Joe Rogan Experience #1952 - Michael Malice

1. 0:00 – 2:52

   Hitchcock suspense setup & Malice’s Austin love story (twins parade tangent)

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Bro, hey, Michael Malice. How are you, my friend?

   4. MMMichael Malice0:14

      I am doing outstanding.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Always good to see you.

   6. MMMichael Malice0:17

      No one's ever said that to me before.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      I love you.

   8. MMMichael Malice0:20

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      Come on, man. That's not true.

   10. MMMichael Malice0:21

       No one's ever said the either.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       I think I've said it. I think I've said it. You know I love you. What's in the box, man? What's in the box?

   12. MMMichael Malice0:28

       So Alfred Hitchcock-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Yeah.

   14. MMMichael Malice0:30

       ... great film director-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       Love Alfred Hitchcock. It's one of his-

   16. MMMichael Malice0:32

       ... made this comment about the difference between surprise and suspense, right?

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       Yes.

   18. MMMichael Malice0:37

       So surprise is a bomb goes off, there's five seconds of surprise. People are like, "Okay, what happened?" Suspense is when the audience knows something that the characters don't. So you have Cary Grant drinking tea with his girlfriend, and there's a bomb under the table. And for 10 minutes, they're just perfectly calm, and there's a bomb. So you are a lot nicer to your audience than I am, which is probably why you're a lot more popular than I am. So can we wait, like, a five minutes before we show what's in the box?

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       Sure. Sure. We can wait an hour. I don't give a fuck.

   20. MMMichael Malice1:06

       Okay. (laughs) We have a fun surprise in the box.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       We got all day.

   22. MMMichael Malice1:09

       Uh, th- this is from one of the many friends I've met here in Austin, and every opportunity I have to talk about how much I love Austin, I will absolutely fucking take. Um, I am so giddy to be here. I'll tell you this story. A couple of my friends just came to visit. I've known them since high school, uh, Andrea and Annette, and they reminded me of this story that they had done when they were in their 30s, old enough to know better. So there's a city in Ohio called Twinsburg. Have you heard of this?

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:39

       No.

   24. MMMichael Malice1:39

       So Twinsburg every year has twin parades, and you can go when you're twins and march in the parades and hang out with other twins. Andrea and Annette, who are unrelated, and, uh, don't look alike at all, decided, "You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna just go and pass off as (laughs) identical twins, even though you can go there as fraternal twins." There may have been some fake birth certificates involved. I can't say, uh, that for legal reasons.

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:05

       You have to show birth certificates to get in the parade?

   26. MMMichael Malice2:07

       Well, if you're gonna march as identical twins and register as them, you have to show birth certificates. Now, mind you, they could've gone for free, but they decided (laughs) to pay the money to go as identical twins. So they got the same haircuts, dressed the same.

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       (laughs)

   28. MMMichael Malice2:21

       Uh, they took part in medical research. So if you still have cancer, it's 'cause of them. And they ended up marching in the identical twin parade with all the, uh, Black people for some reason.

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:32

       Okay.

   30. MMMichael Malice2:33

       So it's just-
2. 2:52 – 4:28

   Travel restrictions, vaccines, and Austin as a new cultural hub

   1. MMMichael Malice2:52

      Yeah, and mine too. Her husband Jaron's gonna be staying with me in two weeks while he checks out the updates. So it's, it's Deborah So is gonna be here visiting in May.

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:59

      Oh, is she really?

   3. MMMichael Malice3:00

      Yes.

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:00

      She's escaped from Canada?

   5. MMMichael Malice3:01

      She's escaping from Canada.

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:02

      And do they let her come over here?

   7. MMMichael Malice3:04

      In- in ... She'll be h- able to be here in May.

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:06

      So right now, you can't fly in unless you're vaccinated, correct?

   9. MMMichael Malice3:09

      I think America's the only country where-

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:11

       Yeah.

   11. MMMichael Malice3:12

       ... that is the situation. Uh-

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:14

       Protecting us, Michael.

   13. MMMichael Malice3:16

       It's, it, it's-

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:16

       Keeping us protected.

   15. MMMichael Malice3:17

       It's legal to come here if you have COVID, but not if you're not vaccinated.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:22

       Well, that makes sense.

   17. MMMichael Malice3:23

       Yeah, it's just absolutely crazy.

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:25

       (laughs)

   19. MMMichael Malice3:25

       But on May 11th, people will be able to come here and, and absolutely visit. I mean-

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:29

       Thank God they're waiting until May, because it's March, you know?

   21. MMMichael Malice3:31

       They postponed it too.

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:32

       You need a couple of months-

   23. MMMichael Malice3:33

       They post-

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:33

       ... really, like, make sure you got it ready.

   25. MMMichael Malice3:35

       It was supposed ... It was supposed to be April. They postponed it till May. So, I mean, are you not loving what's been happening with this city?

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:40

       Yeah, I love the city.

   27. MMMichael Malice3:41

       And it's thanks to you-

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:41

       I lo- I really do.

   29. MMMichael Malice3:41

       ... in large part, don't you think?

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:43

       Uh, I don't know. Uh, you know, I mean, uh, I'm very happy if anybody thinks that. But it's just an amazing city. It just, we're very lucky to be here. It's really special. It's like-
3. 4:28 – 8:11

   Austin’s live music and comedy boom (Neil Hamburger, Kurt Metzger)

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:28

      And musicians. The amount of musicians here is-

   2. MMMichael Malice4:29

      Oh, that's the music. I thought it'd be music. Yeah, the music capital of the world.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:31

      Incredible. The music here is incredible. It's so good.

   4. MMMichael Malice4:34

      And it's so accessible.

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:36

      Yeah, you can go out any night. There's bars on 6th Street on any night that have amazing bands playing. That's how we found out about Ellis Bullard. Which, uh, what is that place called? The White what? The White Horse? What's that, uh, bar called?

   6. NANarrator4:47

      Sounds Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:48

      I think it's the White Horse. Uh, cool little fucking bar. Like, real cool, like, little fucking shitty pool table. And, and there's like maybe 15, 20 people in there, and there's this honky-tonk dude on stage. And I'm like, "This guy is fucking amazing. His band's incredible."

   8. MMMichael Malice5:05

      Dude.

   9. JRJoe Rogan5:05

      I'm like, "How good is this music?"

   10. MMMichael Malice5:08

       And the thing I'm really happy about here as opposed to New York or LA is people are appreciative of being here.

   11. JRJoe Rogan5:15

       Yes.

   12. MMMichael Malice5:15

       They're not too cool for school.

   13. JRJoe Rogan5:16

       Right.

   14. MMMichael Malice5:16

       There's none of this like, "Ugh," you know. My, my friend Lux, she had this great line about if you are asked about an app, uh, just say, "Oh, I was that th- on that for a while, it sucked." So like-

   15. JRJoe Rogan5:26

       (laughs)

   16. MMMichael Malice5:26

       ... you could just pass, you could pass it at any party. "Oh yeah, I tried that for a while. It sucked." But we don't have that here. People are actually enthusiastic.

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:34

       I think the-

   18. MMMichael Malice5:34

       The comedy scenes here is amazing.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:36

       The comedy scene here is insane.

   20. MMMichael Malice5:37

       I just saw Neil Hamburger a couple weeks ago, got to-

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:39

       Nice.

   22. MMMichael Malice5:39

       ... see my favorite comedian.

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:40

       He's funny, man.

   24. MMMichael Malice5:41

       Oh my go-

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:41

       That dude's very funny.

   26. MMMichael Malice5:43

       He's my absolute hero.

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:43

       I, he opened up for Louie once. I saw him at the Irvine Improv, and I was like, "Dude, that guy is so good."

   28. MMMichael Malice5:49

       Did they, did they get it?

   29. JRJoe Rogan5:50

       ... yeah. Well, there's comedy fans there.

   30. MMMichael Malice5:52

       Okay.
4. 8:11 – 14:26

   Cult psychology, social-media pile-ons, and ideological tribalism

   1. JRJoe Rogan8:11

      It's coming from him. He's a- he's got a very unique sense of humor. He's so smart too. He's like alway-... Like... And he's a guy... You know, he grew up as a... I believe he was a Jehovah's Witness, right?

   2. MMMichael Malice8:20

      Yes.

   3. JRJoe Rogan8:20

      Yeah. So he grew up in a religious cult and he, he is, like, not buying it. Like, whenever there's, uh, any kind of group think going on or any kind of... He's like, "Oh, I know what this is. I know what this is."

   4. MMMichael Malice8:32

      (laughs) Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:32

      "Get the fuck out of here with this." He's the best at calling that. He's so good at that because I would imagine... I don't have that experience, but I would imagine if you had that experience of growing up in a fucking religious cult and then escaping, then you realize, like, "Oh my God, these are regular people." Regular people-

   6. MMMichael Malice8:48

      Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan8:48

      ... get caught up in mind viruses. Like, we always wanna look at people in a cult and go, "Well, that would never be me. I'm too smart for that. These fucking morons. Why do they believe that guy?" We're all susceptible. All of us are.

   8. MMMichael Malice9:00

      It's easier to train a smart dog than a dumb one.

   9. JRJoe Rogan9:03

      Oh.

   10. MMMichael Malice9:04

       And especially the appeal of the cult is you have this hidden arcane knowledge that the normies don't.

   11. JRJoe Rogan9:11

       Right.

   12. MMMichael Malice9:11

       And this is gonna feed into your sense of intelligence and self-

   13. JRJoe Rogan9:15

       Yes.

   14. MMMichael Malice9:15

       ... self-importance. It's like you're the one of the- the ones in the know.

   15. JRJoe Rogan9:19

       Yes.

   16. MMMichael Malice9:19

       And everyone else has blinders on.

   17. JRJoe Rogan9:21

       And you can be really aggressive about enforcing your opinion 'cause you know it's right.

   18. MMMichael Malice9:27

       R- right.

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:27

       You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a thing that people are doing that they did during the pandemic and they do about any issue that's controversial, whether it's abortion or whether it's guns or anything. It's like the people... Instead of, like, talking about it like, "These are the pros and cons, this is what's going on, this is where I could understand why you would think like this, this is why I think like that," and just try to work it out, it- it always becomes this, like, very vicious attack on your- on your mental capacity-

   20. MMMichael Malice9:59

       Yes.

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:59

       ... on your thought process, your education. You immediately... They wanna classify you in some sort of a category where they could dismiss you, whether it's sexist or racist or transphobic or whatever. They just-

   22. MMMichael Malice10:11

       Out group. Right.

   23. JRJoe Rogan10:12

       ... throw you in an out group and start screaming at you. And it's the most unproductive way to communicate. And i- I think it's also a product of social media that we need to be really careful about 'cause it's changing the way people interact with each other.

   24. MMMichael Malice10:26

       Well, I think it's more a function of evolutionary psychology because if I'm low status and I have no opportunity to, you know, raise my rank in terms of kind of whatever, long-term mating, this gives me an excuse. Now I'm in a position to tell Joe Rogan, Mr. Podcaster celebrity, that I'm better than him. So right away, without having to do any of the work building the audience, I'm leapfrogging over you because I understand drug protocols better than Joe who went to the veterinarian and just took something off the shelf and just injected it into his veins.

   25. JRJoe Rogan10:56

       Yes. Yeah, definitely it's- it's that too. There's a l-... There's, like, many factors, but that's definitely one of the factors why people get aggressive and attack famous people, but it's not just famous people.

   26. MMMichael Malice11:07

       Sure.

   27. JRJoe Rogan11:07

       It's... They do it to people that ha-... Any person who has a- an ideology that's different than them. Like-

   28. MMMichael Malice11:13

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan11:14

       ... y- people on the right do it too.

   30. MMMichael Malice11:15

       Of course they do.
5. 14:26 – 18:56

   Underground comics, R. Crumb, and why edgy art moved rightward

   1. JRJoe Rogan14:26

      Yeah, and they, they got into a nice vibe of, like, being a good person. But that's what the left used to be about. The left used to be about, like, freedom. It was more, it was more, like, freedom of spree- speech, freedom of expression. You know, like, think about the comic books that came from the left, like R. Crumb, like fucking bizarre, wild shit the right would never create, right? But then somewhere along the line, the roles reversed, and I don't even know if people realize it. It's like a shifting of the polar ice caps. Like today, if you were gonna be a person who had a controversial comic book, you would most likely be on the right.

   2. MMMichael Malice15:03

      100%.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      If you had, like, anything remotely as satirical and as fucked up as some of those R. Crumb comics... Have you ever read those?

   4. MMMichael Malice15:11

      Did you know R. Crumb was gonna draw my graphic novel?

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      No!

   6. MMMichael Malice15:15

      You didn't know this?

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      No!

   8. MMMichael Malice15:15

      Do you know who... You know who heard of Heka wrote a book about me, right?

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:18

      Who did?

   10. MMMichael Malice15:18

       Harvey Pekar?

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:19

       I did not. I did not know that.

   12. MMMichael Malice15:20

       He- Harvey Pekar from American Splendor, who was R. Crumb's, like, bestie, right? He had a graphic novel about me, came out in 2006, and R. Crumb was originally going to be the artist-

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       Oh my God.

   14. MMMichael Malice15:31

       ... which would've been absolutely insane.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       Did you ever watch that documentary on that?

   16. MMMichael Malice15:35

       Of course, where his brother's eating the rope?

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       Insane. His brother is just out to lunch, just reading books all day and living in the house.

   18. MMMichael Malice15:42

       They're all in- uh, like insane.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       And the mom, and him.

   20. MMMichael Malice15:44

       But that, that was such a... I mean, talking about earlier, we were talking about Austin. Like, the, the Midwest in that time when America was kind of this, like, dark and lost place-

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:52

       Yeah.

   22. MMMichael Malice15:52

       ... there was so much creativity in that, um, alt comic scene, especially all the way through the '90s. Like, a lot of really amazing creative people. Dan Clowes is another one who's just amazing. Uh, really just great stuff. Yeah, so Harvey, uh, uh, uh, did a book about me. It's, it goes for like 200 bucks now too.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       That's amazing.

   24. MMMichael Malice16:10

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:10

       So R... But R. Crumb's comics are pretty fucking wild. Like, today, if you-

   26. MMMichael Malice16:15

       Even then.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       ... even try... Even then.

   28. MMMichael Malice16:16

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:16

       Even then. Um, you know, when I was... Like, this is how h- much hippies my parents were. We had that R. Crumb How To Wipe Your Ass thing framed in the bathroom. Do you know that, uh...

   30. MMMichael Malice16:28

       No, I don't know that one.
6. 18:56 – 20:55

   Institutions and corruption: FBI/CIA ‘humans with power’

   1. JRJoe Rogan18:56

      Blanket trust.

   2. MMMichael Malice18:57

      Yeah. It's this complete, uh-

   3. JRJoe Rogan18:59

      I trust the idea of both of them.

   4. MMMichael Malice19:00

      Do you?

   5. JRJoe Rogan19:01

      I trust some of the individuals that are in them, yes.

   6. MMMichael Malice19:03

      I, I had-

   7. JRJoe Rogan19:03

      But it's... Like, it's just a fucking group of humans. When you have a group of humans-

   8. MMMichael Malice19:07

      Right.

   9. JRJoe Rogan19:07

      ... any group of humans, you're gonna have certain people that bend the rules. You're gonna have certain people that say, "You know what? I think I can get away with this." You're gonna have certain people that say, "I'm gonna use this power 'cause it's fun." You got a lot of weird things that happen when you get people, and if you call them the FBI... It's a fucking group of humans.

   10. MMMichael Malice19:23

       Okay. I-

   11. JRJoe Rogan19:23

       They're just humans, like all of us.

   12. MMMichael Malice19:25

       I had dinner with an ex-either FBI... I think it was CIA operative. Or FBI, but I'm, I'm not even sure if it was CIA. And he was talking about how it's illegal for him or his coworkers to, like, look up his ex-girlfriend's Gmail. But what he could do is call his f- contact in France and be like, "Hey, look up this Gmail for me."

   13. JRJoe Rogan19:44

       (laughs)

   14. MMMichael Malice19:44

       And he could look it up for his French girl, for his French buddy. And he was talking about like, "Oh, this is how corrupt we are." I'm like, "You should be in jail."

   15. JRJoe Rogan19:52

       (laughs)

   16. MMMichael Malice19:53

       Like, you're using your powers to look up your ex's emails-

   17. JRJoe Rogan19:57

       (laughs)

   18. MMMichael Malice19:57

       ... and you're just talking about it like, "Oops, I'm on the take."

   19. JRJoe Rogan20:00

       Right.

   20. MMMichael Malice20:00

       Like, you're evil.

   21. JRJoe Rogan20:00

       That should be a serious crime.

   22. MMMichael Malice20:02

       It is, though.

   23. JRJoe Rogan20:03

       Yeah.

   24. MMMichael Malice20:03

       It's just not enforced.

   25. JRJoe Rogan20:04

       Oh, my God.

   26. MMMichael Malice20:04

       There's no way that's not a serious crime, when you're-

   27. JRJoe Rogan20:07

       That's so wild.

   28. MMMichael Malice20:08

       So when people talk about corruption and like-

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:10

       (laughs)

   30. MMMichael Malice20:10

       ... "Oh, it's... You know, it's like Hunter Biden's on the take," that's not the corruption I'm worried about. It's shit like this.
7. 20:55 – 23:10

   The box reveal: hyper-realistic Lex Fridman cake

   1. MMMichael Malice20:55

      It's like, "Okay, I'm sorry." It's just really kind of a, a, um, a, a messed up. Do you wanna see, do you wanna see what's in the box?

   2. JRJoe Rogan21:00

      Sure. Show me the cake.

   3. MMMichael Malice21:01

      Well, I'll tell you the whole story about the cake.

   4. JRJoe Rogan21:03

      Okay.

   5. MMMichael Malice21:03

      So I'm at home, dicking around on Twitter as I'm want to do, and I get a like when the verified tab meant something. And I'm like, "Okay, who is this broad?" And I look-

   6. JRJoe Rogan21:13

      (laughs)

   7. MMMichael Malice21:13

      And, and that wasn't the word I used, mind you, but I'm being nice. And I looked, and it's this girl, Natalie Sideserf. She and her husband, they live in Austin. They make these super realistic cakes. So I said to them, "I'm gonna be on Rogan." We became good friends. We just went to Miami together, whole crew of us, me, Blair White also. Um, and I'm like, "Make me a cake of your favorite Russian podcaster." So I hope that they got my cheekbones right.

   8. JRJoe Rogan21:36

      Oh, boy. Here we go.

   9. MMMichael Malice21:40

      Oh, goddammit.

   10. JRJoe Rogan21:41

       Hmm. (smacks lips) Turn it towards me. It's pretty goddamn good. That's pretty godd- That, that is Lex in a fucking-

   11. MMMichael Malice21:51

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan21:51

       That's perfect.

   13. MMMichael Malice21:52

       I think it's got too much emotion in the eyes.

   14. JRJoe Rogan21:54

       The lips are a little pursed, though. It makes up for that. He might be in the middle of, like, saying something important about Dostoevsky.

   15. MMMichael Malice22:00

       Does this, does this look as insane on camera as it looks in person?

   16. JRJoe Rogan22:06

       (clicks tongue) It's really good, dude.

   17. MMMichael Malice22:07

       Holy crap.

   18. JRJoe Rogan22:07

       Let me take a photo of it.

   19. MMMichael Malice22:08

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan22:08

       Hold on a second. That's really good. So what we're looking at here, for the people that are just listening, is a fucking amazing bust of-

   21. MMMichael Malice22:16

       Oh, I gotta take a taste.

   22. JRJoe Rogan22:17

       ... Lex Fridman-

   23. MMMichael Malice22:17

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan22:17

       ... that's actually, uh, a cake.

   25. MMMichael Malice22:21

       Hold on. Yeah, so they did that meme that everything is cake. It's them.

   26. JRJoe Rogan22:25

       Wow, they're a really talented band. God, look at that.

   27. MMMichael Malice22:27

       Crazy.

   28. JRJoe Rogan22:27

       That looks so good.

   29. MMMichael Malice22:28

       Does that-

   30. JRJoe Rogan22:28

       How does it feel to be number two if best, at best?
8. 23:10 – 31:43

   Rogan’s comedy club journey & the ‘Holy Hell’ cult theater near Austin

   1. MMMichael Malice23:10

      Um, are you excite... Uh, can we talk about the club?

   2. JRJoe Rogan23:12

      Yeah, sure.

   3. MMMichael Malice23:13

      Are you excited to open it?

   4. JRJoe Rogan23:13

      Oh, yeah. It's fine.

   5. MMMichael Malice23:14

      Ho- how long has this been your dream?

   6. JRJoe Rogan23:16

      Uh, it wasn't a dream ever. I used to tell comedians, "Be nice to club owners 'cause you don't wanna be one." 'Cause I was like, "We need them."

   7. MMMichael Malice23:24

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:24

      Like, 'cause-

   9. MMMichael Malice23:24

      Sure.

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:24

       ... comedians have, uh, oftentimes have an adversarial relationship with people at clubs.

   11. MMMichael Malice23:29

       I feel like he's watching me. Hold on.

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:30

       He is. He's judging us.

   13. MMMichael Malice23:32

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:32

       He's always judging me.

   15. MMMichael Malice23:33

       "Zero, zero, zero."

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:34

       (laughs)

   17. MMMichael Malice23:34

       "And I wanted you to be ones. What, Joe, why are you such a zero?"

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:39

       Ah. The, um, the relationship that comedians have with clubs is based on the initial feeling that you had from clubs. There's like, like... You have to kind of, like, work through that because in the beginning, you're an open mic, and you're fucking terrible. And you start getting better, and you're trying to get work, but they don't wanna give you work. And they don't really respect you because they remember when you were terrible. And then you have to leave town. And then when you leave town, you're going to clubs, and you're not getting paid that much. And sometimes people will kind of screw you over on the ticket prices or something will go wrong. And you, you gotta just be cool about all of it. You gotta be as friendly to club owners as you can because you don't wanna be one, and you need those people. We need them. We're not gonna go open up our own clubs. And I would say to these guys, like, just... We have this idea like it's an adversarial relationship with clubs. Like, it's not. We're all working together. Like, you gotta be nice to these folks.... like, no one wants to open a fucking club. And then I came here, I was like, "Goddamn it, I gotta open a club." I was like, we had one place we were working out of, which is like an EDM club, the Vulcan Gas Company, which has been amazing, but it's not really set up for comedy.

   19. MMMichael Malice24:45

       Right.

   20. JRJoe Rogan24:45

       There's a balcony. It's weird. Some of the, the, the seating, like, people are staring at a screen. I don't like that part of it. But it's an amazing staff, and it's an amazing s- and it sounds great. It's fun, and it kept us here for, like, a couple years a while ago. But we need, like, a full-time comedy club, like The Comedy Store. And so I started looking, and I almost bought one place that was owned by a cult.

   21. MMMichael Malice25:06

       Oh.

   22. JRJoe Rogan25:07

       Yeah, yeah. It was (coughs) this is, I was actually under contract, and then some issues happened and it fell apart. But I didn't know what that meant until Adam Eget said, "Oh, yeah," he goes, "I, I saw the documentary on them." I go, "What? There's a documentary?"

   23. MMMichael Malice25:23

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan25:23

       Oh, Jesus Christ.

   25. MMMichael Malice25:23

       You know the cult's bad-

   26. JRJoe Rogan25:25

       He's-

   27. MMMichael Malice25:25

       ... when they make a movie about it. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan25:26

       So, the documentary's called Holy Hell.

   29. MMMichael Malice25:28

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan25:28

       And this documentary's about this guy who, um, he ran a cult in West Hollywood, and he was this guy who, at one point in time, he was like a, he was a failed actor, and then he was, he was a dancer, and he was this just really weird gay guy that was super, super charismatic. And he, uh, got all these people to join his cult. And they fled West Hollywood for some reason and came to Austin. And when they got to Austin, they set up this whole commune. And, uh, he had them build him a theater where he could dance in front of them.
9. 31:43 – 41:48

   Landmark, loneliness, and why communities (AA/church) can help or harm

   1. MMMichael Malice31:43

      Uh, I had a friend of mine, uh, casual friend, who texted me outta nowhere. I'd, I talked to her maybe once every few years, and she's like, "Oh, have you heard of this thing called Landmark?" And I-

   2. JRJoe Rogan31:54

      Oh, no.

   3. MMMichael Malice31:55

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan31:56

      Jesus Christ.

   5. MMMichael Malice31:56

      And I go, "Yeah, it's a cult." And she's like, "Oh, haha. You're so funny. Anyway, I wanted to give you this great opportunity." And she just kept texting me, and it's just like, I don't know what they're-

   6. JRJoe Rogan32:07

      Does sh- how does she not know you?

   7. MMMichael Malice32:09

      That's the th- well, uh, 'cause I'd be the big fish. If she could f- f-

   8. JRJoe Rogan32:13

      Yeah, but doesn't she understand? Like, who is this person? How does she not know you?

   9. MMMichael Malice32:16

      She, I've know, she's friends with a couple I mentioned earlier. Uh, um-

   10. JRJoe Rogan32:19

       (laughs)

   11. MMMichael Malice32:19

       ... I've, I've known her friends of friends since, for like 20 years.

   12. JRJoe Rogan32:22

       How funny is it when someone's, uh, uh, j- uh, their ability to read someone is so off that they would come to you-

   13. MMMichael Malice32:27

       But I don't think ... You think it's a-

   14. JRJoe Rogan32:28

       ... with some cult proposal?

   15. MMMichael Malice32:29

       I don't think that's how it works. I think it's more like if you have even the slightest chance, you have to go for it no matter what. And if she came back-

   16. JRJoe Rogan32:37

       Oh.

   17. MMMichael Malice32:37

       It's like, "Who's the big ..." I bet you they sit them down, and they say, "Who's the biggest name in your cellphone?" And that's gonna be your target.

   18. JRJoe Rogan32:44

       (laughs)

   19. MMMichael Malice32:44

       That's how it works.

   20. JRJoe Rogan32:45

       Oh, boy.

   21. MMMichael Malice32:45

       You don't wanna just grab some, like, bag lady. You want someone who's got, like, some kind of slight cred-

   22. JRJoe Rogan32:50

       Of course.

   23. MMMichael Malice32:51

       ... 'cause then he's bringing his people over.

   24. JRJoe Rogan32:52

       Of course. That-

   25. MMMichael Malice32:53

       And then you could be the one, like, "Oh my god, she brought in-"

   26. JRJoe Rogan32:55

       Right.

   27. MMMichael Malice32:56

       "... you know, whoever. Rogan, Michael Malice."

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:59

       And if she doesn't understand that she's in a cult?

   29. MMMichael Malice33:03

       Right. She thinks-

   30. JRJoe Rogan33:04

       Is, is Landmark a cult? Like, what? I don't know anything about it.
10. 41:48 – 45:21

    Howard Stern’s evolution and the right/left censorship flip

    1. MMMichael Malice41:48

       What do you think of what Howard's-

    2. JRJoe Rogan41:50

       (sighs)

    3. MMMichael Malice41:50

       ... become recently?

    4. JRJoe Rogan41:51

       Well, I mean-

    5. MMMichael Malice41:52

       He's the only person I know who's gone, other than Penn maybe, who's gone from being red-pilled to blue-pilled.

    6. JRJoe Rogan41:57

       Yeah.

    7. MMMichael Malice41:59

       For people who don't know, let me do a little... 'Cause the kids these days don't know.

    8. JRJoe Rogan42:02

       Yeah.

    9. MMMichael Malice42:02

       Howard Stern had a guy in his show, Stuttering John, and he would send them out to talk to celebrities. And he would ask them the most fucked up questions. And this wasn't before, this was before social media-

    10. JRJoe Rogan42:13

        Oh, yeah.

    11. MMMichael Malice42:14

        ... so they had a... usually used to have a, a barrier. You can't just tweet at someone. So when Jennifer Flowers in '92 was announcing that she had an affair with Bill Clinton, people thought he was gonna sink his candidacy. He sent his boy there, and he asked her, "Did he use a condom?" And then he asked her, "Are you planning on sleeping with any other presidential candidates?"

    12. JRJoe Rogan42:30

        (laughs)

    13. MMMichael Malice42:30

        And the, the reporters there were ape shit, and they tried to kick him out.

    14. JRJoe Rogan42:34

        Oh.

    15. MMMichael Malice42:34

        But like he would do... He, when he had... And it's really f- kinda funny when he had these comedians who had like a stick up their ass. Like, I remember he talked to Billy Crystal. And Billy Crystal's like, "Oh, let me have it." And he's like, "All right, um, are you gonna be making a sequel to Mr. Saturday Night?" Like, his big bomb. And the look on Billy Crystal's face, just the pure rage. It was absolutely hilarious.

    16. JRJoe Rogan42:53

        God.... that's hilarious. Yeah, he did some wild shit. And then, um, I guess he had a falling out with Howard and then he went over to, uh, Jay Leno.

    17. MMMichael Malice43:01

        At, yeah. Now he-

    18. JRJoe Rogan43:01

        He was the announcer of the Jay Leno Show.

    19. MMMichael Malice43:03

        Yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan43:04

        So that was a great gig for him.

    21. MMMichael Malice43:05

        No, but what, but I think-

    22. JRJoe Rogan43:06

        He was, like, very underrated. Like, he just was willing to... But there was, like, that call... What, what he created was a morning show that you had to listen to.

    23. MMMichael Malice43:16

        Yes.

    24. JRJoe Rogan43:16

        Like, you would go to work and you'd go, "Oh, my God, did you hear Howard?"

    25. MMMichael Malice43:18

        Right. (laughs) "You ready?" Yeah, yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan43:19

        Yeah. "Do you hear..." And he, he did it every day. And it's a v-... It was a super valuable thing, because it didn't exist anywhere else. We... If we're around today, we have all these, like, social media memes that are hilarious and fucked up. We have, like, Reddit threads that are hilarious. The, uh... There's a lot of stuff out there where people are being outrageous. But back then there wasn't.

    27. MMMichael Malice43:43

        Right. It was just Howard.

    28. JRJoe Rogan43:43

        So you had a boring-ass fucking job where you're, like, sitting in a truck all day delivering packages or whatever it is, and in that morning when you get to work, you're listening to Howard fucking Stern, and he's got some lady who's riding on a vibrator. And she's, like... Remember he had the, the thing that they would-

    29. MMMichael Malice43:59

        Yeah, the Sybian. The Sybian.

    30. JRJoe Rogan44:00

        The Sybian.
11. 45:21 – 55:03

    Reality TV escalation: MILF Manor, Fear Factor, and the stunts Joe tried to stop

    1. MMMichael Malice45:21

       ... because sometimes I feel like we need more of that. Because have you heard this show called MILF Manor?

    2. JRJoe Rogan45:27

       Uh, I have. We played a preview, and I'm hoping it is what we thought it was.

    3. MMMichael Malice45:31

       Oh, I've been watching it. Um-

    4. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       Is it the sons of the ladies?

    5. MMMichael Malice45:34

       Oh, yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan45:35

       Okay. Of course it is.

    7. MMMichael Malice45:35

       So you have a group of young dudes. The youngest is 20.

    8. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       (sighs)

    9. MMMichael Malice45:41

       And they're in a house with their own moms.

    10. JRJoe Rogan45:44

        Yeah.

    11. MMMichael Malice45:44

        And it's like a dating pool. That's the dating pool.

    12. JRJoe Rogan45:46

        Right.

    13. MMMichael Malice45:47

        And the first episode, they had to feel their son's... Blindfolded, they had to feel the son's torsos to guess who their son was. And you're watching this, and these are not... By the way, the women seem kind of classy. They, they have jobs. They're professionals. They don't look like complete gutter rats. And you're watching, and you're like, "This is why we need an atom bomb to, like, destroy, destroy the w-" Because I'm like, I... And I can't not watch. I can't not watch. And you're wondering, like, who's gonna end up with which. And the thing is-

    14. JRJoe Rogan46:16

        But come on, isn't it fun that that's a real thing? Isn't it fun? If you went back to, like, Wheel of Fortune, and you go like, "You know what the new game show is gonna be like?"

    15. MMMichael Malice46:26

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan46:27

        (laughs) But you, you're talking to me, right? I hosted fucking Fear Factor. When I-

    17. MMMichael Malice46:31

        That's right, yeah. (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan46:31

        When I, when I used to... I hosted Fear Factor for six years, dude.

    19. MMMichael Malice46:33

        Right. That's right. That was the worst thing, yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan46:35

        I did, like, I don't know how many episodes we did.

    21. MMMichael Malice46:38

        Yeah.

    22. JRJoe Rogan46:38

        It was, like, 148 episodes or something crazy.

    23. MMMichael Malice46:41

        Like, yeah. The worst thing is like, "Oh, no, people are nude and walking down a runway."

    24. JRJoe Rogan46:44

        Yeah.

    25. MMMichael Malice46:44

        And now it's like, "Yeah, I'm just dating my... I'm just... My mom's trying to date my bro."

    26. JRJoe Rogan46:48

        I was saying while we were doing it, I would always, always make fun of it. I go, "We're all about three seasons away from the Running Man." I go, "All we need is one natural disaster."

    27. MMMichael Malice46:56

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan46:56

        I was always joking about it on set, 'cause one of the things about, uh, Fear Factor, episodes one through four, I did sober.

    29. MMMichael Malice47:03

        Okay.

    30. JRJoe Rogan47:04

        That's it. The whole thing, I was high as a kite.
12. 55:03 – 1:05:26

    Skid Row, ‘Soft White Underbelly,’ and the homelessness policy failure

    1. JRJoe Rogan55:03

       But that was when I first found out about Skid Row. I didn't know about Skid Row.

    2. MMMichael Malice55:07

       It's real. It's a real street. I didn't know that either.

    3. JRJoe Rogan55:09

       Well, I didn't know how bad it w- It was so bad in the early '20-

    4. MMMichael Malice55:12

       It's gotten worse though.

    5. JRJoe Rogan55:13

       Way worse. Way worse.

    6. MMMichael Malice55:13

       It's crazy. Have you seen those videos on, like, people just do this-

    7. JRJoe Rogan55:16

       Oh, yeah.

    8. MMMichael Malice55:16

       ... YouTubes? They just walk on s- it's just tent after tent after tent.

    9. JRJoe Rogan55:19

       Well, I had that guy from, uh, Soft White Underbelly. What's that gentleman's name again?... yeah. We'll, we'll pull it up. But, um, he's done a lot of, uh, interviews with these people from down there. Have you ever seen Soft White Underbelly-

    10. MMMichael Malice55:33

        No.

    11. JRJoe Rogan55:33

        ... on YouTube? It's really good, dude. Really good. He's a really good interviewer. And he interviews all of these people that... Mark Laita.

    12. MMMichael Malice55:44

        Okay.

    13. JRJoe Rogan55:45

        Sorry, Mark. Um, I have no m- no more room in my brain.

    14. MMMichael Malice55:49

        (laughs)

    15. JRJoe Rogan55:50

        My brain's fucked. Uh, but this sh- this show that he has on YouTube-

    16. MMMichael Malice55:53

        Oh, wow.

    17. JRJoe Rogan55:53

        ... he interviews, like, pimps, and gang members, and, uh, people who are a- addicted to heroin, um, street hookers, people with schizophrenia. He interviews, uh, these- this inbred family in the- the hills of West Virginia. Like, like, the whole family's inbred. It's- it's crazy.

    18. MMMichael Malice56:12

        Oh, my god.

    19. JRJoe Rogan56:12

        The son talks in barks. He just barks like a dog. Like, and you see them, it's like, it's so wild.

    20. MMMichael Malice56:18

        Like that X Files episode?

    21. JRJoe Rogan56:20

        Y- y- p- p- I'll show it to you-

    22. MMMichael Malice56:21

        Yes, please.

    23. JRJoe Rogan56:21

        ... because it's- it's so crazy that it's- people don't believe it. And this-

    24. MMMichael Malice56:25

        It's like R. Crumb shit.

    25. JRJoe Rogan56:27

        Beyond. Beyond. But he- he interviews people, and he's, like, really kind, and he's very non-judgmental. So, he gets people to talk about all kinds of stuff, like how they got into prostitution, what was it like the first time they did drugs, when did they know they were hooked.

    26. MMMichael Malice56:41

        Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

    27. JRJoe Rogan56:41

        This is the whole family.

    28. MMMichael Malice56:43

        Oh, my god.

    29. JRJoe Rogan56:43

        Dude, it's crazy.

    30. MMMichael Malice56:44

        This is Hills Have Eyes?

Episode duration: 3:28:25