Joe Rogan Experience #1946 - Protect Our Parks 7

Narrator 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

Ari Shaffir 0:12 You doing heroin?

Shane Gillis 0:13 Yeah.

Mark Normand 0:13 Yes. Yes, we're up.

Ari Shaffir 0:16 It's... And, hey-

Mark Normand 0:17 I'm the only one without sunglasses, what the fuck?

Ari Shaffir 0:19 It's just easy to hide behind something.

Mark Normand 0:20 I'm here alone.

Ari Shaffir 0:21 It's like a poker game.

Mark Normand 0:21 No sunglasses. (yawns)

Shane Gillis 0:23 You gotta get 'em, bro.

Mark Normand 0:24 They're in my car. I'm not going.

Ari Shaffir 0:25 Have a second pair. If you want some- Call one of your goons.

Mark Normand 0:27 I just feel the f- the, the place up here with clouds. I can't see.

Shane Gillis 0:29 All right, give him yours. Yours are cool.

Ari Shaffir 0:30 Mine are cool.

Mark Normand 0:31 They are nice? They look like Bosworth glasses.

Shane Gillis 0:34 Joe would look cool in those too if he tried them on.

Ari Shaffir 0:34 Joe, try those on. You'd look nice.

Mark Normand 0:35 Nice.

Shane Gillis 0:35 Hit vipers, dude.

Mark Normand 0:36 Like I live in Florida.

Ari Shaffir 0:37 Ours in Key West.

Shane Gillis 0:39 Oh, yeah, with that bald head? You'd fucking bring someone to justice with that.

Mark Normand 0:42 Fuck yeah, bro!

Ari Shaffir 0:43 Whoa. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 0:43 (laughs)

Mark Normand 0:43 Fuck yeah, bro!

Shane Gillis 0:43 Yeah, you look like a bounty hunter.

Mark Normand 0:44 Yeah, bro.

Ari Shaffir 0:45 Like a video game boss.

Shane Gillis 0:46 You could be a boss.

Mark Normand 0:48 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 0:48 (laughs)

Mark Normand 0:50 Fun times last night, boys.

Shane Gillis 0:51 Oh, yeah. Good show. (chair creaks)

Ari Shaffir 0:53 We stayed too late.

Mark Normand 0:54 What are you doing? What are you doing?

Shane Gillis 0:54 Oh, you promised how you'd do this.

Mark Normand 0:54 Yeah, it was a l- it was a little late. I got home. I've been, uh, requiring myself to write for at least one hour when I get home. (cocks gun)

Ari Shaffir 1:00 Finally, writing.

Mark Normand 1:01 So can't get to bed till 4:00 in the morning.

Ari Shaffir 1:03 Holy hell.

Shane Gillis 1:03 So you got home and w- wrote?

Mark Normand 1:05 Wrote.

Shane Gillis 1:06 That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:07 Damn.

Mark Normand 1:09 It's when you write your best.

Shane Gillis 1:10 I do it at night sometimes at bars.

Mark Normand 1:12 Sometimes when I'm, uh-

Ari Shaffir 1:13 What?

Mark Normand 1:13 ... when I just get off stage.

Shane Gillis 1:15 When I'm on my way home.

Jamie Vernon 1:15 Only time.

Shane Gillis 1:15 Yeah.

Mark Normand 1:16 You just get off stage, your juices are still flowing. (coughs)

Ari Shaffir 1:18 Sure.

Mark Normand 1:19 You can... Sometimes you're, you, it's like every now and then you get the one gem out of ten. (coughs) Just one little idea, one little spark.

Ari Shaffir 1:27 Oh, yeah.

Mark Normand 1:28 Come on, pussies. Get in there.

Shane Gillis 1:29 It's not shady.

Ari Shaffir 1:29 Well, we got like seven different drugs going around.

Mark Normand 1:31 Whatever, allegedly.

Ari Shaffir 1:33 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 1:34 (laughs)

Mark Normand 1:34 (laughs) Don't be scared of the future.

Ari Shaffir 1:37 What about a cig-, a cigar?

Mark Normand 1:39 You want a cigar?

Shane Gillis 1:39 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:40 Please.

Shane Gillis 1:41 I'm all right.

Ari Shaffir 1:42 All right. No shame.

Mark Normand 1:44 Are you in on this?

Shane Gillis 1:44 No, no shame in that. Yep.

Ari Shaffir 1:46 Hey, hey. Don't fat shame.

Shane Gillis 1:48 I'll take one. What's up, man? There's a, there's a tour.

Mark Normand 1:50 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 1:50 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 1:50 No shame in that. It's just like you canceling gigs.

Mark Normand 1:53 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 1:53 What?

Mark Normand 1:53 What the fuck are you talking about?

Shane Gillis 1:54 The No Shame In That Tour.

Ari Shaffir 1:56 Oh, yeah. He loves titles.

Shane Gillis 1:58 I don't like them.

Mark Normand 1:59 Here you go, sir.

Ari Shaffir 2:00 Oh, grazie, Fatty.

Shane Gillis 2:01 How do you come up with a name? Names are tough.

Ari Shaffir 2:04 Yep. What about when you have a kid? You gotta name that thing forever.

Shane Gillis 2:07 I saw Buffett, it was his Second Wind Tour. A lot of old people.

Mark Normand 2:11 Jimmy Buffett?

Shane Gillis 2:11 Second Wind Tour is a great name.

Ari Shaffir 2:12 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 2:13 Second Wind Tour, for that, it is.

Ari Shaffir 2:14 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 2:14 It made me realize names of tours are cool.

Mark Normand 2:16 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 2:16 He's underrated.

Shane Gillis 2:18 I go the opposite way.

Mark Normand 2:19 Damn. You think he's over it?

Shane Gillis 2:20 About three songs I knew.

Ari Shaffir 2:21 He's a-

Shane Gillis 2:21 << I like mine with lettuce and tomato. >>

Mark Normand 2:24 Tomato.

Shane Gillis 2:24 That's great.

Mark Normand 2:24 Yeah, that's one of them.

Shane Gillis 2:26 That's all you need, dude. That's what I do.

Mark Normand 2:27 Wasting Away In A Margarita.

Ari Shaffir 2:28 Yeah, Pop Top, come on. << Stepped on a pop top >>

Shane Gillis 2:35 What is that?

Ari Shaffir 2:35 << Something, my heart stops >>

Shane Gillis 2:37 What's a pop top?

Ari Shaffir 2:38 Uh, you know, like a...

Shane Gillis 2:39 Convertible?

Ari Shaffir 2:39 You pop a bottle.

Mark Normand 2:40 It's a Florida movie.

Shane Gillis 2:41 But he steps on it? It's Florida music.

Ari Shaffir 2:43 He stepped on it. He's drunk at his apartment, stepping on his shit.

Shane Gillis 2:45 He runs Florida. It's wholesome.

Mark Normand 2:47 Yeah. It's like, it's passable.

Shane Gillis 2:49 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 2:49 Can I get the, uh, circumcision?

Shane Gillis 2:51 Florida's a good place. I was just down there.

Mark Normand 2:53 To Key West it was.

Ari Shaffir 2:53 Oh, shit.

Shane Gillis 2:54 I'd like to be there.

Ari Shaffir 2:55 That's amazing.

Mark Normand 2:56 How about it, guys?

Shane Gillis 2:57 Let's move to Florida.

Mark Normand 2:58 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 2:58 Let's start this over and move there.

Mark Normand 2:59 Florida is where you move to when everything goes terrible.

Shane Gillis 3:02 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 3:02 Key West.

Mark Normand 3:03 If, like, if everything goes bad in Texas, you move to Florida. If, like, Beto O'Rourke becomes governor, and everything-

Ari Shaffir 3:09 What? He's got a skateboard.

Mark Normand 3:10 ... slides. He does, I'm sure. And everything slides into oblivion, you go to Florida.

Shane Gillis 3:14 Yeah, you go to Florida.

Mark Normand 3:15 Florida is like the last stand before you just move to South America.

Shane Gillis 3:18 And Key West is the last of Florida.

Mark Normand 3:19 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 3:20 Exactly.

Mark Normand 3:20 Before you get a compound in Mexico, you go to Florida.

Shane Gillis 3:23 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 3:23 Key West is the jizz coming out of the dick.

Shane Gillis 3:26 Yep.

Ari Shaffir 3:26 That's it.

Shane Gillis 3:27 Yep.

Mark Normand 3:27 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 3:27 It's over right on the bottom.

Mark Normand 3:28 I've never been to Key West.

Ari Shaffir 3:30 Oh.

Shane Gillis 3:30 It rules, dude.

Mark Normand 3:31 I heard it's pretty awesome.

Shane Gillis 3:32 It rules.

Ari Shaffir 3:32 It's an escape.

Mark Normand 3:33 Is there a good club there?

Shane Gillis 3:35 There's a small club, Key West Comedy.

Mark Normand 3:36 Yeah, is it good?

Shane Gillis 3:37 It's great.

Mark Normand 3:37 Yeah?

Shane Gillis 3:38 90 people.

Mark Normand 3:38 You do it?

Shane Gillis 3:39 I just did it.

Mark Normand 3:40 Oh, no shit?

Shane Gillis 3:40 Just spent a week there. Did two shows.

Mark Normand 3:42 Nice.

Ari Shaffir 3:43 Jetski.

Shane Gillis 3:44 Yeah, a jetski, bike everywhere.

Mark Normand 3:46 (clears throat) Fuck a leather lady.

Shane Gillis 3:46 Overlapped with List for a few days.

Mark Normand 3:47 The people there must be just so fucking loose.

Shane Gillis 3:49 They're devoid of any sort of fashion or, or, or trying to stick with anybody. Th- they're just so... I saw three cops in action, and all of them were trying to get an old lady from the street to the sidewalk.

Mark Normand 4:00 That's it?

Ari Shaffir 4:00 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 4:01 It's like, "You're too drunk at 4:00 PM. Please, ma'am."

Ari Shaffir 4:03 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 4:03 "Please, can you go to the sidewalk?"

Mark Normand 4:05 Did you go to, you go to Hemingway's house?

Shane Gillis 4:07 Went to Hemingway's house?

Mark Normand 4:07 Yeah, it's pretty neat.

Shane Gillis 4:08 Yeah.

Mark Normand 4:08 You see all the cats with thumbs.

Shane Gillis 4:09 He ruled it. Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 4:10 Yes!

Shane Gillis 4:10 The one has seven.

Mark Normand 4:11 It's great.

Shane Gillis 4:12 They just have like, the cat, they got-

Mark Normand 4:13 How does that happen?

Shane Gillis 4:14 Breeding.

Mark Normand 4:15 Is it overbreeding?

Shane Gillis 4:17 Breeding them on purpose.

Ari Shaffir 4:17 Inbreeding.

Mark Normand 4:18 Oh, on top, on purpose to make those thumbs.

Ari Shaffir 4:20 No.

Shane Gillis 4:20 Hemingway cats, yeah.

Mark Normand 4:21 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:22 How cute.

Shane Gillis 4:22 Pretty great.

Mark Normand 4:23 That's Hemingway's cats?

Shane Gillis 4:23 Yeah, we touched them, pet them.

Mark Normand 4:25 No shit.

Shane Gillis 4:26 Yeah, they're everywhere. It's pretty fun.

Ari Shaffir 4:26 That's scary. Look how big that is.

Mark Normand 4:27 So you can... Is there like a tour of his house you do?

Shane Gillis 4:29 Yeah.

Mark Normand 4:30 It's awesome.

Shane Gillis 4:31 It's awesome.

Mark Normand 4:31 Typewriters there and shit, like that kind of deal?

Shane Gillis 4:32 Yeah.

Mark Normand 4:33 That's why he killed himself.

Shane Gillis 4:33 Yeah, all his pictures of him. Oh.

Ari Shaffir 4:34 Scary cats. Look at the hands on that thing.

Shane Gillis 4:37 All the concussions he has.

Mark Normand 4:38 That is crazy.

Shane Gillis 4:38 Yeah, it's nuts.

Mark Normand 4:39 Oh, yeah, it's a shit ton of concussions, right?

Shane Gillis 4:41 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:42 Really?

Shane Gillis 4:42 Yeah, and they're like, "This might have also led to his..."

Ari Shaffir 4:44 CTE?

Mark Normand 4:45 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 4:46 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:46 Hmm.

Mark Normand 4:47 He was in war, he was boxing.

Ari Shaffir 4:49 Oh, yeah.

Shane Gillis 4:50 Getting knocked out all the time.

Mark Normand 4:51 Can't tell, 'cause I always... I loved Hemingway, but he also seems kinda like a douche.

Shane Gillis 4:54 I think he believed who he was.

Mark Normand 4:56 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 4:56 Believed in the legends of Hemingway. That's...

Mark Normand 4:57 There's a part of that that's annoying where he's like, "I'll fight anybody on this island." It's like, shut up, author.

Shane Gillis 5:01 We're all just drinking, Arthur.

Mark Normand 5:03 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 5:03 Shut up, dork.

Mark Normand 5:04 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 5:04 Watch your words.

Ari Shaffir 5:05 Yeah, go play with your cats.

Shane Gillis 5:07 Watch your short words.

Mark Normand 5:07 Isn't that funny, like, some guys are intellectuals, they feel like they have to do something like that to be legit?

Shane Gillis 5:12 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 5:12 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 5:13 There you go.

Mark Normand 5:13 Go out and get knocked out. Ugh.

Shane Gillis 5:15 Yeah. He loved like, yeah, bullfighting.

Ari Shaffir 5:18 Oh, yeah. You hear that, Neil deGrasse?

Mark Normand 5:21 What about Neil deGrasse?

Shane Gillis 5:22 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 5:22 He's a wrestler.

Shane Gillis 5:23 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 5:23 Yeah, he wrestles.

Mark Normand 5:24 He was a beast, though, wasn't he?

Shane Gillis 5:25 He was a wrestler in high school, fucking yeah.

Mark Normand 5:28 Yeah. Yeah, he was fit before he-

Ari Shaffir 5:30 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 5:30 That'd be a bummer to get your ass whooped by Neil deGrasse.

Mark Normand 5:32 (laughs) It would.

Shane Gillis 5:33 Start talking shit to him.

Mark Normand 5:34 Sucks that old school was sucking his-

Shane Gillis 5:36 He does, he looks like he wears a unitard to the beach.

Mark Normand 5:38 When men ate mostly oats, they looked like that. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 5:41 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 5:42 (laughs)

Mark Normand 5:42 Uh, oats.

Shane Gillis 5:42 It was part of his nutritious breakfast.

Ari Shaffir 5:44 Looks like Orson Wells.

Mark Normand 5:45 They all ate oats and grits and shit.

Shane Gillis 5:48 He really does.

Ari Shaffir 5:48 But he wanted... He got laid quite a bit. Did he?

Shane Gillis 5:50 He fucked, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 5:50 Oh, man. He fucked everybody.

Mark Normand 5:52 Getting rid of the wives.

Shane Gillis 5:53 Every wife he cheated on with his next wife.

Mark Normand 5:55 Jesus.

Ari Shaffir 5:57 Why marry again?

Mark Normand 5:57 Why trust?

Shane Gillis 5:58 I don't know if you believe that.

Mark Normand 5:58 'Cause he's a dummy.

Shane Gillis 6:01 ... and after this ones over-

Narrator 6:03 Next.

Shane Gillis 6:03 ... I, I probably won't do it again. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:04 Guys get ... They get, uh, romantic.

Shane Gillis 6:07 What have you got here?

Joe Rogan 6:08 You get some, uh, 18-year-old scotch, sir.

Shane Gillis 6:10 Ooh, too old for me.

Joe Rogan 6:11 Oh, let's go. Let's go.

Shane Gillis 6:13 Hey, hey, thank you.

Joe Rogan 6:14 You want some? Don't be a pussy.

Shane Gillis 6:16 All right, to the camera, one.

Joe Rogan 6:17 While you're into that, then. All right. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 6:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:21 That's all we ever do.

Narrator 6:22 Done.

Joe Rogan 6:23 Gentlemen, I look forward to this more than almost everything.

Shane Gillis 6:25 Yeah.

Mark Normand 6:27 Hey.

Joe Rogan 6:27 So much fun.

Mark Normand 6:28 All right.

Shane Gillis 6:28 Hey.

Narrator 6:28 (laughs) Those parks are going away.

Shane Gillis 6:30 Hey.

Joe Rogan 6:33 I do fucking hate parks.

Mark Normand 6:35 (laughs) Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:35 They've done nothing to protect them.

Shane Gillis 6:37 Every time, dude, we're flying down and Ari's like-

Mark Normand 6:38 You talking about Rosa?

Shane Gillis 6:39 ... "When we get there." (laughs)

Mark Normand 6:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:42 (laughs) You ... There's more parks to be saved?

Shane Gillis 6:44 No, I just wanted to go on a hike.

Joe Rogan 6:45 No, we were flying down, he's like, "When you got ... What time do you land?" Me and Norman were on the same flight. He's like, "What time do you land? Let's get in. We'll, we'll get a hike in before the show."

Mark Normand 6:52 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 6:52 Oh, fuck.

Joe Rogan 6:52 I'm like, "Dude, shut the fuck up."

Mark Normand 6:53 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 6:54 A hike?

Joe Rogan 6:54 It's winter in New York.

Shane Gillis 6:55 About fucking hikes.

Joe Rogan 6:56 Don't you appreciate the sun?

Shane Gillis 6:56 Oh, that's right.

Mark Normand 6:57 I can just-

Shane Gillis 6:57 You guys are freezing up there.

Mark Normand 6:58 You can just sit outside.

Shane Gillis 6:59 Yeah.

Mark Normand 6:59 Have a, have a cocktail.

Joe Rogan 7:00 Yeah, go outside by the lake.

Mark Normand 7:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:02 Just hang out, watch the canoes roll by. It's beautiful.

Mark Normand 7:04 Beautiful.

Shane Gillis 7:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:05 Lovely.

Narrator 7:06 Yeah, you wanted to go inland, into the city.

Shane Gillis 7:07 Yeah, I had to buy deodorant.

Narrator 7:09 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 7:09 You were like, "Let's walk by the river." Then we walk by the river, there's fucking just homeless dudes living-

Mark Normand 7:14 Yep.

Shane Gillis 7:15 ... in the fucking mud.

Mark Normand 7:16 (laughs)

Narrator 7:16 Yeah. Yeah.

Shane Gillis 7:17 Fucking hell.

Narrator 7:17 They got a tent it's sinking in. (laughs)

Mark Normand 7:19 I know.

Shane Gillis 7:19 Yeah. Doesn't it bother you how much Ari loves, like, nature?

Narrator 7:22 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 7:23 It's so annoying.

Joe Rogan 7:24 Well, when you live in Manhattan, you need it. It's like a drug. You need to go get your drug.

Mark Normand 7:28 That's true.

Shane Gillis 7:28 I wanna walk in the park.

Joe Rogan 7:29 Go to the park.

Shane Gillis 7:29 Let's go to the park and just sit in the grass and like ...

Mark Normand 7:31 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 7:32 Shut the fuck up, dude.

Narrator 7:33 He's got it in his veins.

Mark Normand 7:33 He'll be in the ground soon with his age.

Narrator 7:35 (laughs)

Mark Normand 7:36 Gotta connect.

Shane Gillis 7:37 That's right. Get used to it.

Joe Rogan 7:38 Have you ever seen a coyote in Central Park?

Shane Gillis 7:40 No, I've seen them in LA.

Joe Rogan 7:41 Have you? They ... Apparently they have them in Central Park now.

Mark Normand 7:43 What?

Joe Rogan 7:44 Yeah, yeah. There's all these photos of coyotes in Central Park.

Narrator 7:47 Coyotes?

Mark Normand 7:47 Maybe, like, the homeless thing.

Joe Rogan 7:49 They, they're a weird animal.

Narrator 7:50 Up in the brambles?

Joe Rogan 7:50 Like, as they get persecuted, they move out and branch out their, their territory.

Mark Normand 7:54 It's like Jews.

Narrator 7:55 Jews, yeah.

Mark Normand 7:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:55 Yeah, I was gonna say, it reminds me of something.

Shane Gillis 7:57 Yeah.

Mark Normand 7:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:58 Well, they were attacked by the, the gray wolves-

Narrator 8:00 Haven't been back to Poland in a while.

Joe Rogan 8:00 The, the gray wolves and them are not related. They're the, like, the one animal ... Like, when they have chi-wolves, like, when they ... A coyote and a wolf breed, it's always a red wolf.

Mark Normand 8:09 Mm.

Joe Rogan 8:09 So it's an eastern wolf.

Narrator 8:10 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:10 So the western wolves, the gray wolves, the ones that they killed off and then they're bringing them back 'cause they're idiots. They're bringing them back from Canada, like, (laughs) reintroducing wolves.

Shane Gillis 8:19 Just letting them out in Manhatten.

Joe Rogan 8:19 It's such a terrible idea, but, uh, the gray wolves used to kill the coyotes, so, so the coyotes, when the wolves were killing them, they would, uh, have more babies, so the females, whenever they do roll call and they scream out in the night, if one of them is missing, it causes the female to have extra pups.

Shane Gillis 8:34 No.

Mark Normand 8:35 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 8:35 Yeah.

Mark Normand 8:35 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 8:35 It was a great book called Coyote America by Dan Flores. I, I had him, had him on the podcast.

Mark Normand 8:40 Do you have-

Joe Rogan 8:41 They're an amazing animal. They're in every-

Narrator 8:42 I love the roll call. You hear it when they get-

Joe Rogan 8:43 Yeah.

Narrator 8:43 When they get something, they all, like, come over.

Mark Normand 8:45 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 8:45 I had to save, I had to save my cat from some coyotes.

Narrator 8:47 Ooh.

Mark Normand 8:47 Really?

Shane Gillis 8:48 Yeah. Did I ever say this on here?

Mark Normand 8:49 Lay it on me, fatty.

Joe Rogan 8:50 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 8:51 Yeah. No, I was just sitting at my parents' house and all of a sudden I heard some fucking dogs screaming in the backyard. I never heard that shit.

Narrator 8:56 Yeah.

Mark Normand 8:57 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 8:57 They were just in my parents' backyard screaming, and I went outside and they were, like, circling my cat.

Mark Normand 9:01 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 9:01 Oh.

Shane Gillis 9:01 I had to run out there and, like, pick him up.

Mark Normand 9:04 What a pussy you have, man.

Joe Rogan 9:04 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 9:04 I was, like, out there like, "G- g- get out of here."

Joe Rogan 9:06 (laughs)

Mark Normand 9:07 Yeah. "Go on, get."

Shane Gillis 9:08 I was just, like, screaming at these dogs until in the morning.

Joe Rogan 9:10 I watched a coyote jump over my back fence with a chicken in its mouth.

Narrator 9:13 Oh.

Joe Rogan 9:13 Jumped over my fence. It was like, you know, I guess like a six-foot-high fence.

Mark Normand 9:17 What?

Joe Rogan 9:17 Jumped over it like it was nothing.

Narrator 9:19 Yeah.

Mark Normand 9:19 Wow.

Joe Rogan 9:19 Like it was nothing. Just ping to the top of the fence, paws on the top, doosh over the fence.

Shane Gillis 9:24 That's awesome. That's awesome.

Joe Rogan 9:24 Like, it just let me know, like, this fence is bullshit.

Mark Normand 9:27 (laughs)

Narrator 9:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:27 This fence is doing zero.

Narrator 9:28 They're slower than they can be.

Joe Rogan 9:29 My ... Like, my dog has zero chance of getting out.

Mark Normand 9:32 Right, right. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 9:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:33 But these coyotes just go in and out like it's nothing.

Narrator 9:35 (laughs)

Mark Normand 9:36 Damn.

Joe Rogan 9:36 It's wild, man. W- See how ... They're little wolves.

Mark Normand 9:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:40 They're, they're wolves that live amongst us. They're just a small wolf with a wolf head.

Shane Gillis 9:43 Yeah, I didn't know they were in Central Park. That's cool.

Joe Rogan 9:44 They're everywhere. They're in every single city in the country.

Narrator 9:46 What do they do, burrow? How do they... I ... Wow.

Joe Rogan 9:48 Look at them ... (laughs)

Mark Normand 9:48 Look at that. Cute.

Shane Gillis 9:49 New York City's roof?

Mark Normand 9:50 They're pretty.

Joe Rogan 9:50 Yeah, it's someone's roof. But they're everywhere.

Mark Normand 9:52 That's Bushwick.

Joe Rogan 9:53 So this is only within-

Narrator 9:54 Wait. Oh, that's a Photoshop.

Joe Rogan 9:55 This is only within the last ... Oh, no it's not. That's just a perspective shot.

Narrator 10:00 That wasn't a Photoshop.

Mark Normand 10:00 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 10:00 That's a perspective. Yeah, that's a roof.

Narrator 10:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:02 It's on a roof looking over.

Narrator 10:04 Oh.

Joe Rogan 10:04 It's pretty crazy.

Shane Gillis 10:05 Oh. He thought he was on the street?

Joe Rogan 10:06 Yeah.

Mark Normand 10:08 (laughs)

Narrator 10:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:08 It's like a giant wolf about to eat the lady.

Mark Normand 10:10 Like, what?

Joe Rogan 10:10 It's a pre- ... It's on a roof and it's a-

Narrator 10:12 So he's like, "Be cool."

Joe Rogan 10:13 But that's, uh, I guess that's the same coyote.

Mark Normand 10:15 But there's rats galore out there.

Joe Rogan 10:16 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 10:17 Yeah, there are rats.

Mark Normand 10:17 That's snacks all day.

Shane Gillis 10:18 There are rats.

Joe Rogan 10:18 Well, that's what they do in LA. They clean up the rats in LA. That's ... You know, they ... They're a reason why we're not infested. You think about all the fucking garbage that's on the floor in LA, on the streets.

Mark Normand 10:28 Oh, yeah.

Shane Gillis 10:29 Animals in the city is jarring.

Joe Rogan 10:31 Yeah.

Mark Normand 10:31 You see those monkeys?

Joe Rogan 10:32 I would say the-

Shane Gillis 10:32 Yeah, they're fun.

Joe Rogan 10:33 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 10:33 When me and, uh-

Narrator 10:33 Is that in Florida?

Shane Gillis 10:35 When I was with Stanhope in ... When I was staying at Stanhope's, you know, me and him were drinking. We'd go around, like, walking around at night. There'd be fucking javelinas everywhere.

Joe Rogan 10:42 Javelinas killed his neighbor's dog.

Shane Gillis 10:44 And they would ... They fucked people up.

Mark Normand 10:44 For real?

Narrator 10:45 What's a javelina?

Joe Rogan 10:45 They fucked up his neighbor's dog.

Shane Gillis 10:46 This wild pig that's, like, blind.

Mark Normand 10:47 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 10:48 Yeah.

Narrator 10:48 Oh.

Shane Gillis 10:48 It's fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 10:49 They didn't ... They don't have such good vision, but neither do regular wild pigs.

Narrator 10:52 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 10:53 Yeah, they just ... They operate by smell mostly. Smell and sound. They, they don't see very well. If you pause-

Narrator 10:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:59 Like, if you're sneaking up on one and you just pause, they just ... They give up on looking at you and then they start eating the ground.

Mark Normand 11:03 Whoa.

Shane Gillis 11:04 Yeah, those boys are running around. It's pretty fun.

Mark Normand 11:06 Holy moly.

Joe Rogan 11:06 I shot one of those in South Texas a couple months ago.

Narrator 11:09 Nice.

Mark Normand 11:09 I bet they taste good.

Joe Rogan 11:09 It turned into chorizo.

Mark Normand 11:10 Hell yeah.

Shane Gillis 11:11 Nice.

Joe Rogan 11:11 Yeah, I have, I have javelino chorizo.

Mark Normand 11:13 Javelinas.

Joe Rogan 11:13 So cute.

Narrator 11:14 Yeah, the little ones are great.

Joe Rogan 11:15 Yeah.

Mark Normand 11:15 Oh.

Joe Rogan 11:16 They're a weird animal, man. They're not really a pig. It's, uh, it's called a peccary.

Mark Normand 11:20 They're furry.

Joe Rogan 11:20 It's like a cousin to a pig.

Narrator 11:22 They really look like pigs.

Joe Rogan 11:23 Crazy teeth, man. Their teeth sharpen as they open and close their mouth.

Narrator 11:26 What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 11:27 Their teeth rub against each other like two blades, like sharpening.

Mark Normand 11:30 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 11:31 They're razor sharp teeth. It's crazy.

Mark Normand 11:34 Damn.

Joe Rogan 11:34 Yeah, that's what their teeth look like. I don't-

Shane Gillis 11:36 I hope, I hope Stanhope gets killed by a javelina. (laughs)

Mark Normand 11:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:39 He'd get drunk walking in a dumb suit.

Mark Normand 11:42 Get one-

Shane Gillis 11:42 And just kill pigs.

Narrator 11:43 And slash through his-

Joe Rogan 11:44 If it's not them, it's the cartel.

Narrator 11:46 Oh, no. Just fucking pigs.

Joe Rogan 11:49 Not my suit.

Shane Gillis 11:50 Yeah.

Narrator 11:50 What the hell?

Shane Gillis 11:52 I can't reach my cigarette out the window.

Joe Rogan 11:53 Don't spill the Mai Tai.

Mark Normand 11:56 Uh, I was in Safari and a leopard walked by the Jeep and it went-

Shane Gillis 12:00 Holy shit.

Mark Normand 12:01 ... uh, uh, uh, uh.

Shane Gillis 12:03 (laughs)

Mark Normand 12:03 And we were like, "Oh," and it was salivating like crazy and then-

Joe Rogan 12:06 Whoa.

Mark Normand 12:06 ... 20 seconds later in a bush you hear, "Uh."

Ari Shaffir 12:10 ... and he went and fucked it.

12:11 No.

Joe Rogan 12:11 Oh, he was in heat?

Ari Shaffir 12:12 Yeah. (laughs)

12:14 Oh, wow.

Narrator 12:16 God.

Joe Rogan 12:16 (laughs) Said he went and fucked it. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 12:16 Wow.

12:16 That was a mating call.

Joe Rogan 12:17 Wow, what a weird mating call. (choking)

Ari Shaffir 12:21 I've tried, it doesn't work.

12:22 That's, that's, that's the end.

Joe Rogan 12:23 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 12:23 But safari is crazy 'cause the, the lions will walk right by you.

Joe Rogan 12:26 Fuck that.

Ari Shaffir 12:27 And they just know not to eat you.

Joe Rogan 12:28 Did you ever see that video, uh, of the lady? She's trying to take photos from the, the car with the windows rolled down, and the cat reaches in and grabs her and pulls her out of the car?

Ari Shaffir 12:37 Pull it up.

12:38 No. No.

12:38 It's in Africa, it's a lady, she's in the, the backseat of a car, and they tell you to keep your windows rolled up, and she just decides to roll it down to take photos, and this, this lion just pulls her out of the car. Whoa.

12:48 You saw the one with the Asian guy screaming at his wife getting all quiet?

Joe Rogan 12:51 Yeah.

Narrator 12:51 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 12:51 The tiger?

12:52 She gets out of the car-

Joe Rogan 12:53 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 12:53 She gets out of the car in a fucking-

12:55 To scream at him.

Joe Rogan 12:55 ... tiger park to scream.

Narrator 12:56 What?

Joe Rogan 12:56 And so she gets jagged, she gets grabbed by this fucking tiger, and then the, the mom comes out to try to save her, and the mom gets killed.

Ari Shaffir 13:04 Yup.

Narrator 13:04 What?

Joe Rogan 13:04 So she lived.

Ari Shaffir 13:05 And then the husband's, like, starts to get out, be like, "Oh, nah."

Joe Rogan 13:08 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 13:08 "I'm free actually."

Joe Rogan 13:09 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 13:09 Damn.

Joe Rogan 13:10 He should just push her.

Ari Shaffir 13:11 Yeah. (laughs)

13:12 What ... Do we have ... Is that a video?

Joe Rogan 13:13 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a video.

Ari Shaffir 13:14 It's a video.

Joe Rogan 13:14 It's horrible.

Ari Shaffir 13:15 It's wild.

Joe Rogan 13:15 When you see, like, cats can't help-

Ari Shaffir 13:17 Cats can't help.

Joe Rogan 13:17 ... themselves, man. If they see you outside the ... Here it is.

Ari Shaffir 13:19 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 13:19 She's like-

Ari Shaffir 13:20 Oh, this is the tiger and the woman.

Joe Rogan 13:21 She's like, "You motherfucker. I fucking told you I saw your DMs. I saw fucking-"

Ari Shaffir 13:25 (laughs)

Narrator 13:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:26 So she gets out of the car.

Ari Shaffir 13:27 And he said, "What are you doing?"

Joe Rogan 13:29 Gets all the way around to yell at him.

Ari Shaffir 13:31 We're still meeting.

Joe Rogan 13:31 So she's yelling and other people are stopping, and then you realize out of nowhere, too late.

Ari Shaffir 13:36 Oh!

Narrator 13:37 Oh!

Joe Rogan 13:37 Like, instantaneously. So he runs after it.

Ari Shaffir 13:40 I mean, he run right at it.

Joe Rogan 13:40 And then the mom, the mom gets out, and she's the one who gets killed.

Ari Shaffir 13:43 Oh, he can't hang on to the mom.

Joe Rogan 13:44 So that lady gets killed.

Ari Shaffir 13:45 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:45 But she's trying to protect her child, man. Imagine how ... Like, "Why did I raise this crazy lady?"

Ari Shaffir 13:51 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 13:51 "I raised a crazy person who gets out in a fucking car-"

Ari Shaffir 13:53 Wow.

Narrator 13:53 They both got killed?

Joe Rogan 13:54 "... car screaming at tigers." The lady, the only, the mom got killed.

Ari Shaffir 13:57 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 13:57 This, this one right here.

Narrator 13:58 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 13:58 She got killed. The last one out of the car got killed.

Ari Shaffir 14:01 That's gotta be the last way you wanna die. That's not a great way to die.

Joe Rogan 14:03 No, it's not a good way to die.

Ari Shaffir 14:04 Animal.

14:04 When they eat your foot off first-

14:05 Any animal.

14:06 ... but you're still alive.

Joe Rogan 14:06 Yeah, animals-

Ari Shaffir 14:07 Great, great way to get out of a relationship. (beeping)

Joe Rogan 14:09 Great way to get outta it.

Ari Shaffir 14:09 I'll fight with her in the park with tigers. (laughs) She'll get out.

Joe Rogan 14:12 If I know this crazy bitch, she'll get out of the car.

Ari Shaffir 14:13 She'll get out.

14:14 She always gets out. Yeah.

14:15 And then Ling Ling will run up and-

14:16 She always makes it a thing. (laughs)

14:16 ... eat her or something.

Joe Rogan 14:16 Some people, they'll, they'll let you know. They'll get out in traffic. "I don't give a fuck." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 14:21 Yeah.

Narrator 14:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:21 There's just, there's some (laughs) people that would just yell at you in traffic.

Ari Shaffir 14:24 But it works.

Joe Rogan 14:25 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 14:25 I had a girlfriend follow me 'cause she said, "If I got out of the car in the rain, you would come out and chase me, right?" And I'm like, "No, I'd respect your decision to get out of the car."

14:31 I hate when they do that.

14:32 What do you mean chase you down?

Joe Rogan 14:33 You didn't come after me. No way.

Ari Shaffir 14:34 Oh, thought you hated me.

14:36 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:37 (laughs) I had that happen when I was 21. I was d- dating this girl, and she got mad, and she goes, "Let me outta the car." I go, "Okay." So I pulled over and let her out of the car, and she got out of the car, and I drove home.

Ari Shaffir 14:45 What the fuck you doing?

Narrator 14:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:46 And then she called me the next day. She goes, "Why the fuck did you just leave me there?" I go, "You told me you wanted to get out of the car."

Ari Shaffir 14:51 Yeah.

14:51 I was giving you space.

14:52 Yeah, I was trying to get you mad for no reason.

Joe Rogan 14:53 Like, what am I gonna do, say, "No, don't get out of the car, other adult that I'm talking to."

Ari Shaffir 14:58 (laughs) She was like, "I was attacked by a tiger."

14:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:00 What the hell, Joe?

Ari Shaffir 15:00 Joe!

Joe Rogan 15:02 I've dropped her off in Kenmore Square. It's a nice spot.

Ari Shaffir 15:05 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 15:05 Plenty of transportation.

Narrator 15:06 Where they at?

Ari Shaffir 15:06 Is it?

Narrator 15:07 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 15:07 Nice area. With nothing, nothing dangerous about it. It was just like, "Come on."

Ari Shaffir 15:10 I had to take a train home like a peasant.

Joe Rogan 15:13 Just someone yelling at you like, "Let me out of the car!" Like, "Oh, please get out of the car."

Ari Shaffir 15:17 Yeah. (laughs)

Narrator 15:17 Yeah, right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:17 "Please."

Ari Shaffir 15:17 Perfect.

Joe Rogan 15:18 "Please. Goodbye. Bye."

Narrator 15:20 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 15:20 (laughs)

15:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:20 As soon as you listen, then you listen to your own music, "Yeah, finally."

Ari Shaffir 15:23 Oh, that's right.

Narrator 15:24 (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 15:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:24 "About to rock out."

Ari Shaffir 15:24 (laughs)

Narrator 15:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:25 This is the same girl when I, I-

Ari Shaffir 15:26 You miss her? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:26 I was in a car accident with her, and, uh, I had a, a, a Whitesnake video, a Whitesnake cassette in my car, and she made me leave it in the car. She's like, "D- don't take that."

Ari Shaffir 15:36 Why?

Joe Rogan 15:37 'Cause I was taking my stuff to leave. She was like-

Ari Shaffir 15:39 Oh.

Joe Rogan 15:39 ... "You shouldn't be listening to that." Like she thought Whitesnake was stupid? << Here I go again on my own >>

Ari Shaffir 15:45 << Here I go again on my own >>

Narrator 15:46 Yeah. Chaka-ching.

Joe Rogan 15:47 She was into, like, intelligent music.

Ari Shaffir 15:49 Aha.

Joe Rogan 15:50 She was smarter than me.

Ari Shaffir 15:51 Like what?

Joe Rogan 15:51 I don't know. I don't remember.

Ari Shaffir 15:53 Crap.

Joe Rogan 15:53 Some shit. Some Pixies or some shit.

Ari Shaffir 15:55 Classical.

Joe Rogan 15:56 Some shit that shows people you're deep.

Ari Shaffir 15:58 Right. (laughs)

15:58 The Cure, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:00 Some shit. (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 16:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:00 Some shit that's emotional.

Ari Shaffir 16:02 Marcy. I think that's a good point.

Joe Rogan 16:02 Look, man, if you can't am- appreciate a good fucking Whitesnake video, it's fun.

Ari Shaffir 16:07 Ah.

Joe Rogan 16:08 Doesn't mean it's the only thing you like. Like, you know, I like ice cream too.

Ari Shaffir 16:11 Yeah.

16:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:11 I like other stuff. I like stuff.

Ari Shaffir 16:13 It's nice being alone though.

Joe Rogan 16:13 Some of the stuff I like is dumb.

Ari Shaffir 16:15 Get me White Snake.

16:15 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:15 I like South Park.

Ari Shaffir 16:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:16 I like, I like things.

Ari Shaffir 16:17 South Park's is the best.

Narrator 16:18 South Park rules.

Joe Rogan 16:18 They fucking rule.

Ari Shaffir 16:19 They're killing it right now.

16:19 You see what they just did?

Joe Rogan 16:21 What'd they do?

Ari Shaffir 16:21 They went at Harry, they went at Harry and Meghan.

Joe Rogan 16:23 No!

Ari Shaffir 16:24 She's suing them.

16:24 And they're trying to sue them. It's like, "Don't fucking-"

Joe Rogan 16:26 What are you ... You're suing South Park? Really?

Ari Shaffir 16:28 "... kick that hornet's nest."

Joe Rogan 16:29 Really?

Ari Shaffir 16:29 Do not. Do- Oh my God, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:31 Really?

Ari Shaffir 16:31 You're just gonna empower them to go harder.

Joe Rogan 16:33 Really?

Narrator 16:33 Pretty brilliant episode.

Ari Shaffir 16:34 They're not, not suing, just mad. They're not suing.

16:36 Just mad.

Joe Rogan 16:36 Oh, okay.

Ari Shaffir 16:37 They're just mad.

16:37 Oh, they made an official statement that "We are angry."

16:39 Yeah, it just says they ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:40 Which was exactly-

Ari Shaffir 16:41 "They are not suing. It's all nonsense, but-"

16:42 ... what the episode was.

16:43 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 16:44 It's exactly what they were making fun of them for.

Ari Shaffir 16:45 So she's gonna watch it-

Narrator 16:45 Yeah, they nailed it.

Ari Shaffir 16:46 ... and she's mad now.

Joe Rogan 16:47 Well, you know. You know what's going on. Someone went-

Ari Shaffir 16:51 It's a-

Joe Rogan 16:51 ... wanted a lot of attention, and now they got it.

Ari Shaffir 16:52 That was the whole episode.

16:53 That was the ep. (laughs)

16:54 Yeah.

16:54 That was the promise.

Joe Rogan 16:55 That what it was?

Ari Shaffir 16:55 They were like, "We want privacy," and they keep going on every magazine and news-

Narrator 16:58 Ah.

Ari Shaffir 16:58 Yeah. "We're on a privacy tour."

Joe Rogan 17:00 Yeah.

Narrator 17:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:00 Yeah, the Babylon Bee went after them too for that.

Ari Shaffir 17:03 It's just-

Narrator 17:03 They just couldn't picture it, "We just wanna be regular people," and they're like, "Wait, no. Job?"

Joe Rogan 17:08 (laughs)

Narrator 17:08 "No way."

Joe Rogan 17:09 Yeah, "Go work at Supermarket."

Narrator 17:10 "I'm gonna pretend regular people."

Joe Rogan 17:11 Yeah, "Be a regular person."

Ari Shaffir 17:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:13 "Go get a job in an office."

Ari Shaffir 17:14 That would be an intense level of white guilt, if they just started working-

Joe Rogan 17:17 Be like, "Fuck, I'm British royalty."

Narrator 17:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:20 Like, "Damn."

Ari Shaffir 17:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:20 "We did some bad stuff." (laughs)

Ari Shaffir 17:22 She's half black.

Joe Rogan 17:23 And then the wife convinces you to leave the royal family. Like, "I'm out."

Narrator 17:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:28 "I don't need you guys." Which is crazy, 'cause don't you just get free money? Like, of course.

Ari Shaffir 17:31 "Dude, get me my allowance now."

Joe Rogan 17:32 What do you get when you're a royal?

Ari Shaffir 17:34 You get a stipend.

17:35 You get a sti- you get a bunch of cash.

Joe Rogan 17:35 What's the stipend like?

Ari Shaffir 17:36 I'm sure it's a million a month.

Joe Rogan 17:37 You spend it on anything you want?

Ari Shaffir 17:38 Yeah, what about the countesses?

Joe Rogan 17:39 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 17:39 Do they get ca- do they get paid? Like less?

17:41 Yeah, all of them.

Joe Rogan 17:41 Hmm, that's a good question, right? Like, what's the chart?

Ari Shaffir 17:43 How far down do you go-

Joe Rogan 17:44 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 17:45 Hmm.

17:45 ... before you're like, "You don't get a check no more"?

Joe Rogan 17:46 What do you think you'd get if you were a prince? What do you think a prince gets?

Ari Shaffir 17:50 Oh, it's all jewels and rubies and shit.

17:52 All your bills paid?

Narrator 17:52 That's nice.

Ari Shaffir 17:52 I bet publicly, I bet publicly their salary is nothing.

Joe Rogan 17:55 ... what they show.

Mark Normand 17:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:56 But then, you know-

Mark Normand 17:57 It's all-

Joe Rogan 17:57 ... they do fucking jewels. Well, there has to be some ... They do get paid something, though, right?

Mark Normand 18:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:02 If they show.

Shane Gillis 18:02 Then I saw one episode of that dumb crown show, and there ... It was the queen bitching about how her fucking private yacht (laughs) is too old and they're gonna have to do renovations.

Mark Normand 18:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:09 (laughs) Yeah. It was the queen.

Shane Gillis 18:10 I was like, "Turn this the fuck off."

Mark Normand 18:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:11 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 18:11 Why do you care about this?

Mark Normand 18:12 He's got a good idea.

Joe Rogan 18:13 I got in a fight with my girlfriend about that show.

Shane Gillis 18:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:15 I was watching it. I started saying, "Up the rath," the whole time. I was like, "I'm a fucking Irish. Fuck these people."

Shane Gillis 18:19 (laughs)

Mark Normand 18:19 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 18:19 And she made me get a 23 and Me. She was like, "You're not even Irish." (laughs)

Mark Normand 18:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:23 So I just did it yesterday. Oh, yeah? Before I flew down there. I put on Braveheart. I was like, "Look at this shit, dude. Fuck the British."

Shane Gillis 18:30 (laughs)

Mark Normand 18:30 There you go.

Shane Gillis 18:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:31 Yeah.

Mark Normand 18:32 There's still tension there.

Shane Gillis 18:33 Really?

Joe Rogan 18:33 Oh, for sure.

Mark Normand 18:33 They hate the mix.

Joe Rogan 18:34 Definitely. I remember when I went to Belfast. You know, you go to Northern Ireland-

Shane Gillis 18:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:38 ... and they still have cars that are set up to ... for bombs.

Shane Gillis 18:42 What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 18:42 They had bomb-proof cars. They had cars that were like ... The entire car was covered in metal. Like, they had this huge bumper system set up. It was like their ... their-

Shane Gillis 18:51 Wow.

Joe Rogan 18:51 ... their car is full of bombs.

Mark Normand 18:52 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 18:52 They're like, they ... Because they might have to deal with the IRA. Like, this is not that long ago.

Mark Normand 18:57 Wow.

Joe Rogan 18:57 Oh, wow. I was there, like, 2000-ish. Somewhere in the 2000s, like 2005, 2006 or something like that-

Mark Normand 19:03 Wow.

Joe Rogan 19:03 ... we were over there.

Mark Normand 19:04 Hm.

Joe Rogan 19:04 So, like, even back then, they had these, these cars that were armored.

Mark Normand 19:08 Wow.

Joe Rogan 19:08 Wow. I was like, "This is wild." And, you know, when you talk to people and they talk to you about, like, the horrors that they had, the war between the Protestants and the Catholics, like-

Shane Gillis 19:15 Such a weird one.

Joe Rogan 19:16 It's like, crazy.

Shane Gillis 19:16 Gives a fuck for the same exact people.

Mark Normand 19:18 Molotov cocktail coming through.

Joe Rogan 19:20 Crazy. But it just shows you, people can other people so easy.

Shane Gillis 19:23 Yeah.

Mark Normand 19:23 With their gingers.

Joe Rogan 19:23 But they got othered pretty hard by the British.

Mark Normand 19:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:26 Oh, they're pretty fucked at hard.

Shane Gillis 19:26 Yeah, they're like, "Your religion's illegal. Your music's illegal." Everything.

Joe Rogan 19:29 Yeah, yeah.

Mark Normand 19:29 Freckles.

Joe Rogan 19:30 Oh, right. Freckles. Yeah.

Shane Gillis 19:31 No more shillelaghs?

Joe Rogan 19:33 No more leprechauns.

Shane Gillis 19:34 Oh, fuck that.

Mark Normand 19:35 Man.

Joe Rogan 19:35 That's our whole culture. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 19:37 (Laughs) Fuck that. We need those fucking leprechauns.

Joe Rogan 19:39 War! War!

Mark Normand 19:41 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 19:41 (laughs) People just donating guns.

Mark Normand 19:43 Well, the Irish are fun because they don't get offended. They're the ... one of the last gr- ... I mean, look at the Notre Dame guy. It's a drunk-

Joe Rogan 19:48 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 19:48 Yeah.

Mark Normand 19:48 ... midget with a hat cocked. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:49 Right. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 19:49 Me and Jesse, man-

Joe Rogan 19:50 That's right. (laughs) ... we were talking about it.

Mark Normand 19:51 That's so true. They don't get mad.

Shane Gillis 19:51 You can call them drunk pedophiles all you want-

Joe Rogan 19:53 Yeah. Yeah.

Shane Gillis 19:53 ... and they have to just take it.

Mark Normand 19:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:54 I have, like, five cousins with that tattoo. (laughs)

Mark Normand 19:56 There you go. Exactly.

Joe Rogan 19:57 Everyone has the Notre Dame thing. (laughs)

Mark Normand 19:59 The, the clover.

Joe Rogan 20:00 Hell yeah.

Mark Normand 20:01 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:01 Yeah. Isn't it funny? Because you never see, like, a Native American with a Chiefs tattoo. Yeah. That's true. Look at that guy. That's fucking offensive. Yeah. Look at his rules.

Shane Gillis 20:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:07 Look at how offensive he is. "Hey, I don't fucking fight you."

Mark Normand 20:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:11 (laughs) I had a conversation with a guy in a bar-

Shane Gillis 20:13 Is that his wife?

Joe Rogan 20:13 ... in Belfast.

Shane Gillis 20:15 (laughs)

Mark Normand 20:15 He's ... Look at ... He's got his face. "You called me gay." Let's go.

Joe Rogan 20:17 When you're ... When you're in Belfast-

Shane Gillis 20:19 Like, "Fuck off."

Joe Rogan 20:19 ... they barely speak English. Yeah.

Mark Normand 20:20 Oh.

Joe Rogan 20:20 Like, you barely can understand what they're saying.

Mark Normand 20:22 Oh, that's crazy.

Joe Rogan 20:23 And this guy, all, all he was saying to me ... We were just ... We were both hammered. He's like, "I'll fight any man."

Shane Gillis 20:28 (laughs)

Mark Normand 20:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:28 That's all he kept saying. (laughs) "I'll fight any man. Fucking Chuck Liddell. Whoever it is, I'll fight any man."

Mark Normand 20:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:35 That's pretty good. And I go, "I believe you, bro."

Shane Gillis 20:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:37 "Let's do another shot."

Mark Normand 20:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:38 We were getting blasted.

Mark Normand 20:41 Do they-

Joe Rogan 20:41 They, they go hard, man.

Shane Gillis 20:42 They go hard.

Joe Rogan 20:43 Drinking Guinness-

Shane Gillis 20:44 They go hard. Do not keep up.

Joe Rogan 20:45 ... Guinness and shots. (exhales)

Mark Normand 20:46 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:47 Then the Scottish, even the British, they all go so fucking hard. Hard. They go so hard. Britain's been drinking so hard.

Shane Gillis 20:51 They go hard on fucking drugs.

Mark Normand 20:53 The Germans, too.

Joe Rogan 20:53 And they love cocaine.

Shane Gillis 20:54 They love coke, they love molly.

Joe Rogan 20:56 Ugh.

Shane Gillis 20:56 They get the ... They don't have to deal with the fentanyl shit like we do.

Joe Rogan 20:58 Apparently, over there ... Is that Diane? Apparently, over there, like, even, like, a lot of the royals are partying.

Mark Normand 21:05 Really?

Joe Rogan 21:05 Like, a lot of the politicians party. Like, everybody knows, like, Boris-

Mark Normand 21:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:09 What's his name? The guy that's out now.

Mark Normand 21:10 Karloff.

Joe Rogan 21:11 That guy. The vampire.

Mark Normand 21:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:13 What's his name? I have no idea.

Mark Normand 21:14 Boris ... Johnson?

Joe Rogan 21:15 Johnson.

Mark Normand 21:15 Delson?

Shane Gillis 21:16 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:16 That guy looks like Trump? That guy partied. (laughs) Yeah. That was like, the thing about him-

Mark Normand 21:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:19 ... is that he partied.

Shane Gillis 21:20 That's how they ended-

Joe Rogan 21:21 He looks-

Shane Gillis 21:21 ... the COVID lockdowns. They caught him at a massive party.

Joe Rogan 21:23 That's right. That's right.

Shane Gillis 21:23 He said, "The party goes ..." You're right. Everybody partied.

Joe Rogan 21:25 He's partying, yeah.

Mark Normand 21:25 He looks hungover all the time. His hair is all fucked up.

Joe Rogan 21:27 I-

Mark Normand 21:27 He looks like Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber.

Joe Rogan 21:29 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 21:29 Yeah. He does.

Joe Rogan 21:29 I think he's having a good time, just out there having a good time.

Mark Normand 21:32 Our pets' heads are falling off.

Shane Gillis 21:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:33 Just give me the goddamn number. What happened to him? He's not-

Shane Gillis 21:35 I think he's still around. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 21:36 But he's not there guy anymore.

Shane Gillis 21:37 He's not.

Joe Rogan 21:38 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 21:39 I have no idea what the fuck is going on. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:40 Didn't they have a new lady, and she quit quick? She took the job-

Mark Normand 21:43 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 21:43 ... for like six weeks and quit. Is that ... In the UK?

Mark Normand 21:46 Women.

Shane Gillis 21:46 Yeah, when we were over there-

Joe Rogan 21:46 That's right.

Shane Gillis 21:47 ... that's when it was happening.

Joe Rogan 21:47 When we were over there, the lady had just quit. Yeah. She was the ... Whatever they are. They're queen, king, prime minister. Oh, yeah.

Shane Gillis 21:52 It's so funny hearing about their politics-

Joe Rogan 21:54 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 21:54 ... and you're like, "I don't care at all about any of it."

Joe Rogan 21:55 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 21:55 "I don't care at all of it. I don't really care party system."

Joe Rogan 21:57 They care so much about us, though.

Mark Normand 21:58 They love us.

Joe Rogan 21:59 Yeah. Well, we're the-

Shane Gillis 22:00 Hate it.

Joe Rogan 22:00 Weirdos that have the bombs that we've launched.

Mark Normand 22:02 But we're the reality TV of news.

Joe Rogan 22:04 Yeah.

Mark Normand 22:05 For sure.

Joe Rogan 22:05 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mark Normand 22:06 Kardashian, the Kanyes. I mean-

Shane Gillis 22:07 Yep.

Mark Normand 22:07 ... we got the best stuff.

Joe Rogan 22:08 Oh, yeah. We got the most stuff. Yeah, we're, we're the wildest of all.

Mark Normand 22:11 The Musk.

Joe Rogan 22:12 Yeah. And it's also ... We're ... We have, like, free speech. We have a lot ... We got a lot of weird shit over here. Everybody has guns. Very interesting.

Mark Normand 22:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:19 If you were looking at us from another country's perspective, you're like, "What a fucking crazy place."

Shane Gillis 22:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:23 They ... Guns.

Mark Normand 22:24 Free speech. They all have guns, ev- Mental illness.

Joe Rogan 22:26 So much mental illness. They celebrate it.

Shane Gillis 22:28 (laughs)

Mark Normand 22:28 A lot of pharma, a lot of ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:30 (laughs)

Mark Normand 22:30 A lot of drugs.

Shane Gillis 22:31 They do celebrate it.

Joe Rogan 22:32 They'll kill illness to celebrate it.

Shane Gillis 22:32 No wonder there are so many homeless people.

Joe Rogan 22:33 (laughs)

Mark Normand 22:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:33 We made it seem cool. But what percentage of celebrities come out of America worldwide? It's a fucking ... Gotta be a giant number.

Shane Gillis 22:39 Yeah.

Mark Normand 22:40 And if they don't, they come here. Like all the Canadian-

Joe Rogan 22:42 Oh, yeah.

Mark Normand 22:42 ... funny people come here.

Shane Gillis 22:43 There's, like, three Chinese stars that ever got known here.

Mark Normand 22:46 Well, the K-pop is huge.

Shane Gillis 22:47 K-pop.

Joe Rogan 22:47 Yeah, they're huge over there. But, like, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee.

Shane Gillis 22:50 Jackie Chan, exactly.

Joe Rogan 22:51 Who else?

Shane Gillis 22:52 It's the ... I don't know. The Ch-

Joe Rogan 22:54 Yao Ming.

Mark Normand 22:54 Jet Li.

Joe Rogan 22:54 Dr. Ken.

Shane Gillis 22:55 Yao Ming.

Joe Rogan 22:56 Who, who else?

Shane Gillis 22:56 Dr. Ken. No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:59 (laughs)

Mark Normand 22:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:59 (laughs)

Mark Normand 22:59 The pandas. They're all China.

Joe Rogan 23:01 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 23:01 Pandas.

Joe Rogan 23:01 Pand- Bobby Lee. (laughs)

Mark Normand 23:03 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 23:03 Uh, who else?

Joe Rogan 23:04 (laughs)

Mark Normand 23:04 You know China leases us pandas?

Joe Rogan 23:07 They lease them. No.

Mark Normand 23:07 Those are leased to us. We all know this.

Joe Rogan 23:09 God dammit.

Shane Gillis 23:09 They call those back if they want.

Mark Normand 23:10 Yeah. And if we have a panda on our soil, they get it.

Shane Gillis 23:14 Wow.

Joe Rogan 23:14 Whoa. Look at how it starts. That's how we be able to pet the baby.

Shane Gillis 23:16 That's how it starts.

Joe Rogan 23:17 It gets born?

Shane Gillis 23:17 Then they balloon.

Mark Normand 23:18 Yeah. They got 'em by the balls.

Joe Rogan 23:19 I like that. Interesting.

Mark Normand 23:20 Think we pay them a million a year each.

Joe Rogan 23:21 Wow, interesting. 'Cause they're not gifted, but I wonder-

Mark Normand 23:24 I love pandas.

Joe Rogan 23:24 ... how that really works. After a change in policy in '84, pandas were leased instead of gifted. Interesting. Wow.

Mark Normand 23:31 At least.

Joe Rogan 23:32 Leased. We should fucking kill them. Pandas? Just send a message.

Shane Gillis 23:35 Just send a message.

Joe Rogan 23:35 Kill the pandas and be like, "All right, we're done."

Mark Normand 23:37 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 23:37 Can I get my deposit back?

Joe Rogan 23:38 Yeah. We leased it, but it's damaged.

Shane Gillis 23:40 (laughs)

Mark Normand 23:40 We're not paying the deposit.

Shane Gillis 23:41 Bring out our bamboo.

Joe Rogan 23:41 You guys wanna get my kids hooked on TikTok? I'll show you what the fuck I do to pandas. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 23:45 I'm gonna fuck these pandas up.

Mark Normand 23:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 23:46 Boom, right in the face. (laughs) Yeah.

Mark Normand 23:48 We got one hostage.

Shane Gillis 23:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:49 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 23:50 They fucked up giving us control-

Joe Rogan 23:51 Yeah. If there's an animal that represents America, it's funny that it's an eagle. Mm. 'Cause eagles are ... It's kind of a fucking- Dirty. ... soulless, evil creature.

Shane Gillis 24:00 Yeah, yeah.

Mark Normand 24:00 I like that though.

Joe Rogan 24:00 That likes to, you know, eat dead fish. Yeah, dead behind the eye.

Shane Gillis 24:02 You ever seen an eagle look straight on?

Joe Rogan 24:05 ... in the eyes?

Shane Gillis 24:06 They're just, like, straightforward. They're just dorks. They don't look regal at all.

Joe Rogan 24:09 Really?

Shane Gillis 24:09 They look like idiots.

Joe Rogan 24:09 They're flying reptiles.

Shane Gillis 24:11 Boo.

24:11 Franklin was right, dude. We should've had the turkey.

Joe Rogan 24:13 Turkey?

Shane Gillis 24:13 He wanted the- he wanted the turkey.

Joe Rogan 24:14 Is that right?

Shane Gillis 24:14 Yeah, and they're everywhere.

24:15 That would've been sick.

Joe Rogan 24:16 Didn't it used to be a dog? I think, uh, at one point in time it was the dog. It was like a pit bull.

Shane Gillis 24:21 That would've been awesome. That makes more sense.

24:22 That's so cool.

Joe Rogan 24:23 I think it was a pit bull.

Shane Gillis 24:24 A pit bull would have been awesome. Pit bull would've been really sick.

Joe Rogan 24:25 Wasn't... Is that true, that America's-

Shane Gillis 24:27 No way.

Joe Rogan 24:27 ... uh, national animal was a pit bull at one point in time?

Shane Gillis 24:30 I don't think so.

24:30 (laughs) It's just the rapper.

Joe Rogan 24:31 I feel like there's... (laughs)

Shane Gillis 24:32 (laughs)

24:32 Yeah. It was just in Harlem.

24:34 (laughs) Yeah. It depends where.

Joe Rogan 24:35 Yeah. (clears throat) That guy goes down some conspiracy rabbit holes. You ever hear of Pit Bull?

Shane Gillis 24:40 No.

Joe Rogan 24:41 Yeah. He goes down some conspiracy rabbit holes. Those dudes that grew up in Cuba, the guys-

Shane Gillis 24:46 Oh, wild.

Joe Rogan 24:46 ... that come from Cuba, they don't wanna hear any fucking socialism bullshit.

Shane Gillis 24:49 Yeah.

24:49 No.

Joe Rogan 24:49 Shut the fuck up.

Shane Gillis 24:50 Like, we had it real.

Joe Rogan 24:51 All this... Yeah. All those people that came out of those, like, Eastern Bloc countries that have experienced, like, actual real communism, like-

Shane Gillis 24:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:57 Shut the f-... Like, you talk to Kristina Pizitzky about it, she's like, "Shut the fuck up." Like, like, people whose family came from that part of the world-

Shane Gillis 25:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:06 ... where communism was real and it ruined everything and killed everybody, they're like, "Hey, you fucking idiots, you have no idea what you're calling for, what you're asking for, and what the history of this is, worldwide."

Shane Gillis 25:16 Yeah.

25:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:17 Like, zero success stories.

Shane Gillis 25:19 (laughs)

25:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:20 You have zero. They're all convinced they're gonna do it right.

Shane Gillis 25:23 Not only not a success story, but, like, horrific.

Joe Rogan 25:25 Horrific.

Shane Gillis 25:25 Horror.

25:26 The worst things possible.

Joe Rogan 25:27 Yeah, starved to death.

Shane Gillis 25:29 Ew.

Joe Rogan 25:29 Like, people eating their children in Russia.

Shane Gillis 25:30 No accountability. The government elects the government.

25:33 Mm-hmm. It's my favorite part of Chernobyl-

Joe Rogan 25:36 What?

Shane Gillis 25:36 ... is when they're like... I loved how, like, the Soviet Union handled, like, disasters. And, like, there's a guy... They bring all the people in the town in, and this guy's like, "Look, everything's under control." Then one guy in the town's like, "Why is the air glowing?" And they're like, "Get him the fuck outta here." (laughs)

25:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:50 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 25:50 The guy's like, "Everything's fine." Bluh.

25:52 Throws up blood.

Shane Gillis 25:53 What is going on in East Palestine right now?

25:55 I think we might be getting hit with it.

Joe Rogan 25:56 Yeah, I mean, that...

Shane Gillis 25:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:57 Do you see the videos of people throwing rocks into the water just to see-

Shane Gillis 26:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:01 ... the oil slicks that pool up?

Shane Gillis 26:02 Yeah.

26:02 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 26:03 'Cause they're saying that, you know, it only went a c- a certain distance away from the actual spill site.

Shane Gillis 26:08 The company said that.

Joe Rogan 26:08 But people are way far away, and they're s- experiencing dead animals, dead birds, dead pets. And then people are throwing rocks into rivers, and you see these big, huge, like, s- chemical circles where the, where the water gets disturbed.

Shane Gillis 26:24 Yeah.

26:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:24 Like, it just, like... Oil slicks. It looks really fucking sketchy. Dead fish everywhere.

Shane Gillis 26:30 I think Pete's got it.

Joe Rogan 26:32 Yeah, Mayor Pete's doing a good job.

Shane Gillis 26:35 People are just bitches.

26:35 Who do you think Mayor Pete is, huh?

Joe Rogan 26:35 Well, he's definitely the most qualified job... guy for the job, so...

Shane Gillis 26:38 (laughs)

26:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:39 I mean, he's definitely, uh, not there for any other reason other than he's amazing, so...

Shane Gillis 26:43 Is there... Yeah. (laughs)

26:44 Are you alluding to something here?

Joe Rogan 26:45 I'm just saying he's amazing. He's amazing, and he's doing a great job.

Shane Gillis 26:49 Great job.

Joe Rogan 26:50 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 26:50 Is there a part of you, Ari, as a Jew, that's like, "Yeah, fuck Palestine"?

26:53 Because... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:54 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 26:55 (laughs)

26:56 Dude, legit a little bit. When I started reading that story-

26:58 Yeah.

26:58 ... I was like, "Wait, what?"

26:59 Here we go.

Joe Rogan 27:00 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 27:00 (laughs)

27:00 Yeah, right away your hackles are up, like...

Joe Rogan 27:02 Hmm.

Shane Gillis 27:02 Like, oil spill? Who gave the Palestinians oil?

27:04 And a bunch of trains broke.

27:06 (laughs)

27:06 Oh, yeah. You guys hate fucking trains, dude.

27:08 We hate trains.

Joe Rogan 27:09 Yeah. Good call.

Shane Gillis 27:11 Yeah. Sabotaging trains. There's gotta be a-

Joe Rogan 27:13 They keep... Every fucking day, there's, like, some new explosion in a factory now.

Shane Gillis 27:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:17 It's like, am I just noticing it? Is it the effect of, like-

Shane Gillis 27:20 I think-

Joe Rogan 27:20 ... the news is just showing it to me-

Shane Gillis 27:21 Global nod.

27:21 Think it's-

Joe Rogan 27:21 ... 'cause these things happen all the time?

Shane Gillis 27:22 I think global warming.

27:24 But Jamie hit me with a w-... Jamie, tell me that... say that weird one you said.

Joe Rogan 27:27 Man.

Shane Gillis 27:28 That was bothering me.

Narrator 27:28 Oak Ridge.

Shane Gillis 27:30 Oak Ridge?

27:30 The Oak Ridge boys?

Narrator 27:31 Uranium plant on fire right now, today. It says no injuries, but...

Shane Gillis 27:36 Uranium fire.

Narrator 27:37 The uranium fire doesn't sound good at all.

Shane Gillis 27:39 Holy shit. So, uh, what's-his-name told me a weird one last night. He was like, the two, the main food sources in the entire world is Ukraine and the, the Midwest.

27:45 Really?

27:46 He's like, "Now there's a chemical fucking spill in the Midwest."

Joe Rogan 27:49 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 27:49 Sometimes when I see a lot of stories about the same thing, chemical spill, nuclear stuff, it's like, oh, I, I feel like they're prepping us for some level of, like, "Hey, we're gonna change the laws on this."

27:58 Hmm.

27:58 "And we're just getting everybody ready." Like gun control, they start-

Joe Rogan 28:00 That's what's scary, right?

Shane Gillis 28:01 ... pushing every shooting at a Seattle bar. They start telling you about all of them.

28:04 Interesting.

28:05 And you're like, "Oh, they're coming with something."

Joe Rogan 28:07 That could be. It could be something... Well, there's definitely been times in history where they've done things like that, like where they've blown things up on purpose just to-

Shane Gillis 28:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:16 Hitler burnt the Reichstag. Nero burnt Rome.

Shane Gillis 28:18 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:19 Like, they do, they do false flags to get people to, like, panic, and then they create new laws to clamp down on them.

Shane Gillis 28:25 I-

Joe Rogan 28:25 That's a real, like, standard practice that dictators use.

Shane Gillis 28:29 Yeah. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 28:30 But they would never use that here in America.

Shane Gillis 28:32 All right.

28:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:33 We're better.

Shane Gillis 28:34 (laughs)

28:36 Freedom of speech.

28:36 We're human.

Narrator 28:36 Beautiful.

Shane Gillis 28:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:37 That's like, why all the fucking checks and balances are in place in the way the government is run. Like, to, to prevent that kind of shit from happening 'cause it happens everywhere people get into power. So you have to have it. Like, people are like, "Well, if the Republicans can control the House..." Like, no, there has to be fighting. Everybody has to fight. If they're not fighting, they would be... It would be way worse.

Shane Gillis 28:56 Take control.

28:56 Off control.

Joe Rogan 28:56 If they were all in agreement on everything-

Shane Gillis 28:58 Ah.

Joe Rogan 28:58 ... it would be fucking terrible for all of us. 'Cause they would all eventually pass laws that would give them more and more power.

Shane Gillis 29:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:06 It would be worse.

Shane Gillis 29:06 Well, that was the point of the Second Amendment-

Joe Rogan 29:08 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 29:08 ... was just, hey, we need the guns in case the government comes at us.

29:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:11 It's funny that people don't wanna believe that. Dude, just pay attention to the rest of the world whenever something happens and people have to be locked in their homes. Like, they comply. People comply-

Shane Gillis 29:21 Oh.

Joe Rogan 29:21 ... everywhere else but here.

Shane Gillis 29:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:23 Over here, they're like, "Yeah."

Shane Gillis 29:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:24 "I don't like you telling me what to do."

Shane Gillis 29:25 "Go to the beach."

29:27 Yeah.

Narrator 29:27 Brush your teeth.

Joe Rogan 29:27 Yeah. "Why can't I get in the ocean?" Shut the fuck up. You don't... You can't tell me what to do. This is crazy.

Shane Gillis 29:33 Isn't it from sea to shining sea?

Joe Rogan 29:35 Hmm.

Shane Gillis 29:36 Yeah.

29:36 Spilling across the sea.

Joe Rogan 29:38 Fuck.

Shane Gillis 29:38 What about mountains? Yeah, they sanded over all the skate parks during COVID, the basketball t-

Joe Rogan 29:42 Remember that shit?

Shane Gillis 29:42 That was wild.

29:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:43 Poured sand in the skate parks.

Shane Gillis 29:43 Oh, yeah, they took down all the, all the nets.

29:45 So sad.

29:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:46 But it's just so bizarre-

Shane Gillis 29:48 It's a weird message.

Joe Rogan 29:48 ... how quickly everything's shifted.

Shane Gillis 29:50 Bob Lazar.

29:50 Bob Lazar.

29:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:52 How bizar-

Shane Gillis 29:52 Bob Lazar.

29:53 Bob Lazar.

Joe Rogan 29:54 B- someone should make a song about that.

Shane Gillis 29:57 (laughs)

29:57 (laughs)

29:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:57 Have you ever watched that guy talk? What do you think?

Shane Gillis 29:59 Bob Lazar?

Joe Rogan 30:00 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 30:00 Yeah, I've seen him.

Joe Rogan 30:01 What do you think?

Shane Gillis 30:03 ... I don't know, when he says he saw that alien that one time, that kinda bothered me. But other than that-

Joe Rogan 30:07 He didn't say he saw an alien.

Shane Gillis 30:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:08 He said he saw something that was in a chair and then these men were facing it. It was smaller than them, than them.

Shane Gillis 30:14 I think, I think he seems like he's telling the truth now.

Joe Rogan 30:15 He said...

Mark Normand 30:15 Sounds like an illegal.

Narrator 30:16 Yeah, he... A Mexican, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:17 The way he's described it is like he was...

Mark Normand 30:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:18 It could've been a doll. I don't know what it was. It could've been they were trying to figure out what size these things are.

Shane Gillis 30:24 (laughs) This guy's fucking with dolls.

Joe Rogan 30:24 He goes, "I'm literally walking by looking at something in a 12 by 8 window."

Narrator 30:30 It happens.

Joe Rogan 30:30 You know?

Mark Normand 30:31 I don't know, we shouldn't talk about it until something happens.

Joe Rogan 30:33 Right.

Mark Normand 30:33 It feels like just a lot of-

Narrator 30:34 Lot of jerking off.

Mark Normand 30:35 ... shit chat. A lot of jerking.

Narrator 30:36 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 30:36 I got the police called on me on New Year's. We do this Ecuador thing where you take an effigy, like s- put it like straw and like a shirt and jeans and you light it on fire and jump over it.

Joe Rogan 30:43 Wait, what?

Mark Normand 30:44 What?

Shane Gillis 30:44 Yeah. We were doing ... it's just an Ecuadorian tradition. We were doing that-

Mark Normand 30:47 You're gonna ruin the party.

Joe Rogan 30:47 Were you in Ecuador when this happened?

Shane Gillis 30:48 No, we were in Staten Island.

Joe Rogan 30:49 Oh, you're the...

Shane Gillis 30:50 Yeah, yeah. We-

Joe Rogan 30:50 I see.

Mark Normand 30:50 That island shit.

Joe Rogan 30:50 He's trying to be international. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 30:52 They called the cops on us. They were like, they were like-

Narrator 30:54 Do you hike that thing?

Shane Gillis 30:54 ... "We gotta report somebody's burning a body alive."

Joe Rogan 30:56 Oh, ho. (laughs)

Mark Normand 30:57 (laughs)

Narrator 30:57 Whoa.

Shane Gillis 30:57 We're like, "It's this body-sized thing that's on fire."

Mark Normand 30:59 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 30:59 With a fucking hat on it.

Mark Normand 31:00 On Staten Island? That's par for the course.

Joe Rogan 31:02 That's, that's what they used to do at Bohemian Grove.

Shane Gillis 31:04 What?

Joe Rogan 31:04 When they would go to Molech the Owl God...

Shane Gillis 31:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:06 ... when all the fucking elites like fucking Nixon and Ford and Reagan, they would go to this, uh, Bohemian Grove. And one of the things they would do is they would burn this effigy-

Shane Gillis 31:15 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 31:15 ... that was supposed to represent a body. They were all dressed like dr- druids and shit in front of... there's video of it.

Mark Normand 31:21 Is it-

Joe Rogan 31:21 Alex Jones got video footage.

Mark Normand 31:22 Pull it up.

Shane Gillis 31:22 Didn't Nixon call it gay?

Joe Rogan 31:24 He said it's the faggiest thing he's ever seen.

Mark Normand 31:26 (laughs)

Narrator 31:26 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 31:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:26 He was talking about how the people behaved there and i- apparently, these guys would go there and just fuck each other.

Shane Gillis 31:31 Yeah.

Mark Normand 31:32 Tricky dick.

Narrator 31:32 All blows down to that.

Joe Rogan 31:33 And it was in northern California, which is, you know-

Mark Normand 31:36 What?

Joe Rogan 31:36 ... there's a lot of g- g- gay folk up in that u- region of the world.

Shane Gillis 31:40 Yeah.

Mark Normand 31:40 Sure.

Joe Rogan 31:40 And so, this place was their spot where all these elites would go and they would party.

Shane Gillis 31:46 That's so great.

Mark Normand 31:46 And th- would they fuck each other up?

Joe Rogan 31:47 That's what Bohemian Grove was.

Shane Gillis 31:48 They'd pan up like gold.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Yeah, pull up Nixon's, uh-

Mark Normand 31:50 Please.

Joe Rogan 31:50 ... account of Bohemian Grove. Where's the, uh, lighter? Who's got the lighter?

Narrator 31:53 ( burps )

Mark Normand 31:54 Ari? Nixon's, uh, phone calls are fun too. A lot of N-word.

Shane Gillis 31:59 Really?

Joe Rogan 31:59 Oh.

Mark Normand 32:00 Oh, it's full of Michael Richards.

Shane Gillis 32:01 Wow.

Joe Rogan 32:02 (laughs) There it is. So he's talking about it.

Mark Normand 32:05 Oh, boy.

Shane Gillis 32:06 Nixon tape discusses homosexuals, but they were good.

Joe Rogan 32:08 Let's, let's, let's look at northern California. You understand. Yep. You know what's happening in San Francisco at this time. It's clear on this side of town, but it isn't, this is just not a random part of town. Now, for the upper class in San Francisco is that way. Now, Bohemian Grove that I attend from time to time, the Easters and the others would come there, but it is the most fagged goddamned place.

Narrator 32:31 (laughs)

Mark Normand 32:33 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 32:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:33 (laughs)

Narrator 32:33 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 32:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:34 That San Francisco crowd goes there. It's just terrible.

Shane Gillis 32:37 It's just terrible.

Narrator 32:37 (laughs)

Mark Normand 32:37 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 32:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:38 I mean, they shake, don't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco.

Mark Normand 32:41 Oh.

Narrator 32:42 Oh.

Mark Normand 32:42 Jesus.

Shane Gillis 32:43 I mean, I won't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco.

Narrator 32:45 Sounds like my dad.

Joe Rogan 32:46 But that, that place that they would go to, they would all dress up like they were druids. There's video footage of it.

Shane Gillis 32:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:53 It's the craziest thing ever.

Mark Normand 32:54 Can we see it?

Joe Rogan 32:55 Yeah, yeah.

Mark Normand 32:55 I'd love to see this footage.

Narrator 32:56 Never seen it. No.

Shane Gillis 32:57 Very weird.

Joe Rogan 32:58 Jon Ronson, Jon Ronson and Alex Jones snuck in, in like-

Mark Normand 33:01 What?

Joe Rogan 33:01 ... yeah, yeah. It was like 2000.

Shane Gillis 33:03 They sucked their way in.

Joe Rogan 33:03 It was a long ass time ago.

Shane Gillis 33:05 (laughs) Prove it.

Joe Rogan 33:06 Fucking sucked their way in.

Mark Normand 33:07 What?

Joe Rogan 33:07 So this is what, this is what it looks like. There's a giant owl god statue, and they burn this effigy in front of the giant owl god that's supposed to be-

Mark Normand 33:15 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 33:15 ... representative of a sacrifice-

Shane Gillis 33:17 Is this the original Burning Man?

Joe Rogan 33:18 ... as a person.

Shane Gillis 33:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:20 (laughs)

Mark Normand 33:20 I mean, just go to Epsteins Island at this point. At least you get laid.

Shane Gillis 33:22 Yeah. Just take a flight.

Mark Normand 33:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:24 Prominent more-

Shane Gillis 33:24 Just get laid.

Joe Rogan 33:25 It couldn't just be these two places. There's probably, there's probably a shit load of those places we don't know about yet.

Mark Normand 33:30 Oh, yeah.

Shane Gillis 33:30 The Eyes Wide Shut places?

Mark Normand 33:31 Definitely.

Shane Gillis 33:31 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:32 Yeah, I mean, when did we learn about Epsteins Island? I found out... I, I heard about it like-

Shane Gillis 33:35 Four years ago?

Joe Rogan 33:35 ... I heard about it from Alex Jones.

Mark Normand 33:37 Is it-

Joe Rogan 33:37 10 years ago.

Mark Normand 33:38 Beautiful island.

Joe Rogan 33:38 A long time ago. And I thought, "Th- that's the craziest thing I've ever heard."

Shane Gillis 33:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:41 There's a place where they take politicians and movie stars and they compromise them with underage girls. Really?

Mark Normand 33:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:47 An island? There's a whole... Somebody owns an island?

Shane Gillis 33:50 Have you ever bothered, they talking about that, talk, talked about that?

Joe Rogan 33:51 No.

Shane Gillis 33:51 So he got an invite, party early on.

Joe Rogan 33:53 Oh.

Shane Gillis 33:53 Like in standup and they were just like, it was somebody's house in the, in the hills and it was like all the top level celebrities, like Leo and like everyone like that.

Mark Normand 34:01 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 34:02 And then some guy was like, "Do you wanna go in?" He goes, "No, 'cause if they ask me to get in the tub with them, I'm going to."

Joe Rogan 34:08 (laughs)

Mark Normand 34:09 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 34:09 I don't wanna go down this road.

Joe Rogan 34:10 Jeffrey Epstein was accused of sef trafficking, sex trafficking young girls on his mysterious private island. Over 40 years ago, a different millionaire escaped justice in a stunningly similar case.

Mark Normand 34:20 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 34:20 It's probably how they've always done it.

Mark Normand 34:22 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:22 If you just think about it-

Shane Gillis 34:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:24 ... if you wanna get these world leaders on your side-

Mark Normand 34:26 He's gonna ruin everything for them.

Joe Rogan 34:26 ... the best way is to compromise them. Have a bunch of dirt on them.

Shane Gillis 34:29 Yeah.

Mark Normand 34:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:30 And then getting in that sex-

Shane Gillis 34:31 It's Vegas does that, right? Videotapes fucking senators and like getting hookers.

Joe Rogan 34:35 Do they? Vegas does that?

Shane Gillis 34:35 In the rooms and then it's like, "We have you," when it was with the old mob.

Joe Rogan 34:38 Oh, the mob Vegas. Yeah, of course.

Mark Normand 34:39 Oh, I gotta stop playing Vegas.

Joe Rogan 34:40 Of course. The old, the old Vegas.

Mark Normand 34:42 That's terrifying.

Shane Gillis 34:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:42 Back when they were running it dirty.

Shane Gillis 34:44 Running it.

Mark Normand 34:44 But yeah, cameras and the internet. Cellphone cameras ruined a lot of fun.

Shane Gillis 34:47 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 34:47 Mm-hmm.

Mark Normand 34:48 And, you know, the internet with the...

Joe Rogan 34:49 Yeah, I think about it every time I whack off.

Mark Normand 34:51 What do you mean?

Shane Gillis 34:52 Someone's watching, watching you.

Joe Rogan 34:52 Man, if this camera catches my fat face going...

Narrator 34:55 I always feel like somebody's watching me.

Shane Gillis 34:55 It could ruin you with that face. (laughs)

Mark Normand 34:58 Yeah. And it knows what you're Googling too.

Shane Gillis 35:00 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:01 How long-

Shane Gillis 35:01 Don't even go privacy.

Joe Rogan 35:01 How long before there's zero privacy? How long before anyone could look at anybody's phone and all information just as... they can't stop it.

Mark Normand 35:08 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 35:08 10 years?

Joe Rogan 35:09 Technology has just reached this point where all data and all numbers just available to everybody at every time.

Shane Gillis 35:15 Privacy's not expected. Yeah.

Mark Normand 35:15 I'd hate for this to get out.

Joe Rogan 35:16 No privacy. Everybody knows where you're gonna be. You can't lie.

Shane Gillis 35:19 Could happen. Yeah, who are you?

Joe Rogan 35:20 Can't avoid people, "Oh, so sorry, my mother-in-law's in town."

Shane Gillis 35:24 Really? I see her, I see her pin and your pin.

Joe Rogan 35:26 "Gotta go."

Mark Normand 35:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:27 "Gotta go." (laughs)

Narrator 35:27 (laughs)

Mark Normand 35:27 My Google Glasses say you're lying.

Shane Gillis 35:29 (laughs)

Mark Normand 35:29 You'll be able to see their temperature and shit go up.

Shane Gillis 35:31 Registers.

Joe Rogan 35:32 Yeah.

Mark Normand 35:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:33 You know, some people, uh, when they're in relationships, they'll turn their location services on-

Mark Normand 35:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:37 ... so their, uh, their significant other can track them wherever they are.

Shane Gillis 35:40 Yeah, I have friends that do that.

Narrator 35:41 (inhales)

Joe Rogan 35:41 Really?

Narrator 35:42 Yeah. I was like, "Dude, you gotta never... You gotta stop."

Mark Normand 35:45 That's terrifying.

Shane Gillis 35:46 The owner of the, um, Omaha Funny Bone does that with her kids. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:50 Well, there's one thing with your kids.

Narrator 35:53 I guess. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 35:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:53 But when, when you're doing it with your wife or you're doing it with your... or, you know, it just seems crazy.

Shane Gillis 35:59 Well, it's just such a lack of trust.

Joe Rogan 36:00 It seems like... Yeah, it's just very weird. You're, you're following-

Shane Gillis 36:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:03 ... where they are all the time.

Shane Gillis 36:04 That would make me not wanna be with someone.

Narrator 36:06 It's a mid-level.

Shane Gillis 36:06 If they were like, "What are you doing? Where are you?"

Mark Normand 36:08 ... yeah. (glasses clinking) Well, this isn't fun.

36:10 No.

36:10 People just fucking clinging onto me.

Joe Rogan 36:11 Some people want... Some people want that kind of relationship.

Mark Normand 36:13 Fucking...

Joe Rogan 36:13 They want someone, like, controlling them.

Mark Normand 36:15 Yeah.

36:16 Mm.

Joe Rogan 36:16 They want a, a parent again. Like, they had a parent, and then they want a parent again.

Mark Normand 36:19 If you put it that way, I kinda like it.

Joe Rogan 36:21 Yeah.

Mark Normand 36:21 (laughs)

36:21 Just a dominating woman?

Joe Rogan 36:22 Yeah, just like-

Mark Normand 36:23 Kind of like getting hung from a limb?

36:23 I clean your room if they're like, "I don't want him playing Xbox."

36:26 Yes.

Joe Rogan 36:26 You want your dick sucked?

Mark Normand 36:27 Then he spanks me, spank my flat ass.

Joe Rogan 36:29 Do you want your dick sucked or not?

Mark Normand 36:30 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:30 Clean your fucking room.

Mark Normand 36:31 Yeah.

36:31 Ooh, I like that.

Joe Rogan 36:32 Mm.

Mark Normand 36:32 Make me suck your high heel. What?

36:34 Yeah (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:36 Ew. Ew, all the fucking things you stepped in.

Mark Normand 36:38 (laughs) Yeah.

36:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:39 Come on, bro. Yuckaroa. The kind of bacterias on that?

Mark Normand 36:42 I do do the old fishhook on the lady, and I'm just thinking about the subway pole and whatnot.

36:46 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 36:46 You fishhook your lady when you're fucking from behind?

Mark Normand 36:47 Do you wash your hands first? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:50 Jesus, fishhook is a weird move.

Mark Normand 36:52 Now, just, like, at dinner and shit. (laughing) I'm gonna order the salmon.

37:00 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:02 Can I get that old flamer?

Mark Normand 37:04 He's got it.

37:05 People are into weird shit.

Joe Rogan 37:06 Oh, yeah, they really are.

Mark Normand 37:08 Choking and-

Joe Rogan 37:09 I'm not good with the dirty talk.

Mark Normand 37:10 I'm afraid I'm in this.

37:11 Hate the dirty talk.

37:11 I've never even tried. Dirty talk's insane.

Joe Rogan 37:13 Not with this voice and like a comedic rhythm.

Mark Normand 37:15 Dirty talk sucks. (laughs)

37:15 I feel like such a loser.

37:16 Three words in me.

37:17 But part of the problem is we're comics-

Joe Rogan 37:19 Yeah.

Mark Normand 37:19 ... so we know how ridiculous it is.

37:20 It's down down.

Joe Rogan 37:20 What are you, a whore? Ugh.

Mark Normand 37:22 Oh, you dirty... Oh, you're a whore? Okay.

Joe Rogan 37:24 You call that a pussy, you fat skank?

Mark Normand 37:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:27 It's no good. Nice pussy, you drunk bitch.

Mark Normand 37:30 Uh-oh.

37:30 Some people, like, put on wigs and they play roles.

37:33 You have a terrible job.

37:35 Uh...

37:35 You're fucking gross. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:36 Some people pretend to be, like, the UPS driver delivering a package.

Mark Normand 37:39 Yeah, that's alarming.

37:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:41 What in the hell are they doing?

Mark Normand 37:42 They put on a little fucking-

37:43 Yeah, UPS driver comes to my place.

37:43 Yeah, and then when you're out of town the actual fucking thing happens. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:47 Oh, no. (laughs)

Mark Normand 37:47 Why'd you use my name as the same guy's...

37:50 Oh.

37:50 Yeah, what the fuck, Tim? Tim is the actual UPS driver.

37:53 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 37:54 No, we're not doing that.

Mark Normand 37:55 You wanna fuck me, Tim, the guy who works Tuesdays?

Joe Rogan 37:56 Come on, it's just fantasy, baby.

Mark Normand 37:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:58 I'm gonna call you Tim.

Mark Normand 38:00 I don't... Yeah, I never... I don't think I've... I've never been with a woman that was into, like, any role playing or anything like, "Here's my fantasy."

38:06 Thank God.

Joe Rogan 38:06 I feel like an idiot.

Mark Normand 38:07 Dirty talker is the worst.

38:08 Yeah, you feel like it's current?

38:10 Uh, not the role playing, but I would feel stupid dressing up as a busboy, like, ugh.

38:14 Oh. Oh, my God, imagine if that was, like, a thing. We have to keep this fresh. Yeah.

38:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:18 Yeah.

Mark Normand 38:18 Lingerie's retarded, like, for sure, a full costume.

38:21 Yes. Very odd. Very odd.

38:22 Uh, I don't mind it. I don't mind it.

38:23 It looks hot.

38:24 Although it doesn't matter-

38:25 They look good.

38:25 ... I think you just take it off right away.

Joe Rogan 38:27 Yeah.

Mark Normand 38:27 Take it off right away.

38:27 Right. Yeah, cool.

38:28 And she has to take it off too.

38:29 I like to role play with my lady having some money.

38:32 I get it. I get it.

Joe Rogan 38:33 That's the role play? That's a weird role. Y- that, that kind of role play, when the lady has all the cash?

Mark Normand 38:39 Mm, that's a good role play.

38:40 Yeah, that's hot.

38:41 "Hey, thanks for paying the rent again."

38:43 Exactly. "Thanks for picking up this check."

38:46 In this wild world. (laughs)

38:46 This is hot.

38:47 Remember when I bought dinner last night? That's fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 38:49 Ah.

Mark Normand 38:50 You can clean it up.

38:51 I was laying... I bought, I, I, we paid for dinner-

38:53 You paid for dinner?

38:53 ... and I was laying in bed last night, and I was like, that's it though, once you pay for dinner, it's, like, literally a five-minute period where people are like, "Thanks."

Joe Rogan 38:59 "Oh, thanks, man, that was pretty cool of you."

Mark Normand 39:00 It means nothing.

39:00 The only good thing is-

39:01 I was like, "I'm just gonna keep bringing it up."

39:02 You don't have to pay for the next one. (laughs)

39:04 The next day, I'm gonna be like, "Man, that was an expensive dinner. That was nice I did that."

Joe Rogan 39:07 The pork chop.

Mark Normand 39:09 But you're good for the next few 'cause you got that one.

Joe Rogan 39:12 Mm.

Mark Normand 39:12 That's the thing you get.

39:13 We'll see. Not with you two cheap fucks.

39:14 (laughs)

39:14 I would've paid for breakfast-

Joe Rogan 39:16 Yeah.

Mark Normand 39:16 ... but this is crazy.

39:17 Well, (laughs) this guy's the Bruce Lee.

39:19 You guys are unbelievable. You're cheap as fuck, dude.

Joe Rogan 39:22 Mark's cheaper than me.

Mark Normand 39:22 Mark's like, "Uh, it's free. I gotta take it. It's free."

39:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:25 Well, I can't waste shit.

Mark Normand 39:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:27 We got a, you know, a little stipend with the old hotel. Thank you. And I got... I'm gonna eat all of it. I'm gonna get shit to go, bring it on the plane.

Mark Normand 39:34 Yeah, it's crazy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:36 I can't let it go.

Mark Normand 39:36 It's crazy. (laughs)

39:37 I get it.

Joe Rogan 39:38 All right.

Mark Normand 39:38 I get it. We're all poor. It stays in your head.

39:39 No, but if there's, like, free green room stuff, he takes it.

39:42 It stays in your head.

Joe Rogan 39:43 We're all poor. It stays in your head.

Mark Normand 39:43 Oh, yeah, I got a pocket full of hotel soap.

Joe Rogan 39:47 (laughs)

Mark Normand 39:47 No, this is not growing up poor.

Joe Rogan 39:49 This is mental illness. (laughs)

Mark Normand 39:50 (laughs)

39:51 Crazy shit.

Joe Rogan 39:52 Hotel soap is where I draw the line.

Mark Normand 39:53 You don't use hotel soap?

39:54 Those little soaps?

Joe Rogan 39:55 Hotel soap? No.

Mark Normand 39:56 What, take it with you?

39:56 No, I'll take hotel soap. I'll, I'll bring my own hotel soap. I bring my own soap.

39:59 You bring your own soap?

40:00 What? Sometimes, yeah.

40:01 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 40:02 Can I have lava?

Mark Normand 40:03 No, defense soap.

40:04 (laughs)

40:04 I, I, I wear a special kind of soap. It's like a, a soap that's designed for grapplers. Keeps you from getting... Smell me.

40:09 Damn.

Joe Rogan 40:10 Smells good.

Mark Normand 40:10 I smell good, right?

40:10 Yeah.

40:10 That makes it smell good.

40:11 Smell hot.

40:12 Tea tree oil, eucalyptus and shit. It's a special kind of soap that, uh, prevents you from getting, like, um, like, uh, you can get, like, staph infections-

40:20 Staph.

40:21 ... and ringworm and shit like that.

40:22 Oh.

40:22 It helps protect you from that.

40:24 Okay. You don't wanna rub away all your natural oils.

40:26 It's just good. It's natural oils. It's like, okay.

40:28 Natural parts. (laughs)

40:29 It's got all kinds of good natural oils. It's a, it's a natural soap.

40:32 New number line.

40:32 Smells good too. I like it.

40:34 Yeah, it does.

40:34 And you know, like, there's certain stuff, like certain soaps, you're getting a lot of perfumes.

40:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:40 Yeah.

Mark Normand 40:40 And you know those perfumes will fuck with your skin. Hotel soap bars that kind of dry your skin out sometimes.

40:44 Big dry, I'm ashy.

40:45 But you take them home?

40:47 Not as ashy as his grandparents, but ass-

Joe Rogan 40:49 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Mark Normand 40:51 He survived it.

Joe Rogan 40:52 Jesus Christ.

Mark Normand 40:52 All right, all right, all right. My uncle, my uncle survived.

40:56 I don't like that talk. Mark, Mark, I don't like that talk, and I'm not a part of it.

40:59 Won't happen again.

Joe Rogan 41:01 It's possible to avoid.

Mark Normand 41:02 I can't believe you just said that.

Joe Rogan 41:03 He can't stop himself.

Mark Normand 41:04 Free Palestine, Ohio.

Joe Rogan 41:05 He can't stop. (laughs) He can't stop himself.

Mark Normand 41:08 Free Palestine.

41:10 (laughs)

41:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:11 I mean, how does this fucking play out? This pal... And, you know, they weren't even giving FEMA money until Trump decided to go down there.

Mark Normand 41:16 No.

41:16 Really?

Joe Rogan 41:17 They're... I'm sure they would say, "That's misinformation and propaganda."

Mark Normand 41:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:20 But they denied them the federal aid.

Mark Normand 41:23 Why?

41:23 I heard there was... There's also the other side where the governor was like, "I'm denying it." I think he's a Republican governor.

41:27 Mm.

41:27 Why would he deny it?

Joe Rogan 41:28 Why?

Mark Normand 41:28 Isn't that true?

41:28 Why do we wanna help the people?

Joe Rogan 41:29 Maybe it's... Maybe we're wrong.

Mark Normand 41:30 We're getting both sides.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Maybe, maybe the reason why is because they want liability from the company and the company to pay for everything.

Mark Normand 41:35 Mm.

Joe Rogan 41:35 Maybe it's that.

Mark Normand 41:36 Mm.

41:37 No, 'cause we don't want, we don't want to pay anything we have to pay for.

Joe Rogan 41:38 Apparently the railroad that they were transporting those chemicals on was not set up for hazardous materials.

Mark Normand 41:45 Yeah. They're trying to cut costs.

41:46 You're peeing already?

41:47 No, it's early.

41:48 Come on, old man.

Joe Rogan 41:49 You really pee? No, it's okay.

Mark Normand 41:50 Let him pee. Go ahead, pee.

41:52 This is bad.

Joe Rogan 41:52 It's okay, buddy.

Mark Normand 41:53 You're getting old, man.

Joe Rogan 41:53 Don't let him fuck with you.

Mark Normand 41:55 I don't wanna be here.

41:55 You got those fresh sunglasses on, man. Be a boss. Go out there and piss.

41:59 You look like a police drawing of a pedophile.

42:02 (laughs)

42:02 Look at this.

Joe Rogan 42:05 (laughs)

Mark Normand 42:05 What do you look like?

42:06 Maybe make it... You hear the noise I made on it? (laughs)

42:09 ... like the Pilsbury.

Shane Gillis 42:10 You're gonna be a pedophile, hmm.

Mark Normand 42:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:12 I'm always just happy when Ahri's going to the actual restroom.

Mark Normand 42:15 I'm always happy when he leaves.

Shane Gillis 42:16 Yeah.

Narrator 42:17 Wow.

Mark Normand 42:17 May I?

Shane Gillis 42:18 Yeah.

Mark Normand 42:18 Keep them coming there, sloppy jalopies.

Shane Gillis 42:20 Keep 'em coming. I think, I think it's, I think this episode, Mark gets fucked up. Mark's-

Narrator 42:23 Yeah, he seems like he's already-

Shane Gillis 42:23 ... under the radar every episode.

Mark Normand 42:25 I'm getting there.

Narrator 42:25 He's already ready to roll.

Shane Gillis 42:26 Yeah, he tossed in a Holocaust joke.

Mark Normand 42:28 Yeah.

Narrator 42:28 We're two drinks in-

Shane Gillis 42:28 I think he's finding out.

Narrator 42:29 ... he's making ashy jokes.

Mark Normand 42:30 Hell yeah. Woo. The Jews had a good r- they had a good time.

Joe Rogan 42:36 (laughs)

Mark Normand 42:36 Like-

Shane Gillis 42:36 On the last flight?

Joe Rogan 42:37 What?

Mark Normand 42:37 Like, I mean, they, the Kanye, I think, people propped up the Jews for a second.

Shane Gillis 42:41 Oh, yeah.

Mark Normand 42:41 His special did well, we had to pretend to like him.

Joe Rogan 42:44 That, it was-

Shane Gillis 42:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:44 ... what a perfect timing for his special.

Mark Normand 42:46 Beautiful.

Shane Gillis 42:46 Yeah, it was great.

Joe Rogan 42:47 I mean, it was like the, like, a cultural moment, like the universe gave him a window.

Shane Gillis 42:51 Yeah.

Narrator 42:52 Whoop.

Mark Normand 42:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:52 Go right here. Go right through.

Mark Normand 42:54 It was like Ronnie Chang with Stop Asian Hate, and that helped him.

Joe Rogan 42:57 And that's e- see, well, he was around before the Stop Asian Hate. He's-

Mark Normand 42:59 But that really.

Joe Rogan 43:00 Did it?

Mark Normand 43:01 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:02 Yeah?

Mark Normand 43:02 He's funny, too.

Joe Rogan 43:03 He is funny.

Shane Gillis 43:04 He's really funny.

Joe Rogan 43:04 He's a very good comic.

Shane Gillis 43:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:06 But he was, he was, uh, before Stop Asian Hate, his big special came out. That was like-

Mark Normand 43:11 That was great.

Joe Rogan 43:12 That was like in, the Netflix special.

Mark Normand 43:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:14 It was like 2016, '17?

Mark Normand 43:16 '17?

Shane Gillis 43:17 Yeah.

Mark Normand 43:17 Yeah.

Narrator 43:18 Cool guy, too.

Mark Normand 43:18 '18?

Joe Rogan 43:18 Great guy.

Shane Gillis 43:19 Good fucking dude.

Mark Normand 43:20 Good egg.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Funny motherfucker.

Shane Gillis 43:22 Yeah. Nice. I like when we do that. It feels weird without Ahri, doesn't it?

Joe Rogan 43:26 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 43:26 It feels good.

Mark Normand 43:26 Oh, I love it.

Joe Rogan 43:28 So less anxiety in the room.

Mark Normand 43:29 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 43:29 Oh, God, when he's fucking hitting you with the let's go hiking, let's fucking...

Joe Rogan 43:32 What do you think that's all about?

Shane Gillis 43:33 I don't think he even likes it. I think he likes saying he likes hiking.

Joe Rogan 43:36 He likes nature.

Mark Normand 43:37 Ah.

Shane Gillis 43:37 Ah, I like what you're saying.

Joe Rogan 43:38 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 43:38 That's what bothers me.

Joe Rogan 43:38 No.

Mark Normand 43:39 I like what he's saying.

Shane Gillis 43:39 That's what annoys me.

Joe Rogan 43:40 I think-

Shane Gillis 43:40 He's like, I gotta leave the country.

Joe Rogan 43:42 ... he might be onto something.

Mark Normand 43:42 He goes to Guatemala.

Shane Gillis 43:42 It's like, you don't like leaving the fucking country. You like saying you left the country.

Joe Rogan 43:45 Oh.

Mark Normand 43:45 (burps)

Shane Gillis 43:46 That's me being an asshole, 'cause Ahri's a very close friend.

Mark Normand 43:49 This is fight words.

Joe Rogan 43:49 That might be, you might be onto something.

Shane Gillis 43:50 (laughs) I'm gonna say it to his face.

Mark Normand 43:51 He goes to China for a year and shit.

Joe Rogan 43:53 There's something about what you're saying, it's resonating with me. It's like getting in a cold plunge, you know? It's like you can only do it for so long-

Shane Gillis 44:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:00 ... but you're pretending you like it.

Mark Normand 44:01 Well, you gotta make it your personality if you cold plunge.

Joe Rogan 44:03 Right.

Mark Normand 44:04 Everybody goes all in.

Shane Gillis 44:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:04 It's like yoga or vegan diets.

Mark Normand 44:06 Yes.

Shane Gillis 44:07 Hey, there's a yoga-

Joe Rogan 44:08 Keep talking about it.

Mark Normand 44:09 We get it, Huberman.

Joe Rogan 44:10 Yeah. What's Trump doing?

Mark Normand 44:11 Uh-oh.

Narrator 44:12 He's, uh, he was at Palestine today.

Shane Gillis 44:13 Hold on.

Joe Rogan 44:14 Of course he was, look at him. Look at all those guys in the background. Who do you think that guy with the mustache is voting for? It ain't Biden and it ain't Hillary Clinton.

Shane Gillis 44:20 Fucking Yosemite Sam.

Joe Rogan 44:20 Look at him. (laughs)

Mark Normand 44:21 It's a costume. It's like a Guess Who character.

Joe Rogan 44:23 Look at that mustache. That guy's got a lot of guns.

Shane Gillis 44:26 Damn, look at all those guys.

Mark Normand 44:27 They all look the same. Even the woman looks the same.

Shane Gillis 44:29 Look at that fucking lunch lady.

Mark Normand 44:30 (laughs)

Narrator 44:31 (laughs)

Mark Normand 44:31 She's got bitter beer face.

Joe Rogan 44:32 What is he saying?

Narrator 44:33 Uh, I just hit finish. I'll go back.

Shane Gillis 44:35 There's their leader.

Mark Normand 44:36 Who's that guy?

Joe Rogan 44:37 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 44:37 It's just the normal dude. Like, our leader, the most handsome man in the world.

Mark Normand 44:41 But Biden made it.

Narrator 44:42 I want to thank those of, uh, you that helped, uh, John Rourke, who's fantastic, Blue Line Moving. Uh, is John here? Uh, hello, John. Good job. Got a lot of trucks coming up with water, right?

Mark Normand 44:54 (laughs)

Narrator 44:56 That's true.

Mark Normand 44:57 A lot of trucks coming up.

Narrator 44:57 You're a fantastic guy. Friend of my son, Don, who's also here. Where is Don? Good job. Did you get him to do that? I think so.

Mark Normand 45:04 I think it was a 95%, uh, voter rate for Trump in Ohio.

Narrator 45:08 He's, he's fantastic. He helps. Thank you very much, John. Appreciate it.

Shane Gillis 45:10 What? Huh?

Narrator 45:11 Uh, Two Fellas Moving Company, and I wanna-

Mark Normand 45:12 That can't be true.

Narrator 45:14 ... thank the people within the Trump Organization-

Joe Rogan 45:14 He's helping, it's a swing state.

Mark Normand 45:16 He's giving shout-outs.

Narrator 45:17 ... that helped us with all of the water we got from all of our different-

Mark Normand 45:20 Palestine.

Shane Gillis 45:20 Oh, okay.

Narrator 45:20 ... different-

Joe Rogan 45:20 He's giving shout-outs to all the people that delivered water.

Shane Gillis 45:22 The new, the, the MAGA hats with the giant font is so fucking funny.

Joe Rogan 45:25 They went even harder.

Shane Gillis 45:26 Dude, when I went to-

Joe Rogan 45:27 They went harder.

Shane Gillis 45:28 I think I told you. Uh, uh, when I was in Mar-a-Lago, every dude there was wearing a flat brim that said M-A-G-A, like a bedazzled MAGA hat.

Joe Rogan 45:36 Oh, my God.

Narrator 45:36 What are they doing, fashion?

Shane Gillis 45:37 It was fucking crazy.

Mark Normand 45:38 They're going in.

Joe Rogan 45:38 What is Mar-a-Lago like?

Shane Gillis 45:40 So sick. (laughs)

Narrator 45:42 (laughs)

Mark Normand 45:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:43 I tried to pretend. I was like, as soon as I got in there, I was like, "Yo, this is it. This is it." (laughs)

Mark Normand 45:47 Really?

Joe Rogan 45:48 Yeah, but-

Mark Normand 45:49 Oh, you get to tour it?

Joe Rogan 45:49 No.

Mark Normand 45:50 Oh.

Joe Rogan 45:50 I got in, somebody I knew there worked-

Mark Normand 45:53 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 45:53 ... with the Trumps.

Shane Gillis 45:55 Wow.

Joe Rogan 45:55 They came to my show and they, they, we got drunk "Do you wanna come to Mar-a-Lago?" I was like, "Yeah." I thought they were full of shit. The next day, they're like, "All right, we'll pick you up."

Mark Normand 46:02 What?

Joe Rogan 46:02 You gotta go past, like, armed guards. They're like, "We gotta get this guy on the list." But yeah, then you get in there and it's a bunch of old billionaires, like dudes.

Narrator 46:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:10 Is it a country club or is it just people in homes?

Shane Gillis 46:11 It's very small. It's very small.

Joe Rogan 46:12 Like a community?

Shane Gillis 46:13 It's very small. There's, like, one spa, there's that big room that they're always in.

Joe Rogan 46:15 And he lives there?

Shane Gillis 46:17 Yeah, he lives in, like, a wing.

Joe Rogan 46:18 Which is so wild.

Shane Gillis 46:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:20 He lives in a, in a place where people can visit.

Shane Gillis 46:22 And then everyone sits in that, like, patio or restaurant area.

Joe Rogan 46:25 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 46:25 And they're like, "He might come out today."

Joe Rogan 46:26 Oh, my God, he might come out today.

Shane Gillis 46:28 And that, that room is hilarious.

Narrator 46:29 That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 46:29 And everybody, look how beautiful it is.

Mark Normand 46:31 Wow.

Shane Gillis 46:32 It's so grand.

Joe Rogan 46:32 It's so grand. That's like-

Shane Gillis 46:33 There's a solid gold Constitution.

Joe Rogan 46:34 ... old rich people money.

Mark Normand 46:36 It's pretty.

Narrator 46:37 Comfortable as fuck.

Joe Rogan 46:37 It's a beautiful place. Welcome to Mar-a-Lago, the crown jewel of Palm Beach.

Mark Normand 46:42 Gotta be a golf course.

Shane Gillis 46:43 No, no golf course.

Joe Rogan 46:44 What?

Mark Normand 46:44 Really?

Joe Rogan 46:45 Palm Beach is close to... Wow, look at that.

Mark Normand 46:46 Wow. I'd bomb there.

Joe Rogan 46:47 Close to West Palm, right?

Shane Gillis 46:49 We should have a show there.

Narrator 46:50 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 46:50 It is, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:50 It is.

Narrator 46:50 I thought the Mellow Mushroom was the Palm Beach.

Joe Rogan 46:51 We should do a show at Mar-a-Lago.

Mark Normand 46:52 That's beautiful.

Joe Rogan 46:54 We were talking about doing Protect Our Parks if Trump would just set us up a studio. (laughs)

Shane Gillis 46:57 Yeah. Doing it down there?

Joe Rogan 46:59 Just don't even say we're there.

Narrator 47:00 He would do it.

Joe Rogan 47:00 Just a bunch of palm trees behind us. (laughs)

Narrator 47:02 Yeah, just, just doing it. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:04 We didn't have to tell anybody we were there.

Shane Gillis 47:06 See a baby being led away for sacrifice.

Joe Rogan 47:08 We just went event- occasionally r- you know, talk about Florida.

Narrator 47:11 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 47:12 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:12 Florida's great.

Narrator 47:13 Dude.

Joe Rogan 47:14 We had a great meal last night. (laughs)

Narrator 47:16 It was-

Joe Rogan 47:16 Where the fuck are you?

Shane Gillis 47:17 It was something about, I forget what it is, he had, like, a giant flag in the front of it, and there was, like, laws saying your flag couldn't be that tall, so he elevated the land.

Joe Rogan 47:25 Whoa.

Shane Gillis 47:26 So he elevated, like, a hill to put the flag on.

Narrator 47:29 Wow.

Mark Normand 47:29 So America's about loopholes.

Joe Rogan 47:30 It's crazy.

Narrator 47:31 Little loophole.

Shane Gillis 47:31 He's a big loophole guy.

Joe Rogan 47:33 Yo.

Mark Normand 47:34 He loves a loophole.

Joe Rogan 47:35 Yeah, you tell him you can't have a flag high. Shut the fuck up.

Narrator 47:38 He's like, so what does...

Shane Gillis 47:39 Yeah.

Narrator 47:39 ... it stick itself?

Joe Rogan 47:40 Is it stopping planes?

Narrator 47:41 Got it. Perfect fit.

Joe Rogan 47:41 Like, what are we doing?

Shane Gillis 47:42 Maybe.

Joe Rogan 47:43 (laughs) No, it's not that big.

Mark Normand 47:43 Is it an eyesore?

Shane Gillis 47:46 Yeah, everyone's-

Joe Rogan 47:46 Eyesore.

Shane Gillis 47:46 I mean, in that area, everyone loves that guy.

Joe Rogan 47:49 Look at it.

Shane Gillis 47:49 Yeah, he had to elevate the ground.

Narrator 47:52 Oh.

Joe Rogan 47:53 Smart move.

Mark Normand 47:54 It is a good move.

Narrator 47:55 It's a good hack.

Shane Gillis 47:57 It was weird, though. It was very uncomfortable.

Joe Rogan 47:59 In what way?

Shane Gillis 48:00 Just seeing rich people-

Narrator 48:01 Too wealthy.

Shane Gillis 48:01 ... weird dudes wearing a MAGA hat.

Joe Rogan 48:04 Weird only MAGA guys.

Narrator 48:05 It's a lot.

Shane Gillis 48:06 With, like, a blazer and, like, a polo.

Joe Rogan 48:08 Oh, that is weird. Yeah.

Mark Normand 48:09 It's a weird combination of, like, formal dress and baseball hat.

Shane Gillis 48:12 And then just a ridiculous-

Narrator 48:13 Yeah.

Mark Normand 48:13 True.

Shane Gillis 48:14 ... a ridiculous hat.

Joe Rogan 48:15 It's very strange.

Mark Normand 48:15 That's Florida.

Joe Rogan 48:15 No one's ever done that before Trump.... like in terms-

Shane Gillis 48:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:18 ... of like a politician, like when he was on-

Shane Gillis 48:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:20 ... television, he had a bad hair day. Just slap on the old MAGA hat.

Shane Gillis 48:23 Yeah.

Narrator 48:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:24 What are you gonna do?

Narrator 48:25 Yeah, you never saw Reagan in a hat.

Joe Rogan 48:26 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 48:26 No.

Joe Rogan 48:27 In a baseball hat?

Shane Gillis 48:28 Uh-uh.

Narrator 48:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:28 If he was in a hat, it'd probably be like a, like a cowboy hat.

Shane Gillis 48:31 Panama hat.

Narrator 48:31 Yes.

Joe Rogan 48:32 Let 'em, let it slide.

Shane Gillis 48:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:33 He'd let it slide.

Shane Gillis 48:33 Pretend to be a cowboy?

Joe Rogan 48:34 Yeah, he's pretending. Like George W.'s dude.

Narrator 48:36 Oh, yeah, love cowboy.

Shane Gillis 48:37 Isn't George W. from Connecticut?

Joe Rogan 48:38 Maine.

Shane Gillis 48:39 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 48:39 They're from Maine.

Narrator 48:40 He's been to Bankport.

Joe Rogan 48:41 They're from fucking Maine. There, Reagan with a cowboy hat.

Narrator 48:44 There's a handsome.

Shane Gillis 48:45 There you go. Yeah, who rocks? Oh, Trump dog.

Narrator 48:47 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 48:47 Trump with a fucking cowboy hat.

Narrator 48:49 Wow, no neck. Hey.

Joe Rogan 48:51 Clinton had a cowboy hat.

Shane Gillis 48:52 They all rock.

Narrator 48:53 That finger stinks.

Shane Gillis 48:56 Hey.

Narrator 48:56 This is just for all their tourists or whatever set.

Shane Gillis 48:57 Yeah.

Narrator 48:58 It's just every time they come to Texas. He's dressed like Tony.

Shane Gillis 49:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:00 I look like you.

Narrator 49:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:01 Reagan. It's funny.

Narrator 49:04 He's got it all there.

Shane Gillis 49:05 I don't know anything.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 49:06 But I've been watching... I o-... Dude, on the plane I was watching the fucking... I've been watching the Ken Burns Vietnam.

Narrator 49:11 Heavy stuff.

Shane Gillis 49:11 God damn, dude. I cried on the plane like a fucking idiot.

Narrator 49:14 Oh, is that why you cried?

Shane Gillis 49:15 Watching a PBS doc.

Narrator 49:16 (laughs) You oughta meet Mark.

Joe Rogan 49:17 Oh, God.

Narrator 49:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:19 Mark, if you're gonna say nasty stuff, don't do it.

Narrator 49:21 I'm sorry. (laughs) That's pretty funny. (laughs) That was a nice ride, though.

Shane Gillis 49:25 I can remember when the Vietnam War ended.

Joe Rogan 49:27 Really?

Narrator 49:28 Really?

Shane Gillis 49:28 Yeah. I was a little kid, I was living in San Francisco, and I remember thinking, "Thank God we're never gonna do war again."

Narrator 49:32 Oh, come on.

Shane Gillis 49:33 Like, "Thank God it's over while I'm a child."

Narrator 49:35 Wow.

Shane Gillis 49:35 I, I remember thinking that.

Narrator 49:36 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 49:36 Like, "Whew. Boy, they glad they figured this out."

Narrator 49:38 That was long. It was nine years?

Shane Gillis 49:40 It was so... Dude, from day one they were like, "We're not gonna win."

Narrator 49:43 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 49:44 From day one.

Narrator 49:44 They just had to be there?

Shane Gillis 49:45 McNamara's in there with LBJ like, "This isn't going... This is never gonna work."

Narrator 49:48 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 49:49 And they just kept doing it.

Narrator 49:50 A lot of heroin out there.

Shane Gillis 49:52 Oh my God. I mean-

Narrator 49:54 Why are they sad? Just sad.

Joe Rogan 49:55 They had to be a part of what was going on.

Shane Gillis 49:57 I was drinking on the plane, and I like-

Narrator 49:59 Story chips.

Shane Gillis 49:59 While watching this, I like drunk texted my uncle who got wounded in Vietnam.

Narrator 50:03 Oh, this is wild.

Shane Gillis 50:03 I was like, "Where'd you get hurt?"

Narrator 50:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:06 Jesus.

Shane Gillis 50:06 It's like a crazy text to send.

Joe Rogan 50:08 Oh my God.

Shane Gillis 50:08 And then he explained how he got hurt, and it was like-

Narrator 50:11 Really?

Shane Gillis 50:11 ... whoa.

Narrator 50:11 I went to the future turtles-

Shane Gillis 50:12 How did he get hurt?

Narrator 50:13 ... and all this.

Shane Gillis 50:13 He was a, he was a-

Narrator 50:14 Stabbed by a kid.

Shane Gillis 50:15 He was a forward observer for his group.

Narrator 50:17 Wow.

Shane Gillis 50:18 It was the battle of... Fuck, I'll find it. But, uh, it was 200 US soldiers surrounded by about 3000 Viet Cong.

Joe Rogan 50:26 (whistles)

Narrator 50:26 Oh my God.

Shane Gillis 50:26 Or RVN. And then, uh, he was the forward observer that was calling in coordinates. So they were all trying to get him. He w-... They got him. (laughs) They hit him with an RPG eventually, but he was, he was the one up front calling in-

Narrator 50:40 RPG?

Shane Gillis 50:40 ... the gunships-

Narrator 50:41 Role playing game?

Shane Gillis 50:41 ... calling the artillery.

Narrator 50:42 Where to go?

Shane Gillis 50:43 And-

Joe Rogan 50:44 Rocket propelled grenade.

Narrator 50:44 Send him to go, go look there-

Shane Gillis 50:45 Oh.

Narrator 50:45 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:45 Thank you.

Narrator 50:46 ... for the fetal.

Shane Gillis 50:46 Yeah.

Narrator 50:46 Wow, like a spotter and crew.

Shane Gillis 50:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:48 Is that him?

Narrator 50:48 There he is. The son, right? I'm just asking.

Joe Rogan 50:50 That's a Gillis.

Shane Gillis 50:51 Uh, Drang Valley incident, 1965.

Narrator 50:54 Uh, I'll tell you right now. Google Gillis Vietnam.

Shane Gillis 50:56 No, his last name's not Gillis.

Narrator 50:58 Ah.

Joe Rogan 51:00 What's crazy is the Vietnamese don't even hate Americans.

Narrator 51:02 No, they hate the Chinese way more. No. Oh, yeah. That shit's all passed them. Who doesn't? They call it the, the American War.

Shane Gillis 51:07 (coughing)

Narrator 51:07 And not the, uh-

Shane Gillis 51:08 It was, uh, the Battle of Hill 102-

Narrator 51:11 Ugh.

Shane Gillis 51:11 ... AKA the Battle of Khe Sanh Valley.

Narrator 51:15 Khe Sanh Valley.

Shane Gillis 51:15 65 Americans killed, 200 Americans surrounded by 2000. But then I was... I'm a little buzzed. I'm asking him fucked up questions.

Narrator 51:24 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 51:24 Like, "What's it like?"

Narrator 51:26 "What's it like," the broadest question.

Joe Rogan 51:27 He said, he said, "What happens is you enter a zone where you just shut down your emotions and focus on what you need to do to survive and protect your men. No time to process feelings. There's enormous chaos, but you are acutely aware of everything. At least that was my experience."

Narrator 51:39 Wow.

Joe Rogan 51:39 He said... This is a wild response.

Shane Gillis 51:41 Yeah, I thought you were-

Joe Rogan 51:42 It's a great response.

Narrator 51:42 You were just gonna say-

Shane Gillis 51:42 He said, "At one point there were waves of NVA running towards us, but my sole focus was to stop them from getting too close with a gunship known as Spooky. I mowed them down (laughs) as they advanced." (laughs)

Narrator 51:52 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 51:52 "Without the relentless stream of fire from Spooky, we would've been overrun."

Narrator 51:55 Thank God for Spooky.

Shane Gillis 51:56 Gunship.

Joe Rogan 51:57 God damn.

Narrator 51:57 Wow. Gunships sang-... fired this area and made it fucking light it up?

Shane Gillis 52:00 So I was talking, he said, "I was the forward observer, so my job was to keep artillery jet strikes and gunship fire raining down on the enemy."

Narrator 52:06 Does he want you reading this on air?

Shane Gillis 52:08 It'll be all right.

Narrator 52:08 All right.

Shane Gillis 52:08 "Thus why they were trying to get through me and take me out, which they eventually did, but I took a lot of them out first." (laughs) I was like-

Narrator 52:14 Holy shit. Jesus.

Joe Rogan 52:15 Holy shit.

Shane Gillis 52:15 I was drinking-

Narrator 52:16 Shit.

Shane Gillis 52:16 ... and watching the documentary on my phone like, "Damn."

Narrator 52:18 Thanks for the plane.

Joe Rogan 52:19 Smoking a joint with that guy on a porch.

Narrator 52:21 Woo. Just starts crying.

Shane Gillis 52:22 He'll tell you. He's... My o- my other uncle was in Vietnam and was like, uh...

Narrator 52:25 It's the gunship. Spooky.

Joe Rogan 52:26 There it is. Spooky.

Shane Gillis 52:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:28 Wow.

Narrator 52:29 Spooky. Got shot down, though, pretty much.

Shane Gillis 52:30 My other uncle was in Vietnam, and he never talks about it.

Joe Rogan 52:32 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 52:33 That guy w- if you ask, he's-

Joe Rogan 52:35 They downed Spooky. Look at that.

Narrator 52:37 Ouch.

Joe Rogan 52:38 1968 February 15th-

Narrator 52:40 Yay.

Joe Rogan 52:40 ... nine killed in downing of Spooky gunship.

Narrator 52:43 To the Spook.

Shane Gillis 52:43 To Spooky.

Narrator 52:44 Spooky.

Joe Rogan 52:45 Cheers.

Narrator 52:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:46 Spooky. Wow.

Narrator 52:48 Ay-yi-yi. Well, at least he still with us.

Joe Rogan 52:49 Yeah but it's like, what a fucked up war that was.

Narrator 52:52 I think Segura's dad was in Nam.

Joe Rogan 52:54 Was he really?

Shane Gillis 52:54 What a terrible fucking dumb war.

Narrator 52:56 (exhales) Silly waste of time.

Joe Rogan 52:57 Not only a dumb war, but a dumb war that was, uh, that came about-

Shane Gillis 53:01 We're not there.

Joe Rogan 53:01 ... because of a false flag.

Shane Gillis 53:03 Tonkin.

Joe Rogan 53:03 Yeah, Gulf of Tonkin. They, they lied about-

Shane Gillis 53:06 Tonkin Truck. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:08 ... an incident to try to get us-

Shane Gillis 53:09 (laughs)

Narrator 53:09 Tonkin.

Joe Rogan 53:09 ... into the war.

Narrator 53:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:11 It's fucking cra-... That's like what we were talking about before with false flag.

Narrator 53:14 Ah, so they wouldn't do it here either, would they?

Joe Rogan 53:15 It really happened.

Narrator 53:16 They did it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:16 They used to do 'em all the time. What'd you say?

Narrator 53:18 You said they wouldn't- But like the Bomb Bay. ... do 'em here. It's like, that's, that's-

Joe Rogan 53:20 Yeah.

Narrator 53:20 ... what they did.

Joe Rogan 53:21 Yeah, they 100% would.

Narrator 53:23 But-

Joe Rogan 53:23 Lesser known fact that Jim Morrison's father-

Narrator 53:25 Ah.

Joe Rogan 53:25 ... Captain George Stephen Morrison com- commanded the carrier division-

Narrator 53:30 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 53:30 ... during the Gulf of Tonkin incident.

Narrator 53:32 Ooh. CIA.

Joe Rogan 53:32 The Gulf of Tonkin incidence- incident famously gave the Johnson administration the justification they needed to escalate the Vietnam War.

Narrator 53:39 JRR Tonkin.

Shane Gillis 53:41 Wow, it's his dad. Imagine that, and your dad becomes Break On Through The Other Side.

Narrator 53:45 (laughs) I know. That's why he went so counter-cultural.

Joe Rogan 53:47 And your son rather becomes that.

Shane Gillis 53:49 Yeah, and he's making music-

Narrator 53:50 Yeah, had to go the other way.

Shane Gillis 53:50 ... they're playing in the fucking helicopters.

Joe Rogan 53:51 Wow. << Day to day, we- >>

Narrator 53:53 Oh, yeah. Great music.

Shane Gillis 53:54 Yeah, it is.

Narrator 53:54 Great '60s music. The '60s were the best music.

Joe Rogan 53:56 Wow.

Shane Gillis 53:56 Yeah, they got the music.

Joe Rogan 53:57 Oh my gosh.

Narrator 53:57 They had a lot of shit to deal with. That was the first time they grew up, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:59 A lot of shit to deal with and a lot of drugs.

Narrator 54:01 Sure.

Joe Rogan 54:02 The, the f-... Like the drop off is so stark, the difference between music and, and automobile design.

Narrator 54:09 Yes.

Joe Rogan 54:09 Like once they illegal- make drugs illegal, like American automobile design turned to dog shit.

Narrator 54:15 Oh, yeah. Interesting.

Joe Rogan 54:16 Straight dog shit.

Narrator 54:17 By about '73, went down.

Joe Rogan 54:18 No it was b- before then. It was literally like-

Narrator 54:21 In the '60s?

Joe Rogan 54:21 ... the 71 model year is the last good year for muscle cars.

Narrator 54:25 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:25 And only for c- only for Barracudas and Challengers. Barracuda. For b- by the time it got to Camaro '71 they were already fucked.

Narrator 54:32 Mustang that came in the '80s became just a dumb hatchback.

Joe Rogan 54:34 Terrible piece of shit car.

Narrator 54:36 Ugh. It wasn't at all muscley.

Joe Rogan 54:37 Yeah, but-... back in the '60s, they were the most magnificent cars of all time.

Shane Gillis 54:41 Yeah. Beautiful.

Joe Rogan 54:41 Like, th- those guys nailed it.

Shane Gillis 54:42 '67 and a half Mustang.

Joe Rogan 54:43 They nailed it. '69. But then, once the, uh, Schedule 1 Drug Act happened in 1970... So you gotta realize, in 1970, they're, they're already making the 1971 model.

Shane Gillis 54:53 Right.

Mark Normand 54:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:53 So you got the 1971, which is, like, the last good year. Everything else is dog shit.

Mark Normand 54:57 But how do you explain Europe? 'Cause Europe cars looked great in the '60s and sucked in the '70s.

Joe Rogan 55:01 Yeah, 'cause-

Mark Normand 55:01 And they didn't have a, a Vietnam.

Joe Rogan 55:03 Well, some of the best Porsches were like '73, '74. They had some amazing Porsches.

Mark Normand 55:08 That's true.

Joe Rogan 55:08 Then the, that little 911 that they made back then, it was so light.

Shane Gillis 55:11 Is that what you got? 911? 2002.

Mark Normand 55:13 I got a Beemer.

Shane Gillis 55:13 No.

Joe Rogan 55:13 He's got that beautiful little Beemer, the 2002.

Shane Gillis 55:16 Oh, right, right. 2002?

Mark Normand 55:16 Pull it up.

Joe Rogan 55:17 Oh my God, it's a great little car.

Mark Normand 55:18 But that's a '73.

Shane Gillis 55:19 Fuck cars.

Mark Normand 55:19 But that's-

Shane Gillis 55:20 Boop.

Mark Normand 55:20 That's the car that saved Beemer.

Joe Rogan 55:22 That's such a zippy little car.

Mark Normand 55:24 Oh, it's a go-kart. It's a little box.

Joe Rogan 55:25 Oh my God, yeah. You're, you're scooting around in, like... It's almost like a, like a smart car, it's so small.

Mark Normand 55:30 Yeah, four, uh, four-cylinder engine. It's so light.

Joe Rogan 55:34 Yeah, that's a great-

Mark Normand 55:35 It's fun.

Joe Rogan 55:35 ... great old car, man. There's a... Someone was gonna do those cars and put, uh, modern, uh, M2 engines in them.

Shane Gillis 55:42 I know we've looked at this.

Mark Normand 55:43 I think we have.

Shane Gillis 55:44 We've definitely looked at it.

55:44 I think every episode. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:46 Look at it, it's a fucking beautiful car.

Shane Gillis 55:46 And then I go-

Mark Normand 55:47 James got one of his own.

Shane Gillis 55:48 And then I go, "I have a Chevy Cruze." And then you go, "Let's get, let's get you a cool car."

Joe Rogan 55:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need a cool car.

Shane Gillis 55:52 And then I go, "Chevy Cruze is cool."

Mark Normand 55:54 Oh, you're right.

Shane Gillis 55:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:55 Yeah, but it's not real.

Shane Gillis 55:56 All right, then what about R. Kelly?

Joe Rogan 55:57 Ah!

Mark Normand 55:58 (laughing)

Shane Gillis 55:58 He bring up R. Kelly.

56:01 We are redundant as fuck.

Mark Normand 56:02 I'll bring up Kanye and cut it out.

Shane Gillis 56:04 Fuck it. Kanye, no, this time we don't have to cut it out, dude.

56:05 Yeah!

Joe Rogan 56:06 He's back.

Shane Gillis 56:06 EA rules.

Joe Rogan 56:07 He's back.

Shane Gillis 56:07 We're with adidas.

Mark Normand 56:08 And we got a Jew here, so we're good.

Shane Gillis 56:10 Yeah, he was fine for, like, two weeks and people were like, "Oh, let's move on."

Joe Rogan 56:12 Can I get that lighter?

Shane Gillis 56:13 Mm-hmm.

Mark Normand 56:13 That's true.

Joe Rogan 56:14 But he's still removed from all social media, isn't he?

Shane Gillis 56:17 He'll be back.

56:17 I think so.

Mark Normand 56:18 He'll be back.

Shane Gillis 56:19 He's post. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:19 Really?

Shane Gillis 56:20 Yeah.

56:21 Right?

56:21 His company's like, "Hey, dude, just chill out for a minute."

Mark Normand 56:23 He seems like a tough hang. You had him on here. Was he kind of a, kind of a nightmare?

Shane Gillis 56:26 That's a fact.

Joe Rogan 56:27 He's, you know, he's mentally ill genius.

Mark Normand 56:30 Sure.

Joe Rogan 56:30 He can s- spew out... He can rant for hours. It's like having a conversation with him, like dial him in to a conversation-

Shane Gillis 56:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:37 ... is like a, a volley. A back and forth volley. It's kind of difficult.

Mark Normand 56:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:42 He just wants to rant.

Shane Gillis 56:43 It doesn't sound like he would just be like, "How's the barbecue here?"

Mark Normand 56:45 Right.

Shane Gillis 56:46 No, he, none of that.

56:46 No. Nothing at all.

56:47 He'll say, "I'm Walt Disney."

56:48 Oh, interesting. (laughs)

Mark Normand 56:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:50 Exactly.

Shane Gillis 56:50 "I'm Ford." "I'm Steve Jobs."

Mark Normand 56:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:52 Yeah, exactly.

Shane Gillis 56:53 You're like, "All right, HIVIISO was pretty good."

56:55 (laughs)

Mark Normand 56:56 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 56:57 Right?

Mark Normand 56:57 Right.

Shane Gillis 56:57 That was pretty awesome.

Mark Normand 56:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:59 All day.

Mark Normand 57:00 Gold Digger, good tune.

Shane Gillis 57:01 Yeah, yeah.

57:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:02 Look, he's got amazing songs.

Shane Gillis 57:03 Black Skinhead is one of the greatest fucking opening beats of any song ever.

Joe Rogan 57:06 But he's... Yeah.

Shane Gillis 57:07 He rules.

Joe Rogan 57:07 That power that allowed him to, like, create that kind of music is also, like, what fucks him up with, like, rants.

Shane Gillis 57:14 Yeah.

Mark Normand 57:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:15 He just winds up saying some things that are not really that thought out.

Mark Normand 57:18 He got that right. What's that like?

Shane Gillis 57:20 (laughs)

57:21 I think he's funny at the way he, like, dances around it.

Joe Rogan 57:24 Do you think, um, like, the, the adidas thing is the wildest shit ever.

Mark Normand 57:28 He'll be back.

Joe Rogan 57:28 That everybody cut ties with him? You think they'll be back with him?

Mark Normand 57:31 Oh, yeah.

Shane Gillis 57:31 Wait, isn't... Jamie, isn't that going on?

57:32 I heard they're already back.

Joe Rogan 57:34 Kanye and adidas are back on.

Mark Normand 57:36 Woo!

Shane Gillis 57:36 According to the internet.

Joe Rogan 57:37 (laughs)

Shane Gillis 57:38 What is, who are you quoting?

Mark Normand 57:39 Source. Who is it? Who gives him the sources?

Joe Rogan 57:40 That's crazy.

Shane Gillis 57:41 There's been rumors online that it's happening or something.

Joe Rogan 57:42 Kanye and adidas partnership could be back on? Is that what you said?

Mark Normand 57:45 He hurts his flat according to the internet.

Shane Gillis 57:46 Yeah. (laughs)

57:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:47 Uh, less than two weeks ago it was revealed the German sportswear label could lose up to $1 billion in revenue as a result of the split, according to the industry and now analysts gauging leftover stock. Rumors are now suggesting that all is not lost between the pair. These rumblings are coming from ardent Yeezy fans wishing for their faves to reunite, not from Ye or adidas themselves.

Shane Gillis 58:09 Oh, fuck that.

58:10 That's not real.

Mark Normand 58:11 Come on.

Shane Gillis 58:11 Also, it's gotta, it's gotta feel good for the Jewish, the Jewish community to be like, "Na-ha."

58:16 What?

58:16 "These Germans are losing a fucking billion dollars."

58:18 (laughs) That's right, that's right.

Joe Rogan 58:19 Yeah.

Shane Gillis 58:19 "You went up the wrong source, we got you in the end."

Joe Rogan 58:21 That's what's crazy, like, he- he