Joe Rogan Experience #1944 - Ryan Long

1. 0:00 – 0:12

   Intro

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

2. 0:12 – 1:55

   Plastic Bottles

   1. NANarrator0:12

   2. RLRyan Long0:12

      I hold the record for it.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Yep. What do you hold the record for?

   4. RLRyan Long0:15

      Longest, uh, bottle reused in my podcast.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      (laughs) Of water?

   6. RLRyan Long0:19

      Two, uh, two years I had the same bottle.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      No.

   8. RLRyan Long0:22

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until... Yeah, the guy I did the podcast with was like, "The amount of carcinogenics-"

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:26

      (laughs)

   10. RLRyan Long0:26

       "... must be running through your body."

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       So, were you just adding water to it all the time?

   12. RLRyan Long0:30

       Yeah, yeah. Every day I'd come in... I'm the ultimate environmentalist, really.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       I don't know if that's bad for you. I think what, what's bad for you is just drinking out of plastic, period. Like, if your bottle is f- sitting there filled with water for months and months on a shelf, wouldn't that leach more plastic in it than water that you just pour in there?

   14. RLRyan Long0:51

       Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       It would, it would seem to me that, like, the real fear would be, I think... Correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm definitely wrong (laughs) , but I think the-

   16. RLRyan Long0:59

       Propaganda-

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       I think the real... No-

   18. RLRyan Long1:01

       ... from Big Water.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       The real fear is, um, the heat. I think, uh, when you, like, have plastic bottles are sitting outside in the sun-

   20. RLRyan Long1:09

       Yeah, I leave them in the sun.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       ... that's an issue.

   22. RLRyan Long1:10

       So I like them to marinate.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:13

       (laughs) That's when you get all the phthalates in your dick shrinks.

   24. RLRyan Long1:16

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:16

       That's what's happening to people, you know?

   26. RLRyan Long1:18

       You th- Well... Oh, yeah. Sorry.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:19

       Yeah. No, we're-

   28. RLRyan Long1:20

       We starting? Sh-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:20

       We're, we're... Yeah, we already started.

   30. RLRyan Long1:21

       Okay, we're starting?
3. 1:55 – 2:40

   Penis Length

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:55

   2. RLRyan Long1:55

      I agree.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:55

      You know, it's a system of 10s.

   4. NANarrator1:56

      Stanford scope, is it, uh-

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:58

      An increase in penile length cause for concern? What fucking... What are you concerned about?

   6. RLRyan Long2:02

      It's cause for concern for the ladies, you know?

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:04

      What are you concer- ... Yeah, what are you concerned about?

   8. RLRyan Long2:05

      Ladies are walking funny to work every day.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:07

      Look at this, "Erect penile length is getting longer from an average of 4.8 inches..." Go to that. What does it say there? Oh.

   10. RLRyan Long2:15

       Oh, that was the Vice article.

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:16

       (laughs) Here's where it's actually a problem.

   12. RLRyan Long2:18

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:18

       It's a problem.

   14. RLRyan Long2:19

       No, this was...

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:19

       Ah.

   16. RLRyan Long2:19

       I think this was originally a Vice article.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:22

       Ugh.

   18. RLRyan Long2:22

       This one, this is from a couple of years ago, and there was a guy writing how actually small dicks are kind of better if you think about it. (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:28

       Oh, sure, buddy. (laughs) No women are writing that article.

   20. RLRyan Long2:33

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:34

       That's such... It's so sad. The penis size-

   22. RLRyan Long2:36

       A solid article.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:36

       ... is so s-... There's not a damn thing they could do about it. They could put a man on the moon. They

4. 2:40 – 10:07

   Penis Size

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:40

      can't make your dick bigger.

   2. RLRyan Long2:41

      They have not... They've, they do the enlargement, but it doesn't work all that great. There was a guy... I actually used to do a bit about... There was a guy, his name's Ehud Leondro, and he got the best dick enlargement money could buy-

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:53

      (inhales through snorted mouth)

   4. RLRyan Long2:53

      ... because he's like a, you know, billionaire dude. Right? And then he died during the thing.

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:58

      (inhales through snorted mouth)

   6. RLRyan Long2:58

      Died during the enlargement.

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:59

      Oh, he probably died from the anesthesia, right?

   8. RLRyan Long3:02

      I wonder.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:02

      Yeah, man. Getting put under is no joke. Getting put under's... You know, it's... They're very, very, very, very good at it now, but it still carries some risks.

   10. RLRyan Long3:12

       Or, yeah, it was... And the, and the dick, they made him such a good dick, the doctor was like, "I can't let-"

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:18

       (laughs) He had it poisoned off in case his wife saw that dick.

   12. RLRyan Long3:20

       N- no one can... Yeah, this is... I can't...

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:22

       It is-

   14. RLRyan Long3:22

       Like, like a Frankenstein situation.

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:23

       ... my masterpiece.

   16. RLRyan Long3:25

       (laughs) I can't allow this.

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:27

       (laughs)

   18. RLRyan Long3:27

       Walking the Earth just punishing women.

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:30

       If there-

   20. RLRyan Long3:30

       But yeah, it's true.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:30

       ... that would be the number one industry in the country if there was an actual-

   22. RLRyan Long3:35

       Who nailed it.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:35

       ... dick enlargement product. Like, they just nailed it. It would be bigger than Apple.

   24. RLRyan Long3:39

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:40

       (laughs) In like a week.

   26. RLRyan Long3:42

       I mean, Viagra, it's like who d-... The amount of people that take that recreationally is i-... Very crazy, yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:48

       It's probably their most profitable thing other than vaccines, right? For Pfizer?

   28. RLRyan Long3:53

       That's a, that's a good question if-

   29. JRJoe Rogan3:54

       It's a good question.

   30. RLRyan Long3:55

       Well, imagine vaccines would be Viagra if the government was like, "You have to take it. Also, we're paying for it." (laughs)
5. 10:07 – 11:30

   Judo and Aikido

   1. JRJoe Rogan10:07

      scared. But when you watch him do judo, like 100%, that's real skill. Like, 100%. Like, he definitely knows his shit. Like, if I saw that guy teaching at a judo academy somewhere-

   2. RLRyan Long10:18

      Sure.

   3. JRJoe Rogan10:18

      ... who's a black belt and he was an instructor, I would say yes, legitimate.

   4. RLRyan Long10:22

      Nice.

   5. JRJoe Rogan10:23

      Yeah. L- Putin really knows judo.

   6. RLRyan Long10:25

      What about Seagal? What do you think of Seagal?

   7. JRJoe Rogan10:27

      He really, is really good at Aikido.

   8. RLRyan Long10:29

      He was the, he was the GOAT, right?

   9. JRJoe Rogan10:30

      Well, I don't... No.

   10. RLRyan Long10:31

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan10:32

       No, but he was very talented. Like, if you just watch his, uh, fluidity and his technique in Aikido, if you go back to the early days when he was running a dojo in Japan, and I think he was legitimately the first American to run an Aikido dojo in Japan. No bullshit.

   12. RLRyan Long10:50

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan10:50

       And, uh, he would... I think he was married to the daughter of one of the main senseis or somebody, so he was like deep in the culture, and r- he was really good at Aikido. But Aikido is a martial art that was developed to, to disarm people with swords. So, when someone's coming at you with a sword-

   14. RLRyan Long11:08

       Oh.

   15. JRJoe Rogan11:08

       ... and you don't have a sword, you're disarming them.

   16. RLRyan Long11:10

       Okay.

   17. JRJoe Rogan11:10

       The idea is to try to use their momentum against them.

   18. RLRyan Long11:14

       Yeah, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan11:14

       So, it's, it's kind of a reactive martial art, and it's like it's using your momentum and then using leverage and using technique. But it's not a... It's not like offensive, and what he did in the movies is he made it offensive, like if you go to like, uh-

   20. RLRyan Long11:28

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan11:28

       Above the Law. Above the Law is a f- fucking

6. 11:30 – 14:45

   Above the Law

   1. JRJoe Rogan11:30

      great movie.

   2. RLRyan Long11:30

      Oh, he turned it into a tool to get tons of pussy.

   3. JRJoe Rogan11:32

      This is Seagal... This is him when he's older, okay? This is like... This is, uh, Do-Rag Seagal.

   4. RLRyan Long11:37

      Do-Rag Seagal is not the best Seagal.

   5. JRJoe Rogan11:40

      (laughs) Do-Rag Seagal is not the best Seagal.

   6. RLRyan Long11:41

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan11:41

      You wanna go to black and white film Seagal, 'cause you gotta realize, like Above the Law-Go to, uh, old Steven Seagal footage. Above the Law-

   8. RLRyan Long11:51

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan11:51

      ... was in-

   10. RLRyan Long11:52

       Hell, yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan11:54

       Bro, I'm telling you. Ass... Listen-

   12. RLRyan Long11:56

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan11:56

       ... the guy... You, you can say whatever you want about the guy now-

   14. NANarrator11:59

       I'm just watching this here.

   15. JRJoe Rogan11:59

       ... but I am just telling you.

   16. RLRyan Long12:00

       I, I love him.

   17. JRJoe Rogan12:01

       Yeah, this is... Listen, fuck all this. Go to old Steven Seagal footage, 'cause this is a lot of like... He's... You know, he's basically in a movie now, right? Like he's-

   18. RLRyan Long12:11

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan12:11

       That's like... He's in a movie. Those guys aren't really resisting.

   20. RLRyan Long12:13

       And one that he's written as well.

   21. JRJoe Rogan12:14

       No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Uh, old Steven... I'm sorry. Old Steven Seagal Aikido footage. There's like legitimate footage of him in the dojo.

   22. RLRyan Long12:23

       Just doing work.

   23. JRJoe Rogan12:24

       Yeah. Like, when you see, like, his, uh, his ability to throw people. There you go.

   24. RLRyan Long12:30

       He had a big feud with Jean-Claude Van Damme.

   25. JRJoe Rogan12:32

       Well, go to that top one. The top one's legit. I've seen his top one. So-

   26. RLRyan Long12:36

       (clears throat)

   27. JRJoe Rogan12:37

       ... it's a lot of the movements and stuff, like-

   28. RLRyan Long12:39

       Whoo.

   29. JRJoe Rogan12:39

       ... very fluid, very fluid. It's just not that effective a martial art in, in real practice.

   30. RLRyan Long12:46

       Yeah.
7. 14:45 – 15:22

   JeanClaude Van Dam

   1. RLRyan Long14:45

      kinda like more how music is-

   2. JRJoe Rogan14:46

      Oh, yeah.

   3. RLRyan Long14:46

      ... where it's... I always say that even if you look at, um, you know, kinda activist stuff-

   4. JRJoe Rogan14:51

      Look at this. He's doing splits on the top of, like, a building.

   5. RLRyan Long14:53

      Oh, that's Jean-Claude. He's been doing... His split move is the move. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan14:57

      Bro. Bro, he's doing splits on the top of a fucking giant pillar, overlooking the city. I'd be scared to sit there.

   7. RLRyan Long15:04

      90% of Jean-Claude Van Damme was his splits. (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      First of all, he's a beautiful man.

   9. RLRyan Long15:09

      He's the best. (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:10

       He's a beautiful man. I mean, his body is flawless. So, he's over there, flawless body, doing splits.

   11. RLRyan Long15:18

       More than splits, too. They're-

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       Yeah.

   13. RLRyan Long15:20

       It's like-

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:21

       Look at him. He can do splits

8. 15:22 – 15:57

   Splits

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:22

      on-

   2. RLRyan Long15:22

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:23

      He can do splits on two chairs, where he puts one heel on each chair and he, like, suspends his body. That's nuts.

   4. RLRyan Long15:28

      Oh, my God.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:29

      That's, that's really hard to do, man. Remember the video-

   6. RLRyan Long15:33

      So much splits.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:33

      I think it was CGI. It had to be CGI, where they did it in between the two trucks.

   8. NANarrator15:37

      There's a picture of it.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:38

      That's CGI.

   10. RLRyan Long15:39

       (laughs)

   11. NANarrator15:40

       Both.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:41

       It has to be CGI.

   13. NANarrator15:41

       And just some of it, but yeah, they didn't-

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:43

       I think he really can do that with his legs still. He really can do a split.

   15. RLRyan Long15:47

       I don't think they were moving though, yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:48

       But they're n- They're not gonna do that in between trucks, then he goes under the truck!

   17. RLRyan Long15:51

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       And they lose Jean-Claude Van Damme-

   19. RLRyan Long15:53

       Sure.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       ... in a fucking horrific semi accident.

   21. RLRyan Long15:56

       Of the-

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       Where his

9. 15:57 – 18:07

   Van Damme

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:57

      body gets turned into meat.

   2. RLRyan Long15:58

      I think he's doing, uh... Didn't... He's doing some wild stuff right now. He's gotten-

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:02

      Is he?

   4. RLRyan Long16:03

      Oh, on the internet? Yeah. I think... Well, he had that, uh... He, he did like a web series, and then he had like some porn star girlfriend and he was posting pho- photos of him just, like, in a hot tub with the... Just, like, rocking out.

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:14

      Damn.

   6. RLRyan Long16:14

      Yeah, yeah. It was kinda cool. But I always... I was kinda even saying that the same way that it used to be more mystical with the action stars back then, like you were saying, the like... It kind of reminds me of why I feel like activist messages work better with musicians than like, you know, podcasters or comedians. 'Cause it's sort of like, with musicians, like the, you know, save the children. Whatever you wanna say.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:37

      Yeah. (laughs) Right, right.

   8. RLRyan Long16:37

      You know, very like, "We gotta feed those kids." And then... But you don't have to really answer anything more than that.

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:42

      Right.

   10. RLRyan Long16:43

       And then it's kind of like, with, with, uh-

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:45

       Or you could say something in between songs.

   12. RLRyan Long16:47

       Yeah, you could-

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:47

       You know?

   14. RLRyan Long16:47

       You get in one comment in.

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:49

       Yeah.

   16. RLRyan Long16:51

       But then after it becomes like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:52

       "By the way, fuck the Supreme Court." Yeah.

   18. RLRyan Long16:54

       Yeah. 100%. "Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo."

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:58

       "And Biden needs to codify Roe v. Wade." Yeah.

   20. RLRyan Long17:01

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughs) And if you think women should be in the kitchen, you can leave this concert right now.

   21. JRJoe Rogan17:05

       Right.

   22. RLRyan Long17:06

       But if you said that here, you'd be like, "Well, what do you mean by that?" And it's like, "Huh."

   23. JRJoe Rogan17:09

       Lecturing, lecturing dudes are sus.

   24. RLRyan Long17:11

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:12

       They're super sus. When dudes lecture other dudes, I'm like, "Damn, you're sus."

   26. RLRyan Long17:18

       I... That was-

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:19

       Those e- Just those, those are closet creeps, a lot of the time.

   28. RLRyan Long17:22

       That, that area where... When things got like real wild in 2016, the dudes that became the big lecturers-

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:28

       Ooh.

   30. RLRyan Long17:28

       ... were the weak... 'Cause the girls, you kind of like got it a little more.
10. 18:07 – 18:47

    Believe Everyone

    1. JRJoe Rogan18:08

       believe everyone. How th- how about that?

    2. RLRyan Long18:10

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan18:10

       I believe, believe all the people, all the time.

    4. RLRyan Long18:12

       Do you think that, uh-

    5. JRJoe Rogan18:13

       Believe everybody, no one's lying.

    6. RLRyan Long18:15

       Do you think that, uh, that right now, I think your average dude that was like that has sort of felt a little embarrassed?

    7. JRJoe Rogan18:22

       (laughs)

    8. RLRyan Long18:22

       The same way that your, the same way that your average dude that was all in on COVID, like, like-

    9. JRJoe Rogan18:27

       Yeah.

    10. RLRyan Long18:27

        ... day after. I remember when, when COVID happened, I was kind of filming stuff, and I had a few buddies that, like, messaged me being like, "Dude, that is kind of irresponsible that you're, like, filming," or whatever. And I l- the guys that I, that are, that were cool, and I was kind of like, "I think you're gonna be embarrassed that you sent me this."

    11. JRJoe Rogan18:40

        (laughs)

    12. RLRyan Long18:41

        And (laughs)

    13. JRJoe Rogan18:45

        (laughs)

11. 18:47 – 20:07

    Covid

    1. JRJoe Rogan18:47

       Years later, yup.

    2. RLRyan Long18:48

       Yeah, they were ... But I think that, you know, some dudes that were, like, all in on-

    3. JRJoe Rogan18:53

       Yeah.

    4. RLRyan Long18:53

       ... you know, yelling at you.

    5. JRJoe Rogan18:54

       Some people have a heightened level of anxiety, and it's not even their fault. It's like, where you are, maybe you're at a one or two, some people are at a fucking six all the time.

    6. RLRyan Long19:03

       Yes.

    7. JRJoe Rogan19:03

       And so something like COVID comes along and it just rattles them to, like, a nine. Whereas you stay at a six.

    8. RLRyan Long19:10

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan19:10

       You know? You're, like, where they would be normally, like, "Wow, this f- fucking world's fucked now." That would be them normally.

    10. RLRyan Long19:17

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan19:17

        And then COVID comes along and they go, "Wow!" Some people just thought the way we all felt about it in the beginning. Everybody in the beginning was scared. I remember those days. Everybody in the, in the beginning was like, "Whoa, this is weird."

    12. RLRyan Long19:31

        Yeah, no one wa- yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan19:32

        Right. But-

    14. RLRyan Long19:32

        At the very least, you're like-

    15. JRJoe Rogan19:33

        Everybody was worried, 'cause they shut the whole country down. Everybody-

    16. RLRyan Long19:37

        Of course.

    17. JRJoe Rogan19:37

        ... was worried. We're hearing the stories about needing-

    18. RLRyan Long19:39

        What's going on here?

    19. JRJoe Rogan19:39

        ... ventilators, they're r- running out of ventilators. We were all scared.

    20. RLRyan Long19:42

        Yeah, I was robbing people's houses.

    21. JRJoe Rogan19:45

        But-

    22. RLRyan Long19:45

        I-

    23. JRJoe Rogan19:45

        In 2023, there are ... I see people driving with masks on. I saw a guy drive with a mask on.

    24. RLRyan Long19:50

        Come on.

    25. JRJoe Rogan19:50

        That guy's not coming back.

    26. RLRyan Long19:51

        Driving?

    27. JRJoe Rogan19:52

        Driving with a mask on.

    28. RLRyan Long19:53

        The plane's full of them, and they've got the full, you know, the Bane mask, the whole deal.

    29. JRJoe Rogan19:57

        Some people are not coming back. They're not coming back.

    30. RLRyan Long20:00

        Yeah.
12. 20:07 – 22:37

    Solitary confinement

    1. JRJoe Rogan20:07

       went through broke them.

    2. RLRyan Long20:08

       Three years is enough to break someone, too.

    3. JRJoe Rogan20:10

       Yeah. Oh, fuck. Th- three years is enough to break a strong person.

    4. RLRyan Long20:13

       Yeah. Like, when you're-

    5. JRJoe Rogan20:14

       A strong person.

    6. RLRyan Long20:15

       Well, don't they ... Like, imagine you were going to jail and you go solitary confinement, and they put you in solitary confinement for three years. Like, how many ... Isn't there-

    7. JRJoe Rogan20:22

       Yeah.

    8. RLRyan Long20:22

       ... like, a pretty good percentage of people that lose their mind in that scenario?

    9. JRJoe Rogan20:25

       How do you do that to a person? Isn't that ... Isn't it wild? I mean, I had a bit about this at one point in time, where I was like, "Th- this is how much we need each other, that we'll take people that are murderers and rapists and thieves and swindlers, and the worst punishment you can give them is leaving them alone."

    10. RLRyan Long20:47

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan20:48

        Isn't that crazy? It ... Like, the worst punishment you can give to someone is just leave them alone.

    12. RLRyan Long20:53

        You can't talk to anyone.

    13. JRJoe Rogan20:56

        Imagine you can't ... You leave them alone with no books.

    14. RLRyan Long20:59

        Well, you know what's f- it's funny, 'cause the best reward you can give someone for about three hours is leave them alone. And it goes from-

    15. JRJoe Rogan21:07

        Yeah.

    16. RLRyan Long21:07

        You hear? You know what I mean?

    17. JRJoe Rogan21:08

        Isn't that wild?

    18. RLRyan Long21:08

        For certain people, you go ... The best thing, you know, some- someone that's just got too much going on, you got family, whatever it is, like, the best thing you could have is, like, you know, no one's bugging me for three hours.

    19. JRJoe Rogan21:17

        Yeah.

    20. RLRyan Long21:17

        And that slowly becomes the best thing to the worst nightmare that you can imagine.

    21. JRJoe Rogan21:21

        Yeah.

    22. RLRyan Long21:22

        Hell on Earth.

    23. JRJoe Rogan21:23

        Weird. We're so strange. So that's w-

    24. RLRyan Long21:27

        So that's why it did break people.

    25. JRJoe Rogan21:28

        That's why all that, like, people are like, "Well, I'm kind of a loner." Shut the fuck up.

    26. RLRyan Long21:32

        (laughs)

    27. JRJoe Rogan21:32

        Shut the fuck up. That is the ... That's a weird one. You kind of like being alone sometimes.

    28. RLRyan Long21:38

        Yeah.

    29. JRJoe Rogan21:38

        But no one wants to be alone. And if you do, be careful, 'cause then you're Ted Kaczynski. If you really want to be alone-

    30. RLRyan Long21:44

        Yeah.
13. 22:37 – 23:17

    How much we need each other

    1. JRJoe Rogan22:37

       We need each other so bad.

    2. RLRyan Long22:38

       Yeah, so I watched that ... That's ... I watched a lot of people get broken because of that stuff, especially in Canada-

    3. JRJoe Rogan22:44

       Mm-hmm.

    4. RLRyan Long22:44

       ... where it was, like, way crazier. You know what I mean? Like, my mom ... I always say my mom was, like, a, a good pulse of what just, like, a normal person is.

    5. JRJoe Rogan22:51

       Yeah.

    6. RLRyan Long22:51

       'Cause she'll, like ... I always say she, like, watches, like, Fox and CNN, but just thinks they're both just news. So she'll literally watch the news and be like, "The news can't make up their mind." (laughs) Because she's like, "Does-

    7. JRJoe Rogan23:03

       That's hilarious.

    8. RLRyan Long23:04

       You know what I mean? Like, she-

    9. JRJoe Rogan23:05

       Do you talk about this in your act?

    10. RLRyan Long23:06

        I've never said that on stage, no.

    11. JRJoe Rogan23:07

        Oh my God, you have to, dude.

    12. RLRyan Long23:08

        But I t- it, it, like, makes me laugh, 'cause she'll think ... She'll be like, "They can't decide whether they like the president, whether they hate ... Like, it's all ..." (laughs) You know what I mean?

14. 23:17 – 24:52

    Changing course

    1. JRJoe Rogan23:17

       100%, you should write that down.

    2. RLRyan Long23:19

       I sh- Yeah, that's-

    3. JRJoe Rogan23:19

       Yeah.

    4. RLRyan Long23:20

       Okay, so-

    5. JRJoe Rogan23:20

       There's, that's, like, fertile territory. You know, someone starts-

    6. RLRyan Long23:23

       Yeah, yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan23:23

       ... talking about something, and you, like, see a whole fertile field in front of them-

    8. RLRyan Long23:27

       (laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan23:27

       ... like, "Oh, you can do something with this."

    10. RLRyan Long23:27

        Yeah, yeah. I think it ... I've tr- Well, so, so she was kind of like, at first, be like, you know, "They need to lock it all down." And then there was a bit where she was, like, getting mad, being like, "It's been six months, I can't see my friends? This doesn't even make sense." You know? It's like ... And I was kinda like, "Just go see your friends. Who cares?" There was a point where they were, you know, when they were saying, like, you know, you can only have two people, and then they're like, "We upped it to three." And I'm like ... I mean, I don't know, make it zero. I'm not really paying attention to (laughs) what the rules are.

    11. JRJoe Rogan23:51

        It's easy to have, uh, hindsight and look back and think you would have done it differently.That's- that's part of the problem too, because i- i- i- you know, the we- if you're the government and you tell someone something, ch- changing course is so hard.

    12. RLRyan Long24:08

        It's a big ass boat to steer.

    13. JRJoe Rogan24:10

        It's a big boat to steer.

    14. RLRyan Long24:12

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan24:12

        You tell him everyone's gonna die, and then you go, "Actually, very few people that are unhealthy are gonna die, and the rest of them are gonna be fine." He'd be like, "What? Like, out of all the people I know?"

    16. RLRyan Long24:26

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan24:26

        Like, w- what, if you- if you- if- if you're the government and you start, like, taking in information as time goes on, you realize, "Oh, we're way off on this. Like, this is really just affects old people and overweight people."

    18. RLRyan Long24:36

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan24:37

        "Fuck. Um, but we don't want... I wanna fucking keep this party going. How do I..." You know?

    20. RLRyan Long24:44

        Yeah, and also, if I don't keep the party going, I'm like-

    21. JRJoe Rogan24:46

        Yeah.

    22. RLRyan Long24:46

        ... a r- I'm, like, the wrong, you know, I'm- I'm, like, supporting the other side.

    23. JRJoe Rogan24:49

        Now I'm a bad person.

    24. RLRyan Long24:50

        Yeah, I'm a bad guy now.

    25. JRJoe Rogan24:50

        Yeah. Now you're encouraging people

15. 24:52 – 26:27

    Lock it all down

    1. JRJoe Rogan24:52

       to get sick, you know? Like, you're- you're not... Like, if you've- if you've played to the people with the- the highest levels of anxiety, if you all of a sudden shift course and ask for courage, they'd be like, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

    2. RLRyan Long25:04

       Yeah, "What are you up to here?"

    3. JRJoe Rogan25:05

       Like, "W- why'd you change your idea? You were with us. We were like, 'Lock it all down.'"

    4. RLRyan Long25:11

       Of course.

    5. JRJoe Rogan25:11

       "There's a way to lock it all down, people. Lock it all down and triple mask up and no one moves."

    6. RLRyan Long25:15

       (laughs)

    7. JRJoe Rogan25:15

       "No more working. We need a redistribution of wealth."

    8. RLRyan Long25:18

       "Get in your closet." (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan25:19

       Yeah, you go, "What was that there?" Yeah. (laughs)

    10. RLRyan Long25:21

        That's so funny, though.

    11. JRJoe Rogan25:22

        "All right, we need to lock it down, and we need to take all your money." You go, "What was that last part?" You go ahead and, uh, also... (laughs)

    12. RLRyan Long25:27

        Yeah, yeah, and also less men in the, you know-

    13. JRJoe Rogan25:29

        Yeah.

    14. RLRyan Long25:29

        ... in tech, and you're like, "How- how does this one relate again?"

    15. JRJoe Rogan25:32

        (laughs)

    16. RLRyan Long25:32

        You go, "Ah, just shut up." They're just gathered.

    17. JRJoe Rogan25:34

        We distribute wealth through the vaccine.

    18. RLRyan Long25:35

        (laughs) Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan25:36

        A medical intervention became a sign of being a leftist.

    20. RLRyan Long25:40

        Well-

    21. JRJoe Rogan25:40

        It did. And- and avoiding a medical intervention became a sign of being a right-winger. It was really weird.

    22. RLRyan Long25:47

        That was the wildest.

    23. JRJoe Rogan25:47

        Really, really wild. Really wild. Like, if you just said, like, "Hey, I don't think I wanna take that," after what I've heard from people that took it, and- and people go, "What are you? A Trump supporter?" Like, instantly.

    24. RLRyan Long25:58

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan25:58

        Like, "Are you a right-winger?"

    26. RLRyan Long25:58

        And it wasn't re- and that wasn't really the breakdown either. It was, like, you know, kinda like a lot of old hippie types, like, a lot of my, like, urban friends-

    27. JRJoe Rogan26:05

        Yes.

    28. RLRyan Long26:05

        ... in Toronto, like, m- most, the most-

    29. JRJoe Rogan26:07

        Yeah.

    30. RLRyan Long26:07

        ... people that I know that wouldn't take it was, like, rapper dudes.
16. 26:27 – 31:07

    Vaccines

    1. JRJoe Rogan26:27

       because it takes a long time to figure out what the overall, long-term negative effects are of drugs. That's why it takes a long time to- for them to license them. I mean, it takes a lo- like, for a drug to be approved, like, generally, I mean, how many years does it take for a vaccine to normally be approved?

    2. RLRyan Long26:46

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan26:46

       And something that's, like, very novel, a d- novel type of vaccine, it's so unusual that it got approved so quick. And if- if it wasn't for COVID, it most likely wouldn't have, right? I mean, it was an emergency use authorization thing. For people to be nervous about something like that seems rational. It seems rational.

    4. RLRyan Long27:05

       Well, I know the other side of it, where I know a lot of, you know, kind of maybe more right-leaning dudes that were, like, super into the vaccine.

    5. JRJoe Rogan27:12

       Oh, yeah.

    6. RLRyan Long27:12

       And they were like, "If you're a Republican, you- you- you don't like the vaccine." And they were like, "Well, I'm a Republican, I- I like the vaccine," 'cause they're just older or whatever, more safe, or have a different, like, view on life.

    7. JRJoe Rogan27:22

       Yeah. There was this narrative that you were an idiot if you didn't wanna take it. Like, how do you guys know?

    8. RLRyan Long27:28

       I know both, yeah. I know both-

    9. JRJoe Rogan27:28

       How do you guys know?

    10. RLRyan Long27:29

        ... on both sides.

    11. JRJoe Rogan27:29

        Yeah, how do you guys know for sure what's happening here? How do you know for sure?

    12. RLRyan Long27:33

        Mm-hmm.

    13. JRJoe Rogan27:33

        Like, how much research are you doing? How much, uh, have you looked at the studies? Are- are you looking at, like, who it's affecting and what... That- that there's actually things you can do to kind of mitigate that? You can take vitamins and supplements, and they boost your immune system.

    14. RLRyan Long27:48

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan27:48

        And you probably should be exercising.

    16. RLRyan Long27:48

        Quit vaping might help.

    17. JRJoe Rogan27:50

        Quit vaping. Yeah.

    18. RLRyan Long27:51

        I didn't look at any of the studies and talked about it a lot. But, uh... (laughs)

    19. JRJoe Rogan27:55

        I- in the in- in the beginning, I think they were saying, for some weird reason, that people who smoked cigarettes had a lower-

    20. RLRyan Long28:01

        I remember that.

    21. JRJoe Rogan28:02

        ... level of infection. I was like-

    22. RLRyan Long28:03

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan28:03

        ... "Yeah, they're probably cooking the fucking- the COVID out of their system."

    24. RLRyan Long28:06

        Their body's like, "Hey, we got enough gunk in here. We don't have any ro- we don't have any room for any of this COVID stuff," Mr. Burns style.

    25. JRJoe Rogan28:12

        I wonder if you, like, if you're a chain smoker, like, you're filtering all that COVID through cigarette smoke. Like, I wonder if it actually kills the COVID that's in your lungs.

    26. RLRyan Long28:23

        I mean, we all know someone that, you know, is, like, in the worst shape, drinks, smokes nonstop, and does like... They're the first guy up-

    27. JRJoe Rogan28:30

        Yep.

    28. RLRyan Long28:30

        ... being like, "Let's go," and you're like-

    29. JRJoe Rogan28:31

        Yeah.

    30. RLRyan Long28:31

        ... "How are you not dead?"
17. 31:07 – 32:17

    Miller Lite

    1. JRJoe Rogan31:07

       don't buy it.

    2. NANarrator31:08

       I've seen there's, like, a commercial for, uh, Miller Lite or something. They're like, "We're only one more calorie than Mich Ultra." It's like, "Oh, really?"

    3. RLRyan Long31:14

       Really?

    4. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       Uh-

    5. NANarrator31:15

       That's crazy. (laughs)

    6. JRJoe Rogan31:16

       Uh...

    7. RLRyan Long31:16

       Yeah, I'm having trouble buying it, but-

    8. JRJoe Rogan31:18

       (laughs)

    9. RLRyan Long31:19

       Well, if- I- whatever. Either way, if you drink 12 of them, it's like, you know-

    10. JRJoe Rogan31:22

        Yeah.

    11. RLRyan Long31:22

        ... after the end of the night, you're just like, "Oh, let me just have three-"

    12. JRJoe Rogan31:24

        It's another thousand calories.

    13. RLRyan Long31:25

        "Let me have two Subway, uh, buns."

    14. JRJoe Rogan31:27

        So if you just-

    15. RLRyan Long31:28

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan31:28

        ... drink five Bud Tall Boys, which many gentlemen do-

    17. RLRyan Long31:31

        Sure.

    18. JRJoe Rogan31:31

        ... on a fine Saturday evening-

    19. RLRyan Long31:32

        Yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan31:33

        ... that's a thousand extra calories.

    21. RLRyan Long31:35

        Yeah. Every-

    22. JRJoe Rogan31:36

        (laughs)

    23. RLRyan Long31:36

        Every night. (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan31:37

        Just every day. (laughs) And if you hate your job, why not d- keep drinking, you know?

    25. RLRyan Long31:42

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you're right.

    26. JRJoe Rogan31:43

        Don't quit drinking if you hate your job.

    27. RLRyan Long31:44

        That being said-

    28. NANarrator31:45

        Yeah.

    29. RLRyan Long31:45

        ... I think the original hypothesis th- that, you know, it's better to just be on heroin- (laughs)

    30. JRJoe Rogan31:51

        Mm-hmm.
18. 32:17 – 33:02

    Jack Daniels

    1. JRJoe Rogan32:17

       roping it together.

    2. NANarrator32:18

       In 2018, he said he's only been off-

    3. RLRyan Long32:19

       He gives up drinking almost.

    4. NANarrator32:20

       ... for a year.

    5. RLRyan Long32:21

       Like, fed up with it.

    6. JRJoe Rogan32:21

       Oh, he said he hasn't been on the hard booze for about a year.

    7. NANarrator32:25

       So, he was drinking until he was, like, 75.

    8. JRJoe Rogan32:25

       The hard booze.

    9. RLRyan Long32:27

       That's crazy.

    10. JRJoe Rogan32:27

        I mean, that... Yeah, but he's, I guarantee he's still drinking.

    11. RLRyan Long32:30

        Okay.

    12. JRJoe Rogan32:30

        He just gave up on moonshine. (laughs)

    13. RLRyan Long32:33

        (laughs) Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan32:34

        He's probably just drinking wine or something. You said he gave up on the hard... It says, "The hard drinks." See- (laughs)

    15. NANarrator32:39

        Favorite drink is a Jack Daniels or vodka, occasional glass of wine still or beer.

    16. JRJoe Rogan32:43

        Yeah, so we'll have beers and wine. He just gave up on drinking Jack Daniels straight outta the bottle, like right there. (laughs)

    17. RLRyan Long32:51

        Taking it easy.

    18. JRJoe Rogan32:52

        And he lives till he's old. (laughs)

    19. RLRyan Long32:52

        He's so old. (laughs) He's gonna take it easy tonight, too.

    20. JRJoe Rogan32:55

        I saw them and it was almost like-

    21. RLRyan Long32:57

        Clumps of wine.

    22. JRJoe Rogan32:57

        ... a psychedelic experience.

    23. RLRyan Long32:59

        Really?

    24. JRJoe Rogan32:59

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, like, mesmerized

19. 33:02 – 33:52

    Mick Jagger

    1. JRJoe Rogan33:02

       when I saw. I couldn't believe they were really there. I was like, "Holy shit, that really is-"

    2. RLRyan Long33:08

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan33:08

       "... Mick Jagger. That really is Keith Richards." Like, "Wow!"

    4. RLRyan Long33:11

       Yeah, it is cool. Where'd you see them?

    5. JRJoe Rogan33:13

       They were here. They were in Austin, at the, um-

    6. RLRyan Long33:15

       Recently?

    7. JRJoe Rogan33:15

       Yeah, at the racetrack. Yeah, the COTA, um, the Circuit of the Americas.

    8. RLRyan Long33:20

       Cool.

    9. JRJoe Rogan33:20

       It's fucking crazy to watch them, that old, still jamming out.

    10. RLRyan Long33:27

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan33:27

        Still doing it.

    12. RLRyan Long33:28

        And it also-

    13. JRJoe Rogan33:29

        Mick Jagger's still dancing around.

    14. RLRyan Long33:30

        D- doing, like, the dancing like a girl on, like-

    15. JRJoe Rogan33:32

        Dude.

    16. RLRyan Long33:32

        ... 85 is strange, right? (laughs)

    17. JRJoe Rogan33:34

        It's weird.

    18. RLRyan Long33:35

        (laughs)

    19. JRJoe Rogan33:35

        But it's Mick Jagger. You let it go.

    20. RLRyan Long33:36

        Of course, it's cool.

    21. JRJoe Rogan33:37

        You know? Whatever it is. But that's him, dude.

    22. RLRyan Long33:39

        I actually saw them in Toronto. Uh, there's this thing called SARSStocks. Do you remember when SARS was coming around, the original COVID?

    23. JRJoe Rogan33:45

        Yes, I do.

    24. RLRyan Long33:46

        So they did a big festival. I think it w- I think there was, like, a problem where s- the stage broke and some people died or something. I think it was-

    25. JRJoe Rogan33:50

        Oh, no.

    26. RLRyan Long33:51

        Yeah, but, I, I'm...

20. 33:52 – 35:27

    Hells Angels

    1. RLRyan Long33:52

       I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think there was some big debacle there. But I saw them there.

    2. JRJoe Rogan33:56

       Wasn't there a time, like back in the day, where the Hells Angels killed a guy at one of their concerts?

    3. RLRyan Long34:02

       That's, that used to be the deal, is, like, you hire Hells Angels to be your bouncers.

    4. JRJoe Rogan34:06

       Was that what they did?

    5. RLRyan Long34:08

       (laughs) One of your-

    6. JRJoe Rogan34:08

       I thought it was, like, uh, just audience members. I thought, like, the-

    7. RLRyan Long34:11

       No.

    8. JRJoe Rogan34:11

       ... Hells Angels were in the audience. Is that... What happened with that?

    9. RLRyan Long34:14

       Well, I don't know if-

    10. JRJoe Rogan34:15

        See if you can find that story.

    11. RLRyan Long34:16

        ... this specific one, but that used to be, like, a big thing in music, is-

    12. JRJoe Rogan34:20

        Oh.

    13. RLRyan Long34:20

        ... "Let's hire, you know, Hells Angels guys." But I think-

    14. JRJoe Rogan34:23

        What a great idea.

    15. RLRyan Long34:24

        I think it's a great idea 'til you realize they've-

    16. JRJoe Rogan34:26

        (laughs)

    17. RLRyan Long34:26

        ... got, like a... Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, they've now, they've got, like, a... Also, they have a drug ring that they're running at your festival.

    18. JRJoe Rogan34:32

        American man who was killed in 1969 Altamont free concert. During the performance by The Rolling Stones, Hunter approached the stage and he was violently driven off by members of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club, who agreed to serve as security guards. Oh, so you're right.

    19. RLRyan Long34:49

        Security guards.

    20. JRJoe Rogan34:49

        That's what it was. That is it.

    21. RLRyan Long34:51

        You wanna... Can I tell you something?

    22. JRJoe Rogan34:52

        Wow, so the- the- the guy was rushing the stage and they beat him to death? Is that what happened? I thought he got stabbed.

    23. RLRyan Long34:58

        It was like the Chappelle thing, but they took it a little further.

    24. JRJoe Rogan35:00

        But I think... I f- I feel like someone got stabbed.

    25. NANarrator35:03

        Oh, it's on film.

    26. JRJoe Rogan35:05

        Oh, Jesus-

    27. RLRyan Long35:05

        Woo!

    28. JRJoe Rogan35:06

        ... Christ.

    29. RLRyan Long35:07

        (laughs)

    30. NANarrator35:07

        Uh, let me see. Will you show me how to use it?
21. 35:27 – 36:32

    Instagram

    1. JRJoe Rogan35:27

       feed. You're like, "How am I watching this? How, how is this, how is this okay?"

    2. NANarrator35:32

       Um, I can't (upbeat music) tell what's happening.

    3. Hey guys, I think I can help you out.

    4. RLRyan Long35:36

       Yeah, that is wild.

    5. JRJoe Rogan35:37

       And this is 1969, man.

    6. NANarrator35:41

       Stop baby, it's alright.

    7. JRJoe Rogan35:42

       I don't think you or I is really... You, I don't think we're ever gonna really understand how crazy 1969 was.

    8. RLRyan Long35:50

       No.

    9. JRJoe Rogan35:50

       I, I think we're too-

    10. RLRyan Long35:51

        And-

    11. JRJoe Rogan35:51

        We're t- we missed it. We, whatever the fuck-

    12. NANarrator35:53

        Hey Joe, cutie!

    13. RLRyan Long35:55

        ... people aren't big that, there's no, there's no, there's no people that are that big anymore, really.

    14. JRJoe Rogan36:00

        Well, there are, but it's a different thing, right? It's a different thing with the internet. The whole thing is different.

    15. RLRyan Long36:06

        Decentralized?

    16. JRJoe Rogan36:07

        But what I'm saying is, like, the change between the 1950s and 1969, only 19 years.

    17. RLRyan Long36:13

        In which way?

    18. JRJoe Rogan36:13

        In the way the culture was.

    19. RLRyan Long36:14

        Yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan36:15

        Like, think about just music. Think about Buddy Holly, like, fucking, you know, all that kind of, "Pegassoo."

    21. RLRyan Long36:20

        Yeah.

    22. JRJoe Rogan36:20

        Peg- (laughs) It's great music, but you go from that to Hendrix.

    23. RLRyan Long36:25

        Yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan36:26

        Like, what happened? What the fuck happened?

    25. RLRyan Long36:28

        I always think that there's-

    26. JRJoe Rogan36:29

        Like, the world changed.

    27. RLRyan Long36:31

        Yeah. And it's kind

22. 36:32 – 40:27

    Culture

    1. RLRyan Long36:32

       of, it kind of always, I always look at culture through music a little bit, but, like, it's always the things go so far, you know, one way and people get sick of it. Like, you know, the, even, like, punk and stuff, it always goes, like, very soft and then there's some guy kind of singing about his girlfriend and stuff like that. And the people get so sick of that shit, then the next guy's like, "I hate women!"

    2. JRJoe Rogan36:50

       Yeah. Well, there's, it's like every now and then, the culture needs, like, a jolt of something different. Like, that, that, that's what Nirvana was.

    3. RLRyan Long36:58

       You get sick of it, you just get sick of it.

    4. JRJoe Rogan36:58

       There was all hair bands and then Nirvana came along. And Nirvana-

    5. RLRyan Long37:02

       Yeah, the grunge scene.

    6. JRJoe Rogan37:02

       ... essentially killed the hair band.

    7. RLRyan Long37:05

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan37:05

       Everybody wanted to be moody. Like, I don't want, I'm tired of partying, man. I just wanna be moody. I wanna be, like, deep and serious.

    9. RLRyan Long37:10

       Yeah. And also, the, the next generation's like... See, that, it also gets corporate too, right? So, you know, the thing becomes, it's so hip and it's so cool.

    10. JRJoe Rogan37:18

        It's a genre.

    11. RLRyan Long37:18

        The genre becomes-

    12. JRJoe Rogan37:19

        Right.

    13. RLRyan Long37:19

        ... corporate, right? And then there's some new scene that isn't... Like, that's why I always feel like all art, it's so cool to me, that that's why Austin to me is this, because all art always happens in these little pockets, right? Like the grunge was at the Seattle, you know, the-

    14. JRJoe Rogan37:32

        Yeah.

    15. RLRyan Long37:32

        You guys have your Austin thing where it's like, I'm even just, like, kind of hanging with you guys at, uh, the Vulcan. It was like, you know, there's five or six of you and you're not, there's no one telling you what to do and just, like, really just this, like, movement. I remember, like, Toronto, I felt like I had that, where it was just, there's no one telling you what to do.

    16. JRJoe Rogan37:46

        Yeah.

    17. RLRyan Long37:46

        It's eight people that are all kind of p- uh, inventing a new little style and pushing each other. And that's how culture always kind of forms the best. And then that becomes... Someone from that culture gets so popular. And then after eight years, everyone gets a little sick of that.

    18. JRJoe Rogan38:00

        Yeah. They'll get sick of everything, no matter what. But this, this idea that, that shouldn't be the case, that you shouldn't-

    19. RLRyan Long38:08

        It's cool.

    20. JRJoe Rogan38:08

        Yeah, it's good, good that things shift around.

    21. RLRyan Long38:10

        Yeah, it's cool.

    22. JRJoe Rogan38:11

        When something is as, like, as good as Nirvana, like, you know, all that hair band stuff, there was, like, a weird moment where I think people lost their fucking minds, where it was all, like, guys had just giant big hair and wearing makeup and da-

    23. RLRyan Long38:24

        Yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan38:24

        It was real glammy, very strange, very strange.

    25. RLRyan Long38:27

        Yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan38:28

        And then Nirvana came along and just fucking tanked it, tanked the whole thing.

    27. RLRyan Long38:31

        Yeah, they were just like, "Enough, enough of this whole thing." Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan38:34

        He liter- He really did.

    29. RLRyan Long38:35

        I'm gonna be wearing, I'm gonna be wearing, like, a, a crappy sweater and-

    30. JRJoe Rogan38:38

        Yeah.
23. 40:27 – 41:07

    Rob Halford

    1. JRJoe Rogan40:27

       did. It was Rob Halford from Judas Priest, was so fucking good.

    2. RLRyan Long40:31

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan40:31

       Judas Priest was so good that they got people to dress up, like, like a biker.

    4. RLRyan Long40:39

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan40:39

       Like, everybody decided to dress up like a biker.

    6. RLRyan Long40:42

       They got everyone on board with that.

    7. JRJoe Rogan40:42

       That was, like, the thing. They, they kind of got-

    8. RLRyan Long40:44

       Like a gay biker.

    9. JRJoe Rogan40:46

       How many people... Yeah, when you find out that Rob was gay-

    10. RLRyan Long40:49

        They tricked everyone.

    11. JRJoe Rogan40:49

        You're like, "Do you know how amazing that is?"

    12. RLRyan Long40:51

        Do you think that there was any guy at the club when they found out he was gay that was like...

    13. JRJoe Rogan40:54

        (laughs)

    14. RLRyan Long40:54

        "What the?"

    15. JRJoe Rogan40:55

        Oh my God.

    16. RLRyan Long40:55

        Rip- ripping off his leather.

    17. JRJoe Rogan40:57

        Do you know how many guys must've tweaked out...

    18. RLRyan Long40:59

        What the...

    19. JRJoe Rogan41:00

        ... when they found out he was gay?

    20. RLRyan Long41:01

        He's got the gimp mask on with the zip.

    21. NANarrator41:03

        You got another thing coming.

    22. RLRyan Long41:04

        (laughs)

    23. JRJoe Rogan41:05

        You're tell- you're telling me this guy's

24. 41:07 – 43:07

    High School

    1. JRJoe Rogan41:07

       gay? Ripping off his bondage outfit. (laughs) Dude, I had a friend of mine in high school who used to listen to Rob Halford, like, "You got another thing coming." That was like his mantra.

    2. RLRyan Long41:16

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan41:16

       Like, for him-

    4. RLRyan Long41:17

       He loved it.

    5. JRJoe Rogan41:17

       ... getting out of the town. He was that dude who was, like, kind of, like, socially troubled and he'd, like, get out of the town. He was gonna make his way. "You got another thing-" That was his... And I remember going, "Damn, that is a fresh song." (laughs) That song was amazing.

    6. RLRyan Long41:31

       So he, he would listen to that song-

    7. JRJoe Rogan41:32

       Yeah.

    8. RLRyan Long41:32

       ... to get hyped up about leaving town? Did he leave?

    9. JRJoe Rogan41:35

       Yeah, I don't know.

    10. RLRyan Long41:35

        Did he ever get out?

    11. JRJoe Rogan41:36

        I lost touch with him. Didn't know what happened.

    12. RLRyan Long41:37

        If you ever go back and he's, like, working at The Tackle Shop.

    13. JRJoe Rogan41:40

        I'm only in touch with a couple of my friends from h- the high school. Um, m- two of my best friends that I'm still friends with, uh-

    14. RLRyan Long41:47

        That's all you need.

    15. JRJoe Rogan41:48

        ... back then. Uh, my, my two friend Jimmys. Those were the guys I went to high school-

    16. RLRyan Long41:52

        The Jimmys?

    17. JRJoe Rogan41:53

        With the Jimmys, yeah. But they went to North. I went to high school in Newton South. So we were like in the same-

    18. RLRyan Long41:59

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan41:59

        ... town, but we didn't go to the same school. So I'm only friends with one dude who was from my art class, who was, like, the best, the, the best, uh-... um, artist in the art class. This guy, John Devore. And he and I, we'd, we'd communicate on, uh, email sometimes. But he was like a, the guy when, when we were kids, it was like this, uh, amazing comic book illustrator.

    20. RLRyan Long42:18

        How's he doing now? Is he a comic book illustrator?

    21. JRJoe Rogan42:19

        He's got ... No. He, he, he runs a speaker company.

    22. RLRyan Long42:22

        (clears throat) Interesting world.

    23. JRJoe Rogan42:23

        He actually stopped doing art for the same reason that I did, because the, the teacher that we had in high school was such a douchebag, he made you not want to do art.

    24. RLRyan Long42:31

        Interesting.

    25. JRJoe Rogan42:32

        He w-

    26. RLRyan Long42:32

        What did he do?

    27. JRJoe Rogan42:33

        He was just a miserable ...

    28. RLRyan Long42:35

        He was like, "You can try-"

    29. JRJoe Rogan42:36

        And so this-

    30. RLRyan Long42:36

        "... this, but it's a waste of time."
25. 43:07 – 44:07

    Art Teacher

    1. JRJoe Rogan43:07

       was such a twat. He was like this mis-

    2. RLRyan Long43:08

       Ruined it for you.

    3. JRJoe Rogan43:09

       ... miserable older guy with a po- I remember his potbelly, like he was pregnant.

    4. RLRyan Long43:14

       (laughs)

    5. JRJoe Rogan43:14

       But he was a tiny man. It was like ... He was very thin, but with a potbelly.

    6. RLRyan Long43:18

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan43:18

       And he was just saying, "You're not going to be able to do what you want to do with your life." "You're," (sniffs) "You're ... If you're, if you're gonna be an artist, you're gonna have to draw things you don't want to draw. There's no way you can-"

    8. RLRyan Long43:29

       Like me-

    9. JRJoe Rogan43:29

       Yeah.

    10. RLRyan Long43:30

        ... nude after class if you want an A. (laughs)

    11. JRJoe Rogan43:35

        (laughs)

    12. RLRyan Long43:36

        Not everyone gets what they want.

    13. JRJoe Rogan43:38

        Bro, he wouldn't ... He doesn't want to fuck anybody.

    14. RLRyan Long43:40

        (laughs)

    15. JRJoe Rogan43:40

        He didn't wanna fuck anybody.

    16. RLRyan Long43:41

        Yeah, yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan43:41

        He just wanted to go to sleep. That guy was just-

    18. RLRyan Long43:43

        Just hated his life.

    19. JRJoe Rogan43:44

        He was miserable. And he was just really bad to be around because, uh, he ... You know, you were young and full of energy and you just wanted to, like, do something with your life, and this was a thing-

    20. RLRyan Long43:54

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan43:54

        ... that you were doing that you were kind of getting good at.

    22. RLRyan Long43:56

        Of course.

    23. JRJoe Rogan43:57

        And you're like, "Maybe I could be an artist. I love comic books. Maybe I could draw comic books."

    24. RLRyan Long44:00

        (laughs) You know, the art, the art teacher says no.

    25. JRJoe Rogan44:02

        This guy was such a cunt. He was such a cunt. You're like, "Oh my God, I gotta get away from you." So

26. 44:07 – 45:27

    Support

    1. JRJoe Rogan44:07

       negative.

    2. RLRyan Long44:08

       It's kind of a weird thing with art 'cause, you know, you, you ... It is true when someone says, "Hey, you know, this isn't a good idea."

    3. JRJoe Rogan44:15

       Yeah.

    4. RLRyan Long44:16

       Like, they're right statistically, so there is something to be said about, like, I always ... I feel like you actually need most people being like, "Listen, this is probably a bad idea to try to be a comedian." Like-

    5. JRJoe Rogan44:26

       Yes.

    6. RLRyan Long44:27

       ... that, that is the actual responsible. So when parents, they're like, "That's ... Okay, that's not a good idea," they're right. But you only need one person that's like, "You can, though."

    7. JRJoe Rogan44:35

       Yeah.

    8. RLRyan Long44:35

       Like, you need, you need one guy in your corner. You can't have every person says no, 'cause then it's too ... You know, you're too afraid. But I think that, uh, a lot of times, there's this weird, like ... Uh, sometimes people say you need too much support. Like-

    9. JRJoe Rogan44:50

       (sighs)

    10. RLRyan Long44:50

        You know what I mean? Like, if everyone's like, "You could do this," like-

    11. JRJoe Rogan44:53

        That's too much.

    12. RLRyan Long44:53

        ... 'cause the people that are gonna make it, you, uh, are gonna break through a level of adversity usually, you know? The people who are gonna make it work, they don't care that people are saying no. But ev- if everyone's saying no, I feel like that's what, like, ruins some people that could've been great. Does that make sense or is that silly?

    13. JRJoe Rogan45:09

        If everyone's saying no, so would their family say no?

    14. RLRyan Long45:11

        Yeah. Like, imagine your, imagine your dad's like, "Listen, go to school. This probably isn't a good idea." Your mom's saying that, maybe your teacher's saying that. But then you had one teacher that's like, "No, you got something here." Like, give-

    15. JRJoe Rogan45:20

        Yeah.

    16. RLRyan Long45:20

        ... one encouraging person for a guy. Like, I think a lot of young dudes don't have, like, one encouraging person.

    17. JRJoe Rogan45:26

        That's

27. 45:27 – 48:07

    Comedy

    1. JRJoe Rogan45:27

       interesting. Yeah. Well, I think also, whatever the fuck you're trying to do, whether you're trying to do standup comedy or anything else, it's gonna be a long-ass road and you can't hope you get successful really quickly.

    2. RLRyan Long45:41

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       And the problem with comedy as opposed to everything else is that people think they have, like, a giant headstart. Like, people who ... A lot of people who have the courage to do it are a little delusional, uh, about, "Well-"

    4. RLRyan Long45:54

       And you need a little bit of that.

    5. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       Yeah. You need a little bit of that. But those people, like, w- when y- when y- ... (sighs) It's a fine line.

    6. RLRyan Long46:01

       That's what I mean, yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan46:02

       'Cause we really don't know until it works. Like, so many-

    8. RLRyan Long46:05

       (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan46:05

       ... different people succeed in standup comedy that you wouldn't have thought would have if you didn't know any better, or if you didn't, if you didn't see them in, like, the first year of their career when they sucked.

    10. RLRyan Long46:17

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan46:17

        If you only saw them, like, seven, eight years later, you had probably never imagined how bad they sucked eight years ago.

    12. RLRyan Long46:24

        (laughs) Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan46:24

        You know? There's certain guys-

    14. RLRyan Long46:25

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan46:25

        ... like that.

    16. RLRyan Long46:25

        Yeah, yeah. Or how, like, you know, much of a dick they were or something, you know?

    17. JRJoe Rogan46:29

        But it's all about constant improvement and constantly working at it. And some people just don't do that, man.

    18. RLRyan Long46:36

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan46:36

        The thing about comedy is nobody tells you to do it. Like, if you're a comic, you can kinda fuck off.

    20. RLRyan Long46:41

        You can ... Especially, you know, if you've cer- ... Like, there is ... The, uh ... If you're, like, in New York and you kinda making a living, maybe have a pod- 'Cause you can really just, like, do the bare minimum.

    21. JRJoe Rogan46:49

        Yeah.

    22. RLRyan Long46:50

        But-

    23. JRJoe Rogan46:50

        You can just do a few sets here and there and do the same 15 minutes and-

    24. RLRyan Long46:53

        But whenever you see those people, like I always kind of s- ... You know, like a little bit binary with people. I'm always like, "Would you bet on that guy?" Like, when you see someone two, three years in. I don't say-

    25. JRJoe Rogan47:01

        Right, "Would you bet on them?"

    26. RLRyan Long47:02

        "I never ..." That's what I say.

    27. JRJoe Rogan47:03

        Yeah.

    28. RLRyan Long47:03

        I go ... I don't say, like, "Are they ... How ... What did ... What should they do better? What should they do worse?" Like, you know, "What, what moves should they make? Should this guy be this? Should he be that?" I just go, "Would you bet on that guy? And if yes, he'll figure the rest out."

    29. JRJoe Rogan47:14

        Yeah.

    30. RLRyan Long47:15

        That's what I usually think.
28. 48:07 – 51:07

    Personality

    1. JRJoe Rogan48:07

       so much time. He's like everything just tightened up and, you know ...

    2. RLRyan Long48:11

       Especially when you're doing a ... There's different, different personalities are easier to do when you're starting. You know, like, let's say you're, like, a big, fun, fat guy. Like-

    3. JRJoe Rogan48:18

       Yeah.

    4. RLRyan Long48:18

       ... that personality ...... you know, six months in can kinda connect, you know?

    5. JRJoe Rogan48:23

       Right.

    6. RLRyan Long48:23

       But if you're being, like, an asshole, like, there's-

    7. JRJoe Rogan48:26

       (laughs)

    8. RLRyan Long48:26

       There's so many people where you're like, "Yo, yo, that's really funny, but not enough funny for how much you're being an asshole." (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan48:32

       (laughs) Right. You're not likable at all.

    10. RLRyan Long48:34

        I'm that.

    11. JRJoe Rogan48:34

        Yeah.

    12. RLRyan Long48:35

        Like, it took me forever to figure out that right, like, balance of, like-

    13. JRJoe Rogan48:37

        (laughs)

    14. RLRyan Long48:37

        ... telling the audience I'm better than them, but also, like-

    15. JRJoe Rogan48:40

        Yeah.

    16. RLRyan Long48:40

        I don't know. It takes, yeah, there's-

    17. JRJoe Rogan48:41

        There's also a defensive thing too, right? 'Cause, like, if you think you're gonna bomb, you put... A little bit of you is like, "Fuck these people."

    18. RLRyan Long48:46

        (laughs)

    19. JRJoe Rogan48:46

        You know? 'Cause, like, you don't wanna admit that you're not doing it right yet.

    20. RLRyan Long48:51

        (laughs) Yeah, yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan48:51

        You'll... You wanna believe that it's them.

    22. RLRyan Long48:53

        Yeah, yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan48:53

        "Can't be tapping me."

    24. RLRyan Long48:54

        The audience has no data whatsoever. (laughs)

    25. JRJoe Rogan48:59

        (laughs)

    26. RLRyan Long48:59

        Do you know what? You know what? I... That's what I was kinda thinking of, what I k- kind of, uh, feel like the audience sometimes, 'cause there is comics that almost treat it like a job, especially in cities. I'm sure in LA you saw a lot of this. Boston, you probably saw a ton of this. The guys that-

    27. JRJoe Rogan49:11

        Mm-hmm.

    28. RLRyan Long49:11

        It's very, like, a job for them where they go, "Hey, you know. Oh, yeah. The, the 10 o'clock's pretty good. The 11 o'clock, you know, a little bit of a loud table at the back. The sex stuff doesn't go. You probably wanna keep it to the r- relationship material for the table." And like, it's very, you know, like, "We want the audience to have a good time." That's the job, right?

    29. JRJoe Rogan49:27

        Right, right.

    30. RLRyan Long49:27

        And I was kind of thinking like, it's almost... Do you know the game keep up? Like, uh-
29. 51:07 – 54:07

    Hot Takes

    1. JRJoe Rogan51:07

       in in this weird hive mind. And when something goes wrong or something happens or some crazy person, there's something about it, as long as you can keep it in line, there's something about it that's kind of exciting because it's like, "Yeah, this is live."

    2. RLRyan Long51:21

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan51:21

       Like, "This is live." This is, like, this is how it really is.

    4. RLRyan Long51:24

       I know.

    5. JRJoe Rogan51:25

       This isn't just a planned out performance. Like, shit can go sideways. It's fun. Like, people like watching people do a little highwire walk, you know. Like, there's, there's something about that.

    6. RLRyan Long51:37

       Love it.

    7. JRJoe Rogan51:37

       They enjoy it. So when shit goes sideways during a show.

    8. RLRyan Long51:41

       No, and it's... And there's the... There's such, like, the subtle differences that you kind of, like, hone over the year of, like... I'm sure you've done a bit that, you know, you kinda started saying at the beginning of, you know, working on it, and people in the audience were like, "Yo, s- finally someone says that," you know? And then you find, like, nine months later, you're doing that bit and people in the audience are kinda like, "Yeah." (laughs) And you're like, "Was this a hot take nine months ago and now everyone agrees with that?"

    9. JRJoe Rogan52:06

       Hot takes are way-

    10. RLRyan Long52:08

        (clears throat)

    11. JRJoe Rogan52:08

        ... more transient today, don't you think?

    12. RLRyan Long52:10

        Yes. And I mean, I don't even mean like a cultural hot take.

    13. JRJoe Rogan52:12

        Right.

    14. RLRyan Long52:12

        I mean like a, you know, this whole idea is that... It could even be like a idea, you know, uh, discussion or whatever. But yeah, yeah, of course hot takes. You'll... You get four months out of them maybe, yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan52:24

        It used to be a hot take could last a long time. Narratives were established-

    16. RLRyan Long52:28

        They move so quick.

    17. JRJoe Rogan52:29

        ... and they lasted a long time. Yeah. But look how quick the pregnant man became an emoji.

    18. RLRyan Long52:34

        (laughs) Of course.

    19. JRJoe Rogan52:35

        It was really quick.

    20. RLRyan Long52:36

        (laughs)

    21. JRJoe Rogan52:36

        And someone does it perfect, right?

    22. RLRyan Long52:38

        (laughs)

    23. JRJoe Rogan52:40

        (laughs)

    24. RLRyan Long52:40

        That's what... Know what they need is the, the titties teacher needs to get, like, a fake pregnant belly-

    25. JRJoe Rogan52:45

        Yes.

    26. RLRyan Long52:45

        ... and come in and be like, "I'm pregnant now."

    27. JRJoe Rogan52:46

        Yes. I need pregnancy time.

    28. RLRyan Long52:48

        Yeah. Pregnant man is great.

    29. JRJoe Rogan52:49

        And e- and everybody was like, "Okay. You get it. You get your pregnancy time." (laughs)

    30. RLRyan Long52:55

        (laughs)
30. 54:07 – 1:04:26

    Ukraine

    1. JRJoe Rogan54:07

       this weird culture war. It's a... Accelerated all this gender pronoun stuff and so much trans stuff. And it's like there's a, there's a-... is, like, an ideological storm that's going on, it seems like.

    2. RLRyan Long54:22

       To me, it felt like it was-

    3. JRJoe Rogan54:24

       It's, like, anxiety and then Ukraine. Like, this idea-

    4. RLRyan Long54:26

       All of it.

    5. JRJoe Rogan54:27

       ... that we have to support Ukraine. Like, how much information do you have about this?

    6. RLRyan Long54:33

       Yeah, yeah, (laughs) yeah, yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan54:33

       To say that you, like, "We should be supporting the potential start of World War III." Like, how much information do you have? Do you know about the p-

    8. RLRyan Long54:39

       Well, I know that I'm a good guy if I do it. That's all, really, I need.

    9. JRJoe Rogan54:42

       Exactly. Do you know about the potential outcomes if this progresses, do you think?

    10. RLRyan Long54:47

        Yawn. (laughs)

    11. JRJoe Rogan54:47

        Yeah.

    12. RLRyan Long54:48

        Boring.

    13. JRJoe Rogan54:49

        Not interested, I'm just gonna-

    14. RLRyan Long54:50

        Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan54:50

        ... put a Ukraine flag in my bio.

    16. RLRyan Long54:52

        (laughs)

    17. JRJoe Rogan54:52

        You could put a Ukraine flag in your bio with zero understanding of what's going on.

    18. RLRyan Long54:58

        Sure. I did a video about that, but then I failed.

    19. JRJoe Rogan55:00

        Did you?

    20. RLRyan Long55:00

        Yeah, I did a I'm A Ukraine Guy video.

    21. JRJoe Rogan55:02

        Your f- fucking videos are very funny, dude.

    22. RLRyan Long55:04

        Oh, thanks, man.

    23. JRJoe Rogan55:04

        I really enjoy them.

    24. RLRyan Long55:05

        I appreciate that.

    25. JRJoe Rogan55:06

        I enjoy that you take so many chances and you just fuck around all the time and you're always doing new subjects. It's really fun.

    26. RLRyan Long55:11

        That's, yeah, that's all I've been, since I was, like, you know, uh, young, I just, like, wanted to make videos. (laughs) That's all I-

    27. JRJoe Rogan55:16

        Yeah, your videos are great. They're really fun.

    28. RLRyan Long55:18

        But that's, you know how you were saying, like, everything got wild? It's kinda crazy, like, and just 'cause the industry did change so much, but, like, the way that things are decentralized and the players... You know, like, you, someone like you or, you know, like Louis and Burr retweeting videos, like, to me, that's, like, moving America, like, that's way cooler than anything that could be happening at Comedy Central or whatever. Like, to me, that's... So the way that the game's, like, changed and that's so much more important, like, I have a manager that legitimately I don't talk to. You know-

    29. JRJoe Rogan55:47

        (laughs)

    30. RLRyan Long55:48

        (laughs) Every once in a while, he'll call me and be like, "Hey, do you want," like, "Hey, you should, like, write a movie about this and try to pitch it." And I'll be like, "Yeah, yeah, I'll get on that." (laughs) And then, you know, sort of, like, get off the phone and he'll be like... They'll s- they'll say me things like, "Do you wanna audition for this?" And I'll be like, "No." And then I'll be like, "Oh, tell people I'm offer only." And he goes, "Okay. Well, anyways, no offers, so." (laughs) That's, I guess that, that. And you're just like, what is this even? Like, this is the podcasting, touring, like, making videos, like, I'm running, like, a production studio. I got six employees. Like, this is so much better than, in my opinion, what it was before. So everything has, like, a positive and negative.

Episode duration: 3:24:42