Joe Rogan Experience #1937 - Punkie Johnson

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (instrumental music plays) From the bartender at The Comedy Store-

Punkie Johnson 0:16 That's right.

Joe Rogan 0:17 ... to Saturday Night Live.

Punkie Johnson 0:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:19 What the fuck?

Punkie Johnson 0:20 Yeah, yeah. There, I'm still, I'm still processing that if you want me to be honest with you.

Joe Rogan 0:25 How many years was it?

Punkie Johnson 0:26 (sighs) How many years I worked at the store?

Joe Rogan 0:28 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 0:28 (sighs) I think 10.

Joe Rogan 0:31 10 years at the store. W- what, what year did you start?

Punkie Johnson 0:34 Yeah, I did-

Joe Rogan 0:34 What j- what year did you start comedy?

Punkie Johnson 0:37 If I'm not mistaken, it was 2011.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Oh, cheers, my friend.

Punkie Johnson 0:41 Cheers. Cheers.

Joe Rogan 0:41 So good to see you.

Punkie Johnson 0:42 Thank you so much.

Joe Rogan 0:43 And s- congratulations on your success.

Punkie Johnson 0:44 Thank you, thank you.

Joe Rogan 0:45 It's been amazing to see.

Punkie Johnson 0:46 This, this a dream come true, be- just being here.

Joe Rogan 0:48 Awesome.

Punkie Johnson 0:49 Just the success right here.

Joe Rogan 0:50 It's a dream come true for me to see you rise.

Punkie Johnson 0:53 Mm.

Joe Rogan 0:53 I love it. I love it when I see people start off at the store and just get their feet under them and get their shit together and pull it off.

Punkie Johnson 1:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01 Whoo, it's so exciting.

Punkie Johnson 1:03 Yeah. I, it's-

Joe Rogan 1:03 It's so exciting.

Punkie Johnson 1:04 ... it's still unreal. I'm still, I'm still, like, k- kind of mentally still in California 'cause I remember I was out there, just this little chick from New Orleans. I'm like, "What the hell am I doing in California? What am I doing driving down Sunset and seeing these beautiful palm trees?" It's the things that I would see on television. And then that time just went f- whew. It just, it just left.

Joe Rogan 1:25 Yeah, isn't weird, like, the first time I came to California was '93. It was with my friend Gary Valentine and we, we were, uh, out here to do some shit for MTV and we were driving around like, "Are we really here?"

Punkie Johnson 1:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:37 Like, I was 26 and I was like, "What the fuck is this place? This place is so weird." It just felt I'm not supposed to be here or something.

Punkie Johnson 1:45 Yeah. That's exactly what it felt like for me.

Joe Rogan 1:47 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:47 I don't, uh, I just got in where I fit in over there.

Joe Rogan 1:50 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:51 You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 1:51 It's weird.

Punkie Johnson 1:52 Got me a little job. I moved out there. I had me a little change 'cause I had, uh, I didn't work for six months when I first went out there because I fell in a hole in New Orleans.

Joe Rogan 2:02 A hole?

Punkie Johnson 2:03 Yeah. (laughs) I was just-

Joe Rogan 2:04 What kind of hole?

Punkie Johnson 2:04 I was just minding my business walking down the street and I, I just, fluke, I just fell out of the world into a hole. It was wet cement that was not blocked off.

Joe Rogan 2:14 Oh, no.

Punkie Johnson 2:14 And I went down to, like, neck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:17 Oh, no.

Punkie Johnson 2:18 So I was just like, but, ju- trying to get out and my stupid ass, I didn't realize how dangerous it was for me to be in that hole. I was laughing the whole time. I was like, "Ah, ha ha, stupid ass fell in a hole." And then I had the, I was... The Walgreens was right there so I had to go. I bought, like, some p- pajamas or whatever they had and I went home and my parents were like, "This is not funny. Like, you could've lost your life." And then I got this major lawsuit. I had to go to physical therapy 'cause my adrenaline was pumping so I didn't know I was hurt. Um, so the next day I was just like, "Ah, my back was stressed, my arms were stressed 'cause I was banging on the ground trying to get out, trying to pull myself to the cement to, uh, climb out."

Joe Rogan 2:53 How did you get out? Did someone help you?

Punkie Johnson 2:55 I, no, nobody was outside. (laughs) I was screaming.

Joe Rogan 2:59 Oh, shit.

Punkie Johnson 2:59 (laughs) But I was laughing 'cause I'm goofy and I'm like, "You dumb bitch, how you fall into a hole?" But I didn't realize how serious it was till after, and then my parents, they brought me to a lawyer and they're like, "Hell no." Like, "No, you could've, you could've died." And then I just, I forgot all about it. I went to therapy for a year and then I got a check.

Joe Rogan 3:16 It took a year to get better from that?

Punkie Johnson 3:18 Well, you know with the lawyers and shit, you gotta go to therapy while they f- litigate and figure shit out.

Joe Rogan 3:24 Right.

Punkie Johnson 3:24 And then-

Joe Rogan 3:25 Did you have any, like, lasting problems from it?

Punkie Johnson 3:28 Um, for a couple years, my neck. I had a strained back, I had a strained neck, um, but I was well co-... I was living in, for six months in Los Angeles with no job.

Joe Rogan 3:39 Nice.

Punkie Johnson 3:39 I was, I was compensated pretty well.

Joe Rogan 3:42 So that's what got you to LA, falling in a hole?

Punkie Johnson 3:44 That's what got me financially-

Joe Rogan 3:47 Able.

Punkie Johnson 3:47 ... able. Now, me going to LA, that's a different story. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 3:51 So did you start standup in New Orleans? Where'd you start?

Punkie Johnson 3:56 I started in... So I was always a comedian in, in my head, like, I would always, like, make up these little jokes. New Orleans wasn't big on comedy. They're still not too. They growing, it's a growing comedic community out there right now and, um, I just, my, my family is com- they comedians. They just goofy. I mean, we don't cry at funerals. We just super s-

Joe Rogan 4:21 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 4:21 I mean, just dumb. Just, my mom cracked jokes when she was punishing me as a kid. She would say riddles while she was whipping my ass. I mean, (drum beat) it w- it was nothing, like, everything was just funny. It was nothing ever was serious in my family and, like, if we, you know, on the weekends, you know, you clean the house, you listen to music, we listened to comedy in my house and before I went to sleep every night I watched ComicView on BET so I was like, "You know what? I wanna do that." And, um, so I started in Los Angeles when I got out there.

Joe Rogan 4:50 So the, so the store was the first time you did standup?

Punkie Johnson 4:54 Uh, I think the first time I ever did w- a set was at the Icehouse-

Joe Rogan 4:58 Ah.

Punkie Johnson 4:59 ... in the Rhino Room.

Joe Rogan 5:01 The little room?

Punkie Johnson 5:02 The s- yeah, the small room in the back.

Joe Rogan 5:03 Yeah. That small room's the shit.

Punkie Johnson 5:05 Oh, yeah. I, I, if I need to go and practice something, that's a-

Joe Rogan 5:08 That small room is truth serum. If you-

Punkie Johnson 5:09 I love-

Joe Rogan 5:09 ... joke suck in that small room, they suck.

Punkie Johnson 5:12 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:12 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 5:12 I'll, I'll go take a nice, sexy vom in them little bitty rooms.

Joe Rogan 5:15 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 5:15 Just, just some shit I've just got in my head and I need to get out.

Joe Rogan 5:18 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 5:18 Oh, yeah. Like the Belly Room, Rhino Room.

Joe Rogan 5:21 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 5:22 I don't know if The Laugh Factory had a little room.

Joe Rogan 5:24 No.

Punkie Johnson 5:25 No. So I never really... I just like the little baby rooms.

Joe Rogan 5:28 Those little rooms are, when you're with a tiny amount of people, you get to see what's bullshit in your act.

Punkie Johnson 5:33 Yeah, and it's close-

Joe Rogan 5:35 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 5:35 ... and it's intimate.

Joe Rogan 5:36 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 5:36 And you lookin' people dead in the eyes.

Joe Rogan 5:38 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 5:39 Like you, so-

Joe Rogan 5:40 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 5:40 ... I like the smaller rooms. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:42 So that was your first set? So what year was this?

Punkie Johnson 5:46 I think this was, like, June 2011.

Joe Rogan 5:50 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 5:51 It's probably on one of my... Oh, c- I keep my calendars. It's probably on one of my old calendars.

Joe Rogan 5:54 So I don't think I met you until I came back to the store, which was the 14th, in 2014, I think.

Punkie Johnson 6:00 Yes, and that's when all the stories started happening about you. I was like, 'cause I'm like, "Yo, that's The Fear Factory dude, The Fear Factor (laughs) dude."

Joe Rogan 6:08 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 6:08 ... I'm like, "What the..." Because I didn't know the history. So, when... Okay, so basically I'm- I'm like this- this- this- this chick from this... from, you know, New Orleans, Louis... It's the country, you know what I'm saying? It's... New Orleans is a city, but I went to school in Thibodaux, Louisiana. It's... In that super, super country town, right? Now, I always had dreams of coming to Hollywood, but I ain't know how I was gonna get there. So I was... It was just word... It was just me verbally speaking it, so I didn't know what I was gonna do. And then I moved back to New Orleans. I was in a eight-year relationship with this girl. Uh, we broke up. I didn't know how to be hurt. That was my first time ever being hurt, so I started following her everywhere.

Joe Rogan 6:51 Oh, no. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 6:52 (laughs) And like stalking her. And I remember I used to sit outside in this tree with snacks and weed.

Joe Rogan 6:58 You sat in a tree?

Punkie Johnson 7:00 I... I'm telling you, I was tripping. I was young and I didn't know what to do, and that... I don't know. I was tripping. Anyway, cut all that shit short-

Joe Rogan 7:08 Right.

Punkie Johnson 7:08 ... I'm like, you know how you just gotta look in the mirror sometimes and be like, "Yo, you tripping."

Joe Rogan 7:12 Right.

Punkie Johnson 7:13 Like, "Chase your dreams." Like, "Don't be chasing no females." Like, "What are you doing?"

Joe Rogan 7:17 Right.

Punkie Johnson 7:17 So I just had, like, this epiphany about myself, like, "Bro," like, "get out of here." And, uh, within a week, I was out. I was out. I told my job I quit, I told my moms I was leaving, I packed up all my shit in this two-door, uh, blue Honda thing, and I drove across the country just like that.

Joe Rogan 7:36 Wow.

Punkie Johnson 7:37 And that's how I got into comedy, because I had a interview at The Comedy Store, and when I got there, it was like 75 people in the original room. And I looked around, I ain't never seen no shit like that before. A audition, you waiting in the office, it's one, two people maybe. This was a line full of people waiting to be seen. So I pull back, I was like, "All right. Okay, um, if I get this job, that mean it's meant for me to do comedy." Because I was like, "Ain't no way I'm gonna get this job out of all these people." So, I get interviewed. The dude, Mark, he loved the fact that I was from New Orleans. He was gay, and he loved the fact that I was gay. So he was... I got hired, and I had a lot of charisma, Joe. Come on, now.

Joe Rogan 8:16 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 8:17 Come on, now.

Joe Rogan 8:18 Had you ever bartended before?

Punkie Johnson 8:20 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:21 Okay.

Punkie Johnson 8:21 I bartended for, I think, two... I think two years, um, before... But that's... The Comedy... See, people... A lot of people be sleeping on The Comedy Store. That's a whole different ballgame.

Joe Rogan 8:31 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 8:32 The volume up in that place is crazy. You're doing three shows a night sometimes, where you gotta switch out... I mean, you gotta work fast, because you're serving, what, 400, 500, 600, 700... You could be serving 800 to 900 people a night, and you got to get them all two, three, sometimes four drinks within two hours.

Joe Rogan 8:51 Yeah, you guys hustle back there.

Punkie Johnson 8:52 You g- And I mean, we sweating, we soaking wet.

Joe Rogan 8:54 I know, I was always impressed. I was always impressed watching you guys hustle back there.

Punkie Johnson 8:58 Man, that's cr- Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, you making money.

Joe Rogan 9:01 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 9:01 You're having a good time, and you... And it's- and it's- and it's family-oriented, you know, it's family-owned, so you're having a good time, but you gotta move.

Joe Rogan 9:07 Well, that b- area, that back bar area is like... That's the vibe.

Punkie Johnson 9:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:12 That's where everybody comes back and checks in on everybody-

Punkie Johnson 9:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:14 ... hugs everybody, says hi.

Punkie Johnson 9:17 And what I love about it is, we got to sip a little bit too while we was working.

Joe Rogan 9:22 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 9:22 We come in that bitch, start with a shot.

Joe Rogan 9:23 Oh, we'd always do shots together.

Punkie Johnson 9:25 We like, "All right, everybody. Come on, now. Uh," (laughs) "y'all know how it's gonna be."

Joe Rogan 9:29 I think I probably did 1,000 shots with you. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 9:33 (laughs) Man.

Joe Rogan 9:33 Before shows-

Punkie Johnson 9:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:34 ... we always did shots.

Punkie Johnson 9:35 We had to.

Joe Rogan 9:36 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 9:36 Because it's like... But I love working at places like that too, that's not like corporate-

Joe Rogan 9:40 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 9:41 ... and they allow their staff to have a good time.

Joe Rogan 9:42 Yeah. Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 9:43 You know, it's like, "Do whatever you want."

Joe Rogan 9:45 "As long as you get the job done."

Punkie Johnson 9:46 "Get the job done. Don't steal."

Joe Rogan 9:47 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 9:48 Point blank, period.

Joe Rogan 9:49 That's it. Yeah, that's it.

Punkie Johnson 9:49 And we was like, "Cool."

Joe Rogan 9:50 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 9:50 "You ain't gotta say nothing." And The Comedy Store is always a place of the customer ain't always right. Like, "Don't come in here with that bullshit."

Joe Rogan 9:59 Right. Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:00 "We kicking you out-"

Joe Rogan 10:01 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:02 "... on sight."

Joe Rogan 10:02 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:03 "Don't start with the comedians on stage. We don't really care what happened between you and the server. The server gonna win." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:10 Well, we know the servers.

Punkie Johnson 10:11 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:11 We know they're not assholes.

Punkie Johnson 10:12 No.

Joe Rogan 10:13 There's no assholes there, you know?

Punkie Johnson 10:15 No.

Joe Rogan 10:15 There was a few over the years, but they kind of weeded them out.

Punkie Johnson 10:18 W- There's-

Joe Rogan 10:18 You know, just a few.

Punkie Johnson 10:19 It's a place of like, you know, "If- if- if you're not with us, you're against us and you gotta go."

Joe Rogan 10:25 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:25 "And we'll- we'll figure that out real fast."

Joe Rogan 10:26 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:27 "Real fast."

Joe Rogan 10:27 I saw so many people-

Punkie Johnson 10:29 We'll figure out the lights.

Joe Rogan 10:29 ... try to flex and talk to the manager and think they're gonna get somebody fired. And, uh, it's hilarious th- the- the reaction, so different at The Comedy Store. They're like, "Yeah, you gotta go."

Punkie Johnson 10:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:39 And they're like, "What?" (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 10:40 Yeah. "You gotta get out of there."

Joe Rogan 10:42 "That person was rude to me." N- no, they definitely weren't.

Punkie Johnson 10:45 "Look, handle it-"

Joe Rogan 10:46 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:46 "... if they was. Don't come up in here with that bullshit."

Joe Rogan 10:48 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:48 "Handle it. They was rude to you? All right. Go handle your business."

Joe Rogan 10:50 Also-

Punkie Johnson 10:51 "We-"

Joe Rogan 10:51 ... we're pretty suspicious.

Punkie Johnson 10:52 Yeah. "And we all grownups in here."

Joe Rogan 10:53 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:54 "Don't come with the tattletaling and all that shit."

Joe Rogan 10:56 (laughs) Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 10:58 I probably shoulda got written up so many ti-... so many times at The Comedy Store. I cursed so many people out at that bar.

Joe Rogan 11:03 No, you're supposed to.

Punkie Johnson 11:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:05 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 11:05 Because it's like, what are you... "Don't come in..." You know, like people would come in there just with... doing the weirdest stuff and have the weirdest energy sometimes.

Joe Rogan 11:11 Well, they would come into the back bar too, thinking they could order a drink. Like, "Hey, you're in the employees area." Like, "Why are you back here?"

Punkie Johnson 11:18 Yeah. Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 11:18 Like, drunks would wander through those doors and just make it into the back area.

Punkie Johnson 11:22 But that was another thing about the store too, because it's like we expect for you to know what your lane is.

Joe Rogan 11:28 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 11:28 But then, you know, you give somebody an inch, they take a mile, and they think they run the joint, and then we got a problem.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 11:34 But I do appreciate the people that come there and really want to be a part. That just shows you that it's a good place and people really want to be a part of this family.

Joe Rogan 11:41 Well, it is a family, and it is an amazing place. That place has launched so many careers. I mean, the history of that building is just insane. Even before The Comedy Store, the history of the building, back when it was Ciro's Nightclub and-

Punkie Johnson 11:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:54 ... you know, and Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and Sammy Davis, Jr., like, all these, like, world-class talents-

Punkie Johnson 12:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:00 ... would be on that stage.

Punkie Johnson 12:02 Yeah, some good spirits in that building.

Joe Rogan 12:03 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 12:04 There's some-

Joe Rogan 12:05 For sure. And a lot of murder, too.

Punkie Johnson 12:07 Yeah, I, uh... (laughs) So Jeff Scott, God rest his wonderful soul, on Halloween, he would do, like, these, uh...... these, these little haunted comedy tour-

Joe Rogan 12:17 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 12:17 ... expedition, exposition things up in the, uh, in a building, and he would show us all the places where the bullet holes were.

Joe Rogan 12:26 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 12:26 And, you know, and then he would tell us, like, all of these crazy stories-

Joe Rogan 12:30 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 12:31 ... about, you know, like, the abortion room and all of this stuff.

Joe Rogan 12:34 I don't know if that was real.

Punkie Johnson 12:35 I don't think so either.

Joe Rogan 12:36 I don't think that one's real.

Punkie Johnson 12:36 I'm just like, "That's bullshit."

Joe Rogan 12:38 That doesn't seem true.

Punkie Johnson 12:38 But it's still, like, something super interesting and super fun, and I'm just sitting up there. I'm nude-

Joe Rogan 12:43 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 12:43 ... my fa- I'm just like, "What? This is crazy. The drug house, the murder."

Joe Rogan 12:49 But it was 100% a mob-owned nightclub. That was w- That's the fact.

Punkie Johnson 12:55 Yes.

Joe Rogan 12:55 And you gotta think that some evil shit went down-

Punkie Johnson 12:58 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:59 ... in that building.

Punkie Johnson 13:00 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 13:00 I mean, it was owned by Bugsy Siegel.

Punkie Johnson 13:03 I did, I don't think I knew that.

Joe Rogan 13:06 Yeah, Bugsy Siegel owned The, The Comedy Store before Mitzi did.

Punkie Johnson 13:10 Wh- When did that, when did that switch over? What year was that? Like, wasn't that, like, in the '40s?

Joe Rogan 13:14 That's a good question. Like, what year was Ciro's Nightclub, Jamey? 'Cause, uh, I think Mitzi took it over in the '70s.

Punkie Johnson 13:21 Okay. Okay.

Joe Rogan 13:22 Mitzi and Sammy, they took it over in the '70s, and then, um, 'cause... Yeah, right? What year did, uh, was it owned by Bugsy Siegel? Was it, say?

Narrator 13:33 It closed in '57 and became a rock club for a little while.

Joe Rogan 13:35 So, it opened in 1940.

Punkie Johnson 13:37 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 13:37 Ciro's became a popular night spot for celebrities and it closed in '57.

Punkie Johnson 13:42 Ah.

Joe Rogan 13:42 It was reopened as a rock club in '65, and then what year did, uh... Desi Arnaz played there too. Wow. Ciro's, once the most glamorous club in Hollywood. I think-

Narrator 13:54 Huge, massive.

Joe Rogan 13:54 ... The Comedy Store opened in the '70s. '72?

Narrator 13:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:59 Yeah. There, there it is.

Punkie Johnson 13:59 Yeah, 'cause it's been... 'Cause wasn't last year the 50th?

Joe Rogan 14:03 Um-

Punkie Johnson 14:04 What year are we in right now?

Joe Rogan 14:04 Yes, it must've been.

Punkie Johnson 14:06 Yeah. Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 14:08 We in 2023.

Narrator 14:09 Kaleidoscope.

Punkie Johnson 14:09 That is crazy.

Joe Rogan 14:10 It was called The Kaleidoscope in '68-

Narrator 14:13 Then it was Boss.

Punkie Johnson 14:13 (laughs) That's the-

Joe Rogan 14:13 ... and then it was called It's Boss in '69. Oh, my God.

Narrator 14:17 Patch Two.

Joe Rogan 14:19 Patch Two, and then The Comedy Store in '72, and '72 to today.

Narrator 14:23 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 14:24 D- The Kaleidoscope? I never... Did you know that?

Joe Rogan 14:26 No, I didn't know it was anything... I, I had r- remembered that it was something other than Ciro's for a little while, but I don't remember what it was. But, you know, the big names were Ciro's and The Store. That was the big names.

Punkie Johnson 14:37 I... Now, that, that I never knew. I thought it went straight from Ciro's-

Narrator 14:40 Ooh, look at that. Tina Turner and-

Punkie Johnson 14:41 ... to-

Narrator 14:41 ... Ike Turner played there with Jimi Hendrix-

Joe Rogan 14:43 Wow.

Narrator 14:43 ... as part of the band.

Joe Rogan 14:44 Oh, my God.

Punkie Johnson 14:45 I, I gotta hit up Jen.

Joe Rogan 14:46 Oh, my God.

Punkie Johnson 14:47 (laughs) I gotta talk to Jen. I wonder if she knew this, 'cause this is serious.

Joe Rogan 14:50 (sighs)

Punkie Johnson 14:50 I gotta talk, talk to Lee too. Like, this is crazy.

Joe Rogan 14:55 Wow. Who's Dick Dale?

Narrator 14:56 John F Kennedy. Uh...

Joe Rogan 14:57 John F Kennedy was there?

Punkie Johnson 14:58 Was he there?

Joe Rogan 14:59 Wow. He dined at Ciro's in '65.

Narrator 15:02 I believe this is, like, old surf rock kind of stuff.

Joe Rogan 15:04 Wow.

Punkie Johnson 15:05 Man, the history of this place is crazy.

Narrator 15:07 Yeah, kind of surf rock.

Joe Rogan 15:07 Crazy. But it feels like it when you walk around there. Joan Crawford, Frank Sinatra-

Punkie Johnson 15:13 Oh, it was poppin'.

Joe Rogan 15:14 ... Ava Gardner, Sidney Poitier. Oh, my God.

Punkie Johnson 15:16 Jerry Lewis.

Joe Rogan 15:17 Lucille Ball, Ja-

Punkie Johnson 15:18 Dee Martin.

Joe Rogan 15:19 Ronald Reagan was there? D- Wow. Mickey Rooney. Wow. Crazy with all the people that frequented it.

Punkie Johnson 15:27 See-

Joe Rogan 15:27 George Burns, Jimmy Stewart, Jack Benny.

Punkie Johnson 15:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:30 Crazy.

Punkie Johnson 15:30 I, I can't believe the president was in there.

Joe Rogan 15:32 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 15:33 It was poppin' like that?

Joe Rogan 15:34 It was poppin' like that.

Punkie Johnson 15:35 Goddamn.

Joe Rogan 15:36 I think it was the spot, and Hollywood was the spot in That Was The Spot in Hollywood.

Punkie Johnson 15:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:42 You know? That, I mean, it's such a magic room. I mean, everything about that place is just... It's so set up. It's, you know, all the weird little corridors and-

Punkie Johnson 15:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:51 ... weird little places in it.

Punkie Johnson 15:53 I remember, uh-

Joe Rogan 15:54 Pull that thing up too for me.

Narrator 15:55 Oh, my bad, my bad.

Joe Rogan 15:56 That's all right.

Punkie Johnson 15:56 I remember when, uh, COVID hit-

Joe Rogan 15:59 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 15:59 ... I was so afraid. I was just scared that maybe it'll get shut down 'cause things wasn't looking right. It wasn't looking good.

Joe Rogan 16:06 It came close.

Punkie Johnson 16:08 I was just like... That was one thing I was saying, "Please don't let this place shut down. Please don't let this place shut down."

Joe Rogan 16:12 Well, fortunately they made a lot of money from 2014 to, like, 2019, like, when it went down.

Punkie Johnson 16:20 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:20 You know, when, '20, when it-

Punkie Johnson 16:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:22 ... when it stopped, when everything stopped, so they had some money put away, but, you know, how long can you stay open and pay the rent and not have any income coming in?

Punkie Johnson 16:32 Yeah, when COVID hit I had to leave.

Joe Rogan 16:34 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 16:34 'Cause I wasn't, I didn't have any income coming in. I was like, "There ain't no way in hell I can stay up in this... In, in Los Angeles."

Joe Rogan 16:41 So, had you done any road work by then? Like, what you had... You'd been doing standup since 2011.

Punkie Johnson 16:47 Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 16:48 And, like, where... You'd only been doing it in LA? Where had you been doing it?

Punkie Johnson 16:52 Um, I would get, like, small gigs, like, I would... Uh, like the Madhouse would show me some love. Uh-

Joe Rogan 16:57 That's San Diego?

Punkie Johnson 16:57 San Diego. Uh, Punchline San Francisco would show me some love. Um-

Joe Rogan 17:02 That's a great room right there.

Punkie Johnson 17:02 It... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:03 That's a great room.

Punkie Johnson 17:03 Yeah. I love, I love it. I love it. And, uh, I, I honestly did not know what I was doing. I, I just kinda, I just kinda fell in... I didn't fall into the comedy game 'cause that's what I wanted to do, and when I got the job at The Store I'm like, "All right. Bet you're supposed to do comedy." I, I, I was the type of person, I'm like, "You know what? I'ma just ride it out. I'll probably..." You know, of course I had dreams, but I w- But the way it's set up, like how hard it is and how much rejection is out there, I wa- I just was like, "You know what? I'm probably just gonna be a comedy store comic forever. Fuck it. Whatever." Right? So, then I just... I get passed in 2016. Surprised. I was like, "Oh, okay. For sure," but I had a killer set. My set was super ridiculous, and from that I got a manager. I did this show with my guy, Ahmet, uh, Waynberg, with Sarah, Sarah Silverman Company, so I got managers through that. It was called Please Understand. Um, and then they, uh, uh, my managers Dave Becki and Ethan Stern, they like, "All right, kid. What you want?" I said, "What?" They said, "What you want?" They said... I was like, "I just thought..." They were just like, "Nah, you, you, you, you...... we about to put your life together now. I'm like, "All right, bet." I wanna do this, this, this, this, and this. They said, "Cool, now it's time to goal it out, let's roll." And I was like, "All right." So, that's when things became a little more serious, and that's when I started, like, really learning the game. But I didn't really know about The Road until three years ago. And, but that, but, but of course that was after, um, SNL, and now I done went from doing 15 minutes at The Comedy Store to, "Oh, no, now you gotta do an hour, you on TV." I'm like, "Oh, okay." Um, "You got an hour?" "Absolutely." "No, I don't." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:54 (laughs) How much time did you have?

Punkie Johnson 18:55 I don't know, 20 minutes, 30 minutes of just shit that I had accumulated over the years.

Joe Rogan 19:00 Right.

Punkie Johnson 19:00 But now it was time for me to start putting it all together.

Joe Rogan 19:03 Right.

Punkie Johnson 19:03 And every single step of the way while I was doing that, I was thinking about you because I remember we had a conversation at the store. I would ask you for advice. I know you gave a lot of people advice, you probably don't remember you told me this, but you was just like, "Economy of words," like, "Psh."

Joe Rogan 19:17 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 19:17 "What that mean, Jo?" Fuck all that, get, get rid of all that fat, get to the point. Find out how to explain your stories simply, quickly, get to the punchline. I'm like, "All right." So, as I'm putting this set together, I got paragraphs and paragraphs of shit trying to describe (laughs) my joke, and I'm like, "Economy of words, bitch." And then I'm... And that's when my comedy started getting better, 'cause I'm like, "All right, I'mma say a sentence, I'mma say a joke, I'mma say a sentence, I'mma say a joke." And if I gotta ha- tell a story with it, I'mma make sure I got references inside of it and act outs so it, so it could be full and it don't have air or space in it.

Joe Rogan 19:52 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 19:52 So, I'm still working on that, though, by the way, but I'm better.

Joe Rogan 19:55 Well, we all are.

Punkie Johnson 19:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:57 You, you work on it forever.

Punkie Johnson 19:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:58 That's, I mean-

Punkie Johnson 19:59 Yeah, I agree.

Joe Rogan 19:59 Especially because you're gonna always come up with new material.

Punkie Johnson 20:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:02 So, as you come up with new material, you're always working on it.

Punkie Johnson 20:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:05 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 20:05 And that's, that's why I like doing the little, the small rooms to work on it. But (laughs) my small rooms now are the clubs. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:12 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 20:13 You know what I'm saying? Like, there's no more... I mean, don't get it twisted, I'll go do some comedy in a coffee shop in a second. I'm, I'm humble, I'm not about to be, I ain't going to no c-... Nah, that's not me. You know, but before all of this, the s- my rooms to go bomb in was the coffee shop or a library or the back of a basement.

Joe Rogan 20:31 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 20:31 Uh, I mean, uh, not the back, but in a basement or something like that. But I'm, I'm leveling up now, so. But I still don't know what it feel like to, like, really truly perform in a big theater. You know what I'm saying? I guess, like, things just kinda turned around for me so fast that I was never put in a, a situation to go open for anybody.

Joe Rogan 20:54 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 20:55 So, now I just, I just gotta figure out how to do it now, you know? Just now I'm working up to the theaters without having a experience of, of doing it for anybody else.

Joe Rogan 21:07 And you're doing it as a headliner.

Punkie Johnson 21:09 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:11 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 21:11 I'm lear-... Look, this is from the mud, man. I, there got some days I be like, "Punky, what are you doing?" I gotta question myself every day 'cause I don't know, but I'm doing it.

Joe Rogan 21:25 Just keep doing it.

Punkie Johnson 21:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:26 Keep doing it, and one day you look back and you go, "How the fuck did I get here?"

Punkie Johnson 21:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:30 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 21:30 Oh, oh yeah, they, they got times I be like, "Punky-"

Joe Rogan 21:33 No.

Punkie Johnson 21:33 "... you know what? You still got time to just..." You know they, you know they'll give you your job back-

Joe Rogan 21:38 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 21:38 ... at the store.

Joe Rogan 21:40 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 21:41 (laughs) You know, 'cause it get, it get hard and... But I'm like, my mother didn't raise me to be no sucker, so it's like, you know, I just gotta talk myself out of this. I'm like, "Bitch, wake up. Come on, stop all that stupid shit. You was made for this, you was born for this, let's go."

Joe Rogan 21:56 Yeah, that's called imposter syndrome, everybody has that.

Punkie Johnson 21:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:59 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 21:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big thing.

Joe Rogan 22:00 If you're good, you have that, because the people that don't have that are usually delusional-

Punkie Johnson 22:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:04 ... and they don't, they don't critique themselves.

Punkie Johnson 22:06 You know, sometimes I wish I was delusional.

Joe Rogan 22:07 No.

Punkie Johnson 22:08 (laughs) Sometimes, 'cause these delusional people, they out here fucking up everything with a smile. Like, "Yep, I did that."

Joe Rogan 22:15 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 22:15 Like, no, this is bad for you.

Joe Rogan 22:17 Th- delusional people are weird. Like, you'll see them go on stage at The Comedy Store and just eat shit and come off with a big smile on their face. Like, you're not suicidal?

Punkie Johnson 22:24 The, I don't... Man, I, I, I hate that. That, that's when you need the-

Joe Rogan 22:28 It's weird, right?

Punkie Johnson 22:28 Yeah, it is, it is.

Joe Rogan 22:28 It's weird, and some of them, they're paid regulars. Like, they get-

Punkie Johnson 22:32 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 22:32 ... they keep going. Like, I'm like, "What's happening here?"

Punkie Johnson 22:36 I have seen a lot of people get, like, way better. Like, Matt Edgar been-

Joe Rogan 22:39 Oh, yeah.

Punkie Johnson 22:39 ... killing the stage. Like, Matt Edgar, like super goofy, dumb funny to me, man. And, um, I don't really remember everybody that be up in there, but I know, uh, Melissa Villaseñor. I hope I said her, her last name right, I always be having problems with that. But man, she's been-

Joe Rogan 22:57 You, you talking about Melissa?

Punkie Johnson 22:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Villaseñor?

Punkie Johnson 22:58 Villaseñor, yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:59 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 22:59 She's been murdering-

Joe Rogan 23:01 She's funny.

Punkie Johnson 23:01 ... on the stage.

Joe Rogan 23:02 And she got great impressions.

Punkie Johnson 23:03 Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like-

Joe Rogan 23:05 She's a super nice person, too.

Punkie Johnson 23:07 Melissa look happy as hell.

Joe Rogan 23:08 Always.

Punkie Johnson 23:08 Melissa been glowing. I'm, I'm like, "Girl, what..." I'm like, "What's going on with you?" Says, "I'm happy, I'm just happy, dude." She got all kinda, like, uh, things, like JCPenney endorsements and stuff. Like, she really doing it. I'm happy for her. But I miss The Store. I do.

Joe Rogan 23:25 Well, you know, it's a chapter in your life, it's always gonna be a thing, you know? You're always gonna miss the, just the vibe of going into that, pushing through those swinging doors and there, all the hustle and bustle and everybody's-

Punkie Johnson 23:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:36 ... laughing and talking shit. And all the waitresses are laughing, the-

Punkie Johnson 23:39 Yep.

Joe Rogan 23:39 ... comedians are laughing.

Punkie Johnson 23:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:41 Everyone's having fun and everyone's working.

Punkie Johnson 23:43 I miss The Store. I miss Jeff.

Joe Rogan 23:46 I miss Jeff, too.

Punkie Johnson 23:47 It's not the same. I'm, I'm like, I go in the original room, I'm like, "Man, I don't even wanna walk in his room no more."

Joe Rogan 23:52 No.

Punkie Johnson 23:52 But you know what? Guess what? Time don't wait for people, things happen, you gotta move on. But it's still different without Jeff.

Joe Rogan 23:59 It's different.

Punkie Johnson 23:59 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:00 Yeah, Jeff Scott was the fucking man. He was, you know, he was such a big part of The Store. You know, he, he would just always crack jokes with them. He would come talk to you about sets and stuff that you were doing. He was just... He was like, um, almost like a counselor.You know, he was like a part of the family, but he was-

Punkie Johnson 24:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:18 ... almost like, he had a very specific role as the guy who played the piano-

Punkie Johnson 24:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:23 ... uh, w- and, and brought all the comedians up in between the comedians, for people who don't know, Jeff Scott would play piano.

Punkie Johnson 24:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:28 And, but he was... It was more than that, like with some comedians, they would work with him, so he'd play some music while they were on stage and he would give them, like-

Punkie Johnson 24:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:37 ... sound cues and fuck around-

Punkie Johnson 24:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:38 ... with them and, but he was just a easy guy to be around too.

Punkie Johnson 24:42 (laughs) Jeff and I, we had this thing where I would sing, uh, like my little songs and stuff at the, at the end of the night and he would play with them, right? And, and he would be filming a lot of them, and (laughs) when he passed away, I called one of the managers at the store, I was like, "I'm gonna need y'all to get all of them tapes."

Joe Rogan 25:06 Hmm.

Punkie Johnson 25:06 "Get them fucking tapes."

Joe Rogan 25:08 Yeah, man.

Punkie Johnson 25:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:09 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 25:10 Because me and Jeff used to say some shit, okay?

Joe Rogan 25:13 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 25:13 Bad, bad, because you know The Comedy Store is like, "Look, come in here, be yourself, do your thing. We don't give a fuck." You know?

Joe Rogan 25:21 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 25:21 "We want your authentic self." And I was very, very my authentic self. So I'm like, "Get them fucking tapes."

Joe Rogan 25:28 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 25:30 They're like, "We got you, bitch." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:33 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 25:33 Because they know-

Joe Rogan 25:34 Oh.

Punkie Johnson 25:34 ... you know, but then, you know, like now I have this, you know, SNL's my first corporate job.

Joe Rogan 25:39 Right.

Punkie Johnson 25:40 You know, where I got rules to follow and shit.

Joe Rogan 25:43 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 25:43 You know, there's, and you know, you gotta, like especially in this climate, you just gotta watch what you do and watch what you say, and that's a big shift coming from somewhere where you didn't have to watch what you did and you didn't have to watch what you said.

Joe Rogan 25:54 That's like the polar opposite of The Comedy Store.

Punkie Johnson 25:55 100%.

Joe Rogan 25:56 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 25:57 You know? So, you just gotta, uh, be smart.

Joe Rogan 26:01 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 26:01 I have to be smarter in the way that I deliver or decide to say something sometimes, because I could say something, somebody could take that, blow that shit all out of context-

Joe Rogan 26:11 Of course.

Punkie Johnson 26:11 ... and then boom, that's my job. I'm just, and it, you just never know.

Joe Rogan 26:14 Yeah. But that's okay too, even if that happens.

Punkie Johnson 26:19 Even if it does, I mean, you're gonna always be all right, but then that's gonna piss me off. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:22 Yeah. But-

Punkie Johnson 26:24 It's just like, "Yo, why, why everybody starting all this drama over simply misunderstanding something that somebody said?"

Joe Rogan 26:31 Well, it's purposely misunderstanding it. Like people are doing it on purpose. It's people that just... You know what it's like? It's like the world is filled with glass houses and there's just buckets of rocks everywhere.

Punkie Johnson 26:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:40 And people just wanna smash a window. It's like, it's, it's so easy to bring someone down now, especially someone that said s- they tweeted some shit in 2009-

Punkie Johnson 26:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:48 ... or said some shit.

Punkie Johnson 26:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:50 It's like it's a normal part of human culture, like when you see someone, especially someone like yourself that's on the rise-

Punkie Johnson 26:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:58 ... and now all of a sudden you're doing great, people that aren't doing great, they, they wanna chop you down. And you know what it's like, like there's one thing about comedy that's fascinating is that when you start out, anybody can start out.

Punkie Johnson 27:10 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:10 You know, anyone can get on that stage. Open mics, it's for anyone, like literally anyone, including mentally ill people.

Punkie Johnson 27:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:16 And so you got a lot of mentally ill people that you're sharing space with and you're hanging out with them all the time, and then you start to do well and they get angry at you.

Punkie Johnson 27:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:24 Like people that have, like severe narcissistic tendencies and severe jealousy. And I've, I've seen that with people. It's, it's interesting to watch it, uh, ou- from the outside, watching like doormen and, um, bartenders and people that just start out, and then one of them starts doing well and then they start getting gigs, and then they start opening for people and they see the fucking hate in the other people-

Punkie Johnson 27:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:47 ... man. It's, it's fascinating to watch that. And so those are the ones that wanna take you down.

Punkie Johnson 27:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:52 The ones that wanna take you down are the ones that can't do it.

Punkie Johnson 27:54 Yeah. That's very interesting.

Joe Rogan 27:56 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 27:57 It, it, it... You... Especially like working at The Store, because the big, the big comics would come in and they'll just pick people. And you would see it, because people that's been at The Store for a while, they wouldn't get picked to go on the road or open up. But like, people would come there and be new.

Joe Rogan 28:15 You want some of this?

Punkie Johnson 28:16 Oh, no, no, no.

Joe Rogan 28:17 It's okay.

Punkie Johnson 28:17 No, no, no. Let me tell you, let me tell you how-

Joe Rogan 28:20 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 28:20 ... I'm losing my job for sure (laughs) if I smoke that shit.

Joe Rogan 28:23 Really?

Punkie Johnson 28:24 Look, I start... Look-

Joe Rogan 28:26 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 28:26 ... I, I gotta, you know what I gotta do with marijuana? I gotta-

Joe Rogan 28:29 What?

Punkie Johnson 28:29 ... smoke that shit at the house.

Joe Rogan 28:31 (coughs)

Punkie Johnson 28:32 Nobody there. It's just me. I can't get on the phone.

Joe Rogan 28:35 Really?

Punkie Johnson 28:36 Yes. I have to be in my own thoughts.

Joe Rogan 28:38 Oh. Interesting.

Punkie Johnson 28:39 Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes I'll film myself while I'm high.

Joe Rogan 28:45 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 28:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:45 Doing what?

Punkie Johnson 28:47 Well, I'll go crazy, like weed makes me crazy. I'm paranoid. I'm always worried about my parents.

Joe Rogan 28:53 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 28:54 Um, I always start feeling also like I ain't shit with marijuana. It's, uh, and, uh, but a lot of people that smoke, they're like, "Look, just keep smoking, keep smoking. That's just a wall you gotta break through." But I can't, I can't, I can't let myself feel that way. Maybe it's the weed that I'm smoking, I don't know, but-

Joe Rogan 29:11 No, I know what you're talking about. I feel that way too.

Punkie Johnson 29:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:14 It's like, it's humbling, and that's what I like about it.

Punkie Johnson 29:17 Yeah, it makes me-

Joe Rogan 29:18 I, I-

Punkie Johnson 29:18 ... feel I'm, like I'm not good enough. I just-

Joe Rogan 29:21 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 29:21 But it makes me get up and work.

Joe Rogan 29:22 Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That's the good part about it.

Punkie Johnson 29:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:25 Like if you, if I... That's why I'm scared of things that make you overconfident.

Punkie Johnson 29:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:29 Like things that make you overconfident I think are terrible for you.

Punkie Johnson 29:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:32 I think you're, you're probably better... It, it depends on the person clearly, because some people have a real problem with confidence and they don't have any. And for them, marijuana could be debilitating.

Punkie Johnson 29:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:41 But I think for some people that are doing well, it's good, it's a little reality check. It's like you need to look at the big giant picture, and sometimes you don't. You just get so locked in with blinders on, looking at your own, you know, day to day existence-

Punkie Johnson 29:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:56 ... and the only things that you concentrate on that you think are important. And marijuana sort of dissolves any artificial barriers-

Punkie Johnson 30:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:03 ... and just makes you look at things for what they really are.

Punkie Johnson 30:05 I, I (laughs) , I do allow myself to feel that once a month, but I have to be alone.

Joe Rogan 30:12 Hmm. Well, that's probably good-

Punkie Johnson 30:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:13 ... you know how to handle it. That's smart.

Punkie Johnson 30:15 Ah.

Joe Rogan 30:15 It's a good way to handle it.

Punkie Johnson 30:16 That's right. I, I, I, I, I get me some marijuana. They be... Because you go to the stores now and they be like, "Oh, this is that, uh, lililac pollywarp." I'm just like, "Look, I don't give a shit."

Joe Rogan 30:26 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 30:26 "Just give me, I don't care."

Joe Rogan 30:27 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 30:27 "Just give me the shit. I'm gonna smoke it."

Joe Rogan 30:29 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 30:30 Just your hybrid and your, uh-... mix, mixed with, uh, your hybrid. So that's your indica-

Joe Rogan 30:36 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 30:36 ... mixed with your sativa. I'm like, "Man, I don't give a shit. Just gimme some, just gimme some weed, bro." I don't know nothing about weed like that. So I, I, uh, once a month I'll smoke it, I'll go through all my emotions. I cry.

Joe Rogan 30:49 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 30:49 I, uh, I reset.

Joe Rogan 30:51 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 30:52 I recharge.

Joe Rogan 30:53 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 30:54 And it honestly looks like I'm in a crazy house.

Joe Rogan 30:56 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 30:56 I had to film myself one time. It kinda looks like I'm wrapped up 'cause I'm always... I, I start rocking and I'm doing-

Joe Rogan 31:01 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 31:01 ... all of this and I'm crying and I'm talking to myself. I'm like, "You ain't shit." And I'm like, "Bitch, please. Please. You got it." And then, 'cause my emotions are all over the place when I'm smoking, so I'd rather just not do that in public.

Joe Rogan 31:13 That's a good call.

Punkie Johnson 31:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:15 I feel like those things you're describing, though, as an artist, it's a normal thing. It seems so crazy that, you know, you would battle with you ain't shit and you got this.

Punkie Johnson 31:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:25 And then it's like both sides of your brain are sort of duking it out.

Punkie Johnson 31:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:29 But I think as an artist, that's something that does ha-... Like, you have to have per-... As a performer in particular, you have to have a certain amount of confidence. You have to be able to go up there and know that you got it. But also, you have to have a certain amount of humility, and you have to have a certain amount of perspective. And sometimes it's hard, and the, the better you get-

Punkie Johnson 31:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:46 ... the better you do in life, the more success you get. I think it's harder to have that perspective because you, you know, it's easier to just believe your own bullshit. It's easier to, like, pretend you're different than everybody else.

Punkie Johnson 31:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:57 It's easier to do that, like, you, that you're special.

Punkie Johnson 32:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:00 But marijuana, like, lets you know, like, right away, "Oh, bitch, you ain't special at all."

Punkie Johnson 32:04 No. It is these voices.

Joe Rogan 32:05 "You're full of fear and you're gonna die."

Punkie Johnson 32:07 Oh my... Yes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:08 Yeah, yeah. And you're vulnerable as fuck.

Punkie Johnson 32:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:10 And so is everyone you love.

Punkie Johnson 32:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:12 You know, we're all in this together.

Punkie Johnson 32:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:14 And it just, it makes me, like, a more considerate person, it makes me a, a kinder person.

Punkie Johnson 32:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:20 You know?

Punkie Johnson 32:20 Yeah, yeah. You always been considerate and kind, I ain't gonna lie. You'll come to the store. I remember they had some drama at the store one time and you was like, you, you was like, "Absolutely not. Not, not." I won't say what it was, but you had our back. Like, the servers, you protected us and you was like, "Fuck no, not on my watch." And we was like, "Yes, Joe."

Joe Rogan 32:39 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 32:39 "He loves us." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:42 Well, sometimes people, uh, they abuse people that, like, work in the service industry.

Punkie Johnson 32:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:47 You know?

Punkie Johnson 32:48 It happens. A lot, unfortunately.

Joe Rogan 32:51 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 32:51 You know, I try to pay it forward, you know? You can always... Like, when I go to restaurants and stuff, you can always tell that I served and I bartended for a while because all... I stack everything up. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:00 Nice.

Punkie Johnson 33:00 They like, "Will you chill?" I'm like, "It's habit. Uh, I just-"

Joe Rogan 33:03 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 33:04 "... clean the fucking table for the people. They just come pick the shit up and..." And then I try my hardest to, uh, tip at least 50%, like-

Joe Rogan 33:12 Good for you.

Punkie Johnson 33:12 And I also get that from you.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 33:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:14 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 33:14 I'm like, "You know, Joe come in, he... Man, you showed mad love. You was the reason why we made money a lot, a lot of nights." And so I just try to pay that back.

Joe Rogan 33:23 I... It feels good. I tell people it's like you're leaving love bombs.

Punkie Johnson 33:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:26 Leaving a love bomb.

Punkie Johnson 33:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:28 Like, even if you're not even there to watch it go off. I like to get out of the room-

Punkie Johnson 33:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:31 ... before they even see the tip.

Punkie Johnson 33:33 Yes.

Joe Rogan 33:33 Just, just enjoy that.

Punkie Johnson 33:34 I, I mean, I can't do it all the time.

Joe Rogan 33:36 Yeah, I get it.

Punkie Johnson 33:36 But sometimes I'm with my girl and I'm like, if the s-... I mean, especially if the people were incredible, I look at my girl, I'm like, "We blessing these people tonight?" She be like, "Blessing, baby." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:46 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 33:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:46 That's even better. Even better if you say it that way.

Punkie Johnson 33:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:50 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 33:50 So... And it feels... You know. 'Cause, yeah, 'cause I... Like you said, I don't need to stay and see their reaction.

Joe Rogan 33:55 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 33:55 I just like, you know?

Joe Rogan 33:55 I think that's missing in cultures where they don't tip. Like, I think the problem with, uh, with, uh, tipping is that you could still pay someone, like, two bucks an hour, which is kinda crazy.

Punkie Johnson 34:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:05 Which is crazy.

Punkie Johnson 34:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:06 Like... (laughs) Two bucks an hour is so crazy.

Punkie Johnson 34:09 Especially, like, if you not, if you don't have a job in New York.

Joe Rogan 34:11 Right.

Punkie Johnson 34:11 'Cause I think you can do that in New York.

Joe Rogan 34:13 I-

Punkie Johnson 34:13 I think-

Joe Rogan 34:14 ... there's a lot of places you could do that.

Punkie Johnson 34:16 T- uh... Well, what, what I think is, is, like, if you... What, what I mean is, if you do it in New York, it... I don't think it matters because people in New York, they just have this sense... They just know to tip.

Joe Rogan 34:24 Right, right, right.

Punkie Johnson 34:25 They just know to show love.

Joe Rogan 34:26 It's an East Coast thing.

Punkie Johnson 34:27 Yeah, it-

Joe Rogan 34:27 But, you know, you know, a lot of people in the East Coast are tippers.

Punkie Johnson 34:32 I like that about these. I love the East Coast.

Joe Rogan 34:33 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 34:33 I don't think I'm going back to the West Coast.

Joe Rogan 34:35 I think the problem with the West Coast is too many people are trying to be famous. And when you, you, the... You got too many people trying to be famous, you have, like, a high percentage of narcissists and a high percentage of sociopaths. Not... I mean, I don't know, I don't mean it's, like, all of them, but it's, like, what's the average, the, the percentage of sociopaths? I think they say it's, like, 10% or something like that, or 4%?

Punkie Johnson 34:55 That's it? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:56 I don't wa-... I'm... I don't know how, know how they-

Punkie Johnson 34:57 I feel like it's way more.

Joe Rogan 34:58 I don't know how they really know. You know, they do it based on a sample size. I don't know, I don't know if they really know the actual numbers, but th- that's the estimate, right? And if you go to a place like Hollywood, you gotta im- imagine that most of the people that go there, they m-... The people that move there, they move there to either be a part of the business-

Punkie Johnson 35:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:18 ... like, to be a producer or a director or something, or they wanna be in front of the camera and... Or they wanna be famous, they don't even know how.

Punkie Johnson 35:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:27 And they'll try to figure out a thing. Like, you've seen people go... They go from acting and then they're acting for a while and then they say, "You know? I'm gonna do standup." We've seen a lot of those.

Punkie Johnson 35:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:34 And then they just... But they don't really love standup. What they really love is getting attention. They got broken when they were younger.

Punkie Johnson 35:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:42 They have a hole inside of them that they need to constantly fill up with other people's attention, and they'll pretend to be someone to get attention.

Punkie Johnson 35:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:51 Which is the, the fucked up thing about auditioning, because you take a person who's, like, super insecure, wants to come to Hollywood for validation, and then you have this process where you have to beg people to like you. You have to go in there-

Punkie Johnson 36:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:04 ... and put on your best show, da-da-da-da-da-

Punkie Johnson 36:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:07 ... and hope these people like you, which completely changes the way people behave.

Punkie Johnson 36:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:11 Because those people that are so desperate for success or really wanna make it, they start behaving and thinking in a way that they think is gonna get them successful in their business, and they can't express unique or individual opinions on things. They can't have controversial views. You're not allowed to. You won't get a gig. And so you, you have all these people that just... They become, like, this sort of...... Hollywood ideology, uh, espousers. They just become these people that talk the same way. Like, you see them, they say... Like, when they see you, they don't say, "Nice to meet you, Punky." They say, "Good to see you." Good to see you because maybe they've seen you already-

Punkie Johnson 36:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:49 ... and maybe they forgot, right? So instead of, like, just saying, "Nice to meet you. Oh, we met. Oh, I'm sorry. When did we meet?" Instead of having a real moment-

Punkie Johnson 36:57 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:57 ... it's good to see you. Everything's good to see you. It's fucking weird.

Punkie Johnson 37:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:01 It's... They're... 'Cause they're like little robots. Like, who the fuck says, "Good to see you"? If like, you brought a friend over, and the friend says, "Hi, this is my friend Punky." "Hi, Punky. Good to see you." Good to see you? Like, what kind of weird people-

Punkie Johnson 37:12 Wha- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 37:12 ... are you bringing over here?

Punkie Johnson 37:13 Like...

Joe Rogan 37:13 Yeah, what the fuck is going on? Good to see me? Yeah, it's good to see. It's good to hear you too.

Punkie Johnson 37:18 The... It's so crazy, you b-... You b-... I'd never thought about that-

Joe Rogan 37:22 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 37:22 ... that process.

Joe Rogan 37:23 So that flavors, that flavors the vibe of the city, because it's the number one industry, or at least the, the most famous industry in, in Los Angeles, is the v-... the television and film industry.

Punkie Johnson 37:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:35 And then, of course, the music business, which is s-... kind of similar. I mean, when the record days and the record days and the radio days, when it was really important, you had to impress these people that were the record executives-

Punkie Johnson 37:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:47 ... and you had to impress these people who are the radio executives, 'cause they would play your music.

Punkie Johnson 37:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:51 And they would pick you, and there were so many people they could pick. And they would pick you, and they have these predatory relationships, where they'd take out an enormous amount of the money that you made.

Punkie Johnson 38:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:00 And that was the only way you're gonna make it. How else are you gonna make it? You gotta go through the system.

Punkie Johnson 38:04 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:05 And a lot of people who made it through, like Prince-

Punkie Johnson 38:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:07 ... he had to change his fucking name because he couldn't perform under the name Prince. He had to use-

Punkie Johnson 38:11 Damn.

Joe Rogan 38:11 ... that crazy logo.

Punkie Johnson 38:13 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 38:14 It's crazy that he pulled it off, though. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 38:15 Yeah. Well-

Joe Rogan 38:15 He's like, "I got an idea, bitch."

Punkie Johnson 38:17 Well also-

Joe Rogan 38:17 "I'm so famous."

Punkie Johnson 38:18 And it's like-

Joe Rogan 38:18 "Everybody knows who the fuck this is."

Punkie Johnson 38:20 I also was like, "I'm, I'm me."

Joe Rogan 38:22 And he did it before social media.

Punkie Johnson 38:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:24 You know?

Punkie Johnson 38:24 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:25 Like, Kanye could change his name every week and people would keep up.

Punkie Johnson 38:27 Kanye can do whatever he want.

Joe Rogan 38:28 He can change his name every week.

Punkie Johnson 38:30 Kanye done did some shit. Kanye still popping. They got some people-

Joe Rogan 38:33 Listen-

Punkie Johnson 38:33 ... that's just...

Joe Rogan 38:33 ... they took a big chunk out of his income, like what, what is hap-... (sighs) It's l-... It's...

Punkie Johnson 38:41 Kanye done said some shit-

Joe Rogan 38:42 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 38:42 ... and done some shit, I mean, some shit that done pissed me off.

Joe Rogan 38:46 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 38:46 But he's not gonna go away.

Joe Rogan 38:48 He's too talented.

Punkie Johnson 38:49 You know, he's, he's just not... He...

Joe Rogan 38:52 He's also... I don't think he's a bad person. I think, I think Kanye, the mistakes that he's made, I think he'll, he'll be pretty honest about it. He's mentally ill, and that mental illness allows him to have insane productivity with music. I mean, you can call it illness, or you could instead say he's got this gift, and this gift sometimes-

Punkie Johnson 39:10 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:10 ... fucking shoots off live rounds in all sorts of different directions. But what it can do is produce some of the best fucking music ever, fucking amazing jams where you listen to them and you, like, over in... You forget sometimes.

Punkie Johnson 39:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:22 Somebody'll play one, you go, "Oh, shit, I forgot about this one." Kanye hits home. Bangers. Like that mind that creates those bangers also says crazy shit about Hitler. (laughs) Like, it's l-... And, and-

Punkie Johnson 39:34 Like, "Kanye, what are you doing?"

Joe Rogan 39:35 (laughs) And-

Punkie Johnson 39:35 "Why would you say that?"

Joe Rogan 39:36 And I think also if you... When he gets embattled, the problem is he wants to fight back.

Punkie Johnson 39:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:43 Like, I think part of the reason why he became a big Trump fan is because Obama called him a jackass.

Punkie Johnson 39:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:49 I really believe that.

Punkie Johnson 39:50 I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 39:51 Yes, I really believe that, because you gotta imagine having the President of the United States refer to you as a jackass, and-

Punkie Johnson 39:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:58 ... the first Black president of United States, one of... Like, in my, in my life, other than Kennedy, who's a better spokesman, who's a better statesman than Obama, who's, like, the most impressive of all presidents? Well, you'd look to a guy and say that... The way that guy thinks and talks, that's a leader. That's a real president of United States. And that guy called him a jackass.

Punkie Johnson 40:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:20 So I think that shit stuck in his head.

Punkie Johnson 40:22 Kanye petty. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:23 I... Fuck yeah, he's petty.

Punkie Johnson 40:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:25 He... I mean, he's... You could tell he's petty. You see the shit that he writes about Pete Davidson?

Punkie Johnson 40:30 Yeah, that one-

Joe Rogan 40:30 He's ruthless.

Punkie Johnson 40:31 ... that was, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:31 He's petty. But, uh, he's... That's also the same mind. That's the same mind that makes him be insanely prolific. That's the same mind that has, like, this genius association to sound and music. It's the same mind. It's a wild mind.

Punkie Johnson 40:43 I'm just glad he done simmered down.

Joe Rogan 40:45 Yeah. Well, he doesn't have a place to-

Punkie Johnson 40:46 Well, I don't want to speak too soon. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:48 (laughs) He doesn't have a place to blow it off anymore, you know, which I also think is not good. I think it's b-... It's probably better to just let him say ridiculous shit on Twitter and let people refute it, you know? I don't think it's a good me-... You know, I don't, I don't think it's a good move to eliminate a guy like that from being able to communicate. I don't think that's the problem. I think... And I don't think he should be medicated either, which is even crazier, because like, when he was medicated, remember, he was all slow and he got chubby?

Punkie Johnson 41:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:13 You remember?

Punkie Johnson 41:14 I didn't know that he was on medication at that time.

Joe Rogan 41:16 They put him on some heavy shit.

Punkie Johnson 41:17 Well, you know what? That can assume-

Joe Rogan 41:19 They, they just slowed him down.

Punkie Johnson 41:20 ... that people like him have to be, you know, medicated. I just, I just feel-

Joe Rogan 41:25 But-

Punkie Johnson 41:25 ... like billionaires sometimes, they have nothing else to do.

Joe Rogan 41:28 But get medicated? (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 41:29 Yeah, it's like... 'Cause it's like you've done everything, you've seen everything, you've won all the awards, you married, uh, what the world considers the baddest bitch. You, you, you, you have, you... It's like, what else is there for you to fucking do?

Joe Rogan 41:44 Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to get medicated. Like, I-

Punkie Johnson 41:46 You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 41:47 But I think-

Punkie Johnson 41:47 But that's what I'm saying. He-

Joe Rogan 41:48 As an artist-

Punkie Johnson 41:48 ... probably got medicated 'cause he had nothing else to do-

Joe Rogan 41:50 Right.

Punkie Johnson 41:50 ... so he started doing shit that he probably wasn't supposed to do. They're like, "All right, let's call him. Go ahead, pop this."

Joe Rogan 41:55 Well, I think, you know, people around him were concerned 'cause he gets manic, but that's... That manic, crazy energy is also what comes out in his music. I mean, talking to him is cr-... wild, 'cause when you're having a conversation with him, like, when I did a podcast with him-

Punkie Johnson 42:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:11 ... it's like, you could see, you can see in some people where their mind is like a runaway train. It's like a runaway train, and ideas are coming in way faster than they're coming into my mind. They're coming in and going, and he'll go from one idea to the next idea. And people say, "Yeah, he's rambling," but I'm like, "But, but is he? Or is he just sort of like he's being infused with way more ideas than we are?"

Punkie Johnson 42:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:37 Like, their comment... Like, Elon's the same way. When you're talking to Elon, when I was talking to him, I was like, "What is going on behind those eyes?"

Punkie Johnson 42:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Like, how many different thought processes-

Punkie Johnson 42:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:45 ... do you have running simultaneously?

Punkie Johnson 42:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:48 Like, that guy never wants to stop. He's like always, he's always got new ideas and thinking.

Punkie Johnson 42:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:52 He's always like innovating, creating.

Punkie Johnson 42:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:55 It's a different kind of way of thinking, and I don't think you get it, and I don't think I get it.

Punkie Johnson 42:59 I damn sure don't get it.

Joe Rogan 43:00 I don't get it.

Punkie Johnson 43:01 I don't get it. I just, I'd just rather Kanye keep all his, uh, shit in his music.

Joe Rogan 43:05 Yes.

Punkie Johnson 43:05 He gotta stop saying some wild-ass shit.

Joe Rogan 43:06 But he says w- sometimes he says wild shit that's really interesting. Like, on my podcast, he goes, "How much is the earth? Like, if I wanted to buy the earth, how much does the earth cost?"

Punkie Johnson 43:14 That's good, that's-

Joe Rogan 43:14 "If all land cost money..."

Punkie Johnson 43:16 ... good and wild shit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:16 Yeah. He's like, "If land costs money, could, could someone have enough money they could buy the whole earth?" I was like, "Oh, shit."

Punkie Johnson 43:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:22 Like, that sounds ridiculous, but if someone like Jeff Bezos has like $200 billion, like that's so much fucking money.

Punkie Johnson 43:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:31 Like, what's to stop someone from having $200 trillion? And how much is the earth? How much is the whole earth? What is it?

Punkie Johnson 43:38 And, and...

Joe Rogan 43:39 What if it's, what if the whole earth's only $100 trillion? You can own it all.

Punkie Johnson 43:42 But also...

Joe Rogan 43:42 Everybody has to pay your rent. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 43:43 (laughs) Also, is, if the earth for sale, who, who's selling that motherfucker?

Joe Rogan 43:47 Who's buying it? (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 43:48 Who's buying, who's selling?

Joe Rogan 43:48 Right.

Punkie Johnson 43:48 You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 43:49 Who's selling it, who's... Someone would have to make-

Punkie Johnson 43:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:51 ... every single person an impossible offer. They would have to make every single person an offer that you could not refuse. That's so much money, that every single person on the planet has to say yes.

Punkie Johnson 44:00 I would think that (laughs) that would be a good investment, owning the earth. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:05 Yeah, I think the only way someone's gonna own the earth is stealing it. They're just gonna for- imminent domain, force people outta the area. That's how people own the earth. I don't think they're ever gonna own the earth by buying it, but, but Kanye having that idea.

Punkie Johnson 44:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:16 Like, how much does the earth cost? I'm like, "How the fuck does that... I've never thought of that." (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 44:19 So, what, that's, that's what I'm... I hope he keep his wild-ass ideas and thoughts there-

Joe Rogan 44:22 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 44:23 ... instead of talking about human beings.

Joe Rogan 44:24 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 44:24 But w-

Joe Rogan 44:25 Sometimes dudes like that need somebody to bounce shit off of, too.

Punkie Johnson 44:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:28 They need, like, a more reasonable crazy person-

Punkie Johnson 44:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:31 ... that's with them that can go, "Slow down, brother."

Punkie Johnson 44:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:33 "I hear you, but slow down." You know?

Punkie Johnson 44:35 With, with Elon Musk, I know people have their thoughts about him, but I had a very great personal conversation with him, and I think people forget that these people that have all this money and these people that are so smart and these people that are on TV, they act-, they're human beings and they have real lives. And me and Elon talked about his family and his children, and that's when I was like, "Okay, this is a real person. This guy has a heart, and I, I think he's actually a good, a good guy." If you sit down and you have an actual conversation with him just, like, off the record.

Joe Rogan 45:06 I love him. I love talking to him. He's a, he's a wonderful person. He's just-

Punkie Johnson 45:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:10 ... a super genius, just a ridiculously smart person, but he's a human being like we all are.

Punkie Johnson 45:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:15 We're all human beings, and you can forget that when you see some dude who's making rockets and-

Punkie Johnson 45:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:18 ... and, you know, making electric-

Punkie Johnson 45:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:20 ... cars and satellites and fucking trying-

Punkie Johnson 45:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:23 ... to fix traffic.

Punkie Johnson 45:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:24 You f- you forget that's just a human being.

Punkie Johnson 45:26 I also thought he was gonna leave everybody at SNL a Tesla. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:30 (laughs)

Narrator 45:31 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 45:31 'Cause the hosts, they leave us gifts, slippers, shoes, hoodies.

Joe Rogan 45:34 Oh, that's hilarious.

Punkie Johnson 45:35 Sometimes we'll come to work the next, after that Saturday, they, they, uh, we have a whole bunch of catered food. "Oh, this food from Jack Harlow, this food from such-and-such." So I was like, "You know what? What if Elon leave us all Teslas?"

Joe Rogan 45:47 Ah.

Punkie Johnson 45:48 I was wrong.

Joe Rogan 45:48 That's so many Teslas.

Punkie Johnson 45:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:50 How many Teslas would that be, for how many people?

Punkie Johnson 45:52 I think it would've been, at the time when he came, I think it would've been 22 Teslas, if I'm not mistaken. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:57 Jesus Christ. (laughs) They probably have a back order on those things anyway. Cars are, I don't know if they've sorted that out yet with new cars, but with new cars, there was a backlog on new cars 'cause of chips.

Punkie Johnson 46:08 Mm.

Joe Rogan 46:09 There's like a problem getting the chips, the computer chips, which are in every fucking car now.

Punkie Johnson 46:14 Ah. What, uh, is the computer chips the, like the, um, so you can know where the car is?

Joe Rogan 46:20 No, so the computer works with the emission system, and everything is computerized now.

Punkie Johnson 46:24 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 46:25 Mo- And then also, there's an operating system. It runs like Apple CarPlay-

Punkie Johnson 46:29 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 46:30 ... and Android CarPlay.

Punkie Johnson 46:30 I don't know nothing about, I don't know shit about cars.

Joe Rogan 46:32 Yeah, well, I'm a car nut.

Punkie Johnson 46:34 Oh, cool.

Joe Rogan 46:35 And so... But, uh, the new ones are confusing to me. Like, I g- I get that all that stuff is important, but it's confusing that we don't even make a lot of that shit-

Punkie Johnson 46:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:44 ... over here. Like, you know, a l- lot of the chips, they're making them overseas.

Punkie Johnson 46:48 Oh.

Joe Rogan 46:48 Yeah, so I think they're having ... I, I think Elon's working on making chips here and Samsung is working on making chips here, but I think a lot of that was exposed during the pandemic that a l- a lot of chips are being made overseas, and they need them for cars.

Punkie Johnson 46:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:00 So there's a big delay for a lot of different, uh, manufacturers. So probably a lot of them are looking at trying to figure out a way, but, uh, I had, uh, Saagar and Krystal from Breaking Points on the other day, and Saagar was explaining in depth, and he was saying that that shit takes like 10 years. Like, when you, when you're, when you want to start a factory and start building computer chips in America, that's like 10 years from now, you can. They're like-

Punkie Johnson 47:23 God damn.

Joe Rogan 47:24 ... "That shit takes forever."

Punkie Johnson 47:25 Yeah. That's why I stay, my... I, technology confuses me. Politics confuses me. Those are two things I like to just-

Joe Rogan 47:31 They're good.

Punkie Johnson 47:32 Like, when I go buy a car-

Joe Rogan 47:34 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 47:34 ... it's so simple and fast with me. I go in a lot, I be like, "I want that one." They say, "Okay."

Joe Rogan 47:40 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 47:40 It, I be in and I be out.

Joe Rogan 47:42 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 47:42 They give me a price. If I like it, I like it. If I don't, I don't. I be like, "Nah," but we can't go down no more. "Aight, bet. I'ma go down the road then." Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Joe Rogan 47:50 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 47:51 "What's up?" I say, "This is what I want, this is how much I wanna pay for it, and I don't wanna get in that room, and then you offer me all kind of other shit. I want the tires included, I want the oil included."

Joe Rogan 48:00 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 48:00 (laughs) "I want the fucking windshield included, and when I get in that office, I want it to still be that price."

Joe Rogan 48:05 Do you remember that, did you see the movie Fargo? Have you ever seen that movie?

Punkie Johnson 48:08 N- is that, is that Ben Affleck? Who is that?

Joe Rogan 48:11 No, Fargo is, uh, uh, Steve Buscemi and, uh, a- it's, uh, it's a Coen brothers movie. Um.

Punkie Johnson 48:19 No.

Joe Rogan 48:19 Frances Mcdormand.

Punkie Johnson 48:21 I don't know why I'm seeing-

Joe Rogan 48:23 Um.

Punkie Johnson 48:23 ... Ben, Ben Affleck in a suit.

Joe Rogan 48:23 But there's a-

Punkie Johnson 48:24 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 48:24 ... hilarious scene where... What is the gentleman's name, the redheaded guy?

Narrator 48:29 William H. Macy.

Joe Rogan 48:29 William H. Macy, who's hilarious, in this movie. He's trying to sell the undercarriage treatment. Like, he's trying to sell it to these people, like, like as an upgrade to the car. And they're like, "We don't want that." And then he's like, "Well, I already added it on," and then, and then there's like this big like, "Why the fuck did you add it on?"

Punkie Johnson 48:45 (laughs) At a NEXPO.

Joe Rogan 48:46 Because like, yeah...... like, I'm not paying for that.

Punkie Johnson 48:48 No.

Joe Rogan 48:48 Look, there's this big thi- it's really funny, man, because it's like-

Punkie Johnson 48:50 Oh, I gotta see it then.

Joe Rogan 48:51 ... there's so many of those salesmen that do that. You're like, "Dude, please stop."

Punkie Johnson 48:55 No, just-

Joe Rogan 48:55 "Stop with this upselling."

Punkie Johnson 48:57 If it, my thing is, I like warranties. I'll take warranty 'cause I like-

Joe Rogan 49:00 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 49:00 ... the leased cars, 'cause every three years, I want another one. I'll lease it. I ain't gotta own it. Fuck it.

Joe Rogan 49:05 That's smart.

Punkie Johnson 49:05 I don't give a shit. I want a new one.

Joe Rogan 49:06 What are you driving?

Punkie Johnson 49:08 I'm in a Jeep Wrangler right now.

Joe Rogan 49:09 Oh, those are great.

Punkie Johnson 49:10 Yeah, I, oh, I love that motherfucker. Ooh.

Joe Rogan 49:12 You know, look how many Jeep are on the road. I mean, think about how many, how long Jeep's been around for. They nailed that shape so good, they don't even change it.

Punkie Johnson 49:19 Man, the tires are dis big.

Joe Rogan 49:21 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 49:21 I'm riding up high.

Joe Rogan 49:22 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 49:22 I'm going over, I'm going over the, over the neutral ground. I'm, I'm-

Joe Rogan 49:26 That's a real four-wheel drive vehicle-

Punkie Johnson 49:28 Man.

Joe Rogan 49:28 ... you could drive anywhere. Like, you could go somewhere in a f- a Jeep, you could go off road, whoop-di-do, you're in the woods.

Punkie Johnson 49:34 On roads, on road, uh-

Joe Rogan 49:35 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 49:35 ... uh, sand.

Joe Rogan 49:36 They nailed that shape. I mean, when they first started making Jeeps, like, what year was that? Whoop-doo-

Narrator 49:41 Well, wow.

Joe Rogan 49:41 Did-

Narrator 49:42 It looks the same as the, done in the '80s approximately though.

Joe Rogan 49:44 Yeah.

Narrator 49:45 Made in the before-

Joe Rogan 49:45 Oh, yeah. That looks fucking great though. It's a great shape.

Punkie Johnson 49:48 Oh, yeah, I love it. I got a wheelie.

Joe Rogan 49:50 They're so reliable too.

Punkie Johnson 49:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:52 I mean, those f- they're so, because it's a durable off-road vehicle, like, there's a lot of shit you don't have to worry about if you get a Jeep that you have to worry about with cars, like if you run over something.

Punkie Johnson 50:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:00 You can run over stupid shit that's in the road.

Punkie Johnson 50:02 Anything.

Joe Rogan 50:03 Or bounce over, like, a little divot in the ground. It's not as big a deal.

Punkie Johnson 50:07 That's why I get, that's why I'm like, I want all the warranties-

Joe Rogan 50:09 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 50:09 ... included in the note before we get in there.

Joe Rogan 50:12 If I lived in the East Coast, for sure, I'd have a Jeep.

Punkie Johnson 50:14 Oh, 100%.

Joe Rogan 50:15 Because it's the snow and the potholes.

Punkie Johnson 50:17 Yep.

Joe Rogan 50:18 And the potholes are a big one. You need some sort of a, like, a rugged four-wheel drive vehicle if you wanna get through a winter there.

Punkie Johnson 50:23 I don't slow down on the potholes either. That Jeep-

Joe Rogan 50:26 (laughs) Boom.

Punkie Johnson 50:26 That Jeep be manhandling them potholes.

Joe Rogan 50:28 Just absorbs them, absorbs them.

Punkie Johnson 50:29 Pop, pop.

Joe Rogan 50:29 You know what I like too? That new Bronco. Ford figured out a new Bronco.

Punkie Johnson 50:33 I, you know, I'm a Bronco fan.

Joe Rogan 50:35 It's pretty sweet.

Punkie Johnson 50:35 But I'm not a fan of the body of the new ones.

Joe Rogan 50:39 (sighs) How dare you?

Punkie Johnson 50:40 Let me pull it, can you pull it up? Let me look at it.

Joe Rogan 50:42 Do you remember my '72 Bronco?

Punkie Johnson 50:45 Th- now, that's the type, that's the Bronco.

Joe Rogan 50:47 Yeah, yeah.

Punkie Johnson 50:48 Now-

Joe Rogan 50:48 The one I used to bring to the store all the time.

Punkie Johnson 50:49 Man, like, see-

Narrator 50:50 I think you have too many choices for this new one.

Joe Rogan 50:52 Too many choices?

Narrator 50:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:52 That's a old one, brother.

Narrator 50:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:53 The one you have your cursor over?

Narrator 50:55 I know, but I'm s- this is, I just typed in Ford Bronco.

Joe Rogan 50:56 Oh, I know, I saw.

Narrator 50:57 It says 2023 here. But, like-

Punkie Johnson 50:58 Um-

Narrator 50:58 ... I drove one and it sucked, but it wasn't the good one. I know there's better versions of it. The black baseline-

Joe Rogan 51:02 It sucked? Really?

Narrator 51:03 ... rental car version, yeah. It sucked.

Joe Rogan 51:04 No, not good?

Narrator 51:05 Nah, not at all.

Joe Rogan 51:06 Well, go, go back to that link that you were just looking at-

Narrator 51:08 I, I need to do that.

Joe Rogan 51:09 ... and click on that one that says, the Raptor. There's a, there's a Bronco Raptor right below that. The black one? Sorry, all black. To the left of that.

Narrator 51:16 Oh.

Joe Rogan 51:16 You were almost there. To the left of that.

Narrator 51:18 This one?

Joe Rogan 51:18 Yeah, that one. That's a Bronco Raptor.

Punkie Johnson 51:21 Okay, all right.

Joe Rogan 51:21 So that's, uh, a regular Bronco with, like, a beefier setup and a heavy duty engine.

Punkie Johnson 51:27 Okay.

Joe Rogan 51:28 I think th- I think that has, like, what does that have for, uh, horsepower? Something crazy. But Jeep has one like that too. Jeep has, like, a...

Punkie Johnson 51:35 Now, see, I like that. I ain't gonna lie.

Joe Rogan 51:37 Like the big V8.

Punkie Johnson 51:37 I do like that one.

Joe Rogan 51:38 What does it have for horsepower?

Narrator 51:40 Uh, does it say?

Joe Rogan 51:41 Does it say?

Narrator 51:41 I'm sure it will.

Joe Rogan 51:42 Um, I don't wanna over exaggerate, but I think it's in the neighborhood of 500 horsepower.

Narrator 51:48 Huge. I'm looking for that number.

Joe Rogan 51:51 0 to 60 in 5.2 seconds.

Punkie Johnson 51:54 Damn.

Narrator 51:55 Uh, 500 to 600, so it doesn't surprise me with that number.

Punkie Johnson 51:56 Oh.

Joe Rogan 51:57 Oh, interesting.

Punkie Johnson 51:58 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 51:59 That's a lot.

Narrator 51:59 Not surprising, this feature.

Joe Rogan 51:59 That's plenty.

Narrator 52:01 Oh, hold on. The-

Joe Rogan 52:01 The-

Narrator 52:01 4.18.

Joe Rogan 52:02 Oh, it only has 418? So what is it about 500 or 600?

Narrator 52:08 Uh, it doesn't put up with SUVs that have horsepower in the five range.

Joe Rogan 52:10 Oh, it doesn't put it up with SUVs?

Narrator 52:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:12 Oh, okay. Well, um, there's a bunch-

Punkie Johnson 52:15 Oh.

Joe Rogan 52:15 ... of people that do shit to those things too. But that's, uh, that's real similar to the V8, the big V8 that's in the, uh, Wrangler too.

Punkie Johnson 52:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:24 But the point is, like, those cars, that, that's a similar sort of thing.

Punkie Johnson 52:27 The only thing is, you-

Joe Rogan 52:28 You drive anywhere with that thing.

Punkie Johnson 52:28 ... like, the, the Jeep, you can't, you can't, uh, recklessly drive the Jeep. It'll flip on you ass. You can't just be sitting up there sp-

Joe Rogan 52:34 Oh, yeah.

Punkie Johnson 52:35 ... spinning a curb and busting a whip. Nah.

Joe Rogan 52:37 It's not good for handling.

Punkie Johnson 52:39 No. (laughs) No.

Joe Rogan 52:39 Yeah, yeah. Drive normal, you freak.

Punkie Johnson 52:40 Yeah, drive normal in your Jeep, 'cause it remind me of the Xterra, just like...

Joe Rogan 52:46 Yeah, they're top-heavy.

Punkie Johnson 52:47 Like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:47 Imagine a Sprinter van, trying to do laps in a Sprinter van, one of those ridiculous things?

Punkie Johnson 52:51 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 52:52 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 52:52 Well, well, you, you'll kill yourself.

Joe Rogan 52:55 Yeah, those aren't good.

Punkie Johnson 52:56 But you can't. I ain't saying go.

Joe Rogan 52:57 Who has a podcast set up in a Sprinter van? Doesn't someone have one?

Narrator 53:00 Steve-O.

Joe Rogan 53:01 Steve-O, yeah.

Punkie Johnson 53:02 Really?

Joe Rogan 53:02 Steve-O has, like, a Sprinter van that's set up as a podcast studio, and-

Punkie Johnson 53:07 Oh, that's dope.

Joe Rogan 53:07 ... travels around with it and just films his podcast in the back of it.

Punkie Johnson 53:11 Okay, I might have to check that out.

Joe Rogan 53:13 Yeah, it's a great idea.

Punkie Johnson 53:14 Yeah. I had a friend, uh, Ron Taylor. Well, he's still my friend. I didn't had.

Joe Rogan 53:18 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 53:18 He's my friend. Um, he used to do, like, cooking tutorials in his van.

Joe Rogan 53:25 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 53:25 He would have, like, a little, uh-

Joe Rogan 53:27 Oh.

Punkie Johnson 53:27 He would have, like, a little, what did, what you call it? Like, waddlem in the middle.

Joe Rogan 53:30 Little kitchenette?

Punkie Johnson 53:30 A little, yeah, like a little hot pot or whatever you call that shit.

Joe Rogan 53:34 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 53:34 And-

Narrator 53:34 Hot plate?

Punkie Johnson 53:35 Yeah, like, a little hot plate situation that you'll use for a dorm room and-

Joe Rogan 53:38 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 53:38 ... he would invite guests and we'll cook and we'll talk.

Joe Rogan 53:41 Mm, in a van.

Punkie Johnson 53:42 And you cook in the back of the van-

Joe Rogan 53:44 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 53:44 ... together and you talk, what, about what you're cooking. Then we both go sit in the driver's seat and the passenger seat and we finish the podcast.

Joe Rogan 53:50 Nice.

Punkie Johnson 53:51 It was, it, it, I'm like, "Ron, this needs to be a television show." Before we get in there.

Joe Rogan 53:54 That's a good idea.

Punkie Johnson 53:56 I'm still trying to figure out why it ain't on TV right now. I'm like, "Ron, what are you doing?"

Joe Rogan 53:59 Well, there's something cool about, like, making, getting by with, like, a limited resource, you know?

Punkie Johnson 54:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:04 Little hot pot.

Punkie Johnson 54:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:05 Everyone working together.

Punkie Johnson 54:06 But he cooking gourmet meals.

Joe Rogan 54:08 Really?

Punkie Johnson 54:08 This motherfucker up in there making lobster.

Joe Rogan 54:11 Really?

Punkie Johnson 54:11 Uh, pasta. I remember how he made, like, a big thing of meat sauce, spaghetti, broccoli. He not making noodles and cheese.

Joe Rogan 54:21 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 54:22 This motherfucker cooking.

Joe Rogan 54:23 Mm-hmm.

Punkie Johnson 54:24 I'm like, "Let's go."

Joe Rogan 54:26 Well, and then, uh, Bert has that show, Something's Burning, which is a hilarious show.

Punkie Johnson 54:30 I think I saw a episode or two.

Joe Rogan 54:31 You gotta be on that.

Punkie Johnson 54:33 Yeah, I'm gonna have to hit Burt up.

Joe Rogan 54:33 How about you and me together? 'Cause I'm supposed to do it.

Punkie Johnson 54:35 All right, let's do it. I'm-

Joe Rogan 54:36 Hit Burt up.

Punkie Johnson 54:37 I'ma hit Burt up.

Joe Rogan 54:37 You and me together on Something's Burning.

Punkie Johnson 54:39 So, I'm, I'm guessing Bert be fucking everything up, huh? No.

Joe Rogan 54:42 No, he's good.

Punkie Johnson 54:43 All right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:44 L- l- he loves food. He knows how to cook a little bit.

Punkie Johnson 54:46 Yeah. Just saw Bert, man. That man, he is out there killing it.

Joe Rogan 54:50 Yeah. I love Bert.

Punkie Johnson 54:51 Shirt off.

Joe Rogan 54:52 I lo- I love that he's blowing up and he's m- he's 100% himself, you know?

Punkie Johnson 54:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:57 That's, that's who authentically Bert Kreischer is.

Punkie Johnson 54:59 He get-

Joe Rogan 55:00 I love it.

Punkie Johnson 55:00 ... he gets his wife on the line for the shows.

Joe Rogan 55:03 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 55:03 And that's, that's good to get... There, there my boy go.

Joe Rogan 55:06 Look at him. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 55:06 I think his wife gonna be on the phone. Look at that. Look at that.

Joe Rogan 55:09 Look at that, selling out arenas. He's killing it.

Punkie Johnson 55:11 Killing his beer.

Joe Rogan 55:13 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 55:13 I think my homeboy, uh, uh, Stephen Furry was opening up for him for a while. Probably still doing it.

Joe Rogan 55:21 I called Bert up once. He answered the phone, he was on a motorcycle in Vietnam.

Punkie Johnson 55:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:26 I go, "What are you doing?" And he goes, "I'm over here riding a motorcycle in Vietnam-"

Punkie Johnson 55:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:30 "... filming my channel show." And I go, "Dude, you need to quit that fucking show. You need to quit that show and be a comic." He goes, "Really?" I go, "Yeah." I go, "You're too funny. You're too funny, man, to be on a travel channel show. I mean, it's a great gig, but I think you got everything out of it that you're ever gonna get out of it, and I think it's holding you back now. You take months and months off of standup where you have to tour or to, to travel and do this show."

Punkie Johnson 55:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:51 "It's a good show and it's a good gig, but you can do a lot better. Like, you could do way better with standup and podcasts."

Punkie Johnson 55:58 I think-

Joe Rogan 55:58 And he listened. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 56:00 So, this, this, so, this was back, back in the day?

Joe Rogan 56:02 Yeah. It was back in the day when he was on Bert The Conqueror and, uh, there was, uh, there was another show where Hurt Bert was terrible. They k- they were hurting him in every episode. Every episode people would, like, choke him unconscious, hit him with a bat. It was, like, so ridiculous.

Punkie Johnson 56:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:15 It was different stunts and things that he would do. He did that for a little while. That's, that's a dangerous path, the, uh, the, the Jackass path.

Punkie Johnson 56:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:23 Those guys are all beat up. Like-

Punkie Johnson 56:25 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:26 ... physically, you get fucking hurt bad doing that.

Punkie Johnson 56:28 You get hurt bad. Uh, animal shows, dangerous.

Joe Rogan 56:31 Fuck that.

Punkie Johnson 56:32 Nah.

Joe Rogan 56:32 I had Steve-O on and he showed a video once of him on a tree, and lions climbed up the tree and were fucking with him, and they, they took his hat, they knocked his hat off.

Punkie Johnson 56:42 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 56:42 And I was like, "Oh my God, those are real lions, dude. This is in Africa."

Punkie Johnson 56:45 I don't want to be there.

Joe Rogan 56:45 Real lions.

Punkie Johnson 56:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:46 Not, not tame lions at some fucking circus.

Punkie Johnson 56:50 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 56:50 Hoo!

Punkie Johnson 56:51 I ain't never going up, never.

Joe Rogan 56:53 Oh.

Punkie Johnson 56:53 Ever, ever. I don't really like the zoo, like talking about it.

Joe Rogan 56:56 Oof. I don't like the zoo.

Punkie Johnson 56:58 Uh-uh. Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 56:58 I don't like the zoo.

Punkie Johnson 56:59 They, them animals are wild. They need to be free.

Joe Rogan 57:01 Yeah. Exactly.

Punkie Johnson 57:01 And everybody acting all surprised when things happen. They, they fucking animals.

Joe Rogan 57:04 It's very c- it's very confusing, right? Because y- you're like, "Well, where do we put them?" And that's a good point. And how do you make sure that they stay, uh, keep off the endangered species list? That's a good point too. But that is hell.

Punkie Johnson 57:16 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 57:16 Especially for the primates. I was in Denver once. I'll never forget this. I was walking with my family, 'cause my, you know, when my kids were real little, I loved to take them to the zoo, because they're so fascinating.

Punkie Johnson 57:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:28 They're so f- I mean, it's horrible that you're supporting this thing, but selfishly I was like, "Look, it exists, it exists already, uh, there's nothing I can do about it."

Punkie Johnson 57:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:37 "And I'm not gonna, like, stop them from b- ... If I boycott, if I stand up and say, 'I'm not gonna pay,' it's still gonna be there. And m- I want my kids to see these animals."

Punkie Johnson 57:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:45 It's a, it's a weird experience. And, uh, this primate, I don't know what kind of monkey it was, but it was in its cage and it was screaming, like a crazy person in prison, like, "No!"

Punkie Johnson 57:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:58 That's what it felt like. And I was like, I told my wife, I was like, I go, "This is depressing."

Punkie Johnson 58:03 Very.

Joe Rogan 58:03 I'm like, "I gotta get away from this." I'm like, "This is really bumming me out."

Punkie Johnson 58:08 We gotta free these animals. I want, I honestly want, like... The way my, the way I envision my life, right, like, I want... If, if it was up to me, I would have a ranch in a town, a country town, where the next grocery store is 20, 30 minutes out. Like, I just wanna live away.

Joe Rogan 58:27 This is your spot then, Punky.

Punkie Johnson 58:28 Right? That's what I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 58:29 You need to come to Texas.

Punkie Johnson 58:30 I just wanna live away, Joe.

Joe Rogan 58:31 That's how people live out here.

Punkie Johnson 58:32 I want a ranch-style home.

Joe Rogan 58:35 Let's go. Let's go, Punky.

Punkie Johnson 58:36 I want about a acre of land. Not too much.

Joe Rogan 58:38 I'm gonna teach you how to bow hunt.

Punkie Johnson 58:39 You, y- oh, I need to go hunting with you.

Joe Rogan 58:42 Let's go.

Punkie Johnson 58:43 I wrote a sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan, okay?

Joe Rogan 58:46 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 58:46 Something happened that I had to shelf it that week, but it was a Thanksgiving sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan.

Joe Rogan 58:53 Ha.

Punkie Johnson 58:53 Um, and it was, it was you just, like, killing all of these (laughs) exotic animals and, like, these people were, these... And we would just see these people in the woods who were kind of just like touring, not killing. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:04 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Punkie Johnson 59:06 And when (laughs) you was just a wild man. Like, it was, it was crazy. I wanted to get you down to, like, guest star, but whatever, whatever. I'll bring that sketch back. We had to shelf it that week, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But-

Joe Rogan 59:16 Sketches are fun, but it'd be more fun to actually take you hunting for real.

Punkie Johnson 59:19 I, I, I gotta do it now.

Joe Rogan 59:20 Have you ever shot a gun before?

Punkie Johnson 59:22 Oh, oh, my parents are NOP- well, they retired.

Joe Rogan 59:24 Yeah? Okay.

Punkie Johnson 59:25 Yes, yes. My mother worked for the, uh, the, the, uh, the Levee District Police and my father was actual NOPD-

Joe Rogan 59:33 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 59:33 ... for a long time. He retired and now he does, uh, now he runs the security for the hospital.

Joe Rogan 59:39 Mm.

Punkie Johnson 59:39 Because my mama made him go back to work. But, um, we, yeah, I was raised around guns. I remember I bought my first gun and I was so excited.

Joe Rogan 59:50 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 59:50 I called my dad and I was like, "I bought my first gun." He was like, "Yeah? What you got?"

Joe Rogan 59:53 Was that in LA?

Punkie Johnson 59:54 Nah, nah, nah, this was in, uh, New Orleans.

Joe Rogan 59:55 New Orleans?

Punkie Johnson 59:55 Yeah. I was like, uh, I said, "Bought my first gun." He was like, "For real?" He's like, "What you got?" I said, "I got a nine." He was like, "Fucking bitch ass gun." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 Wow. That's hardcore.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:05 He was like, "A nine?"

Joe Rogan 1:00:06 What did he want you to get, a .45?

Punkie Johnson 1:00:07 Peop- .40, .45, something.

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 Jesus.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:10 Something just... I was thinking lighter. He was like, "Nah." He's like, "The heavier it is, the better it is." He's like, ".45," you know-

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:20 ... ".40." But, you know, it's like he always made sure we were responsible. Like, "Don't be out here stupid with this gun. Keep it locked up, keep it safe, go to the range. Understand your weapon."

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:29 "Don't be out here wilding out. Don't use it to stunt. Don't use it, you know, for no validation in the hood. We don't, we don't have guns for all of that in my family."

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 I saw the-

Punkie Johnson 1:00:37 It's for the house.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 I saw the most fucked up video.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:39 What?

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 There's so many fucked up videos of people getting shot on Instagram now.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:43 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:00:43 But I saw this one where these people were playing in a car and this girl pulls out her gun...... and accidentally shoots her friend in the head.

Punkie Johnson 1:00:51 I hate that.

Joe Rogan 1:00:52 And he just, like, slumps over and dies, like, right on the street. She was just pulling out a gun to show it, and they were all, they were all casual and laughing, and bang.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:01 The gun, the gun goes off and-

Punkie Johnson 1:01:02 It's careless. She don't know what she doing.

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 ... shoots him in the head. It was-

Punkie Johnson 1:01:04 It's just careless. It's like, and you, and you going to jail. Even though it was an accident, you going to jail.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 Yeah, yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:09 Because, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 And he's dead, and a man's dead.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:11 You, you... It wasn't intentional, but you killed somebody.

Joe Rogan 1:01:14 It was horrible.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:15 And... Yeah, and it's like, my thing is, if you're gonna have a weapon, be, be responsible with it. Learn how to use it, learn how to take it apart, clean it, put your, put your bullets in there. Learn, just learn about-

Joe Rogan 1:01:23 Yeah.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:23 ... your weapon.

Joe Rogan 1:01:24 I was just thinking how ridiculous it was that Clint Eastwood had a movie where the star of the movie was that he had the biggest gun. He had a .44 Magnum.

Punkie Johnson 1:01:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:32 Remember? D- did you ever watch Dirty Harry?

Punkie Johnson 1:01:35 No.

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 That was the whole premise of the movie. Like, everybody else had a .38. He's got a .44. "You might think-"

Punkie Johnson 1:01:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 "...Did I shoot all those bullets or did I not? Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Punkie Johnson 1:01:46 I'ma, I'ma have to write-

Joe Rogan 1:01:47 Oh, do you?

Punkie Johnson 1:01:48 ... that one down. No. I gotta, I gotta watch that one. I'm-

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 It's a corny-ass movie. And it's a, it's a movie that, if you watch it now, it's so dated. So, go to, go to the scene where Clint Eastwood says, "Do you feel lucky?" From Dirty Harry, where the guy is like... The guy's like a cartoonish bad guy. Like, the most evil, cartoonish bad guy. And Clint Eastwood gives him this, "Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

Punkie Johnson 1:02:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 And then he, he fucking... Of course he shoots him. (guns firing) Absolutely nuts. This is a classic scene.

1:02:19 Uh, I know what you're thinking, that if I have six shots or only five. Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I've kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question. "Do I feel lucky?" "Well, do ya, punk?"

1:02:55 (laughs)

1:03:04 Hey. I gots to know.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:03:11 What the fuck? (laughs) Whoa, shut up.

Joe Rogan 1:03:15 He wanted to know whether or not he had the bullets?

Punkie Johnson 1:03:17 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 Oh.

1:03:24 See, I re- I've, I've, I remember this entirely wrong.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:27 (laughs) That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 I re-... I thought it was a Mexican dude.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 I remember this entirely wrong. Uh, in my mind, it was a Mexican dude and he shot him.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:35 I'm just laughing at, "I gots to know." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:38 "I gots to know." So crazy. So crazy.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:42 That's... Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 1:03:43 That dude probably spoke like Sidney Poitier.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:45 And they gave him that role. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:03:47 "I gots to know." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:49 Oh. Oh, my God.

Punkie Johnson 1:03:51 That was hilarious. I wouldn't have wanted to know shit.

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 "Well, do ya, punk?"

Punkie Johnson 1:03:56 I, I-

Joe Rogan 1:03:56 The, uh, those movies, movies back then were so corny. This is... Oh, that's the other one. That's the other one. He... This is the one.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 He's got multiple ones. (laughs) This is... Do, do you feel lucky, punk, part two.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:09 Go back to the beginning-

Punkie Johnson 1:04:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:10 ... 'cause I gotta hear him say it.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:11 I don't think he said it yet here.

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 Oh, yeah. He said it. No?

Punkie Johnson 1:04:14 No, no.

Joe Rogan 1:04:14 Oh, okay.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:15 It doesn't seem like there's much going on here.

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 Oh, he's holding the guy. There it is.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:17 That's why the movie's so good.

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 Blow his brains out. You know, the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:21 Geese, it's the same line.

Joe Rogan 1:04:22 Yes.

1:04:22 I didn't think you, punk. You're thinking, "Did he fire six shots?"

1:04:27 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:04:27 (laughs) What the fuck is this?

Joe Rogan 1:04:29 Now, to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and will blow your head clean off, you gotta ask yourself a question. "Do I feel lucky?"

1:04:48 (laughs)

1:04:51 "Well, do ya, punk?"

1:04:52 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:04:54 More intense. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 Oh, he feels lucky.

Punkie Johnson 1:04:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:59 Oh, (gun firing) oh.

Punkie Johnson 1:05:02 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:05:03 (water splashing) Okay, I'll take it.

Punkie Johnson 1:05:08 Bad choice.

Joe Rogan 1:05:09 That was the one I kinda remember.

Punkie Johnson 1:05:10 Does it happen a third time?

Joe Rogan 1:05:11 Even... I remember that wrong. Diff-... I... It's so funny how you, like... I haven't seen that movie in probably 20 years.

Punkie Johnson 1:05:16 That was in the same movie.

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 More than 20 years.

Punkie Johnson 1:05:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:19 That was in the same movie?

Punkie Johnson 1:05:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:21 No fucking way. He said it twice?

Punkie Johnson 1:05:23 It both... Uh, both... I'm... Unless they made Dirty... I don't... This is... I don't know if they made Dirty Harry more than once.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:05:29 Why wouldn't they? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:30 They need to do it now, when he's 1,000 years old. "Do you feel lucky?"

Punkie Johnson 1:05:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 "How do you, punk?"

Punkie Johnson 1:05:36 Uh-

Joe Rogan 1:05:36 Meanwhile, that dude also did The Unforgiven, which is like the greatest Western of all time. Like, he did a lot of corny-ass movies, but he also did some fucking amazing movies, man.

Punkie Johnson 1:05:47 I gotta take some time and watch some old movies. I, I, I, I just have to. I, I... See, I just have this crazy obsession with two things that I watch over and over again, and-

Joe Rogan 1:05:56 What type?

Punkie Johnson 1:05:57 Fricking Grey's Anatomy and Walking Dead. Like, that's it. I'll watch all of that, and then I'll go back to Walking Dead, and then... I have got to stop. It's a problem.

Joe Rogan 1:06:07 I can't watch The Walking Dead more than once, 'cause I know what happens.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:11 I get...

Joe Rogan 1:06:11 (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:06:12 I, I start falling in love with characters.

Joe Rogan 1:06:15 Oh, no.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:15 So, that's my problem. And I just be n- missing them and gotta see them. I know, I know, I know.

Joe Rogan 1:06:22 Do you know what I started? Uh, The Last of Us?

Punkie Johnson 1:06:24 That new one?

Joe Rogan 1:06:25 The new HBO one?

Punkie Johnson 1:06:25 I'm gonna go ahead and say he says this in all of these movies.

Joe Rogan 1:06:27 Oh, my God.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:28 (laughs) He... So, there's five of them? At least.

Joe Rogan 1:06:32 Oh, my God.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:33 And this one seems, seems a little later, The Dead Pool.

Joe Rogan 1:06:34 From '71 to '88, he made those movies.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:37 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:06:38 That's insane.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:39 The Enforcer.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:40 The second one is...

Joe Rogan 1:06:40 Magnum Force.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:41 ... is in that one. We just-

Joe Rogan 1:06:42 Uh, Sudden Impact. (laughs)

Punkie Johnson 1:06:45 (laughs) Clint.

Joe Rogan 1:06:48 ... bro, those movies are awesome. But you know what's even more awesome? You know what I've, I've been watching on YouTube? Dudes who review the latest Steven Seagal movies.

Punkie Johnson 1:06:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:57 Like, there's the... (laughs) You know, look, Above the Law is the shit. I still maintain to this day-

Punkie Johnson 1:07:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:02 Above the Law is a-

Punkie Johnson 1:07:03 I wanna go too far before that. Jim Carrey-

Joe Rogan 1:07:03 ... great fucking action movie.

Punkie Johnson 1:07:05 Jim Carrey's in one of these. Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:07:07 Oh, wow. He lip synced to Guns N' Roses in a Clint Eastwood movie.

Punkie Johnson 1:07:12 Love it.

Joe Rogan 1:07:12 So that was in the '70s or the '80s probably?

Punkie Johnson 1:07:14 I think that was the '88 one.

Joe Rogan 1:07:15 Okay. Um-

Punkie Johnson 1:07:16 Love the Abo- love the Above the Law.

Joe Rogan 1:07:19 So the early Steven Seagal movies were legit. They were great. They were fun.

Punkie Johnson 1:07:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:24 He looked like a bad motherfucker. Like, I believed it. I think it was,