were kids, there was no fucking internet.

   9. Yeah.

   10. So-

   11. You just ask somebody. If they were dumb, then you were dumb.

   12. People would tell you the ghosts were real, Bigfoot's real-

   13. Yeah.

   14. ... everything. Yeah. Gary Oldman was the best Dracula. He was good in that-

   15. Yeah.

   16. ... Bram Stoker's Dracula. He was good.

   17. Yeah.

   18. He played old Dracula, remember? He played Dracula with the white crazy hair and the wig.

   19. Mm, let me think. Like can we see a image of it?

   20. Yeah. He, he was a bunch of different like ages in that movie 'cause like depending on how much blood he got, he w- if he got the good blood, he would come back to life again.

   21. Oh. He got more young.

   22. Yeah. Do you remember?

   23. Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.

   24. Like there was, there was a scene where he was like very, very old.

   25. Mm.

   26. And he met Keanu Reeves, remember?

   27. I don't remember that good at the moment.

   28. G- like something happened, I think he was shaving and-

   29. Oh, yeah.

   30. ... uh, Keanu cut-
9. 32:16 – 36:55

   Aging, longevity tech, tall bodies, and fighter-pilot G-forces

   1. TVTheo Von32:16

      I wonder if there was a lot of, uh... I wonder if back then it was, if, um, if, like, people were more sexually active back then, you think?

   2. JRJoe Rogan32:27

      Um...

   3. TVTheo Von32:27

      In the past?

   4. JRJoe Rogan32:29

      Well, they probably fucked a lot more because they didn't live very long.

   5. TVTheo Von32:36

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JRJoe Rogan32:37

      Right? They probably just fucked whenever they could.

   7. TVTheo Von32:39

      What a pickup line.

   8. JRJoe Rogan32:41

      We're not gonna make it.

   9. TVTheo Von32:42

      (laughs) Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan32:43

       Let's just, let's just have a couple glasses of wine.

   11. TVTheo Von32:46

       (laughs) Yeah, like, "Hey, babe. The median age around here is 27." (laughs) "We gotta fucking hammer it down."

   12. JRJoe Rogan32:52

       But a lot of that was because people died young.

   13. TVTheo Von32:55

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan32:55

       Like, they died... There was a lot of, uh, infant mortality. That was a big, big issue. Like, when you look at the actual age that people died back then, some people lived to be a ripe old age. But it was pretty rare.

   15. TVTheo Von33:05

       And a lot of infants, um... I guess a lot of infants just weren't that powerful? Or what was the deal with it?

   16. JRJoe Rogan33:11

       Well, they didn't have medicine.

   17. TVTheo Von33:13

       Oh.

   18. JRJoe Rogan33:13

       So if they got sick, they died.

   19. TVTheo Von33:16

       Oh, yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan33:16

       You know, or if, you know, a lot of women died during childbirth-

   21. TVTheo Von33:19

       Ugh.

   22. JRJoe Rogan33:19

       ... 'cause if there was complications. You know, now they save so many more people.

   23. TVTheo Von33:24

       Do you think we're supposed to be living as long as we are? Or do you think, like, Mother Nature's like, "Oh, fuck, these people are hanging out too long"?

   24. JRJoe Rogan33:31

       I don't think there's no supposed to. I think if... Biologically, we're supposed to live to be roughly 100 years.

   25. TVTheo Von33:37

       Mm-hmm.

   26. JRJoe Rogan33:37

       If everything goes great. If everything goes perfectly, you'll, you'll live to be about 100 years. But I think that with modern science and our understanding of genes and hormones and, you know, telemeters and all the, the different anti-aging technologies they're working on right now, we're probably, right now, talking to people that are going to live to be 150 years old.

   27. TVTheo Von33:58

       Damn.

   28. JRJoe Rogan33:58

       Yeah, I think, like, you're, you're seeing people today. Like, if you meet a guy and he's 30 years old today, that guy's probably gonna live to be 150.

   29. TVTheo Von34:06

       That's crazy.

   30. JRJoe Rogan34:07

       Well, people live to be 120. There's, that's a rare thing, but there's been some women that have made it to, like, 120.
10. 36:55 – 52:45

    Comedy ecosystem: Nashville vs LA, reps, and Theo’s ‘next level’ breakthrough

    1. TVTheo Von36:55

       Do you, uh, miss it? Do you miss The Comedy Store?

    2. JRJoe Rogan36:58

       Yeah, sure. Yeah.

    3. TVTheo Von36:59

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan37:00

       I miss the comradery. I miss the fun hangs. Like, we used to hang out-

    5. TVTheo Von37:03

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan37:03

       ... in the back bar and hang out in the green room. That's the ... And hang out in the parking lot. That's the fun I miss out of The Comedy Store. But we have that in Austin, you know? The Austin hang is amazing.

    7. TVTheo Von37:13

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan37:13

       It's amazing here, you know?

    9. TVTheo Von37:14

       Y- yeah, I was talking to Adam Egyet yesterday, he said you guys were hanging out.

    10. JRJoe Rogan37:17

        I gotta show you the club.

    11. TVTheo Von37:19

        Oh, yeah. Huh?

    12. JRJoe Rogan37:19

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't talk too much about it.

    13. TVTheo Von37:21

        Okay.

    14. JRJoe Rogan37:22

        But I'll, I'll show you some shit later.

    15. TVTheo Von37:23

        Yeah, I'm excited. That's cool, man.

    16. JRJoe Rogan37:25

        Yeah, it's gonna be wild. How many time ... How many days are you in town for?

    17. TVTheo Von37:27

        Hmm, I think till Thursday or Friday.

    18. JRJoe Rogan37:29

        Okay.

    19. TVTheo Von37:30

        If I can stay the night. So, I know I'm gonna do ... Yeah, I'm gonna ... I think we're gonna do a show Wednesday.

    20. JRJoe Rogan37:34

        Yeah. We can do it t- tomorrow too, if you want.

    21. TVTheo Von37:36

        Um, okay.

    22. JRJoe Rogan37:38

        Mm-hmm.

    23. TVTheo Von37:38

        Yeah, I'm around.

    24. JRJoe Rogan37:39

        Okay. Well, tomorrow during the day I'll take you to the club.

    25. TVTheo Von37:42

        Oh, yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan37:42

        'Cause it's in mid, mid-construction right now. It's wild. It's gonna be the badass.

    27. TVTheo Von37:46

        Are you nervous about it?

    28. JRJoe Rogan37:47

        No, I'm excited.

    29. TVTheo Von37:48

        That's cool.

    30. JRJoe Rogan37:49

        I'm real excited.
11. 52:45 – 1:00:02

    Family, food, and dark Americana: grandmothers, Depression survival, and cannibalism media

    1. TVTheo Von52:45

       I wouldn't. I'll actually-

    2. JRJoe Rogan52:46

       Can you imagine the leap you have to take to kill your grandma? Like, your grandma is, like, this sweet lady you come to visit every now and again.

    3. TVTheo Von52:53

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan52:53

       And she bakes cookies and shit. My grandmother used to make Italian food. Oh my god, it was-

    5. TVTheo Von52:58

       Really?

    6. JRJoe Rogan52:58

       ... off the charts. Off the charts, 'cause it was all homemade. She'd make ... I- I still to this day can taste her homemade pasta, 'cause sh- they would- she would do everything on the kitchen table with the flour, and she would make the noodles-

    7. TVTheo Von53:10

       Ooh.

    8. JRJoe Rogan53:10

       ... and everything. She would make the tomato sauce with the tomatoes that my grandfather grew in the garden.

    9. TVTheo Von53:14

       Come on, man.

    10. JRJoe Rogan53:15

        It was insanity.

    11. TVTheo Von53:16

        That's romantic.

    12. JRJoe Rogan53:18

        It was insanity.

    13. TVTheo Von53:18

        That's romantic.

    14. JRJoe Rogan53:18

        It was insanity. That food was so good. That food ruined me as a child.

    15. TVTheo Von53:21

        Gosh.

    16. JRJoe Rogan53:21

        'Cause I'd go other places, I'm like, "Why is your Italian food bullshit?"

    17. TVTheo Von53:24

        Yeah.

    18. JRJoe Rogan53:25

        You know?

    19. TVTheo Von53:26

        (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan53:26

        'Cause my grandmother made everything. She made her own meatballs. It was sensational.

    21. TVTheo Von53:30

        Yeah, there's something ... When somebody makes something-

    22. JRJoe Rogan53:32

        Mm-hmm.

    23. TVTheo Von53:32

        ... there's, like, an energy that goes into it and it's different.

    24. JRJoe Rogan53:34

        Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

    25. TVTheo Von53:34

        Even if it's shitty, you're still like, "Hey, this is-"

    26. JRJoe Rogan53:37

        Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

    27. TVTheo Von53:37

        You know, they took some time to do it.

    28. JRJoe Rogan53:39

        And my grandmother was proud of it too. She would ... When she would serve us, she would come out with this big smile on her face. She knew everybody was gonna feast. She knew that Italian food was gonna knock your fucking socks off.

    29. TVTheo Von53:49

        Fuck, yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan53:50

        It was so good.
12. 1:00:02 – 1:14:24

    Wild nature footage and the return to primal instincts (hawks, eagles, bears)

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:02

       And birds? Birds are some of the meanest fucking animals. Have you seen that video that's going around of the bird-

    2. TVTheo Von1:00:09

       No.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

       ... that's eating an antelope alive? Have you seen that?

    4. TVTheo Von1:00:12

       You think they're mean?

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:13

       Oh, they're vicious. They're so horri- they're so fucking horrible.

    6. TVTheo Von1:00:17

       Why, do you think 'cause they can't be on the ground as much as other animals, easily?

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       I just think they're reptiles. They're flying reptiles.

    8. TVTheo Von1:00:24

       Are they more reptile?

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

       Yeah. I mean, what a bird is, is a dinosaur. They're flying dinosaurs.

    10. NANarrator1:00:30

        This?

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

        Yeah. Look at this. This eagle is riding this antelope's back and just ... It's got its claws dug into its back-

    12. TVTheo Von1:00:37

        Wow.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

        ... so you see all the blood pouring off the back.

    14. TVTheo Von1:00:39

        No, it's bleeding.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

        And it's just digging into its body, 'cause those claws, the talons that an eagle has, are so powerful.... so it's just riding this thing and then eating out of its ribcage-

    16. TVTheo Von1:00:50

        (gasps)

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

        ... while it's just slowly dying. And that, that antelope can't do a goddamn thing to get away. There's nothing it could do.

    18. TVTheo Von1:00:56

        It's like one of those moving buffets that you're at. You ever been to one of those? One of those-

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

        Oh, God, that's

    20. NANarrator1:01:00

        Oh.

    21. TVTheo Von1:01:00

        ... where the food moves by as you're eating it?

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

        I got another video. I'll send you this, Jamie. Of this, uh, there's a, a hawk that's eating a crow. It holds the crow down and the th- the crazy thing is it's not much smaller than the crow. Which is, or not much larger, rather, than the crow, which is wild 'cause it's just, it's just chewing this fucking thing apart.

    23. TVTheo Von1:01:21

        Oh, I saw a bear climb into a tree yesterday. I put it on my IG story and it was a bear.

    24. NANarrator1:01:27

        Did you see it?

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:27

        Joe, is that it?

    26. TVTheo Von1:01:30

        No, no, that's not it. I'm gonna sh- send it to you. Oh, I saved it. Here, hold on a second. I actually have the whole video.

    27. NANarrator1:01:37

        The, uh, bear?

    28. TVTheo Von1:01:38

        Bear climbed up a tree and took a hawk out of its nest and-

    29. NANarrator1:01:40

        Oh, I think I did see that.

    30. TVTheo Von1:01:42

        ... and ate it.

Episode duration: 3:00:50